Reddit Stories - Sever ties with my GUARDIANS after they PRIORITIZED their new COMPANIONS over me

Episode Date: November 14, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #priorities #boundaries #communicationSummary: I decided to sever ties with my guardians after they prioritized their new companions over me. It was a difficult decision, but necessary for my well-being and self-respect.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, priorities, boundaries, communication, guardians, companions, selfrespect, wellbeing, decision, difficult, necessary, sever, tiesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Sever ties with my guardians after they prioritize their new companions over me and my niece, but now my father is experiencing heart issues and I am unsure of what to do. Forgive them before it's too late. This post will probably be long and I'll try not to ramble too much. And hope that this post is easy to follow. But I'm not sure how to handle the situation at hand so I need advice. For context, my parents are swingers.

I found out about them being swingers right after I graduated high school in 2016. I've never really had an opinion on the matter until recently. I don't care what they do behind closed doors, but I personally don't want to see it in person. I'm sure that makes me sound like a bad person. But I've always accepted them for who they are. It's honestly just really weird to see my parents make out with other people when they're around a group of people, anyways, they are in a relationship with another couple. and have been with them for almost two years.

They, being the other couple, just recently moved in with my parents because they lost their house and couldn't find another place in time. My parents kicked my sister, her fiancé, and their baby out of the basement in order to give their friends the space and put my sister, her fiancé and baby upstairs in one bedroom to share, which is a small 12 by 12 room. The friends have also stated that they're another set of grandparents for my niece and call themselves Grandma, insert name, and Papa, insert name. My sister and her fiancé are not comfortable with this, but my parents and their friends don't seem to care because they are

altogether as one. Now, on to the vacation. We were supposed to go on our first ever family vacation last year, October 2021, but it ended up getting pushed back to April of this year, due to costs, because of my wedding, which everyone was fine with. It then got pushed back again, because my sister was in her third trimester of her pregnancy and couldn't fly. It is now scheduled for February of 2023. My parents told my sister and I, along with our soes, that they would be bringing their friends along on the vacation. And I'm frustrated about it to be honest. With the way that they've been handling things with my sister and with all of their PDA,

it's made me not want to go anymore. It's our first ever family vacation, like I've already mentioned, and I wanted it to be just family. I'm at a loss and I'm not sure how to handle the situation. And I slash we don't want to upset my parents about how I, and everyone else, my husband, sister and Bill, feel. Any advice? Edit 1, I'm married and do not live at home anymore. Although my sister, her fiancé, and baby do, they're currently looking for places. We live in a state where cost of living is super high, like a lot of places right now.

and with them only having one income it's harder for them to find something. Hopefully that clears things up. Edit 2, I didn't expect this to get as much attention as it did. And I have read each comment and taken advice. So thank you. I'm fully aware that my parents are adults and can do what they want. I never once said that they couldn't. And I never said I wasn't against their relationship with this other couple.

They refer to themselves as swingers, but yes, you could say they are in a polyamorous relationship. The issue I have is how they shove it down everyone's throats. I don't care what they do in private, behind closed doors. But once I see the PDA and the other things they do to each other when other people are around, that's where I get uncomfortable around the situation. They have a calendar on the fridge that says what nights they will swap beds and sleep with the other person. X. My mom and the other woman move between my dad and the other guy. There are also times where they make sexual jokes about screwing each other, or randomly flash each other when we are around. Like, at least wait until people aren't

their due so those things. That's the part I'm not okay with. Update 1, hi everyone. A few weeks ago, I made a pod about my parents inviting their friends on a family vacation and said I'd give an update after I talked to my parents. Well, I did, and it didn't go well. Also, sorry the update took so long, I've been struggling with the outcome really badly and I needed time to write it all out. So, on to the update. I brought up all of my feelings to my parents and they weren't very happy. They asked why I never brought it up, and I told them that it was because I was fine with

everything, until I started seeing it, and that's when it made me uncomfortable. Now they think I don't accept them for who they are and they don't really see an issue with inviting their friends or doing other things with their friends in front of everyone else around. My mom basically said that what they do is none of my business, or anyone else's, and they can do what they want. Which is true, they're adults and can do what they want. But some of the things they do, should be in private settings, and not for others to see. They also consider their girlfriend and boyfriend to be family, again, which is fine, I know many people do, and since it's a family vacation, so they're still inviting them, regardless of how everyone feels about it. I just want

to be with my parents for once without their friends being there, and having them be all over each other. They also see no issue with their friends calling themselves grandparents to my niece. I got upset and told them my husband and I would not be attending the vacation and they could take someone else. And until they understand where I'm coming from, I would not be going around. So for the time being, my parents are being cut off. I'm very sad about the outcome, and it makes me sad that they would choose their friends over their own child. But to each their own, I guess.

Thank you all for the comments. I read every single one of them, even if I didn't comment back, I still read them. There were some very nice supporting ones that really helped, and also some not very nice ones that also helped. So thank you all. Comment one, I'm sorry about that. Did your siblings ever back you up? Oop, yes, my sister agrees with me.

I'm not sure if she's planning on going or not, so if she doesn't, we might go on our own little vacation update too. I cut my parents out of my life and now my dad might be dying. I'd quote to do. Hi everyone. I, 27F, just came here for advice maybe? I don't really know. I just needed a place to talk about this.

There's a ton of backstory, so I'll try to explain it as much as I can, and hopefully it doesn't get too confusing. I also have another post regarding the subject from a couple of years ago, so maybe this is also kind of an update post. My parents are in an open-slash polyamorous marriage. They started out as swingers when I was seven, and a few years ago they met another couple and decided to just be with them, which is fine. I am happy that they are happy, however, when the other couple, we will call them D&T, came

into my parents' life, my parents changed, they became very toxic slash controlling and just all around not fun to be around. They don't take anyone's feelings into consideration and force their other partners into our lives, which over the last couple years, I have decided I don't want to be around D&T. On multiple occasions, they were all inappropriate in front of us, my sister slash her family and my husband and I, and it was just really uncomfortable in a lot of ways. They, my parents, kicked my sister and her family out of their basement apartment and moved them to a small bedroom upstairs in their house, so they could move their other partners into their house. My niece was also only two months at this time. From there, things have just

gotten worse. D&T referred to themselves as my second parents and as grandparents to my son and my niece, which I have asked them not to do since I barely know them. My parents have chosen their other partners over my sister slash her family and myself and my family many times. My sister had to move emergently last year and my sister asked my mom if she could watch my niece since it was raining slash snowing outside. And my mom said no because they were going to spend the night playing Mario Kart and didn't want distractions. When I told them I was pregnant, the very first thing my dad said to me was, can we tell DNT? And I said no. After my son was born, I went to my parents' house for a short 30-minute visit and as soon as I got there,

my dad texted Dee to tell her I was there. So she and T came upstairs. My mom was holding my baby, eight weeks at the time, and when D&T came up, she handed my son to D without asking me. I was so upset. I want to clarify I would have been upset if anyone just handed my baby to someone without asking me, I wasn't upset just because of the person. You should never hold a baby without permission from the parent. I had a very intimate religious ceremony, similar to a christening, where we only wanted family and our close friends. I invited my parents, and they asked if they could bring D&T and I said no because it was for family and close friends. So they decided not to come. They decided not to come to a family event because I didn't want their other partners there,

which they consider family and I do not, which I have clearly tried telling them over years of them being with D&T. Because this event was for my son, I decided they weren't going to pull any more stunts. They weren't going to choose them over me and my family anymore. So, I cut them out. I told them that I'm happy that they're happy and because I know they love them, I wasn't going to make them choose between us. I told them I wasn't done being hurt and I needed time away from them. I haven't seen or spoken to my parents since April of 2024. I have tried telling my parents about my boundaries many times, but they don't listen and they just want us all to be one big happy family, which my sister and I, and our partners, don't want. We both just want to be around

our parents. Anyways, I got a text from my mom yesterday, saying my dad was just diagnosed with heart failure. And I have so many emotions. I'm angry, and I am also sad. My heart hurts. I don't know what to do. Part of me is wants a better relationship with my parents, as long as my boundaries are followed, but another part of me has never been happier slash felt more at peace these last nine months. I just don't want to have my dad pass and regret not letting him have a relationship with myself or my son. I just hate getting hurt by my parents all the time. I am in therapy and have been working through everything for a while, but it's still so hard.

Any advice is appreciated and I will try to answer any questions anyone has. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I'm sorry if it's confusing. Edit, I want to say, my parents have been with other couples that I have loved. It wasn't until D&T that I had an issue and it's because of the actions that they have done that have pushed me away. I am happy that my parents are happy, but I shouldn't have to put myself in an uncomfortable position to make other people happy. So I ultimately decided to keep distance in order to make my mental health better. Comment one, this is something you need to decide. They are only reaching out because of his condition, not because they want to be better parents.

They already chose D&T over your son. Your son doesn't need to see them. You can go alone and see what is really going on. They want to guilt you into forgiving them. They haven't tried to apologize. eyes. Oop, that's how I feel. I feel like they're pressuring me to see them when I'm not ready. My mom texted me a couple months back saying how long are you going to stay away from us? Are we still toxic? And I feel like they're blaming me for not seeing them when I voiced my

boundaries countless times and they chose to ignore them. I know it's not on me, but they're making me feel like shit because I want to protect myself and my son from being hurt. Oop gives examples of how they were inappropriate over the years. Examples of being inappropriate include them flashing each other in front of us, my dad pulling down his pants and mooning the front door when I walked in because he thought it was his girlfriend and other inappropriate actions that shouldn't be done in front of other people especially your children and their spouses. He would put his hand on my back and I would ask not to be touched.

I get very uncomfortable because of some essay from my childhood, so I don't like being touched by many people. But yet, he would do it every time I saw them. I have tried many times to voice my boundaries and they have not been respected. If these inappropriate behaviors stopped, I wouldn't mind seeing them along with my parents, but I shouldn't have to if I'm uncomfortable. The boundaries I have voiced, I don't want them calling themselves my second parents or grandparents to my child. I don't want to see all of their inappropriate PDA, I'm fine with a kiss, but the inappropriate stuff can wait until people aren't visiting. I don't consider them family, just as my parents don't consider any of my friend's family.

Comment too, you'll never have the relationship you want with your parents as it's clear they are selfish and will always include their partners. Don't feel guilty, they have never put you first. Oh, O'p, thank you. I needed to hear don't feel guilty. This whole situation has taken a toll on me for years. I just learned I need to do what's best for me and my little family. Next story, Black wife and I had a son who looked too dark to be mine,

so I secretly got a paternity test that proved he was mine, but when I told her about it she called me racist and we got divorced. I'm a 29-year-old white guy. My wife is 30 and black. We have two kids, a three-year-old girl and a five-year-old boy. My wife got pregnant with our son early in our relationship. We had only been together a year. We got married because she got pregnant.

Fortunately for us, we are actually happy. When my son was born, I accepted him as mine. However, I couldn't help noticing how little he looked like me. He is noticeably darker than my wife. He doesn't look half white. My family and friends have asked if I'm sure he's mine. I had doubts, but I initially decided to trust my wife. I loved my son regardless.

When our son was two, my wife had our daughter. I had no doubt she's mine. She looks just like me, she even has my blue eyes. I never realized how powerful it is to know a child is yours. I bonded with her easier because there wasn't the question of paternity dangling over our heads. My family bonded with her faster too. Her resemblance to me convinced me that my son is not mine. I tried to always treat them equally as I see them both as my children.

But I realized I was beginning to resent my son. It felt unfair that I had to care for someone else's child. I also began to resent my wife because I felt she had betrayed me. I finally got a paternity test in secret. I was relieved to learn that my son is in fact mine. Genetics are weird. Anyways, that was four months ago and my relationship with my wife and son improved dramatically. I feel much closer to him now that I know he's mine.

My wife and I have been so happy that we were talking about a third child. I confess to my wife I got a paternity test. I hated keeping this secret and I thought she would understand given how much she doesn't look like me. She flipped out. She asked me if I ever doubted our daughter, and when I said no, she called me racist. It's not true. I didn't prefer my daughter because of her whiter features. I just knew she was mine.

She also said that I made our son feel unloved for no reason for all those years. I said that's bull. Even when I didn't believe my son was mine, I treated him as though he were. My wife says she wants to move out and take our children after the quarantine. It's been about a week and a half and I'm still on the sofa. I hope she would have calmed down by now but things haven't changed. She's just so furious with me for not trusting her and for her. for in her eyes. Denying my son because he's dark. She barely talks to me unless it's about

the kids. I don't want to lose my family. Is it so awful that I had doubts? I still took care of him. I don't understand why something like this is wrecking my marriage. I think she is overreacting. So, Ida. Update 1, after being ripped to shreds on my first post I didn't plan to ever log into this account again. Some recent events have persuaded me to update you all on what's been going on. I'll just get right to it. My wife and I are separated currently. I moved out so she and the kids could stay in our home. I'm staying with my parents for now. I don't get to see my kids as often as I would like to. When I have a more stable living situation will have joint custody of them. It's been very hard on me and the kids. I talk to the

them on the phone every night, and they both keep asking when I'm coming home. It breaks my heart that I can't answer that question. My daughter is taking it the worst. I feel awful that her world had been turned upside down by her own parents. I miss my family. I miss seeing my kids every day. I miss my wife. Our relationship has been put in limbo for now. She says she needs space to process, and doesn't know if she will be able to forgive me. I've apologized in every way that I know how to. At this point I just have to give her the space she wants and hope she calms down. It would be horrible for us to throw away if separating has been this hard in the kids, divorce is going to shatter them. She seems open to seeking couples counseling. It gives me

some hope we can work past this. As for Reddit, I admit I didn't want to hold myself accountable before. I couldn't see how my actions were subconsciously harmful to my son. It was never my intention to be racist, but I did treat my son differently due to his skin color when you strip it down to its roots. I realized how bad I fucked up when I felt ashamed thinking my wife has probably told her family why we separated. They used to think really highly of me. Now they all probably think I'm a racist.

I have no one to blame for that but myself. With all the craziness going on in the world I know that. that I need to be more aware of my actions. My kids deserve to have their family to be safe haven from racism. It scares me thinking about the type of world I will send them out into where they could be racially profiled in most places. I can't imagine if it were my son on the news instead of one of those other poor guys. I'll never let anything get in the way of my relationship with him again.

Thanks all. Update 2. It's been over a year and a half since I used this account. I stopped replying to PMS a long time ago because, to put it bluntly, I felt like shit when I was reminded of what caused me to make this account in the first place even though most of the PMS I got weren't bad. I was shocked but flattered to see dozens of messages still coming in as recently as a few months ago. I want to give an update on my life for those people. I'm single. My ex-wife and I had our divorce finalized early in 2022. We had gotten back together

for almost a year after I told her about the paternity test. I made promises to be a better husband and I believe that I kept those promises even though it didn't work. Unfortunately things were not the same despite both of our best efforts, including months of counseling, couples counseling and private counseling for her. The fact of the matter is she could never forgive me enough to trust me so it was never going to work. Towards the end she didn't even want to be intimate with me in any way so much that I slept most

nights on the couch or in my kids' rooms. We became roommates. I would have kept trying to fix things forever, but she was willing to face the fact that it was overweight before I could. I still have a lot of love for her and I think I will forever. I'm not ashamed to say I haven't gotten over how devastating it was even though it's my fault. I developed depression badly, which I know some people would say I deserve. I even had to quit my old job due to it. I still miss her and even more I miss what we had together. I dread the day that I will hear that she is in a relationship with someone else because I know it will come someday. I have an apartment to myself now. It took a while for me to get on my feet. My kids, now 8M, almost 6F, spend every

other weekend with me and I get them 50 to 50 when there are breaks from school. My son is very athletic and is very good at soccer. As he has gotten older I have seen more of myself in him than I did in his youth. He hasn't heard about the paternity test and I hope he never will. He's a great kid. I work hard to make up for the time lost when I was anxious to get too close to him. My daughter is still my mini-me. She loves me almost as much as I love her. She's athletic too loves gymnastics and soccer. I think a lot about how if I hadn't needed a paternity test they might have another sibling. Not a good thing to dwell on. My life went in a direction I didn't expect. It's not perfect, but it's getting better every day. I have a lot to

be grateful for and I remind myself of that when it is hard. My kids are all that matters. Thanks for caring.