Reddit Stories - REDEMPTION Road From ALCOHOLIC Abuser To Sober Survivor The Divorce ULTIMATUM

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #alcoholismrecovery #sobrietyjourney #divorceultimatum #personaltransformation #mentalhealthawarenessSummary: A gripping tale of redemption from an alcoholic abuser facing a divorce ultimatum. Follow the journey of transformation from darkness to light, as the protagonist navigates the challenges of sobriety and personal growth.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, redemptionroad, alcoholicabuser, sobersurvivor, divorceultimatum, personaltransformation, mentalhealthawareness, addictionrecovery, overcomingchallenges, selfimprovement, inspirationalstory, recoveryjourney, lifeafteraddiction, familydrama, personaldevelopment, strengthandresilienceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

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and maximize game performance with enhanced overclocking. Win the tech search. Power up at Lenovo.com. I hope you enjoy this story. I struggled with alcohol addiction and neglected my spouse emotionally. She initiated divorce proceedings, but I managed to get clean and transform my life. We are now working on rebuilding our relationship, but I still carry the weight of my remorse. Is suffocating me?

Me, 27M, and my wife, 31F, hit a rough spot and have been separated at home for almost a year now. It was largely my fault after a big setback and my father's death, I fell into alcoholism and despair, stopped taking care of myself and neglected her when not emotionally abused her. Eventually she had enough and after I refused therapy for the end-age time, consulted a divorce lawyer and drafted papers. I signed them off right away, but she didn't, keeping them in her room, she knew I was in a hard spot financially, so she said she'd wait for me to come into my inheritance so I could move out and then she'd sign and file for a no-fault divorce, not from the U.S., in our country you can do this. After two months sleeping in my home office, I got sick of it and stopped drinking,

dived into work and overall did chores around the house and helped her out. When she commented on my change, I boasted I was doing it for myself and not for her, and she agreed because while she wanted me out, she still cared for me. Over the last month she also occasionally asked me to sleep in the bed with her and not in my home office. Nothing intimate happened but still she would spoon me. This until last evening. We had gotten closer and closer especially over the holidays and I told her that what I said was not true, I had changed and stopped drinking to show her at first, but then I really wanted to turn over a new leaf and be a good soon-to-be ex-husband.

She went to her room and picked the divorce papers, setting them in front of me. She asked what we should do with those then, so I ripped them and she yelled out a big yes. And then hugged me. So, I guess we won't be getting divorced. Hooray. Update 1. Hello everyone. I posted a week ago about what had happened the evening prior, after living separate at home for almost a year, my soon-to-be ex-wife wanted to reconcile so I ripped

divorce papers in front of her, to her delight. However, soon after the realization that I had planned my whole new year around the fact I was getting divorce set in, and that the decision of reconciliation actually brought me uncertainty and anxiety. My wife noticed that, and we had a number of heart to heart about this. There was talking, laughs and even tears during those talks, tears of the good, liberatory kind. My wife rarely if almost never cries, she's the stoic type, but seeing her break into tears, sobbing how much I hurt her and she still loves me, was like getting stabbed in the heart, I realized the pain I caused her is still fresh and burning. She unloaded all the pain and turmoil I had inflicted upon her with my past behavior,

and admitted she felt both proud and bitter about my changes in the last year, proud because I turned my life around, bitter because I had accepted the divorce so quickly as if she was what was holding me back, and she wasn't worth my best self. However, she was also angry at herself because she was already reconsidering the divorce back in June, but didn't say anything or gave me signals because she feared I'd revert to my old behavior, or would rebuff her. In the meantime, I had started to renovate my father's old villa, well, more of a big house than a proper mansion, to move in this year, and gave her only breadcrums information about it,

and she was both positively surprised to learn about all the work I am putting into it. and again a bit bitter that I didn't tell her anything and all my projects were designed without her in mind, as if she was just an already fading memory. The possibility of an amicable divorce has been brought up again, but she wanted two clear answers. One, was there another woman? Two, did I actually stop loving her? The answer to both question is no.

I told her I did suffer about losing her in our marriage, but I didn't want to be the ex-husband who made fleeting promises, hounded her down and made a nuisance of herself. It's the least I could have done after making her suffer so much and also, thank her for her infinite kindness. I just worked, did my best to be a good soon-to-be ex-husband, paid my utilities and wanted to pay her a rent for the room she allocated me in her home, which she always refused even when I insisted. Eventually arrived the $1 million question, do we want this marriage to work?

Answer, yes. It won't be easy and there's still a lot of work to be done. We agreed to take baby steps and have already booked couple therapy for this week. I am already doing individual therapy but now she'll be looking for individual therapy for herself as well. In the last week, we went on some quiet dates, walks in a short hiking trip. I also made a peace offering of sorts by asking her if she wanted to participate in my renovation project. of my father's house, give her input and ideas. She was enthusiastic about it, she likes gardening, but her property has no garden and she makes

do with the potted plants on the balcony, while my father's house has a large garden and a big plot of overgrown land behind it. She said we will be busting our backs, but it will the worth it, and I think that working together on a shared project will help re-establishing our bond. So that's where we stand now. The road is still long and difficult, but I'm hopeful. I wish to sincerely thank all the Redditor who gave me their insights, comments, praises and criticism. Update 2, little changed in the last week. We had our first couple counseling session, her first therapy session, we laid down a framework for our marriage. Went out on some dates and overall spent quality time together.

We still haven't been intimate, she tried to initiate once, but I gently turned it into cuddling and talking. Another issue is that I have some difficulty sleeping in the same bed as her, not because I have something against her, but I'm so used in sleeping in my own bed that often I sleep one or two hours with her, wake up and head to my home office slash bedroom and sleep there. I wake up earlier and fix breakfast for her, she's happy about it, but mentioned once I didn't sleep with her. Do those things take time? I believe so, but I'm a bit scared I'm giving the impression I gave up on our marriage. I believe it will take months and lots of work to get back at how we were,

while she thinks the process should be quicker and I'm being too hard on myself and her. Update 3. I have been sober for over a year, and got sober after she served me divorce papers. She decided to try to reconcile last January, and although things have been not easy to say the least, we still sleep separately. I don't feel secure enough to have SEGs with her, and we do lots of individual and couple therapy, we somehow are managing. However, despite what she says, I can't get over the shame that I have been a useless and abusive drunkard and she probably remembers me as such, and the shame and guilt become unbearable. I work as a civil servant, in family services, ironically enough, and recently I got moved to the cabinet in the provincial

government. Even had a photo shaking hands with our prime minister. My wife picked this photo. I and put it on Facebook for everyone to see writing how proud she was. I do think she genuinely believes this, and I'm happy, but I also think she's too eager to rug-sweep the past and our problems aren't fixed at all. I still feel lots of shame and guilt towards her every time I look at her and at a certain point even looked forward to divorce, but she insists I am doing all the right things

and if I love her divorce would be something I'll end up regretting. I just feel we will never overcome this, and although many moments are happy and I do my best to give her quality time, cook her favorite dishes and get her gifts. I can't help but feel hopeless and even alone in my feelings. She wants for us to move on, but while for her it might be easy to forgive me, for me it's not easy to let go of the shame of what I was to her. My therapist says I have to deal with it on my own as I caused all this and I agree,

but I don't know how to move forward. Is there something I can do, or should I learn to accept this and live with it. Maybe with time it will get better. After all a year sober is almost nothing. Update 4, she had every right to file for divorce because of my alcoholism. She didn't deserve that. In the meantime I was sick of it so I stopped drinking, focused on my career and on renovating my father's house. She wanted to reconcile upon seeing those changes, and I agreed. But now I'm realizing I had internalized the divorce and my life plans.

I planned my new less-a-n life about it. I can't see myself being intimate with her, she tried a couple of times and I gently turned her down. As a gesture of goodwill, I asked her if she wanted to participate in my father's home renovation project and she accepted with enthusiasm, she always wanted a garden. Now I'm regretting it because that was supposed to be my retreat from the work, and I will have to share it with her. I said all of this to her. She was upset but also understanding,

in her opinion part of the fault is hers, she never communicated about reconciliation and sprung it up on me, and as a result what should have been a happy thing became a source of stress and anxiety for me. My therapist and her are saying this is my depression talking, but I'm not so sure. Are we truly done? Update 5, not really an update, just a new development. I showed her the last thread. She's reading it on her phone. She said she already knew many of the things I wrote, including the comments about jam and flowers. She said if she knew the anguish or reconciliation so soon would cause, she wouldn't have offered it and is regretting it. She thanks everyone for the kind words and appreciations made towards her. At the same time

she got upset because in her opinion I put things worse than they are, so even if you're a Either I exaggerated them, or I've been keeping my true feelings from her, and this is a big problem. For example, she says I'm not as cold as I'm making myself up to be, and that she's not as pushy as I make her to be, and in fact she's been giving me lots of space. She says I'm doing a weird self-sabotage here. She says I'm trying to get her to leave me, but it won't happen and if I really want to end I have to do it myself.

She doesn't agree with it, but if I want to move out she won't oppose it. She wasn't angry, just very numb. Update 6, things are not easy, but overall they are going well, both in therapy in everyday life. There's still some issues in getting intimate, but we are getting there. Sometimes though the shame and guilt become too much and I wonder why is she even staying with me. Maybe sunk costs. I do my best, little gifts, dates, cooking her favorite dishes, picking up chores, but to me it always feels like I can. could do more. Sometimes she notices this and says to take it easy. She says I try too hard

sometimes and it comes off as artificial. She likes that now I'm all smiles, always shaved, well-dressed and gentlemanly with her, but joke that sometimes I look like the president of her country of origin. I'm doing my best though, even at the cost of overdoing it. Update 7, two months later, things are going lukewarmly well. Talks of reinitiating divorce proceedings have stopped, and although we still sleep separately and have no intimacy, my issues, working on it with my therapist, we are doing well. Sometimes I feel I can't get over the shame that I have been a useless and abusive drunkard

and she probably remembers me as such, and the shame and guilt become unbearable, but then it passes a bit. Basically we are starting over, dating, doing bonding activities, I get her gifts and surprises. She admitted she thought things would go faster, but in the end agrees with me that after a year separated things can't just get back as before. She also says I am too hard on myself, but I think she's the one being too indulgent. But apart from those difficulties, we are doing fine.

I think this will be my last post for a while. Things are going well, reasonably so. Still having issues in the bedroom, but I am working on them to try and be a good husband at least on that aspect. Last week I received a work assignment in the capital of our country. It's a two months long assignment and I'll be provided state housing. She is excited about this and already wants to pack her bags. I have my doubts about her coming along for her own sake. She has friends and family here, me not so much, cut them all off and not interested in

reconnecting, her support system as a whole. She has reasons and loved ones to stay here, unlike me. She won't budge, since we are married, it's her full right to come along, and since she has her own e-commerce business she can manage it remotely. Plus she wants us to get back home every weekend. I know better than dying on this hill, so I'll be leaving with her. That's it. Naturally, I am always, cautiously and within reason, hopeful about our few together. Update 8, just dropping by to say this will be really my last post. I couldn't take it anymore and I did not understand why I kept having negative thoughts about my wife and me despite things going well, and some of you got into my ear there could be something wrong in my

head. So we got in touch with a professional, got tests done and found out my blood values were very screwed up. This led the doctors to speculate a chemical imbalance in my brain and prescribe me antidepressants, not exactly antidepressants, they are mood regulators they told me. Both my wife and I were hesitant about this, but I gave it a try and lo and behold, my negative thoughts disappeared overnight. I finally feel in control of my emotions, I feel that I love my wife, and I feel that things can and will get better. I was putting on a front before, but now I really enjoy spending time with her and make her smile. We started making love again, no blue pill was needed, L.O.L. And we get back from the Capitol every weekend.

We are turning my father's old villa into our private retreat and love nest. I did apologize for my unreliable behavior in the past months after she had extended me an olive branch. She said she doesn't blame because of what we know now, but I still think it's not a valid excuse. I should have sought medical help sooner. Now I can say, and mean it, that I'm happy and grateful my wife practically gave me a third chance, and I don't want to waste it. I want to make her smile every day and enjoy everything to the fullest. I guess this is it and you won't be hearing from me ever again. I just want to thank you guys for your inputs, opinions, advice and criticism.

Baraspora, ad Astra. Comments, Taiwan Bandit, congrats up. Many have been following your story and happy you gave us a positive story to read. continue to take care of you and your wife. Op, thank you, my friend, I will. It feels like I've been on a very long hangover and it cleared up just now. Shining Moon TTV, oh hey, I remember your other posts. Way to go, man.

Keep up the awesome work and cheers to a better future for everyone involved. You deserve to smile. Veronica 92-16, I followed your story, and I've followed your story, and I would was one of those thinking there was something wrong in your head, no offense, I mean the chemical imbalance. I'm glad to see medication has improved you and your wife's quality of life. I think she's especially happy because after all this time she finally got back the love of her life. Op, thank you. I admit I am a bit afraid I could end up hooked on medication for the rest of my life, but doctors reassured me it won't be the case, and anyhow the priority is our wellness.

Now on to the next story. Story 2. Caught my wife in bed with another man while I was traveling for my job as an archaeologist. My wife and I met in Savannah, where we both attended college in very different fields. She was going for scriptwriting and I studied archaeology. The first date went well enough that we continued seeing each other, and the more we did, the more we realized just how perfect we were for each other. She was a little geeky, very feminine, and very good at communicating.

When we first dated, we went out together weekly for trivia night at our favorite place and saw each other any chance we got during the week. Before her third year in school started, she moved in with her mom to save money because living on campus wasn't the best financial decision. From the first time I met her mom over dinner, she loved me. So did her sister and nieces. They all accepted me as if I was always part of the family. I had a job lined up as an archaeologist as soon as I graduated.

My wife had a little trouble finding a job with her degree. So, she started writing scripts to submit to several streaming services and channel networks. None of those panned out. Meanwhile, I proposed and we moved into the house I bought. Regardless of her income, I knew I wanted to marry her. As my wife, she continued writing for about a year, but after that she caved in and got a job as a receptionist at a non-profit organization. I told her she didn't have to work a job she didn't like, but she promised she wanted to do it because sitting at home wasn't cutting it for her. That job lasted a total of 15 months before she quit and started her own home business.

She started offering tarot card readings and selling little trinkets she made out of epoxy. Every Saturday, she went to the market with a cart full of her art projects to set up at a table she decorated to look pretty inviting and mysterious. I was surprised at how much money she managed to pull in from doing this. As an archaeologist, I had to travel for work. I would be home for about two weeks at a time, then leave for up to six weeks at a time. That was the longest it ever was, which I didn't think was that bad. Sure, I missed the intimacy with my wife, but that's what makes marriage so sacred. You wait and remain loyal to your spouse no matter what life throws at you, and when you

reunite, it's the most rewarding relationship experience. I returned from a six-week trip at one point, and after we had wonderful reunion sex, it seemed like something was bothering my wife. It was like she wanted to say something to me, but wasn't sure how I'd take it. As we sat watching a movie, she clung to her phone and I could feel her heartbeat racing. I finally paused it and confronted her, saying it was obvious something was on her mind. She swallowed hard and started to cry. She admitted she'd met someone at the market that she really enjoyed talking to.

She said she wanted to consider being a life coach to said person, but she wasn't sure how I'd feel about her talking to him every day. I asked her if I could read what they'd said to each other so far, so she gave me her phone after she scrolled up on the messages. There wasn't much that screamed infidelity to me. She just asked him how he was handling the move, and reminded him that while having to relocate your family is a huge pain and life obstacle, it isn't the end of the world, and he didn't have to feel trapped. We all have the free will to do whatever we feel like, up to, and including buying a plane ticket out of the country and never looking back. I told her it was fine for her to coach people and have friends, I just wanted to know the first names of the people she talked to, and made it clear that I trusted her not to start an affair or behave inappropriately with anyone. She was accepting of my terms, but I did notice a little disappointment in her.

Not enough that I could say anything, she would have denied it. Half a year passed without an incident or any trouble in our relationship. While I was away, working in Tennessee, my wife called me one evening as I laid in my hotel bed. She was crying, saying she needed to ask me a question that had been on her mind for some time. I told her to ask away, and that I wouldn't be mad at her just for asking a question. She asked me if I wanted to sleep with other women whenever I went on a work trip. I told her no, absolutely not. I never felt the need to sleep with a woman I didn't love or commit my life to.

I would wait as long as it took to sleep with her because she was my everything. She was surprised, but seemed comforted. She told me if I ever did want to, I could tell her and she wouldn't be mad. I told her she didn't need to worry about it because it never cried. my mind. I reminded her that when I chose to get married, I made her my one and only for the rest of my life. As much as I would be an archaeologist for the rest of my life. I told her I never wanted anything to come between us, and that sleeping with other people was just a recipe for disaster that could lead to jealousy, problems, and divorce. She agreed with me and seemed to feel

much better. She told me she loved me with all her heart and wanted to be my good, loyal wife for life. With that, we said good night. The next morning is when my gut started twisting and nodding. I didn't know what was going on at first, I honestly considered food poisoning as a possibility, but after giving it a moment's thought, I realized I wasn't sure I could trust my wife. She never asked me if she could sleep with someone else, but she kind of went around that question by asking me if I wanted to. I decided to go home early, even though my request was denied. I was risking my whole job to drive back home before I was scheduled to leave. After hours of worried driving, I arrived home to find my wife's car in the driveway,

and no suspicious activity. I was relieved, but that was short-lived. As soon as I unlocked the front door, I heard sounds coming from our bedroom. I raced to it to find my wife having sex with another man. When she saw me standing in the doorway, she screamed. I yelled for Apt to get out of my house, which he did, after scooping up his clothes. I just stared at my wife in disbelief for a few seconds before reminding her that I had just told her how much I didn't want either of us to sleep with other people, and how bad it would be for our relationship. She just whined and asked me what she was supposed to do when most of her life was spent waiting for me to love her, instead of actively loving her.

I told her she should do what any normal person has to do when they don't have access to a lover. Not meet some stranger and decide to take him to her marital home to have sex while her husband was out working. I told her this went against everything marriage stood for, and that whatever fantasy she had about an open relationship wasn't going to happen with me. I demanded a wife, in all senses of the word. She was on her knees, crying her eyes out, begging me with cupped hands to forgive her. She blamed herself for talking to other women about her situation, and listening to them

when they told her to do whatever she felt was right. I was beside myself. I couldn't believe that even though I was totally clear about how I felt about an open relationship, she still went and talked to other women who encouraged her to give into temptation and betray her vows. She cheated on me. She kept me in the dark and I still caught her sleeping with him. I told her to get out.

She told me she didn't know where to go. I told her I didn't care. I knew she had family and friends that wouldn't let her spend a night outside, so I told her to go to one of their houses. She wouldn't move. All she did was sit in the hallway, making all kinds of remorseful noises. Whenever she thought of something specific, she'd start sobbing all over again. I ignored her as best I could, locking myself in the spare room.

As annoying as it is, I was forced to stand my ground and share the house with her until she was ordered to vacate by the court, when our divorce was final. While we lived separately under the same roof, I posted daily to social media about what she'd done, tagging all her profiles and business accounts to it. I commented on the pictures of her tarot table setup, making smart remarks that questioned her ability to even see her own future downfall. This definitely impacted her reputation. A lot of would-be customers took one look at her social media accounts and found at least one of my comments. It was enough that she lost all motivation to do it.

She didn't even try getting a job in her degree field again. My testimony, along with the phone records I requested, were enough to avoid alimony payments. So, without any life prospects or motivation, my divorced ex moved back in with her mother, sister, and nieces. She's basically back to where she was in high school, except much older and sadder.