Reddit Stories - Secrets Unveiled Family Betrayal and Confessions Podcast ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 58

Episode Date: March 29, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familybetrayal #confessions #podcast #secretsunveiled #compilation  Summary: Episode 58 of the "Secrets Unveiled Family Betrayal and Confessions Podcast" features a three-hour compilation of shocking stories. Listeners delve into personal betrayals and heartfelt confessions, exploring the complexities of family dynamics and the impact of secrets revealed. This episode captivates with emotional narratives and relatable experiences.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, family, secrets, confessions, podcast, storytelling, emotional, relationships, drama, personalstories, lifeadvice, truth, revelations, experiences, community, entertainment, listeningBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. My son's stepbrother insisted that I donate to his university savings, despite declining group counseling and claiming I am not part of his relatives. However, upon my refusal, he disclosed that his dad had informed him. Him that I'm the reason his parents can't get back together. My, 39M, and my wife Emily, 38F, have been married for 12 years. Emily has a son James, 17, from a previous relationship with Dan.

M left Dan when she caught him cheating with a co-worker. They shared 50 to 50 custody of James. I met him about a year after he had left Dan. A year later, Dan married his affair partner, and M. and I got married soon after. James never really bonded to me. I admit that I tried a little too hard initially to get him to like me, but backed off. when I realized I was trying too hard and it was having the opposite impact. Over the years, we've built a tense acceptance of sorts, if that makes sense.

M and I have three kids, 10 F, 7M and 4M. James doesn't have a good relationship with M either. He bonds well with Dan's sons, but doesn't like spending much time with our kids. He isn't mean to them but just ignores them mostly. The eldest two now just avoid him when he is home. M and I both have well-paying jobs in early on, we decided that I would contribute 80% to our trio's college fund, and M would do 20% because she would contribute 100% to James College Fund. We didn't know if Dan was making any such arrangements on his end, but we thought that at least

this way James would have something instead of nothing. Em recently sat him down to talk to him about his college fund. He seemed happy with the financial help he was going to get. He went off to dance for the weekend and when he came back he asked Em about our kids' college funds. When he learned that the amount was fairly higher than his, he was upset. When he asked about the disparity, Em told him about our college fund set up. He was furious to know that I hadn't contributed to his college fund. He said that I was just pretending to play family with him all these years.

that I really didn't care about him and was a heartless awe. M suggests that we could take some money out of our youngest fund and give it to James and that she would add it back over time. But she said that it's my call. That she won't pressurize me either way and would accept whatever I decided. Quite frankly, I don't want to do it. James idolizes his shitty father, even now that he knows he cheated on his mother. I could deal with his crappy behavior with me, but I never unethical.

understood his attitude towards our kids. We even tried going to family therapy, he refused to go because I wasn't his family. Now when he needs money, suddenly I am family. I know I am perhaps being petty, but I don't want to give him the money. Ida. Edit, I think some clarifications are in order. One, I don't hate that James idolizes his father. I hate that he blames his mother for their family breaking up. When James was 13 he had heard from one of his older cousin, Dan sighed, what his father had done that lead to Emily leaving. When he confronted her about it, she explained. We tried for therapy then but didn't happen, we'll explain later. Last year, he told his mother that he believed she was responsible. That instead of leaving

Dan, she should have forgotten about what he did and continued to stay with him. Em was expectedly shocked, but when she asked him if the situation was reversed and she had cheated on Dan and he left her, would then Dan be blamed for the family breaking up. He said no, that would definitely be her fault and made no further explanations. This was not as a result of an argument or heat of the moment statement, ironically, this was a casual dinner table conversation. The other kids had to be excused from the table. Two, when M and I had gotten together and things were starting to look serious, she had wanted to take him to a child therapist who could help him adjust better to the changing situation around him. Since they shared 50 to 50 custody, Dan's

consent was needed, he refused. When we were going to get married, we tried for therapy, Dan said he got married before us and James had no issues. We were overreacting, he didn't need therapy. When the above incident happened, when M was pregnant with our daughter, and most recently after last year's incident. This time we asked him directly. We thought if he agreed to family therapy then we could speak to our lawyer and work around the custody arrangement

since he was almost an adult. This was when he refused therapy saying I wasn't family. Three, for all those saying that I am treating a teenager like an adult. That I made him feel like the other and not one of us. We tried. When we both starting earning well, we wanted on splurge on our kids

during birthdays and holidays, James was never excluded. Whatever our kids got, he got too. In fact, as he is older, he got to pick what he wanted. For his 11th birthday, he wanted to go to Disney World. Both of Dan's kids were invited. His youngest son and my daughter are the same age. He went, she wasn't invited. We stayed home.

Four, we started the college funds about a year after our business. daughter was born. M couldn't start one for James earlier since she was a psalm when she was with Dan. It took her a while to get back on her feet. She wasn't in a position to immediately start a college fund for him. What a lot of you pointed out is right, he has been short-changed. Em will rectify that and make up the deficit he should get by the time he starts college. But that will still not make it as much as the remaining three. We have decided to sit and have a chat with him this weekend about everything. Comments where Op has replied, comment one, when he learned that the amount was fairly higher than his, why would this even be something you shared with a child?

I didn't share it. My wife did. James doesn't like interacting with me. James is 17. He's not a child anymore. Comment two, he has two parents to contribute to college. They can find him. Sounds like Dan had better step up. OOP, I doubt that would happen. Dan has never been good at keeping a steady income flow and his wife is a psalm. They aren't desperately struggling to make ends meet, but I could make an educated guest to say Dan has probably not saved up for any of his kids' college funds. Comment three, is the amount your wife contributes to your kids more than she contributes for her

son? OOP, no. She contributed more to James Fund. That was the agreement. Since we had assumed that Dan wouldn't have done anything, we had decided that my wife would contribute more for James and I would do the same for our three. Comment 4. How old was he when he refused counseling? All of your posts so far imply this happened when he was five years old,

hardly old enough to be able to make that decision. So are you saying you tried therapy when he was much older and not when he was younger? I'm trying to understand how you and your wife could see that he was. is dissociating and not go talk to a judge to get therapy mandated. My POV is that it should not have been left up to a 5 to 10 year old, whether he went to therapy or not. And if the dad refused, that should have been addressed in court. Or are you saying therapy was only considered years later?

Because why would you think I meant custody now when I thought you were trying that when he was young? I'm sorry, I'm confused. I know you feel defensive, but you're the adult. As is your wife. You both did not do everything you could have here. Again, I don't think your T.A. about the money, but it does sound like the ball was dropped to get him into therapy and keep him there and to build a real relationship with him. Definitely not all on you, but collectively the adults in his life failed him.

I hope you recognize as all you've tried to do for him. And I hope you figure out how to let go of the resentment you're carrying. I'm sure James can and has picked up on it his whole life. Poor kid. He got screwed here. It's no picnic for you either, but you did choose to be a S.D. Coupe. When Emily and I started getting serious, she had wanted to take James to a child therapist who could help him adjust better to the changing situation around him. Since M and Dan, Bio Dad, shared 50 to 50 custody. If one parent refused, then we couldn't proceed. Unsurprisingly, Dan refused. James. James was a toddler, not old enough to give consent. When we were about to get married, we tried for therapy again. Dan, who had gotten married to his affair partner a couple of months ago, refused again, saying James was fine with his marriage. There was no reason for him to not be fine with ours. He further insinuated that going to a therapist would make James

fell like something was wrong with him when he was perfectly fine and we were overreacting. When James found out about Dan cheating on his mother being the reason why they ended things. Dan said wanting to take James to therapy was MNI's way of brainwashing him, instilling thoughts in his head about how evil his dad is. So yeah, he refused again. When Emily was pregnant with our daughter, therapy was requested. Therapy was denied. Reason, Dan said James was fine with his son so therapy not needed.

We did speak to our lawyer to ask if we could still approach the court to say Dan keeps refusing therapy that is most certainly hampering our relationship. Our lawyer said technically Dan was right. James wasn't showing the same level of detachment with his family that he was with ours. It could have tilted the custody arrangement in Dan's favor. When he accused him of being the reason their family broke up, we offered therapy as an option again. Since James was 17 by now, we asked him, hoping if he agreed we could circumnavigate the need for Dan's consent. Since James was nearly an adult. James refused saying I wasn't his family so family therapy wasn't necessary.

I haven't resented James since the day I met him. I don't exactly resent him now either. I am just tired of the whole situation. Update, it's been an eye-opening weekend. Thanks to everyone who weighed in, even the aggressive ones. I knew what I was signing up for posting on Reddit. Before the update, a couple clarifications because gaps and info turned into wild assumptions. When I said I came on a little too strong with James when we met,

some of you pictured me grabbing a toddler by the neck and hissing call me daddy. No, I was nervous and acted like an idiot and used an over-the-top baby voice because I'd barely been around toddlers. Emily later said I sounded like a circus clown on two cartons of Red Bull. Cringe? Absolutely. Malicious? No. Many had questions regarding therapy.

I shared the timeline in this comment thread so I'm not going to rewrite that again. Many called my wife the awe for sharing the college fund amounts for our kids. I showed her the post. She explained James came back from dance with questions when the fun. started, how much, etc. He said, paraphrasing, so mine is 30 and there's is E. With his 30 higher than our kids' E. Without thinking, yes, stupidly, Emily corrected him, no, yours is triple A and there's is B, B, B. That snowballed into what I wrote earlier. It wasn't a diabolical plan to make me pay more, it was a thoughtless correction. With that out of the way, Emily,

James and I sat down for a conversation yesterday. James didn't want to talk to me, but I told him that if he expected me to even think about contributing to his college fund then I've got loads of questions he needs to answer. It was an extremely long conversation and many revelations came to be. So, I'm going to give a summary of the things we finally found out from James. Even before Emily and Dan had broken up, not divorced, they were never married, Dan had occasionally brought James to his AP's place, so James was familiar AP. After the breakup, Dan immediately moved in with his AP. M, who was a p. till then, struggled initially to get back on her feet.

Needless to say, James' home life with M was a little more chaotic than at Dan and his APs. M hadn't told James that she had left his father since he cheated on her. Telling that to a toddler wouldn't make any sense. But apparently, in the early days, days, Dan used to tell James that M would eventually come back to him. I think he may have been holding out hope for reuniting with M. And that's where I came in. Dan told James that as long as I am around, I would not let him go back to Dan. When Dan married his AP, he told James that it was temporary.

It was a way to make M jealous. When we got married, he told James that it was my way of making it even more difficult for M to get back to their family. When James had found out from his cousin, Dan sighed, that his father had cheated on his mother which was the reason for their breakup. When James had asked Em about it, she had been open and honest about everything. When he confronted Dan about the same, he told James that Em had left him for a long time and his loneliness made him miss her a lot and so he found some comfort with AP.

Emily's father had met with a car accident and she was with her parents for about three weeks to help them. And that's all the alone time Dan could handle. before he needed to dip his wick in something, but it was a reasonable enough explanation for James absolve his father of all sins. When Em got pregnant with our daughter, Dan told James now that I have started pumping my spawn into his mother. Exact words James used, James' family was destroyed forever. He told James that M and I had been wanting to take him to therapy which was actually a ruse. What we were really trying to do was take him to doctor who would declare him a problem child and then we would ship him off to boarding school so that we could continue to play happy family without being bothered by him.

Only Dan and his family was fighting to keep James with them. James admitted that he had hoped his detached behavior around my family and happy and joyous behavior around Dan's would convince M that my kids and I were evil and she would eventually leave us. But sadly, I kept knocking up his mom making it harder for her to leave. Expectedly, Emily was beyond distraught to hear everything. To be honest, in the moment I couldn't wrap up head around it much either. I asked if Dan had a college fund saved up for him and his sons.

James said AP's parents have set up a trust fund for Dan's sons, but that does not include James since he isn't their grandson. Dan's not saved up anything for anyone. I asked James why he suddenly thinks I should contribute to his fund when he has turned down every opportunity for us to be a family. He said he was actually okay with it. the amount that M initially told him about, but Dan made him realize that we were undercutting him. So he came back to demand more. I asked if I pay the money will that then make us family?

Even if he can't accept me as a step-parent, can we be friends? Can he be a little more friendlier with my kids when he is around? He straight up said no. He said that after all these years he knows me or my kids are not the evil beings his father made us seem, but he still feels I am the reason his parents could never get back together again and for that he will always hate me. And since my kids are well my kids, he's never going to like them either. And since now he knows that Emily isn't going to leave her family. He said his plan was once he was off to college he would cut off contact with all of us. He does plan to eventually get back in touch with his mother when he feels he is ready to forgive

for breaking up his family, but he can't do that right now. Emily and I have had a long and honest discussion. I have decided that I will not be making any contributions to James College Fund. Emily will continue the contribution that she was already making and handed over to him once he turns 18. We will no longer be pursuing family therapy with James. We will not try to change James mind about going no contact with us after he goes off to college. We've done all that we could do, we're going to stop now. If James is happy with Dan's family, then we're happy for him.

It's going to be hard for Emily, but even she has accepted that after James' recent revelations, she's having a hard time reconciling her little boy with this cynical teenager. We have both taken individual and couples therapy before. Mainly due to the stress and anxiety James' behavior used to put on us as a family. We are looking into starting again. Hopefully, we'll be able to be overcome this in time. Comment where OP has replied. Comment, Yikes Entier didn't think you were even before the update, but this makes me sad.

Wish you had asked him this question years ago. I'm surprised y'all didn't think of that. The one sentence where you said that James was fine with the money until he got home from his father's and started asking questions. I knew his father was whispering in his ears. Oh, O'ok, we always knew Dan was up to no good. Whenever we had tried to have conversations like this before, either he would throw a tantrum. and not communicate, or he would just sit there like a stone and not say a word. And as said before, therapy was repeatedly denied.

He only entertained this conversation because of the money he is going to get from his mother and tolerated my presence because of the possibility of me contributing to his fund. Next story, friend took my expensive purse with over 100 euros inside and claimed she lost it. Then when I threatened to call police at the airport she offered to replace it, but I found it hidden in her suit and she blocked me without explanation. So I, 21F, am just about to leave from a vacation with a friend, also 21F, and I'm honestly still sick over what happened. A few days ago, she took my expensive Zadig and Voltaire purse, without asking. This purse was a Christmas gift from my sister and has huge sentimental value. I've spent the past few years taking really good care of it

because it means so much to me. When she took it, she did. She did. didn't even tell me. I only found out after the fact that she used it to go to the laundromat, and in the process, used my money, which she also didn't ask to take. For context, the purse had minus $40 in cash, and a bunch of quarters, a gift from my sister's best friend's mom, 60 euros in notes, and at least 20 euros in coins. So we're talking over 100 euros total, not to mention the purse itself. And now, the purse is going to be a purse. gone. She lost it. I was obviously upset, not yelling or blaming her, just crying and saying I wasn't mad, just hurt. I told her how much that purse meant to me and how hard I've worked

to keep it safe for years. Instead of apologizing, she got huffy with me, rolled her eyes, and said, how much does it cost? I'll just replace it in this angry, dismissive tone. She has a very defensive and confrontational nature that makes me feel bullied and small, so I find it hard to stand up to her. But it's not just about the money, it's about trust, about respect, and about losing something deeply personal to me. Since then, she hasn't apologized at all. In fact, she's acting annoyed that I'm upset. Now we're on the last night of our trip, and I've decided to just be neutral and quiet for the journey home. But once we're back, I plan to stop speaking to her entirely.

I feel like she violated my boundaries, disrespected my belongings, and is now making me feel like I'm too sensitive for being hurt. But some mutual friends are already making me feel like I'm being dramatic and should let it go because it's just a bag. So, Ada for cutting her off and refusing to speak to her after this? Update, so I have an update. Thank you to everyone who gave advice or shared support.

it really helped more than you know. On the flight home, she asked me to mind her passport in my bag, even though she had her own backpack. I agreed just to keep the peace because I didn't want to deal with any attitude or fighting. When we landed, she turned to me and asked, do you have my passport? In this snappy tone. I was still hurt and wanted to get one last jab in, so I said, using the exact word she said to me all week about my missing purse, I was checking my bag the whole time to make sure your passport was there, but maybe it'll show up when we get off the plane. I regretted saying it immediately.

She snapped in front of other passengers, finally acknowledging that I'd been upset about the purse, but in the most cruel and dismissive way. She said, well, at least I didn't throw a hissy fit bawling crying for hours over a purse. That was the last straw. She acknowledged my obvious upset, yet still would not apologize. Once we got our bags at the airport, I told her I wanted to check her suitcase for my purse. I said if she refused, I'd involved the police. She tried to say I was violating her privacy, which is hilarious considering she took my purse and went through my belongings.

I told her if it wasn't there, she had nothing to be worried about. I also made it clear I wasn't going to touch any of her stuff, that I wasn't interested in taking others' belongings without permission, just checking for what was mine. She was absolutely fuming. Face red, shaking, visibly furious. Then she shoved her bag at me and told me to go ahead. I opened a zipped compartment. Inside was a black trash bag.

Inside that was a red target bag. Inside that, drum roll, my purse. All of the money was still inside, the cash, the euro coins but no quarters. I was honestly so shocked I couldn't even ask why she had it or what her plan was. I just said, thanks and walked away with my stuff. I got on the bus home and haven't spoken to her since. I wish I hadn't been so emotionally drained to have given her a peace of my mind. She's since blocked me with no apology or explanation.

As a side note, her mom, who doesn't know we're not speaking, called me at 3 a.m. crying. She was saying how badly she feels treated by her daughter and her husband, how she's constantly belittled. I won't get into any of what had just happened, but it definitely gave me more perspective. This girl is a cruel and horrendous person with little to no empathy, and I think maybe a sociopath. Anyway, I got my purse back, but the whole thing left a really bad taste in my mouth. I still don't fully understand what she was trying to do, and honestly I don't think I want to. I'm just relieved it's over. What do you guys think she was aiming to do with the purse? Very little of my money inside was used. So strange. Thanks again. I hope you enjoy this story.

My guardians expelled me and cut ties with me eight years ago for opting for higher education over their family enterprise, but now that I am thriving and their business is floundering due to my decision. Brothers gambling, they suddenly want me back. Eight years ago my parents owned a small restaurant that had been in our family for two generations and they always talked about how one day it would pass down to the next generation and keep the family legacy going. My older brother Clark was always the favorite child and got praised for everything he did while I was constantly compared to him and told I needed to work harder to measure up to his standards.

When I graduated high school, my parents sat me down and told me I needed to start working at the restaurant immediately to learn the business from the ground up and that Clark would eventually take over as the main owner, but I would have a small stake in it if I proved myself worthy over the years. I had already gotten accepted to a good college with a partial scholarship and wanted to study computer science because I was really good with technology and had been teaching myself programming since I was in middle school. My parents said college was a waste of money and that the restaurant would provide everything I needed in life and that I was being selfish for wanting to abandon the family business that had supported us

for so many years. Clark had dropped out of community college after one semester and had been working at the restaurant for three years already and my parents kept saying he was a natural at running the business and dealing with customers and managing the staff. I told them I wanted to go to college and that I would work part-time at the restaurant during breaks and summers but that I wanted to have my own career and not just work for my brother for the rest of my life. My dad got really angry and said I was being ungrateful and that Clark deserved to inherit the business because he had shown dedication and loyalty while I was trying to run away from my responsibilities. The arguments went on for weeks and got worse every day and my parents kept bringing up

how much money they had spent raising me and how I owed them for all the sacrifices they had made and that working in the family business was the least I could do to pay them back. Clark kept telling me I was being stupid and that college would just fill my head with useless ideas and that I would never make as much money as I could make working with the family. My girlfriend at the time supported my decision to go to college and my parents said she was a bad influence and was turning me against my family. When I refused to change my mind and told them I was going to college no matter what they said my parents told me that if I left for college I shouldn't bother coming back home and that they would consider me dead to them. I thought they were just trying to scare me and that they would calm down after a few days, but when I came home from my graduation party, they had packed all my stuff in boxes and left them on the front porch.

My dad handed me an envelope with $500 and said that was all I would ever get from them and that I was no longer their son and that I was not welcome in their house anymore. I moved in with my girlfriend's family for the summer and then went to college in the fall and worked two part-time jobs to pay for my expenses that the scholarship didn't cover. My parents blocked my phone number and wouldn't respond to any messages I sent them and when I tried to visit during winter break my dad told me through the door that I needed to leave immediately or he would call the police. Clark posted pictures on social media of family dinners and holidays and vacations and always made sure to caption them with things like family time with the

people who matter and grateful for my real family which felt like he was trying to rub it in my face. College was hard because I was working so much and didn't have any financial support from my parents, but I graduated with a degree in computer science and got a job at a tech company right after graduation. I worked my way up over the years and eventually got promoted to a senior developer position and then a teen lead position and I was making really good money and had bought my own house and car. I met my current girlfriend Rose three years ago after a pretty bad breakup from my previous relationship and she's a nurse and we've been living together for the past year and she's been posting pictures of our trips and our house and us at nice restaurants on social media.

I had heard through some relative that the restaurant was struggling because Clark had developed a gambling problem and had been stealing money from the business to pay his debts and that my parents were having trouble keeping up with the bills and the rent. I didn't really keep track of what was happening with them because they had made it clear that I was not part of their family anymore and I had built my own life without them. Last month Rose posted pictures from our vacation to Hawaii and tagged me in them and also posted pictures of the new car I had bought and the renovations we had done to our house. Two weeks after Rose posted those pictures my parents showed up at my front door on a Saturday morning

and started knocking really loudly and calling my name and saying they needed to talk to me. I looked through the peephole and saw both of them standing there and my mom was holding a plate of cookies and my dad had a bouquet of flowers and they both looked older and more tired than I remembered. I didn't open the door and told them through the door that they needed to leave my property immediately and that they had made it clear eight years ago that I was not their son anymore. My mom started crying and saying that they had made a mistake and that they wanted to fix things and that they missed me and wanted me to come home and be part of the family again. My dad said they had seen how successful I had become and how happy I looked in the pictures

and that they were proud of me and wanted to celebrate my achievements with me. I told them that it was too late and that they couldn't just show up after eight years and expect everything to go back to normal and that they needed to leave before I called the police. They wouldn't leave and kept knocking and my mom kept crying and saying, just wanted to see her son and that she had been miserable for the past eight years without me. My dad started talking about how the restaurant was in trouble and how they needed my help to save it and how we could all work together as a family to turn things around. That's when I realized they didn't actually want me back because they missed me but because

they had seen that I was successful and they thought I could solve their financial problems. I called the police and told them that my parents were on my property and refusing to leave after I had asked them multiple times to go away and that I wanted them removed immediately. The police showed up about 15 minutes later and talked to my parents and told them they needed to leave and not come back unless I invited them. My mom was still crying and begging the police officer to let her talk to me and my dad was arguing with the officer and saying that I was their son and they had a right to see me. The police officer told them that I was an adult and had the right to decide who I wanted on my property and that they could be arrested for trespassing if they came back without my permission. The police officer gave me a report number and told me to call them again if my parents came back and that I could file for a restraining order if the harassment continued.

Update 1, three days after the police removed my parents from my property Clark and his wife, Iris. Yes, he got married during the previous eight years and I wasn't even invited to the wedding. They showed up at my door in the evening while I was eating dinner with Rose. I heard the doorbell ring and saw through the peephole that it was Clark and Iris and Clark looked really nervous and kept running his hands through his hair, and Iris was standing behind him with her arms crossed. I opened the door, but kept the security chain on and asked them what they wanted, and Clark said they just wanted to talk to me for a few minutes about the situation with our parents. I told them I didn't want to talk about our parents and that I had made my position clear

when I called the police on them and that they needed to leave. Iris pushed forward and said that our parents were heartbroken and that they hadn't been eating or sleeping since the police incident and that they just wanted their son back and couldn't understand why I was being so cruel to them. Clark said that our parents had sent them because they thought I might be more willing to listen to him since we were brothers and that he wanted to help fix the family. I told them that the family was broken eight years ago when our parents threw me out and that I wasn't interested in fixing anything now just because their business was failing and they thought I could help them financially. Clark's face got red and he said I was

being selfish and that I should help family no matter what had happened in the past and that our parents had made mistakes, but they were willing to admit they were wrong now. Iris said that our parents were getting older and that I would regret not having a relationship with them when they were gone and that I was throwing away the only family I had over a silly argument from years ago. I started to close the door and Clark pushed against it and said I needed to listen to him and that I owed it to our parents to at least hear them out and give them a chance to apologize properly. I told him to get his hand off my door and that I didn't owe anyone anything and that our parents had made their choice.

Clark started yelling that I was being a spoiled brat and that I had always thought I was better than everyone else and that our parents were right to choose him over me because he actually cared about family. Rose came to the door and told Clark and Iris that they needed to leave and that they were disturbing our neighbors and Clark turned to her and said that she needed to mind her own business and that this was between family members. Rose said that I was her family now and that she wasn't going to let them harass me in my own home and that she would call the police if they didn't leave immediately.

Iris grabbed Clark's arm and tried to pull him away from the door and said they should go, but Clark shook her off and kept yelling at me. Clark said that our parents had sacrificed everything for us and that the restaurant was failing because he had made some bad decisions, but that we could save it if we all worked together and that I was being selfish by not helping when I clearly had money to spare. I told him that his gambling problem was not my responsibility and that I wasn't going to bail out a business that had never been meant for me anyway and that our parents had made it clear that the restaurant was his inheritance not mine. Clark said I was lying and that our parents had always

planned for both of us to work together and that I had ruined everything by leaving for college. The argument kept getting louder and Clark was standing in my doorway and wouldn't move and Iris was trying to calm him down but he kept yelling about how I had abandoned the family and how our parents were suffering because of my selfishness. I told him that our parents were suffering because they had raised a son who stole money from their business to pay gambling debts and that maybe they should focus on getting him help instead of trying to drag me back into their drama. Clark got even angrier and said that his gambling wasn't that bad

and that he had just made a few mistakes and that the real problem was that I had left and broken our parents' hearts. Rose stepped between us and told Clark that he needed to leave right now and that she was going to call the police and Clark said he wasn't afraid of the police and that he had every right to talk to his brother. I told him that I wasn't his brother anymore. Clark started crying and saying that he never wanted our parents to disson. own me and that he had tried to convince them to let me come back, but they had been too stubborn

and proud to admit they were wrong. I told him that he had never tried to help me and that he had posted on social media about how grateful he was for his real family and that he had enjoyed being the only son for the past eight years so he shouldn't pretend like he cared about me now. Clark said those posts weren't about me and that he had just been trying to make our parents feel better after I left and that he had always hoped I would come back someday. Iris finally managed to pull them away from the door and said they were leaving. and that maybe we could all talk when everyone was calmer. Clark kept yelling as Iris dragged him down the driveway and said that I would regret this and that family was supposed to forgive

each other and that I was making a huge mistake by not giving our parents another chance. I closed the door and locked it and Rose hugged me and said she was proud of me for standing up for myself and not letting them guilt me into doing something I didn't want to do. We could hear Clark yelling in the street for a few more minutes before Iris got him into their car and they drove away. Update 2 The next morning I woke up to a bunch of notifications on my phone and saw that several of my friends had tagged me in comments on social media.

I checked Clark's profile and saw that he had posted a long rant about our argument the night before an Iris had posted a video that she had apparently recorded on her phone while we were arguing. The video showed Clark standing at my door and you could hear him yelling about family and asking me to help our parents and then it showed me closing the door on him and you could hear Rose telling them to leave. Clark had written a post that said he had tried to reach out to his estranged brother to help heal their family and that I had been cruel and heartless and refused to even listen to him talk about our parents who were suffering and needed help.

He said that I had become cold and selfish since I got money and that I had forgotten where I came from and that I was choosing my pride over my family. The post had dozens of comments from people who didn't know the whole story saying that I was wrong and that I should forgive my parents and help them in their time of need. Iris had posted the video with a caption about how heartbreaking it was to watch a family be torn apart and how she couldn't understand how someone could turn their back on their parents who just wanted to reconcile and make things right. The video made it look like Clark was just trying to have a calm conversation and that I was being

unreasonable by not letting him in and by threatening to call the police. You couldn't really hear everything that was being said because the video was taken from outside and the sound quality wasn't very good, but it definitely made me look bad. I was really angry that they had recorded our private conversation without telling me and that they were trying to make me look like the bad guy when they were the ones who had shown up at my house uninvited and refused to leave when I asked them to. Rose was furious and said that Iris had no right to record us and post it online without our permission and that we should report the video for violating our privacy.

I didn't want to get into a big social media drama, but I was upset the people who didn't know anything about the situation were judging me based on a video that didn't show the whole story. My friend Sam, who I had known since college, saw the post and the video, and he commented asking Clark why he didn't mention that our parents had disown me eight years ago and thrown me out of the house when I wanted to go to college. Sam said that it was convenient that Clark was leaving out the part about how our parents had blocked my phone number and refused to see me for almost a decade and that now they only wanted me back because their business was failing and they thought I could help them financially. More of my friends.

started commenting and sharing their own stories about family members who had cut them off and then tried to come back when they needed something and they all said that I was doing the right thing by setting boundaries and not letting my parents back into my life just because they wanted something from me. The comments section turned into a big argument between my friends who were defending me and people who knew Clark and Iris who were saying that family should always forgive each other and that I was being petty and vindictive. Clark started responding to the comments and getting into arguments with my friends, and he kept saying that they didn't understand the situation and that I was lying about what had really happened eight years ago.

He said that our parents had never really disowned me and that I had just left on my own and refused to come back home. Clark got more and more defensive as more people called him out and he started deleting comments and blocking people who were disagreeing with him. Iris stopped responding to comments after my friends started pointing out that she had been married to Clark for less than two years and didn't know anything about what had happened when I was in high school. The post started getting shared by more people and the comments section became a mess of arguments between people who supported me and people who thought I should forgive my family.

By the afternoon, Clark had deleted the entire post and the video because too many people were calling him out and pointing out the holes in his story and he was getting embarrassed by all the negative attention. He sent me a private message saying that he hadn't meant for things to get so out of hand and that he just wanted to help our parents, but that he was sorry for posting about our argument online. I didn't respond to his message because I didn't want to encourage him to keep trying to contact me and I was still angry that he had tried to make me look bad on social media in the first place. Update 3, two days after Clark deleted his social media post my mom called my work number and somehow got transferred to my direct line even though I had never given my work information to any of my family members. I was in the middle of a meeting when my phone rang.

My mom started crying as soon as I said hello and said that she had gotten my work number from the company website and that she was sorry for bothering me, but she needed to talk to me about what had happened with Clark's social media post. She said that she and my dad had no idea that Clark was going to post about our argument online and that they were embarrassed and upset that he had tried to make me look bad when they were the ones who had made mistakes in the past. My mom said that Clark had told them about his post after my friend started commenting and that my dad had been angry with Clark for making the situation worse and for trying to manipulate people on social media. She said that that.

they had told Clark and Iris not to contact me anymore and that they wanted to apologize for sending them to my house in the first place. I told my mom that I was at work and couldn't have personal conversations during business hours and that she needed to stop calling me and leave me alone. My mom said that she understood I was angry but that she just wanted me to know that they weren't trying to manipulate me or use me for money and that they genuinely wanted to have a relationship with me again because they missed me and regretted what they had done. She said that they had been talking to a counselor about the situation and that they realized they had made terrible mistakes and that they wanted to make things right even if it took years to

rebuild our relationship. I told her that I wasn't interested in rebuilding our relationship and that I had moved on with my life and didn't need them anymore and that they had lost the right to be my parents when they threw me out. My mom started crying harder and said that she knew they deserved my anger but that they hoped someday I would be willing to forgive them and give them a chance to prove that they had changed. She said that they weren't asking for money or help with the restaurant and that they just wanted to be part of my life again and get to know the person I had become.

I told her that if she really wanted to prove she had changed, she would respect my wishes and stop contacting me and that calling my work number was inappropriate and could get me in trouble with my boss. My mom said she was sorry for calling me at work, but that she didn't know how else to reach me since I had blocked their phone numbers and that she was desperate to fix things between us. I told her that I had blocked their numbers for a reason and that I didn't want to be contacted by any of them and that if they kept trying to reach me I would file for a restraining order.

My mom got quiet for a minute and then said that she didn't want things to get to that point and that she would tell my dad and Clark that they needed to leave me alone and not try to contact me anymore. I told her that I was serious about the restraining order and that I had already filed a police report when they showed up at my house and that I had documentation of their harassment and that a judge would definitely grant the order if I asked. asked for one. My mom said she understood and that she would make sure everyone in the family knew not to contact me and that they would respect my decision even though it was breaking their hearts. I told her that I had to get back to work and that this was the last time I would accept a call from any of them and that if they tried to contact me again I would immediately file for the restraining order and have them arrested for violating it. My mom said she understood and that she loved me and that she would always love me even if she never got to see me again and then

she hung up. I was shaking after the phone call because I hadn't heard my mom's calm and loving voice in eight years and it brought back a lot of memories. I talked to my boss after the meeting and explained that I was having some family issues and that someone might try to call me at work again and that I would appreciate it if my calls could be screened and that only work-related calls should be transferred to my direct line. My boss said that HR could help me set up call screening and that I should let them know if anyone showed up at the office trying to see me. I also talked to building security and gave them pictures of my parents and Clark and Iris and told them not to let any of them into the building if they showed up.

I decided to be proactive and went to the courthouse the next day to get information about filing for a restraining order so that I would be prepared if my family tried to contact me again. The clerk gave me all the paperwork and explained the process and said that based on what I told her about them showing up at my house and refusing to leave and then calling my work I would probably qualify for a temporary restraining order. She said that the temporary order would be granted immediately and then there would be a hearing where a judge would decide whether to make it permanent. I filled out all the paperwork but didn't file it yet because I wanted to give my family one more chance to leave me alone like my mom had promised. I sent my mom a text message

from a number she didn't recognize and told her that I had gone to the courthouse and filled out restraining order paperwork and that it was ready to file and that if anyone in the family contacted me again, I would file it immediately. I told her that this was her last warning and that I was serious about protecting myself from their harassment. My mom texted back within an hour and said that she had talked to my dad and Clark and Iris and that they all understood and promised never to contact me again and that they would tell any other family members or friends not to reach out. To me either. She said that they were going to respect my wishes and leave me alone even though it was painful for them and that they hoped someday in the future I might change my mind

but that they wouldn't pressure me or try to force a relationship. She said that she was proud of the person I had become and that she was sorry for all the pain they had caused me. I didn't respond to her text message because I didn't want to encourage any more communication, but I felt relieved that they finally seemed to understand that I was serious about not wanting them in my life. It's been three weeks since my mom called my work and none of them have tried to contact me since then

and I haven't seen any social media posts about me or the situation. I still have the restraining order paperwork ready to file just in case, but it seems like they finally got the message that I'm not going to change my mind and that there will be legal consequences if they don't leave me alone. Rose and I have been talking about maybe moving to a different city in a year or two just to get a fresh start and make sure my family can't find us, but for now things seem to have calmed down and I'm hoping they will continue to respect my boundaries and leave me alone like they promised. I hope you enjoy this story.

I organized a celebration for my spouse and revealed his decade-long relationship with a hidden partner and child through a personalized dessert. As a result, he missed out on a major corporate opportunity and now everyone is aware, saying I went too far. Hi, so for context, my husband, Robbie, and I have been married for three years. He and I are both 31 and we have known each other for almost 10 years now. I met him at my first job and we became a because both of us were right out of college and we were the newbies at our company. We struck up a friendship and remained friends for a couple of years before he asked me out when our internship was about to end. We dated for a couple of months when we were in our early

20s but it fizzled out soon enough and we ended up breaking up. But then we met again at a friend's party when we were around 25 and we then rekindled our relationship. Both of us told each other that we had dated a couple of people in the middle, but things never really seemed to work out with those people and maybe the reason behind that was that we were meant to be together. Which is why we had run into each other after so long at one of the most unexpected places because we didn't really have a lot of common friends. So we decided to give things another chance, and this time, both of us were grown up as compared to earlier, so we made it work. After being together for three years and having lived together for one, we agreed that it was

about time to get married because things were going well and it just felt right. There was no formal proposal, as such, we just sort of came to an agreement about it. Anyway, three years ago, we got married, and things have been great since then. That's not to say that he and I don't fight, like any other couple, we also have had our ups and downs, but we always make up. He'll behavior around me has always been normal, and I have never really suspected anything, because I trust him, and I didn't think that he would ever lie to me about anything, because I like to think of myself as a very understanding person, so he would never feel the need to lie about the big stuff. So, after what I found out recently, my head was turned, and I honestly didn't know how to react

to any of it. Because finding out that your husband has a whole separate family that he has kept a secret from you for as long as you have been together, is never an easy thing to come to terms with. And because of the emotional devastation, I might have done something and gone overboard with my revenge or whatever, at least that's what people are telling me, but I don't see anything wrong. with what I did. Everyone thinks that I should have just dealt with this in person instead of airing our dirty laundry among friends and family and even a couple of his business associates. So I just want to know if I did the right thing and that's why I'm here right now. It all started a few weeks ago, Robbie was turning 31 and I wanted to celebrate his birthday.

But unfortunately, he told me that he had to go away on a business trip that week, and he wouldn't be here for his birthday. I was a little bummed out because I was looking forward to celebrate celebrating that day with him since I'm the kind of person who makes a big deal out of birthdays. But then I had a bright idea and I decided that I was going to surprise him on his birthday by showing up at the hotel that he was staying in and I decided to make it easier. I would speak to his secretary and make the necessary arrangements. Both my husband and I run businesses. I run an electronic store and he has a PR agency.

But the difference is that I started mine a couple of years ago and he inherited his dad's business and that's why. He's a lot more successful as a businessman than I am. Because I'm just starting out on my own and well, he already has everything laid out for him because his dad did a lot of work in his time and they were already a flourishing business when he took over. But I have never held that against him, and I am actually happy for his success. I've never been jealous of him or anything. Because I know that I am his wife and we are a team, his successes and failures are both mine, and it's supposed to go both ways. I'm mentioning this part now because it comes up later so I thought I'll just get it out of the way. Anyway, I spoke to Robbie's secretary and told

her that I was planning to surprise him on his birthday by showing up at the hotel, and I told her to make the necessary arrangements. She did so gladly and told me that she had booked a room for two and had also notified the hotel front desk staff about this surprise so they would let me up into his room when I showed up. And that was it, it was all arranged and I was quite excited about it because I thought it was a brilliant plan and we hadn't taken a vacation together for a really long time so we could turn his business trip into a mini vacation or maybe a staycation. Even on the day that he left for his business trip, everything was fine, and he told me that he loved me and everything. I couldn't have ever known what he was up to behind my back if he didn't

slack off on the day of his birthday, and I didn't happen to be at the right place at the right time. His birthday was two days after the day that he was supposed to leave for his trip and I flew out on the morning of his birthday to surprise him. When I reached the hotel, it was around two in the afternoon, and I knew that by then, whatever meetings he had, for the day were over, because Robbie doesn't meet anybody after 12 and everything else that he had scheduled for the day would start after 4, so I had enough time. I went up to the room and I had a key card of my own since the room had been booked for the two of us, but even when I took the key from the receptionists, things were kind of weird for me because they were shooting me really strange looks

that I couldn't make sense of. But I didn't think much of it, and I just headed up to his room. However, when I got there, I noticed that the door of his room was slightly ajar and I could look inside without much of an effort. That was important, because I could hear voices coming from the room,

and it was weird because I could hear a woman's voice and a child's voice as well, and as far as I was concerned, he had no business hanging out with a mother and a child. When I peaked in, my worst fears were confirmed and I saw Robbie sitting on the bed and playing with a little boy, while a woman around my age was seated on the edge of the bed and all of them looked really carefree and happy. The boy couldn't have been older than maybe five or six and I didn't get a good look but

Robbie and that boy were playing something on his iPad. There was a lot of laughter and I'm not an idiot. I instantly recognized what was going on. I had read enough books and watched enough movies to know what was happening here and I didn't want to stick around to find out more about it. So I decided to make a run for it before any of them opened the door and found me outside it. But before that, I had enough presence of mind to make sure to get a picture of it on my phone and then, I started running.

I also thought that maybe if I didn't confront the problem, it would go away, but of course, that's not how it works. I literally ran out of the hotel, took the first cab that I could. could find, and rushed back to the airport. I booked a seat on the first flight that I could find to go back home and only had to wait for around two hours for it to take off. And I think that I pretty much went through all the five stages of grief in those two hours because I just couldn't accept what I had seen and suddenly, the looks that the receptionists had been shooting me made a lot more sense. I was rattled to the very core, and I tried to make sense of what I had seen,

I even tried to come up with perfectly innocent explanations, but none of it added up. Towards the end, I was forced to admit that Robbie had a secret family that I knew nothing about and that was just the truth. It was a horrifying realization and I was in denial of it for a couple of hours, but no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't run away from the truth. After I got home that day, I started thinking about what I was supposed to do next because there was no way that I was staying with him anymore. I knew I had seen that. I confronted him about it, he would just come up with some story to defend himself. Being the emotional fool that I am, would probably buy it and give him a second chance,

and I didn't want to risk it in the slightest. Just to be on the safe side, I decided to do some digging of my own, and I knew that if he had a son and a partner, they were bound to be financial records of something or the other, so I could catch him in his lie. So I talked to his secretary and I told her that I needed his financial report for the past three years urgently. She and I are on good terms, and I just made up some story about how I needed it because I wanted our lawyer to look through it in case of some discrepancies, and reassured her that my husband had asked for it because the company was about to be audited and he didn't want

his personal expenses to have any mismatch either. So she sent the records to me, and I had my lawyer look through all his bank statements for the past few years and realized that every month, there was a huge payment that was released from his end and was received by an account that was located in the very place that he claimed to be going for business trips quite frequently. I had just figured that maybe he had some important client there, which is why he had to visit them every month. But now, everything was much more clear to me, and it all made sense and I spoke to a well-known divorce attorney right after I found out the truth and filed for a divorce. After I had made sure that there was no way he was not cheating on me with a secret family, I decided that I was not going

to let this slide. Call me crazy, but my first instinct when I confirmed that he was visiting his family, was not to feel bad about it, but to feel pure hatred and rage and the desire to get revenge on him. I had cried enough about it, I just wanted to get back at him and get it over with. So for the next couple of days, I pretended that everything was fine and that I was just in love with him as I had been before I found out the truth. I had been ignoring him for two days after I came back from my visit, but then I resumed my normal behavior so that he wouldn't suspect anything. and I also made sure that his secretary kept her mouth shut about everything so she wouldn't ask him anything about the surprise and told her that I hadn't actually been able to visit him

because I got sick and I told her not to mention any of it to Robbie, so he wouldn't worry and she didn't, thankfully. I did everything in my control to make sure that he wouldn't find out about my visit and wouldn't suspect anything. In the meantime, I continued to plan for the real surprise that I was going to give him when he came back from his trip. A few days ago, he finally came back. and I had to pretend to be in love with him and act like I missed him, knowing what I knew,

which was very difficult and I was sick to my stomach doing it, but I had to put up an act, and I had to be convincing at it because I didn't want him to miss the party that I had organized for him. The evening that he came back, I had invited all our friends, family, and some of his co-workers and business associates to have dinner with us. I also knew that he had been trying to crack a deal with a very well-known industrialist and I invited him as well because I wanted to hurt Robbie. I didn't really think things through, if I'm being honest, I just was too caught up in the idea of getting revenge and hurting him just as much as he had hurt me and didn't think about the consequences of my actions. So anyway, I had everyone come over and everybody was there.

I brought my husband out into the living room and told him that this was a surprise birthday party for him. Everybody greeted him and stuff, and once that was over, I brought out the best part of the party. The part that I was the most excited about was the cake. Because in the spirit of revenge and exposing him and his dirty little secret, I had decided to get that image of him with his other family that I had clicked from outside the hotel room digitally printed on the cake and when I uncovered it, everyone was shocked. Most of all, Robbie, because I could tell from his face that he had not been expecting this. His face fell, and he kept looking at the floor as it was going to open up and swallow him or whatever, but unfortunately, none of that was going to happen.

that he had been caught in his lies and there was no hiding it anymore. But when I started talking, he still tried to tell me to stop and said that he would do anything to keep me from spilling the beans. It was just a last-ditch desperate effort to keep this a secret, but I think everybody in the room had already figured out what was going on by then. They were just waiting around for me to confirm it, and I was not going to deny them the pleasure of that. So, for the first time in my life, I told Robbie to shut up and let me talk because he was not

going to get away with what he did, and I was going to make sure of it. I told everybody that I had gone digging through his financial records, and I had found out that he had been sending money every month to his other family, and this went back almost a decade. This meant that throughout the time that he had been with me, he had been hiding a secret family from me, and had been cheating on me all along. I looked at him to confirm the story or tried to deny it when the proof was so clearly placed in front of us on the cake, but he just stood there and refused to say a word. But I kept taunting him, asking him to speak up and give us all an explanation, because I wanted him to feel as humiliated as I had felt when I showed up at his hotel room and saw him chilling

with some other family. And at one point, I think I finally broke him, and he cracked and started talking. He lost his mind and started yelling at me, saying that, yes, he did have another family, but it was none of my business and that he regretted the fact that he married me instead of Elena, who I can only assume is his affair partner. I was quite shocked by that outburst, but I stood my ground and we got into a nasty fight in front of all his friends and family and his business associates as well. He told me that he had been seeing Elena before he met me and reconnected with me, but things

had just been casual with her and they were not very serious. Which is why he asked me out again, and we got together, but a few months after we got together again, Elena contacted him to tell him that she was pregnant and wanted an answer as to whether he was willing to be a part of the child's life or not. He said he had wanted to tell me about it and be honest with me, but he didn't want to risk it and jeopardize our relationship again because he really liked me and he wasn't sure if I would still stay with him once I found out that he was going to have a baby with another woman before me. So he thought that he would hide it for a couple of months, at least until the child was born. But then months turned into years and the longer

he waited to tell me, the more awkward it became. And then, before he knew it, we were getting married, and there was just no way he could bring it up now without breaking my heart. So he just never told me and that's how I had to find out. He also mentioned that the affair with Elena was a recent development, and that it started only a couple of months ago, but before that, they only had a strictly platonic co-parenting arrangement. But for the past few months, they had been seeing each other more often because he was sick of me. Elena knew about me, and she had no problem with it because he had promised her that he was

going to leave me when the time was right and had made up his mind that he was going to file for divorce soon because apparently, I am crazy. And I don't deserve to be with him anyway. And he said all this, rather screamed all of this right at my face, in front of all the guests. So suffice it to say, I had intended to humiliate him at the party, but that was a bit humiliating for me as well. However, I still had the divorce papers that I had filed for, and as soon as he said that he was going to file for divorce, I went into my study and brought my papers out and then shoved them at him and told him that I had already beaten him to it. Then I walked out of the party to my car and started driving. I had already packed a few of my things in a bag and stashed it in the car

for a quick getaway and I also knew which hotel I was going to be at for the next few weeks. My blood was boiling, so I didn't check my messages or notifications for the next couple of hours, but when I did, I realized that most people agreed that I had taken it way too far. There were messages from my friends, who said that while they understood my anger and resentment against Robbie, throwing a party, just with the purpose of humiliating, was a little too much, and they think I owed him an apology because apparently, he lost the business deal that he was working on because of me. My parents also felt the same way, and I was just surprised that so many people were on his side when he was the one who cheated on me.

They had the same reason as well, they said that it was unfair because he lost a huge deal because of me and he could even sue me for defamation if he wanted to so it would be in my best interest to apologize to him and tell him that I just lost my mind for a bit after I found out that he was not being honest with me. However, I don't think that he can file any sort of lawsuit against me because whatever I said at the party was true. And more importantly, I really don't think that I owe him any sort of apology, because if he didn't want to get caught and humiliated, he probably shouldn't have cheated on me. And as for the deal that he lost, I also think that is his own fault because I didn't make him cheat on me and turn out to be a dishonest, lying piece of crap. Apparently, after I left, everybody started clearing out almost immediately, and Robbie tried

to stop the CEO of the firm that I had mentioned before who he had been trying to crack a deal with. Everything that just happened was obviously very embarrassing, but he still couldn't let that deal go to waste because he had been working for months to crack it. So he tried to stop the guy and talk to him, but I guess he didn't want to work with Robbie anymore because of what just happened. The rejection was quite public as well and apparently, the CEO guy told my husband, politely and gently as he could, that he believed it would be for the best if he focused on his personal life just now, and since his firm was a pretty huge account, he didn't believe it was his cup of tea right now, and the deal would go to somebody else. And then he left, and as soon as he

left, Robbie broke down into tears, and some of the guests stayed back to comfort him. I find it all a bit ridiculous, if I'm being honest, because he lost everything because of his own behavior and his own infidelity. I think it's really unfair to blame me for any of this and yet, that's what people are doing. I can't make sense of it, but I'm getting sick of people blaming me. Ever since I left the house, people have been texting me and telling me that what I did was messed up and that I need to make am am am am am at fault and I am really at a loss for what to do. I really don't think that Robbie deserves an apology, that's not happening, but I also feel bad because everybody's just being really harsh on me. So Ida for throwing a party just to

humiliate my husband and expose his dirty little secret when I found out that he had a secret family? Update 1, hello. Thank you so much for all the support in the comments of my original post. I am glad to hear that a lot of people agree that I shouldn't have held back, but what I did was perfectly right. I feel the same way, obviously. This is why I have decided that I am going to cut everybody out of my life if they continue to tell me that I am the one at fall for this.

Because I'm getting really sick of taking the fall when I'm not even the one who cheated. To be honest, I wish I could show my parents and a few of my friends some of the responses and comments that I got on my original post about people saying how they would have gone scorched earth and that they would have taken it even further than me. So they would really understand how bad it was to get betrayed by your husband of three years and partner of almost six years. To find out that everything that you had believed for so long was just a lie. I don't think anybody knows how I'm feeling right now, so they don't have the right to judge

me and make me feel bad about everything that I did. I'll admit that I thought humiliating him, but made me feel better but it didn't. But that doesn't mean that what I did was wrong in any sense of the word. Now that the party is over and I don't have anything to plan, I just have the divorce to look forward to. I'm having to deal with the full emotional impact of what has happened and what is going to happen in the future and I can tell you guys, it's not easy. And I don't need people to make it more difficult for me by telling me that I'm wrong and that I need to apologize and stupid stuff like that. If they can't understand where I'm coming from and why I was so angry, that's fine. But now, I have decided that I am going to respond to each and every

single person who texted me and tell them that, if they don't shut up, then I will just block them and move on and never speak to them again. So if that's what they want, they can continue to take his side and try to make me the bad guy. But they want me to be a good guy. But they want me to a part of their lives, they're going to have to apologize to me and tell me that they were wrong. I'm not going to excuse people defending a cheater and still have any access to me anymore, that's not happening. Update 2, so I received Robbie's response to the divorce papers today, and my lawyer told me that he had consented to a mutual divorce. And I was honestly very relieved because it's all happening on my terms, so there won't be much of a problem during the negotiations. I also told my parents and a

a couple of my friends, but I had said I would tell them in my last update, and most of them did not speak to me. But I'm fine with that, it's very obvious that they were never my friends in the first place, and they were all Robbie's friends. My parents, however, came to their senses and apologized to me. They said that they just felt bad for Robbie because he was devastated after I revealed his secret because apparently, he had put in a lot of work to hide it, and that was quite obvious. And his parents were also very upset, because they believed that it was none of my business. I don't even know why they think it's enough of my business

because I'm literally his wife. It is most certainly my business if my husband has another family that he's not telling me about, but whatever, I don't even care what his family thinks of me anymore, because they had been helping him to hide it all along. I'm really glad that he lost the deal that he had been working on, he deserves it. And I honestly hope that every bad thing happens to him now

because I'm not a large-hearted person who wishes the best for the people, who have done me wrong. I wish the worst for him because he is the worst. And also for anybody who went against me and told me that I was wrong here. They can all go jump off a cliff, for all I care. I'm going to continue to defend what I did because even before I had done it, I did not think there was anything wrong with it. I did not think there was anything wrong with what I was doing even while I was doing it and even now, it's the same. So everybody can take a hike. Robbie got what he deserved and I'm going to hope that he learns a lesson from this. Update 3, hey, so it's been almost a year since I filed for divorce from Robbie and it came through about six months ago.

We were done with our marriage as soon as the waiting period was over and now, I am free as a bird. I heard that he moved Elena and his son down here and they are all living together now. Whatever, it doesn't matter to me anymore because I'm also doing a lot better than him. My business really took off a couple of months ago and we are doing great. I live in a much better house now and I have everything that I could ask for. I'm not dating anybody right now because I'm just so busy but it's very much on the table for me in the future. And I know that everything will fall back into place eventually. I'm glad that Robbie showed me his true colors because if he hadn't then maybe I wouldn't

have this life right now because I really threw myself into my work after the divorce. I'm honestly just grateful for everything and now I know that whatever happened, happened for the best. You. I hope you enjoy this story. Joyfully wedded to my spouse of eight years, yet unable to rid myself of the strong allure towards a fresh colleague who recently revealed his emotions for me. I have been in a delightful relationship with my outstanding partner. Husbands since we were 2021. We have an amazing relationship with each other,

still make time for dates every week, and really just enjoy each other. He became my best friend pretty instantly from when we started hanging out in high school, and that still hasn't changed today. I have a girlfriend who I do call my best friend, and outside of my marriage she is, but even that doesn't compare to the friendship I have with my husband. We've had our rough patches, but never anything very severe. There are some things I need to change about myself and things he needs to work on as well. Nothing relationship ending, just things that we need to do to be better people and better partners, and I doubt this will ever change as it's impossible to just be perfect people. We don't have any children, nor are children in our future. We both work and bring home

pretty decent money, although we've both had small patches of unemployment in the past and were supported by the other. There's never been any hostility over the finances, regardless of who is making more or who is supporting whom. Our marriage has survived depression, alcoholism, and a couple of physical medical conditions, all met with overwhelming support from each other. We are a great team. Our sex life is great and really active. A dry spell for us is going to work week without having sex because one or both of us are just too exhausted, but that is not very common. We get along well with each other's families, and my family has really bonded with my husband. As far as they are concerned, he's just another son slash brother. He's everything I could

have ever hoped for in a husband and more, and I really truly love him. Now, I felt myself attracted to others in the past, and I'm sure he has been through the same, but it's not anything we've ever discussed with each other. I know that it's normal, and it's never been anything too intense before. If I find myself starting to get feelings for someone who I see a lot, it doesn't take much to shake off. This is the first time I've ever dealt with feeling so intense, and I don't really know what to do next. My co-worker is very attractive, super friendly, and I just enjoy being around him. We started working at this company around the same time, roughly eight months ago. We were in training together for a couple of weeks, which was absolute torture.

My feelings came on strong and came on quick. I'm sure I've turned red when he flashes me a smile. It would be embarrassing enough if I were single simply because we work together, but I'm married and I feel like that probably looks really poorly on me. We don't work together anymore, but our departments are close and if he walks through my section he'll put his hand my on shoulder and give it a squeeze to get my attention when he's walking by, then flash me that smile. I'll make conversation if we pass each other or are at a work event together, but I do

the same with pretty much everyone I've worked with slash currently work with. We don't have each other on social media, haven't exchanged numbers, and don't see each other outside of work. I was invited out to a bar nearby by him and a few others a couple of times, but turned them down. I work in a male-dominated field, and didn't feel right being the only woman out at the bar with a bunch of guys, especially one who I do feel this way about. I avoid his floor at work when possible, and if he's on lunch at the same time I'll say hi

as I pass, but just grab my stuff and eat on the patio or on another floor. I try to just avoid thinking about him or remind myself of how dumb I'm being, but I can't shake this feeling. I'm not afraid I'm going to be an idiot and let passion take over or any of that nonsense, and I think all of those excuses for one-time mistakes are garbage. I'm in control of my actions and could never be so cruel to my husband. I just don't know what to do to shake these feelings. The last time I felt such a strong desire for someone was when I met my husband. We were great friends instantly, and hung out slash fooled around for about a year before we made things serious. I was very young when we got together, and none of my relationships prior were

very serious. I just never felt so strongly attracted to someone, and didn't think it was even possible to with anyone else. I don't compare my husband to my co-worker or vice versa, and that's not what I'm trying to do here either. I've just been able to shake it off any time I've had feelings come on for someone else. It doesn't matter what I do with this guy though. If I think about it him it's hard to get him off my mind regardless of what's going on around me. I have gone weeks without running into him and he won't cross my mind, but then I can catch a glimpse of him when I'm strolling into work and my heart will start racing faster.

I have a desire to be around him and be close to him, and I just need it to go away. I feel like I'm in high school all over again, except instead of daydreaming in class I'm trying to get this dude off my mind and get some damn work done. I know that Reddit is big on full disclosure, but this is not something I will be discussing with my husband. These feelings aren't coming out of neglect or one in my relationship with him. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by being with him, and there's nothing that he can do that would fix this for me. If you were feeling the same way about someone, I can honestly say I wouldn't want to hear about it. If he felt neglected and like my actions were causing him to desire affection elsewhere, then that would be a different story.

I know that this is something that would affect him really bad, and I don't want him to feel uncomfortable for the 40 to 50 hours a week that I'm in the same building with this guy when there's nothing he could do or say that would change what's going on with me, and there's no chance of me crossing a line. I just don't see the purpose in creating an issue in my marriage when there isn't one. Update 1. I, 29F, have been with husband, 29M, for eight years. I have feelings for a co-worker, 30M, that I can't shake. Before the update, I would like to clear something up that I think I may have worded poorly. My job is not male-dominated in the sense that there's 300 employees and

like four women. We're probably closer to 25% to 30% female employees, the rest being male. We all each other a hard time and play around, and it's not just all the guys here petting on the women. I've only had female co-workers mess with my hair as they're running by, similar to what I do with my sisters. The extent of touch that I've gotten slash given to any of the guys here has been a pat on the back for a good job and a rough clothes, handshakes, pat on the shoulder and passing to get their attention while going to make copies. And I've hugged one male co-worker who was retiring, and whose wife was there for the retirement party. This isn't a stuffy office setting, but this isn't HR's nightmare either.

That being said, I did need to find a way to put distance between co-worker and myself given the reaction he got out of me even with something as simple as I contact. So, now on to the update. I am friends with my husband's boss's wife, and gave her a call to help get his time off. His employer is very lenient on time off, and I just set it up so that the they were expecting him to call out. We had a romantic extended weekend away, and it gave me a chance to really appreciate him. Thank you to the Redditors who advised putting more focus on us. I don't think I would have planned the surprise otherwise. Now, back to work. A lot has happened in the

last month, and I'm planning on going no contact with co-worker the very second that I can. Shortly after I returned, I found out that he had put in for a transfer into my department, and had also been added onto my team. No problem, I'm an adult, I can behave like an adult, and the time away to clear my head and reevaluate where I was putting my energy had had a bigger effect than I anticipated. Well, things got a little weird. He started grabbing me coffee when he'd pick his up because I took on a new project and was showing up earlier slash staying later than normal, but didn't do this for anyone else whose workload had increased. About four of us took on new clients. Our lunches lined up little more frequently, I got friends slash follow requests on social media, declined, stuff like

that. I felt like he would stand a little closer to me than what was comfortable, but at this point still felt like I was reading too much into it. It was confusing and difficult given that this feeling isn't wanted, but I do just feel drawn to him, like there's a connection I desperately want to break. I always park by the smoking section because I have a filthy habit and like to be close, and he caught me tonight while I was walking out to my car. He stopped me and asked to bum a smoke, and we talked for a couple of minutes. He then said he had something kind of uncomfortable to talk to me about. He told me he had felt really attracted to me since we first met, and that working more closely with me has shown him that he has some real feelings for me.

He says he knows that I'm married and will respect any boundaries I set up, but that he hasn't felt this strongly about someone before and he couldn't live with the what-ifs. Apparently he went so far as to end things with his girlfriend, and is now staying with his parents for a couple of weeks while he gets a new place lined up. He said he could feel something between us and didn't think it was only him. I told him that I am very happily married and that he shouldn't mistake my friendliness with flirtation, and that he needs to learn more appropriate boundaries with co-workers. I asked him to give me distance and that if it wasn't work-related there was no reason to discuss it because we are co-workers, not friends, and left. He looked a little defeated and apologized for overstepping.

My husband is out of town on a work trip so I had to come home to an empty house feeling the weirdest mix of emotions I've had since this whole mess started. Like slash you slash in underscore the underscore ether mentioned in my last post, this is most definitely something wonky going on with our pheromones causing the weird flutter of emotions. The way he came across letting me know he was okay if I cheated on my husband with him painted him in a whole new light. He doesn't seem like this charming guy anymore, just a Dushabag who probably hasn't been told no enough times in his life.

I have trouble falling asleep by myself and this whole situation has been a mess so sorry for any weird formatting. I'm exhausted and figured I may as well update while everything is fresh. I'm confused. I still think he's really attractive, but I'm not equally repulsed by him as a person overall. Edit well, this certainly blew up way more than expected. I just wanted to thank those of you who responded with advice and kind words. A special thanks to everyone who didn't read the first post and have been calling me a tease and a

slut. It's nice to get a good laugh in. To those who missed my comments addressing it, my husband will be given full details of our encounters when he returns home. I don't want him getting worked up while he's so far away. I won't be telling him about my feelings towards co-worker, because they are irrelevant to the situation that is now progressing. Anyways, mini update. I didn't go into work today, but I did get an email from coworker.

It starts with what seems like a sincere apology to then offering to buy me dinner this weekend to make it up to me. I responded with your advances made me very uncomfortable, and I will say again that I am not interested. in setting you outside of work. His second email was another apology while making sure I knew the offer for dinner as friends to make it up to me would still be on the table. I did not respond to the second one, and he has not reached out again today. I am in a bit of a weird place. Growing a bigger dislike towards co-worker, while still having those weird primal feelings.

Planning a nice dinner in and some Netflix and chill when my husband gets home. Definitely putting in for a department change when one becomes available. I've spent a little time browsing job postings, but I do love where I work so I don't think that's the best solution. Comments where OP has replied. On telling her husband. I talked to him a bit before bed and let him know the gist of it. I didn't want him getting worked up while he was away,

so I just told him a co-worker asked me on a date and we joked about it a little. I'll be going into detail with him once he gets back, though. and I'm definitely telling my husband about this encounter. He's away for a few days and I don't want him getting worked up over all of this before we can discuss it face to face. He won't know about my crush, just that I've been approached and shut it down. Those are the important details. I've gone out of my way to avoid this co-worker before he moved to my department and it became impossible. I never had any plans of cheating and I'm not worried about my feelings overcoming me.

My original post was just asking for suggestions on how to make it stop, since I want doing a very good job at it on my own. And exactly this. I know it's something that would upset him. I'm telling him about the encounter with my co-worker since if anything happens again and I need to go to HR about it, I don't want it to be some big surprise. My husband doesn't need to know about my crush because it's entirely irrelevant. OOP on her thoughts of infidelity. Thanks. I really am, and I'm a lot more sure of myself than I was when I first posted. Maybe it's that I've been cheated on in the past, but I have a no-tolerance policy for that

kind of bullshit. Don't cheat and don't help anyone else cheat. Her thoughts on the sleaze ball wanting an affair. I disagree, but in an attempt to keep my post short I didn't go into quite as much detail as I maybe should have. He made it pretty clear that he was open to having an affair with me, which screams sleazy in my book. And, we only ever saw each other in passing, so I didn't have much time to give myself away. That being said, regardless of whether he was sincere or not, there is so much wrong with this and so much that doesn't add up. I don't tertiary him,

but regardless of what's really going on in his head I can't respect someone who makes a pass at someone and later, especially if they're married. O-O-O-Pion passed dealing with a slees ball. I never flirted with him. We tarn saw each other before he moved into my department, and I'd never be the one to start conversation because of how I felt. I was friendly but didn't go out of my way for anything. The coffee he brought me was declined every morning until it just sat on my desk.

Or lunches were only at the same time when I left first. I declined all friend requests online and he still doesn't have my number. Aside from maybe blushing a couple of times, which is a physical reaction that can't be controlled, and something I do often over mundane shit anyways so not unusual, I didn't behave in a way that screamed I want you. Just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean I've acted on it. On dealing with the sleaze ball in the office and staying away. Absolutely.

I'm also considering putting in for a transfer as well. well when a new position becomes open. I love my company and don't want to leave over something as trivial as this, but I also just need to get away. On informing HR or her employers. I called my boss this morning and let them know what happened. While I'm not interested in talking to HR straight away, if this happens again I want a reference point to be able to bring up that way I don't get any sort of why didn't you say anything to anyone when this stayed. Reaction. Now on to the next story. Story 2.

One day I found a series of voicemails on my landline between my wife and our neighbor, so I did this. I, 29M, and my ex-wife, 28F, were married for barely three years before I discovered something that scattered our marriage. My wife and I knew each other from college, but only dated three years after graduating. One of the things I loved about my wife was that we were like-minded and believed. in a simple yet happy life. We were also Christians, and she was more devoted than I was. I didn't see this as a red flag because I came from a devoted Christian home, but I was only a Sunday church gore and nothing more. On the other hand, my wife was a worker in the church, and I think she functioned in about three different departments. This is just to explain how involved she was

with church activities. After three years of dating, my wife and I married and started life on a fresh slate. We were so in love with each other, or so I believed, and we had no children. She said something about having kids from age 32, so we could find our feet before we brought babies into the world. I am a very peaceful and quiet person in nature, while my wife was an extrovert. She was the kind of person who literally knew one thing or the other about the neighbors, the people in the church, or whoever she found herself around. So, this is to say a couple of people did not really like her because they felt she was overdoing it sometimes. As mentioned earlier, I went to church only on Sundays because my job demanded most of my time during the weekday.

My wife worked with shifts and always had her way of fixing her shifts in her favor, so it wouldn't clash with her church activities. Throughout our marriage, I admired her dedication, and most times, would tease her and say I'd be like her someday. As a couple, we drove to church together on Sundays and had been doing this for almost two years. Our church was small, so everyone knew everyone there, and we were like a big happy family. When we were getting close to the second year of our marriage, I noticed that my wife and our preacher were getting too close, but I didn't think anything was wrong. My mistake. Most times, if he was in our street, he would drop by our house to either say hello or discuss some things with my wife and each time I asked her about it, she'd either

mentioned something in church or come up with an excuse. In the end, I didn't think about any of the reasons she gave, I only asked, and whatever response I got from her, I wouldn't think about it. Nothing fishy crossed my mind because I trusted my wife so much, and I didn't even nurse the idea that something could be happening between my wife and our preacher. Most times, he'd drop by our house, and I'd ask him to wait for my wife to come home, and I'd try my best to take care of him until my wife returned. I did this most of the time because I respected our preacher a lot, and I felt it was bad to have a man of God over and not treat him as one. For once, I never wondered why our preacher was always driving along our street like he claimed and would

always drop by my house. It felt natural to me, and I honestly believed our house was not the only house he dropped by. For months, I watched my wife and preacher get close until I got shocking news from his wife. That Sunday, my wife and I went to church as usual, and we enjoyed the sermon and every bit of service. After service, while we exchanged pleasantries as usual, our preacher's wife pulled me from the midst of people and said she had something to tell me in private. When we had our privacy, she told me something that changed the direction of my marriage. She told me my wife was having an affair with her husband, and I thought she was pulling my legs, but it was the truth. According to my preacher's wife, she had been doing some investigations

because her husband had been acting differently at home, and after she did some digging. She saw that her husband communicated with my wife the most, and she even found some sensual messages between them. To also be sure of what she found out, she hired someone to follow her husband so she could confirm, and she told me that every Sunday evening, my wife and her husband, the preacher, would go to a cheap apartment downtown and they would spend time there for hours before they returned home. Even with everything she said, I didn't believe her because I could vouch that my wife went to work on Sunday evenings. I had dropped her at her place of work a few times, and it didn't make any sense to me. All of my doubts were cleared when she showed me that

the preacher had been spending donation money. The same donation money has psychologically brainwashed people to donate so he could use it for the Lord's work. After hearing enough, I thanked her and got the address of the downtown apartment she talked about. I also told my wife not to bother about coming home, and I drove off angrily. I was heartbroken when I witnessed it, and my wife kept blowing up my phone the whole night. She left multiple voicemails saying she could explain everything and we needed to talk. That night, I could not sleep because I thought about all the airs. areas or things I must have failed as a husband for my wife to cheat on me. The next day,

she came by the house and met her bags packed on the front porch. I told her we were done and she would hear from my lawyer soon. Then I banged the door in her face. Meanwhile, I posted the recording from the night on our church platform, and everyone was shocked and disappointed. And with the help of our preacher's wife, I posted the financial records too. This one, in particular, caused many of our church members to stop going to church, and they insisted they would only return after our preacher was replaced with a new preacher eventually. I divorced my wife so she could go and be with her lover, and the preacher's wife did the same thing. The town we lived in was small, so the word spread fast. And she was shunned by our community until she went back to her parents' town.

This happened about a year ago, and I still have not gotten over it till now. Women just have their ways of doing the most embarrassing things. I had to stop attending church services so the matter could die down. To date, I feel embarrassed whenever I bump into a familiar church member. I may fall in love again, but till then, I'll enjoy my single and peaceful state. I hope you enjoy this story. My spouse, aged 27 and I, age 28, have been in a relationship for six years and tied to not one and a half years ago. I have a suspicion that she is being unfaithful to me. She does not seem willing to be open about it.

To work on the relationship issues we've been struggling with, need advice, encouragement, and perspective. Sorry for the long post, I'm happy to answer any questions or provide further details as needed just ask. So things have been pretty rocky between my wife and I for several months, we had a rough 2020, didn't most of us. But I thought it was more due to the stress of my job than COVID-19, then she lost her job and my job started getting worse as I felt a stressful anxiety to perform even better as the only income earner at the time. Then she started a new job and we sort of drifted apart. Early this year we had a talk about this where I expressed my sadness that we are so distant and haven't connected in a long time. We haven't been physically intimate in nearly all this time tier. In early April I commenced individual therapy and it has really helped me process my thoughts and feelings and I've been actively trying to share those with my wife and be confident in being vulnerable and honest and genuine. She told me, however, that she feels like she is smothered and overwhelmed and need space which I've tried to respect and give to her through all of this, though, she's indicated that she does want to work on improving things with me and getting to a place where we can both be happy.

So I've had hope that if I keep trying and putting an effort, things will move toward a better place. It hasn't, I don't know if anything I'm doing is helping or hurting, giving space, trying to be more supportive of her, not trying to be controlling or restrictive. She still seems so far away, I find myself holding back things if normally be excited to tell her about because she gives off a vibe that I annoy and distract and bother her. I brought this up to her and how I felt like she's not putting in much effort. From my point of view, and that I don't think there's a way to improve our relationship without actually spending time together talking about it and addressing it, she indicated that she had been trying and putting an effort for the past year and felt like I was the one who wasn't doing anything and now she's kind of burnt out. I apologized and said I can't change what I did or did not do in the past, but I'm ready and willing in trying hard to fix things now, but I need her help too. She didn't have much to say to that, and because of the distance between us, I've started to notice how close she has gotten with a co-worker of hers. A single guy, about my age, they see each other every day, go out to lunch almost every day, sometimes just the two of them, sometimes with others.

My wife frequently stays late at work and, though not confirmed to me, I'm pretty sure he's always there too. They go out for drinks with co-workers and have attended soccer games together, just the two of them, and then gone out to bars and I know they've gone over to his place till after midnight as well. This all makes me feel super uneasy and hurt. My wife doesn't do any of this with me, in fact it seems like a chore to her to have to spend time with me, but she willingly and gleefully seems to adore being around this guy, I'll call him Mark for ease of reference. This has been happening since like early March at least. I didn't bring anything up then because. 1. She even mentioned to me that she didn't want to make me sad by hanging out with Mark, but that he's a good guy and had never tried anything. 2. Things were starting to get rocky between me and her and I wasn't confident enough to assert myself. 3. I didn't want to feel like the jealous boyfriend type and tell her she can't be friends with a guy. Well, as things have deteriorated between us and I've observed her talking to him and spending what seems like most of her time,

with him, it's been hurting me more and more. I told her last week that they are making me uncomfortable, she asked well, what do you want me to do about it? And I felt very strongly that she should be the one to decide what she wants to do with the information I give to her about my feelings on her closeness with Mark, she never suggested anything. Just said that I can put my mind at ease about that and it kind of tapered off into her accusing me of not trusting her.

I told her that I do trust her to Jot do anything physical with him, but that I do not trust Mark because I don't know him. She seemed taken aback by that. After I told my wife that I was uncomfortable with her and Mark being together so much in their friendship or whatever it is, I felt very strongly that I shouldn't tell her what to do or anything. I didn't want her to feel controlled by me, but she also didn't propose anything to resolve this herself.

The next few days I did notice she was at home more often and didn't go out for her usual drinks and happy hour with coworkers, which usually resulted in her spending extra time afterwards with Mark. I could tell she was sad and really down and I ended up telling her that I want her to be happy and do what makes her happy and I worry that she basically took that to mean that she should continue doing whatever she's doing with Mark, regardless of my feelings. I've spoken with my therapist about my feelings on this and what I'm wary about and what is giving me pause and anxiety about my wife's friendship with her coworker. I told my therapist, about how it makes me uncomfortable that my wife and Mark see each other all the time, that

she chooses actively to spend more time with Mark than me, that she seems to constantly be texting him, that I've seen her sitting on the other couch near me. Texting him long threads or continually chatting when I am lucky when she sends me three texts during the day, that she has on several occasions gone out drinking with him and then went over to his place and didn't get home until around 2 a.m. when he drove her home. That just last weekend she brought our dog over while she went to. out with some girlfriends and had Mark Dogg sit while I was out of town and didn't even tell me about that until after the fact that she seems to be happier when she comes back

from hanging out with him or when she's talking him. That reminds me of how she seemed enacted when we were first dating and getting to know each other and that crushes me, I just have really weird gut feelings about the whole thing. From my perspective, Dash, which is the only one I have since she won't talk to me about this dash I feel like lines have been crossed that should not be in a marriage, in fairness to her, maybe she doesn't think any boundaries have been broken or maybe she is towing the line and it's only a matter of time until stuff gets physical. I told my therapist that it hurt me when I explicitly told my wife last Sunday that her closeness with him is making me uncomfortable and uneasy. She immediately responded with, well, we are just friends, so you can put your mind at ease about that,

and then immediately shifted the conversation to, well, what do you want me to do about it? He's one of the few things that have brought me happiness and support lately which absolutely crushed me, it doesn't feel to me like they are just friends and I can't shake the weird feeling, and it makes me feel so bad and guilty to feel like this, because I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and not assume the worst. But also I feel like my feelings are valid and deserve to be respected too. Anyway, after I told her that I want her to be happy and do what makes her happy, this past Saturday night she went to a co-worker's wedding with a big group. This has been planned for a while,

it was a small wedding, and I didn't go. Mark was there. They all got super drunk together and then a DD brought her home at 1 a.m. and she was absolutely wasted and while I was helping get her into bed and making sure she'd be okay, she just kept repeating over and overhouse Mark. Is Mark okay? Did Mark get home? And I said I'm sure he's fine, I don't have his number, you can find out tomorrow. Then she goes, I know his number, and started saying my number, that hurt, then she kept asking about how he was doing and if he was okay until she fell asleep. Now, a couple days out of that moment and still processing it, I feel even more like she's totally lost feelings and attraction for me and that she's not just friends with this guy

but is more emotionally invested in him than she's willing to let on or maybe even admit to herself. It's really hurting me and I can't get it out of my head and my mind keeps wandering and assuming things and I really want to have a real honest conversation about this with her, but I'm nervous that. One, it's going to come out as accusatory and interrogative on my part and make her super defensive and dismissive from the get-go. And two, I get all hung up that I already shut the door on this issue and shouldn't rehash it with her because I already brought up that I'm uncomfortable with their dynamic and then

a few days later told her I just want her to be happy and do what makes her happy. I'm constantly hurting, there's a pit in my stomach, I don't. don't have an appetite, I'm not sleeping, I'm losing weight, I can't focus or concentrate, I worry all the time about if she's flirting with him or texting him sexual stuff or hugging him or if they cuddle when they're together all things she doesn't do with me. I get angry because he's a single dude who also actively chooses to spend all his time with a married woman what's in it for him. And then I feel guilty about feeling all this stuff. Anyway, I'd love some advice, I just want this hurt to stop, I want her to be honest with me.

if she's done with us, then tell me, if she would rather be with him, then tell me, if she's emotionally cheating, I want her to know that, own it, and understand how it's hurting me. How can I broach this subject with her? Should I? How can I get some, answers and definition about the dynamic between her and Mark but not in an accustery slash interrogative way? Is she emotionally cheating on me? How should I confront this?

My therapist didn't really have suggestions for me beyond, yes, you should have this conversation and you should firmly know going into what your boundaries for a married relationship, even one that's rocky, are in what is and is not okay for your partner to do. I've confided in several close friends and my sister about the details I shared here and every single one of them thought it was fucked up, even for my wife to be doing in a marriage where everything was okay, that makes me feel a bit more validated. But I still don't know the best way to go about initiating this conversation and having it be an open and honest discussion where my thoughts and feelings can be heard and where she doesn't immediately feel defensive and defective. Please help, I welcome any and all advice, comments, thoughts, and please be blunt, feel free to DM as well. Update after post-re, emotional affair, wife still denying anything, expressing zero remorse or acknowledgement of my feelings. This goes against what many people here have said about me not engaging with her. She could tell something was up with me and kept asking what was going on and what's bothering me. I finally broke

and talk to her. I mentioned my specific concerns and told her that what's been happening is not okay and that it feels like lines and boundaries are being crossed. She seemed unfazed, she seemed offended that I would even think that something inappropriate was going on. She denied that they have been physical together. She said I've only been out till 2 a.m. with him twice, yeah, well that's too too many times for me, I said. She seemed to refuse to even attempt to see it from my point of view or an outside perspective. It's telling to me that so many other people could recognize that maybe even texting a coworker so much and worrying about his well-being after the drinking was crossing a line, my wife seems to refuse to believe that she's crossing lines,

she refused to acknowledge that maybe what she's doing is wrong or actually hurtful. He's like my best friend right now. Yeah, well, why can't I be that? I'm your husband. I know things are rocky and weird with us right now, but I'm trying to work on things and I can't help but feel there's stuff you're not telling me. All I want is for her to accept some, responsibility and remorse. She kept saying, what do you want me to do? She kept pointing out that they really haven't been together too much or stayed out late more than twice. it just feels like we got nowhere, when I spoke with her and told her how hurt and uncomfortable her behavior with Mark is making me, she seemed unfazed, her first reaction, rather than being sorry or concerned that I'm being hurt. Was to say, well, what do you want me to do about it? I shouldn't have to walk her through this. She's a very intelligent person. She should be able to see that maybe there's even just a slight chance that what she's doing would look bad to anyone looking from the outside

in. She's blinded by whatever she's feeling and doing, she kept deflecting. I told her it made me uncomfortable that she was out till 2 a.m. drunk with him, that it was weird. She said, well, that's only happened twice. She noted that they've only been to three soccer game dates together. That doesn't matter to me. The amount of times doesn't matter. What matters is that now she knows how it is hurting me and that I am not going to put up with it anymore. She should proceed accordingly. I told her that I want to be happy and I want to be with someone who makes me happy. I said I want her to be with someone she wants to be with also. And I don't want either of us to have to feel forced or like every day we have to try to conjure up feelings for the other person. She told me she loves me and wants to be with me. It felt hollow. I told her she seems completely emotionally invested in him and that there's no more room for me. I told her I feel like a roommate who sits around while she dates Mark. She kept saying we're just friends and I'm not even with him all that much.

She denied any physical intimacy between them. She said that other co-workers have asked her if anything is going on between her and Mark. I asked her what does is anything going on mean to her. She couldn't spell it out. I told her that I find it incredibly hard to believe that Mark a single guy my age has anything to gain from being just friends with a married woman. I told her that no matter how good of a guy she thinks he is, he has certainly had the thought crossed his mind of him.

What if? She denied that they talk about their feelings for each other. I don't believe it. I told her that if he knows about our marriage issues, then it makes it even more suspicious that he continues to hang around. It's like he's just waiting for the off chance we do break up so he can have her with no strings. I can't shake the feeling that she's lying to me, something more has to be going on and she is trickle-truthing me, I feel gaslit, I feel crazy that I'm feeling so bothered and anxious by all

this, I wish she'd show some effing remorse or own up to it. I told her how I sat on telling her my true feelings about this for so long because I was being too considerate of her feelings and neglecting my own but that I needed to protect myself going forward, I told her we need to tell each other the hard stuff that might hurt the other person and be ready to do so. I mentioned that I want to be open and honest and vulnerable with her and would expect the same from her, even if she thinks it'll hurt me or I can't handle it, I want her to tell me, I am not going to talk to her about this again, there's no point. She seems unwilling to accept that she's in the wrong here and very plainly hurting a person

she claims to love, I know I'm being naive and stupid and will get tons of comments telling me similarly, but I am struggling so hard to get my head and heart around the idea of snooping into her phone. Honestly, I've been curious. But despite the heartbreak she's causing me, it's really hard for me to pull the trigger on that, and even if I did and even if I found something damning, I think I'd have an even more difficult time figuring out how to best confront her with that information. I feel so down on myself that I feel this way, that I feel so stuck. That I've let myself get to this position, I can't stop thinking where I screwed up along the

way, what's wrong with me, what can I change, how can I change, why is this happening? I am so tired of all of this. Update number two, we talked, she confessed that she's in love with someone else, I told her it's over, hardest thing I've ever done. I told her I know about her and Mark, I told her that I don't want to do this anymore and that I want her to be happy and do what makes her happy, but if that includes being with Mark, then I don't want to continue to be together, I told her we should go our separate ways. I told her I don't want to be in a marriage with a woman who isn't in love with me and isn't happy with me. She cried and cried and confessed that she and Mark do have feelings for each other,

but she is adamant that it's progressed to nothing physical, I told her that regardless. I don't feel that we can continue how things are and that we should separate. I threw out the D word several times and she got super upset and emotional, saying that I'd already made up my mind without her and wasn't even discussing it. I told her that she had made up her mind to pursue those feelings with Mark and did nothing to stop it back then, that put her on edge too she told me I was being mean and not understanding, I told her that I can understand her losing feelings for me and falling in love with someone else. But that I don't have to accept an EA and I wasn't going to put up with this anymore, then she started begging, crying, saying that it seems like a rash, drastic decision to divorce and that we should try just an actual separating first, I said, I don't know what that will do for us. you'll just go off with Mark, right, she didn't really answer. She maintained that she doesn't want to jump straight to divorce,

I maintain that I see no other option at this point, even marriage counseling in my view wouldn't work, because of work obligations, I can't just leave, but I booked a flight to go stay with my family this weekend. I cannot describe the immense relief I felt when I told her we should proceed to get divorced, the other good feeling I had was basically realizing that, She's made a choice. She's picking him, by not outright saying she'll cut things off completely with him. She's made a choice. I don't want to be with someone who won't choose me, edit. For everyone concerned about the process of me moving forward with the divorce, one, our finances are already separated and we have very little marital property under the law. The biggest dispute will be over our dog, too. I am in a no-fault divorce state and a 60-day separation requirement before the divorce can be finalized is already met. as we have been living under the same roof without sexual cohabitation for over 60 days,

I don't foresee this being too procedurally or financially difficult, emotionally and mentally, for sure, update number three. Gave her the divorce papers, got a new job, trying to move on and start healing, but it's so hard, I served the divorce papers earlier this week, it went better than expected, we didn't really fight, she didn't try to blame shift or gaslight me this time, in fact. She apologized for not being easy to deal with lately and for not handling the whole Mark thing very well, she said that she always felt like not crossing any lines or boundaries physically prevented it from being cheating.

She didn't realize until I started talking more seriously about it to her that the emotional affair aspect of it all was very real and very devastating to me. It was good to hear that, doesn't change anything for me, but at least there was some ounce of acknowledgement from her. She told me she's sorry she did things that hurt me but that none of it was intentional. I still don't believe that she is being honest with me. She's lied to my face for months and has treated me like less than even a roommate for so long. It hurts to know that the woman I thought I could love and trust more than anything was so capable of hurting me like this.

She asked if we could still be friends after all of this. She told me I am her best friend and she doesn't want to lose me. She hasn't even treated me like a best friend for months. In fact she has straight up told me that Mark is her best friend. I don't want to deal with that. Everything in my life reminds me of her in some way books, music, TV shows and movies, restaurants, even certain roads I have to drive down. I feel sick to my stomach every morning when I wake up and that turns into me feeling numb and sluggish the rest of the days. I go to the gym or go on a run every morning to try and set myself up for a better day.

It helps, but I think it's because I'm so used to doing it out of habit. I'm having a hard time eating and sleeping and focusing on anything else, I fixate on all this, on her, on us, on our past, on what I could have done differently or better, I still find myself feeling like it's all my fault like I wasn't good enough for her and she had to seek satisfaction from someone else. It sucks to feel like that, anyway. I got offered a great new job in my old home state, so around the first week of August I will be starting my new job and preparing my complete move out of this toxic environment I'm in now, I'm going to be. going to be moving to about 30 minutes from my family and will be closer to a couple of my very best friends, I think that will be good for me. I'm putting in my two weeks notice at my current job today, I anticipate the rest of the divorce should go smoothly, I told her I don't care about much of the stuff we have or the furniture, I just want to take the bed I've been sleeping in in a guest room, the desk and bookshelf I have used for working remotely. An address her to assist me in storing clothes, everything else I don't care about, I just want to

disassociate from everything about her and be able to move on and heal. The worst part, though, she is going to get to keep our dog, I always knew our puppy was going to be the biggest sticking point, she was going to fight me tooth and nail for him. She knows how much I care for him and how bonded he and I are and how dedicated I am to him, I made clear to her that I want to keep him but she adamantly refused, she said that she can't believe I'd be willing to leave her high and dry and with nobody and even try to take her dog away from her too. She is jealous that I am closer with my family than she is with hers and that I'm moving to be near my parents and siblings. Also how am I leaving her high and

dry? I'm giving her practically everything. Plus, she has marked now, I decided that I just want this to be over with and I want to start moving on from this. And if the dog is going to be the only thing slowing that down, I felt like I needed to give him up for my own sanity, but it's going to be so hard, it feels like I'm losing two people that I love, and it's devastating, or at least one soul that I love entirely. And another person that I love and thought loved me and cared about me and that ended up not being the case, I feel like I mean nothing to her, like everything I've done in the years we've been together has been worthless, I'm so tired, so strained, so ready for it all to end.

I hope you enjoy this story. discovered my father being unfaithful while my mother was recuperating from a stroke. He departed when I challenged him, and now my parents are in the process of separating while he points the finger at me for ruining his life. I, 17F, have always been close to my mom while growing up. It wasn't that difficult because my mother is literally the kindest person I know. As far back as I can remember, my mother has literally treated me like her best friend. She has always been a girl's girl so I could share anything with her without the fear of getting judged or reprimanded. We would go shopping together, watch movies and get our hair done. However, despite

her friendly and gentle nature, she didn't let me get away with everything. I still had a curfew, and I knew my limits and respected them. My dad, on the other hand, was completely the opposite. I have always felt like he never wanted to be a father in the first place because he never really spent any time with me even though he was a stay-at-home parent. Apart from dropping me off and picking me up from school, he spent most of his time playing video games inside his room. There were many occasions when my mom would come back home from a day's work to find my dad still playing games without bothering to cook dinner or finish any chores around the house. This would ultimately lead to fighting with my dad storming out of the house in a fit of rage. It was only when I started

to grow older did I realize just how toxic this behavior of his was. My mom would beg him all the time to find a job or help her with chores around the house, but he would make excuses the whole day saying he was playing video games for research purposes so he could be better at his job if, when he eventually found one. My dad had a computer science degree and according to my mom he initially had a good job during the start of their relationship, but when she got pregnant with me, he had been laid off due to his company downsizing. This is why he was why he he had encouraged my mom to get an abortion instead of going through with her pregnancy with me, but my mom had refused. They had come to an agreement that while mom would work to support the

three of us, he would take some time off to take care of me and do the chores around the house just like any stay-at-home parent does. This agreement was always just temporary, and he was supposed to go back to work. However, he never did. When I was six years old, I remember even some of my friends teasing me about the fact that my dad was jobless and how their parents would always make fun of my family behind our backs. It's not just the fact that my dad didn't do anything, but it was also the fact that he started to gain weight and refused to take care of himself. He would always ask one of the neighborhood mothers to drop me off at school because he was too lazy to even wake up early. He would sometimes forget to pick me up from school and luckily,

one of my classmates' parents would drop me off. I would come inside the house to find my dad still playing video games or taking a nap without a single care in the world. I was clearly being neglected and I guess my mother could see that so she packed our bags and decided to leave him. I remember that we had moved into my mom's parents' place for a short while. I remember my dad coming to visit us and trying to convince my mother to not go through with the divorce. Even my mom's parents supported her decision and would warn my dad that he needed to step up otherwise. This was it. Luckily, my dad could see the error in his ways and he decided to turn his life over. He started to wake up and go for a run every day in the morning.

He would pick me up and drop me off back at my grandparents' place. On the way, he would have conversations with me which made me start to open up to him. On the weekends, he took me to the park where he would teach me to play badminton. For the first time, I started to have a bit of fun while spending time with my dad. I think my mom must have also seen this positive change in him and after a lot of back-and-forth conversations, she decided to move back in with him. Eventually, my dad started to lose weight due to his healthy lifestyle and he also found a job. This job paid him significantly lower than moms, but it was still a good start for him.

You would think this was the end of our troubles, but it was actually the start. You see my dad started to come home late and would be constantly on his phone. If I ever wanted to have a conversation with him, he would ignore me like I didn't exist. He no longer did anything to spend time with me and he was back to being his old, emotionally unavailable self. My mom started to grow more and more suspicious of my dad's behavior. She would try to have a conversation with him, but he would brush off her concerns saying that she was overreacting. But I guess a woman's intuition is never wrong because my mother eventually found inappropriate texts on his cell phone. with his personal trainer. My mom absolutely lost her shit and they had a huge fight. My dad

was furious at her that she had checked his phone behind his back and kept calling her a backstabber. I think this was the first time that I saw both my parents screaming at each other at the top of their voices which absolutely terrified me. Their fight turned physical and accidentally, one of my dad's punches landed on my mom's face which resulted in a nosebleed. Seeing my mom in pain made me start to cry as I had never seen so much blood and I was scared that my mom might die. As my dad drove us to the hospital, he kept telling me that I was not allowed to tell the truth to anyone and that if the doctors or nurses asked me, I was simply to say that mom hit her face on the door. He warned me that if I told anybody the truth then he would be taken away from us

and it would be all my fault. As a child, I didn't want to be responsible for my dad being taken away, so I kept my mouth shut. When my mom recovered, my dad promised her that he would block all communication with his personal trainer and he was going to change his way. Hence my mom never filed a case against him either and they went back to living their life after she got well as if nothing had ever happened. When I was 11, my mom would take me to visit her college best friend, Marie, and her husband, Larry every summer. We would spend a week or two at their cabin, and I always had a lot of fun with Marie's nephews and nieces, who would also come to visit. Dad normally would always stay behind, but this one year he agreed to come with us. The first few days went without any

incident but one particularly sunny afternoon. I could not take a nap or sit still and read a book so I decided to go out and take a walk in the woods nearby. I wish I would not have done that because I found my dad making out with Marie. They were not even hiding it and if my mom or Marie's husband would have walked into the woods at that time, they could have easily spotted them. I was so scared after what I saw that I ran back as quietly as I could. I felt like puking as I realized exactly what I had witnessed. I was afraid about what to do as I didn't want my dad to get angry at me, but at the same time, I didn't want to betray my mom.

Luckily, I didn't have to suffer in silence for long because Marie's husband, Larry, eventually caught my dad kissing Marie out on the lake. He flew into a rage and gave my dad a few good punches, resulting in a black eye. Later when my mom found out, she was so furious that she immediately attacked both of them until Larry had to literally hold her down. Mom was particularly disappointed with my dad because she had always thought of Marie as her sister and never imagined they could do something like this. Marie and my dad tried their best to put up a show and apologize.

guys. My dad even tried to throw Marie under the bus by blaming everything on her. He told us that Marie had made the first move and that he just got carried away without thinking. They insisted wholeheartedly that it was just a one-time thing, but I was the only one who knew that they were lying. I had seen them kissing before and I could expose them if I wanted to, but I was too afraid to speak up. I didn't even know if it was the right thing for me to do at that age. Those two scumbags managed to convince Mom and Larry that this would never happen again and that maybe they were just drunk. However, my mom didn't waste any more time and announced that we would be leaving. No matter how much Marie apologized, my mom was done with her and that was the last I ever

remember seeing her. To be honest, it's really sad to write about everything that my mom went through with my dad and I have absolutely no idea why she stayed with him after each indiscretion. I wish she would have left him back then as it would have not really hampered our life in any way. When I was 16 years old, my mother suffered a serious stroke while she was driving. Luckily, although she survived the fatal accident, she was never really the same. Over night, our lives changed completely as my mother became Bedridden, needing to recover from a spinal injury she sustained in the accident. She couldn't get up on her own or walk properly, and any small movement caused her extreme pain and discomfort. My grandparents took turns coming over and staying with us for those few months

to help take care of my mom. I am glad they did because my dad had to work the whole day and didn't want to hire a full-time nurse. I tried to help my mom as much as I could at that age. Every day, I would come home from school and sit with her for hours, talking to her while she drifted in and out due to her strong medications. I would help change her diapers and would rub her feet. Just after two months, my dad started to complain about how expensive everything was around the house now that mom wasn't working and how mom's insurance was not covering her bills enough. This really pissed me off as I had watched my mom do so much around the house and the one time when she needed us, he was trying to complain.

My grandparents offered to help my dad with a few thousand dollars from their retirement fund. In fact, my grandmother even gave my dad some of her jewelry so he could palm them and use the money to take care of my however. As the months went by, my dad continued to complain and take money from my grandparents whenever he could. All in the name of taking care of my mom or paying the rent and other bills. I knew the kind of person my dad was hence I started to grow suspicious of him. This is how I noticed that he was chatting a lot with someone on his phone just like he used to do before. It was very easy for me to come up with a plan to check his messages through his MacBook to find out what was happening with him. This is how I discovered that he was in constant touch

with a woman named Angie. Obviously, I didn't go through the messages as that would have been highly inappropriate but from their last few messages, it was clear that my dad was cheating on my mom yet again. This time around the stake was much higher. I could not imagine the heartbreak my mom would feel if she found out about this with the state of mind she already had. I was so angry that I knew I had to take action. I tried to get my dad's phone to delete all their messages and block this woman from his contacts hoping that Angie would never contact him again. Being a naive teenager, I thought this would somehow stop my dad from cheating. But, of course, I got caught when my dad must have seen that Angie was blocked out of nowhere. He knew there was no one else who could

have done that on his phone except me. He confronted me, yelling about how I dared to touch his phone. I tried to hold back, but I could not help and yelled back at him that I was done watching him cheat on my mom all the time. His face turned red with embarrassment. He tried to act all-innocent, telling me that I wasn't old enough to understand what was going on and asking me to mind my own business. This infuriated me further hence not only did I tell him that I knew he was cheating on mom again with Angie, but that I had seen him kissing Marie all those years ago.

I told him that I had known since then what a piece of shit he was. My grandmother walked into the living room, looking concerned, to check on us after hearing our heated argument. She took one look at the tension between us and immediately knew something serious was going on. He started to splutter as he explained how this was none of my business and that I was too young to talk to him this way. He tried to gaslight me, insisting that as a parent he deserved respect for me, but I

wasn't having it anymore. I had held back my tongue for a long time out of fear, but watching my mom, get sick had terrified me and made me protective. I knew I wasn't going to let him hurt her ever again. I pointed out to him how all my classmates had happy families, and none of their dads had ever cheated on their wives. I was so upset at him that I told him I was ashamed to have a dad like him and that I wished he was never my father. I mean I probably didn't even mean it at that time, but I guess this struck a chord with my dad. He asked me if what I was saying was true and I nodded. I told him that I was sick of him behaving this way and that my mom deserved much better than him.

My outburst really shook my dad because the very next moment he declared to me angrily that he was done with us. I watched him pack his bags while I stood there feeling both angry and confused about what was happening. My grandmother kept asking him what he was doing, and my dad told her that this is why he never wanted me as kids to ruin everything. He went on to announce that he had tried his best to be there for my mom since it was a tough time for her, but after seeing me talk this way, he was done with us. He informed us that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life in an unhappy relationship with my mom, so he decided that he would be moving out. He claimed that his girlfriend, Angie loved him very much and he didn't deserve to take any shit from us. My grandmother yelled at him for being pathetic and a deadbeat

father, but it didn't bother my dad much as he had already made up his mind. The last image I remember of my dad was watching him walk out of the house with his bags and never even turn around to bid goodbye to us. Everything happened so fast that I did not even have time to react to the situation. I knew I had spoken my truth, but watching my dad walk out on us was still hard on me. Honestly, I had never imagined that he would actually leave. I burst out crying and blamed myself for making him move out. However, my grandmother assured me that it wasn't my fault. She said my dad was just a loser who had been looking for reasons for a long time to leave us and that this had nothing to do with him. I found this hard to believe because it was me who had shouted at him.

I was so upset that I had not even realized that I would have to break the news to my poor mom. I started to cry even more as I didn't want to break her heart and hamper her recovery in any way. We waited for my granddad to arrive so we could together talk with my mom and gently break the news to her. Surprisingly, my mother took the news a lot better than I expected. She looked shocked and tried to call my dad several times, but he never answered. After a few minutes of processing her emotions, I guess she must have seen the fear in my eyes because she then asked me to come closer so she could hug me. She reassured me that I had nothing to worry about and that she had always known he was a coward. I broke down on her arms and apologized to her for everything,

but she told me that she had no idea how much pain I had held back all these years just to protect their feelings. She promised that we would be fine without him. I was a bit relieved that she wasn't blaming me like I thought she would because I clearly blamed myself and felt extremely guilty for what had happened. Over the next few months, my mother focused on recovering while my grandparents moved in with us to take care of my mom full time. They were an immense help and I could go to school every day knowing that my mom was being well taken care of. I decided to get a part-time job by tutoring a few students which helped me bring in some money. It wasn't a lot, but I wanted to help my grandparents as much as I could while my mom recovered.

Throughout all this, my dad never called us even though I tried to get in touch with him several times and sent a few texts apologizing to him. It felt so surreal and painful that my own dad didn't even care enough to check on us. When my mom finally recovered and was able to walk and move around just like her old self, it felt like a miracle. Our doctors informed us that she was completely okay and I still am so grateful to God that my mom is back to normal. The last months have been draining mentally and physically, to say the least.

After my mom recovered, the first thing she did was find a divorce lawyer to start the process of divorcing my dad. Now, if you're wondering why my dad hadn't filed for divorce, yet despite moving out, it was clear that he didn't want to pay any child support or health insurance. He knew my mom wasn't well, so he was delaying it as long as possible. My mom, however, was finally done with him. When she got the papers, she tried to get in touch with him so she could mail them to him. This is when my dad, after months and months of no contact, reached out to my mom yesterday and asked her if she was serious about divorcing him after reading all her text

messages. My mother informed him that this was indeed very serious and she was getting a divorce from him one way or the other. As you can guess, my dad, being a low life, started begging my mom during their phone call to not divorce him. He told her that his girlfriend had broken up with him just a few weeks after he left us. He claimed that he had been living alone in a motel, trying to save face in front of us since he was too scared to return. He went on to tell my mom that he always imagined that after she recovered, she would contact him and they could have an honest conversation with each other. He went on to say that he never imagined that she would actually go ahead and file for divorce. He begged her to think this through with a cool mind, but my mom

firmly told him that if he did not sign the papers, then she would take him straight to court. He kept arguing and I don't know if he ended up agreeing or not. However, Since then, my dad has sent me several messages and voicemails blaming me for everything. I have listened to two of his voicemails where he is clearly yelling at me that I ruined his life and that I am to be blamed for his divorce. He goes on to say how he wishes I was never even born. I have shown all these things to my mom who is furious and has told me that he is just a manipulator who refuses to accept his own mistakes. However, I can't help but feel a bit guilty since I somewhat agree with him. I wanted to write my story on Reddit today to ask if anyone

here blames me as well, just like my dad does for their divorce. I'd offer not controlling my anger that day which made my dad walk out on us. Has anybody else gone through this? My mom loves me a lot so she might be trying to not blame me in order to protect me from the truth. I don't want to be the reason for her unhappiness so please be honest in the comments. Update 1. I have been crying while reading all your comments. I cannot imagine that there are so many strangers out there who have been hurt just like I have and for the first time, I don't feel alone. It's so strange to read everyone's story about their own dysfunctional family because I always thought everybody else's life was perfect. I guess everyone has their own story. Also, some of you have actually blamed

me for my parents' divorce and even though thinking about it, still makes me feel guilty. after reading so many stories, I agree that it was better for me to speak my mind to my dad rather than keep it all in and pretend that he was a good person. I never forced my dad to cheat and I never asked him to leave us so that decision is completely on him. Also, just to clarify, just in case it wasn't clear earlier, I am glad that my parents are divorcing. I want my mother to be happy and I think this time she has really made up her mind. For those who are asking, if the house belongs to my mom, it doesn't. We live here on rent and after all the expenses for her treatment, she doesn't have any assets left. So, she won't lose anything in the divorce

with my dad. Update 2, it's been a month since I last updated and a lot has happened since then. First of all, my dad showed up at our doorsteps after so many months to apologize to my mom. He looked like he had a rough couple of months and had even grown a thick beard. At first, my grandparents refused to let him in, but my dad kept apologizing, telling them how he just wanted one last conversation with mom. My mom let him in and he started to apologize to her for everything. He broke down as he explained to her how he had time to think these last few months and had realized how my mom was the perfect woman for him and someone he should have learned to cherish

a long time ago. He told her how Angie was not even half of the woman she is and he discovered this only when he moved in with her. He had met her online and had thought that he would have his fairy tale relationship, but it was quite the opposite. They fought a lot and eventually Angie kicked him out in the middle of the night leaving him homeless. He knew he could not return back home, so he started to live out of a motel. He would often spend his evenings drinking alone, which would then make him late for work the next day. He explained how he could not keep up with his job and had been laid off a few weeks ago.

My dad broke down as he begged my mom that he was done with his ways and that he was going to change. I know this all sounds emotional but knowing how shitty my dad is, I could not help but burst out laughing. Even his tears looked fake and forced. My mother was also not having it and she smiled and asked him to stop putting on a show. She shoved the divorce papers in his face and told him that he needed to sign them right then and there so she could file them. My dad began to refuse, but my grandparents made it clear that they would investigate his finances and take legal action against him for taking thousands of dollars from them, as well as their jewelry. They were adamant that he couldn't have spent all that money on us and that he must have spent

some on his girlfriend. My mom assured him that the more he dragged the case, the more lawyer's fees he would have to pay since we had more than enough proof of his abuse towards us. My dad had the audacity to turn to me and ask if I was happy with what I had done. He shook his head in disgust, suggesting I should have kept my mouth shut that day. Hearing this, I started to laugh at this absurdness, while my mom yelled at him for being an entitled jerk trying to manipulate his way out of the mess he created. I pointed out to him that he had cheated on his wife multiple times, yet now he was trying to blame me for his actions.

My laughter seemed to irk him even more, and he glared at me, muttering curses under his breath. My grandfather forcefully handed him a pen and asked him to sign the papers and leave our house. It was refreshing to see my entire family stand up against my dad. In the end, he had no choice but to sign. My mother promised me that this would be the last time I ever saw my dad, as she did not want him to come near me and further traumatize me. Update 3, Hey guys, it's been a few months since I updated anything here. My parents have finally gotten a divorce. Although it wasn't smooth, I'm just glad that my mom and I are free of him.

My dad has been ordered by the court to pay for my college expenses until I graduate, which I think is a good lesson for him since he has hardly ever done anything for me. My mom is much healthier now and has started to regularly exercise to keep a check on her health. To everyone asking why my dad kept blaming me, I have to say that my dad clearly knew how good he had it with my mom and was afraid of losing a dependable partner like her. Instead of being an adult about it, he decided to blame me for absolutely no reason. I see that more clearly now, and I'm even more glad that I spoke my mind to him all those months ago. My grandparents have finally moved back into their place after months of living

with us to take care of mom. We visit them every weekend as I have grown every attack. to them. Mom has started looking for a new job while I'm still tutoring. We may not have a lot right now, but we both agree that we feel much freer than before. I listened to some of your advice and have made up my mind to go for therapy when I go away to college. I have also started journaling which is surprisingly helpful. Thank you to everyone who has stuck by me these last couple of months and offered their support and encouragement. Your kindness and understanding have helped me go through this difficult period, and I am truly grateful. I won't be deleting my post as I had thought to do earlier because if there's anyone else out there going through what my mom and

I experienced, I want them to find this post. I hope it brings them comfort to know that things eventually get better with time. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse dedicated many years to pursue a medical career, but unexpectedly decided to become a homemaker instead. I became anxious and attempted to persuade her otherwise. It was only later that I recognized the extent of my mistake. Failed her. Hello, I, 32F, have been with my wife, 31F, since our second year of high school. From what I remember, she has always wanted to become a doctor.

A pediatric doctor, to be exact. While I kept changing my mind and was continuously unsure about what I wanted, my wife was extremely dedicated on wanting to be a pediatric doctor. I've seen her study her but often college and cry from frustration as she studied. Seeing her work so hard gave me the motivation to finish school and become a lawyer. We've been each other's biggest supporters throughout this journey. From working odd jobs to support ourselves, having cheap dates at the park and crying from stress and frustration, it was like finally seeing the end of the tunnel with my partner next to me

the entire time. We got married right after I graduated from law school and started living in a bigger place with the money we had saved together. She finished her internship this year and is about to legally become a licensed doctor. However, her happy tune about becoming a doctor suddenly changed. I'm not really sure when her obsession with becoming a housewife started, but seeing her go from being a career-oriented woman with hopes and dreams to wanting to become a housewife gave me severe whiplash. I just couldn't understand what could make her change her mind so suddenly. I tried asking about it and she said something along the lines of I just want to cook and clean for you. Live a simple life. I assumed that maybe she was feeling lonely since I've been working a lot

so I told her that we'd go on more dates and spend more time together, but again she insisted that she wanted to be a housewife. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a housewife, but to give up your long years of studying and hard work to stay home and cook is absurd. We're already splitting the chores at home and we've just been on very equal footing since forever. I just can't seem to read her. Maybe being a doctor just isn't for her? Or perhaps she got bored. I just don't get it. I want her to do what makes her happy because I truly love her and she's my entire world but is stopping everything and throwing away the chance of having one of the most respectable jobs on earth just to stay home and do chores really worth it? Maybe I'm asking the

wrong questions. Maybe she's trying to tell me something and I'm being dense. I wish I could read her mind. I just don't get it. At the end of the day I just want to know why and maybe convince her otherwise. As much as I think that's it's a bad idea, it's still her life, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself if I let her throw her career away. Edit to add After reading the comments I've had some time to reflect on how I handled the situation, and I realize now that my initial reaction wasn't the best. When my wife first brought up her desire to make a change, I immediately jumped in with all the reasons I thought it wasn't a good idea.

I assumed I knew why she was feeling that way and tried to talk her out of it without really understanding her reasoning. In hindsight, I was too focused on what I thought would be best for her instead of listening to what she actually needed. I can see now that I've been making assumptions rather than having an open and honest conversation with her about what's really going on. It's easy to fall into that trap when you're worried about someone you love, but it's clear I need to do better in understanding her perspective. I've been so caught up in protecting her from what I saw as a mistake that I didn't stop to consider that she might have her own valid reasons.

I'm grateful for those who pointed this out, and I'm committed to working on this with her. Instead of making assumptions, I'll take the time to sit down and truly listen to what she has to say moving forward. Update, July 15th, 2024. Hello everyone, I realize that it's been quite some time since I've made this post and I apologize for updating you all so late. If I'm being honest, this post slipped my mind completely. My wife and I were going through our own healing journey and I simply wanted to focus on her. However, things are much better now and both my wife and I are content with our lives. Here's a proper and pretty lengthy update for the ones who were curious about how my wife and I were

holding up now. For one, she's working to finish her residency. I'm so incredibly proud of her for pushing through, even with all the odds against her. She's incredibly hardworking and I'll always be there for her. Through the past few months, I had to revisit a lot of areas within our relationship. For one, the status of our relationship was worse than I imagined. There were major life events in her life that I would have never known about if I hadn't broken the growing wall between us. My wife has always been a hard worker and because simple encouragement always seemed to be enough to boost her morale, I assumed that this was still the case. I was terribly wrong. My wife needed a friend, a shoulder to lean on, a confiant and a lover.

But during her very difficult year, I was none of those things. As her wife, I failed to give her the proper love and support she desperately needed and deserved. Not only was she burnt out, but because I unintentionally put work before her, I wounded her deeply. Our intimacy was practically non-existent, our conversations never went beyond surface-level subjects, and sometimes, the only time we'd see one another, was when one of us was already long asleep. Whenever I would ask her if she was okay, she always told me she was fine, which I doubted. But since I didn't want to push her, I stopped asking. That's where I made my mistake.

Asking wasn't enough. I was foolish. We barely saw each other, did anything together, shared words of endearment or basked in each other's presence. Intimacy just seemed so foreign between us. Like a fool, I thought, hey, I asked if she was a woman. okay and she said she was fine. My job here is done. I never once tried to give her the reassurance that I was someone she could depend on, that I was ready to sit and listen, that she could complain to me about the same thing over and over again and that I'd still listen with just as

much attention. During a time of great stress, I was everything but helpful. The distance between us was growing pretty rapidly, and it's only after her insistence on becoming a housewife that this veil was lifted. Thanks to my initial post, I received a lot of helpful criticism both online and in real life. It took a lot of personal reflection. Initially, I thought applying what I was told would be a piece of cake, but seeing myself struggle to approach her made me realize how much we had truly grown apart. Little things like her hair, the bags under her eyes, or even her choice of clothes all changed. My wife has always been someone who enjoyed dressing up. Pastel. Cell colors are her favorite, weird earrings she finds from God knows wear, shoes, makeup,

sweets. Little things that made her, her, suddenly stopped appearing. Again, I tried to argue that because she works in a hospital, her style of choice was most likely limited, but even when she was home, it was different. Guilt was eating me alive. My hands would tingle in pain just thinking about the burden she must be carrying all on her own. I decided to stop acting oblivious.

Even if I had to do something I deemed as awkward or unnatural, I was going to push through because she deserves better. I began to initiate simple intimacy. If it meant simple hand-holding, or working in the same room as her, I did it. I no longer asked if she was okay, but instead let her know that I would always be there for her whenever she needed me. She's my priority. Although it took some time, I was able to coax her into confiding

me again. We did revisit the housewife thing after a few months. She admitted that this feeling came from a deep sense of loneliness, stress, feeling burned out and the witness of a child's death. It was her first time witnessing a gradual, inevitable death and had grown quite attached to both the child and the mother who happened to be our age. This made the entire tragedy even more painful. However, my wife is still a doctor and things move quickly. She tried for getting about it and moving on. But the realization of the weight she carries as a health professional kind of became burdening. She began questioning her years of study, her skill, her abilities. Things that she took great pride and turned into insecurities. Eventually,

she came across some aesthetically pleasing life as a housewife content. The idea of never having to go through such stress and heartbreak seems so freeing to her. No longer having to see children in poor conditions, focusing on herself, her home, her own personal life and our relationship. To be completely honest, I didn't know how to comfort her. For one, I'm not a health professional. Whenever I curiously looked at her notes, my head would start spinning seeing words that seems so foreign. Our careers differ so much from one another, but I didn't know what would be appropriate to say. What can you possibly say to someone going through this type of heartbreak? With my limited knowledge, I told her that she shouldn't carry that burden and blame herself.

People are quick to run to doctors whenever they get the slightest symptoms because they know that a doctor knows best. You naturally bring comfort, a sense of relief and safety. To me, she is no different than a superhero. The joy she brought to that child stuck with her right until her final moments and that's something she should be proud of. The child was able to live a little longer and experience so much more dangerous. joy because of her kindness and expertise. We revisited this conversation a lot and every time I listened. Eventually, she gained a lot more confidence. She relied on her supervisor as well who's been in the field way before either of us were even born. Seeing her get better day by day made me so

incredibly happy. We're at such a great place in our relationship right now. I love hearing her voice, seeing her, being near her and being there for her. I missed her so much. I don't know how we went so long without speaking properly. She's my best friend. My family. I want to say that I wish I had known what to do sooner, but this entire incident was necessary. I believe it is. It brought us so much closer. We're family and speaking about heavy subjects shouldn't be odd between us. I learned a lot about my wife, myself and our relationship. I'm very happy with how things are going. Although we're still busy, we always find some time for ourselves. We also recently adopted two cats. I know a lot of people suggested that perhaps my wife was getting baby fever, but I assure you,

our kittens definitely taught us that kids probably aren't meant for us. Not anytime soon anyway. Thank you again for being so kind and honest with me. excited to learn more and deepen our emotional connection and I can only see a brighter future ahead. Edit to add, I've been reflecting on some of the advice given, and I completely agree that my wife needs a solid support system in place, whether that's through counseling or another form of mental health support. The environment she grew up and didn't exactly encourage talking about mental health. In fact, it was treated like something that would just pass on its own, like a common cold. Because of that, seeking professional

was never something she seriously considered before. Now that we've distanced ourselves from that environment, we're starting to see things more clearly. Mental health isn't something to be ashamed of, and we're both committed to making sure she gets the support she needs. We're definitely going to look into options like counseling and see what resources are available, even through her workplace, if possible. It's something we're actively working on, and I'm hopeful that it will make a big difference for her well-being. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Wanted to keep my last name, so my fiancé offered to take mine instead. His parents exploded, called us unbiblical, threatened to cut him off, and tried to stop our wedding. My fiancé, M21, Alex, and I, F-22,

have been together six years, getting married this year. I never cared much about my last name, but after some recent family events realized I want to keep mine. Alex doesn't mind, and chose to change his last name so we'd match. Upon finding out, Alex's parents, Lisa and Luke, yelled at him. Lisa cussed him out, so my parents let him stay with us for the last week of winter break. We were home on break from college and live a few miles apart. Lisa and Luke say Alex is destroying and disowning his family, publicly humiliating them, and say I'm stripping him of his manhood.

They told us we're unbiblical, and that women should submit. To them it's political too, they said the queer community is the reason we're susceptible to this, transgender people are to blame, and America is in its downfall. This is just another sign. Alex has gotten plenty of texts from Lisa, calling him hateful, cruel, and cold, asking how he can let her suffer. The meetings Alex had with his parents went poorly, they told him they wanted to see him and not talk about the name, but then did. One meeting involved both sets of parents,

Lisa and Luke talked 90% of the time before getting up and leaving. Their Matt Alex stayed with us and said even if we go with his name, they'd resent us and my family for supporting us. Lisa threatened to cut Alex off and says he won't get another penny, they had planned to contribute to our wedding, stating there were no strings attached, and they fund his college apartment. Lisa said this is the worst thing to happen to her since losing her first baby, and that it's worse than if Alex had gotten me pregnant, killed someone drunk driving, or was gay. She's telling Alex that his grandparents will have to move to assisted living from heartbreak, and Luke keeps telling Alex his choice is hurting people.

Their main reason seems to be that it is tradition and that they want the last name carried on. It's not an uncommon last name. I also learned that Lisa Borderline tried to talk Alex out of proposing. Alex asked me to marry him anyway, and Lisa called my mom in the midst of the engagement excitement to share her disapproval. They said that they get a say until Alex is married, and that's when they'll leave us be. Lisa and Luke keep texting Alex and my parents, but I have never gotten anything. They openly dislike me now, bad-mouthing me whether I'm there or not. I've decided my relationship with Lisa and Luke is over, it was rocky before

as they tried to push their religion onto me numerous times. Alex is deciding how much more he can give. He hasn't taken a harsh tone or spoken rudely to his parents, but is tired. Now his parents say if Alex won't move back home, their financial support ends. They say the family won't come to the wedding, and one of his siblings actually has left the wedding party. Obviously, I have decided to stay mostly away from Lisa and Luke now, but they are Alex's family. With the wedding still coming up, we're unsure how to move forward. Edit to add,

Lisa and Luke's financial support is not necessary, and the wedding will proceed with or without it. Just thought it relevant that the money that was offered no strings attached, clearly does have strings. We know we are young and are still getting married, after spending six years together. Esponing the wedding isn't something we're willing to do. Update, July 7, 2024. Alex and I got married last month, and everything was absolutely beautiful. Since my original post, after more months of emotional and verbal abuse, Alex made the difficult decision that his parents were no longer welcome at our wedding. He explained that he couldn't trust them to respect his boundaries, respect us at all,

or respect what the event was about. As expected, they freaked out, asking if he was trapped and needed help, saying everything had become about me, op, and telling him he'd been isolated from everyone he loves. We're not sure what story they told Alex's extended family. Alex reached out to everyone to explain what had been going on, but every response he received was more discussed toward his name choice, refusal of wedding invitations, and saying he needed to apologize slash grovel and fix the family. Most of Lisa's family were the ones talking the most about how dishonorable he was being

and how he was breaking apart the family. Interesting seeing none of them share Lisa and Luke's last name, Luke's family does. Luckily, only one invitation was returned with nasty notes inside. But the rest of the digital responses took Lisa and Luke's side, berated Alex for doing this near the anniversary of the death of Lisa's first child, and called him cruel and hateful. For context, Lisa's first child passed away a few days after birth, over 25 years ago. Alex says there has never been any remembrance that he knows of, and they do nothing on the

anniversary, he doesn't even know the date of the anniversary. Lisa and Luke explained what happened once when he was young, and never mentioned anything again. We're unsure why it's all coming back up now, after presenting is generally unimportant his whole life. Apparently, this drama being four months from the anniversary was disrespectful, his sister Alice also went off the rails. After checking in to see how Alex was doing, Alice got angry that he wanted to discuss things

over text instead of on the phone. It became obvious that she wanted him on the phone to berate him, because she ranted about how he was steamrolling their parents, and wasn't really an adult because he wasn't married yet. She said she had encouraged Lisa and Luke to cut him off long ago, and that I, op, wasn't acting like family since I stopped letting her follow my Instagram account. This was after she dropped out as a bridesmaid and made it clear she didn't support our marriage. I decided not everyone gets full access to my life. As his only sibling, it was devastating for Alex to watch Alice spiral into fully taking their parents' side, after initially leading him to believe she had his back and being supportive. After saying not to

expect her and Alex's bill at the wedding, there's been no further contact since Alice refuses to speak to him unless he'll talk on the phone. At this point, he won't do any phone calls as we'd rather have record of everything that goes down. Many people tried to talk to Lisa and Luke, my own parents, mutual friends, etc. To encourage them to choose relationship, and explain the damage they were causing wasn't worth the loss they'd endure. It seemed to have no effect. Alex was quick to become no longer financially dependent on his parents. We've changed his phone plan. reclaimed all his bills from Lisa and Luke, fully moved him out, and finished college. We're not sure if they attended graduation, they texted Alex the day before to say they'd be there,

but then turned off their location services. Graduation day was stressful and nerve-wracking, with Alex not knowing if they'd make a scene or corner him. He left as soon as he walked across the stage, and made it to his car with no interactions. Since then, as most people suggested, we've been nearly no contact with Lisa and Luke. We spent the first six weeks of summer finishing wedding details, and our day last month was gorgeous. Alex received no communication between graduation and the wedding, and has no plans to continue their relationship without an apology.

Lisa and Luke did not show up to the wedding or say anything day of. The only recent change is Lisa unfollowing and unfriending both of us and my family on all social media. For me, my in-law relationships are basically over, apology or not. Learning they'd never supported our engagement, ignoring my existence, and hating me because of my political and religious beliefs is enough for me not to keep contact. Thank you, for your kind help and good wishes. Our day was truly perfect and straight out of a fairy tale,

and we're looking forward to the next chapter of our lives, with hopefully less drama. I hope you enjoy this story. At last, I decided to sever ties with my harmful mother to safeguard my spouse and five children. However, she warned of legal repercussions as she sought grandparent visitation rights. Therefore, I chose to reveal her malicious behavior. To the whole family. I am a 41-year-old, happily married father of five children. My wife and I have been married for 20 years and both of us came from fractured, chaotic families.

My wife's parents divorced and were both alcoholics. Her father died of liver failure and her mother has cooled off a bit and has retired. My parents went through a vicious, violent divorce when I was a child. My father moved ten states away to get away from the craziness and my mother has never changed. Because of our experiences with violent and unstable families, my wife and I have worked extremely hard to be picture-perfect parents and spouses. We've done everything you can think to have a perfect life for our kids. My wife is a sports coach and I'm a scoutmaster with the BSA. Our kids are healthy, engaged, and have everything they need physically and emotionally.

This has been in spite of our families, not because of them. My mother is a terrible woman. She systematically abused me throughout my whole childhood and continued to be a violent, bitter, mean and aggressive person to me throughout my whole life. I could sit here for hours and write about the things that she's done. She used the courts to destroy the life of my father for decades. Once he was out of the house, she turned her anger at me with physical and emotional violence. When I was 16, she expelled me from the house and left me homeless.

I had to go from house to house, figuring out where to live, and try to graduate high school. I ended up living with an older boy that was about four years older than me, and I had to engage in a sexual relationship with him in order to secure that housing. I was not gay, I did not want to be gay, and I had to endure something that destroyed me in order to not be sleeping on the street. When I turned 18, I was able to start working at a better job, and was able to get out of that bad situation and start my life from scratch. My wife and I have scratched and clawed our way into a stable, middle-class lifestyle. We both went to college at night for years and years, and we have good jobs in a house in the suburbs. Out of a sense of duty to our family, I sought to include my extended family in our lives, and permitted a relationship with strict boundaries between my mother and my children.

For the most part, she has been fairly stable for about 20 years. I say stable in that we could have routine contact about once per month for that time period, with a minimum of disruptive behavior. She has never acknowledged her abuse to me as she is an extremely selfish person. Everything about our past has been left unsaid. My mother, over the last two years, has become completely unraveled. Her second husband decided to leave her for his own health and sanity, and she is instantly reverted back to the most cruel and the most bizarre behavior.

imaginable. All aspects of her life have been affected. She is calling the cops, suing him in family court, alienating large parts of her family from one another, all while trying to tell my children about why their grandfather is a bastard for how she feels about him. Once I saw this happening, I said that's it, not again and took some action. At the beginning of this year, I wrote a very courteous note to my mother asking her to re-evaluate the way she's been behaving to me and my family. When I tell you it was neutral and courteous, I really mean it, I checked it like five times. She responded by calling me terrible names, ungrateful piece of shit, for example, and screaming bloody murder on the phone at me. I blocked her from my phone, then she did the same thing

to my wife. So I informed my mother by email that I'd like to maintain distance until she works on herself in therapy or with her divorce mediator. Things lay still for about six. months. This morning, I wake up to a series of bizarre emails from my mother asserting that she wants to see my children for their birthday which is coming soon, and that she is giving me 24 hours to provide acceptable dates for permitting visitation or to be prepared for a legal summons to family court. I'm like WTF. This woman is the equivalent of a schoolyard bully, following me around in life, tormenting me non-stop until you just want to cry. The worst part of a bully is that when you ask them to lay off you for even five minutes, that they just take this

as a cue to keep it up even more. I took one look at this and I was like, holy shit, this woman is clearly out of her fucking mind. Now I know in the post title I said she's suing me, I work in the legal field and I know that until I've been summoned to appear, that I have not been sued. So, no, she's only threatening to sue me right now. Sorry for using the hyperbole. But I'm finding myself in the same bizarre, out-of-touch reality that everyone in this person's life finds themselves. This Bats hit insane woman forced me to see my own father at a McDonald's when we were kids for two hours every two weeks, as per the court order, while she waited outside in a running car. I was only allowed to see him in this fashion because she hated him and didn't

care what this would do to her own kids. There were more than a few times when the clock would strike 8 and she would come screaming into the McDonald's threatening to call the cops and have my dad arrested for kidnapping while grabbing us by the arms and pulling us out of the store. This is what she's capable of doing with family court. I had a literal, hyperventilating panic attack on the floor of my office this morning. I have sought to be respectful, mature, and use good decision making this whole time. My wife and I have an extremely secure marriage and she is in agreement with me 100% through all of this. I'm finding myself wishing that my mother would just die already, and just pleased to leave me alone.

She's like this inescapable bully that will never, never under any circumstance leave a person alone until she's proven that she can hurt them. I don't even care what she's experienced in her life. I just need to be away from her. So that's my true off my chest story. I've been living with this shame and fear and lingering self-hatred for 30-plus years, all while trying to be seen. super dad and a great career man. I call the local family law practice today to get a referral. I'm going to ask them to send a demand letter to her, to try and get her to back the hell off, but look at what this has come to. I have to shell money out of my own pocket to protect myself and my kids from my insane mother. I feel like Rodney Dangerfield sometimes.

Ironically, the money I'm going to have to send to the lawyer for their retainer is money that I had earmarked for the kids to go to summer camp. So figure that one out. Thank you for letting me tell you my story. Just typing it out helps. Comments, boop on if there are legal precedent that gives her threats in his area. Oop, New York does provide an avenue for grandparents to sue for custody, although it would turn into a protracted legal fight that will cost me a lot of money and aggravation if she does. In general, the process is the punishment. I had to do deal with family court and CPS, cops, etc. when I was 10 and my parents were getting divorced. If you wanted to see me literally pass out on the floor, you dragged me back to family court.

Oop on his mother having the financial means to sue for grandparents' rights. Oop, I've seen this woman use the courts to destroy my father for over 10 years. The answer is, who knows? I guess I'll just have to wait for a court summons to see what she will do. Chocolate candy bar underscore. Op, I'm extremely sad to read it. I suppose you know that. Would she sue you, this would more likely bring to her 40 years horrors being exposed in court and her being denied to stay on the same planet of your kids.

So, I suppose that you're here to just get it off and yes you don't deserve IT and definitively yes, you are paying for having been a good person. May life repay you and your mom. All my vibes are for you. United Manor 20, you should have plenty of proof to get a restraining order and do not worry about her getting grandparents' rights. She would have to have a well-established relationship with the children already, which does not sound like that's the case. They don't just give grandparents' visitation rights because they're grandparents. I would definitely change your number and go file restraining order. It sounds like she is unhinged and you are concerned for your family safety.

At the very least if they deny that, make sure you issue a letter of no trespassing so she cannot come to your home. If she violates that, then you should have enough grounds to get the restraining order. You could even use her own words against her. Tell her that she's welcome to take you to court, but till then do not contact you for any circumstances. If she wants meditation, she can take you to court. That will not end well for her. Johnny Skid marks not only changed the phone number, but completely ghost her. Do not reply to anything she does to contact up.

The courts aren't going to side with her over this. She sounds completely crazy. Update, I posted this all on Thursday when I was experiencing a serious amount of turmoil. Since then, I've calmed down a lot and also had the good judgment to talk this over with the important people in my life. First things first, I'd like to thank everyone for the words of encouragement and support that were given. There were some surprising insights from many of the posters, and I found myself agreeing with and appreciating many of the stories of support that were posted by others. I now understand that I am not the only person with a domineering, selfish, easily enraged parent.

To all the people who blamed me for being a victim of my mother, and somehow being at fault for all this. Well, I want to use some strong language to you, but I'll just ask you to please think about how fortunate your life has been that you haven't experienced what I have experienced. So on to the update, as it turns out, only two states in the Union have codified grandparents California and New York, and I do live in New York. Basically, in New York, a grandparent does not have the automatic right to have access to grandchildren, but a grandparent does have automatic standing to file a petition to be heard in family court. The petition can be squashed, but they can file the petition. I do want to get back to this later. I did conference with a family law attorney on Friday, and he helped me to understand the situation and craft a strategy. He was generous enough to not require a retainer unless and until I'm served with legal papers.

He basically explained that the grandparent does have standing to file a petition based on a pre-existing relationship with the grandchildren, but that she would most likely not be able to overcome the desires of two married parents who are both exercising their judgment for the health and safety of their children. He explained that in New York, our simple desire to terminate a relationship would most likely be overcome in court, however if we introduce some of the specific actions that she's exhibited over the last few years, familial alienation, adult humor near children, uncontrollable anger, dangerous operation of a motor vehicle. that we would very likely prevail in a court setting. He explained that the good thing is that we had already restricted contact between our children and my mother to about once per month, and that in his experience he had never seen a court order for grandparent visitation

for more often than once a month, for one hour per session. I try to be reasonable so I said, okay, the worst case scenario is supervised status quo. I did broach the topic of a restraining order, and I was quickly schooled on how that works. I've been harassed and alarmed by words, I can't be granted a restraining order period. However, if my mother causes some disorderly acts such as coming to my house and causing a ruckus, that could trigger an order if and only if I document it by having a police come and detailing a report. So, keep that in mind next time you recommend a restraining order. They're not easy to get. The attorney recommended that I send a private cease and desist to my mother via certified

mail and email. I decided to write a two-page, brutal takedown of this woman in order to a, blow off some steam and B, document and writing my concerns and try to get ahead of her legal maneuvering. I decided to take a two-pronged approach. First, I send this cease and desist to her on Friday at lunchtime via email and also certified mail. Then, I took a page out of her playbook and publicly scorched the earth to apply social pressure to her. I emailed and texted every single member of my extended family, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, my stepfather, my father, and spoke to several of them to tell them exactly what was happening. Whether they wanted to hear it or not, I sent them intimate details of my mother's abuse

and my decision to cut her off for the welfare of myself and my family. My reasoning there is simple, my mother's abuse thrives in closed doors and embarrassed silence. For 30 years I've had to hear, oh, you know, that's just the way your mother is, while and let her act in the most insane and violent ways you can imagine. My mother got angry at my stepfather last year, and tried to run him over with her car, then crashed her car into the front door of his business screaming at him and ranting and raving in public. Do you know what people did? They surely called the police or an ambulance and had her monitored for her safety, right? No. My sister quickly threw her into her car and drove her away

so that she wouldn't be arrested. My stepfather was so embarrassed that he took the crashed car, drove it to a parking spot, and then paid out of pocket for the damage to the front of his business. This is what happens in families that are dealing with a crazy person. They cover it up, hoping that it will someday get better. Well, I'm not comfortable with this anymore. I sought to publicly embarrass and pressure her for a change.

Anyway, by Friday afternoon, my mother got the men. and sent me emails telling me that I can stop attacking her and maligning her to my family. She indicated that she would abandon any legal efforts to seek visitation with my children. This was a relief, but to be fair I was almost looking forward to having a public forum to describe her antics at court. Nevertheless, it seems like she's backing off for the moment. The fallout and damage to my extended family is most likely severe and permanent. However, my wife and I discussed this fully and have decided that this is the direction we're going in. We'll just have to have holidays by ourselves if the family can't be loyal and supportive to me.

On to the last point, and I really want to drive this home. In 1991, my mother conducted an incredibly vicious divorce against my father. I mean, she literally sought to destroy him, and she did. He was completely beaten by her. One of the things that my father told me about just this weekend was that at the time my grandparents on his side sought to have guaranteed visitation with us after the divorce. My mother actually went to court on that specific topic and specifically litigated that she was the custodial mother and had sole decision making about who the children would be around. The court ruled at the time that in fact there was no right for a grandparent to see children, and my mother successfully was able to keep me away from my, very loving and happy, grandparent. for years. I was only able to see them during court-mandated visitation with my own father.

The law in New York changed in 2000 so that grandparents' rights came into effect, too late to help me unfortunately. I want to really drive this home. The fucking balls on this woman to go to court on her own behalf and stayed in a court of law that she, as the custodial mother of children, has the sole and ultimate decision on who her children have relationships with, and then to 35 years later attempt to use the changes in law to assert that she has grandparents' rights to visitation. Despite the wishes of the both parents, was too much for me to bear. That alone made me say, no way, not happening under my watch. So that's the update.

Long-winded, yes, but it makes me feel good to type this out. I'm finally able to unburden the unbearable shame and embarrassment of what has to be. happen to me to members of my family, and I won't allow myself to be ignored anymore. I'm 41 and my selfish, insane baby boomer asshole mother is in her mid-70s and has no power over me anymore. I'm sick and tired of bottling this up. Anyone who doesn't like it, they can go suck an egg. I deserve to have loyal and faithful people in my life. Comments, a scully, isn't her case now public record. If she believes that only because custodial parents should dictate a child's relationship with extended family.

Isn't that something a lawyer can look up and use? Oop, I have started the FOIL request at the family court where the divorce was adjudicated. However, this will likely take months and months to get the records. I may read them just to more fully understand my family's history. Practical Chess 2313 Man, I am so unbelievably glad that you stood up for yourself and that you and your wife are united in standing up to your extended family. That's not easy to do. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, but abusers are so, so good at making you believe that you're the one exception.

Moroccan underscore Wanton, exactly and good job op. For my own personal experience, it can be difficult to cut a toxic abusive person out of your life. So many people follow the same path as their parents. It makes me happy to hear that you are raising your children the complete opposite of how she raised you. In limiting contact and going NC you are not only protecting yourself but also your children. No one should have to endure that and so sorry that you did but be proud of the fact that you and your wife are ending that cycle. Berlin Black T. In New York the burden of proof for a TRO is high. Why so many jump to that thinking they give things out like that freely you wouldn't want a system that allows that.

Being made uncomfortable is not grounds for TRO. And in a dysfunctional family, where abuse is chronic and lifelong, but rarely enough to cause arrest people who exhibit controlling and abusive behavior know what they can and cannot get away with legally in most cases, and have enablers that hide behind their silence and shame it is frustrating. Unless minors are witnesses to the behavior. CPS acts on this quickly. TROs are used.

usually granted then. Parents can be faulted for failure to protect if they do not shield the children from a relative's behavior. The culture has changed in this regard from the 80s and 90s. What matters now is the future. Protect your children and go to therapy for yourself. Intergenerational trauma stops with you, and you are taking steps to do that. But you also have to heal yourself the child you were that was not heard, loved, valued, or protected by your primary caregiver. Mom. It will take hard work in some time, but if you take the therapy seriously, it will heal you and help become the healthiest version of yourself, and as a parent, that you can be. And you will be mentally free. G.L.TU. Nitty-ditty, this Batshit insane woman forced me to see

my own father at a McDonald's when we were kids for two hours every two weeks, as per the court order, while she waited outside in a running car. I'm trying to understand how the courts only granted the father two hours per fortnight visitation. On what grounds? Big error, mom probably made up a lot of BS that made the dad sound abusive, uncaring, etc. Text Eva. I dated a guy who had an ex like that, even worse, it wasn't regular visits. She'd just phone with one hour's notice and if he wasn't there she'd tell the kids he didn't love them enough.

took him years and thousands to sort the court custody. Sadly, it took a toil on the relationship, hard to be second best to X's crazy and we had to keep relationship secret or she'd cut him off. He had two, and did put his kids first, but the frequent canceled dates were too much, her fault really. As a friend of his though, I was pleased when it was all finalized and to see he's settled with a nice GF now. Mountain Guava 2877 Cases like that are why coparenting apps are a godsend No more lies about who agreed to do what or when It's all documented and time stamped

I hope you enjoy this story My partner from the United States mentioned that he would not consider marriage until I obtained my residency independently as he was concerned that I might be exploiting him for immigration purposes despite the fact that I make significantly more than him. This account was a throwaway, and I had forgotten the login. But today, I found a Chrome profile on my old laptop that was logged into this account. My previous posts have been removed, and I have a lot of messages asking for updates.

I am creating this post to consolidate the original post plus two updates, as well as provide a final update. I, 29F, moved to the U.S. 7 years ago as a grad school student. from Indonesia. I met my boyfriend, 30M, a few months after I moved and we'd been together ever since. My boyfriend is a U.S. citizen. After I graduated, we had a serious discussion about where our relationship was headed. I made it very clear that I wanted to eventually get married and have children. My BF echoed the sentiments. I remember asking him if he saw that happening with me because I didn't want to be in a relationship with no future. He told me he loved me and that we were definitely headed in that direction. As of last week, we've been dating for

seven years. We've occasionally talked about marriage, but we were both busy with our respective careers, so the timing didn't seem quite right. However, recently my company announced that there's a chance that my department's work will be outsourced. I'm on an H-1B visa, temporary worker, so this means that I need to start looking for a job ASAP if I want to continue staying in the US. The stakes are high with my visa situation. If I lose my job, I technically have only 60 days to find another position, or I'll have to leave the country. I've built my entire adult life here in the States. My apartment, my friends, my routines, my favorite coffee shop where the barista knows my order

without asking, all of it would be gone. Not to mention the hassle of packing up seven years worth of stuff. Last week, during our anniversary dinner at this fancy Italian place we'd been wanting to try, I brought this up. I asked him if he thought it was the right time to think about getting married, as that would also help with sorting out my visa issues. The moment I mentioned marriage and visa in the same sentence, his face changed. He looked like he was about to vomit, literally put down his fork mid-bite and turned pale. I waited for him to say something, but he just sat there silently, so I kept prodding him to tell me what was wrong. After the waiter refilled our water glasses for the third time and the awkward silence became unbearable,

he finally confessed that he wasn't planning on US getting married before I was able to get a green card, permanent resident, in the U.S. I was incredibly confused because he'd never mentioned this before. Not once in seven years. His reason? He didn't want to be used as a visa mule, his exact words, by me. He said he wanted to make sure that I married him because I loved him and not because it was a ticket to getting to stay in the U.S., which can only happen when I get a green card on my own.

I sat there in shock. Seven years together, and he thought I might be using him for papers? It took me a while to process what he said, and I asked him if he'd be okay to move to Indonesia with me if things didn't work out with my visa. No way, he said immediately, not even taking a second to consider it. My life is here. So was mine. For seven years. I didn't finish my meal. I grabbed my purse, threw some cash on the table, and walked out. He called my name across the restaurant, but I kept walking. I spent the night at my co-worker's place because I couldn't face him. I am still in disbelief. I started dating him because he was the kindest, most thoughtful, and generous man I'd met. I now feel like I wasted seven years.

While the visa issues are certainly a problem, I did not date him with the intention of making him my safety net. I cannot believe that even after nearly a decade together, he doesn't know what kind of person I am. I feel like this relationship is possibly over and it hurts. It hurts so much. Update 1 A few days back I made a post about how my BF of seven years didn't want to marry me because I was an immigrant on an H-1-1. and he didn't want to be a visa mule. I got a lot of wonderful comments and DMs, a few trolls too, but that's expected from Reddit HAA. Because the thread got locked and the post was subsequently removed,

because I have a low karma account, I was unable to respond to anyone. I'm posting this update to do that, plus add in some more things that have transpired since. Addressing some of the stuff in the comments, I've been on an H-1B visa for a bit more than two years now. I was on some of the same. I was on STEM opt for about three years after grad school. I had terrible luck with the H-1B lottery and I got one in the last round I was eligible to apply in. For those unfamiliar with the U.S. immigration system, it's basically a game of chance whether you get to stay in the country or not. Super fun. Getting PR, permanent residency, in the U.S. is not easy. I know people who've been here for 15 plus years who are still waiting for their PR. The backlog for certain countries is

ridiculous. And with my country of origin, I'm looking at a wait time that could stretch over a decade. For those of you who DM'd me calling me a gold digger, you guys made me L.O.L. I am aware of the legalities around sponsoring a spouse for a PR, including the financial aspect. It shouldn't have been a problem for the following reasons. I'm a STEM major who recently shifted into management. I work for a large company and I do quite well for myself. My boyfriend is a teacher at a local high school, and our incomes are not comparable. He earns around $60,000. I earn close to $300,000. We've been living together for six years in a two-bedroom apartment near downtown.

We have a shared account to pay for expenses like rent and utilities that we both deposit a percentage of our salary into. The rest of our money goes into our own private accounts, and we don't manage each other's money. He buys his video games, I buy my overpriced skin care. no questions asked. Because I'm pretty frugal, growing up without much does that to you, I've saved up quite a bit of money in the form of savings plus investments. If my boyfriend was worried about the legality of sponsoring me financially for 10 plus years, I would have happily discussed moving the money around. I was even considering buying a house, so we could have made

that a joint ownership thing. The point is, we could have figured it out. I haven't relied on him financially ever, and I didn't intend on doing that in the future. I might not have considered everything, but you have to note that I thought about the marriage for Visa thing very recently, only when the threat of possibly having to leave loomed over me. This isn't something I'd thought about in detail at all. Regarding my situation back home in Indonesia, I come from a very religious and conservative family and had a horrible childhood. My family doesn't support my career choices. I cut contact with my family when I moved to the U.S., so they are not in the picture at all. There's no safety net waiting for me back there, just judgment and expectations I have no

intention of meeting. I was on great terms with BF's family, they loved me. His mom would always send me care packages with homemade cookies and handwritten notes. She'd even started teaching me her secret family recipes over FaceTime. His dad would call me to get my opinion on tech stuff. proudly introducing me as the smart one in the family to his buddies. His sister and I would go shopping together whenever I visited, and she'd confide in me about her relationship problems. His grandparents had even started calling me their bonus granddaughter at family gatherings. Holiday dinners at their house were warm and welcoming, so different from the tents, formal affairs I grew up with. They felt more

like family than my own ever did, which made this situation even more painful. Now, for the actual update, he is now my ex-boyfriend. I took a few days to collect myself and then reached out to him wanting to talk. He agreed to meet at a neutral location. It turns out that he has been insecure about earning less than I did for a while. Apparently, his friends have been poking fun at our relationship, calling me the sugar mommy because I take care of most of the expenses. He never told me this until now. He apparently didn't feel like an equal because our pay differs so much, and started feeling that I was only with him as a quick way to get a PR here. I was speechless, I couldn't believe that his friends gaslight him into doubting our relationship. These were the same guys who'd come

over for game nights, eat the food I cooked, drink the beer I bought, and then turn around and make him feel like shit about our relationship. What kind of friends do that? I reminded him how he had supported me when I was in grad school, like getting me groceries when I had little money to spare, allowing me to stay with him rent-free in my last year of grad school to help me minimize expenses so I didn't have to take out a loan, letting me use his car when I was attending interviews. I told him that he did them because he loved me, and me taking on the majority of household expenses, since I started working, is my way of paying him back for all the things he did for me back then. He said that he gets what I'm saying but also that he didn't expect me to start earning more than him

straight off the bat. Like, what did he expect? That I'd get a STEM degree. from a top university and then deliberately take a low-paying job to protect his ego? I asked if there was any chance he'd consider going to couples therapy, like some of you had suggested, and he declined because he didn't think he was being unreasonable. He said that he wanted to be the provider in a relationship and that he didn't feel like one in hours, so there's no going back from this unless I quit my job and found another that paid substantially less, which isn't going to happen. Not in this economy, not with the life I've worked so hard to build.

Well, long story short, we broke up. His family is in disbelief, they were hoping that he would propose soon, his mom had even shown me family heirlooms that could be mine someday. I've moved into an Airbnb for now, a small studio downtown that costs way too much, but it's temporary until I figure things out. The apartment feels strange without him. I keep turning around expecting to see him on the couch playing his games or in the kitchen making his signature scrambled eggs. But instead, there's just empty space. Edit, a little bit of good

news to end this update with. My company offered me a similar role in a different department. However, this is based out of France and there's a small decrease in pay. I've always dreamed about living in Europe, who hasn't? And I've accepted this offer. I've signed the relocation agreement, and I'll move there in the next eight to 12 weeks. The relocation process has already begun. I'm selling most of my furniture on Facebook Marketplace in Craigslist. I've started taking French lessons online, stumbling through basic phrases and pronunciation. My company is arranging temporary housing for me until I can find my own place. I've been researching neighborhoods in Paris, trying to figure out which arrondissement might suit me best. I know nothing

about French apartment hunting, rental laws, or what makes a good location, but I guess I'll figure it out. That's the story of my life, figuring things out as I go. I'm getting out of this country that never fully wanted me anyway, despite everything I've contributed. Seven years of paying taxes, creating value, making friends. All of that, and I'm still considered an outsider, my presence here contingent on paperwork and bureaucracy. TL.D.R. Boyfriend was insecure. about earning less than me. Boyfriend has now become ex-boyfriend. Company offered a new job in France. Leaving U.S. in two to three months to start a new life in France. Edit reply to a few comments. People took apart my update to point out a discrepancy. I first said, I haven't relied on him

financially ever, and later, I reminded him how he had supported me when I was in grad school, like getting me groceries when I had little money to spare, allowing me to stay with him. rent-free in my last year of grad school to help me minimize expenses so I didn't have to take out a loan, letting me use his car when I was attending interviews. I'm sorry for wording my feelings poorly, causing this confusion. I never asked or expected my ex to help me buy groceries, or house me. I moved to the U.S. to pursue a tech MBA from a top 20 school, and had scholarships and student loans that were going to help me cover the cost tuition plus living expenses, so at no point did I need him to help me. I knew I was going to have a financially difficult time for two years,

and I was prepared for this. My ex, however, did not like that I was eating cold sandwiches and instant ramen most of the time and would bring me some groceries, vegetables, frozen food, and the like, because he wanted to make sure I was eating well. He was also the one who proposed the idea of me moving in with him, because he wanted us to live together, and also thought it would lower my stress levels. He was an extremely kind, considerate, and generous man and it was one of the reasons I fell in love with him. I am extremely grateful for his support. But I wasn't relying on it. Had he not done any of the above, I would have managed. I always do. Update 2. I'm back with an update after about a year of moving to France. My previous posts are

on my profile if you guys want to check them out. I absolutely love it. here. The language barrier is very real. My French was limited to bonjour and merci when I arrived, but I'm taking classes, and the people around me have been incredibly helpful. The first few months were rough, everything from setting up a bank account to figuring out the public transportation system was a challenge. I live in Paris, in a small but charming apartment in the 11th arrondissement. My first week here, I got completely lost trying to navigate the metro system. I ended up wandering around for hours before a kind older woman noticed my confused face and helped me find my way back. I couldn't understand half of what she was saying, but she drew me a little map on a napkin and

pointed me in the right direction. The French bureaucracy is no joke. It took three visits to the bank to open an account because I was missing different pieces of paperwork each time. The electricity company sent me bills in rapid French that I had to translate with Google Translate. figuring out how to pay rent through a wire transfer instead of a check took an entire afternoon and lots of gesturing at the bank. But I've gotten the hang of most things now. I can order at restaurants without the waiter immediately switching to English, progress, and I've memorized my metro routes. I've even made friends with the local baker who now saves me a pane of chocolate if I'm running late on my morning coffee run. I've spent the last year experiencing all the good things

Europe offers. I've visited multiple cities in France, Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Portugal, Switzerland, Denmark, Germany, and Luxembourg. I cannot believe how gorgeous all of these places are, and the more time I spend here, the more I think about how fortunate I am to be able to experience this. I'm soon traveling to Italy, and I'm excited about everything. The food here is incredible. I've gained about 10 pounds from all the bread, cheese, and wine, but it's been worth every calorie. My coworkers regularly bring homemade treats to the office, and there's a bakery down the street from my apartment that makes croissons that would make you leap. My work-life balance is also incredible. I was frequently putting in 10 to 12-hour work days in the

U.S., and I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to work more than eight hours a day here. I love the emphasis on personal time and I cannot fathom going back to the way it was before. When I log off at 5 p.m., I'm truly done for the day. No emails, no calls, no expectations to be available 24 to 7. I actually have time to cook proper meals and go for walks in the evening. I haven't had the courage to get back into dating yet. My experience with the ex has left a really bad taste in my mouth. Even though immigration here is a lot easier than in the U.S. and is not really one of my worries, the thought of things falling apart after putting in a significant amount of time and effort scares me. I've gone on a few casual coffee dates, but nothing serious.

I'm taking my time. My apartment here is small but charming, with a little balcony where I've set up some plants and a small table. I spend my weekends exploring new neighborhoods, trying new restaurants, and occasionally joining expat meetups to make friends. Building a social circle from scratch is hard, but I'm getting there. My ex reached out to me a few months after I moved. He faced a lot of backlash from his family after we broke up, and he wanted to discuss reconciliation because he realized the error of his ways. I told him exactly how he made me feel, and that I could no longer trust him. I had decided to move on and advised him to do the same. He's had to had to downgrade his lifestyle as he could no longer afford to live the same way we did, and I could

tell that it made him unhappy. He had to move to a smaller apartment in a less convenient location and give up some of the luxuries we'd enjoyed together. Not going to lie, I did feel a pang of guilt and sadness after our conversation. But it is what it is. I got a bunch of DMs asking me about what I do. I have an undergrad in comp science, and after a year of working, I decided to pursue an MBA. I was fortunate enough to get into one of the top 20B schools with a scholarship that reduced my tuition by about 30%. I got into tech consulting initially and then switched to product management after a couple of years. Hashtel, Dar, life's good. X's chapter is closed.

Haven't started dating yet, need to find the courage to get back into it. Final update, I now live in the Netherlands. switched over to another company last year. It's cold and wet most of the year, but this summer was glorious, and at times, hot enough to remind me of home. The move from France to the Netherlands was surprisingly complicated. Different paperwork, different systems, different bureaucracies to navigate. I spent weeks gathering documents, getting them translated, and standing in various government

office lines. The Dutch immigration system wanted proof of everything. My birth certificate translated into Dutch by a certified translator. My new company offered a relocation package, but the person handling my case quit halfway through, so I had to start the process over with someone new who had no idea what had already been done. I spent countless hours on the phone, being transferred from department to department, explaining my situation over and over. When I finally arrived, it was pouring rain, welcome to the Netherlands, I guess.

but the company helped with most of it, and I'm settled now in a small but modern apartment in Amsterdam, in the Yardon neighborhood. It's a third floor walk-up in a narrow building typical of Amsterdam, with those huge windows and a tiny balcony overlooking a quiet street. The stairs are so steep they're practically a ladder. Moving my furniture up was a nightmare that involved three guys, lots of rope, and hoisting things through the window. The canals are beautiful, especially in the early morning when the city is still quiet and the water looks like glass. I've bought a bicycle, apparently mandatory for living here, and I'm slowly getting used to the traffic rules and the terror of tram tracks that can catch your wheels.

I've already had one minor crash into a parked car when I was trying to avoid a tourist who stepped into the bike lane without looking. My niece still has the bruise. Work keeps me busy. The new company has a different culture, more direct and less hierarchical than what I was used to. It took some adjusting, but I appreciate the straightforwardness now. There's less political maneuvering and more focus on getting things done. I went through therapy, for a few months. I must admit that I was not fully committed to it. The therapist was nice enough, but I found myself checking my watch throughout our sessions. But talking slash venting helps a lot. That, and distance and time, has definitely helped me heal.

It's a bit hard making friends in the Netherlands. Most people seem to want to stick to their existing social circles. I have made a few friends through the expat community, but these friendships need more time and effort to become something worthwhile. We meet for drinks occasionally or go to expat events together, but it's not the same as having those deep, comfortable friendships that come from years of knowing someone. I've started taking Dutch classes, though most locals switched to English the moment they hear my accent. It's a practical country in that way, why struggle through broken Dutch when we can just speak English?

But I keep trying, mostly when ordering at cafes or buying groceries. I am trying to date now. Signed up on a bunch of apps, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and this Dutch one called Inner Circle that seems popular here. Haven't really had a lot of success so far, but I'll keep putting myself out there. It's strange navigating dating in a different culture, with different expectations and norms. The Dutch dating scene is, interesting. People are incredibly direct here. One guy messaged me you're attractive.

Let's meet for a drink is his first message. No small talk. No questions about my interests. Another told me within five minutes of our first date that he wasn't looking for anything serious and just wanted to clarify that up front. At least they're honest, I guess. I've had a few nice dates, but nothing that really really. really clicked yet. One guy asked me within ten minutes if I was just looking for a European

to marry for citizenship. I walked out of that date immediately, leaving him with the full bill for the drinks we'd ordered. Another spent the entire evening talking about his ex who'd moved back to Germany. A third seemed promising until he mentioned he was technically still married but working on the divorce paperwork. There was one Dutch guy I went on three dates with. He was tall, like everyone here, worked in finance, and had a nice smile. But on the third date, he took me to meet his parents without warning me beforehand. Apparently, that's not unusual here. But I was completely unprepared and showed up in jeans and a casual sweater to what

turned out to be a formal family dinner. His mother asked me about my intentions with her son and whether I wanted children soon. I haven't returned his calls since. dating as an expat adds another layer of complexity. There's always the question of how long I'll stay here, whether a relationship could survive if I move again, if cultural differences will become a problem. Plus, I'm approaching my mid-30s now,

which apparently makes me old in dating app terms. The algorithm probably isn't doing me any favors. I still miss my ex sometimes, especially on days when I'm unwell. Because it reminds me of how he used to take care of me and make me kanji, rice porridge. I miss being cared for. And no, I haven't reached out. That chapter is truly done. I saw on social media that he's dating someone new. I closed the tab as soon as I saw it. No need to torture myself. I got a cat. She's a very loud girl who wakes

me up at 5 a.m. demanding breakfast. I named her copy, which means coffee in Indonesian. She's completely black except for a small white patch on her chest that looks like someone spilled a drop of milk on her. She follows me around the apartment and sleeps on my laptop whenever I'm trying to work. Life is kind of good, I guess. I need more friends XD signing off. I hope you enjoy this story. I believe my existence was flawless until I uncovered my spouse's second existence. Recently, at the age of 44, I stumbled upon a lot of four.

the revelation that my partner, a 39-year-old woman, has been cheating on me. A few days ago, my 14-year-old told me about the affair. I reassured her that everything is okay and that her mother and I will explain it to her. I'm considering telling her that her mother and I have an open relationship to keep the truth hidden, so it doesn't seem like she cheated on me. I've been going through the motions, feeling numb. My wife is still staying at her parents' place and barely communicating with me. Now I understand why. Maybe if I confront her about the affair,

she'll end it and come back home. We have a good life together, and we're good for each other. I feel like I'm just rambling on right now. If this happened to my brother and I saw him talking like I am now, I would grab him and give him a reality check. I've seen movies, heard stories, and watched shows where couples talk about overcoming infidelity.

I used to think they were foolish and should just get a divorce. I always said I would never forgive my wife if she cheated on me. But now, I find myself in the same situation and sounding just like those people. So far, from what I've seen, it was just emotional involvement and exchanging explicit photos, but my daughter discovered many pictures, and I've only seen about four of them. There are at least 30 pictures in total. As I go through the remaining photos, I fear it will confirm that my wife has been having this affair for a long time, and it raises doubts about whether my daughters are biologically mine. If I make this public, it won't just turn my world upside down, but it will also have a profound impact on my daughters.

I don't want to hurt them in that way. I only eat when my daughters are around to maintain the illusion that everything is fine. But when I'm alone, I feel nauseous and tremble. This isn't just some teenage relationship, this is the woman I've built my entire life with. Deep down, I know what I should do, but I don't want to face it. I have five kids, but there's a chance that three of them, maybe even all five, are not biologically mine. The twins and the one my soon-to-be ex-wife is pregnant with.

I'm still waiting for the results to confirm. I know she's still involved with the guy who might be their father, and it's likely that he'll want to be in their lives once the divorce is finalized. But I love these girls with all my heart. I've been their dad for five years. Every time I hear their voices and see their smiles, they bring so much joy to my life. I know it might sound foolish, but I genuinely care for these girls. After a while, the DNA test results are in, and it's not good news. The twins and the newborn are not biologically mine. I confronted my wife about the affair, and while she expressed remorse, she doesn't regret it because she loves the other man. Shockingly, her parents were aware of the

affair long before I found out. They were actually facilitating their meetings by allowing my wife, soon to be ex-wife, and her affair partner to meet at their home. It's baffling why her parents would assist her instead of being decent people. They didn't want to risk facing humiliation, considering their heavy involvement in the local church. Additionally, they didn't want to separate the twins from their biological father. My 14-year-old and 10-year-old kids are currently staying with my brother and sister-in-law. I just don't have the emotional strength to take care of them right now. They harbor strong resentment towards their mother and refuse to communicate with her. Both of them are undergoing therapy to help them cope. I attempted to take the twins with me so they could be with

their sisters, but my wife strongly opposed it and begged me not to. As I was leaving, I noticed the AP, a fair partner, heading towards my in-law's house in his car, so it's likely that he's with my wife at the moment. AP was also married, and I've been in touch with his wife who informed me that she's filing for divorce. I haven't asked her if AP has made any efforts to reconcile, and honestly, I couldn't care less. Screw him. Screw my wife. Screw my stupid in-laws. I always thought my in-laws were uptight a-holes anyway. I'm actually glad they're facing social isolation and being shamed.

My mother-in-law and father-in-law have been expelled from the church, and it seems like the church's social media page has deleted any trace of them. I take pleasure in their humiliation since it's the one thing they were most afraid of. Mother-in-law called me crying, asking me to fix the situation, as if there's something. to fix. Father-in-law wanted me to work things out, but I simply asked him if he would be so eager to reconcile if he were in my shoes. He responded with silence before hanging up. My wife keeps trying to contact me, but I'm ignoring her. I can't help but feel a little satisfaction seeing how desperate she is to reach me. I have no idea what she wants, and I'm in no rush to talk to

her any time soon. I know I'll have to eventually, though. Before I received the results, I was ready to take her to court and fight for custody of the twins. I feel pathetic. Going to work is a struggle. My co-workers look at me with pity, and I've stopped grocery shopping altogether. I can sense people staring and whispering about me. Since this whole thing came out, I've lost around 15 pounds. I can hardly sleep at night, and therapy doesn't seem to be helping much. This has been the absolute worst year of my life. Sometimes I wish I had kept my mouth shut in the car a few months ago.

If I had, I could be enjoying time with a newborn in decorating our home. The house is so quiet. It should be filled with the sounds of my daughters laughing or arguing. I should be busy changing a diaper. I should be hearing my wife belting out tunes, trying to outdo Mariah Carey. The house should smell sweet and feel warm. Dirty diapers should be wrapped up in a bag, ready to be thrown away. I should be wearing a smile, laughing and enjoying life.

This house should be bursting with happiness and vitality. But now, it's just cold, empty, and silent. It feels like everything I've done was in vain. I had a tough childhood and all I wanted was a happy adulthood. But it seems like I can never catch a break. I always end up losing. I don't feel like a man anymore. I don't even feel human.

Update. All this soul searching and regret. It's like being trapped in a maze with no exit. But then a change comes, a revelation, a moment of clarity. Life doesn't have to end here, my life doesn't have to end here, my life. doesn't have to end here. I am not my failures, I am not my broken marriage, and I'm definitely not defined by my wife's betrayal. The realization sets in, the harsh truth that my wife wasn't the person I thought she was. Instead of living up to her vows, she used her parents' house as a den

for her infidelity. And her parents, who I thought were our well-wishers, were no better, providing her and her lover the space to tarnish our marriage. After everything that happened, the divorce was inevitable. I won the custody of my two daughters, and we set off on a new journey. I changed my number, packed up our lives, and moved to a different state to start anew. I wanted to give my children a fresh start, away from the toxicity and the memories of their mother's betrayal. Life's been better. I started rebuilding our lives, step by step. I created a safe and loving home for my daughters. I returned to work, in my life. invested myself fully in it and, in time, the pain began to dull.

My girls resumed school, and slowly, we found our new normal. Meanwhile, I heard news from my old friends that my ex-wife was struggling. She was left with the twins and a newborn, her affair partner vanished after the divorce, and she had to move back with her parents. She was trying to get in touch with me, asking my friends about my whereabouts. But I'd moved on and decided to never let her back. back into my life. She deserved to face the consequences of her actions. It was clear that she was struggling, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. She had brought this misery

upon herself, and it was her own doing. It felt like a taste of sweet justice. But then, I couldn't ignore the fact that the twins and the newborn were caught in the middle. They were innocent in all of this. However, I had to remind myself that they were not my responsibility. They were the responsibility of their father, the man she chose over our family. Overcoming the betrayal was tough, but every day brought new strength. I saw my daughters growing into strong individuals, and their happiness became my solace. As I watched them, I felt a sense of accomplishment. I had been there rock during the most turbulent times, and I felt proud of how well they handled

the changes. In the end, I realized that it wasn't me who lost in the this whole scenario. I found my strength, my peace, and a second chance to live my life on my terms. On the other hand, my ex-wife lost a loyal husband, a loving family, and a peaceful life. Now, as I sit in my new home, my daughter's playing in the next room, their laughter echoing around, I realize that I am far from defeated. I feel more like a man than ever, a man who faced adversity and came out stronger. My ex-wife's betrayal didn't break me. It made me. This is the new reality, the reality I chose, and it is one I wouldn't trade for anything.

Now on to the next story. Story 2. I agreed to an open marriage, but my wife's secret affair destroyed our 15 years marriage. My wife and I, both 29 years old, have been together since high school. We went to college together, pursued professional school together, and now we're in the final stages of our postgraduate training. We've been married for years and have been a couple for 15 years in total. I recently completed my training ahead of her, and I'm entering a phase of my career where I've secured a significant contract. In a couple of months, my salary, which is currently around $50,000, will instantly increase by five to six times. This will allow us to enjoy a lifestyle we've never experienced before. My wife still has two more years until

she reaches a similar milestone in her career. We were so close to finally reaping the rewards of all the years we've supported each other and delayed our own desires. I made sure to negotiate my contract to extend until she finishes her training, so we could have the freedom to choose where we wanted to live and build our dream life on our own terms. Around a month ago, my wife came to me and shared that she was feeling a complex attraction towards a female co-worker and close friend of hers. It was something new for her since she had never felt drawn to women before. I admired her bravery in acknowledging these emotions to herself and discussing them with me,

especially considering her conservative religious upbringing. While we had always been in a monogamous relationship, we had previously talked about the possibility of polyamory in a hypothetical sense. sense. I had expressed my belief that it's possible for humans to have feelings from multiple people without devaluing or undermining the legitimacy of those feelings. She requested a conditional open marriage so she could explore these newfound aspects. She also spoke to her friend, who reciprocated the attraction. Together, we had discussions and established some ground rules that all parties involved could agree on. These rules were designed to ensure that our marriage

remained the ultimate priority while allowing them to explore their connection with each other with full consent. I created this account with the intention of exploring polyamory and open marriage communities. Whenever I felt any negative emotions, I saw them as signs of jealousy that I needed to work on. I even started seeing a therapist specifically to process those feelings and give my wife, whom I deeply trusted, the freedom I believed she deserved. There were moments when I apologize to both of them for taking longer than expected to adjust to the arrangement. However, I didn't have to endure this for long because my growing suspicions that something was seriously wrong turned out to be true. After several instances of our agreed upon rules

being violated within a short span of time, and my wife pressuring me to let her push those boundaries further and faster than I was comfortable with, along with other suspicious and dishonest behavior, I couldn't ignore my doubts any longer. One night, while she was was asleep, I decided to go through her phone to find out the truth. I genuinely felt terrible for invading her privacy like that, even though one of the rules we had agreed upon was complete openness and the option to review each other's digital communications. We both knew I never actually intended to do so. To my astonishment, I discovered overwhelming evidence that they had been having an affair for an unknown period of time, but definitely longer

than our open experiment. It seemed like they had actually come up with the idea together to have even more time together on top of what they were already doing behind my back. During the time I was aware of, they were meeting far more frequently than I knew, with her girlfriend parking down the street and sneaking through the backyard to avoid setting off our security system. They would spend nights together when I was out of town or working overnight shifts. They also lied about having to stay late at work just to spend more time together,

and had closeness at their workplace during work hours. They did it in our bed, didn't even change the sheets afterwards sometimes, which was a boundary that my wife herself had proposed we keep as something for only the two of us. In addition to disregarding multiple physical boundaries and lying about the timeline, I discovered messages where they were making plans for the next two years. They planned to essentially live together in our house for a significant part of the year while I was away for work, using the increased income one would bring in to finance their activities.

What shocked me even more was that my wife was the one taking the lead in their relationship. There were instances where her girlfriend expressed hesitation, and my wife reassured her by saying she would fix everything for them. She told her girlfriend that as long as she kept me content and clueless, they would soon have the freedom to build a life together. As I read through the texts, it felt like I was encountering some kind of twisted sociopath, I had never known before, certainly not the person I've loved and devoted 15 years of my life to. When I confronted my wife about all of this yesterday, she tried to play dumb and

acted as if she had no clue what I was talking about. Even when I showed her screenshots of her own messages, she continued to deny the clear evidence of a long-standing affair she had planned to continue, using me for financial security while leaving a double life with her girlfriend. It took hours of discussion before she finally admitted to everything. Honestly, I'm completely lost right now. Every decision I've made as an adult has revolved around us as a team, always striving for our shared goals that we were so close to achieving. It's like I don't even recognize this person anymore,

and we've been together for more than half of our lives. Now that she's been caught, she's claiming that she ended things with her girlfriend and is willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust between us. To me, it feels like an impossible situation. Because of the nature of their jobs, my wife and the person she cheated on me with will be seeing each other almost every day for the next two years. They'll have to stay overnight together on multiple occasions,

and there's even a possibility of being assigned month-long night shifts alone together. They've already cheated while at work multiple times, with my wife even texting her afterwards about how exciting it was. Even if I reach a point where I want to work things out, I don't see how that can happen as long as they continue to see each other daily. If she leaves her current job, it would essentially mean the end of her career, leaving her with a significant amount of debt and no way to pay it off. She's trying to come up with a system of accountability to regain my trust

and ensure she's not continuing the affair at work, but I can't think of anything that would give me the level of reassurance I need. Her past actions have involved extreme and complicated deception, and she has proven capable of looking me in the eye and lying in a way that made me believe her. I'm almost certain that we need to get a divorce, although I wish I could be completely sure. Her family is deeply religious, and they might disown her because her affair was with another woman. Her family has also witnessed the love and support I've given her throughout the years, and they consider me as part of their family. In fact, I'm probably closer to her parents than I am to my own.

Moreover, her actions at work could have serious consequences, possibly leading to setbacks or even her losing her job. This would leave her with a significant amount of debt that would be difficult to pay off. Even though she has done so much wrong, I can't bring myself to completely destroy her personal life, family, and career. So for now, I'm keeping the truth hidden from all almost everyone we know, until we can come up with a believable explanation for why this seemingly happy and accomplished couple is getting a divorce right when we were about to enjoy the rewards of all our hard work. I feel like a fool, I feel incredibly lonely, and posting anonymously on a subreddit is one

of the few ways I can try to make sense of the most agonizing experience of my life. Update For the sake of covering all bases, I had a discussion with my wife about the possibility of continuing our relationship in some form. There was a tiny chance of reconciliation, but her non-negotiable condition was that she continues seeing her a fair partner. This made it clear to me that leaving is the right decision. Where we live, the law requires a long formal separation period, and we completed the initial draft of the paperwork last night. I must give her credit for being agreeable to almost everything

I've proposed for our divorce. I've aimed to be fair but assertive in deciding how we split our assets, and it's clear that I'll be in a better financial position than her. I'm also getting possession of both pets, which is incredibly important to me. She hasn't hired her own lawyer yet, and unless we encounter unresolved issues, she doesn't plan to do so. Currently, there aren't any major disputes, but having legal representation gives me a significant advantage. I'll stay in the house, occupying separate bedrooms, until the final draft is signed to facilitate discussions about any further changes. Afterward, I intend to move out soon. Hopefully, that will happen shortly. Regarding the job, I've decided to cancel the contract. Since no money had been exchanged and it was

before my official start date, it was a relatively straightforward process. Although it was a good opportunity, there are other options available, and I'm currently in talks with recruiters. I'm considering looking for a job that involves some travel since I don't have any community. commitments tying me down to one place. Completing the separation paperwork made the situation feel more real for both of us, to some extent. I believe her narcissistic and manipulative tendencies, as I mentioned in my previous post, made her think I wouldn't actually leave. The fact that I can make my own decisions and choose to leave while she's still deciding between me and her affair partner seemed unexpected to her. But it's the reality of the situation. As soon as the

separation period is over, I'll be filing for divorce. My friends have been amazing and supportive throughout this ordeal. Both sides of our families have shown overwhelming support for me, and I've been mindful to focus our discussions on what happened rather than dwelling on the gender of the person involved. Several people have generously offered me a place to live while I search for work and figure out my next steps. I feel incredibly fortunate to have such a supportive network and the resources to take some time to sort things out. I can't even imagine how much more difficult this process would be without their help. One of my friends even took me out to be my wingman and helped me navigate the unfamiliar territory of trying to connect with someone new in a bar.

It's a completely new experience for me as an adult since I was just a kid when I got into my previous relationship. I had the chance to meet some really cool people and simply enjoyed being part of social situations where my ex wasn't the main focus. It was a fantastic experience. Lately, I've been prioritizing the practical aspects of moving on, taking care of myself, attending therapy sessions, and rediscovering hobbies that I had neglected for a long time. I'm optimistic that the best days of my life might still be ahead, and I'm grateful for the support from my loved ones and even random strangers on the internet who have reached out to me. I hope you enjoy this story.

Discovered that my spouse was the biological dad of his siblings' child following their tragic passing in a vehicle accident, so I initiated separation proceedings and now he is earnestly pleading. Me to take him back. For context, I, 30F, have been married to my husband, Matthew, 30M, for five years. He had an older brother, who was also married. His brother, Colin, 35M, and his sister-in-law, Jackie, 32F, had been married for seven years. Matthew and I met when we were in business school and had been with each other for almost before we finally got married, so we have been together for 12 years if we're counting that.

Colin and Jackie met through friends and they had been together for two years before they got married, so they had been together for almost nine years, which is also a really long time. All of us always got along really well. Both Colin and Jackie were really good friends of mine, too. We could go out on double dates and stuff and I treated the two of them like my own family. That's how much I love them. Colin and Jackie also became parents a year ago and I had even babysat for them several times, never knowing the truth.

Unfortunately, Colin and Jackie both passed away in a really bad car accident about a month ago. It was a tragedy that literally shook me. up our entire family, and their funeral was probably the saddest I have ever felt in my entire life. Both my husband and I are inconsolable and I think we were the ones who had cried the most that day. It has been very difficult for us as a family, with this and coping with the grief of what has happened. The worst part of all and maybe the best as well, is that they left behind their one-year-old daughter. I say it was the worst thing because now, she will have to grow up as an orphan and her parents, no matter how much love is showered on her. Nothing will ever make up for that, but I am

happy that she survived since she was at home and wasn't in the car with them. Since we did not know what to do after her parents had passed away, my in-laws decided that they were going to take care of her for the time being, until they knew exactly what to do. My in-laws would have gladly taken her in, but unfortunately, my father-in-law suffers from motor neuron disease, and my mother-in-law spends most of her time trying to take care of him. So it's not possible for them to take their granddaughter and raise her since it'll be a lot of work and there's also the fact that both of them are quite elderly and can't run around behind a one-year-old. Nevertheless, they still agreed to take care of her until Matthew had figured out a way to deal with this.

Now, personally, I did not have any problem with babysitting, but I had made it very clear to Matthew that I did not see myself taking on the role of a mother at any point in the future, and both of us had discussed this several times, and had come to the conclusion that we did not want kids. So as much as I loved Jackie's daughter, I could not raise her because that was just too big of a commitment. And I was not interested in being a mother. So it was better for me not to be a mother than to be a bad one. So Matthew and I started looking for people who were willing to adopt. We were lucky that their daughter was still young and hadn't known her parents for long enough,

so the adoption procedure was going to be easier for her than it would have been had she been slightly older. She had been living with her grandparents for the last few weeks, but then, nine days ago, Matthew brought her home after work and informed me that he had taken over her responsibility and now, it was going to be the two of us who had to take care of her until we had found the right people to adopt her and make her part of their family now. I agreed to that because I knew it was going to be a temporary arrangement and eventually, we would be able to find a loving home for her. Besides, after what had happened to Colin and Jackie, I did not have the heart to say no,

and both of us were still grieving them, so I did not feel right to say that I would not not be willing to take care of their daughter. It was kind of difficult because both of us had to compromise on our work hours and come back home earlier than usual, since the sitter was not willing to stay that long and was asking for an exorbitant amount of money, which did not seem right for our budget. We had to make a lot of changes around the house in a few days, but I was ready to do it all, for the sake of Colin, Jackie, and their daughter. It was nice to have her around, and it also kept us distracted from the pain of losing her parents, since they were very important to us. I had almost started considering adopting her and telling Matthew that I did not want to give

her up because I had grown quite attached to her and my feelings on parenthood and motherhood had started changing. But unfortunately, I still had to make a tough decision of leaving it all behind, because of what I had found in the bag that Matthew had brought with her, with all her belongings and stuff. I think most of you might have been able to guess where I'm going with this by everything that has happened so far but never in a million years would I ever have imagined something of the sort and I'm still having a hard time believing that it's the truth. So yes, Matthew is the real father of Jackie's daughter. I found out about it when I found her birth certificate and the results of a paternity test at the bottom of the bag that I mentioned. When he had brought her home,

he had also packed all her belongings in a duffel bag in a couple of days ago. I was looking in there because I wanted to check if she had any socks in there since the weather was getting kind of chilly and I couldn't find it the socks that she usually wore around the house. While going through that, I found a file inside and when I opened it, that's what was waiting for me there. I had taken a day off from work because I had a bit of a cold coming on. Matthew was at work when I found out and it took me a couple of minutes to realize that the documents were authentic and not fake. For a few minutes after reading through those papers, I was numb. I didn't even know how to react because like I have mentioned above, all of us were

really close and we had been together for so long that I don't think anybody would have imagined something like this could even happen. But it was right there, the proof was in front of my eyes, and I couldn't deny it, even if I wanted to. I literally broke down in the middle of the room and started wailing crazy. I think I might have even scared the neighbors of with how hard I was crying. After being together for almost 12 years, you never expected something like this from your partner, so it was very difficult for me to process. But I pulled myself together within half an hour, decided to stop crying, and called my lawyer up immediately. I sent him photos of what I had and for good measure, I took them with me while I was leaving the house and I still have them with me.

After I had spoken to my lawyer, the reality of the situation hit me, and even though I was really sad, I was also equally angry. I don't even think that anger begins to explain how I felt, I was infuriated and he was really lucky that he was not at home that day because I might have done something to him that could not be undone, I'm not even ashamed to admit it. But anyway, I was really upset, and so, I decided to take photos of the documents that I had found and in my rage, I decided to send them to everybody in his family. And when I say everybody, I'm not even kidding, I mean, literally every single person whose contact information I had on my phone, I just blindly selected all the contacts and sent it to them. With the caption that said that I now knew the

truth about Matthew and I wanted to know what kind of a person he was as well. After sending that text, I started packing my things as quickly as I could, so I would be able to get out of the house before Matthew came back home. I had to do something about Jackie's daughter as well because I was not going to leave a one-year-old at home alone, no matter what was going on. I was pissed off with Matthew, not with her. She was just a baby, she didn't even know what was going on. So I decided to take her along with me and move to my parents' house. When I reached their house that day, I had been crying in the cab while heading over to their

place anyway, so when I finally got there, I had already been crying for a while. And when I saw my mother open the door, I broke down into tears again and did not stop crying for about the next hour. I had turned my phone off so that nobody would be able to reach me because I simply did not want to be contacted, especially by anybody from Matthew or his family. I was in a really bad place at the time and I would say that I still am because there is no easy way to deal with this. Anyway, after I had told my parents about what I had found and shown them the proof, they told me that I had made the right decision by choosing to file for a divorce and talking to my lawyer immediately.

There was no going back from this. Later that evening, Matthew showed up at my parents' house, but it was so that he could take his niece back home with him. It's not like he did not try to talk to me, but my parents made it very clear to him that I was not interested in speaking to him. I think he was there, standing in the doorway and refusing to leave for about half an hour, with my parents and demanding that they let him in so he could talk to me. He insisted that he could explain everything, but I'm not an idiot, what happened,

No explanation of his was going to change the truth. I was really disappointed and part of me actually wanted to go down and talk to him myself so that I would at least be able to get some clarity or some closure, but I decided against it because I did not trust myself or my emotions and I did not want to act rashly. Everything was still very fresh that day and I couldn't deal with any of this drama at that point. So I chose to stay in my room quietly and let him argue with my parents and then leave. instead of going downstairs to talk to him myself. So he left with his niece, and I only turned on my phone after that. As soon as I turned my phone back on, I was bombarded with messages from everybody who had received my text earlier, where I had sent them the pictures of the documents and talked about how I finally knew what Matthew really was

and what he had been up to behind my back. Everybody was apologizing, even though it was not their fault, but I could send that even though they were apologizing, it was more like, we are sorry, but now that. that it's done, you have to take him back because you guys have been together for so long and not, we are really sorry that this happened to you and whatever you think is appropriate. You should do that. Most of the messages that I received had that vibe. People were saying things like this is unacceptable. It's outrageous and whatnot, but the next message was mostly just them talking about how we had been together for 12 years and how they did not want to tell

me what to do, but they were sure that we would be able to work things out and would really love for us to stay together. They did say that ultimately, it was my call to make, but I knew that if they got to know that I had already spoken to my lawyer and filed for a divorce, they would not be pleased with that. I have not blocked Matthew anywhere yet because I'm still just very confused about what I should do. He has been sending me messages and trying to call me ever since I left, but I haven't been responding because I just don't know what to do now. Mother sent me a message last evening, saying that there is an explanation for all of this, but she thinks that it would be better for Matthew to explain it to me, and for that to happen, I have to actually speak to him.

She kind of implied that I shouldn't just cut him off so he's still without even bothering to hear his side of the story and that I need to talk to him at least. So I messaged her back, finally, saying that I did not need to respond to him because I had seen with my own eyes what the document said, and I knew the truth now. I highly doubt that he would be able to say anything that could change the fact. And she told me that I had seen what was true, but I still needed to talk to him to get to the bottom of this. Not doing so would just make it so much worse because people in the family were already reeling from the loss of Colin and Jackie, this would just shatter Matthew and his family. I am in a very difficult position and I have no idea how to go about

this. I'd for not wanting to talk to my husband after I found out he was his niece's biological father? Update 1. Hi, after going through the comments on the original post, I decided to talk to my husband after all. I hadn't been responding to any of Matthew's calls and texts, but after reading the comments, I opened his chat and finally replied that I was ready to talk to him. He hadn't said much in his texts, he just kept telling me that he really wanted to talk to me and explain everything. Not that there was much to explain, it's pretty much what I thought, but what he said made me realize that I was right to file for a divorce immediately. I met him this morning, he came over to visit me. He looked very upset and started off by apologizing to me for keeping this a secret

for so long. And then, he started telling me that he and Jackie had only hooked up once, and it meant nothing to either of them, and both of them regretted it. I did not by that because it seemed unlikely that they would get together only once, it was just a gut feeling. And Jackie was no longer here, so she couldn't tell me the truth either. Anyway, he told me that coincidentally, both of us had been fighting and so had she and Colin. He says that he doesn't remember what we were fighting about, but it was something petty and he had left the house in a huff and had headed over to Collins' house to talk to him. But when he got there, he couldn't find Colin, and Jackie explained to him that he had also left because they had been fighting. She looked

very upset and when Matthew asked her what they had been fighting about, she broke down and into tears and he started trying to comfort her. She invited him in and explained to him that they had been fighting about whether they were ready for a baby or not. Colin wanted a child and Jackie was just not ready. So that's what they had been fighting about and he got really mad, so he left to cool down. Matthew started trying to comfort her and one thing led to another, so they ended up sleeping together that day. He told me that and did not come back home until really late that day and she wanted somebody to be there for her because she was really upset and that's why he had stayed there instead of coming back and he apologized to me for making.

Such a huge mistake. He told me that both he and Jackie discussed it later and agreed never to bring it up again because it was just a mistake and it would literally never happen again since they knew that they loved us and would never do anything to hurt us, which is ironic, given the circumstances. But shortly after that, she got pregnant and even though she had decided earlier that she did not want kids, as she was not ready yet, she did not want to break Colin's heart, and so she decided to go through with the pregnancy. Both of them were really stressed out until the baby was born and after that, when they found out her true parentage, they decided to keep it a secret from both of us and agreed that Jackie and Colin would raise their daughter as their own and

never bring this up again. Jackie was a lawyer and she dealt with all the paperwork, which is how she was able to avoid Colin finding out about any of the details on the birth certificate. And Colin Trusted Jackie blindly, so he never bothered to double-check anything. They had listed Matthew as the true father of her daughter since Jackie had the fourth thought to think that in case anything happened to her, she would want the baby to go to him next. I can't imagine how Colin was never able to find out about any of this for so long, almost a year. He must have really trusted Jackie and I guess he was too busy adoring his daughter to care about any of the documentation and paperwork. It was a clever move on Jackie and Matthew's part, not such a clever move to keep the

paperwork in the file and the bag and not bother to properly hide it from me. After Matthew was done telling me everything, I told him that it was too late for the truth, and in any case, I had already spoken to my lawyer and started to prepare for a divorce. This did not change my mind in the least. It was overall quite disappointing since I had expected that they would genuinely have an explanation that would change my mind since they have been behaving like talking to Matthew once would change everything. He and his family had literally been begging me to give him a chance to explain, but this was not something that made me think any differently. It just made me think that I was right to file for divorce because you just can't

recover from something like this. Not after 12 years of being together, I don't think anybody in my place would have forgiven him or even given him a chance to talk to me like I did today. Anyway, when I told him that I was not going to change my mind, he started begging me for another chance and told me that he could not live without me. He even said that he had already lost his and such a close friend of his, he could not afford to lose me as well, and that he needed me to be there for him because he was going through so much. I almost laughed out loud because of the people that he had lost. I had also lost those very same people. I had been equally close to his brother and sister-in-law, and the four of us had been a group, but he and Jackie were the ones who

screwed us over. I don't bear any ill will towards Jackie, but I can't forgive Matthew. And even in such a situation, he was thinking about what he had been through and not me. He was the one who screwed up, this was his fault, and I was the one who had lost two of my close friends and then found out that my husband had been cheating on me and even had a daughter with another woman, who happened to be so close to me. All in the span of just one month, it couldn't have been easy for me either, but I was still trying to deal with it with dignity. I explained all of this to him, but he just refused to understand and kept begging me to come back to him. After one point, it started getting on my nerves, so I just told him that he had to leave,

and if he didn't, I would be forced to call the cops on him and have him removed from the property. So he left after that, but he told me that he would be back and he was not going to give up until I came back to him. He sounded pretty determined, but it honestly just doesn't make a difference to me anymore. He has broken me in ways I did not think was possible, but it's done now and I feel like an idiot for even giving him a chance to explain. I don't know what I was thinking, but at least now I know the whole story. And I know that I cannot forgive him, not now and not ever. Update 2, I just spoke to my lawyer.

It has been a week and a half since I left my home and he finally told me that the papers were going to be served to my husband tomorrow. I have mixed feelings about all of those. On one hand, I am relieved that we can finally start the divorce proceedings. It's been slightly delayed since my lawyer had to deal with some personal medical issues this past week. The work had been slow, but now, we can finally start the proceedings, and I can just get it over with and try to move on with my life.

On the other hand, I feel shattered because this beautiful chapter of my life, which had been beautiful so far, is coming to an end for such an ugly reason. I was already finding it really difficult to cope with the loss of two of my friends, and now I have to deal with the divorce as well. So that's slightly sad, but I'm trying to find the silver lining. That's the only way I can get through all of this and I hope that the divorce procedure isn't as emotionally draining as life recently has been. Update 3, hi, so Matthew was served with the divorce papers today.

The first thing that he chose to do was visit me again, probably hoping that speaking to me in person would make me change my mind. He has been texting me and trying to call me ever since I told him to leave, but I went back to ignoring him. I also blocked everybody from his family because I did not have anything left to say to these people anymore. All of them have been trying to convince me to go back to Matthew and that tells me everything that I need to know. They have only ever cared about Matthew, not me. The love that his family had shown me was for Matthew's wife and not me as a person. So I blocked everybody who had been telling me to go back to him because if they really wanted the best for me, they would understand that what Matthew did was horribly wrong, and lying to me

and keeping it a secret was even worse. So they would understand why I wanted to leave and why I'm not staying in that marriage anymore. Instead, they refused to understand my point of view and continue to harp on that the two of us were great together, and we had been together for so long, it did not make sense to leave over something like this. My mother-in-law actually said that since Jackie was gone, I had nothing to worry about. I can't believe a human being could say something horrible about another person, especially after being so close for so long. I don't know if Jackie was a good person or not, but what my mother-in-law said was really

below the belt. Anyway, that's pretty much the last straw for me and then I blocked them all. But coming back to what happened today, after Matthew Feud. found out that I was actually going through the divorce, he showed up at my parents' house. My dad was the one who was in the living room when he showed up and as soon as he frantically started ringing the door, and banging on the door, demanding that we open up, my dad told him that he had to leave or he would call the cops. But instead of just leaving, Matthew decided that he was going to stay and create even more trouble. So he told my father to bring it on and

said that he was not leaving until he had talked to me and convinced me to cancel the proceedings. I guess he forgot that he was speaking to my father and not me, my dad did not have a soft corner for him like I did, and he went through with his threat. He had told him that he would call the cops and that's what he did, so Matthew was forcibly removed from our property. He didn't even go respectfully, he went kicking and screaming. It was just really embarrassing for him, and I was watching it all from my room, not even bothering to go out because that would just lead to more trouble. Anyway, he was taken away or rather dragged away and that was that. I'm actually pretty relieved that my dad dealt with it and did not allow me to deal with

it because no matter what, I still have a soft corner for him and that would have made it very difficult for me to report him. At least he got what he deserved. Update 4, I've been blocked by Matthew. Yep, that happened. I just find it really funny because I did not block him, he did. I can't imagine why he would do so when I'm already ignoring him and not bothering him at all. It'll just make it difficult for us to communicate directly during the divorce. That's it. Ultimately, it's his decision. Well, his decision was influenced by his family.

His mother sent me an email after that day when we called the cops on him and he was forcibly removed from our property. She mentioned in the email that she was incredibly disappointed that our family would do something like this and treat him like a criminal when he was only trying to get me back. She was acting like we were the villains for doing what any other family in our place would have done. She did not even seem to care for the fact that it was Matthew who had been acting unhinged and had spoken in a very harsh tone to my father. And it's not like he hadn't been warned, my father had told him that if he didn't leave, he would call the cops on him. He had been warned, and yet he chose to stay there.

After that, we were not responsible for what happened to him. He was trying to compensate for his mistakes in the past. in her opinion. She was basically just playing the victim and said that she couldn't believe that in spite of having such a close relationship for so many years, my family put him through and I would sit by and allow it to happen. She expressed how disappointed she was that I hadn't even bothered to come out of the house to check on him and make sure that he was right, even as he was being taken away. So she told me, towards the end of the email, that her son would not be bothering me anymore, and that she was going to make sure that he moved on for me as quickly as he could.

Well, good luck to her with that. God knows I want the same things as well for the both of us. But anyway, game on. Now, I'm only going to focus on getting what I deserve from the divorce and nothing else. No sympathy, no mercy, and definitely no soft corners anymore.