Reddit Stories - Secrets Unveiled Betrayal in the Family ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 76

Episode Date: April 16, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayal #familydrama #secretsrevealed #emotionalstories #compilationSummary: Episode 76 of "Secrets Unveiled" delves into family betrayals, revealing shocking secrets that test relationships. This over three-hour compilation showcases real-life stories that highlight the complexities of trust and loyalty within families, leaving viewers questioning their own experiences and the nature of familial bonds.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, familysecrets, emotionalconflict, trustissues, relationshipdrama, storytelling, realstories, familybetrayal, secretsunveiled, personalnarratives, lifechallenges, emotionaljourney, humanexperience, familydynamics, conflictresolution, viewerengagementBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse missed our boys' celebration for a work appointment, but his colleague left a message mentioning he was at a motel with his assistant. Therefore, when I departed him, his father threatened to disown him unless he won me back. Two days back, I celebrated my son's fifth birthday and his father, Alex, decided to bail at the very last minute. He called me up an hour before all the guests were supposed to start arriving, and told me that he had a very important client meeting that he simply could not miss and we would

just have to have the party without him. I tried to talk to him, but he made it clear that he didn't have time to discuss this, so there was not much that I could do. Our son, Carson, was very upset that his dad wouldn't be there, but after his friend started arriving, he seemed to cheer up. So I decided that I could speak to Alex when he came back home and decided to focus on the party itself. Everything was going smoothly, but then, I accidentally got a cut so I had to get a band-aid for it. I went into Alex's home office, because that's where we keep the first aid kit. Once I was in there, I noticed that there was a new voicemail notification on the display screen of the phone and it was from Alex's workwife. Let's call her Leanne. She and Alex have been

childhood best friends and she is also the head of HR and his company, and even she and I are quite good friends. So I decided to hear the voicemail out, and it was the shock of a lifetime. She told me that she knew that Alex had said he was going to skip his son's birthday party because he had an important client meeting, but that was all a lie. The client he was meeting was his new secretary, and they were getting a hotel room together. Apparently, this affair had been going on for quite some time, and she had been trying to get him to stop. He had kept promising her that he would break up with her, but he never did, and she felt too guilty to keep this a secret anymore. She told me that she felt like she owed it to me to tell me the truth,

because she knew that I would probably do the same for her if I knew something about her husband. And she was right, I definitely would tell her. So now, she had finally decided to tell me the truth because she had personally seen his secretary get into his car in the parking lot, and when she confronted him about it, he begged her not to talk about it and said that he was going to break up with her. But for one last time, he wanted to take her out and treat her well and then drop the bomb. Until now, though, this had happened so many times that she knew very well that he was not going to break up with her, he was just going to hook up and this would continue. So now, she felt like she absolutely had to tell me so I could take the necessary steps.

After hearing that voicemail, I decided to bring my father-in-law into the room. He was there for the party anyway, so I got him to excuse himself, and then I made him listen to the entire thing again. I immediately told him that I was going to file for divorce and he could do whatever he thought was fit, but I just thought about telling him first because I know he's a very upright man, he used to be a federal judge before he retired and now it's up to him. He wants to do with his son. I was speaking out of emotions, obviously, I knew that there was not much that he could do because this was a grown man that we were talking about. But anyway, for the direction of the of the party, I maintained my cool but afterwards, I started packing whatever little I could,

and I left the house with my son. Since then, I haven't gone back. That day, he happened to be late, so I couldn't confront Alex personally, but late at night. When he called me up to ask me what was going on, I told him everything, and he said that Leanne was lying. But I know Leanne personally, she's always been a good friend to me and I don't think she would lie about something like this. so I told him that I don't believe him and he hung up without saying anything else. After that, we did not speak, and I started talking to lawyers and had my parents help me out. But two days ago, he called me up again. And he told me that I need to come back and sort things out with him because crap is about to hit the fan now.

Apparently, after I left the house, his father gave him an ultimatum. And he told him that he could either bring me back home and make everything right, or he would disown him. or else his entire inheritance, it was going to come to me and his grandson. We are talking about a fortune here, and even though Alex makes good money, it's nowhere close to what he has in store as inheritance. And after speaking to him, I realized that he was only trying to fix things now, because he thought that all that money was going to slip out of his hands. So I hung up on him, called my father-in-law, and I told him that I was not going back

so he might as well start preparing to leave the inheritance to me and my son. And now, everything is extremely chaotic. But my parents think that this is not the right thing to do and want me to go back on my word, because I'm not entitled to his dad's money under any circumstances whatsoever. And accepting this sort of deal would make me a gold digger. I don't agree with them, so I'd offer telling my father-in-law that I'm not going back to his son and he might as well leave his son's inheritance to me and his grandson. Update 1. I just want to thank everybody who took out time to comment on my post.

It really means a lot to me, especially right now, because I'm going through a lot. I have a lot of things to address, so I guess I'll start with Leanne. A lot of people thought that it was questionable that I had decided to trust Leanne blindly, especially when she herself had confessed that she had been keeping this a secret for Alex for a while now. I can totally understand why most people would not trust her, but at the end of the day, she has known Alex far longer than she has known me. They have been friends since they were kids, so naturally. it must have been very difficult for her to accept the fact that Alex had turned out to be a cheat.

And if I had been in her place, I probably would have been in a dilemma as well, about whether I should tell his wife or not. But ultimately, I would have made the right decision and so did she. And I think I have more to be grateful to her for, because at the end of the day, if she didn't tell me, nobody else would have. I spoke to her in person as well, because I really wanted to know if she had any proof or anything. because I have been with this man for the past eight years, we've been married for six years and even have a five-year-old son together. I don't want to throw all of that away over a doubt or a

suspicion. I want to know for sure that he's cheating, because otherwise, it would be me who would be looking like an ignorant fool. And she told me she knew that I would ask for proof, so she had been collecting lots of it over the past couple of months. She sent me a bunch of screenshots, where she was telling Alex that he needed to stop seeing the secretary, and he kept promising her that he would break up with her. There were at least six to seven screenshots, and it was clear that he was not denying anything. The fact that he was saying that he would break up with her,

it was as good as an admission of guilt for me. On top of that, there were at least 10 to 12 pictures of them together. Some of them in Alex's car, some of them in his office, some work events. All of them were a little hazy, and it was clear. that they had been clicked secretly from behind objects and walls, but they were there, they existed, and they were proof of what was going on. In all these pictures, it was clear that they were not speaking to each other as co-workers. They were smiling, giggling, chatting, and in each of the pictures, she was clinging onto him like a leech. And he was allowing it too, in fact, he seemed happy to be

there with her. Leanne even sent me a video, just to convince me more, if the screenshots and pictures did not do the trick. It was in the parking lot, the two of them were sitting in Alex's car, and they were giggling about something. He tucked her hair behind her ears, something he does only to me, and then there was a little peck on the lips. That was all that I needed to see to confirm what I already knew, that Leanne was telling the truth. This whole conversation had happened in person. I had asked her out for lunch a couple of days ago, the day after I spoke to my father-in-law. Because I had been feeling very guilty about my decision to tell my father-in-law that he should leave everything to me and my son. And my parents were not being helpful about it at

all. They were guilt-tripping me even more. So I felt like I was going crazy, and I needed to talk to Leanne and I needed to get some evidence of what was going on, I couldn't just take her word for the truth. And I'm glad that I did, because this is definitely going to help me with the divorce. After speaking to her, she tried to apologize to me, but I told her that it would be for the best if we kept our distance for now because even though she had told me the truth, she had taken her own sweet time to do so. And I can't imagine if, in case, Alex had decided to stop seeing the receptionist after the first few meetings, then she probably wouldn't have told me about it anyway because she was

of the belief that what I did not know could not hurt me. At least that's what she had believed so far, which is why she hadn't told me. She seemed a little upset that I did not want to talk to her, but she did not push it. So yes, in short, she had been telling me the truth. And I did not doubt that for a second, I did not have any reason to. Like I said, even though she had been friends with Alex from when they were kids, in the past few years, we had also become very close. She's always been nice to me, so I know that she would not lie to me and that's why I had

trusted her so blindly and I knew that I hadn't done the wrong thing. Anyway, that being said, it just gave me confidence that I was doing the right thing with regards to Alex and his inheritance. My parents are still very unhappy about it. It has been a couple of days since I told my father-in-law that I would appreciate it if he went ahead and changed his will to leave everything to me and his grandson. And since then, my parents have turned very cold towards me, since I haven't done what they expected me to do, and I'm going to accept this. And after all, why shouldn't I? I don't even understand why they think that I should worry about being considered a gold digger,

because as far as I am concerned, I'm only trying to secure my and my son's future. Alex was the one who talked me into quitting my job and raising our son when he was born, and now that we are getting divorced, I'm pretty sure that he will fight to make sure that I don't get the alimony or the child's support that I deserve. I know he's going to make sure that the divorce happens on his terms, and knowing how stingy he is, it's quite possible. The guy couldn't even let me work and hire a nanny because it was going to be too expensive, even though he was in a good position at work.

So even I'm going to look out for myself, and I'm going to make sure that I get what I deserve, by hook or by crook. Of course, I am upset about everything, but I'm going to be sad later. Right now, I only have time to be angry and let that fuel me because I really don't have any sympathy to spare for anyone else. I have been with this man for so many years, given our relationship and marriage my all and he couldn't take any of that into account before going ahead and having an affair with his secretary, who seems to be significantly younger than him as well.

We have a son together, we have been raising him together for five years now, and he couldn't even take that into account. He was selfish, through and through, and now, I don't understand why my parents think that I shouldn't be the same way. Maybe in an idealistic world, I would be the bigger person, but here, I'm really not interested in being the bigger person, I'm only interested in having the bigger payout. I simply refuse to be made a fool out of, like this, and then walk away empty-handed. Of course, I know that practically speaking, it's going to be impossible for him to make sure that I don't get what I deserve in the divorce, but I know he's still going to try. Somehow, though, it just doesn't feel enough, and I feel like I deserve the inheritance.

It's fine if my parents don't feel the same way, but in no way are they entitled to tell me what I deserve or what I don't. I will leave that up to my father-in-law, and so far, he hasn't responded so I'm only trying to play my cards right for now. Update 2, hey, so I moved out of my parents' place yesterday, with the help of a couple of friends. I'm staying with a friend of mine, until all of this blows over, and then I'm going to start looking for a new apartment. Of course, I am splitting the rent with her, and I even offered to pay my parents for the couple of days that I stayed with them. Under usual circumstances, I wouldn't have done that, but honestly, for the past few days, they have been so cold and distant towards me that I felt

like I had to. I did not feel comfortable accepting any sort of help from them, but it really felt like they were doing me a huge favor by letting me stay with them, even though they did not agree with what I was doing. At a time like this, I really feel like they should be supporting me, instead of making me feel alienated and isolated. But let alone support me, they have to be. They have a time like this. They have hardly even spoken to me ever since I had that conversation with my father-in-law, and I told him that I would like to have the inheritance that he was leaving behind for his son. So naturally, it was getting really awkward to stay with them, and I felt like I had to move out. Otherwise, I could have continued staying with my parents, because they have been a great help

with my son as well. Unfortunately, I don't want to stay in a place where I am not wanted, and they have made it very clear. Anyway, my friend has been gracious enough to let me stay with her, even though I have to pay rent, and I also have to pay for a nanny, because I'm going to be very busy for the next couple of weeks. The divorce was filed earlier this week, and I'm guessing that he will be served in a few days. I haven't heard from anybody who is a part of his life, definitely not him, not Leanne, and not even his father. At this point, I'm very confused as to whether my father-in-law even meant it when he said that he was

going to leave everything to me and my son instead of my husband, or if that was just an empty threat for Alex. But regardless, that's not going to influence my decision to get divorced, I'm pretty determined about that part. In my divorce petition, I have definitely asked for alimony, and child support as well because it's going to take me a while to find a job, and even though I have started applying, it's not like everyone is dying to hire somebody who has been out of the job market for five years now. So I have no idea how or when I'm going to get a job and even then, I don't know if in the beginning, it will be enough to support myself and my son. I think I'm being completely fair by asking for alimony and child support, even though I am

fine with sharing child custody. Personally, I think that I have been completely fair in the petition, because I'm still holding on to the hope that my father-in-law might help us out. But other than that, I don't want to get caught up in a long-drawn, legal battle, in case that does not happen. Anyway, it's going to be very difficult for me to pay for the lawyer because I'm going to have to dip into my savings. I can't exactly ask for anyone else's help. I would have asked my parents, and they would have readily helped me out, but right now, given the situation, I guess it's pretty clear why I don't want to do that. So that's why I'm keeping things clean, at least legally, and I really hope that he does not contest or change anything either, because that's going

to lead to more mediation and that's literally the last thing I want. I'm yet to hear from him, so I'm hoping for the best right now. Update 3. Okay, so unfortunately, Alex decided to be as stingy as he had always been, and he decided to disagree with the terms of my petition. Like I had said, I was being completely fair, I was not asking for an exorbitant amount of alimony, or even child support, even though I could have definitely asked for it. But he doesn't feel like him being, and that's why he has changed it and reduced it significantly, to an amount where I can barely live off of it. But for some reason, he thinks that it's fair enough, and I can't even understand how he gets

the audacity to do something like this, especially after cheating on me, ruining our marriage, and then not even having the decency to apologize. The last conversation that we had, he was just begging me to come back and sort things out with him, because he believed that his father was going to give away his inheritance to me and his son and he couldn't have that happening. He wasn't even sorry for whatever he had done, he just wanted me back for that reason and nothing else. In spite of that, of how selfish he is, I still didn't try to be overly problematic with my petition. And yet, here he is, unable to appreciate that, and creating more problems for himself.

Of course I'm not going to back down, I'm going to drain away all my savings if that's what it takes, but I'm making sure that I get what I deserve. And right now, I am even considering filing for full custody of our son, because now that I think about it, ever since we left home, he hasn't even bothered to check up on his son. I can understand that he's been blocked, but if I was in his place, I would leave no stone unturned to see how my son was doing. I would use email, I would show up at my parents' house, would do whatever it took. but I guess I'm expecting too much from my father who decided to miss his son's fifth birthday, just so he could hook up with his mistress that very evening.

Anyway, I have decided that I'm going to speak to him in person, and I'm going to unblock him this evening. It's going to be very exhausting, I already know that, so I have already decided that I'm going to keep it as short as possible. And if he tries to pick a fight with me or if he tries to defend himself or whatever, I'm definitely just going to hang up because I don't have the kind of time and energy for that. I don't want to engage with him, but I just have to. I'm going to try to speak to him in person, knock some sense into him, and if that doesn't work, I still have my lawyer and we can deal with this in our mediation sessions.

So, wish me luck. Update 4. So I just got off a few phone calls, a couple of minutes ago, and I got to find out several things. When I unblocked him and started trying to call him, he didn't pick up for the first couple of minutes. and I thought that was very strange for somebody who had begged me to come back to him the last time that we had spoken. Granted, that had been quite a while ago, but still, anyway, when I called him, he picked up only after the fifth call.

And even then, he was very irritable on the other end. But I did not let that get in my way, I just told him that what I had asked for in my divorce petition had been quite fair, and I can't understand why he's doing this. Especially when he knows that he's wrong, he is the one who changed. cheated on me, this is the least he can do for me and our son. And I also reminded him, quite suddenly, that I have been kind enough not to file for full custody of our son, even though it would be perfectly justified for me to do so because he hasn't bothered to check up on his son even once since we left. He got mad at me, told me that I was using our son as a weapon,

and I had no right to do that, but I told him that given the fact that I have always been more responsible for him than he has, being the father, I think I have the right to do whatever I want at the moment. Because he is depriving both of us of what we deserve, and I'm just making sure that we get it. That part is definitely true. I don't just want alimony and child support for myself and my standard of living. I want it so I can have a better future for my son as well. But then, he told me that it's shocking how much of a gold digger I have turned out to become because apparently, his father's inheritance is not enough for me and I need to extract as much money as I can from him also. that threw me for a curveball, I had no idea what he was talking about, because I had had no

contact with my father-in-law. So I told him that that was just a conversation that we had had, and I might have encouraged it, but it's not like his father-in-law was actually going to go through with it. And then, he just laughed and hung up, and he told me to speak to him and find out what happened. Then, maybe I would be a little more fair to him and accept his terms. After that, he hung up before I could even say anything, and after some deliberation, I decided to call my father-in-law to find out exactly what was happening. He picked up and then, without wasting any time with small talk, I asked him directly about whatever Alex had said to me. And he confirmed it, he had changed the will, and Alex knew about it. So that made sense, as to why he was so bitter,

and he didn't want to agree to the alimony and child support thing as well, because he was already losing his inheritance to us. But of course, I had no idea about it, because I hadn't stayed in touch with my father-in-law. So I asked him, why exactly hadn't I been told anything about it, even though the change had been made? And he told me that he just didn't know how to approach me, because he was very upset about everything that had happened, and he had been waiting for me to contact him now since it had finally happened, he thought it was the right time to tell me that the change had been made. I was kind of taken aback, so I didn't know what to say, and he told me that he was really sorry about everything that had happened, and he was no longer on speaking terms with his son

as of now. But he still wanted to stay in touch with his grandson, and so, he told me that he would really appreciate it if I considered bringing him over to his place occasionally and allowing him to see the child, regardless of my equation with Alex. That's when I finally told him that he was welcome to see his grandson whenever he wanted, I was never going to stop him anyway. Neither was I going to stop Alex, because I knew that my son is very young, and he deserves to have everybody in his life.

Because at the end of the day, whatever my relationship with everyone else is, I know that everyone loves him. And I don't want to deprive him of that, so whoever wants to see him, they are more than welcome to stay in touch with him. Of course, that includes my father-in-law as well, and he seemed to be very happy after I had said that. He tried to apologize for Alex, but I told him that there was no need for him to do that, because that was between me and my soon-to-be ex-husband, he didn't need to feel too

responsible for anything. Then, I put my son on the phone with his grandpa. They had a small conversation and my son seemed very, very happy. That was it, and right now, even though I don't know how to feel about everything, I'm glad that I got to talk to him and figure things out for myself. To be honest, I don't know what I'm going to do right now. still need time to think about it. Update 5. Hey, so it's been a couple of weeks.

I decided to let the whole divorce disagreement go. I agreed with the terms in Alex's petition, because I spoke to his father, and he said that he was going to arrange a job for me, and in the meantime, he was going to help us all out financially because since his son had screwed up, it seemed fair that he helped us out. I tried to tell him that it was completely fine. I would go through the mediation and deal with it myself, but he told me that it was just going to cost me more money because Alex is not going to let this one go. He and his lawyer will do everything in their power to drag this out, and it'll just end up draining my savings, and he was right.

So I decided to take him up on his offer, and currently, he's helping us out financially. He has also spoken to a couple of places, since he has a lot of connections, and I am in the talks for jobs that I probably wouldn't have been able to have access to had it not been for him. So having him on my side has been very helpful, and I'm truly grateful. And I'm truly grateful. for everything that he's doing for us because even though it was Alex, who messed up, it's he who is making everything right again for me and my son. And I don't have words to thank him, it's really kind of him. Anyway, speaking of my son, I have agreed to partial custody and he's going to be seeing his

dad on the weekends. Since I have agreed to all the terms of the divorce, it's supposed to come through in a couple of months. As for my parents, I'm still not speaking to them, but I just don't really care about that. Right now, I'm only focused on making the future better and that's all. Thanks, everyone. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse opted for attending his former partner's marriage ceremony instead of celebrating our child's birthday, so I initiated the process for legal separation.

Later, I discovered that they were involved in a tragic car crash that resulted in the loss of their child, and I pledged to support them through this difficult time. Always be there for each other. My husband James and I have been married for three years and we have a son who just turned one last weekend. We had been planning his first birthday party for weeks and I was so excited because it was going to be small but special with just our families and a few close friends. About two weeks before the party James told me that his high school girlfriend Chelsea was getting married and the wedding was the same day as our son's birthday party. I thought he was just mentioning it and maybe feeling a little sad about missing it which I understood because they had did. dated for six to seven and during high school and stayed friends after. But then he said he wanted to go to the wedding and I was confused because obviously he

couldn't miss our son's first birthday for someone else's wedding even if they used to date. James said Chelsea had specifically invited him and that she really wanted him there because he was such an important part of her life and he felt like he owed it to her to be there on her special day. I told him that our son's first birthday was more important and that Chelsea would understand if he couldn't make it because he had family obligations. James got quiet and said he had already told Chelsea he would be there and he didn't want to back out now. I asked him if he was seriously considering missing our baby's first birthday party to go to his ex-girlfriend's wedding and he said it wasn't just any ex-girlfriend and that

Chelsea was different and I wouldn't understand. I asked him what he meant by that and he said they had a special connection and that she had been there for him during some really hard times in his life and he wanted to return the favor. I told him I didn't care about their special connection and that his wife and son should come first and he said I was being unreasonable and that the birthday party would be fine without him and that our son wouldn't even remember it anyway. I was so angry I couldn't even respond and I just walked away because I knew if I kept talking I would say something I would regret.

The next few days were tense and James kept bringing up the wedding and trying to convince me that it was really important for him to be there and that I should understand because Chelsea didn't have a lot of family and she really needed her friends there for support. I kept telling him that our son needed his father there for his first birthday and that I needed my husband there to help host the party and celebrate our child but James seemed more concerned about Chelsea's feelings than mine. James ended up going to the wedding and missing our son's birthday party completely. I had to explain to my parents and his parents why he wasn't there and I made up some excuse about him having a work emergency because I was too embarrassed to tell them

the truth. The party was nice and our son had fun, but I kept thinking about how James was at another woman's wedding instead of celebrating his own child's milestone. James came home around midnight and he was in such a good mood which made me even more angry. He started telling me all about the wedding and how beautiful Chelsea looked in her dress and how elegant the whole ceremony was and how much fun the reception was. He said Chelsea looked so happy and that she had thanked him multiple times for being there and that it meant the world to her that he came. I asked him if he had fun and he said yes and that he was really glad he went because it was such a special day and he wouldn't have wanted to miss it. He said Chelsea's husband seemed like a really good guy and that he was

happy for her because she deserved to find someone who would treat her well. I told him I was filing for divorce the next morning and James looked shocked and asked me why I was being so dramatic about one wedding. I told him it wasn't about one wedding and that it was about the fact that he chose another woman over his family and that he didn't seem to see anything wrong with that. James said I was overreacting and that Chelsea was just a friend and that he would have regretted not being there for her wedding for the rest of his life. I asked him if he would regret missing his son's first birthday and he got quiet and said that our son would have other birthdays but Chelsea would only get married once.

I told him that was exactly the problem and that he clearly cared more about Chelsea than he did about us and James said that wasn't true and that I was twisting everything around. I called a divorce lawyer the next day and started the process because I realized that James was never going to put our family first as long as Chelsea was in his life and I couldn't live like that anymore. James has been trying to convince me to change my mind but I know that this isn't something I can get past and I don't want to spend the rest of my marriage wondering if my husband is going to choose another woman over me and our son whenever she needs something. Update 1. I wanted to update because a lot has happened since my last post.

After I filed for divorce, James kept trying to get me to change my mind and he said he would cut contact with Chelsea if that's what I wanted, but I told him it was too late for that because the damage was already done and I couldn't trust him anymore. I found a small apartment across town that allows pets because we have a cat and I was able to get my old job back where I worked before I had the baby. My old boss gave me a flexible schedule so I could handle childcare and the divorce proceedings. Moving out was harder than I expected because I kept finding little things that reminded me of when James and I were happy together, but I knew I was making the right decision. I've been taking my son to a nearby park every day and we've gotten into a good routine with naps and meals and bedtime.

James has been asking to see him and I've been letting him come over for a few hours on weekends because I don't want to keep them apart even though I'm still angry about everything that happened. About two weeks after I moved out, James' mother Emily called me and asked if she could take him. take me to lunch because she wanted to talk. I was surprised because Emily and I had always gotten along well, but she had been pretty quiet during the whole divorce situation and I wasn't sure whose side she was on. I agreed to meet her at a little cafe near my work and I brought the baby with me because I didn't have anyone to watch him. Emily spent the first few minutes playing with the baby and asking how I was adjusting to being on my own and then she got really serious and said she needed to tell me something that she probably should have told me a long

time ago. She said that she knew James had never gotten over Chelsea and that she had been worried about it since before our wedding but she didn't know how to bring it up without causing problems. Emily told me that Chelsea had been James's first real love and that they had dated all through high school and into their first year of college and that James had been completely devoted to her. She said that when Chelsea broke up with James during their sophomore year of college she was devastated and didn't eat or sleep properly for months and that she had never seen him so broken over anything before or since. Emily said that even after James and I started dating she could tell that he still thought about Chelsea because he would get this distant look in his

eyes sometimes when her name came up in conversation or when he saw something that reminded him of her. She said she had hoped that getting married and having a baby would help James move on completely but she realized after the wedding incident that he was still holding on to feelings for Chelsea that he should have let go of years ago. I asked Emily why she never said anything to me before and she said she kept hoping that James would work through his feelings on his own and that she didn't want to interfere in our marriage unless she absolutely had to. She said she felt guilty for not warning me earlier,

but that she thought James loved me enough to choose our family over his past with Chelsea and she was wrong about that. Emily told me that she completely supported my decision to divorce James and that she thought I was doing the right thing for myself and for the baby because we deserve to be with someone who would put us first without question. She said she was disappointed in James for letting his feelings for Chelsea ruin his marriage and that she had told him he was making a huge mistake but he didn't seem to understand how serious the situation was.

Emily asked if she could still be part of the baby's life because she loved being a grandmother and she didn't want the divorce to mean that she couldn't see him anymore. I told her that I would never keep her away from her grandson and that she could visit us whenever she wanted because none of this was her fault and the baby needed his grandmother in his life. We ended up talking for almost two hours and Emily shared some stories about James's relationship with Chelsea that helped me understand why he was so attached to her but also made me realize that I could never compete with that kind of history. Emily said Chelsea had been James's whole world when they were teenagers and that he had planned to marry her but something happened

between them that made them break up and told me to ask James myself. I felt better after talking to Emily because it confirmed that I wasn't crazy for feeling like James's priorities were mixed up and that this wasn't just about one wedding but about deeper feelings that James had never resolved. Emily hugged me when we were leaving and said that James was lucky to have had me as a wife and that she hoped you would realize what he had lost before it was too late but that she understood if I couldn't wait around for him to figure it out. Update 2

James came over last Sunday to spend time with the baby and I had been thinking all week about my conversation with Emily and I decided that I needed to ask him directly about his feelings for Chelsea because I was tired of dancing around the real issue. James was playing with the baby on the living room floor and our son was laughing and trying to grab James's glasses which usually made me smile but I just felt sad watching them together because I knew this wasn't how things were supposed to be. After the baby went down for his nap, I told James that we needed to have an honest conversation about Chelsea and that I wasn't going to let him leave without getting some real answers about what was going on in his head. James looked uncomfortable and said he thought we had already talked about everything and that he had apologized for missing the birthday party and offered to cut contact with Chelsea which should be enough.

I told him that his mother had come to see me and that she had told me about how devastated he was when Chelsea broke up with him in college and that she thought he had never really gotten over her. James's face changed when I mentioned his mother and he asked what exactly Emily had told me and I said she had told me enough to know that his feelings for Chelsea went deeper than just friendship. I asked James directly if he was still in love with Chelsea and he was quiet for a really long time and kept running his hands through his hair which is something he does when he's nervous or trying to figure out what to say. I told him that I deserved an honest answer and that I wasn't going to judge him or get angry but that I needed to know the

truth so I could make decisions about our future. James finally said that he loved me and that he loved our family and that he wanted to make our marriage work but that he also had feelings for Chelsea that he couldn't seem to get rid of no matter how hard he tried. He said it wasn't fair to me and that he knew it was wrong but that Chelsea had been such a big part of his life for so long that he couldn't just turn off those feelings. I asked him if he thought about Chelsea often and he said yes and that sometimes when we were doing normal everyday things like grocery shopping or watching TV he would wonder what Chelsea was doing or think about memories they had shared together. James said he knew it was unfair to me and that he had tried to stop thinking about

her but that she would text him or call him occasionally and all those feelings would come rushing back. James told me that he had never cheated on me and that he would never act on his feelings for Chelsea but that he couldn't lie to me anymore about having those feelings because it was eating him up inside. He said he thought that going to her wedding would give him some kind of closure and help him move on, but that seeing her so happy and beautiful had actually made his feeling stronger instead of helping him let go. I asked James if he thought Chelsea had feelings for him too and he said he wasn't sure but that she had always been affectionate with him when they talked and that she had told him at the wedding that she missed having him in her life and that her new husband didn't understand her the way James did. James said Chelsea had hugged him for a really long time when he was leaving the wedding and that she had whispered that she loved him and would always love him which confused him because she had

just gotten married. I told James that I appreciated him being honest with me but that this confirmed what I already knew which was that our marriage couldn't work as long as he had unresolved feelings for another woman. James started crying and said he didn't want to lose me and the baby and that he would do anything to make things right but I told him that there was nothing he could do to change the fact that he was in love with someone else. James said he wanted to try couples therapy and that maybe talking to someone professional would help him work through his feelings for Chelsea

and figure out how to prioritize our marriage. I told him that I didn't think therapy could fix this because he couldn't force himself to stop loving someone and I couldn't force myself to be okay with sharing my husband's heart with another woman. I asked James if he would choose Chelsea if she left her husband and wanted to be with him and he was quiet for a long time again

and then said he didn't know and that he hoped he would never have to make that choice. I told him that the fact that he didn't immediately say no was all the answer I needed and that I couldn't stay married to someone who wasn't sure if they would choose me over their ex-girlfriend. James left that night looking defeated and he hasn't tried to convince me to change my mind about the divorce since then, which tells me that he knows I'm right about this and that our marriage can't be saved. I felt relieved after our conversation because at least now I knew the truth and I could stop wondering if I was making the right decision. Update 3. James called me three days ago and said he needed to see me because there was more to the story about him and Chelsea that he should have told me a long time ago and that he couldn't let me go through with the divorce without knowing everything.

I told him I didn't think there was anything he could say that would change my mind but he said this wasn't about changing my mind and that it was about me understanding why he felt so connected to Chelsea. James came over after I put the baby to bed and he looked like he hadn't been sleeping much because his eyes were red and he seemed exhausted. He sat down on the couch and said he was going to tell me something that he had never told anyone except his parents and that it was going to be hard for him to talk about but that I deserved to know the whole truth. James told me that he and Chelsea hadn't just been high school sweethearts who dated but that they had been engaged during their sophomore year of college and were planning to get

married right after graduation. He said they had been together for almost six years at that point and that everyone in both of their families expected them to spend their lives together and that he had never questioned that plan because he couldn't imagine being with anyone else. James said that during their junior year of college Chelsea got pregnant and that they were both scared but excited because they had always talked about having children together someday. He said they spent months preparing for the baby and picking out names and setting up a nursery in the apartment they shared near campus. James told me that when Chelsea was 32 weeks pregnant, they were driving to a doctor's appointment and James was running late because he had gotten held up at work and he was driving

faster than he should have been. He said it was raining and the roads were slippery and he took a turn too quickly and lost control of the car and they slid off the road and hit a tree. James said Chelsea was hurt badly in the accident and that she went into labor at the hospital and their baby girl was prematurely born but she was too small and sick to survive and she died. three days later. He said Chelsea had injuries that required surgery and that she was in the hospital for two weeks recovering and that the whole time she blamed him for driving too fast and causing the accident that killed their baby. James told me that Chelsea couldn't look at him or talk to him while she was in the hospital and that when she got out she moved back in with her parents and

wouldn't take his calls or see him. He said he kept trying to reach out to her because he was grieving too and he needed her but that she wanted nothing to do with him because she held him responsible for their daughter's death. James said that after a few months Chelsea finally agreed to meet with him and that they both cried and talked about their baby. He said Chelsea told him that she still loved him but that she couldn't be with him because every time she looked at him she thought about the accident and their baby and it was too painful for her to handle.

James told me that before Chelsea moved across the country they made a promise to each other that they would always be there for each other no matter what because they had shared something so tragic that no one else would ever understand. He said they promised that if either of them ever needed anything, they would drop everything and be there because they owed that to each other and to the memory of their baby. James said that over the years Chelsea would call him when she was having a hard time or when something reminded her of their daughter and that he would call her when he was struggling with the grief and guilt from the accident. He said they had kept their promise to be there for each other even though they both moved on and dated other people and eventually got married to other people. I asked James if he had ever told Chelsea about me and the baby and he said yes and that Chelsea knew he was married and had a son but that she also knew that he would always honor their promise to be there for her when she needed him. James said that when Chelsea told him she was getting married she had asked him to be there because it was a big step for her and she needed someone who understood her past to witness her moving forward with her life.

James told me that he knew going to Chelsea's wedding had been wrong and that he should have chosen our son's birthday party but that he felt like he owed it to Chelsea and to their baby's memory to be there for her on such an important day. He said he had never told me about their engagement or their baby because it was too painful to talk about and because he didn't want me to feel like I was competing with a ghost. I felt sad for him and Chelsea and their baby and I understood better why their connection was so strong and why he felt obligated to her. I also felt angry that he had kept such a huge part of his history from me and that he had made promises to another woman that affected our marriage without telling me about them. I told James that I was sorry for everything he and Chelsea had been through and that I couldn't imagine losing a child like that, but that it didn't change the fact that he was emotionally unavailable to me because of his past with her. James said he understood why I felt that way but that he didn't know how to let go of Chelsea completely because she was tied to the most important and painful experience of his life. I asked James if he thought Chelsea still had romantic feelings for him and he said he thought

she probably did but that they both knew they could never be together again because too much pain was tied up in their relationship. James said that being at Chelsea's wedding had been hard because he realized that she was really moving on with her life while he was still stuck in the past and that maybe that's why he had been clinging to their connection so tightly. James asked me if knowing the whole story changed anything about my decision to get divorced and I told him that it helped me understand his actions better, but that it actually made me more certain that divorce was the right choice because he was carrying too much emotional baggage from his past for our marriage to be healthy.

I said that he needed time to work through his grief and his feelings for Chelsea before he could be fully present in any relationship and that I couldn't wait around for that to happen. James said he understood and that he was sorry for putting me in an impossible situation and that he hoped someday he would be able to move on from his past and find peace. I told him that I hoped you would find peace too and that I didn't blame him for loving Chelsea or for grieving their baby but that I couldn't sacrifice my own happiness and our son's stability to help him work through his unresolved feelings. We sat in silence for a while after that and then James said he should probably go and

let me get some rest because it was getting late and I had to work in the morning. He hugged me goodbye and said, thank you for listening to the whole story and for not judging him for what had happened with Chelsea and their baby. I told him that I could never judge someone for grieving a child and that I was sorry he had carried that pain alone for so long. After James left, I felt emotionally drained and relieved to finally understand what I was really dealing with and why my marriage had felt so complicated and unsatisfying. Update 4, just writing an update because many people are dming me about what happened next so here it goes. James and I met once again to go over the divorce paperwork with our lawyers and to figure out custody arrangements for our son and a vision of our assets which wasn't too complicated since we hadn't been married very long and we didn't own a house or have a lot of savings. My lawyer had prepared everything ahead of time and James's lawyer had reviewed it and said it all looked fair and reasonable.

The custody arrangement we worked out gives James our son every other weekend and one evening during the week plus alternating holidays and when he gets older. We decided that I would have primary custody since I'm breastfeeding and the baby is used to being with me most of the time but that James could see him whenever he wanted as long as he gave me some notice first. We split our savings account in half and I got to keep the car since I needed for getting to work and taking the baby to appointments and James said he would keep paying for my health insurance through his job for the rest of the year while I got established at my new job. James also agreed to pay child support every month which wasn't a huge amount but would help with daycare and other expenses. After we finished going through all the legal details our lawyers left and James asked if we

could talk privately for a few minutes before we both went back to work. I said okay, even though I wasn't sure what else there was to discuss since we had covered everything important and the papers were ready to be filed with the court. James started crying and said he was sorry for everything and that he knew he had messed up badly and hurt me and the baby and that he would regret it for the rest of his life. He said he had been thinking about everything I had said and that he realized I was right about him being emotionally unavailable and putting Chelsea before our family and that he wanted to make things right if there was any way possible.

James said he had called Chelsea and told her that he couldn't be in contact with her anymore because it was destroying his marriage and his family and that he needed to focus on being a good father. He said Chelsea had understood and that she had said she was sorry for coming between us even though that hadn't been her intention and that she wanted him to be happy with his wife and son. I asked James what Chelsea had said when he told her he couldn't talk to her anymore and he said she had cried and said she was going to miss him but that she knew it

was the right thing for him to do. James said Chelsea had told him that she would always love him but that she wanted him to have a good life and that maybe it was time for both of them to really move on from their past instead of holding onto it. James begged me to give him another chance and said he would do whatever it took to prove that I was the most important person in his life and that he could put our family first. He said he would go to therapy and work on processing his grief about the baby he lost and learned how to let go of his feelings for Chelsea so that he could be fully present in our marriage. I told James that I appreciated him cutting contact with Chelsea and that I could see he was trying to make things right but that I didn't think it was

going to work because too much damage had been done and I couldn't trust him anymore. I said that even if he never talked to Chelsea again, I would always wonder if he was thinking about her or missing her and I couldn't live my life feeling like I was competing with a ghost. James said he understood why I felt that way but that he was willing to do whatever it took to rebuild my trust and that he knew it would take time but that he was committed to making our marriage work. He said he had realized that choosing Chelsea's wedding over our son's birthday had been the biggest mistake of his life and that he would spend forever trying to make up for it if I would let him. James asked me if there was anything he could do to change my mind and I said no and that I had already made my decision and that I needed him to respect that and stop trying to convince me to stay. I said that we could be good co-parents and maybe even friends eventually but that I couldn't be his wife anymore because I deserved to be with someone who was completely emotionally available and not carrying a torch for someone else. James looked defeated when I said that and he nodded and said he understood and that he was sorry for putting me in this position and that he hoped someday I could forgive him for ruining our family.

I told him that I didn't hate him and that I understood his feelings for Chelsea were complicated because of their shared tragedy but that understanding it didn't make it. it easier to live with. We hugged goodbye and James said he would always love me and that he was grateful for the time we had together and for our son and that he would try to be the best father he could be even if he couldn't be the husband I needed. I told him that I loved him too but that sometimes love isn't enough when people want different things or have different priorities and that I hoped you would find peace with his past someday. I hope you enjoy this story. My sibling had an affair with my partner several months before our marriage. Our mother was aware of it but remained silent. Recently, she appeared with a child on the way and feeling upset about

receiving negative comments on the internet after I revealed the truth online. 30-year-old woman here. I have a sister who's just a year older than me. We've always had such a good relationship, so finding out about this one hurt. She might as well have just stabbed me in my heart. On top of that, I've been with my fiancée since high school and we've always been with each other through thick and thin. We were going to get married in a few months. I have no idea why on earth they did this to me. What's even worse was that our mom knew and out of fear of getting involved. My sister apparently begged her not to say a word, she didn't tell me anything.

Thankfully, my dad wasn't having it and he spilled the beans to me. I've never been so angry in my life. Not only did I kick my fiancé out and throw out his stuff, some of it in the trash, but I decided to hurt my sister in another way. Why not do the same for my fiancé? Simple, she's my sister. We've always had a good relationship until she decided to ruin it months before my big day, which I allowed her to be a bridesmaid in. You don't do that to anyone, let alone your sister. Your blood. My sister's big on gardening so when she lost her dog, she made a garden for him. I knocked on her door, she didn't know that I knew, and of course I

played nice. I moved on to what she did with my fiancé and I slightly damaged her garden. I honestly just crushed a couple flowers. Am I sorry? No. Her excuse sent me over the edge. What just happened isn't a reason. Sleeping with my fiancé just happened like that, I guess. I told her I didn't want her speaking to me anymore and that I also didn't want our mom to speak to me. My fiancé won't say a word since I threatened to call the police if he ever went near me again. Yay, I made my sister cry and scream at me, but I genuinely feel like I should be the one crying. She knew how important getting married was to me and now I can't experience that. Pair that with the fact that I had to hear this from my dad, not my bum excuse of a sister or

fiancé. Hell, even my own mother didn't say a word to me. It's like she lets my sister run her. Fuck you, Tia. Fuck you, Logan. If they ever see this, I'd be absolutely delighted. Edit one since many people keep bringing this up. I'm upset that I lost the relationship I've always put 100% into.

I was excited to get married, of course, but then this news came out. It really hurt me. I didn't want to believe it at first. I almost thought my dad was pulling my leg. Later turned out to be true. I swear I have trust issues now. Edit 2 thanks again for all the suggestions, y'all. It's helping me feel more confident in exposing them.

I'm just a bundle of nerves right now because I know shit's going to hit the fan again. When I do so, I'll try my best to come with an update. I mean, it's the least y'all deserve, ha ha. Last edit when I say I decided to hurt her, it's because I kind of ruined something so meaningful to her. I feel like for most people, besides on here, that would be a bit far. It's just how I feel, though, I understand it's not what you guys wanted LOL. Clearly worked a bit though since she thought I was so damn psychotic for that. Like I said, I don't feel sorry about hurting her that way.

Forgive my terrible mood, I definitely plan on exposing them sometime today. Comments where Op has replied, comment her, expose them to everyone and ruin them. Boop, I've actually debated on doing this after I got done dealing with my sister, but if anything, I can unblock her Jews to show her what other people in the world think about her trashy ass. Ha ha. Seriously though, I still can't believe she did me like this. Comment her, expose them. They will try and spin it differently and make you look like the bad guy. Tell all his family your extended family and mutual friends. Tell them that you have cut all contact with them and you wish not to be around the bad guy.

them ever again. Boop. So far, his sister was the only one who reached out to me about this. She was in hysterics. Asking me WTF happened. She fully supports me in this. Not sure about the rest of the family but as of now, the only person I can even trust is my father. Probably her too. Comment her, this is horrible. When did this happen? I can't believe your mother. Oop, I actually found out over the previous weekend. Under another comment, I wrote how my dad explained it to me. Supposedly, my sister decided to tell my mom. She obviously asked her to keep her lips closed about it.

My mom apparently told my dad over the weekend, not right away, and then he told me. The thing is I have no idea when the hell they even had sex. That wasn't made known to me or my parents, it seems. My sister could have kept this secret for God knows how long until she finally decided to come clean to my mother. For all we know, they could have done it months ago. Maybe even several times. My fiancé denied even sleeping with her more than once, but I'm finding it hard to believe him. A small part of me keeps trying to justify my mom's actions, but I can't seem to understand.

She clearly didn't care. Up on everyone knowing about the wedding being canceled via social media. Boop, huh, I did make a post apologizing for canceling the wedding but I've turned off notifications because I kept getting a flood of messages asking what happened. So far, only his sister and my cousin know. I couldn't bear to even say anything else to other people. At the time, I felt so sick. These comments are giving me ideas though and they're very tempting.

Update 1, August 28, 2024. Hey everyone. Things like my other post has been deleted. Thanks again for the comments and support. I found out quite a bit. To start off, I did expose her and my ex on my story. I unblocked them both to tag them. Shout out to one of the commenters who wrote down what I should say.

I saved it and wrote it but added some other words of my own. My ex actually blocked me after he saw my story. I sent my Reddit post to my sister after. At the time, she didn't see but I got a call from my ex's mom. She was furious about everything, but she asked me how I was holding up and if I've heard the news. My heart sank a little because I honestly couldn't bear to hear any more bad news. I asked her what she was talking about. She said, so you haven't?

I said no and asked her to tell me. My sister's pregnant. Apparently, Logan told her in an attempt to make her chill out on my sister. I didn't want to hear anymore, so I told her I needed to hang up the phone. Thankfully, she accepted because I literally burst into tears two seconds later. After five minutes of crying, my sister responded to my story and text with the Reddit post link. She was texting me in all caps begging me to take it down. If I wasn't so upset, I would have laughed a little, but I just sat there watching her blow up my phone.

I got even angrier when she said I'm coming over and I'm telling mom that you're spreading my business online. all right, you big baby. Still never responded, though. I felt, frozen. 30 minutes later, she's trying to break my door down, so I opened it in a fit of rage, and I started screaming all kinds of shit at her. She kept screaming at me to take it down,

and I told her that's going to stay up for as long as I want it to. She kept telling me she didn't deserve online hate, and she even tried telling me that she's always been there for me through everything and that she would have forgiven me if it was the other way around. That's when I punched her. A small part of me felt guilty, I'm not the fighting type, and that was probably evident in my last post, ha, but she retaliated by saying it's not my fault Logan was tired of you and that's when I told her that I hope she ends up like her dog and that she deserves every bit of hate

she's getting for ruining my relationship. I even apologized for not ruining her entire garden and her stupid face at first. I know I'm wrong for saying this but the entire time, she was playing the victim. She called me evil and told me to rot in hell. Kept saying I was punishing her over a mistake. I said you have no idea what you've put me through and I know you would have done the same thing if you were the victim. She kept crying and insulting me because all she's ever done was support me through everything

and I had the nerve to punch her in the face and allow strangers to bash her on the internet. I told her she deserved it and I don't want her talking to me ever again and if she comes near me, I'm calling the police. She kept saying I was being extremely unfair and that she said she was sorry in her texts, but I wasn't having it. I told her to tell Mom I'm not talking to her again either. She asked me if I was really going to cut her off like that and I just wished her good luck with her unwanted child and told her to go home.

That was the last time she walked off my porch. Anyway, I had to clean up my favorite base, but it doesn't even matter. At least they're out of my life. However, it's weird how sad I feel now. It's for my own good but damn, I'll never experience the bond we had again. On the bright side, seems like I've dodged two bullets. Thanks again though, everyone, maybe I do need therapy. Last edit to say that my dad called not too long ago asking me to take every post down

because according to my mother, my bitch sister is bawling her eyes out over mean people on the internet. As if I'm taking anything down. My dad's pissed about her pregnancy, but my mom continues to defend her by saying we need to chill out on her a little bit. This is why I'm not talking to her. Thanks again, though, everyone. I'm exhausted and I need to worry about other things. Update 2, August 31st, 2024. I've officially decided to go LC with my dad today. Surprisingly, he wasn't that upset about it. However, he's still on team take down the posts and that's why I made my decision. My mom wants nothing to do with me because if I wasn't going to respect the family,

there's no point in trying to get to you. Wow, it's almost like that's what I wanted. My cousin and my ex's sister have been supporting me. Apparently, my sister has had meltdown after meltdown because more people are slowly finding out about the affair not only in person but on the internet. She actually got into it with my cousin online and according to my cousin, my sister keeps asking her to tell me to take down the posts because she's sorry and she felt pressured into doing what she did. First I even heard about my ex was from his sister.

She told me that they did speak and although he's not ready for a child, he doesn't feel comfortable leaving my pregnant sister on her own. He also wants me to stop what I'm doing but oh well, they're made for each other. Anyway, I've surprisingly been feeling a bit better thanks to my cousin and my new sister, as I like to call my ex's sister now, ha. I've actually gotten some good sleep. Still considering therapy too. A very tiny part of me feels pretty bad for exposing my sister and ex and I'll always miss the relationship I've had with them,

even despite my last encounter with my sister. But they've hurt me and it's what they deserve. If they're not taking it well, that's their problem. Thanks everyone once again. Next story, brother called me a whore at a bum. so my husband knocked him out and my parents want me to divorce him or cut me off. But turns out brother was jealous of my happy marriage. Hello everyone.

This past weekend me and my husband were over at my parents' house for a barbecue, the day my brother for some reason started to have a go at me, calling me names and belittling me. My husband pulled my brother aside and had a talk with him and the insult stopped. An hour or so later we were standing around talking with some friends and family members, and my brother came up to me and told me I'm a whore. His exact word were, You know you are a fucking whore right.

He said it loud enough for almost everyone at the party to hear. All I saw was my husband next to me look at me, then I felt a push to the side my husband stepping in front of me, and the next thing was my brother out cold on the ground with blood on his face. All I heard is my mother yelling and my husband saying you don't talk to my wife like that I warned you already. Before I continue, my husband didn't hurt me, he didn't push me hard or anything like that.

Don't know how to describe it, but it was like a push that someone will give you when they are trying to pass. I went like one step back, that is all. I am not mad at my husband. I'm mad at my brother the whole day he was demeaning me, insulting me, belittling me we don't know where this came from as he has never talked to me like that or to anyone that I know of. The bigger problem I have it that I have to chose. Either my husband or my parents.

My parents are pissed and have given me an ultimatum. I either leave my husband and divorce him or they cut me off completely. My husband doesn't give a crap that they are mad, the only thing he is mad about it that he only got one punch in his words. I love my husband and don't want to lose him, but I also don't want to lose my parents. They have supported me through a lot and have always been there for me. I know they are serious as this is the first time they have ever issued me with an ultimatum. They also threaten my husband with an assault charge, but he doesn't care and welcome them to do it.

I'm stuck between a decision that will change my life forever and I'm panicking. I have received messages for friends and other family members that have given me support and condemned my husband, but they are leaning more on the support side. Any advice will be appreciated? Edit to clarify, I am to choosing my husband. I have never questioned that, but I also don't want to lose my family. I am very family oriented and family to me is everything. I want to find a solution where I can keep both.

Comments where Op has replied, commenter 1. Info, why do your parents think it's okay that your brother called you names? What is their excuse? Oop, they haven't excused his actions but they are condemning my husband for resorting to violence. Commenter 2. What kind of family does this stuff? It sounds very dysfunctional. What were the circumstances whereby your brother goes off on you like that?

Now your parents issue an ultimatum? I appreciate that your husband stuck up for you, but that was a terrible political move. Oop. One thing about my husband he is sweet and gentle, but he has never cared what someone else thinks about him other than me, and his own mother. Update, November 5, 2024. First, I would like to thank everyone and I want to apologize as well for the way I worded my post. It's no excuse but my emotional state isn't the best. My husband is my choice and I have no intentions of leaving him at all, never had.

I know it's early for an update but I'm more confused now about what is going on. My parents invited me over to have a talk with them but they wanted me to come alone as they didn't want my husband at their house. My husband refused to let me go alone and said if he isn't going then he won't allow me to. He basically said with you alone there they will just pile on you and that I won't let happen. So we went together. My parents wasn't happy to see him and my mother wanted to say something until my husband told her he isn't there for them but me and if he is forced to leave I will leave with him,

I agreed with him. Deluctantly they agreed, my brother was there as well. He has a broken nose and chipped teeth and refused to look at me or my husband he just kept looking at the ground even while talking. Apparently what happened with my brother is that he broke up with his girlfriend a month ago. It's more like she broke up with him don't know the reason don't care. I wasn't aware of this as we aren't close like that. According to him the reason he had a go at me this weekend is because my life according to him

my perfect life with my husband kept popping up on his feeds and he got jealous. Everything on my social media is with my husband. I don't really use it for anything else but his feed was full of my posts and that set him off as I had something that he didn't. It got worse when he overheard me and my mother talking when I had a discussion with her over children. me and my husband is currently trying to have a baby and that just made everything worse in his head. His life was falling apart and mine was going perfectly and I had and was trying for have what he wanted with his ex. He said he didn't take my husband seriously when he pulled him

aside and my husband warned him. I seriously don't know why he went after me as nothing he said was true in any sense and I did ask him why he said those things. He refused to answer me. I asked him why the whore comment because he knows my husband. was my first in everything, and it has only been him all these years he refused to answer. I asked him if trying to have a baby with my husband makes me a whore as it involves sex and he just left the room. I asked my parents why they didn't step in and tell my brother to leave or stop my dad said he wanted to, but my mother told him to leave my brother B as he is not actually hurting anyone. The same with the ultimatum, the wanted to protect my brother,

I asked what about me and they were silent. All my father said was the ultimatum was my mother's idea and he went along with it. This is basically where we are at the moment. A lot more was said, but I don't think it's matters. My husband did apologize to my parents for what happened, but refused to apologize to my brother. When my mother asked him to apologize to my brother, he outright said no. He won't apologize for standing up for me and my brother got what he deserved he was warned and didn't listen. My mother said it still doesn't excuse him for hitting my brother. My husband asked my dad what will he do if someone called his wife a whore. My father said I will have a talk with that person, but will never hit someone.

My husband laughed and told my dad he is a weak-willed, spineless man if he allows someone to demean his wife like that. That got my mom red in the face I could see her get angry. That is when I told my husband it's time to leave. I told my parents that I will be going low contact with them and the ultimatum they gave me broke the trust one had in them. I understand they wanted to protect my brother, but in doing that they hurt me. This seemed to take all the anger out of my mother.

They asked if I will be cutting them out completely and I told them that is up to them. I don't want anything to do with my brother at the moment as he can't even apologize for what he said to me. I told them if they can respect my wishes we will see. When we got up to leave my husband went over to my parents and actually still greeted them politely but told my dad it's time grow a backbone. I don't know what I saw, but I think it was shame in my mother's face because my dad looked at my mother and she looked away from him. This is where we are at the moment. My husband on the way back home apologized for possibly escalating things but told me it was time someone

told my dad the truth. He said whatever punishment comes he will take and deal with any fallout. I don't need to worry or stress about anything. Edit, brothers ex cheated on him and apparently he begged her to fix things but she choose the other guy and now he is just pissed and angry at every woman and believe we will all do that eventually. Got a message from my cousin the family had to go at my parents for allowing my brother he did and they came clean as to why he did what he did but couldn't do it when I was over and we talked. They couldn't be honest with me and just refused to answer. Additional information from Oop, Oop, honestly, really thinking about it. The only person I have felt genuine unconditional love and support from is my husband.

There are a lot of thing I just swept under the rug and thought it was siblings things, but looking back whenever my brother had a difficult time at what taken out on me in some way and my parents have never stuck up for me. My husband has had my back around every corner and had never thrown things in my face like my parent or brother has. Oop on her parents' relationship and why they are not hearing her out. Oop, my father just follows what my mother said. On my 26 years of life I have never seen my dad go against my mother with anything.

anything she says or want to do it fine with him no matter the cost. For instance, my dad basically has no friends as my mother didn't like them so he gave them up and hasn't made new friends because when he tried my mother find something she doesn't and he agrees Upp should have gone alone to talk with her parents and brother about her husband's. Behavior Oop, so I should take the way he worded it over the fact that he wanted to be there and make sure I'm not getting gaslight. I took it as he want to ensure I'm safe and what happens doesn't happen again. My wording is bad as my emotional state isn't the best that is on me and I should have probably double-checked everything before posting but his emotional state can't be any better than mine.

He is dealing with everything and on top of that he is trying his best to keep my mood up. I know it sounded bad but I took what he said with all the other actions he took so far to keep me safe. I hope you enjoy this story. My folks consistently favored my adopted sibling over me. Consequently, when I established my personal enterprise, they attempted to persuade me to commemorate my shop's grand opening concurrently with her educational achievement ceremony. At last, I prevailed. My revenge I, 24M, grew up in what seemed like a normal middle-class household in the suburbs, but my parents' behavior has been a constant source of pain throughout my life.

They built their entire reputation in our community around being these amazing people who had been. adopted a little girl and loved her even more than their biological son. Not many people know the full story of how this affected me. When I was six years old, my parents brought home Emma, 21F, my adopted sister, and everything in my life changed after that day. The day my parents sat me down in our living room to tell me about possibly adopting a sister, I couldn't contain my excitement. I spent most of my afternoons alone in our backyard, making up games and waiting for my parents

to come home from work. I didn't have any siblings to play with, and the neighborhood kids were all either much older or younger than me. The idea of having a sister to share my toys with and someone to keep me company during those long afternoons felt like the perfect solution. When Emma first arrived, it was exactly what I hoped for. We played together, shared snacks, and I finally had someone to talk to during those quiet afternoons at home. The changes in my family started small but kept building up over time. My parents began focusing all their attention on Emma, making every decision based on what was best for her. They would cancel our weekend family activities if Emma wasn't in the mood, changed in her plans to match her preferences, and adjust

their schedules to attend all her school events while missing mine. I started feeling pushed aside in my own home, like I was becoming invisible to my own parents. I know people might think I'm just jealous, but there's more to this story than simple sibling rivalry. The contrast in how my parents handle childcare for Emma versus me was pretty different. Within a week of Emma's arrival, my mom submitted her resignation letter at the accounting firm where she'd worked for eight years to become a full-time mom. This was completely different from when I was born, mom went back to her office job as soon as her maternity leave ended, leaving me with different caregivers. My parents were always stressed about money back then, working overtime and weekend shifts,

which meant I spent most of my time either at my grandparents' small apartment or with whatever teenage babysitter they could afford that month. The babysitting situation was far from ideal. These girls, usually high school students trying to earn extra cash, treated their job as a chance to hang out with their boyfriends rather than actually watching me. I'd spend hours alone in my room while they sat in the living room. texting or talking on their phones. Sometimes their boyfriends would climb through our back window or sneak in through the garage door when they thought I was asleep. I kept telling my parents

about these incidents, and they'd fire the current sitter only to hire another one who acted the same way. This cycle continued for years, and I spent most of my early childhood feeling like nobody really cared about my well-being. When Emma came, it seemed like it would change everything for the better. I took my role as a big brother immediately. I shared all my toys with her and even helped her learn the alphabet. At least whatever I could do at the age of six I did, having my mom at home full-time seemed like an added bonus. I thought we'd finally get to do all the things I'd watched other kids do with their moms, like baking cookies or going to the park. Instead, my mom devoted all her time and attention to Emma, treating her like a princess

while expecting me to be mature and independent because I was the big brother. Things really started to get complicated when my parents decided to change my birthday arrangements. Emma had been found abandoned at a shopping mall, and the orphanage had no records of her actual birth date. The doctors ran various tests, physical examinations, dental checks, development assessments, and estimated she was around three years old when she was found. Instead of keeping her assigned date from the orphanage or choosing any other day from the entire calendar year, my parents decided that Emma should share my birthday. They presented this idea like it was some sort of special honor for me. Those early joint birthday celebrations were bearable, but I started noticing subtle changes each year.

While I still received presents and had some cake, the parties became increasingly focused on Emma. Relatives and family friends would arrive with twice as many gifts for her, cooing over how special it was that we celebrated together while barely acknowledging my presence. Everyone seemed fascinated by Emma's background story, treating her like a queen rather than just another kid. Meanwhile, I sat there opening my presence quietly, trying not to feel invisible at my own birthday party as people crowded around Emma to hear her retell the same adoption story they'd her dozens of times before. My parents' decision to make Emma share my birthday still bothers me

when I think about it. The orphanage had already given her an official date, the day she was found. We also had my grandparents' anniversary in March, my aunt's birthday in September, or literally any other day that could have become Emma's special date. But my parents specifically chose my birthday, claiming it would make Emma feel more connected to the family. For most kids, a birthday is the one day of the year that feels magical and be the center of attention. But my parents turned this simple childhood joy into another reminder that Emma's needs always came first. They wrapped up this decision in pretty words about family bonds and sharing, making it impossible for a six-year-old to express any disappointment without feeling selfish. My uncle was the only one who seemed to notice

something was wrong, pulling me aside during that first shared party to ask if I was really okay with all this. By age 10, birthdays had become something I dreaded instead of celebrated. Emma controlled every aspect of our joint celebrations, from choosing the cake that I didn't even like, to picking princess themes that made me feel out of place at my own party. The guest list situation was particularly unfair. Emma would fill our house with 20 or more friends from her various activities, while I was strictly limited to inviting just five of mine. This rule meant I had to carefully choose between my friends each year, sometimes damaging relationships with those who couldn't come. My best friend stopped talking to me for weeks after I couldn't invite him to my 11th birthday.

The inequality of these celebrations became even more obvious when I asked to invite my friend as a sixth guest one year. My parents immediately shut down the request, saying we'd already reached the maximum number of guests our house could accommodate. Yet somehow, there was always room for Emma's friends and their mothers, who apparently needed to supervise their daughters at all times. When I pointed out that my friends came alone, my parents dismissed my concerns with their standard excuse about girls needing more supervision. Meanwhile, Emma's friends and their moms took over our entire living room, treating me like I was just another guest at what was supposed to be my birthday too. I gathered up the courage several times to suggest

having separate parties. Each attempt ended the same way, my parents would shut me down with their well-rehearsed responses about Emma's difficult past. It'd remind me how she didn't know her real birthday, as if that somehow justified taking over mine. Or they'd bring up her tough start in life for the hundredth time, completely ignoring that they were giving her a tough present by constantly dismissing my feelings. These conversations always left me feeling guilty for even bringing up the subject, like I was

somehow being selfish for wanting one day to myself. Eventually, I stopped fighting for my birthday. I learned to put on a smile and play my assigned role in what had become Emma's special day, featuring her brother. The hurt didn't go away, it just became a familiar feeling that surfaced every birthday. During these parties, I'd sit quietly in the corner while Emma opened twice as many presents as me, trying to look happy as relatives fawned over her and barely noticed my existence. The one bright spot in all this was discovering my love for creating things with my hands. It started small, turning an empty cereal box into a pencil holder one boring afternoon. Soon I was transforming all sorts of household items into art pieces.

Our garage became my go-to-place, filled with bins of collected materials, old newspapers, plastic bottles, broken jewelry, anything I could repurpose. I spent hours watching DIY videos, learning new techniques for making everything from decorative wall hangings to intricate jewelry pieces. My room slowly filled with my creations. This was something that belonged entirely to me, something Emma couldn't share or take over. What started as a therapeutic hobby in my teens had grown into a successful online business by my early 20s. I spent countless nights perfecting product photos, writing descriptions, and managing my online shop while working a day job at a local

coffee shop. My handmade items started gaining attention on social media, and soon I had regular customers from across the country. My small apartment turned into a workshop, with shelves full of supplies and a dedicated shipping station in what should have been my dining room. After three years of careful financial planning, working overtime shifts, and reinvesting almost every penny of profit, I finally had enough savings to open my own physical store. The space I found was perfect, a former boutique in a busy shopping district with large windows and exposed brick walls. I signed the lease two months ago and spent every spare moment planning the store layout, designing a grand opening celebration.

This was supposed to be my moment to shine, to show everyone that the kid who spent his birthdays in the corner had built something substantial. I even hired a local photographer to document the whole event. When I told my parents about the store opening, their reaction followed a familiar pattern. They seemed excited for about five minutes before my mom mentioned that Emma was finishing college around the same time. Before I could even finish describing my plans for the opening party, they were already

suggesting we combine it with Emma's graduation celebration. Think about it, we can invite everyone once instead of making them come to two separate events, my mom said, while my dad nodded along as if this was the most reasonable suggestion in the world. They didn't even seem to notice the irony of once again trying to merge my milestone with MS. I refused immediately, explaining that I wanted this celebration to focus on my achievement. My parents looked shocked at my resistance, like they couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to share this moment too. They kept pushing, saying I was being difficult and selfish, using their familiar guilt tactics about making things easier for everyone. The same phrases they'd

used throughout my childhood came back, it's just one day and why can't you be more understanding. This time was different though. I'd spent years building this business by myself, staying up late to fill orders, dealing with difficult customers, and learning everything about running a company through trial and error. I stood my ground and told them directly that this event would be about my store launch only. Their attempts to make me feel guilty didn't work anymore. When they realized I wasn't backing down, my parents got upset and suggested they might not come to the opening at all. For the first time in my life, I told them that was their choice to make. The whole situation left me feeling frustrated and confused.

Here I was, their son, achieving something significant entirely through my own efforts, and instead of being proud and supportive, they were trying to dilute my accomplishment by making it about Emma again. Even as an adult with my own business, they couldn't see me as deserving of my own celebration. The same patterns from my childhood were playing out again, but this time I wasn't a six-year-old who could be convinced to share his special day. I decided that my store opening would be my moment alone, regardless of who showed up to celebrate it. Update 1, after sharing my frustration online, I received hundreds of responses, but one comment really stuck with me. A person pointed out that my parents had unknowingly handed me the perfect opportunity to take revenge.

The more I thought about it, the clearer it became, my store launch would naturally overshadow a college graduation, especially when I could offer everyone exclusive discounts and first access to my products. People are always more interested in something that benefits them directly. Instead of continuing to fight against the combined celebration, I sent my parents a message agreeing to their plan. I told them I'd reconsidered and thought they were right about bringing everyone together for one big celebration. My parents were thrilled with my apparent change of heart, probably thinking they'd won me over with their guilt trips again. I maintained this cooperative attitude during all the planning meetings, nodding along as they discussed decoration themes and

menu options. My parents took complete control of the party planning, just as I expected they would. They contacted all our relatives and family friends, organized the catering, and booked an expensive venue, all centered around Emma's graduation theme. Every decision was made according to Emma's preferences, from the color scheme to the type of music that would be played. The invitation cards they sent out were the final confirmation that I'd made the right decision. They designed these fancy gold-bordered cards with celebrating Emma's graduation in large, elegant letters across the top. My store announcement wasn't mentioned anywhere, not even in the small print at the bottom. My parents probably thought this would upset me, but it actually worked perfectly for my plans. Their complete focus on Emma's achievement meant that my announcement would come as a total surprise to everyone attending.

I spent these weeks quietly preparing my own materials and finalizing the details of my store launch. The party venue was exactly what you'd expect from my parents. They'd invited practically everyone. The timing for my announcement couldn't have been more perfect, right after all the speeches but before the cake cutting. I caught the bartender's eye and he handed me a fresh glass of champagne. Everyone's attention turned to me as I stood up, probably expecting another tribute to Emma. I had prepared my promotional materials earlier, working with the venue staff while my parents were busy greeting guests. My announcement was pretty short and I didn't need flowery language or emotional appeals.

I simply stated that after years of building my online business, I was opening my first physical store next month. Within minutes, groups formed around me as people asked about the store location, the products I'd be carrying, and the special discounts I'd be offering to family and friends. My aunt, who had just finished giving a speech about Emma's academic achievements, was now showing everyone pictures of what. my products on her phone. The contrast between my parents' public and private reactions was striking throughout the evening. In front of guests, they maintained their usual perfect image, forcing smiles and nodding along as relatives congratulated me. But I could read the tension in their body language, my mom's hands shaking slightly as she served cake, my dad's jaw clenching every time someone mentioned my store. Emma vanished from her own graduation party right after

her champagne toast fell flat, with barely anyone paying attention to her practice speech about her amazing college journey. Once the last relative drove away and the catering staff began cleaning up, my mom finally let her facade crack. She cornered me. The same woman who had spent years teaching me to share the spotlight was now accusing me of ruining her precious daughter's graduation celebration. I explained my position calmly, pointing out that this joint celebration was their idea, not mine, and that I had simply made an announcement about my business as planned. My father's reaction revealed just how deeply their favoritism ran. Instead of acknowledging their years of unequal treatment, he immediately jumped to accusing

me of jealousy. This was the same pattern I'd experienced since childhood. Any attempt to claim space for myself was labeled as jealousy or selfishness. I finally said what I'd been holding back for 20 years. I laid out every birthday, every celebration, every moment that had been hijacked and transformed into Emma's special time. For once, I wasn't asking for understanding or approval, I was simply stating facts about their pattern of behavior. My parents fell back on their usual defense strategy, recycling the same excuses they'd used throughout our childhood. Once again, they brought up Emma's abandonment, her difficult start in life, and how she needed support because she didn't know her biological family.

These were the same justifications I'd heard at every birthday, every school event, and every family gathering where my needs had been pushed aside. But this time, their words didn't make me feel guilty. I'd spent years processing these feelings with my therapist, understanding that their behavior wasn't about Emma's needs, it was about their need to be seen as saviors. What none of us realized was that Emma had returned to the venue and was standing in the doorway during our confrontation. She burst into the room, mascara running down her face, putting on the emotional display that it always worked so well in the past. Her accusations, claiming that I had always hated her, that I was jealous of her place in the family. The reality was that I'd spent my childhood trying to be the perfect big brother, giving up my space and my celebrations while being told it was never enough. Now she was acting like she'd been the victim of my resentment rather than the beneficiary of our parents' constant favoritist.

The days following the party showed just how deeply entrenched my parents' favoritism was. Instead of acknowledging how their actions had contributed to the situation, they focused entirely on Emma's hurt feelings. They called me repeatedly, demanding not just an apology, but suggesting I should finance a vacation for Emma to help her recover from the stress. The absurdity of their request was stunning. They wanted me to spend thousands of dollars to compensate Emma because people had shown genuine interest in my business achievement instead of her graduation.

Their solution to Emma feeling overshadowed at one party was to demand I hand over my hard-earned money to fund her holiday. My response to their demands was simple, I walked away. After years of trying to be understanding and accommodating, I was done playing their game. My parents seemed shocked that I wouldn't immediately give in and apologize like I had so many times before. Emma's tears had always been their trump card, but this time they weren't working. The fact that they couldn't see the hypocrisy, Emma being upset about sharing attention at forced to share or give up the spotlight at every celebration for 20 years, showed me nothing would ever change. This wasn't the first time I tried to address these issues with my family.

Throughout my late teens and early 20s, I attempted multiple conversations with my parents about their favoritism. I chose different approaches, trying to have calm discussions during family dinners, writing them lengthy emails explaining my feelings, even suggesting family therapy. Each attempt was met with the same response. Emma had a difficult start in life. This phrase became their universal excuse, a way to dismiss any pain or frustration I expressed. During one particularly difficult conversation when I was 19, I broke down crying while describing how lonely I felt at my own birthday parties, and my mom's only response was to remind me about Emma's abandonment. After years of this pattern, I finally

accepted that my parents were incapable of seeing their behavior clearly. I moved out of their house at 21, using the initial profits from my online business to rent a small apartment across town. Since then, our relationship has become increasingly superficial, we exchange birthday messages, share major life updates, and occasionally see each other at family gatherings. But there's no real connection anymore, no deep conversations or emotional sharing. They still don't understand why I've distanced myself, still blame me for not being more accommodating to Emma's needs, but I've stopped expecting them to change or to see things from my perspective. Update 2

Just when I thought my parents had reached their limit with the graduation party drama, they managed to surprise me with an even more outrageous demand. Before my store's grand opening, they showed up at my apartment unannounced. At first, they acted casual, asking about the store preparations while sitting awkwardly on my couch. But then they told me their real reason for visiting, they wanted me to hire Emma as the store manager. Their justification was that since she had a college degree, she shouldn't have to go through normal job hunting like everyone else. They seemed to think that my years of hard work building this business meant I was obligated with a ready-made career. The conversation quickly became surreal as my parents listed Emma's qualifications for managing my store.

According to my dad, her main credentials were that she was smart, had a generic business degree, and was pretty, as if physical appearance had anything to do with running a retail business. I had spent years learning about inventory management, customer service, and business operations. but apparently Emma's good looks trumped all that experience. When I sarcastically asked if there was anything else they wanted me to do for their precious my mom didn't miss a beat before suggesting that Emma should also be the one to cut the ribbon at the store opening. Her reasoning. It would make up for Emma feeling overshadowed at her graduation party. They wanted me to hand over a management position in my business to someone

with zero retail experience and let her be the face of my store opening all because they thought Emma deserved another moment in the spotlight. But this wasn't about sharing toys or birthday parties anymore. This was my livelihood, my professional achievement, something I had built from scratch without any help from them. Their reaction to my refusal followed the familiar pattern of emotional manipulation they'd used throughout my life. First came the guilt trips, then the accusations of selfishness, and finally the threats. My mom delivered their ultimatum with the same certainty she'd used when forcing me to share my birthdays, either I gave Emma what she wanted, or they wouldn't attend the store opening. The smug look on Emma's face as they made this threat

told me she expected me to give in like I always had before. Instead, I did something that shocked them all, I accepted their terms and told them not to come at all. The store opening exceeded all my expectations, even without my immediate family there. The space was packed with supportive friends, loyal customers from my online business. My extended family showed up in force. When relatives awkwardly asked about my parents' absence, I told them the truth without embarrassment or apology. Some offered sympathetic words while others seemed uncomfortable, but I was past caring about managing other people's feelings about my family situation. Months have passed since the opening, and my store is thriving. My parents tried their usual silent treatment,

expecting me to come apologizing like I had so many times before. But their silence has become peaceful rather than painful. I no longer feel the need to make myself smaller to accommodate their vision of the perfect family. I hope you enjoy this story. Blamed my folks for favoring my sibling as their favorite and damaging our bond. Following a tense gathering with the family, I also found out that my partner was exploiting me for my money. My sister is my dad.

God's golden child and no matter how much I try to get him to see me as her equal it never works and I believe she takes advantage of it. Usually is not much of an issue, but this week some things happen which were the cherry on top. I'm hopefully getting married next year and she asked if she could invite her in-laws because they will come next time she comes over. I said okay only because my parents are paying but I know she just wants to do it for the attention. So she will have at least four people from her political family there and for sure parade them around. Also, my parents are about to have a big anniversary in November, but they are postponing any celebration because my sister, who lives overseas, doesn't want to travel so long until things are

even calmer. But last month she went on a holiday to a country next to hers. I was having lunch with them and my fiancé when they informed me they are moving their big celebration to next year and I couldn't handle it anymore. I said to my dad, of course, you will postpone. We should all stop living until she is here, he said it was uncalled for, and I was making a big deal about something that had nothing to do with me, and my mom said they will, of course, have something intimate and I was as important, but I don't believe it. I stood up and said to my dad, I am so sorry the love of your life is not around, but the most important woman in your life should be your wife, not your daughter. After that, I left. The next day I felt bad and tried to call my mom who refuses to speak with me and just sent

me a text telling me I was bitter and was hurtful and need help. But they and particularly my dad hurt me with their desire of giving her such a prevalent role in their lives when she has lived abroad for like 10 years. My dad blocked me and my fiancé is worried they won't pay for the wedding anymore. My sister, trying to be the center of the universe as usual, tried calling me but I didn't reply. I gave it a few days but my parents haven't contacted me. My sister stopped trying to get in contact with me but she contacted my fiancé to check on me. I visited my grands today and she told me I need to apologize because my parents love us both, but we are different and so got different things so I began to wonder if I was the asshole. I just want some days where I'm the

most important person to my parents and still believe that my sister's golden child status should be addressed and corrected but maybe I was the asshole for the way I expressed it. Edit 1. I am 26M. My fiancé is a woman. I also want to clear out I don't think my parents are bad people but just bad parents. Edit 2, this is long time coming. My sister, 33, and my dad have a little club. She is smart, reading since four and all that. Since she was very young, my dad used to take her to visit his clients in a nearby city

and sometimes she would stay with one of his best friends who owned a bookstore and she has a very large book collection that my parents refuse to throw away, even when I tell them to send them to the woman, dad's best friend, or my sister. They talk almost daily and discuss economics, politics, etc. I am not interested on any of those and yes, he tried to take me with him, but I was always bored and did things like going to my games or getting us stadium tickets for our team but I feel he likes her more. My mom, on the other hand, has ups and downs with my sister because they are very different. The last issue was my sister's weddings five years ago, yes, she had two. One intimate where she lives and another in our country,

and my mom wanted to have her dresses made from a special fabric and my sister put a budget limit on how much the dress was going to be and even wanted to wear the same dress for both things. They had an argument but in the end she had two dresses but with the budget. She didn't even let me bring my GF, future wife, because she wanted it to be intimate but there were like 50 people there. My mom told my fiancé she would be buying or making her dress singular. My mom and fiancé have a very good relationship, so I am sure my sister was involved somehow in convincing her of that. Sister has a PhD that my parents paid for and doesn't work in the family businesses at all,

only consult sometimes and pretends she doesn't want to be paid for it. My parents supported her until she got a job and every time she graduated for the Masters and the PhD we had to go to Europe to be there. I work in a family business so I know they have to talk to me eventually even if they are angry. I could give more and more examples of their favoritism towards her. I also don't hate her. I just wish she would let me shine on my days. And yes, the wedding would be a gift, but if they were willing to pay for two and many dresses and honeymoon, then I deserve the same treatment. Edit 3. In case anybody wants to know, you might be happy about this. I got a message from my dad

telling me to be in a family Zoom call, to say everything I want and everybody will take turns. He said if I didn't attend he will pull out his funding from our business so I had to go but told him I will ask my fiancé to be in two. It was me, fiancé, parents, sister and her husband. The moment I connected I noticed my sister was pissed. I was the first to speak. I told them all my feelings and even brought up the fact they are treating my wedding differently and even what some commenters brought up about my parents leaving the businesses to my sister. I spoke about how hurtful it was they preferred her, they seemed to talk to her about serious things and she gets so much and they all think she is great, etc., and nobody said anything or interrupted me, which is very

common in serious family talks. Then they asked if my fiancé wanted to say anything and she bravely said she felt she was not part of the family and she always thought they thought of her as a daughter and she stands by me. Then it was my mom's turn and she told me she was sorry about my feelings, that they tried to do things I liked and that they love us both equally. She said it was sad I pretended everything was okay and they didn't know how deep it was but she still thinks I need help. She then told my fiancé she loves her but my sister is her only daughter. Then it was my dad's turn.

He said he is sorry I feel he doesn't like me but he isn't sorry for loving his kid. He said I didn't mind the tickets, cars, or even living in a house rent free and he is disappointed. He said everything they own will be divided 50 to 50 when they died and if I didn't want my sister to have anything to do with our business, then I can buy him out. He said they will pay for my wedding no matter what because it's something they always wanted to do for they kids but are not happy with me. He also told my fiancé that she should be grateful and not greedy. By then I was upset with the lack of apologies and the attack of my fiancé but I held it. Then my bill told me he

didn't know how I feel about his family and he just assumed his nuclear family would come just like I was at his brother's wedding. He said no hard feelings over it. Then it was my sister. A thing about my sister is that when she is truly angry she doesn't swear or screams, she is just really cold, hard, and to the neck. She said she could feel me distancing at around 10 to 11 when she visited from uni and I was not included in some conversations with my dad. She said she accepted being my guardian at 18 if my parents died so she had to be brought

up to speed on all matters and didn't want to stress me out. She said she could have been a better sister and she was sorry I grew so full of resentment, but that her career path had nothing to do with me. She reminded me I was offered to go abroad, but I didn't want to. She reminded me that I have gone on holidays with her and let me know those holidays were paid by her or her husband, not my parents. News to me. She said she asked me about her in-laws coming because they need to plan the trip around my wedding. She said my fiancé and I were only seven months together when she got married and that she didn't want my parents to have to pay for her trip. She said that the reason she doesn't want

to get paid for consulting is because she thinks is not right but that next time she will invoice me her actual hourly rate since I am so insulted by it. She said she went to the Netherlands, from Germany, because she was truly burned out and is pathetic, I think, is the same as taking a ten hours plane. She said my grandma was the one that told her everything I said because my parents tried to protect me and that she was done with me for the moment until I get therapy. and the last thing she said was that she loves me but doesn't like me at all right now. This is obvious summary but the way she said the things is something I have seen her do to people but never to me and I almost cried but she had no niceness in the eyes.

My parents said they can get me therapy or I can find it myself and that if I don't try something to help myself the wedding is the last thing I will get from them. What made me feel worse is how my sister spoke to me. She has never talked to me like this even when we argued so I know she is serious. I got my hand into me. Yes, I am jealous and the asshole. I am upset my fiancé is crying, but I think I need to evaluate what my next move is. Also, we are from La Tongue.

Update 1. I haven't been able to sleep and decided to read all the comments again. I tried calling my sister because even if yes, I am jealous of her, it still hurts me the way she talked to me. She refused to talk to me, but I could speak with my bill. He said the reason she doesn't want to talk to me is because I hurt her deeply and she feels emotionally drained by me and knows if we talk she will say more hurtful things. This made me realize how much I love my sister and the problem is me. I still have bad feelings and feel I've been slighted. I cannot say I am magically a different person but my family has never talked to me like they did and my sister has always defended me and I thought she did it to look good.

I am beginning to think maybe she actually loves me. I am very confused. My bill is an amazing man too, and he told me to just get help and give it time, but I am unsure what to do or where to go. He told me to research therapists and pick one, and he would help me choose if I want his help. He also said I should stop thinking my family doesn't care that they are not perfect, but they do their best. But he also asked me what is my fiancé's family contributing to the wedding or our lives,

and I could not think of anything. She lives with me, works with me and her parents are not paying any. because they say my family is better off. I don't know where that will go, but I did tell her I need help because I became a monster so no wedding until my family issue is fixed. She is crying but said she understands. My grandma said that she told my sister because my parents just told her there was an argument but not what I said. Looking back what I said is disgusting and I feel bad about it. She said my family wouldn't react so strongly unless they love me a lot. I asked my dad if I can take some mental days off, Noyta thing in my country, and he said it sounds like a good thing and reminded me they love me and just want me to be happy and not just pretend to be happy.

Also, the books are in her walk-in closet in her bedroom at my parents. They still have a lot of my stuff in my bedroom and my parents said I'm welcome to Sunday meeting whenever I feel ready to go. I also must admit that she did two weddings because my parents asked if she would be willing to do so. My mom wanted to get her super fancy dresses and at the end they got two dresses for like 600 euros because my sister put a limit of 300 per dress. I think maybe I am jealous of her because she is actually better than me, I just don't want to feel like this anymore or hurting my family anymore. So I guess I can thank Reddit for the hard comments. I have so many issues and so much jealousy about my sister to get over I don't know where to start. I am beginning to doubt if I am

even ready to get married. But if the comments had been full of support, I would probably not see it. And of course my family call was really something hard to be in. Update 2. It has been a very interesting time for me and my family. I wanted to share because you redditers are brutal but fair. Some told me I am rambling and yes I do so I try my best this time. My family, after taking some days off work to process it all, my bill found me a therapist and I started immediately. We have also done group sessions and couple ones, aka me and dad, me and mom, me and sister. It has helped me see all the issues and we are learning to communicate better as a family so nobody, me, feels unloved or unappreciated ever again. I now know I have a long road ahead but I want to be better.

My parents say they just want the best for me and they want me to feel loved. Also, Also, I am moving back home. After high school I moved out because I wanted to do things like my sister but I feel it is the best option so when my parents gave me the option I thought it over and agreed to. Baby steps but good ones. My sister, she didn't talk to me at all for about 10 days, and this might sound stupid but it is the longest chase and communicated with me ever. It hurt me a lot and I knew I hurt her a lot. In our session she showed me a list of many messages people send about me. They were all positive, praising my talents and all. She said we are different but great in out-owned ways and the reason I usually don't hear how great I am is because people

don't praise me directly. She also told me most of the time when something happens that my parents know she might give me shit about they simply don't tell her so I don't have drama and joke maybe I am the true golden child since they shield me. She is talking to me again and has helped me a lot. Am I still jealous of her? Yes, but I want to transform that into admiration. My ex, while I know my feelings are mine and I am responsible for them, my ex did throw gasoline to it. She was always the first to point out anything my sister got that I didn't, or how much money everybody spent on things, etc. Long story short, we broke up. Long story, I told her I was considering moving back with my parents and maybe getting a master

or something like that. She was not pleased with it and kept asking about the wedding, but I told her I could not think about marriage at this moment and maybe we could also use a break. I also told her I would give her three months to find a place to stay or she could pay rent on the house, my parents own it. She was very angry, told me I had to marry her and if not at least let her live rent-free and cover utilities and food because I was breaking up out of the blue. I told her that was the reason I was giving her three months and she could use her salary since she didn't use a single cent while we were together. Then things got weird and bad. She told me she was calling her family, not leaving the house and will sue me for mental distress.

I did panic, she said the same back in the day when I tried breaking up but then convinced me she was the only one that loved me. But this time I called my family and they told me to lock myself out the house and call a friend of my sisters. He came and told her she can sue, she can do whatever, she is not getting anything in that my offer of the three months was off and he wanted her out ASAP. He took a video with the state of everything and told her if things are damaged I would sue her. Turns out my sister told him this might be coming so he got info from her and was prepared for it and did it as a favor to her since they are kindergarten friends. A couple of my cousins stayed with me until she left days later and her dad told me I would

to hell. She is still working in the company and will have a job as long as she performs, but I have no relation with her at all anymore and haven't been to the office. Yes, there is nepotism and my family hires each other. But nobody would take away her job because she does an okay job and is always on time. I hope she finds love again, just not with me. And me, I am single, at home and most likely unemployed in the next month since my parents say I should focus on myself and my mental health. My bill has been one of my rocks through this, and he truly cares for all my family

and we are becoming true friends. My grandma let me know nobody liked my ex, and she is happy we are not together anymore. She says they all started disliking her when she got upset they didn't get her expensive things for our first Christmas. My friends also told me they didn't like her. Turns out everybody wanted it to end,

and some said so jokingly over the years, but they thought she helped me out and made me happy so they dealt with her. I hope I get better luck and love, but I need to be better too. I might take up the offer to start over abroad, but I feel more positive. And yes, my sister and I are trying to find common ground. She truly is amazing and the more I get to know her and her flaws and weird things like her lemon juice obsession, the more I like her.

At the end speaking my truth got me what I needed and while I was a huge on now I can admit how privileged I am. Still not perfect, but a little less awe. Update 3. Hello my brutal but fair friends. I wanted to give you my final update before but a Redditor let me know about a very cruel post mocking me and it sent me into a spiral. I am lucky to feel stronger and want to update you mainly to conclude this chapter of my life and also because I have received a lot of support and kindness and love I feel is just the right thing. I will also try to keep it straight. Since I left the company we have not talked much, but she became upset when I told her I was not coming back and we will be selling it. My dad made a deal with a friend that every employee

that wanted to would get the option to stay at least three years and would keep their position and not be demoted. I told her that, but she said it was unfair, that people already treat her different and she feels people like her less. I told her I haven't say anything but I know people were not crazy about her before and it doesn't surprise me that now that she is not related to any boss they are not putting up with her. We did have a big conversation about my future and it is obvious she was not with me for the right reasons. My sister, I told her about my posts and she asked to read them. After a little thought I told her my username and she said she wanted to check it out and we can talk about it later. She was very upset people were mean to me but very

thankful people called me out because I really needed that. She said her lemon juice thing was not that weird and teased me about it. In getting to know her more, I have also been told things like they have lost two babies, but I was not told since I didn't seem interested in their life and she was afraid I wouldn't take it well and it broke me. It made me realize my sister is really a human and not myth and she has suffered things I can't even understand and made me really ashamed I was not there for her because I was being selfish and arrogant. Even in the pain she thought of how I would feel because yes, my sister does love me. She has assured me she loves me unconditionally, but now she is starting to like me again.

My bill and parents, my bill is an amazing man. I really hope one day I am like him in my own version. I get more and more why he truly deserves to be with my sister and he is full of love and patience. We had a long conversation about them having kids and I told him to please don't think I am an obstacle. He was really moved because he told me they were considering not trying at all until I were better, but I know in my heart I would not forgive myself if I prevented them to have babies. My parents told me now that I am making changes in life they would like to spend seasons in Germany and the only reason they didn't before is because they wanted to be close to me.

Turns out they wanted to be close to me all along. I just was too stupid to notice. Me, I am moving to Germany. I decided to just try something new. My sister and Bill are helping me with all the paperwork I will be going under an applicant permit and I feel very happy about it. My parents are helping me translate my documents, do everything to make them legal and all. I am applying for a master degree and will get support from my family, sale of the business and a little job my bill got me.

I am just finalizing things and will be moving at the end of the year. My sister owns her own department and she will host me until I find my own. I am already taking German classes and my bill helps me practice too. That is the reason I know without a doubt my ex is not for me. Because when I told her I was moving to Germany, her only question was if she could come too and if my parents would be willing to help her out since she doesn't get a wedding now. She has been posting things about how my sister and how she destroyed her life with her schemes, but my sister's friend sent her a notice letting her know we would sue her and she stopped naming her

and now it is all passive aggressive posts without my sister's name. I apologize to my sister, but she only asked me if I would ever get back with my ex and when I said no she told me she couldn't care less about what my ex did. I am working very hard on my mental health. I know it may take months or years to be in a place where I have zero jealousy, but I also know it is for the best. I have not started dating again even if some friends suggested it because I want to be a worthy man and I am moving so I see no point. My therapist is amazing and since we do the sessions online it shouldn't be a problem. Sometimes I reevaluate some memories and realize people did like me, did love me, did care about me, but I just couldn't see it.

My sister is truly just extraordinary and I couldn't see it because I didn't truly knew her and was so focused about myself. I now know I am also extraordinary in my own way or at least she keeps telling me that and I should stop comparing myself to her or anybody else. I never really appreciated how much my parents thought of me or did for me but now I know my family loves me and we are not perfect and I am not perfect but I will never take them for granted. I am looking forward for a better future, a better relationship with my family and

and if I am lucky enough a new nephew or niece. Thank you for all you have told me and for being the kick I needed to change my life. I am very grateful I came to this site. Update 4. Hello to the few asking about an update. I recently read all my posts and I feel very ashamed and proud of them. Ashamed because I was such an idiot and proud for the progress so far. Things have changed a little but it is all positive for us.

My parents, they now do seasonal or small stays in Germany. We have taken small hobbies together like wine painting and we keep getting to know each other better. My parents might eventually end up moving here but is unclear yet. The celebration of the anniversary is still postponed but they went on a very fancy trip as a second honeymoon and they don't seem to care much for that. My bill, he's my brother now. I also became friends with his brother and they introduced me to their football and pool groups. I eventually made other friends but keep hanging with them a lot. My sister, she says she likes me again which honestly is the best feeling in the world.

They are starting to try again soon and I am just excited for them. Sometimes when I feel any jealousy I actually tell her and she takes me step by step to see where it came from. We have had arguments since we are human but nothing so big or permanent and I feel she is more comfortable with me now. My ex, I don't keep up much with her. were supposed to be friends, but she was so negative I simply blocked her everywhere. All I know is she is dating someone else and telling everybody around she is so glad she didn't marry me

which same. Me, I got into the program I wanted. I arrived at the end of 2021 and stayed a bit with my sister and Bill. There was a lot of debates over staying in the same city, but I decided to do so. I moved out and decided to give student life a try, but I still see my sister at least two times a week and same with my parents when they are here. I am still in therapy, learning ways to improve and bike everywhere. I had a couple flings since I arrived but still do not feel ready for a relationship. I want to find a partner but is scary and I need to be able to do so without being manipulated. One year ago I made a disgusting remark and now it feels my life is just going up. Thank you guys. Update 5. I recently showed this to my girlfriend and she is surprised how things.

happened. I am very happy and love my life now. I will be an uncle soon, almost done with my new degree, and have a great relationship with my family. This is for the few people that ask for updates, which probably will be the only one's reading. No drama or anything bad to report. And now I'm also obsessed with lemon juice. Thank you Reddit for kicking my ass and improving my life. I hope you enjoy this story. The favored offspring received $370,000 from our parents, whereas I received no financial support. Despite this, they continue to ridicule my modest wedding that I funded independently. As a result, I eventually lost my temper. Family dinner. I, 27M, am the third of four siblings and have always felt like an afterthought.

Lori, 33F, Chuck, 29M, and Jade, 25F, have always gotten the first and best for my parents and each other. I get the leftovers if I'm lucky. I haven't gotten a birthday present from any of my siblings in about 10 years, but I still get asked to pitch in for group gifts for each of them every year. On Friday night we were having a family dinner and it honestly felt like every other sentence was a dig at me or a less than subtle brag by my siblings about something they had been given by my parents that I was denied. They talked about how nice almost all of our weddings were, but made sure to mention it was okay that my wife and I had a small low-key wedding. And it was okay, we loved it. But they brushed over the fact that my parents paid for all of my siblings'

weddings. But not mine. Because somehow they couldn't afford it. Because they were saving up for Jade's wedding. They brought up how little student loans they have. Because my parents helped them. All of them lived on campus at expensive four-year schools. I lived at home and went first to a very prestigious, very hard to get into, watchmaking school. I got paid to attend this school. So I paid rent at home. My parents paid for my tools. And I appreciate the help. I really do. But they paid $121.50,000 each for my siblings. They gave me $7,000 for tools. But to them it's equal.

When I went back to school on my own, I didn't ask for money and wasn't offered it. When my brother went back to school, they covered everything without him even having to ask. There were many other small moments. Comments about cars and other lifestyle choices. But what made me snap was my brother. and his wife mentioning their marriage being so great because they do things like spontaneous dates, like the one they had the prior Friday night. The Friday night where my parents called my wife and I last minute to cancel plans they had

to eat dinner at our house because they had to watch Chuck's kids because of an emergency. Turns out that emergency was a dinner for Chuck and my sill at Texas Roadhouse. I had spent hours making my grandpa Zedine meatballs with homemade marinera because it's my mom's favorite. I wanted more than anything to scream at them but instead I got up and left without saying a word and my wife followed me. When my mom called me later to ask why I left, I just explained exactly why. I explained the favoritism, the unfairness, and the fact that it doesn't feel like they care about me. She didn't say much and I wasn't really looking for an explanation or an apology in the moment.

I just felt like it was self-evident, but if she really didn't see it, I'd spell it out. Evidently at least parts of what I said have been shared with my siblings because now Chuck and Laurie are furious at me and saying I ruined dinner and my mom is upset that I am hurt. They say I'm immature for keeping score Ida. Comments where OP has replied, commenter, NTA. Your siblings are keeping score as well. They use that score to belittle you every time they see you. Your parents, including your mom who is all of a sudden upset that you are hurt, have allowed that to happen. Your mom is only upset because you finally stood up for yourself and called them all out.

Keep on keeping score, they certainly will. O.P., honestly on the phone she didn't seem agitated at all, but when I started explaining everything she just kind of got. Sad I guess. She got real quiet and didn't say much. commenter NTA I don't know if this is the best solution but if I were you I would write everything down just like you told us then send it to each one of my family members in a group chat then block them

I would move on from a relationship with them and love them from a distance sidebar do you and all your siblings look exactly alike op jade is adopted So no. But she has always been the baby and been treated as such anyway. My first draft had a lot more background, but it was way over the character limit. I look almost exactly like my paternal grandfather, I even have the same thing with my eyes where they were blue when I was born but have formed a brown ring around the outside as I've grown up. So there's almost no possibility that I'm not my father's son if that's what you're getting at.

Jade is on my side incidentally, and she feels awful about the wedding thing, but she didn't find out about them not paying for my wedding until about six months ago, which is six months after her wedding. She assumed that they had paid for part of my house or something. Because verbally that had always been the deal. But no. I got to pay for my own wedding and my parents never honored the long-standing agreement of we have money saved for each of you and you can either use it for a wedding or anything. else you want as a wedding gift when you get married. This is not Jade's fault. She didn't ask for any of this. She didn't even get to plan her own wedding. My mom and Lori did that. It was extravagant because Mom and Lori wanted it to be extravagant. Jade and her husband mostly hang out with my

wife and I when they are in town. That has been a pattern for a long time. Family gives her stuff she didn't ask for do I guess make up for her early childhood sucking, and it's often at the expense of me. But since she was like six, she'd always then share it back with me. Jade and I are fine, she shouldn't have been responsible for policing the fairness of the adults in our lives. Commenter, have you straight out laid all this information in front of your family like you told us? Or have you personally been taking all this in yourself? I'm glad your sibling Jade is empathetic with you. Op, the Friday night phone call with my mom was the first time I laid more than one incident

at a timeout for anyone. It's also the most thorough I've ever been about explaining any single incident because it's the first time I didn't get interrupted. We were on the phone for 1.5 hours and I was talking for most of it. Commenter, you seem like an emotionally strong person. Sometimes when people know they can't get to you, they can't help but keep trying. Says more about them. Question if you weren't related would you even hang out with these people.

You do get to choose your family, you know. Don't worry about rocking the boat, sail your own. Op, I definitely still hang out with Jade and her husband, as well as my grandparents. But my OMA, Dad's Mom, already sees me more than anyone else in my immediate family and my Pop Pop. Mom's Dad has spent more time with me than the other grandkids since I was a child. child. I have autism and he almost certainly would have been diagnosed had he been born today. We both need breaks from crowds and we have similar sensory issues so we bail on family gatherings to go play Bocci for as long as I can remember. Update 1, I don't know where the best place to put

all this so I'm putting it here if that's okay. My first draft contained some of this info, but I had to edit a lot to get down to the character limit. Some of this has been shared in other comments but I'm just consolidating in hopes this is seen and answers questions. 1. There is no reason to believe I am not my father's child. The list of genetic coincidences that would be necessary for that to be the case is long and not worth rehashing. He doesn't have any male relatives that could explain it either. He has one sibling, my aunt, and none of his cousins have ever been in his life, or even remotely local. I look just like my paternal grandfather. I always have.

He died when my father was young, but by all accounts he was a good father and is remembered fondly. 2. My younger sister has been the beneficiary of many, if not most of the things my parents chose not to give to me, but she did not ask for any of that and has been one of the only people consistently trying to make it right. I mean for goodness sake she was trying to fix it when she was six. She has definitely not seen everything, but what she has seen she has tried to correct. She is perhaps guilty of assuming the best of people and not asking questions, but she isn't heartless and getting angry at her isn't going to fix anything. We talked for a long time after I posted this. She had been told she was contributing to a birthday gift for me every year since at least 2018. She gave money to my older sister to buy my wife and I tickets to my favorite soccer team,

and then when my wife and I inevitably posted about going to games she assumed one of the games we went to each year was the gift she had been contributing money towards. There is a lot of backstory there, but the gist of it is Jade and I have always gotten along well, and Jade does not participate in singling me out negatively. She and her husband spend time with my wife and I frequently, usually just the four of us. Three. I was definitely favored by my maternal grandfather growing up, but it's a lot of my father It's not like I got extra gifts or anything.

He and I just have very similar personalities and that showed at a young age. I am on the spectrum and I feel very strongly that were he my age he'd have been diagnosed as well. We both struggle mightily with a lot of sensory things, but loud crowds and being surrounded by a lot of disparate sources of noise, like, perhaps his loud Italian family, overwhelms both of us, so both of us hide for at least some portion of all family gatherings. Over time we started hiding together by just leaving to play botchy or locking ourselves in the kitchen to cook. As an adult he has made comments that indicate he sees that I'm not being given as much and in the last two to three years he has definitely given more items to me than anyone else.

Things he wants me specifically to have if slash when he passes and that he wants me to enjoy now. That was definitely a source of tension on Friday. He is quite wealthy and my older siblings are accusing me of truceing me of. trying to enrich myself based on inheritance. I have no clue what his plans are and I have not, and will never, ask. It's not my business, and he has always had a pathological need to make things even. Everyone gets the same number of boxes at Christmas, with as near as possible the exact amount of money spent on each recipient, so I do not expect him to behave differently with his estate.

I honestly expect that anything that doesn't go to charitable causes will be divided evenly, but I really think it's all going to charity. But where my older siblings see the monetary value of his record collection and view it as a financial windfall. I just see a beautiful collection of music I get to keep listening to, I'd never sell that. They feel that I am hoarding the antique watches he gave me. The most valuable of which is a 60s time X-Marlin.

But again, they just want me to sell them and divide the cash. First of all, they aren't valuable except in sentiment. Second of all, Popup is very much still alive and only gave them to me because he knows I will repair the ones I like and wear them. Selling them would be extremely rude and entitled. They are angry that he gave me his first nice car. Because it does have nominal value even now, too old to be valuable as a reliable vehicle, not old or rare or desirable enough to be a collector's item. But to me it's a sentimental item. It was his Sunday car for years and while I've had to put a lot of work into keeping it running well,

it's in excellent cosmetic condition. My older siblings are contesting that actually I am the favorite and the very measurable and extremely generous financial gifts given to them by my parents are somehow dwarfed by their emo very inflated, estimation of the financial value of the gifts my grandfather has given me recently. For, my paternal grandmother has openly favored me more and more as I've aged. Again, this is not financial and to my knowledge she isn't in a position to leave me an inheritance. Not that I'd even ask that of her. There is an old clock of hers made by a local clockmaker and housed in a handmade cabinet

that I used to spend hours looking at when I was really young that she actually put multiple labels inside of as early as when I was five or six saying that it belonged. to me. But I didn't ask for that. I appreciate it, and I will gladly accept it if she still feels that way when the time comes. But I don't spend the time I spend with her as some sort of plot to steal her clock. I just like hanging out with myoma. She's a really funny lady, and she likes walking with my wife and I and our dogs. She stays with us in our house on holidays in lieu of staying in the guest house my parents had built for her. My siblings are under the impression that she has somehow supported me financially.

Again, unless there is something I am not aware of, she is very much not in the position to do this. Five, my wife and I will be meeting with my parents at some point over the next week to talk. I do not know what to expect, but will be taking the time to write stuff down in preparation. I don't even know what I want from it, but I will be bringing up fast. family therapy. Update 2, so update time. About a week after that post my wife and I sat down with my parents and cleared the air. As several people suggested I wrote down my thoughts and compiled, to the best of my knowledge, a listing and full accounting of the disparity and what my siblings were given over the years and what I was given. I did actually sit down and do the math and it

turns out that while I was at the Technicum I actually paid my parents more in rent than they ever paid for my tools. But the final reckoning came to between minus $370,000 on the high end, Jade, to minus $190,000 on the low end, Chuck, for how much my parents directly gave to my siblings that they never gave me. Sitting down and seeing the full amount all spelled out like that is probably the angriest I got during this whole mess. My parents have been aware that were discrepancies but really pushed back on the actual amounts until we sat down and went through each major jiff slash incident case by case, by which point my dad admitted my reckoning was likely conservative. That was more or less the end of any productive talk that night,

my dad just claimed they didn't think it had gotten that bad but wouldn't give any details about how they could have possibly not noticed. In the interim Chuck and Lori continued to escalate their anger, continued to call and text me, my parents, and extended family. I have not spoken to either of them directly since and don't expect to any time soon. Roughly a week after that first sit down my mom and dad asked to meet again. Lotz was said, but the gist is this, they felt I was doing well and didn't need their help. Basically they thought I would be fine without them. They admitted they probably live outside their means and gave more to my older siblings than they should have and could never have given me that much. They claimed

the timing of my wedding lined up with probably the most dire of their overspending slash lack of saving and that they literally did not have the funds to live up to their promise. Especially as they were paying for Jade's tuition, car, an apartment at that time. They have offered money, they have offered to pay for vacations, a car, all kinds of stuff, but I think they don't really get it yet. My wife and I don't want their money, but we aren't really sure yet what an ideal resolution to this looks like. At least they have admitted they were unfair and are open to working things out. My wife and I spent Easter with Jade and her husband and my grandparents, my mom and dad came over

in the evening. This seems to be more or less the new normal for now. Comments? I bet they'll ask you for monetary help with end-of-life costs. That's a bit of why I don't want to accept any gifts from them right now. As it currently stands if nothing's changed about our relationship between now and when they retired, I wouldn't feel any guilt about leaving them on their own, although I'd bet anything Jade and her husband would make sure they didn't become destitute. I just really don't think I'd be in a position to be guilt into helping them. If I let them pay off my mortgage though, I know they would try and use that as leverage. I know them too well not to know that's what they do. Right now I don't wish any ill on them.

I just wouldn't step in to help them, at least not monetarily. They spent recklessly, I think they still spend recklessly. I don't think any of my pop-pop's frugality or understanding of being poor made its way down to my mom. I think she doesn't remember when she was really little and his company hadn't taken off yet, or if she does she refuses to take any lessons from it. I don't think they have robust retirement savings, and I don't trust them to live frugally even if they do. I fully expect them to be broke within five years of retiring, and I don't want them to have a way to try and guilt me into helping. I know Chuck and his family aren't going to feel like they are in a position to help, even if they are.

They make great money but always complain about being broke. By no definition are they broke, they just have expensive tastes and trashy friends, and unless there is a mending offences lorry will likely be too mad at them for babying me by doing the bare minimum and listening to my grief. that she will be glad to see them suffer. Especially if she doesn't think there's going to be anything for her to inherit, I really truly think she would discard her own parents without a second thought if they blew through her inheritance. More on Jade and the birthday gifts, I don't really have time to address everything but the birthday thing with Jade was addressed in comments on the first post.

The short version is she and her husband had been giving Lori money, and a really sizable amount of it turns out, every year to buy my wife. wife and I tickets to see the union play. Then, when we inevitably posted pictures of us at games, she assumed that at least one of those games was the gift. She even pointed out one of my Instagram posts last year explicitly called it a birth gift. I didn't specify it was my gift from my wife and to be fair the comment Jade left on it

at the time in retrospect very much reads like she was glad I was enjoying her gift to me. So the reality is Lori was just straight up stealing a couple hundred bucks from Jade every year for at least five years. I love Jade and her husband, and they are very sweet. But they are very naive. Both grew up wealthy, both grew up spoiled, and neither has any real sense of how much things cost. They just genuinely thought tickets to a union game cost multiple times

over what they really do and didn't blink when Laurie asked for money for my birthday gift every year. Jade and her husband are not speaking to either of my siblings now. They were both genuinely astonished to hear I hadn't been getting gifts from my siblings. Fun side note they took my wife any eye to a game this spring and paid for everything, unprompted, and not thinking it made up for everything. They just wanted to do a nice thing. I will not pretend Jade is perfect or that you can't tell she's been overly spoiled,

but my God does she try hard not to be entitled. She and her husband do well financially in their own right and they share freely. I know she got a leg up, but it's not fair to begrudge her that she didn't ask for it and she has never rubbed it in my face, unlike Chuck and Lori. She is mortified at how uneven things are. Chuck and Lori are mad it's not continuing. Are your parents aware that Lori has been stealing from Jade? They are. I know they are still in contact with her and her family as well as with Chuck and his.

Lori and Chuck are the two that have given them grandchildren and I don't want or expect my parents to turn a cold shoulder to them. I don't intend to pry into their relationship. My parents know what Lori did, how they want to approach it is their business. In the meantime, my own relationship with my parents is strained and pretty low contact and I'd rather focus on that. I don't really have any real relationship with either of my older siblings and I can't see myself ever caring enough to try. If either of them has a come to Jesus moment and genuinely wants to make things right they know where to find me. One more thought from Upp on not wanting money from his parents. I believe if I let my parents give me money, which I'm not even sure if they have,

they will consider us even and not actually address the fact that even without the money I was treated differently. Until I have reason to believe the offer of money is coming from anywhere other than an attempt to get back into my good graces and by my forgiveness I'm not interested. interested. My wife and I both work and earn good money. We are by far the least well off of my family, but we are comfortable and we have savings, and retirement savings. Which may be more than can be said for the others except Jade and her husband. I don't see or speak to my parents as much as I used to and so far that's been fine by me, if they want to actually self-reflect and try and make amends, I am very open to it. But not until they acknowledge the non-monetary favoritism as well. My grandparents are fully caught up. They already knew it was skewed.

Part of why I'm not overly concerned with settling the score for lack of a better phrase is that I have now been told in no uncertain terms I will come out of this better off. I know now that any relationship with my brother or older sister is almost certainly beyond repair. I've accepted that. I think letting my parents ease their conscience by throwing money at the problem will only lead to them not actually taking accountability for their actions. I hope you enjoy this story. I perused my spouse's diary and found out he desired for me to cease existing so he could wed a different lady. I departed with our infant and now I am assuming control of our enterprise.

I, 33F, and my husband, 37M, has kept a semi-regular journal throughout our four-year relationship. He does not keep it hidden and up until now I have always respected his privacy. We had a heated conversation and my gut told me to read it so after he left for work, I did. He wrote several times that he hates me and at one point he said when I was sick he hoped I would die. When I read those words I packed up me and our baby and went to a friends where I'm staying now. I took pictures of all the pages. I told him I just need some space to cool off after a conversation and I will be home soon. I booked with my therapist and contacted a lawyer. We had a rough patch recently that lasted about two weeks.

It was a dark time, but we pulled through. There was no violence, no moments where I was afraid of him, just sincere conversations about difficult feelings. The notes of hatred correspond with that rough patch. The rest of the journal is tame and reflects the man I know and love mostly little self-pep talks around work and family stuff, goals, habit-tracking. He has sent me several warm messages since I left. He says he's glad I'm taking space for myself, that he looks forward to reconnecting when I come home, it's okay to have little hiccups, that he loves me, etc. I was sure our relationship was over the moment I read that he hates me, or even the moment

I felt the need to violate his privacy. But the warm messages and the rest of the journal have me wavering a little. I understand the need to blow off steam when things are tense, and journal, is a healthy way to do that. But never in even our darkest moments have I fantasized about his death. Splitting up maybe, but this feels so sinister. I don't know how I could ever feel safe around him again. Is this just healthy venting and I'm overreacting here? Has anyone else had similar thoughts about a spouse that they then got over? Or is this a man I need to protect myself and my baby from? Edit to add context. The rough patch. The rough pattern is a

was about his feelings for another woman. He didn't cheat, but his friendship with her makes me uncomfortable. The part of the journal where he says he hates me was written as a love letter to her. He says he thinks about me dying and being replaced. Comments. Jealous ad 5146. I'm married 17 years and I've never wished my spouse would die. Like what? Does he know you seen this? He just left it out like he wanted you to see it. And you are the mother of his child. Op, he doesn't know I've seen it. He has always left it out.

Carla Way, it is over. He wrote a love letter in his journal to another woman. You know it is more than a friendship. No matter what he says to your face. Stay strong. Contact an attorney. Go to your home while he is at work and gather more of your belongings. I am sorry. Don't believe his words now. He is seeing a strong woman stand up

for herself and reality is hitting him in his face. 20 Keller 12. Email those pictures to at least one person you trust before he finds out you've seen them. Update 1. I hope I'm doing this right. Thank you so much for all the advice and words of encouragement. Some of it was tough to read, but still deeply appreciated. Wanted to do an update because a lot of people were concerned for my safety. I took a commenter's advice and sent the pictures to a trusted friend. She pointed out that a passage I initially read is every day I think about telling her actually very clearly says killing her.

I guess my brain couldn't comprehend that at first. I received a ton of helpful perspective and support, but that comment in particular might have saved my life. After I digested that, I called a crisis line and they were quite helpful in talking me through the shock. They also put me in touch with a center that's helping me get more affordable legal help. Bought some more time for my husband. Told him I'm enjoying getting out of town and I'd like to stay an extra night or two. I have therapy tomorrow and an appointment with a social worker to make a safety plan.

I feel like I have a good crew of family, friends and professionals supporting me. Absolutely zero regrets now about reading his journal. My get told me something was off, but I couldn't have imagined a worst-case scenario as bad as this. I'm so glad the inner alarm bells were louder than my conscience this time. Nothing about this marriage is worth risking my life to salvage. Update 2, just want to say a huge thank you to this community for helping me through a challenging time. Your comments and messages have been such a comfort and I'm so touched by the the kindness of internet strangers. At the suggestion of the social worker, I reported his journal

to the local police, and that was, unsurprisingly, a one-tenth experience. The officer I spoke to chided me for reading his journal, spoke about his reasonable expectation of privacy and basically threatened to tell my husband I had reported him. I had to firmly advocate for myself and stress that I was afraid for my life. It was an awful conversation, but now there is at least a record which includes photos of the journal. The family lawyer I spoke with advised me to file a protection order right away. The order would ban him from all contact with me and our child, bar him from our residence, my workplace, and any other places I request. He would then have to prove to a judge that he is a fit parent to be able to see his daughter again, and then we would

go to mediation to try and agree on what visitation would look like. Another wrench in this situation is that we own a business together. I have an appointment with another lawyer this week to discuss what my options are there. The business was my idea, I'm confident I can run it without him, and I want to, but he's put a lot of time into it and it's the main source of income for both of us right now. It's a good moneymaker, and I'm worried he'd fight me tooth and nail on this. We take turns going in, so I went as usual on Saturday, with a friend and a baseball bath. I continued my active intending to reconcile, doing video calls with the baby, etc. While I was at our workplace, I found another journal.

Page after page love letters to this other woman going back months. The progression from I liked seeing you at the grocery store to I drove past your house today was wild. He writes about how he's deeply in love with her, can't wait to marry her, etc. He wrote about every interaction he's ever had with her and the poor woman seems completely innocent and oblivious. Even what he perceived as flirting seems like basic politeness. He mentions a few other times that he wants me to die. The most recent entry was from the day before. He writes to her that he thinks I might be breaking up with him, but that's fine because

he never liked me that much anyway. If he's upset about anything, it's just about losing the house and how the breakup will be perceived by our friends and community. Curious if people think I should warn the other woman, it's my instinct not to, at least not before the ink dries on our impending paperwork. I was already concerned about how he might react to being served with a protection order, most worried that he might try to sabotage our business or trash the house. Given how preoccupied he seems to be with his public image, I made a plan to confront him about the journals and use the protection order as leverage. Here's how it went down. I left the journal and my baby with my friend and went to our house with two thousand.

trusted male friends, and the baseball bat. They waited on our porch. I told my husband that if they heard anything louder than a speaking voice, they would come in with the bat. I told him I had to tell him something he wouldn't like to hear, and he needed to know that I had already taken steps to protect myself. I told him I read the journals, specifically what he said about wanting me to die and thinking every day about killing me. I said I had taken photos, that they are backed up, and a trusted source also has copies. That I also have the original copy of the journal full of love letters. I wondered until this moment if he had intended for me to find them but he was obviously blindsided. He tried to say it was just venting, but I told him I would not be taking any chances or

entertaining anything he has to say about it. That after reading what I read, I will never trust him or feel safe around him ever again. I told him that no one that knows him knows about this yet. The men on the porch just know that I'm breaking up with him and need support. This was true, aside from the friend that I called to stay with and the other friend I sent the photos to, who lives on the other side of the country. I said I am willing to protect his reputation here if he cooperates with me. I told him that I don't even have to ruin his chances with the other woman, but I can. I said that he can either do what I need to feel safe, or I can have that safety court ordered.

He asked what I wanted, and I said I wanted him to give up the business. We'll sort out the details after I speak to the other lawyer, but for now I want his keys and I'll be changing the passwords on everything. He didn't put up any kind of fight. He didn't want to hear anything about what it would look like to go through the courts. He didn't ask about our baby. He just calmly got up and got the keys and asked if I wanted anything else. I told him that any communication with me should be about separation logistics only, like arranging a time for me to collect the rest of my things. Since then he has been blowing up my phone, saying I know his heart, let's walk back from the edge, let's talk to a therapist, he's sorry his words hurt me,

etc. Each time, I just tell him he's crossing my boundaries and he backs off. He apparently told his mom and sister everything and they're supporting him in getting help. He's been cooperative so far. He's interviewing for a new job, seeing a therapist and updating me on his movements, though I didn't ask for this. I've temporarily moved in with my parents. My commute to work is longer, but I have help with baby and home-cooked dinners, starting to settle into new routines, doing so much therapy and yoga.

I inherited a small cabin before my husband and I met. It is currently being renovated and, and the original plan was to move in there with my husband and baby when it's done. The cabin is actually in my mother's name because she's never trusted my husband, correct, and wanted me to shield it from him in case of a divorce. Thank you, Mom. So I will have a permanent home for me and baby very soon. The dust still needs to settle and it could get worse before it gets better,

but I'm optimistic at this point. I'm confident I'm going to come out the other side of this as a badass single mom with an incredible child, a thriving business and an adorable little home. Honestly, the thought of having all those things on my own without my husband is so freeing. I've got a great village supporting me. Thank you all so much for being part of it. Comments, Yaya Yachno, he's already not putting up a fight and that itself is a huge relief. If she still lets the lady know, it could make him snap and hurt her and the baby.

Op has to think about her kid's safety and try to not be a target. it. Op, this is exactly where my head is at. I don't know this woman, so I can't trust her not to tell her friends and I don't want it to get back to him. Still likes turtles, Ops' lawyer, or social workers should handle that. Ock should share it with both, either can take appropriate action to inform the other woman. No need for Ops' life to be Messier or give the soon-to-be X anything to work with. Op, lawyer agreed with me that it's best not to talk to the other woman for now. The police know. Too-to-binanorama, it would make a wonderful book someday.

Maybe you can turn this horrible event into a stream of income for you and your baby somehow, to help with your new life. It takes a week just to make the appointment sometimes, lawyers, therapists, but protection orders can come quickly. Please tell us this is real. But you didn't lie to us. Op, it is all unfortunately real. For anyone else in a similar situation that might be reading this in my area, there is a legal center that holds space for emergency appointments every day at 2 p.m. Protection orders are processed the same day they are filed, that's my understanding.

I didn't actually file one yet, as far as a therapist, I have one I see regularly, so I already had an appointment on the books. After speaking with me, my therapist opened up an additional weekend appointment because I obviously needed the extra support. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Discovered that my wife cheated on me with my best friend, so I ruined her life. Here is my story.

My wife and I both met each other 15 years ago at summer camp. I had been attending the camp since I was a child and when I was of age I applied to be a counselor. My girlfriend had actually just moved to the area and applied for a summer job there. She was a new girl to everybody else who had been going there for years. She was beautiful and right away I had a crush on her. We had our little summer fling and we didn't think anything else would come of it. However, we kept in touch and we eventually ended up going to college in the same city.

From there our relationship turned romantic. When we graduated we got married shortly after and everything had been perfect between us. I truly loved her with all my heart and I thought she was. she felt the same way. We had two children together and I had a great job so she was able to stay home and take care of them full time. It was like the perfect American dream. I didn't have to travel often for my work, but every year there was a big company retreat in the mountains. It was for team building activities in theory, but it was just an excuse for everybody to get together and drink for an entire weekend. I looked forward to it all year long. I worked in the

same office as my best friend, let's call him Mark. We met each other during our senior year of college and we hit it off right away. I had never gotten along with another person quite the way I got along with Mark. We got each other's sense of humor and we could talk about the strangest things for hours. He was hired at the firm we worked at first then he saw a potential opening for me and he vouched for me. I thought I had him to thank for how great my life was in some respects. One of the reasons I was looking forward to going on the company trip was to spend some more quality time with Mark. The week of the trip came along and everybody in the office was excited, including Mark. However, the Friday before we were set to leave, Mark didn't show up to work.

I texted him and asked him what was wrong and he told me that he must have had a very bad stomach bug. I asked him if he was going to be better by the time we left for the trip, and he said he wouldn't. I was bummed that Mark wasn't going to be able to go, but I didn't think it would stop me from having a good time while I was there. There are plenty of other people in the office that I got on with. Saturday morning came and I said goodbye to my wife and left for the trip. I had a wonderful time while I was there and I never suspected that anything would have happened while I was gone. After all, my wife was home with our kids. I texted Mark a couple of times during the weekend just to make sure he was all right. He told me that he was still in bed trying to recover, but he appreciated me checking in.

I sent him a few funny pictures and videos of things that were happening while we were there. I got home from the trip Sunday night and was relaxing with my kids and telling them an abridged version of what happened over the weekend. My wife was always somewhat of a busybody. Relaxing was difficult for her in general, and she would often be going around the house and picking up toys and blankets and things like that to keep it tidy. The house was spotless when I came in, but she was still walking around and cleaning pointless things. In hindsight, I think she just didn't want to talk to me because she felt guilty. It was getting late, so I scooped up my kids and brought them to their rooms to tuck them in and say good night since I missed them the

past couple of days. While I was kissing my son on the forehead, he asked me if Uncle Mark was going to be coming over again. First, I thought, I thought, he thought he was asking because he hadn't seen him in a while and missed him. I told him that I didn't know when Mark would be coming over again. Then he told me that the day before Mark promised him he would be seeing him soon. I clarified with him and asked him if he had seen Mark the day before, and he confirmed it. I had no idea why Mark was at my house. When I was texting him, he told me that he was at home and recovering from the stomach bug. If he was at my house, that would mean that he lied to me. My suspicions were immediately raised because he wouldn't have lied to me

about going to my house unless he was doing something he shouldn't have done. We were good friends and I trusted both him and my wife. If he needed to stop by my house for something, I would have understood. When I got to my bedroom I mentioned to my wife what our son had said. She shrugged it off saying that he must have been mistaken and he might have been talking about a couple of weeks ago when Mark was over. My son was four years old. My son was four years old. He was a at the time, so I doubted he would mention it if it was so long ago. I believed my son more than I believed my wife at the moment. However, I didn't have anything to prove my suspicions, so I dropped it. I went back to the office the following Tuesday morning and Mark was there,

looking just as good as you ever did. I was still suspicious, so I checked in with him to see how his weekend went. He confirmed to me once again that he was home resting all weekend long. My gut was telling me that there was something seriously wrong and I needed to get to the bottom of it. A few nights later, my wife left her phone in the living room while she went to do the dishes, so I snuck off to the bathroom with it. I hated going through her things, but I felt like I was being lied to and I needed to know what the truth was. I looked through the text message conversation between her and Mark to see if there was anything suspicious. There were a lot of deleted messages between them. My mind wandered to everything that could have been in those messages.

I did not doubt at that point that it was evidence of an affair. I was able to type in a Pasco to look at her hidden album and I found a lot of pictures of her naked. I found a few other pictures of a man whose face wasn't in the image, but I recognized a couple of tattoos as ones that Mark had. I was right to be suspicious after what our son had said. She did have Mark over and they must have slept together while I was away for the weekend. I could only imagine that Mark faked being sick because he knew that there would be a window where he could be with my wife without having to worry about me. What angered me the most about all of this was the fact that they did it while my children were home. My son remembered

seeing Mark there over the weekend. I didn't know the exact details about it, but was furious. I put my wife's phone back before she noticed anything and I went to bed early. I needed to think about what I wanted to do moving forward. I was going to divorce my wife and I wanted nothing to do with Mark in the future. Whether that meant somehow getting him fired or finding a new job myself, I didn't know. All I knew was that I wanted to get back at both of them. I knew that Mark liked to flirt at the office, so I thought I might be able to do something with that. In particular, there was an assistant that he would often flirt with. The following day in the break room around lunch, he was flirting with her once again, touching her on the shoulder and laughing with her.

It wasn't anything harmful, but under the right circumstances, it could be seen in a different light. I suddenly took a couple of pictures of them while they were close together for later. When Mark left to go to a meeting, I talked to the assistant and I asked her if she felt uncomfortable around Mark sometimes. She looked at me kind of confused, it was obvious from some of their conversations that she was into him as well. She told me that she wasn't uncomfortable. I planted a seed in her head that how much she flirted with her and touched her could be considered sexual harassment. She nodded her head like she was thinking about it for the first time. That same day, I went to our hour department

and filed a formal complaint that I thought Mark's behavior was inappropriate. It was anonymous, so he would never know that it was me. The following day everything was going normally and he was pulled into the hour department for a meeting. Whenever things like that happen, people will either assume you're getting reprimanded for something or you're getting a raise. The very next day we had a sexual harassment seminar in the workplace. Mark was publicly brought into the hour office just the day before, so everybody started putting the pieces together and thinking that Mark was responsible for the seminar.

With all the conversations and rumors, the assistant he was hitting on started telling people that he made her uncomfortable and the narrative of Mark sexually harassing people at work took full form. Word got back to him and eventually, he came to me and asked me about it. He trusted that I would be honest with him about what people were saying. I told him that I didn't know what to believe. After all, he was sleeping with my wife so he clearly couldn't be trusted. He was shocked that I said that, probably surprised to learn that I even knew about it. The talk didn't stop in the office and Mark eventually put in his two weeks notice because he felt so uncomfortable. Meanwhile, I found an amazing divorce attorney and I served my wife with papers a few days

before Mark quit his job. She was completely shocked by the news when she got it. She had no idea I knew about her and Mark being together. She tried to make me out as a villain for leaving her and the kids. I told her I had no intention of leaving the kids, just her. We got our divorce and because she cheated she wasn't awarded any spousal support. She was forced to go live with her mother and look for another job. I got full custody of the kids, the judge did not like that she was having an affair with the kids in the house so blatantly. She still has visitation rights to them though.

It hurts the most when I think about how it wasn't just one person that I lost in all of this. I thought of Mark like a brother and he and my wife both stabbed me in the back. I have a lot of stuff to work on for myself before I even consider dating in the future. I hope you enjoy this story. My female sibling prohibited my child in a rolling chair from attending her marriage ceremony as she believed he would spoil the pictures. After her spouse discovered this information several months after the fact, she accused me of causing discord in her marriage.

Hey, everyone. So I'm 35, female, and my sister Carol, name change. is 29, female, and she got married about four months ago. I was, unfortunately, not invited to the wedding and neither was the rest of my family. It was very disappointing for me because all my life, Carol and I have always been close, but for some reason, around the time of her wedding, she started turning into a total bridezilla. If I'm being honest, she started acting very differently as soon as she had a ring on her finger, and within a couple of months, around the time the invitations were being sent out, she contacted me to let me know that I wouldn't be

receiving one because of my son's wheelchair condition. It was incredibly insensitive and disrespectful of her, so I didn't even make a big deal out of it or anybody. I just decided to cut her out of my life completely after that incident. I have two kids, my 12-year-old son and my 8-year-old daughter and both of them had been pretty close with their aunt, so this had been a huge shock to me. My son had been in an accident about two years ago and unfortunately, he has been in a wheelchair ever since because of the severity of his injuries. He has been undergoing physiotherapy, and we are hopeful that one day, he'll be able to walk unaided once again.

But until then, he has the wheelchair and I think people should be respectful of that. And when Carol called me up a couple of months ago and told me that she had made up her mind that she was not going to be inviting me and the rest of my family to the wedding because of my son, I realized that she and I have turned into very different people, and there was no going back after this. I had obviously been very surprised because even the explanation that she had offered for something like this was just so lame and stupid. She had told me that she was concerned about how her wedding photos would turn out if my son was invited because she believed that him being in that wheelchair would ruin the pictures. I mean, there was a pretty easy solution to that. She could just ask

the photographer to avoid including my son in the pictures if that's really what she wanted. But I did not bother to make that suggestion because even that, in itself, was pretty insensitive and a horrible way to think. So after that phone call with her, I told her that I was completely fine with not being invited to the wedding and I left it at that. After that, I didn't really mention that to anyone apart from my husband because I knew that if I spoke about this to other people, there would be a lot of drama and that's something that I wanted to avoid, given the sensitive nature of the topic.

I didn't want my son to be dragged into any of this, so I let it go. In the months leading up to the wedding, even though I knew that I wasn't invited, I put up a happy front whenever I was around my parents and Carol. She did the same as well, so people were quite surprised when I did not turn up at her wedding and a lot of folks reached out to me to ask why I hadn't been there. Even then, I did not tell anybody the truth and I just told them that my father-in-law had fallen really ill and our family needed to be there for him, so I couldn't attend. and nobody asked any further questions, including my parents and my brother-in-law, Kevin.

Things only came to light recently, when all of us reunited for my cousin's engagement party. Since we were all in one place, Kevin decided to corner my husband and me at one point and told us that he had been really disappointed that we hadn't turned up at the wedding, and neither had we shown up afterward. He said that he could understand that my father-in-law was unwell and that's why I couldn't attend, but he expressed his disappointment with the fact that even after the wedding, we hadn't bothered to interact with them and since we had had a good relationship, he couldn't understand this behavior. And that was true, Kevin and I had always been on good terms in the past since

Carol had been with him for almost four years before they decided to get married. So just like my husband, even he had pretty much become a part of the family and we had been good friends. I tried to apologize to him and tell him that we would make it up to him somehow because I did not want to talk about the real reason that I hadn't attended or been in touch with them and I kept trying to dismiss it, but he wouldn't budge. He insisted that he knew for a fact that there was something wrong and he wanted to know if he had been the one who had done something to offend us or whatever. Kevin is a generally sweet guy, so after a certain point, my husband and I just decided that we were going to tell him the truth about the real reason we had decided not to attend because

he deserved an explanation. Also, I really didn't want him to think that he had messed up somehow and that's why we hadn't attended because then, he would end up blaming himself. So I told him about the phone call that I had received from Carol a couple of months before their wedding and how she had told me that she did not want me there with the rest of my family because of my son. I told him that I did not want to create any drama before the wedding, which is why I'd kept it all to myself for the past few months and since I'm really sensitive about my son, it was difficult for me to even talk about this. He was shocked when I told him the reason and he told me that he could totally understand why I hadn't brought it up with anyone

and why I'd chosen to stay away from Carol ever since this happened. Kevin even went on to apologize to me on his wife's behalf and told me that if he had any idea that she was going to say something like this, he would have put a stop to it before she could even consider making that phone call. He was extremely apologetic about the whole thing and for the rest of the party. I could see that Carol was shooting me dirty looks because the entire time after our conversation, Kevin was sitting with me and my husband and ignoring her. He was by our side the entire time, and I could tell that he was very disturbed by what he had just learned. I don't even blame him, even I would be really horrified if I had found out that my partner

had been acting this way with their own sister. Anyway, after the party was over, all of us headed home and I really didn't think that I would have to discuss this again so soon, but here we are. Yesterday, almost three days after the party, my parents called me and told me that they had found out the real reason why I hadn't attended my sister's wedding and said that they did not want to get involved in this but they just wanted to warn me that Carol was extremely upset because ever since I told Kevin the truth. He has been insisting that she go for therapy because he believes that she is extremely cruel and heartless. They have been fighting nonstop because Carol thinks that she did the right thing because otherwise, her wedding would have been a bust,

which is just a really stupid thing to think. And I'm definitely with Kevin on this, I do agree that she's really cruel. My parents said that they did not want to take any sides, but they just wanted me to know that she was blaming me for sabotaging her wedding by telling Kevin what had happened all those months ago and trying to turn him against me just to get revenge.

I personally think that it's ridiculous that she's blaming me and my parents did say that they did not want to take any sides at least four or five times starting our conversation, but for some reason, it does feel like they agree with Carol and that's why they had called me to tell me about how she was feeling in the first place. I have spoken to my husband about it and he doesn't think that I have anything to feel

sorry about, but I just want to get a second opinion. I'd offer telling my sister's husband the real reason why I hadn't attended their wedding and throwing her under the bus. Update 1, hey, so I decided to talk to my parents about this situation in general because it was really bugging me that they had tried so hard to make it seem like they were not going to, and yet, in spite of that, they had made it a point to reach out to me and tell me about what Carol was going through. Even though they really didn't have to do that. If Carol had wanted me to know, she could have just reached out to me herself, and we would have dealt with it amongst ourselves.

If my parents did not want to get involved, they could have just chosen not to get involved at all. I don't know why, but it just felt like a tactic to make me feel guilty for telling Kevin the truth and creating trouble in their marriage. So I decided to ask them about their intentions and just confront them because I needed to know what was going on. So I visited them earlier today and I told them what had been going on in my mind. Initially, they denied everything and they just told me that they did not want their two daughters to be fighting so they just thought that they would tell me what was going on with Carol and maybe I would take the initiative to sort it out. That was also very confusing because if they really wanted somebody to take the initiative to sort it out or whatever, it meant that they were indirectly getting involved.

And they could have told Carol to try and talk to me instead of coming to me themselves, so that really did not make sense to me and the fact that they were trying to manipulate me was really annoying, so I told them to be honest with me because I'm not a fool and I could figure out what they were thinking. After that, my parents decided that they were going, to be honest, and told me that a part of them did believe that it was kind of my fault for telling Kevin the truth because I really did not have any reason to do so. Months have passed since that incident and everyone is over it now, so I had no reason to dig it all back up and create trouble in her otherwise happy marriage just to get back at her. I found that very offensive because honestly, I had no such intention of creating trouble in

her marriage or whatever. I was not going to gain anything from doing something like that, and it was insulting that my parents also thought that I was trying to do that. I didn't mind that Carol was trying to make it look like that because obviously, she was the one who had created the situation so she was going to do whatever it took to make herself look like the victim. So I expected this from her, but not from my parents, especially after they kept harping on about how they did not want to pick sides. I got really upset, and I told my parents that if this was what they thought of me, it was a very obvious that they were on Carroll's side and not on mine. I also told him that it was

really insensitive of them to think that I was the bad guy for telling Kevin the truth and completely overlooking the truth itself, which was just horrible. I also told them that I wouldn't have told Kevin the truth if he hadn't insisted on getting to know what had gone wrong that day, but now since everything was out anyway. At least I knew where my parents' priorities were. They did not seem to care in the slightest about the fact that their younger daughter had said that she did not want their grandson at her wedding for something that was totally out of his control. My parents knew for a fact that I was really sensitive about my son and his injuries because that was a really traumatic time for the entire family.

And for them not to care about something like this, it was just crazy and I couldn't believe that they were being so nonchalant about it and trying to make me look like I was overreacting. They tried to argue with me and tell me that they did care about their grandson, but ultimately, it was Carol's wedding and if she didn't want our family there because of the wheelchair situation, they couldn't help it and they believed that she was perfectly within her rights to not invite certain people. And I do agree with that, she was perfectly within her rights to not invite us, but I'm also perfectly within my rights to take offense at that. And if I decided that I was going to distance myself from her and never speak to her again because of this, even that was completely

fine. Most importantly, if I decided that I was going to tell her husband what she had done to prevent us from attending the wedding, even that should be totally fine with everyone because if she had made a decision, she should have the guts to stand by it. My parents started telling me that I was making a huge deal out of this and told me that I had no reason to talk to Kevin about what had happened and create drama out of nothing, even after I brought up all these valid points. After that, I did not see any reason to continue talking to them, and I just left because it was obvious that they were picking sides now and I just didn't want any part of it. I came back home about an hour ago and discussed this with my husband and he told me that he was glad that I had decided to take a stand for

myself, not just by confronting my parents today, but also by telling Kevin the truth earlier. So now, nobody else's opinion matters to me anymore. Update 2, I had blocked Carol everywhere recently because I really did not want her to be able to contact me. It's been about a week since the party and three days since I had my fight with my parents. Currently, everyone is blocked because I'm really not interested in speaking to any of them. Everyone except for Kevin, of course. He and I haven't spoken yet since the party but I don't see any reason to block him either. Anyway, since I had blocked everyone, Carol decided to reach out to my son on Instagram and tell

him to put her in touch with me because she needed to discuss certain things with me. I was not very happy about it when I found out from my son that she had reached out to him. He was also pretty confused himself because for the past couple of months, we have hardly even spoken about or spoken to his aunt and even though he doesn't know exactly what had gone wrong, he still has a slight clue that things are not well between us. He might be a kid, but he's really bright and picks up on all these things, and in the past few months, he has asked me about what's going on with me and my sister several times and I've always managed to dodge but this time. He started to insist on finding out what was going on because

Carol had mentioned that I had blocked her and my son knew that it was an extreme step, so he told me that he really needed to know what was going on. At first, I thought that I wasn't going to tell him, but then, I decided not to keep any secrets from him. So I told him about the real reason that we had skipped his aunt's wedding, and I knew that it would hurt him, but I couldn't hide things like this from him forever. And I was also kind of afraid that if I didn't tell him, he might have found out some other way because even if they can't get to me, they can still get to my son. He's turning 13 in a few months, so I thought that he was old enough to figure out whether

he wanted to maintain a relationship with his aunt after this or not on his own. I wanted him to be able to make that choice and so, I thought it would be better to just let him know. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect after I told him what his aunt had said because I know that even if I'm the one who's very sensitive about the injury and stuff, he's obviously going to be ten times more sensitive about it himself. Surprisingly, though, he took it quite sportingly. He told me that he was really thankful that I had kept this information from him for such a long

time, even though he kept insisting on finding out. And he also thanked me for letting him know at this point since the curiosity of the entire situation had kind of been getting on his nerves. But now that he knows the real reason that we had skipped his aunt's wedding and hadn't been in touch with her for so long, he can totally understand why I had blocked her. I obviously tried my best to make sure that he was fine because I did not want him to feel like he was being rejected by his family and I even had a lot of second thoughts about telling him in the first place because I felt like I had burdened him with this unnecessary information.

But the more that I spoke to him, the more I realized that my son was a lot more mature than I thought and he told me that eventually, he definitely would have found out somehow because this fallout seems like something the family isn't going to be easily able to move on from. He also told me that maybe other children in his position wouldn't have liked to hear something like this, but he preferred honesty because he has dealt with enough trauma for a lifetime so far. This kind of petty behavior doesn't really phase him anymore. Hearing him talk about this and putting on such a brave face, even though I knew for a fact that him and Carol used to get along earlier, made me really happy because I knew that my husband

and I had raised him right. So I'm honestly very glad that I decided to be honest and transparent with him at this point. Ever since this has happened, I've tried to gauge if he's actually okay with everything or if he's just putting on a front for our sake, and it seems like he really doesn't care what his aunt thinks. I know that deep down, he must be hurting a little at least, but we are all there for him. Obviously, I love him, his dad loves him, and most importantly, his sister is always there for him. He has friends who have never left his side and have always tried to include him in everything. His teachers are also exceptionally kind to him, and I know that with time, all his wounds will heal. Be it the physical ones or the emotional ones, I know that he will be just fine.

And even if he isn't, we will all still be there for him and that's something that I'm certain about. Update 3, hey. So before I start talking about what has happened, I would just like to address some concerns that people had about my decision to tell my son the truth. My son and I have always had a very open and transparent relationship and my parents, my husband, and I believe that honesty really is the way to go. For his benefit, I had tried my best to hide the truth from him for a really long time because I didn't want to hurt him, but now that he had insisted upon it, I felt obliged to tell him because even if he hadn't found out from us. He might have spoken to his grandparents or whatever and eventually things like this do tend to come out in ugly ways. And it would have

been much worse if Carol herself had decided to tell him, and it wouldn't have been unlikely because she had already reached out to him to tell him that I had blocked her. So who knows? She might have gone ahead and told him the reason for our fight as well, because she clearly did not have any qualms about dragging him into something that he was not involved in. And I know that she doesn't have the sensitivity to deal with these things, so it was better for him to hear it from us rather than anyone else. I stand by the decision that I have made, and as long as my family is fine with it, I think it's okay to have dealt with it the way that I chose to. Anyway, now coming to what happened with Carol this evening.

My family and I had all been at home and Carol showed up all of a sudden. I knew that there was some drama about to go down, so I decided to send my kids to hang out with the neighbors because in case Carol decided to say anything weird, I didn't want them to be able to hear it. As soon as the kids had left, she started telling me that she was very upset about my decision to talk to Kevin about what had happened and said that I had no reason to do that. She said that she thought it was really vindictive and petty of me. And now, because of me, she hadn't even been able to speak to Kevin properly for the past couple of days because he refused to entertain any discussion with her until she agreed to go to therapy. Every time that she tried to talk to him

and explain herself, he would just end the discussion or walk away from it or it would inevitably end up in a fight and she was getting sick of it. She also felt that he had gotten sick of her as well, and had started actively avoiding her by coming back home as late as possible, just so that he wouldn't have to interact with her after work. Personally, I really didn't see anything wrong with what he was doing, and I probably would have acted the same way. And after she was done venting, I told her that none of this was my fault. I refused to be held responsible for something that I hadn't done and I told her that if she had just been a good person, she wouldn't have had to be worried about her own actions. It was her guilty conscience that she was projecting onto me by calling me vindictive,

petty and vengeful, and whatnot. Deep down, she knew that she was the one who had messed up, but she was not ready to accept it, so she was trying to make me out to be the bad guy here and pinning the entire blame of the situation on me. I thought that she was going to argue more after that and she seemed ready to come up with some reply, but all of a sudden, she just broke down and started sobbing on my couch. My husband and I were both. really surprised because we definitely didn't expect that we just stood there awkwardly while she cried because we didn't even know what to do, it was so unexpected. Eventually, I decided to go and sit beside her but did not console her or say anything. I just sat there beside her and

waited for her to calm down a little. And then, eventually, she started apologizing and told me that I was right and she had realized a while ago that it had been really insensitive and disrespectful of her to say what she had said. Also, the reason that she had been taking it so hard was because now that Kevin knew the truth, he had decided to put their plans of having a baby on hold indefinitely and that's why he wanted her to go to therapy because he thought that the way that she had treated her nephew was so heartless, he couldn't trust her to be a good mother right now. That had really shattered her because she had been totally ready to become a mother and had been looking forward to it ever since she got married. But now, it seems quite unlikely to happen

any time soon in the future and that's why she's been so frustrated and angry about everything. And instead of facing the situation, she had been trying to run away from it and find a scapegoat of sorts. So far, it had been me, but the more that she thought about it, the more she failed to find anybody to blame but herself for how things had turned out and she told me that she was really sorry about everything. At that point, I didn't know what to say, because I had been expecting another huge fight but she was apologizing to us now. So eventually, my husband and I just looked at each other and told her that we did forgive her, but we really would suggest she get therapy because obviously, her behavior in the recent past

had been quite unreasonable and disturbing. It really wasn't like her to act like this and maybe Kevin did have a point. She was probably not ready to be a mother yet. It was harsh, but to the point, and then, she cried some more after that, and I finally did console her a little because I felt bad for her, but after that, while she was leaving, I told her that I would still like to stay no contact for a while. I wasn't over everything that had happened and I guess she understood that, so she just didn't say anything about it and told me that she would keep her distance from me.

I don't know what's going to happen in the future if we are ever going to be able to reconcile or not, but for now, I'm content with how things are. I haven't spoken to my parents since I had my fight with them, and even if I do end up reconciling with my sister, I don't think I'll be doing the same with them. With my parents, it was never a very clear-cut case of a golden child, but they did have a soft spot for Carol always, and they tried to keep it subtle. But over the years, I have picked up on certain things, and I know that, according to them, since I'm older, I'm always supposed to make all these sacrifices and do all the forgiving and just be generally more lenient. But I don't

think I'm going to be playing that role anymore. For me, nothing is more important than my family and by that, I mean my husband and my kids. So if people don't value them, it means that they don't value me because we are one unit and I'm not forgiving anybody who has been disrespectful towards my son anytime soon. After his aunt had left, I did tell him that she had apologized for whatever she had said, and now, it's up to my son, whether he wants to forgive her or not. He did tell me that it doesn't bother him, whether she apologized or not because he had decided that he's not going to let anything affect him in the first place, so the apology really doesn't make any difference and he's fine with whatever. I think that's a nice and chill way to go about it, but he's still young,

so I don't know how long he'll feel that way. Update 4, hey. So there has been a huge development and I've been sharing it everywhere, so I decided to share it here as well. It's been three years since I posted my last update and recently, my son has been able to start walking with the help of crutches. He still needs some help getting better, slowly, but surely. Of course, he still does need the wheelchair when he gets exhausted, but we have been told that we can hope for more progress eventually and maybe someday soon, he'll be able to walk again without any help. It is a really exciting time for our family and we are overjoyed. Carol and I are not exactly in touch constantly like we used to be earlier, but we do speak sometimes. Like recently, I did reach out to her to

congratulate her on the baby and a couple of weeks ago, she reached out to congratulate me on the progress that my son had made when I shared it on social media. Yeah, she finally had a baby with Kevin, they had been in counseling and were gradually able to work things out. Things are not the same between us anymore, but she has apologized to both me and my son and maybe someday we will be able to go back to how we used to be. But this works for now. My parents and I are still not on talking terms and I'm totally fine with that, I'm happy with my life. And now that my son is getting better, I'm even happier than before. I hope you enjoy this story. My relative's spouse continued to gaze at me and took action. When I informed my relatives, they accused me of falsehood and now

they are all avoiding me, so I had to confront him. I, 23F, have lived with my cousin Rose and her husband Dumbo, both 33, for over a year for economical reasons. We have had a lot of issues, but I could handle them. Six months ago I began to realize that Dumbo was looking at me more. I've always been sure to wear appropriate clothing in front of him and I've never even been without a bra outside of my room. Even so I noticed that his eyes were going to other places constantly like my boobs, ass or more below. I thought that it was just my imagination but just in case I started wearing around the house oversized hoodies and sweatpants and nothing body fitting. But I still'd noticed that when we would have conversations he would deliberately

stare at other places. One night as I was lying on the couch laughing at a video on my phone he came up to me, asked what I was laughing at and before I could answer he bent down and put his head on my boobs at an angle he could look at the phone screen. I was in shock and I am ashamed that I just let it happen. That's when I knew I had to tell someone, especially my parents, but I didn't have the courage, so I stuck it out. More comments were made but the one that disgusted me the most was when he said, Hey, is it me or have your boobs gotten bigger? I asked why the F he was looking at me that way and that he was so off for that,

but he just laughed. I got the courage to tell my stepmom and dad and they were both shocked. They said that I needed to move out ASAP and that I also needed to talk to Rose about Dumbo's behavior and I would also need to talk to Dumbo. It took a bit of pushing, but I finally got the nerve to sit down with Rose and tell her everything that had happened and this was the reason I was moving. She said that she would talk to him, but in the end this was my problem with him and I needed to fix it. I thought that after she spoke to him he would come to me and apologize or say something at least,

but that never happened. Two days after I told Rose that I was expecting an apology on his behalf, and I was going to talk to him myself about everything. She said that would be useless because he said he was never going to talk to me again as he claims he did nothing and apologizing would mean him owning up to what I claimed happened, that both of them were going to wait until my dad was back in town so he could solve everything. He claims that I am just trying to put my family against him and ruin his reputation. I left to go to work after that. But in my mental state I forgot something and when I came back I caught her talking to her mom them talking about how they didn't believe anything I had said and that the three of them. them would tell my parents that I'm trying to divide the family. With three people ganging up

against me I am worried that they'll manage to change my parents' mind. I think I fucked up by bringing this whole thing up, I may have just ruined my whole relationship with everyone, possibly ruined a marriage, and in the end I'm starting to even doubt my own judgment on what could have just been a misunderstanding. I fucked up by not staying quiet. I'll update if it's requested. Comments where OPP has replied. Commenter 1, stick to your guns. You don't need anyone who won't stand by you when you tell the truth. You know who they are now.

OOP, I know the truth. But man when it's three people including the wife of this Dumbo trying to bring you down its heart. Thanks for your words. Commenter 2, you could probably reconstruct when this happened from your phone history. If possible, similarly figure out the dates and times of other instances of harassment. These things are more convincing when they're documented with times, especially if, for example, they always happen during your cousin's working hours and days. If nothing else, it'll feel good to have it solidly documented. And more easily shared if you ever need to do so to defend yourself from accusations of slander.

I don't primarily mean legally here but socially, just in case that's unclear. OOP, I only noticed six months ago. What I can say for anyone who wants details is that he only does this when my cousin isn't close by, for instance, when she's in the room or bathroom. I have noted down for myself all the situations I have remembered because I wanted to be as sure as possible before bringing to light something this delicate. It's just when it's three against one you begin to doubt yourself. Update 1, November 2, 2024. Well, I'd like to say thank you to everyone that took the time to comment on my last post. it's because of you that I finally saw that I was not fucking up even though now my relationship

with basically my whole family is. Unfortunately the result was not a pretty one. I spoke to my parents and the whole conversation was just off. To begin with, they don't understand why it took me so long to speak up. I tried explaining that for me this is a very sensitive topic and on top of that I was scared of how everyone would react. Second, it is well known that I usually have a very serious. strong attitude and don't have an issue with telling people to fuck off or standing up for myself,

which in their eyes makes it strange that I wasn't able to do that with Dumbo. Yes, I don't have a problem with doing that to people that have no major impact on my life and to be honest even today I am asking myself why I didn't react this way with him, although I wanted to, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But I also know that if I did Dumbo and Rose would run off to my parents complaining about how disrespectful I am and it would have been messy either way. Third, they say things don't add up because in the end I never took their advice which was to remove myself from the situation and second to have a conversation with Rose and Dumbo.

I have found a nice place to live as of December 1st and I spoke to Rose as I honestly didn't want, nor did I feel comfortable speaking to her husband in the beginning. Like I said in the first post, when I told Rose I was going to speak to Dumbo she said no because he wasn't going to listen and she agrees that we have nothing to talk about. I explained this to my parents but they weren't having it. They said that I need to face Dumbo as he is the one causing the issue for me. I told them very clearly that I wasn't going to force him to sit down and listen to me, but according to them that is exactly what I should be doing.

My dad says that at the end of the day, I don't know what Dumbo's intentions were and this won't get solved until he and I talk it out. That a lot of people look at me and it's not that big of a deal. He's angry that I've done nothing to solve this matter myself, and even if I know that Dumbo won't listen that that's not the point, the point is trying. I reminded him that he wasn't just looking, it was constant comments, staring and putting his head on my boobs. I told him once again that I wasn't going to force a grown man to listen to me. But he kept on saying that I wasted their time by not taking their advice. Finally, my parents ended it by saying that because I haven't been transparent with.

with them and it seems like I basically wasted their time then that is how they'd like to keep our relationship. With a wall up. I had prepared myself to take a step back from my parents if needed. But the fact that they did it because I wasted their time just hurts. I feel like they went into this convo with the mindset of not believing me and nothing I could have said would have changed that. Just the fact that they're telling me to force this man that's 10 years older than me to sit down

and listen knowing damn well that because I don't want to be alone. with him his wife would have to be there and she'd be jumping down my throat every two seconds is like telling me to flip a hot pancake with no gloves and to try to not get burnt. Knowing damn well that I will. He never offered to be moderator. I had a feeling that this would have been the result. So in a way I do feel like I did fuck up. In the end, Rose and Dumbo are perfectly happy, or so it seems, they both still have a great relationship with my parents. My relationship with all of them is messed up and I'm feeling pretty depressed. Once I move out completely I will be in a better mental state.

I won't have any toxic people in my life. I'll be saving money as the new place is a lot cheaper and most importantly I know that I still have people that love and support me even if it's very few. Once again, thank you to everyone that gave me words of support on my last post, it means so much. Update 2, November 9th, 2024. I didn't expect to be updating again, I thought that everything had ended when my parents blocked me, but no. Since my last post, my parents still have me blocked, but only on social media. They have been calling me since and telling me that it's up to me to make this right.

That basically my entire family is mad at me for trying to destroy the family dynamics, that because I still haven't confronted Dumbo. They all think that I am lying in blue what could have been a simply awkward moment into a big deal so that I could have a proper reason to move out and be independent. According to them, unless I speak to Dumbo face to face I will have proven their theory of simply lying

to get out of the house with anyone questioning it. They have made it clear that they think I have fucked up by bringing this to light and if I choose not to confront Dumbo they will proceed to have me blocked and will have me marked as a liar. Oh my God, the pressure I have been under to speak to this man has been making me sick at this point. Yes, I could simply block my parents on everything as well, but that wouldn't stop them from showing up to my house, and I'm too much of a coward to do so anyway. Even though I'm freaking out, I have decided to talk to Dumbo tonight once I get the courage to do

so, just to get my parents off my back, because I can't handle another phone call with them where they accuse me of being a liar. Deep down I know I didn't fuck up by telling my family about Dumbo harassing me, but I swear to God that if I had known everything that was to come out of this I would have simply moved out and kept my mouth shut. Any advice is needed and I deeply appreciate those that personally messaged to check up on me after my first post. Comments where Op has replied. Commenter 1. I am genuinely so fucking sorry this is happening to you. I don't have much in the way of advice but I hope you know that you're not in. the wrong and you're not a bad person for speaking up. Don't let them tell you otherwise.

Boop, I'm freaking the fuck out, I really don't feel comfortable talking to this guy, but on the other hand if I don't, the only family I have here will basically turn on me. I'm locked in my room till I get the courage in to talk to him. Commenter too, do not talk to this person alone, but also not with your family they are shit and will gang up on you. Please bring an outside friend and record it if you can. You really shouldn't even talk to this person and be moved on to your own place and have everyone blocked they are not looking out for you. Stay safe and good luck. Oop, I'll be recording everything. Update 3, November 10th, 2024. To begin, I'd like to thank all of those that have given me advice and shown support during this hard time. It's given me

more strength than you know. I've been asked some questions so I'll answer. answer a few. 1. Why did I wait six months to bring this up? This is a very serious accusation to bring up. I wanted to be absolutely sure that I wasn't imagining anything and that I was sure of this. I was also terrified of how my family would react. Two, why didn't I speak to Dumbo from the very beginning? I didn't have the courage and didn't know how he'd react so I went to my parents for guidance. Three, why didn't I bring this up until after I moved out. Simple, I thought my parents would have my back. Now to the update. After my last post, I spoke to Dumbo. Even though many advised me not to, I caved and I confronted him. I recorded

the entire conversation like many suggested and even made sure to send it to a few people just in case. Dumbo was quiet the whole time I spoke and apologized even though he admits he stands by the fact he did nothing. His wife, my cousin, Rose, was laughing, snorting and making side remarks the whole time. The urge to tell her to fuck off was big, but I didn't want to make things worse for myself. The conclusion of our talk was this. They don't want to move on from this, but we will be civil, we will keep communication to a minimum until and after I move, he will make sure to never be alone around me and lastly that our conversation was basically pointless and that even if I had spoken to him first place like everyone said. He says the result still would have been the same

meaning we would all be divided. I told my parents all of this this morning as they wanted to know how the talk went, and even though I told them this was all said by Dumbo, they still said that I was trying to justify my reasons for not wanting to have the conversation with him. And basically they think I only caved into this to prove that I wasn't lying, because in the end, I never showed any signs of abuse or said anything. They have made good. They have made clear that I have dived the whole family and that it's going to take time for them to heal from the pain and distress I have caused and that in the future, my family may or may not reach out to me again. After all of this, my biggest fuck-up was how I went about this. I should have waited

until I was in my new place and away from these people, at least that way a lot of this could have been avoided. Many have said that because I am 23 I am old enough to deal with this alone, to those who said this, thank you, I have learned that family will not always be there to back you up. Speaking up will never be a fuck up, but the way you go about things most definitely can be, as you can see here. If I had done, said or acted in few different ways I think the outcome could have been a bit different. In the end, I know I still have people that love and support me, my move-out date is just around the corner and eventually my mental health will be okay. In the meantime I will focus on packing and being around those I love.

Thank you once again for all your support. This will be my final update. Comments where Ope has replied. Ope want her parents not believing her at all. Ope, you honestly couldn't have said it better. They have their minds set on what they believe. I'm not going to waste my time trying to change it, it's been shown that no matter what happens they find a way to make this my fault.

Commenter 1, the way your parents still found a way to turn what Dumbo said as you making excuses for yourself is incredible. Unfortunately family won't always stand by you and I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, at least there are still people that love you. I'm sure you haven't had time to properly process this whole shit show, but please, once you move out and settle in, please take the time to grieve. In the end this is still a loss. Sending you so much support and I'm proud of you. Ope, thank you for your support, with time I will take time and process. Next story Stayed silent for two months and collected evidence after finding out my wife was cheating.

She's mad when I confronted her, but I felt nothing. Hello everyone. My 30M, wife, 34F, and I have been together for eight years, five of them married. I thought we were the kind of couple that could tell each other any problem. I loved her deeply and always believed she felt the same way about me. Like many couples, we had our ups and downs, but I never thought it could lead to infidelity. For months ago, I started noticing changes in her behavior. She was more distant, always glued to the phone and avoiding our conversations, you know

the typical thing about a cheating person. Well, one day, I came across a message on her phone that confirmed what I feared the most, she was seeing someone else. It was like a punch in the stomach. I felt anger, sadness, and an overwhelming sense of betrayal. But instead of confronting her right away, I decided to wait. My main reason was to protect myself and a possible divorce. If I was going to face this situation, I wanted to have solid evidence, so I spent the next two months gathering messages, photos, and anything else I could use if things got legally difficult. During those two months, I pretended normality while the pain piled up.

I watched her act like everything was fine, and with each passing day, my feelings for her faded. The love I once felt was replaced by indifference. If anyone says that love for someone doesn't go away, well, it's not entirely true. When I finally gathered all the evidence, I confronted her. I showed her everything I knew, and although she tried to deny it at first, she finally admitted that she had been having an affair. She said it was a mistake, that she still loved me, and that she wanted to work things out. But by then, I didn't feel anything anymore. I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I didn't even get angry. I simply told her that it was okay,

that we could get a divorce, and that we could each move on with our lives. My lack of emotion baffled her. She said my indifference was cold and cruel, and that if I had truly loved her, I should have fought to save our marriage, which was ironic coming from her. But the truth was that I did love her very much. Only after two months of living with the betrayal in silence, I just didn't care. Wow. Honestly, I didn't expect the number of messages I've received in the last few hours. I apologize for not responding to the comments, but rest assured, I am reading them. My inbox is filled with hundreds of replies, and I'm truly surprised by the support and the number of people who took the time to share their experiences and opinions. At first, I felt overwhelmed

reading so many stories from people who have gone through similar situations, some even worse. I never imagined that so many people could relate to what I'm going through. I guess it's eye-opening to see that infidelity is more common than I thought. And yes, there were also comments that made me question if I disconnected emotionally too quickly, but after reflecting, I believe I did what I needed to do to protect myself. Some people told me I should have tried to save the marriage, but the truth is, I don't think I could have. The betrayal felt like a wall that went up between us, and once I saw everything clearly, there was no way to go back to what we hat. It's not that I don't want to love or be loved, it's just that the chapter with her is over

for me. Does that make me cruel? I don't know, but it's my truth. One of the most impactful things was seeing how many people are stuck in relationships where trust has been broken and they don't know how to move forward. To everyone who asked how I'm doing it, I don't have a definitive answer. For me, it was a slow process, day by day, watching the love fade until it was just gone. There were also some messages from people in my wife's position, those who had made mistakes but genuinely wanted to make things right. It made me think, what would have happened if I had confronted her before my feelings faded? Maybe things would have turned out differently, but honestly, I don't think so.

Once trust is broken like that, it's nearly impossible to go back to what it was. Anyway, I want to thank everyone who shared their words, whether they were supportive or critical. You've given me a lot to think about, and I'm grateful for that. I'm processing all of this little by little, but if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that, for the first time in months, I feel like I can breathe and look forward without the weight of what happened. Thanks again. Update 2, October 29, 2024. Hi, everyone, for those of you who don't know, I'm the guy whose wife cheated on him with someone else and he became indifferent.

I'm doing this mini update because many of you asked me to give one, but I'm lazy today, so don't expect a long one. Well, for starters, the divorce is in progress. The notice was delivered to her at one of her friend's houses, since the house we live in is mine, from my mother's side. Moving on to the divorce, she didn't take it well and called me to tell me that she would contest it, that we weren't getting a divorce. I didn't say anything, I just hung up because it bothered.

me to hear her voice at that moment. I read comments that say indifference is a way to protect yourself from strong emotions, and they were right. After a couple of days, I started thinking about the time invested in my marriage and I really got angry. For her, eight years of relationship was nothing to open her legs to another jerk. For those curious, her lover is someone older, maybe 40 or 47, and he has a wife and kid. I don't care if the idiot has a heart attack or something, my soon-to-be ex and that guy are just trash that came out of the same landfill. Sorry, I was getting angry as I was writing, so I took some time to calm down. Back to my soon-to-be ex, I really don't care if she decides to contest the divorce,

she's just making things harder for herself, since all of our assets are separate, including the house where I live. For the moment, that's all I can share with you. Thanks for your advice, and to all of you who commented that I should work things out with her, screw you. You don't decide for others, you just show that you have problems. I'd rather divorce a thousand times than stay with a traitor with no morals. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse once adored me for my true self. However, following her significant advancement, she began craving extravagance and labeling me a destitute fool. Now she has served me with separation documents and says she deserves better.

I never thought I'd be the one writing here, but I need to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice from people who've been through similar things. This is a long story, so bear with me. I've been married to Ella for ten years. We met in college, and it was one of those quick connections. One day we were talking about the stars in the sky and the next day we were going on our first date. I was a simple guy with big dreams but no definite plans for what I wanted to do. do in the future. But I knew that I didn't want to be a loser. Ella, on the other hand, was always ambitious. She was studying business, always had a clear path in mind, and seemed to have

her entire future mapped out. Despite our differences, we clicked. She loved my easygoing nature and my ability to find joy in the little things. We balanced each other out perfectly. I didn't need to go out of my way to impress her or bring close. costly gifts to keep her smiling. I'd give her a rose and she'd keep it safe until the petals fall off. Sometimes, even after that. After graduation, I took a job as a middle school teacher. It wasn't high paying, but I loved it. I enjoyed working with kids, and it gave me a sense of joy. I felt that teaching the young ones every day was a different kind of thrill and adventure. There is so much to learn from them.

Ella started working for a big corporation, quickly climbing the corporate ladder. She always supported my career choice, or at least I thought she did. She often told me how much she appreciated my passion for teaching and how it made her feel secure to know that I was making a difference in young lives. She was my inspiration. If she sets a goal, she doesn't rest until she achieves it. For the first few years, things were great. We lived in a small apartment, saved money where we could, and made the most of our time together. We didn't have much, but we had each other, and that seemed to be enough.

We would spend our weekends hiking, cooking together, or just lying on the couch with a good book or watching a movie. Life was simple and beautiful. As Ella's career began to take off, I couldn't have been prouder. Seeing her hard work and dedication pay off was a very happy feeling for her. for me. I remember the day she got her first big promotion. I came back from school and sat down with a bowl of popcorn when she burst through the door, her face lit up with excitement. She'd been promoted to a management position at her company, and it came with a very good raise. We celebrated that night by turning the TV volume up, dancing to Lady Gaga and downing the vodka

she bought on her way back home. We were so drunk that we couldn't find the way to our bedroom and slept on the carpet in the living room. The next day, our head was aching but the happiness of her achievement brought a smile to our faces. I even planned a date for us that weekend. We packed a picnic basket with homemade sandwiches, fresh fruit, and a bottle of her favorite wine. We drove out to a nearby park, a beautiful place with wide open spaces, tall trees, and the lake. We found a quiet spot under a large oak tree, spread out a blanket, and settled down for our picnic. We spoke about the day we met, our first date, and how far we have come. We spoke about our family, my future plans, and the kids at my school. I also wanted to mention to her that we must think about children

of our own, but I stopped myself. It's her moment. I didn't want to bring up the topic of a family when I was not sure if she was ready for it yet. That day was perfect. It was simple, cost almost nothing, and yet it was filled with genuine happiness. Ella seemed to enjoy it too. She told me how much she appreciated the effort I put into planning our day and how it reminded her of why she fell in love with me. But things started to change. About a year ago, Ella came back home and told me that her colleague was going on vacation to a very costly holiday destination. I nodded and went back to giving my students. I nodded and went back to giving my student scores on their assessment papers. She asked if we could also go on vacation

and I said yes. Why not, right? We booked our tickets and stays. She paid for all of it. I thought I'd spend on our food and other expenses during the trip. But I was very shocked by the kind of things she wanted. Because it was so unlike her. She wished to dine in very costly restaurants, hire an expensive car to go sightseeing, party every night in clubs, book luxury massages and spas. I paid for everything. A lady deserves the best holiday. If my wife wants it, I give it to her. It was a one-time thing anyway. When we got back from our vacation, Ella was the happiest I had ever seen her. She was very joyful for almost a month after that. But then, she came to me and asked to go on another vacation.

Firstly, I won't get a leave of absence at such short notice. I was gone for a week only a month ago. Also, I didn't have enough money to fund the trip. She wanted to go to Paris. That's very far away and I also had to think about my students' examinations. I had to complete teaching them the syllabus before the deadline. I respectfully told her that we should plan at some other time. She didn't argue and let it go.

But as time went on, things began to change. Ella's desire for a better lifestyle grew. She started talking about moving to an even bigger apartment and buying home decor items that we did not need. She suddenly wanted a walk-in wardrobe. She started spending her money on expensive shoes and I also gave her money to buy these satin sheets that were too overpriced. I couldn't help but feel a growing disconnect.

I say so because she no longer wanted to go on simple dates. We stopped our picnics, no longer had burgers at a food joint that we loved because someone told her it was very unhygienic and cheap. She didn't buy wine anymore and shifted to champagne. We did not cook together in the kitchen and ordered takeaway. She started sitting by her computer and having meals, always texting these new friends that I had never heard about. I thought it was a phase. But, I felt very bad that we were not spending enough time with each other.

One day, I asked her if she would go out with me. I wanted to go to this Asian food place that sold the best ramen and kimchi. I am a fan of the food. She immediately said no and argued that these places were not to her liking. anymore and that I should stop visiting such lowly places. I told her there is nothing lowly about food. She added that I often started conversing with the waiters or restaurant owners there and it was very embarrassing to her. She never felt embarrassed before. In fact, she'd join in the conversations and laugh around with them. I did not argue and asked her if she wanted to go

somewhere else then. She said that there was an office party that weekend and I should attend it with her. I agreed. But that night, we stayed in silence and said nothing to each other. Suddenly, we were attending high-end social events, networking parties, and dinners at expensive restaurants. Ella is a totally different person in these places. She's always engaging and charming, but I often felt out of place. I missed the simplicity. of our old life, the ease and comfort of just being ourselves. I missed the road trips, the camping under the stars, and the fun exploration of local attractions. We hardly spoke about things that we loved.

All she was interested in was that branded bag that her boss bought, the necklace her colleague's husband gifted her or how these kids of her friend were going to school with very high fees. During one of our conversations, she said that I should start thinking about my life and do something about it. In my opinion, I was doing just fine. I am happy where I am. When I said the same to her, she said if the kids were paying such high fees in those schools, the teachers would be paid well too. I should consider working in such places. I am very attached to my present workplace. I love my colleagues, the kids, the atmosphere, and I will never trade it for anything else. I received my share of promotions while I am at it, though they are very different from hers. I told her I didn't plan

to change and she lost her temper. We got into a very heated argument. That's when she said, I did not marry you to remain a poor idiot. She said that we had the means to do so much more, to live better. Why wouldn't I want that? Yes, I would want to live better. I want to earn more money and show the world to her. But lately, all she cared about was money and the temporary happiness that it offers. I wish to grow in my career to be successful in content. She wanted to do it to fill her bank balance and spend it as if she had no care in the world. After the promotion, she started spending time with a crowd that was nothing but showy. They do not understand the beauty of small joys in life. I tried to tell her that, but she became

very defensive and said that I cannot achieve anything in my life because I am not ready to leave my poor victim mentality behind. She asked me not to control her. I let it go. I was merely suggesting. I never thought I was poor or that I was a victim. I don't know why she even said that. I struggled to explain that my contentment wasn't about settling for less but about finding joy in what we had. I loved our simple life, our home-cooked meals, our quiet nights in. Yes, I want to go out to eat in restaurants, I want to travel the world with her and I want to gift her anything that she wants. But, my life shouldn't revolve around these things only.

They are not the memories that will remember when we are 90. I didn't need luxury to be happy. But Ella seemed unable to understand this and her dissatisfaction with our life grew. One night, after another fight, I decided to plan another simple date. I thought she'd feel better and things between us will finally seem normal. I suggested we have a movie night at home, just the two of us. I cooked her favorite dinner, set up the living room with cozy blankets and pillows, and picked out a few of our favorite movies from college.

For a moment, it seemed to work. Ella relaxed, and we enjoyed the evening together, laughing and playing. playing board games. But as soon as the night was over, reality came crashing back. The next day, she was back to the usual, complaining about the things we didn't have and the life she felt we were missing out on. I made the mistake of mentioning that I was looking forward to starting a family and we shouldn't fight with each other the way we were. She laughed at my face and said that I could never afford children. I should just be happy with the ones I see at school. I thought she'd set it out of anger and would apologize to me later. But, she never did.

And, I never asked. I let it go. It became clear that our lives were moving in different directions. Ella's career was her priority, and she was driven by the desire for more, more money, more status, more luxury. My priorities hadn't changed. I still found joy in the simple things and in the fulfillment my job brought me. I don't want to run behind money for the reasons that she wants to. I tried to support Ella and her ambitions, but it felt like no matter what I did, it was never enough. She wanted me to be more, to want more, but I couldn't change who I was. She wanted me to ditch T-shirts for suits, shirts for t-suits, and crocs for shiny shoes and I did not want any of that. The love that once brought us together now seemed to be the very thing driving us

apart. I started questioning myself. Maybe she was right. Maybe I was being selfish by sticking to my low-paying job, by not striving for more. I considered going back to school, trying to find a higher-paying job, anything to make her happy. I wanted to tell her the same thing once I got back home. But then I heard her speaking with her sister on the phone. She told her that she made a mistake marrying someone like me who enjoyed being poor. I liked lending money to everyone and treated her like she were a beggar. She has no freedom in the house and feels like a maid every day. She can't even bring a bottle of champagne to the house without me looking at her like she doesn't deserve it. Compared to the husbands of her other colleagues, I was a loser who knew nothing

about my life. She also said that I had always been irresponsible in life and her love made her very blind to these flaws. She made a huge mistake settling with someone who could never earn good money. She also said how her sister's husband was way better than me and I should learn a thing or two from him. She laughed at how I asked her for kids. She told her sister that her kids could never have a father like me who'd struggle to get them their favorite toys. She made me sound like someone who had zero bank balance. A loser with no purpose. An idiot who knew nothing about keeping a family together. When she saw me, she quickly hung up, but the damage was done. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. That night, I told her I couldn't take it anymore.

I asked her if she still loved me, or if she loved the idea of what I could be. She didn't answer right away, and the silence was in itself an answer. Finally, she said, I do love you, but I hate our life. I want more, and I thought you did too. I told her that I loved our life, or at least the life we used to have. I asked her if she could still love me if I didn't change if I stayed the same easygoing guy she fell in love with. She didn't answer, and I knew then that our marriage was in serious trouble. We can't even look at each other anymore. If she sees me in the room, she finds somewhere else to be. If I am taking a glass of water from the kitchen, she turns around and disappears. She comes home really late and sleeps on the couch. I feel like the bad

guy and it's too much for me to take. I tried to hold her hand while we were stepping out of the house yesterday and she quickly pulled away with a disgusted face. I don't know what I did to earn such a response from her. So, here's what I think. I am planning to tell her that we should take a break and think about where our relationship is heading. Will that be too harsh on her? Well, right now, everything is harsh on me. It is very difficult to see the love of my life treat me like a pest or something. What do you think I must be doing? Update 1. First off, I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who offered their love and support after my last post. I appreciate every single comment and message. I've been reading through them, and it's helped me feel less alone during this

incredibly difficult time. I wanted to give you all an update on what's been happening since then. We decided to take a break. She moved in with her sister, and I stayed in our apartment. The silence that followed was both a relief and a torture. On one hand, I missed her. I missed her, terribly, the woman I fell in love with. On the other hand, I didn't miss the constant insults and taunts about my job and my lifestyle. During this break, I had a lot of time to think about my life choices. I reflected on why I chose to become a teacher in the first place, and I reaffirmed my love for the profession. I realized that while I wanted to support Ella and make her happy, I couldn't change who I was. Doing so would mean cheating myself and giving up a

part of me. That being said, I also understood that compromise is part of any relationship. So, I started looking into opportunities that would allow me to advance in my career. I found a position at a better school, one that offers more responsibilities and the chance to make a broader impact. The pay wouldn't be much different, but the role excited me. I felt it would be a positive step forward and something that could potentially address some of Ella's concerns without forcing me to completely be the person I am not. I was ready to go tell Ella about my decision after our two-month break. I thought that perhaps this compromise might be a way to bridge the gap between us. But before I could reach out to her, she showed up at our apartment

with divorce papers. She explained that she couldn't be with a man who couldn't fulfill her desires and wishes. She told me she felt like I couldn't achieve anything in life and that she deserved more than what I could offer. She mentioned her social circles and how they would frown upon a person like me. She didn't want her partner to be someone she wasn't proud of, and in her eyes, that's what I had become. I realized that no matter what I did, it might never be enough to satisfy her desire for more. I took the divorce papers and told her I needed time to think about it. I wasn't ready to make any decisions on the spot. After she left, I sat down and thought about our entire relationship, from the early days of our love to the recent years of growing apart.

It was clear that we had both changed, and while I still loved her deeply, I couldn't ignore the fact that we were no longer compatible. She was here two days ago. I planned on discussing things with my parents and then let her know about my decision. Now, her thoughts seem more like an insult to me than anything else. Some would even call it toxic. I will come back with an update soon. Thank you so much, everyone.

Update 2. Hey Reddit. I am extremely sorry. I totally forgot to tell you what's happening with me. There were so many disturbances that I hardly had time to breathe. So, here's the thing, our divorce got finalized. Firstly, I want to thank each and every one of you for your unwavering support throughout this challenging time. Your messages and encouragement have truly been a lifeline for me, and I can't express how much it means to have this community behind me.

After the divorce was finalized, I took some time to process everything and figure out my next steps. One of the biggest changes I made was in my career. I decided to take a leap and change jobs to pursue a position at a better school. I chased opportunities instead of money and it's the best decision I made. It feels like I've left my comfort zone and the result is even better. On a more personal note, I also made a furry addition to my life, Snooper, my German shepherd companion. Getting a dog has been such a joy.

Snooper is always eager to go on adventures with me. He makes me feel less alone and I look forward to coming back to my house so that I can spend time with him. I've also been considering counseling. I kind of understand the importance of professional support in processing everything I've been through. My friends and family have been incredibly supportive of this decision and they also encouraged me to work on mental health first. A sound mind means a sound body, this was what my mother told me. I thought they'd be shocked that I was planning to go to a shrink but no one batted an eyelash.

I was the one overthinking for no reason. Regarding the divorce, Ella and I no longer have any contact. After the divorce was finalized, she came by to collect her belongings and completely removed her presence from our shared space. I am being honest, she didn't even leave a tissue behind. I didn't say a word to her or her sister while they packed her things and left. I have no hard feelings against her. She will always remain one of my most beautiful memories.

But, I can't say the same about her. While Ella was packing her things, her sister came to me and whispered in my ear that Ella hated me more than anything else and that the biggest mistake of her life was to marry me. I smiled and said nothing. There's nothing to say, is there? I'm focusing on healing and moving forward. I tried calling her a few times in the beginning, just to ask how she was doing. Her answers were short and irritated.

Then, I understood that my presence in her life was not welcome, not even for phone calls. I quit calling her. She blocked my number after a few days. I learned from mutual friends that she was seeing someone from her office. I am really happy for her. She deserves all the happiness in the world. My mother wants me to start dating again. But I think it's too soon.

She introduced me to this really nice girl. from her cooking classes. She is an athlete. Her name is Mia. Yes, I liked her company, but I must see how things will turn out. I don't want to rush into anything now. Once again, thank you so much for all your love and support. I am doing great and will continue to focus on myself, better myself, and achieve the best things in life. Lots of love and joy to all of you. I hope you enjoy this story. Close companion recently agreed to marry, however during the celebration for their engagement I noticed a message from a different gentleman on their mobile device and when I questioned them,

they confessed to engaging in a relationship with someone else. An affair, but beg me not to tell her fiancé. I, 26F, have a best friend, Kimmy, 26F, who just got engaged to Tom, 26M. Kimmy and I have been inseparable for over a decade, and I was thrilled when she and Tom and their engagement. Tom is a great guy by all accounts, the kind who treats her like a queen. I've gotten to know him well over the three years they've been together, and I was almost as excited about their wedding as she was. When she first started dating Tom, I genuinely thought they made a great match. He absolutely adores her. For context, Kimmy and I have been best friends

since high school. Her family practically helped raise me, and my family treated her like one of our own. We were the share-one-brain-cell type of friends, inside jokes, finishing each other's sentences, total goofballs together. We went through all of life's ups and down side-by-side, we even went to senior prom together when neither of us had a boyfriend. I truly considered her a sister. That's why what happened at the engagement party has me so furious. I never would have expected this from her. Kimmy and Tom had their engagement party last weekend. It was a classy event at a local banquet hall. I was basically the maid of honor, she hasn't officially asked, but it was a given, so I spent most of the day running around making sure things were perfect. The party itself was

great at first, free champagne, cheesy speeches, dancing. I was genuinely happy for my best friend. At one point I was sitting at a table taking a breather. Kimmy had left her phone near her purse on the table while she went to mingle and dance. Her phone buzzed a couple times. Normally I wouldn't snoop, but the screen lit up and I glanced over out of reflex. A text notification caught my eye. It was a message from someone saved as Jay. Then a photo thumbnail popped up with a message. It was a shirtless mirror selfie of a guy, face not visible, but definitely not Tom's body. The text under it said something like, Miss You Already.

Can't wait until Monday. Jay, I literally did a double take. I thought I must be misunderstanding, maybe Jay was a girlfriend joking around. But the shirtless photo and flirty text were hard to misinterpret. I felt a rush of anger and disbelief. This was her engagement party, for God's sake, and some dude is sending her thirst traps. I grabbed Kimmy's phone and went to find her. I spotted her across the room chatting with relatives, and I practically dragged her away,

muttering that we needed to talk now. trying not to make a scene, I pulled her into the lady's bathroom down the hall, locked the door, and immediately showed her the phone. I said, what the hell is this? Who the fuck is Jay and why is he sending you that? Kimmy went pale. Then she snatched the phone and tried to play it off. It's nothing, he's just a friend.

I wasn't buying it. I said, cut the crap, Kimmy. Friends don't send pictures like that. Are you cheating on Tom? She kept saying, it's not what you think. Eventually, after a lot of back and forth, me not letting her dodge the question, Kimmy broke down sobbing and admitted it. She confessed that she's been having an affair for the past six months with a co-worker

from her job, a guy named Jacqueline, Jay, obviously. I was stunned but also weirdly not. Part of me had already put two and two together as soon as I saw those messages, but hearing her say it out loud was unreal. She kept blubbering, I love Tom, I do, I love him so much. I don't want to lose him. This thing with Jacqueline just happened, she said she never planned for it to go so far, but she and this Jack Lawn guy clicked at work and it turned into an emotional affair and then a physical one.

According to her, it's been a mistake that she can't seem to end because she claims to have feelings for him too. But then she would immediately insist, but I love Tom. I swear I love Tom. I can't lose Tom. It was a lot of word vomit from her while I just stood there in absolute disbelief. I was furious and probably harsher with her than I've ever been. I told her she was being unbelievably selfish and cruel. Tom does everything for her, he practically worships the ground she walks on, and this is how she repays him. We had a hiss, heated argument in that bathroom. I asked her how she'd feel if Tom was the one cheating on her. She just cried and said, I'd die, but that's why he can never find out. She kept

begging me to promise not to tell anyone, especially not Tom. At this point, I felt sick about the whole situation. I couldn't believe I was even considering it, but this is my best friend of over a decade basically pleading for her life here, and it put me in a really shitty spot. I didn't want to be the one to destroy their relationship, but I also felt like Tom has a right to know what he's signing up for before he marries her. And I was, and still am, absolutely disgusted by her actions. I told her straight up, if you don't tell Tom about this, then I will. I'm not going to lie for you. He deserves to know the truth. Kimmy absolutely lost it at that. She went from crying to full-on panic. She grabbed my hands, begging, her nails were digging into my skin. No, no, you can't.

Not tonight, please. We just got engaged, this will ruin everything. She was literally on the bathroom floor in her cocktail dress, mascara running everywhere. It was pathetic and heartbreaking and infuriating all at once. She kept pleading, and asked for two weeks. Against my better judgment, I eventually sighed and said, fine. You have two weeks. But if you haven't ended it and told him by then, I will.

I'm serious, Kimmy. I made it very clear I wasn't bluffing. The vibe was tense from the second she walked in. We sat down in my living room and I straight up asked her, Did you end it with Jacqueline? Kimmy looked away and mumbled something like, I'm handling it. That was not the yes I was looking for. I pressed her, that's not an answer.

Have you told him it's over, yes or no? She got defensive, snapping that it's complicated. At this point I was done tiptoeing. I told her the two weeks were up and she hadn't done what she promised. I'd kept my mouth shut like I said I would, and she did basically nothing. Kimmy then dropped a bombshell that left me utterly floored. She admitted that, actually, she had no intention of really ending things with Jacqueline. Not entirely.

She had the nerve to say, and I remember her words exactly because they are burned into my brain, look, Tom is safe and I love him, I do. He's good for me and for my future. But what Jack Lawn and I have is different. It's passionate and real in its own way. Marriage is just a piece of paper. It doesn't have to change what Jack Lawn and I have. I think my jaw literally hung open. I was speechless for a moment. I asked her, are you seriously planning to keep seeing this guy after you marry Tom? She shrugged like it was no big deal and said something like, Lots of people have side pieces, they just don't talk about it. It's not like Tom will ever find out.

I can make him happy and still have my own happiness on the side. It's balanced. I was horrified. I told her that was the most messed up, selfish rationalization I'd ever heard. She actually rolled her eyes at me and said I wouldn't understand because I'm not in a relationship and I don't know what it's like to be in love with two people. Cue me nearly gagging, that conversation devolved into probably the worst fight we've ever had.

I yelled at her that she was delusional if she thought this could work, and that she clearly didn't respect Tom at all to treat him like a gullible safety net. She got mad and yelled back that I was judging her and that I had no right to dictate how she lives her life. I told her if she went through with this twisted plan, she'd basically be living a lie and dragging Tom into a fraudulent marriage. She said I was being dramatic and that it's her life. It ended with me saying something along the lines of,

fine, it's your life, but Tom has a right to decide if he wants to be part of that kind of life. And I'm going to make damn sure he knows what he's getting into. Kimmy went pale and then furious. She started crying angry tears and called me a traitor. She said I'm supposed to be her best friend and how dare I choose Tom over her. I told her, you chose this path. not me. I warned you. I essentially kicked her out of my apartment after that because I couldn't even look at her. As she left, she screamed at me that if I tell him, I'm dead to her. I responded,

honestly, Kimmy, you made yourself dead to me when you decided to keep screwing around behind Tom's back. So yeah, that friendship is basically scorched earth now. I kind of mourned it right then and there. She clearly wasn't going to do the right thing. So I had to. I decided I was going to gather whatever proof I could and tell Tom everything. I didn't want this to come down to her word against mine, because given how she's been lying, I wouldn't put it past her to try and paint me as a liar or something.

Unfortunately, I didn't exactly have a cache of evidence on hand, aside from my own eyewitness account of those initial texts at the party. I will look for something and gather proofs if I have to. Update 2. A few days after that blowout fight with Kimmy, I ended up having an encounter with Jacqueline that I can only describe as serendipitous or karmic. For context, Kimmy works as a nurse at a hospital. I actually met Jacqueline very briefly once before, months ago, when I had lunch with Kimmy

near her workplace and she bumped into him. Back then, she had introduced him to me as my work friend Jacqueline and I thought nothing of it. Little did I know. Anyway, I had to go to the hospital to deal with some medical paperwork for my insurance. I was walking down a corridor, and who do I almost literally run into but Jacqueline himself. He recognized me first, I think. He gave me a friendly, oh hey. You're Kimmy's friend, right? My name, isn't it? I forced a polite smile and said yeah. Internally, I was simmering just seeing him,

but I reminded myself that as far as he knew, I was just Kimmy's oblivious friend. For all I knew, he thought Kimmy and Tom had broken up or something. I decided to play it cool and gather Intel. We made a little small talk. I said I was just there for some paperwork and asked if he was on shift. He said he'd just finished his shift and was heading out. I then asked him if he knows anything that's been going on Kimmy's life with Tom recently. He nodded, and then he sort of lowered his voice and said, off the record, I'm not really a fan of Kimmy's ex. I swear, I was like, her ex. And he goes, yeah, that Tom guy. He actually called Tom her ex-boyfriend. At this point, I was internally like, holy shit. So I probed, why don't you like Tom? And this dude sighs and says,

I probably shouldn't be talking about this, but he was really controlling and possessive of her. He treated her poorly and didn't respect her. I'm just glad she's getting out of that relationship. I had to bite my tongue from unleashing what I really thought. The sheer irony of him describing Tom, who is the sweetest, most accommodating guy, as controlling, based on what Kimmy must have told him, was mind-boggling. But I played along a bit more. I said, getting out of the relationship. What do you mean? He replied, well, she told me she's planning on breaking it off with him soon. She just wanted to wait until after the holidays to avoid drama, he chuckled and said.

She says he doesn't take breakups well, kind of an obsessive type, you know? I think that's when I realized the full extent of Kimmy's deceit. Everything clicked. She was not only betraying Tom. She was feeding Jacqueline a load of crap too. She was stringing both along with lies. I looked at Jacqueline and said, Just to be clear here,

Kimmy told you Tom is her ex. He nodded, yeah, they broke up months ago, but he still keeps tabs on her. That's why she wants to be careful, she said he's the type to make a scene. I took a deep breath and decided, Screw it, this guy deserves to know the truth too. I said, I'm sorry to have to tell you this,

but Tom is not her ex. He's her fiancé. They are very much to give. and their wedding is being planned. They literally just had an engagement party. First he looked shocked, then he laughed like yeah right. He thought I was joking. He said, come on, seriously. And I told him I was dead serious. I explained that I'm one of Kimmy's closest friends and I was at that engagement party. I watched his face as the realization dawned that I wasn't kidding. He went quiet and his expression went through about five different stages of anger and confusion.

But, she told me they broke up or breaking up. She said he was crazy and wouldn't accept it, he muttered. I just shook my head and said, nope. She's been with him the whole time. She's been lying to you, and lying to Tom too. To his credit, Jacqueline actually looked disgusted and genuinely upset. Not that I have much sympathy for someone sleeping with a woman who, he at least knew had a boyfriend of some sort, but he clearly didn't know the full story. He cursed under his breath and said something like, I can't believe this. She told me I was the only one, and that he was basically an abusive ex. He then asked me how long I've known. I even took a short video clip of the screen as he scrolled through a particularly

incriminating text thread, just to show context and that it wasn't fake. Jacqueline was fuming by the end of it. He apologized to me. which I found a bit weird, like it's not me he needed to apologize to, but I think he was just embarrassed to have been part of this mess. He said he was going to confront Kimmy as well, but I asked him to maybe hold off until I told Tom. I didn't want her getting a heads up and trying to spin things. He understood. We parted ways with an awkward half-hug. I think both of us were just rattled. As soon as I got to my car, I sent a text to Tom. I told him I had something extremely important to show him and asked if we could meet in person. He hasn't replied yet,

but we'll update after he does. Update 3. This is the big one. I met up with Tom that day as planned. When he showed up at my door, I could tell he was worried. He probably thought maybe Kimmy or I had gotten hurt or something the way I sounded on the phone. I invited him in, we sat down, and I just blurted out. I'm so sorry to have to do this, but I need to tell him. I'm to tell him. you something about Kimmy. His face immediately went pale. He said, is she okay? Just tell me. I took a breath and said, she's been cheating on you, she's been having an affair with a guy from her work. Tom just stared at me like I was speaking another language. He kind of half smiled like he didn't believe it. Then realized from my face that I was dead serious. He asked quietly, with who? I told him,

some guy named Jack Lawn from her hospital. It's been going on for about six months. I saw his hands clench and unclench. I could see the shock turning into anger and heard in real time. He started asking a bunch of questions. How do you know? Are you sure? Why?

So I showed him. I had prepared in folder with the screenshots and the video I took. I wasn't about to just thrust my phone in his face one by one. I opened it on my laptop and let him read everything. I also explained how I found out at the engagement party and gave her a chance to come clean, etc. I didn't leave anything out. Tom was dead silent, reading the messages.

The one where she called him safe but boring and all her crap about my exes paranoid really hit him. His jaw was tight, and I could tell he was trying not to cry or explode or both. After going through it all, he just muttered, that lying. but he didn't even finish the sentence. He asked me if I could forward all that to him, and I immediately did. Then he thanked me. Actually, he said something like, I had a feeling. I knew something was off, and she made me feel like I was crazy for thinking that. He looked devastated. I told him I was so sorry that I didn't want to be the one to hurt him, but I felt he needed to know. He nodded and said, you did the right thing. What happened next unfolded fact?

Tom left, he said he was going to confront her right away. I asked if he wanted me there or anything. Not that I thought that would help, but I felt bad sending him into that alone, but he said no, he'd handle it. So off he went. I basically paced around my house for the next couple hours, waiting to hear what happened. Around midnight, I got a text from Tom, it's done. I called off the wedding. I'll call you tomorrow, thanks for everything. I found out the details the next day, when Tom and I talked on the phone. Apparently, Tom went home and confronted Kimmy with the evidence immediately. He told me that as soon as he said Jacqueline's name, Kimmy's face fell and she burst into tears. She didn't even try to deny the affair at that point. Instead, she flipped the script

and started screaming at him about how I was a backstabbing bitch who was trying to ruin her life. Yep, saw that coming. She accused me of being jealous of her happiness because I'm single. According to Tom, she actually said something like, She's miserable and alone so she wants everyone else to be too. She tried to make it seem like I was the instigator here, like I had enticed poor innocent Kimmy into cheating or something. Obviously that didn't fly because the evidence was right there from her own phone.

Tom told me he just let her rant for a minute until he pulled out his phone and basically read one of her texts out loud back to her, one where she was mocking him to Jacqueline. That shut her up pretty quick. Then she switched to pleading, saying it didn't mean anything, she loves him, blah, blah. Then apparently pleading turned into defiance. She got angry that Tom had gone through her messages, really? And then started blaming him, saying if he hadn't been so distant and busy at work lately, she wouldn't have looked elsewhere. Classic deflection. Tom said at that point he realized there was no hope of salvaging anything, not that he wanted to after seeing her true colors.

He told her the wedding was off, and that he wants her out of the apartment. They rent a place together. She kind of went hysterical at that, alternating between begging and yelling. He ended up leaving the apartment to go stay at his brother's place that night because he couldn't stand to be under the same roof. By the time we were talking, which was the next day, he had already contacted their families to inform them the engagement was often generally why, I don't know how detailed he got with them. But I'm sure Kimmy spun her own story. A few close friends knew by then too.

Shit hit the fan, to put it mildly. As for Kimmy? Well, she didn't stay silent either. I got a lovely text from her about a day after the confrontation. It was basically a lot of swearing in all caps. Gems included, calling me Judas, a pathetic. A pathetic. lonely witch, and saying I hope you're happy, you just blew up my entire life. Enjoy being bridesmaid at my non-existent wedding, bitch. But he told me there were times Kimmy would come home late or be oddly protective of her phone. Whenever he gently questioned it, she'd blow up at him and call him paranoid, making him apologize for even questioning her. She called him paranoid so many times that he actually started apologizing to her, thinking he was

just being insecure. That is some great a gaslighting. On a slightly positive note, guess who else reached out to Tom? Jack Lawn He apparently found Tom's contact, maybe through a co-worker, and sent him a text apologizing. Jack Lawn told Tom he truly didn't know Kimmy was still in a relationship, let alone engaged, and that he would never have gotten involved if he had known. Tom showed me the text. It was actually pretty sincere.

He even said he was willing to talk or answer any questions if it would help. and that he felt disgusted having unknowingly played a part in deceiving Tom. Tom hasn't decided if he'll respond or meet him, and I don't think he needs to if he doesn't want to, but I think it gave him some closure to know the other guy was also deceived. It's weird, but I'm actually kind of glad Jack Lawn turned out not to be a complete jerk in this. One less loose end of drama. Where things stand now, the wedding is obviously off. Deposits on venues and vendors are probably lost, I have no idea and frankly that's not my problem, though I feel bad for Tom's side of the family who might have put money down. Kimmy moved out of the apartment they shared because it was

actually Tom's name on the lease. She's staying with her sister, I heard. I suspect she'll try to spin this story to mutual friends in a way that saves face, but the raw facts are hard to argue with. I haven't gone broadcasting details to anyone except those who needed to know, but word spread anyway. A couple of our mutual friends reached out to me and I told them the truth because I'm not covering for her.