Reddit Stories - RELATIVES implore me to CONTINUE being the dutiful OFFSPRING and act as a

Episode Date: January 24, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #duty #relationships #obligation #emotionalburdenSummary: Relatives pressure me to maintain my role as the dutiful offspring, emphasizing family loyalty and expectations. This situation creates an emotional burden, as I struggle to balance my own desires with their demands. The conflict raises questions about personal autonomy versus familial obligations and the impact on mental well-being.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, family, obligations, emotionalhealth, personalautonomy, duty, relationships, familypressure, mentalwellbeing, conflict, expectations, loyalty, support, selfcare, boundaries, familydynamicsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Relatives implore me to continue being the dutiful offspring and act as a mediator, but after enduring numerous hardships, I have reached my breaking point. Additionally, this marks one of my initial contributions. Please forgive me for any mistakes. So, some context. My mother has two children, me, 24F, and my younger sister, 15F. Her and my dad were never together, but when she was,

she got pregnant with my sister all those years ago she married my stepfather out of wedlock. My stepfather is much, much older and was pretty wealthy at the time. When my mother decided to marry my stepdad, she packed me up and moved us four hours away from my grandparents, my primary caregiver since I was born, and my dad. I won't get too far into what my life was like after I moved in, but it is worth mentioning I suffer from diagnosed C-P-T-SD and severe anxiety from my years of living with them. my sister never had a chance. From the start she's been spoiled.

Not just spoiled, spoiled, spoiled rotten. As the years went on, I tried to tell my mother and stepdad that she would not just grow out of it like they said she would. I've had friends compare her to Veruca from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She screams, throws things, hits people, threatens to lie to CPS, calls our mother a whore slash fat cow slash depressed loser, and calls her father an old man. For heaven's sake, she called her 95-year-old grandmother an old bitch and stomped on our other grandmother's foot. She is out of control. What is done about this?

Well, their idea of discipline is, nothing. Her dad is considerably older and doesn't want to make her hate him for the short amount of time he has left with her. So he leaves the discipline to our mother who is mentally very unstable and crumbles easily. Because my sister is so outwardly difficult, I've always been revered. as the good child. To be clear me being the good child included my silence and compliance. I had to be responsible and mature for my age because my stepdad and mother were not. Because of this and some guilt, my mother and stepfather have always overly relied on me. I'm the one who placates, who mediates, who tried to parent their kid but was constantly undermined. It caused me to have

several severe relationship issues as an adult. After high school, I moved out and went to college. I attended therapy, and started to learn that my people pleasing from living with them was crippling me. So I've slowly started stopping. The last key component to the context is they my mom and stepdad do not support me. Even when I lived with them in high school, every dime for lunch money or new clothes came from my grandparents. Even my car was given to me by my grandparents at 18. They've paid one semester of my juko, roughly 2,500, and to their credit they did. They'd did pay for my braces when I was 10. However, this pales when compared to the 10kA semester they spend on her private school tuition, her $1,000 monthly allowance they put on her debit card,

her new Porsche car which she can't even drive yet, plus so much more. My mother even asked me to give up my birthday last year to attend my sister's cheer nationals in Florida, which I did to be a good sister, but there was no such thing for me when I was in high school. For the record, I understand most of this money is my wealthy stepdad. I am not delusional to the fact that I am not his kid and therefore shouldn't expect support from him. However, they expect me to support them. Now I'm at a head.

I've always relented and gone to my mother's house on Christmas Eve to wake up and open gifts Christmas morning because it's important to her but I don't believe I'm there because she wants me to be, but mostly so I can mediate. My sister always makes a spectacle of Christmas Eve. year our mother put $4,000 worth of gifts under the tree for her and me both and my sister was not happy with a single gift that she asked for. I'm talking screaming, throwing gifts in the trash, biting, scratching, all at 14 years old. Christmas Day has always ended in screaming in tears. I hate Christmas because of this. This year, I wanted to spend it with my grandparents and see my

dad over the holiday. This was not taken well. I get told by my grandkids. I get told by my grandparents, that I'm the only thing keeping my mom sane. It was implied a good kid would want to spend time with her family and sister on Christmas and I told her that my younger sister has gotten so much more than me, money, opportunities, support, etc., and she gets to be horrible to our mother and get rewarded for it. Why should I be a good kid if I'm not getting anything in return? Why should I spend a holiday with family that makes it horrible over my grandparents who are actually supporting me? My grandma said that this was a horrible thing to say. She begged me not to say this to my mother and to just put up with it.

This is not how my grandparents raised me to be or think, but it's not so much about the money as it is just the blatant usage of me. Some part of my feels greedy and spoiled for being upset over the difference in support, but somehow it still just feels so wrong to keep giving into them. What is keeping me at bay is that my grandparents have never steered me wrong, but I sometimes wonder if what was done to me gets forgotten about because my mother is mentally ill and does suffer, and my sister is like this because it's all she's ever known. I can't help but feel like I can't relent on this one, though, that my boundaries are being trampled.

So, Ida for wanting to say this to my mother? If yes, what else do I do? Thank you in advance for reading. Comments where Op has replied. Intrepid underscore potential six do you want to be paid to go to her house for Christmas? Look. Go be happy. But that is just not a good move, essentially losing all class and character and blackmailing for your attendance. Just don't go. NTA for not wanting to go, but you would be if you paid that pay me card. Oop, I'm not asking for monetary gain. I'm asking them to stop using me as their support, financial, emotional, etc. when they haven't shown me any since I moved in with them at 10 years old. It's always been this big deal of well you came out of it a better person and they can't help

it, and you're out of it now, but I'm still suffering from the damage they caused. My sister suffers. My grandparents suffer. They suffer. But instead of owning up to anything, they'd all rather pretend to have another happy Christmas. I'm ready to bring everything to a head, but then comes the hard truth I can't be the golden child with nothing in return but misery. Edip Nip which grandma is this? Why doesn't she support you being independent form you mother and trauma? You won't have them forever why don't they want you to spend the time with them who love you then with your spoiled sister? Oop these are my maternal grandparents.

Although my grandpa is not my blood grandpa and not my mom's biological dad, her dad denounced her on his deathbed. My mother has always had this jealousy when it comes to my grandparents, my grandma in particular. When under the influence she's told me several times I'm sorry I wasn't the mother you needed or I'm your mom, not her. My grandmother, I think parents from guilt a lot for my mom because she's mentally ill and was an addict. We all sympathize with my mom and her situation

of not being stable and stuck in a marriage we don't think she'd ever choose to be in now. However, I for some reason get the brunt of bearing the emotional load. My grandma does try to lessen it, but my mom wants me because having me around lessens her guilt, I believe. This 514 I get that another part of the problem is that your grandparents are asking you to do this to support your mother, their daughter, I'm guessing. It might be worth explaining that you need a break or you're going to snap and you don't

want to add more drama to an already fraught situation. Frame it as a temporary break to your grandparents, just to get some breathing space until your mother's current family unit finds a new balance. That will probably end up being never, but at least it gives you time. And if they insist, suggest that they go and support your mother while you spend Christmas with your dad, if they want her low to ease so much. They don't want to deal with your sister either, so that should help them understand what they're asking you. Oop yes, this is a big part of the problem. My grandparents have done so much for me that they shouldn't have had to do because I'm not their child, yet they did. I will forever be indebted to them and if they ask anything of me I agree without hesitation.

So what this situation really boils down to is that if I'm not there, the drama and emotional burden falls on my grandmother. She's elderly, sickly, and I just can't let them happen without some sort of plan. Update 1, January 30th, 2024. I took a lot of advice from my original post. Just felt like I should update things on here and get some advice in turn. Christmas went unexpectedly well, but not for the reasons one would think. I ended up not saying anything harsh to my mother. I stayed with my grandparents as long as I could then made the three-hour drive up to mother and stepdad. My stepdad's family has always been so kind and treated me like family, so I enjoyed going over there and spending time with them. My mother and stepdad left the get-together early on Christmas Eve.

Come to find out, my sister had opened all of her gifts earlier that day before I got there. When she realized she didn't get everything she wanted, she took a couple of my presents and threw them in the pool. Luckily I asked for a lot of cat toys for my cats, and those are the things she threw in and they were fine after they dried. I spent the night with my mother and stepdad while my sister stayed with her aunt and cousins, and I opened my presents peacefully on Christmas morning before heading to see my dad. All things considered, it was a nice holiday compared to the others we've had. What comes after is unfortunately not an improvement. It seems like my sister's behavior is on a steady decline.

For some context, last year my sister messaged me with a picture of her with a fat lip saying our mom hurt her. I was so angry, I called her aunt to pick her up and told her she was not allowed to go back and if they had a problem I would call the cops. When talking to my mother she had a severe black eye where my sister had attacked her. I didn't care who started it, I just thought it should never have had to escalate to that. She spent the summer with her aunt, CPS investigated and found no abuse in the home. Both my mom and sister went to therapy. My sister wanted to go back to her parents before school started.

Now, presently, my sister has learned that she can abuse our mom and get away with it. I have gotten three phone calls where I've seen my mom with black eyes, scratches, or marks from my sister. I've witnessed her snatch a wig off my mother's head and ripped her hair out. My mother lacks confidence because her husband insults her on the daily, and my sister will destroy anything that could bring her confidence. I've witnessed her poor Starbucks into my mom's makeup bag, cut her wig, etc. She's thrown glass mugs at my mother too. The last phone call I got from my mother was her with another black eye, and she said that my stepdad tried to spank my sister but she just rolled her eyes.

Apparently he took her phone away too, but only for two hours. My stepdad does not stand up for my mother, and she has no power and no money to enforce over my sister's head. My sister says they can't do anything either, or she'll call CPS on them. When my mother called me this last time I basically just shrugged and told her I didn't know what else to tell her. Sent her to boot camp, a mission trip, turn off her phone, something. But it's all things I've said before. I've toyed with the idea of getting the law involved, but how seriously do they take child

to parent abuse? Wipta if I did that? Any advice is appreciated, and thanks for reading my vet. post. Edit, going no contact is almost impossible. I owe my entire life to my grandparents and if I go no contact with my mom slash stepdad the burden falls onto my grandmother, who I'm sure my mom would hound to get to me. I am taking steps to go low contact, though. Edit 2, just found out my sister's aunt, my stepdad's sister, was told about the abuse from my mom. My aunt would like to hold a meeting and intervention with the whole family, me and the parents included. I will not be part of the

disciplining process, but I absolutely will be giving my two cents on everything. Come to find out it's my aunt paying for my sister's very expensive school, and she's now threatening to pull her from that school if she does not agree to a six-week anger management outpatient thing. My sister is incredibly snobby and has said before she'd rather die than go to public school. She also loves her cheerleading team. I will keep updating. Comments where Op has replied. Soroli Ntie, but get your mom to put up hidden nanny cams in her house so the next time your half-sister hurts her, it's on camera. And when half-sister pulls the CPS bullshit again, your mom will have footage in case she does call them.

She can also take the footage to the police and press charges. Maybe juvenile detention or jail will teach the spoiled brett she can't just get away with everything. Upp I've been telling my mom to record her, at least what she says in voice memos, but my sister gets my mom in such a tizzy she forgets to do it in the moment. I have a couple of recordings, but just if her being insanely brady and mouthy. Nothing legally incriminating sadly. A secret can might do the trick if I can convince my mom to put it up. Sike Brook 3. It sounds like your mother is desperate for your help.

Maybe even a way out, even if that only means a roof and four walls. Upp I have tried to help as much as I can between my means. She doesn't want the advice or solutions I give her. She doesn't want to bring up the problem to anybody or do anything drastic, which I realize is also a pattern of abuse but there isn't anything else I can do. I called CPS before and they found no abuse. If I called the cops they'd all pretend like everything was fine. Penguin in a jacket this is really just a sad situation.

The only way I can really see to fix this is to have your mother and stepdad divorce to just sever the tie of your awful step-sister or send her to a camp but it's very unlikely. The way you're feeling is very real your burnout of trying to put out fire on someone else's house. Unfortunate but not your problem. Your mother's getting beaten by a child and your stepdad wants a brat to like him before he dies. If you can't step away from the situation at least protect yourself emotionally. and understand that really, Terese, nothing you specifically can do to fix other people OOP through therapy I've begun the process of peeling away emotionally. I will always have sympathy and compassion for my family, for anyone, but I've realized there's

nothing more I can do. I've come to terms with the fact I might have to always keep this part of my family at arm's length to truly be able to breathe. These are the final steps to keeping it that way until they change something. The sad part is my mom had made changes by leaps and bound she's quit alcohol, quit abusing her pills, gone to psychotherapy and gotten her bipolar under control and stuck she is so much more controlled and my sister and stepfather bring out the worst in her still, for their benefit. A valancade if you're in the States many states have elder abuse laws. It sounds like stepdad qualifies. Not sure about mom. In FL, it's a felony. Oh, O. P. if I got them involved my stepdad and mom would play dumb and deny everything. They're too

embarrassed to bring shame upon themselves from what they've raised sadly. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Found out my wife cheated on me with a friend of mine, now her life is a mess, as my kid kids informed me. I, 35, was married to my ex-wife 35, for 10 years. The two of US got married straight out of high school. People warned us against it, telling us it was way too soon and we should just wait. Finish college first, start a career, and then see where we were at was what they wanted us to do. Me being a fool and love meant that I didn't care what any of them had to say. We had been dating since sophomore year of high school so I thought I knew everything and found my forever person. My wife at the time seemed to be on the same page. So, we got married and went to the same

college. The two of us lived in married-coupled housing which was helpful for us. Even though we were busy with college, I felt that our marriage was at its strongest in college. After we graduated, we got our apartment and jobs in our chosen fields. Things from there still seemed great. Slowly we were building our future. The people who had been against us in the beginning and warned us against marriage were wrong. They had since come to support us. Her family was like my second family, so after marrying her I did gain a lot more family members. It was about a year and a half before our 10th anniversary when I noticed something was going on with my wife. She was more distant and didn't want me to ever touch her. I attributed it to me working a lot

lately and just being very busy. I decided to make it up to her by planning a romantic night. She ended up not coming home that night and used the excuse that she was staying with a friend. Like I said, I had no reason not to believe or trust her, so I assumed she was telling the truth. The closer we got to our 10th anniversary, the more it continued. My wife was even more indifferent to me than ever and was hardly home. It was at this point I realized the chances of her having an affair was high, so I used one of those Apple Air tags. I was ashamed to use it, but I had to find out.

Instead of going to a friend's house like she said, she was across town in the opposite direction. I drove there and waited for her to come out. She did come out arm and arm with some heavily tattooed and pierced guy. Compared to my straight-laced self who always played by the rules it was quite a shock. I took a video and quietly drove home. When she got home I didn't say anything and just played the video for her. After the shock wore off, she started yelling at me for planning an air tag in her car and following her.

It was creepy apparently. The logic she was spewing was just very hard to follow. I just waited until she quieted and asked why. My wife claimed she needed someone more exciting and not as boring as I was. Working hard to provide a good life for us wasn't what she wanted. I pointed out that by working so much I was able to help us afford a nice house, car, etc., but my wife just told me she wanted more. If what she wanted was something more than I was fine with that.

True to her word, my wife wanted out as quickly a as possible. With me being the breadwinner, she could have gotten a lot of money and spousal support out of me. However, she seemed more focused on the ink being dry on the divorce papers than anything else. She wanted so badly to be with her precious app who was her true soulmate. I was just a stop along the way to finding him her words and not mine. If that's what she wanted then fine. The agreement ended up with me getting the house, dog, and more than half the money in the joint account. I was shocked that all she wanted was the car to be paid off completely and no alimony. I guess my ex wanted a complete break for me which was why she agreed to such a clean split.

Did it hurt? Yeah, of course it did, but if that was how she wanted it then so be it. It was probably better for me as well to get a clean break. From the day our divorce was final, I had no contact with her because I saw no reason why I should continue to have her in my life. However, we did have mutual friends and I still kept in contact with some of her family members so I was still privy to certain things that were going on in her life. The app or the new love of her life was gone within a year of the divorce. He dumped her for someone else, which sent her into a tailspin.

Since she had been staying at his place, it left her with no place to go. My ex couldn't go back to her parents because they had disowned her pretty much, and still talked to me to this day. Last I heard, my ex-wife had been living in a small apartment with her sister and the new love of her life. She's working two jobs to make ends meet and is in debt. Had she pushed for more during our divorce, then she would have had more money as well as alimony to fall back on. I mean, I wasn't complaining, but if she had been thinking with her head instead of her, she would have been better off. To make it weirder, her new boyfriend has the same name as me. I'm not sure how to feel about that so I choose not to think of it very often or at all.

It just seems a little taboo to date someone with the same name as your ex. Like you wouldn't date someone that had the same or similar name of a family member so why one with the same name as your ex-husband? It just didn't make sense to me, but when it came to my ex, there were a lot of things I didn't understand and would probably never understand either. She was my past anyway, so I didn't need to worry myself sick when it came to my ex-wife. It's been a few years since our divorce and while my ex-wife's life has been a downward spiral, mine has been great. I got remarried about three years ago and the two of us are currently having our first child. Trusting another woman was difficult for me so it took me a while to even think

about dating again. My now wife was very patient, however, and was willing to wait for me as long as she needed. Eventually, I felt ready to date again and it led to a second marriage. I have even reached a level of success. My wife and I managed to sell the old house I had with my ex, buy a bigger one, and even have savings to spare. Both of us had lucrative careers, though my wife planned to go on maternity leave once the baby was born. If my ex knew about my new life, then she is yet to reach out to me. I doubt she ever will, which suits me fine. There is no need for her to ever speak again, but sometimes I do wonder if she regrets having an affair and hurrying through a divorce so she could be with her app. Chances are my ex regrets it, but what comes

around goes around. For my ex, truer words had never been spoken.