Reddit Stories - SECRETLY Captured_ UNVEILING My Spouse's Betrayal in a Month-long REVELATION_

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #secretlycaptured #unveiling #spousebetrayal #monthlongrevelation #betrayaldiscovery  Summary: Discover a gripping tale of betrayal as a spouse's deceit is slowly revealed over a month, captured secretly and unveiled in a shocking revelation.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, secretlycaptured, unveiling, spousebetrayal, monthlongrevelation, betrayaldiscoveryBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Covertly gathered proof of my spouse's indiscretions over a span of one month prior to surprising her with legal separation documents. Presently, her mother is upset with me. My 29-year-old spouse, whom I have been married to for seven years, was involved. Cheated on me with one of her longtime friends in mid-July. I discovered text messages back and forth between them after getting suspicious and finally checking her phone. The texts I read were from a day after D-Day about how good their love-making, Seggs, was, I love you, and even discussing a mild fight we had where she recounted things I said and they both laughed about it.

I tried to explain that we may be entering a new stage of marriage where we are comfortable and complacent, it might feel a little boring but maybe that's just how things get once you're married for more than a few years. But she is convinced that is wrong and we've drifted apart. despite spending our days together full of good conversation, good sex, etc. She doesn't know that I know. I've talked to a lawyer and have divorced papers in the works. Note this is the second time she did this. The first time she cheated when we were dating.

We had a six-month split, worked things out, got back together and later married. On the rare occasions we talk about her past infidelity I've told her if she ever does it again, we're done. We've been fine for six years with no problems. About a year ago she began getting a little colder and wouldn't accept my affection. Things like she didn't hug me back at all. I guess this distance culminated in her affair. Fast forward to today, I've known for three weeks and have been waiting for paperwork before confronting her. At first she was clearly not interested in me, but this week she seems to be feeling more guilty about her actions, and a little more interested in me.

She has been trying to do what she can to make up for her actions in her own way. All without us never talking about it. Like washing dishes, cleaning, cooking, all while refusing any help. It's like she is punishing herself. In my mind she has completely betrayed me and I can no longer trust her. She has caused me such pain and cannot possibly love me if she is able to do all that. Financially we have been okay but struggled a bit because she doesn't. doesn't want to work. She is finally working for a year but it's a minute wage part-time job

and barely covers her bills. I feel like I have to pull all the weight and she is not really my equal. At the same time I still care about her, value the life we built, and woof all will worry about what will happen to her. I think she could easily into a deep depression there is really only one way forward and that is divorce. But I am worried about how she will take it and it will be hard to resist taking her back. I almost wish she would happily leave with her new person. I know I have to divorce her, but not looking forward to the heartbreak, loneliness, and whatever else I can't even predict. How do I do this? I found out about my wife cheating and haven't confronted her yet. I want to get everything set up and ready before I do. In an effort

to do so, I was able to download a complete text message as log of her conversation with AP. Holy Jesus she is way more effed up than I thought. So I originally thought she began cheating in July but nope. Not only did her affair begin in May, but from March to May she had another affair, this one involving unprotected segs with a jerk addict. So the grand total of cheating is four dudes now. On to the current AP. She established his support by lying to him about our relationship.

She told him I insult her and I mean, which is not true at him. all. This gave him justification. So he began manipulating her, telling her she deserves better, that I'm a piece of crap, I'm a child, all kinds of stuff. He actually fancied himself a relationship coach. He would listen to her complaints about me and tell her how I would respond or the reason I did that. The person she is cheating with, telling her how to handle her relationship, what the F. The thing she was mad about, I had no idea they bothered her, she never told me. Remember, he has never met me, yet he thinks he can predict all my behavior. This guy prides himself on his control over others, he bragged about it.

He thinks he's some relationship master, it's ridiculous. He is a church minister. He bragged about how he helps a teen group get closer to God, in one instance he bragged how he helped a teenager break up with his GF, and then did a good job consoling the GF because she was then suicidal. So she has fallen for this good guy act, total manipulation, hook line, and sinker. He refers to her living with me as prison, and calls me the idiot. While I am the one who hugs her, who pays her bills, who happily greets her when she gets home from work, who values her above all others. I do have to come clean. I value self-improvement very much and believe

PPL should always be striving to improve. But she has not improved at all over the last 10 years. She is overweight, dropped out of college, working a mid-wage part-time job. Years ago I tried to get her to improve, asked her to go to the gym with me, do a sport, anything. But she refused. She was unemployed for four years while I paid her student loan and alarmingly high credit debt. I asked her to find a job every week, she never did. I asked her to go to school, I'd pay, she can study anything she wants. She never went. After a few years of requesting her to work on herself, I slowly got frustrated to where I began

criticizing her for her lack of effort. Sometimes I was so frustrated with it I was mean about it. This was very wrong of me. I stopped all my criticizing a few years ago. Before her affairs began. She truly loved me even when I was still meanly criticizing, yet now that I'm not, she didn't love me. My criticizing didn't come from a place of hate,

I believe that a marriage is partnership that should be equal. That she should be my equal, I wanted to help her gain equality in our relationship, but she didn't want it. I think we are supposed to be able to lean on each other for support, yet she leaned on me only. Now that I'm in school and need some support, she has completely fallen apart which manifests in affairs and resentment. All without addressing her issues with me. She has a problem with me, she brings it to AP, and he tells her what I will probably say.

She told her mom about her affair and tried to say how bad I was to her, but she didn't believe my wife. My wife got angry that her mom wasn't on her side. Complained about it to her affair. A.P. who quickly took her side and rationalized her mom's stance. My wife is looking for someone to agree with her, to justify the awful things she's done to me. She feels shame and hides it by convincing herself how terrible a person I am. She has very little emotional intelligence and barely pays attention to me, can't read me at all, yet she is an open book to me. Her mental image of me is not at all who I really am. She is stuck on the person I used to be, but I've changed a lot over the last few years.

But she never noticed. She won't leave me because she knows she has it super cush with me. She told AP if she leaves me she has nothing. I am a busy student so I don't have tons of time to give her attention like I used to. I think this is what triggered the cheating. If anything else challenges her as a priority for me, she goes wildly unstable. So here we are today, I've read all her crap. She still has no idea I am aware of her despicable ways.

I have divorced papers coming Wednesday and counting the minutes until I can blow up her world. I was going to try to do things nicely, but now after reading it all, I want to go scorched earth. I want her to really understand the depth of her horrible behavior. I posted last week I was not looking forward to it, but now I am. I can't wait to read her text with AP back to her and show her just how effed up it is. I can't wait to point out all the obvious manipulation AP has done with her. I am looking for support for my situation and possible solutions to a dilemma. We have a dog that she is obsessed with like a child and will fight tooth and nail four,

but neither of us has money to fight it over in court. So how can I keep my dog without incurring 30k in court slash lawyer fees? Yes, she is crazy enough to do that over the dog. I am thinking I can somehow serve her papers and leave with my stuff and the dog same day before she gets the papers. Problem there is that I live at school, which I need to be back for in September there is a lot more to this, but the texting with AP is like literally 100 pages, so this is very condensed. Update 2, I guess I got ahead of myself with that three-day countdown. The papers took a lot longer than I was told.

Well, now I have them and all the pieces are starting to fall in. into place. I am planning to have her served a week from today, but as we all know, things may not play out exactly as planned. My soon-to-be ex-wife still has no idea that I've discovered her cheating over a month ago and have been planning for our separation. I have been living with her and acting like nothing is wrong for this whole time. And she is completely oblivious. It has actually been difficult to not catch her. I've seen her texting him and would have caught her 15 times over at this point. She never even changed her password, and she still talks about him like he is just a friend of hers. It can be hard to keep my cool when she is talking about him,

but I do what I have to do. Sometimes I feel like secretly plotting against her to pull the rug out from under her is wrong. Not wrong to do to her, but immoral for me to do something like this, regardless of who is on the receiving end. Some days it is difficult to hide that I am angry with her about what she did. Some days it feels like some weird dream I'm living in. We had a big fight about our relationship, in which I was able to call her out on lots of her poor choices without giving up the fact that I know about everything.

I told her she didn't love me and that I haven't been important to her for a long time. That was a week ago and I have been using that big fight as a cover. So now if I am angry or cold, she thinks it is because of that big fight we had. I was the only thing holding our relationship together, and now that I know about her infidelity, I have no reason to put in any effort. As a result, our relationship has drastically fallen apart. I explained all this to her and it seems she realized it was true. Since that fight she seems to have chosen me over her affair partner.

This is obviously not how it should be, she chose me when we got married, so there should not even be a choice to be made here. She has been putting more effort into showing me attention and communicating. She wants to make things work. But from my perspective, way too little, way too late. There is nothing she can do to change the situation she put us in. She made her bed now she has to lie in it. This infidelity began because her position as the absolute center of my life was challenged, her large amount of attention from me, from which she derives happiness, was challenged. So she sought the attention elsewhere, rather than communicating with me. What I find truly hilarious is that the men she has chosen to have affairs with don't

treat her as number one either. One guy regularly ignored her for weeks, the other guy has an ex-wife and child that he even told her would always be his priority. He's even been seen around town with other girls. Remember that this guy is a youth pastor also. So she is not even number two to this guy, even though they tell each other how special their relationship is. He even told her he plans on moving to co-parent his kid with his ex. But none of that matters to her. How is she okay with that, but can't handle me focusing on school? As a response to our big fight, she decided she will be staying with her parents for a few weeks to clear her head. This makes things way easier for me, I don't have to worry about her refusing to leave or attacking me or any other crazy things she may do.

She already has plans to come back. Still does she know I have arranged for her to get divorced papers served the day after she gets to her parents. So I have a week to go, and it can't be over soon enough. As much as I want it to be over, it means this is also the last. I will ever see my dog. It really sucks. We are super attached. But I have no hope of keeping him, there are some special circumstances that I don't want to explain, but it's basically impossible for me to keep him. I am going to miss him a lot. Update 3, it has been a long month. I wanted to call her out so badly, it was on the tip of my tongue. But I never did because it

would make things difficult for me. So I hit the gym, lawyered up, got papers drafted, collected over 450 pages of explicit messaging, set up a new debit account ready to transfer her funds, and convinced her to take some time at her parents' house. Everything, and I mean everything went to plan, I even predicted the exact reaction her and family would have. I froze her credit card with my name and transferred half our money to the new debit account as soon as I heard the papers were delivered. She left yesterday with her mom, I just gave her a hug and said take care of yourself. She said okay. This morning a process server arrived at her parents' home

and delivered the papers. She had no idea I knew what she was doing, her parents claimed they had no idea about anything. She got completely blindsided and was apparently hysterical. I say hysterical because, get this, I still haven't talked to her. Yep, her mom called me and I had to explain the situation to her. Just higher level details though. Even in a situation like this, her mom is trying to solve the problems for her. It's absolutely ridiculous. I can't even discuss my personal relationship with my wife privately.

This is a 29-year-old woman who is letting her mom mediate and talk on her behalf. Although I did have a good relationship with my mother-in-law, and she did push my wife. to work on our marriage, I find this so beyond idiotic of them both. I handled everything with tact, kept my composure, and didn't let my emotions do the talking. I had to really bite my lip, though. My mother-in-law, in discussing getting her wife's things, was using language that implied I was responsible for getting her stuff back to her. Instead I packed the stuff, rent a car, and drive the four hours to deliver it.

The stuff in question is mostly t-shirts and lotion bottles. So I told her it is not my responsibility. She comes back with if you respect me so much like you say, you would do me the favor. Oh man, not only is she getting way too far into our business, but she is going to try to manipulate me. I just said that has nothing to do with this, and I could say the same thing to you. Please don't attempt to manipulate me again. I'm already giving you lots of respect here by keeping a lot of issues off the table. I can decide to bring it to court and prove infidelity, costing us both a lot of money,

I can claim theft of our dog, I can give evidence to her AP's employer which will get him fired from his youth pastor position, and others. I'm trying to make this as affordable and simple as possible. She backed down and will be picking up the stuff. Now I have to wait for them to make a move. I'm guessing they are trying to hire a lawyer and refute the dog ownership, which is the biggest fighting point, yet oddly not brought up. Her mom is probably comforting her and telling her that her multiple illicit affairs are okay. Stop dragging her husband through the mud,

talking crap about him whatever chance she gets. Even while still coming home at night and expecting love and affection, is all okay. Someone in another thread mentioned, she might have borderline personality disorder based on some stuff she's said. I think she does. Is it odd that they are so worried about such insignificant belongings right now? Yes. Is it odd my wife is not handling this with me? Yes. Should I refuse to deal with her mom? Maybe. Is my wife mentally unstable? Yes so. Do I let them come get her stuff? I don't really want to deal with that. I hate all of this. I am being straightforward and honest with them, and they are trying to pull some crap on me.

I hate that I might have to resort to twisting their arm. I hate that I have always been a meal ticket for my wife and just the idiot paying her bills to her parents. I hate that I can't even discuss this with her civilly and rationally like adult. I hate that her mom lied to me about not knowing her daughter had affairs. I hate that they are so confused by my act. I hate that I instinctively think of her and want to ask her what kind she wants. And I see ice cream at the store. But most of all I hate how even now I am the bad guy to them.

Update 4. Two years after divorce. I noticed a few messages asking how everything eventually turned out with my situation. In a nutshell, good. It was a clean break. Absolutely zero communication, no issue. whatsoever. She moved on, I moved on. That's it. Was essentially a very expensive breakup. The single one thing that SS is I had to give up my dog, but looks like he is still living happily with her. After the divorce I graduated, got a job, and moved. She moved to her parents' guest

bedroom and never moved out. She got a low-wage job and hasn't done a thing since. She is dating someone, that's all I know because she has me blocked even though I've never said a thing. I dated a couple of girls, found one that was extremely special and showed me love I didn't know existed. Then I proceeded to lose her. So I'm single and doing extremely well with dating, literally every single woman I met has been leads better than my ex-wife. But would like to be back with my recent G.F. love again. Such is life. Got a great job, doing very well financially, while she is 30-something living with her retired parents. So I guess I came out on top and relatively enscathed.

Update 5, so it has been four years since I found out about my ex-wife having multiple secret affairs. She was able to do so without much suspicion because I gave her the respect of privacy and was busy working through a degree at an Ivy League school, while also paying all the rent, bills, food, and both of our student loans. A lot of the confusion and anger I faced, and most PPL posting here Prob feel currently, has been cleared. In fact, I don't care about my ex-wife at all, I care more about more recent exes who showed me more kindness. But there is still a mystery to me, why someone would cheat when they are with someone that is out of their league. This is not something I knew at the time, but has been repeatedly pointed out to me in countless ways and sometimes directly by others. Why she cheated will probably always be a mystery.

I am well above average looking, I was always home at night spending my free time with her, I am highly educated, physically fit, no mental illness, decently charismatic, and set up for a very good career. We got along well, and had a lot in common. On paper it seemed like, many boxes were checked. Obviously there are many intangible aspects that determine why someone cheats, but I occasionally dwell on this question, laugh to myself, and move on with my day. I have since dated a handful of women, all lovely and interesting people who have helped me fully understand just how crap my ex-wife was as a person. Since she was one of the first PPL I dated in high school, I didn't have much comparison. Oh and all those affair partners

she was hopelessly confessing her undying love for. Long gone. So here I am four years later. Leaving my past long behind, I have rebuilt my life from the ground up. Next week is my two-year anniversary with my lovely, caring, intelligent, and beautiful girlfriend. She is the kind of partner I always deserved, and I make sure she knows how much I appreciate her every day. She's even got a job that she's good at and pays her well.

We have an apartment next to the river and a goofy dog. My career and finances are strong and well within upper middle class territory. No debt, no alimony, and no contact. On a few occasions I have thought about her and realized I don't hate her anymore. I don't wish harm nor goodwill towards her. I just don't care. Okay well, maybe I hope things generally don't work out for her. I can now say that I am much happier and better off by my decision to divorce my ex-wife.

So there is hope for all of you out there that are currently knee-deep in crap, trying to make it through the day. Have faith in yourself to come out the other side as a wiser and stronger person.