Reddit Stories - SIBLING COVERTLY BORROWED my bridal gown without consent and tainted it with crimson

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #familydrama #weddingdress #betrayal #confrontationSummary: My sibling covertly borrowed my bridal gown without consent and tainted it with crimson. The betrayal led to a tense confrontation, causing family drama and strained relationships.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, sibling, covert, borrowed, bridal gown, consent, tainted, crimson, betrayal, confrontation, family drama, strained relationships, wedding dress, sibling betrayal, family conflict, weddinggownBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling covertly borrowed my bridal gown without consent and tainted it with crimson wine, subsequently declining to cover the costly restoration expenses due to her pregnancy, and my guardians are involved in the situation. Taking her side, so I had to get the law involved. I, 27F, have a younger sister, 23F, who is currently planning her wedding on a very tight budget. I'm also engaged to be married next year, and I was extremely close to our late grandmother, who saved money to contribute to my wedding. With that gift from Grandma,

I had a custom wedding dress made for myself, something I'd always dreamed of. It's a beautiful, one-of-a-kind gown tailored to my measurements, made of high-quality silk and lace. It also has immense sentimental value to me, knowing that it was paid for using Grandma's savings she set aside before she passed away. My sister Emily, fake name, recently came to me in tears, complaining that she can't afford anything nice for her own wedding dress. She and her fiancé have limited funds, and the dresses within her budget at local boutiques are, in her words, cheap-looking or not her style.

She knows I have my custom-made dress already, my wedding is still several months away, but I've had my gown completed early. Emily asked if she could borrow my wedding dress for her big day, rather than buying a new one. I was not comfortable with this request for a few reasons. First, the dress was literally made for me, it's fitted to my body and my style. Emily and I have different body types and heights, so even if she wore it, it would need

significant alterations to fit her. I'm not okay with altering my custom dress for someone else's use. Second, the gown is extremely precious to me because of the personal and financial investment, Grandma's money, in it. I intend to cherish it as an heirloom. The idea of it being worn by someone else. potentially stretched out or damaged, makes me very anxious. Third, my wedding hasn't happened yet.

I haven't even worn my dress to my own wedding, and I want to be the first person to wear my own gown on my special day. It just doesn't feel right to let someone else, even my sister, wear it before I do. I tried to explain to Emily as gently as possible that I understand her situation, but I'm not comfortable lending out my wedding dress. I suggested she look at consignment shops or online resale for a discounted gown, or maybe we could find a seamstress to adjust a simpler dress to her liking. I even offered to help her shop within her budget and see if our mother's old wedding dress

could be updated or used. But Emily wasn't interested in those solutions. She specifically wanted to wear my dress because she said it's the prettiest dress she's seen and would make her feel like a princess without the princess price tag. after I firmly told her no, she became very upset. She accused me of not caring about her happiness and said I was being selfish. She claimed that since I got an expensive custom dress thanks to grandma's money, I should be kind enough to let her experience something special too, especially since she can't afford luxury. I told her I was sorry she felt that way, but my decision was final.

I later got a call from our mom and dad, who had heard from Emily about the situation. They were on her side. They said sharing is what sisters do and that I should have agreed to at least let Emily try on the dress or use it for her ceremony. My parents feel that since I was fortunate to get an expensive dress, I should share that good fortune with my little sister, and they noted that technically the money for the dress came from family, grandma, implying it should benefit the family as a whole. I love my sister and I empathize with her financial stresses, but I also feel protective of my wedding gown. It's not just any dress, it's a custom piece made for me with love and memory attached. I also worry that something could happen to it if it's taken out of my care. I don't want it lost or ruined before I even get to wear it.

I explained these reasons to my parents and Emily, but they still think I'm being unkind. Emily has been giving me the cold shoulder, and my parents keep bringing up how we raised you girls to share and support each other. They've even said that Grandma would have wanted me to help Emily. though I disagree, Grandma was very clear the money was for my dress and would likely be upset to see it dragged into a fight. All of this has been causing a lot of tension. My fiancé is backing me up fully, he thinks it's a bad idea to let anyone else, even family, borrow my wedding dress before our wedding. He also pointed out that if the situation were reversed,

he doubts my sister would lend out her wedding dress. Still, my parents and sister are making me feel guilty, saying that I value a dress over my sister's happiness on her wedding day. That's not true, I want her to have a beautiful wedding, and I know weddings are important. But I don't think I should have to risk my most precious dress to make up for her budget issues. Am I the asshole for refusing to let my sister borrow my custom wedding dress? Comment one, I get that it's your special dress, but she's your sister and she's struggling. You're only going to wear that gown once, right? Would it really hurt to let her use it for one day so she can feel beautiful too. I mean, it's not like you'd be giving it away forever, just lending it. From her perspective, it probably feels like you care

more about a dress than her feelings. Op, I do understand where she's coming from, and I want her to feel beautiful at her wedding, I really do. But even if I only wear my gown once, I plan to keep it forever as a memory and possibly pass it down someday. It's not just a one-time use thing to me. The seamstress who made it told me that significant alterations could ruin some of the delicate lacework and structure. There's a real chance it wouldn't even look the same afterward. So yes, I'd only wear it once, but I paid, and grandma paid, for the luxury of having it made for my body and preferences. It's not that I value a dress over my sister, it's that I value the meaning and integrity of this particular dress. Lending it out isn't as simple as letting her borrow a T-shirt.

If something went wrong, I'd be devastated. I've tried to help her in other ways, but she isn't accepting those. Comment two, how did the money for your custom dress work? Did your grandma leave money specifically to you for this? It might help to clarify, since your parents are bringing up that it was family money. Also, if your parents feel so strongly, why can't they or you help chip in for your sister's dress instead of risking yours? Up, before she passed, Grandma gifted me a sum of money specifically to buy my wedding dress.

She literally told me to get the dress of my dreams. She didn't leave any equivalent fund for Emily because, at the time, Emily wasn't engaged, Grandma passed away two years ago, before Emily's engagement. As for my parents, they're not in a position to buy her a fancy dress either. They've been helping with some basic wedding costs, but money is tight. So I guess they saw me lending out my wedding. dress as the easiest, cheapest solution for Emily. I don't see it that way at all, that gift from Grandma was meant for my dress, and the dress is mine to keep. Comment three, stand your

ground and lock that dress up. I have a bad feeling she might try to take it when you're not around, given how fixated she is. We've seen stories on here of sisters doing crazy things when it comes to wedding drama. Don't let it out of your sight. Up, I honestly hope that would never happen. Emily can get dramatic when she's upset, but actually stealing my dress would be an extreme I don't think she'd go to. That said, you're right that she's very fixated on it. I'm keeping the dress at my apartment, and as of now only my fiancé and I have access to it. The only other person with a spare key is my parents, for emergencies. I doubt they'd ever hand it over to her without telling me.

But I will definitely be vigilant. I've stored the dress securely in a garment bag in the back of my closet. I might even move it to a safer place if it makes me feel better. Thanks for the warning, I'll be careful. Update 1, well, some of you warned me in the comments that my sister might try to pull something behind my back. I honestly didn't think it would happen, but, it did. Yesterday while I was at work, Emily used the spare key to my apartment to let herself

in and take my wedding dress out of my closet. it. I had given a spare key to my parents for emergencies. I still don't know if my parents actually handed it to her or if she took it from where they keep it. That's a whole other issue. She later admitted she wanted to try on the dress in secret, since I wouldn't let her have it. Emily said she figured if she could just put it on and see herself in it. She'd know if it could work for her wedding or if she should drop the idea. Apparently, after sneaking the dress out of my place, Emily brought it with her on the subway ride back to her own apartment. Why she couldn't just try it on at my place, I'm not sure, maybe she wanted to show it to her fiancé or friends.

This is where the absolute disaster happened. Emily claims that on the subway ride, she bumped into someone with an open bottle of red wine, which splashed through plastic and onto my dress. When she got home and opened it, the front of my gown was soaked with dark red stains. I didn't find out any of this until later that afternoon. I came home from work and went my closet to check on my dress. After these recent events, I'd become a bit paranoid and wanted to be sure it was safe. To my shock, the garment bag was there but the dress was gone. I absolutely freaked out. I started calling my fiancé, he was at work, then my mom. My mom confessed that Emily had taken the dress just to try it on and that there had been an accident.

I drove straight to my parents' house, where Emily was, and saw my poor dress, now back in a bag, with huge red wine stains on the bodice and skirt. I burst into tears when I saw it. Emily was crying too, apologizing over and over. She kept saying she only wanted to feel special for a little while and never meant for this to happen. I was absolutely livid and screamed at her that she had no right to take my dress, especially after I explicitly said no. It's true it was an accident, but it was an accident that she caused by doing something she knew she wasn't supposed to do. My parents jumped in to calm us down. They were saying things like what's done is done, we'll fix it. My mom had already found a specialty dry cleaner slash

bridal cleaner that agreed to do an emergency same-day cleaning treatment on the dress. We all immediately took the dress over there. The cleaner managed to do a quick surface treatment that evening, and some of the wine came out, but the stains are far from gone. The dress is made of delicate silk, and the red wine had already set in pretty deep by the time we got it to the professionals. There are still faint reddish marks all over the front. The cleaner said they did what they could for now, but it might need a more intensive process, and even then, no guarantees. I took the dress back home with me after that initial cleaning attempt, because I didn't want to leave it anywhere. Here's the part that made it. Here's the part that

made my blood boil. My parents and Emily want me to split the cleaning bill with my sister. The cleaner charged a hefty fee for the rushed job and for dealing with a wedding gown. It came out to a few hundred dollars. Emily is basically broke at the moment with wedding expenses, so my parents covered the bill on their credit card. But they're saying I should pay them back for half of it, because accidents happen and Emily didn't do it on purpose. Their argument is that I'm the one who will ultimately benefit from the dress being cleaned, since it's my dress, so I should chip in. They also keep emphasizing that Emily was only trying to feel special and didn't intend any harm, and that I should have a heart because she's my little sister. I flatly told them I'm not paying a dime

toward that bill. I didn't ask for any of this. I was at work, minding my own business, expecting my dress to be safely at home. Emily had no permission to take it. If anything, she should be paying for all the consequences, not me. We had a huge argument right there in the parking lot of the cleaners. My dad got angry and said I was being unsympathetic to an honest mistake. I was screaming at that point, I was so furious and upset. That led to my dad telling me to stop being dramatic and my mom trying to hush us because we were causing a scene. In the end, my parents said we'll talk about it later and that everyone needs to cool down. They still have the stance that I should help pay since I'll want the dress clean for my own use eventually. I feel like that's completely unfair,

it's basically rewarding Emily's bad behavior. I drove home with my dress, what's left of its former glory, and just cried in my fiancé's arms. He is equally furious at my sister and parents, and he suggested we take further action, but I'm not sure what to do yet. I'm so damn angry and heartbroken. I've refused to reimburse my parents for the cleaning cost, and right now I'm not speaking. I'm not speaking to my sister at all. I'll update again if anything else happens, but wow, I just can't believe she actually did this to my dress. Comment one, this is beyond outrageous. Your sister literally trespassed and stole your dress. Accident or not, that's basically theft. You'd be within your rights to call the police on her for what she did. At the very least,

make sure she and your parents don't have access to your apartment anymore. Change your locks if have to. Up, I was absolutely thinking the same thing in the heat of the moment. My fiancé outright asked me if we should call the police when it first happened. In the end I haven't gone that route, it just felt too nuclear to get the police involved in a family matter, especially since I did get the dress back, albeit damaged. But trust me, I considered it. As for access to my apartment, you bet I've reclaimed that spare key.

I drove straight to my parents after this and took my key back from them. I haven't decided about changing the locks yet, since I have the only copies now, but I probably will anyway just for peace of mind. And I've moved the dress to a safer location. My fiancé's parents have a spare room and offered to keep it secure for me, because I'm not taking any more chances. Comment two, accidents happen is not an excuse here. Your sister caused this mess by taking something that wasn't hers.

She owes you 100% of the cleaning and repair costs. Don't pay a single cent honestly, your parents siding with her and expecting you to pay anything is absurd. They're enabling her terrible behavior. Op, exactly. I flat out refused to pay for any of this. I told my parents and sister that I won't reward or subsidize what she did. She's the one who ruined it, so she's the one who should cover all the costs to fix it. My parents keep saying I'm being harsh because Emily's financially struggling, but that doesn't

make it okay to steal from me and then stick me with the bill when it backfires. I'm standing firm on this. It's been tense, my parents are still acting like I'm lacking compassion, but I think they're just coddling her because she's the baby of the family. Regardless, I'm not paying. Comment three, is the dress completely ruined? Do you think the stains can come out with more cleaning, or are you looking at having to replace it. I'm so sorry this happened. Also, are you going to make your sister pay for the

full repair slash new dress? She absolutely should. Op, I don't know yet if it's completely ruined. After the initial rush cleaning, it still got noticeable staining. The cleaner recommended a more intensive treatment and possibly consulting a professional bridal restoration service. I planned to call the custom dressmaker who made it to ask their advice as well. It might need actual reconstruction of parts of the gown if the stains don't come out, like replacing stained panels of fabric. That sounds extremely expensive, but I'm going to explore the options because I love this dress and really want to save it.

And yes, I 100% will expect my sister to pay for whatever it takes to restore or replace it. My fiancé is in agreement, he even suggested that if she refuses, we might have to consider legal action, which I really hope can be avoided, but at this point, I'll do what's necessary to make this right. We haven't gotten to that stage yet. I'm giving everyone a chance to calm down and do the right thing. But there's no way I'm simply eating the cost of this disaster. Update 2, it's been a little while and I have new information.

I took my dress to a highly recommended bridal tailor-slash-cleaning specialist to see what more could be done. Unfortunately, the news isn't great. The remaining stains are so deeply set into the fabric. and spread across multiple layers, that standard cleaning won't remove them without damaging the material. The specialist and my original dressmaker consulted, and they concluded the only real fix is to physically replace the stained panels of the gown with new material. Essentially, they'd have to dismantle parts of the dress, the front skirt panels and an underlayer of silk

that got soaked through, and re-sew in fresh fabric. It's a very labor-intensive restoration, and the materials, matching high-quality silk and re-embroidering some lace, are expensive as well. The estimate for this repair is roughly equal to one month of my rent. For reference, my monthly rent is about $1,350, so we're talking in that ballpark. I shared this information with my family. My parents seemed genuinely freaked out by how high the cost is, and my sister. Well, she burst into tears. She apologized yet again and said she had no idea it would be so complicated and costly to fix. I said, point blank, that this is what needs to be done to restore the dress to the condition it was in before she took it, and therefore I expect her to cover the cost, since this entire

situation is her doing. Emily then offered me $300. She explained that $300 is literally her entire wedding dress budget that she had set aside, since she was originally planning to buy a cheap gown off the rack. She said that if she gives me that $300, she'd have to just wear something she already owns or find a white dress from a thrift store for her wedding. In her view, offering me her whole dress budget is a sign

that she's trying to make it up to me as best she can. But $300 doesn't even come close to the repair estimate. It would cover maybe a fifth, 20% of the cost. I was honestly speechless that she thought that would be sufficient. I told her $300 wouldn't solve this, it wouldn't restore my dress. That money wouldn't magically produce the additional silk and professional labor needed. She got very upset and said that's all she has, and she can't conjure money out of thin air. She also said something along the lines of, you already have your nice dress, and you have more

money than me, maybe you and, fiancé, can cover the rest? I'm doing my best here. That just infuriated my fiancé, who was with me during this discussion. He responded that it's not about who has more money, it's about who is responsible for the damage. He told her point-blank that we wouldn't be spending our own wedding savings to fix a mess she created. My parents jumped in and suggested maybe I could use the backslash $300 and just find a local dressmaker to patch something together or cover up the stained part with a sash or flowers to avoid the full cost of repaneling. That suggestion frankly hurt, I don't want to stick a random

applique over the stains on my dream dress, I want it properly restored. I could tell my mom and dad are worried about how Emily will afford to pay the full amount, and they were grasping at any alternative to make it seem not so bad. They even floated the idea that maybe the stain isn't that noticeable and I could just where the dresses is, which made me really angry, because the whole point of this was to have my once perfect dress intact for my wedding. The stains are very noticeable, you can see a dull wine-colored shadow on the ivory fabric, right in the front. No way to ignore that. At this point, my fiancé and I told my family that we need to figure out a serious plan for how this repair will be paid for, and it shouldn't be on us. We proposed

having a formal sit-down conversation with everyone, parents and Emily, and us, to hash this out with clear heads, because emotions were running high. My sister was still crying, my mom was fretting about the cost, and my dad was quiet and looked unhappy. We all agreed to meet in a couple of days at my parents' house to discuss financial responsibility and the path forward. Honestly, this whole thing has been extremely stressful and has really driven a wedge between me and my sister and my parents to some extent. My fiancé is furious, I'm exhausted from all the crying and anger, and Emily is acting like her life is ruined because if she has to pay for my dress repairs, she'll have to slash her own wedding plans. I do feel a little bad that this expense will be a

huge burden on her. I know money is tight for them, but I keep reminding myself that I didn't cause this situation. She did. And I shouldn't be the one to sacrifice my dress or my savings to make it right. We'll see how the upcoming family meeting goes. I'll update again afterward. comment one, your sister offering only $300, when she owes around $1,300 plus, is frankly insulting, even if that's all she's got. She doesn't get to wreck something and then decide to only pay a fraction. If she doesn't have money, she needs to figure out a way to get it, not expect you to cover the rest. Up, I was stunned she thought $300 would suffice. I get that she's struggling financially, but that doesn't mean she can shrug off most of the cost.

$300 won't restore my dress. She needs to figure out a way, a loan, a payment plan, something, to cover the rest, because I am not going to eat the remaining amount. Comment two, if your sister truly can't afford it, then your parents need to step up. They enabled this whole situation by siding with her from the start. Are they willing to contribute to the repair costs at all? It sounds like they're more interested in pressuring you to drop it than holding her accountable. Up so far, my parents haven't offered any money at all.

They covered the initial cleaning bill and even tried to make me pay half of that, but they haven't stepped up for the repair. Instead, they're just trying to get me to find a cheaper fix or let it go. I even asked them point-blank what happens if Emily can't pay, and they dodged the question. It's frustrating, they pushed for me to share my dress. But now that it's damaged, they aren't rushing to help pay for the consequences. Comment 3. I normally wouldn't advocate suing family, but at this point small claims court might be your best option if she refuses to pay the full amount. She stole and ruined a very

expensive, sentimental item. You have evidence and receipts. If she won't cooperate in covering the costs, taking legal action could be the wake-up call she needs. Op, trust me, we're thinking about it. My fiancé especially feels that we might have no choice but to go the legal route if she doesn't agree to pay. I'm really torn because, well, it's my sister, I never imagined I'd have to consider suing my own sibling. But you're right that I have receipts, emails from the tailor about the repair estimate, photos of the damage, etc., and the fact is that she took the dress without permission. It's essentially property damage. We're going to see how the upcoming family meeting goes.

I'm still hoping we can get a commitment from her, perhaps she could do a payment plan or something informal. If she absolutely refuses or just can't pay, small claims court is on the table. I really hate that we've come to this point, but I also have to protect myself here. Update 3, the family meeting did not go well, in fact, it turned into a disaster. We all gathered at my parents' house two days ago. me and my fiancé, my sister and her fiancé, and our parents. The goal was to agree on how the dress repair cost would be handled. My fiancé and I came prepared with copies of the repair estimate and a suggested payment plan for

Emily, for example, she could pay me back in monthly installments over a year or two. I was still hoping we could solve this without legal action. Initially, the conversation was tense but civil. I reiterated that I wouldn't drop this issue and that the dress needed to be restored properly for my wedding. I acknowledged that $1,300 is a lot and told Emily I was willing to accept a payment plan if she couldn't pay it all at once, as long as we had a written agreement that she'd cover the full cost over time. Emily looked nervous and barely spoke at first. My dad told her to respond, and that's when she finally blurted out, tearfully, that there's a new complication, she is pregnant.

We all fell silent for a moment. Then Emily and her fiancé explained that they just found out she's about eight weeks along. Emily said, with a baby coming, I can't possibly pay anything right now. We have to save every spare penny for the baby. My mom immediately switched gears, gasping, oh my goodness, that's wonderful news. And fussing over Emily. My dad sighed heavily and said to me, you see, they'll have a baby to care for. We all need to be reasonable here.

I congratulated Emily, but then I told that her pregnancy doesn't change the fact that she owes me for the damage. I said something like, I'm happy for you, but I still expect you to take responsibility for my dress. That set her off. She started crying, saying I was heartless to demand money when she's facing huge expenses for a child. She said I have no idea how costly babies are, and that she needs every bit of money for prenatal care and savings since she'll have unpaid maternity leave. I responded that I'm not asking for the money immediately if she can't swing it, I'm fine with starting payments after the baby is born, or some other arrangement, but I needed her commitment that she will pay the full

amount, in writing. At that point, everything devolved into yelling and tears. My mom started crying and begged me to just let it go for the sake of the baby and our family. She said I was going to permanently damage my relationship with my sister over money, and that money comes and goes, but family is forever. My dad told me I needed to be flexible now that circumstances had changed, and suggested I postponed the repairs until after things settle down for Emily, essentially asking me to drop it for now. My fiancé lost his cool and said, being pregnant isn't a get-out-of-jail-free card. She still ruined the dress. Pregnancy doesn't erase debt. Emily's fiancé who had been quiet, said,

We honestly have no way to pay right now. Maybe in a couple of years, after the baby, we could start paying in small amounts. Hearing that, I realized they had no intention of making this right any time soon, if ever. I was furious and hurt. I told my sister, I'm sorry you're stressed, and I can't wait to be an aunt,

but that doesn't erase what you owe. You can't just wreck my dress and then say you won't pay for it because you chose to have a baby. Emily sobbed that I was choosing a dress over her child's future. My mom scolded me for being cruel to a pregnant woman. At that point, my fiancé took my hand and said we should leave because it was clear we were not wanted here.

Before walking out, I told them since we couldn't reach an agreement, I'd be pursuing this in small claims court. My dad began to protest, but I cut him off and said, I have to do this formally since you're all refusing to resolve it another way. My sister was crying even harder, my mom was saying, please, don't do this, and my dad just shook his head at me. My fiancé and I left while my parents were still shouting that I reconsider. It was awful, but I felt I had no other choice. The very next morning, I went ahead and filed a claim in small claims court against my sister for the full repair costs.

I've notified my family that from now on will handle this through the legal system. It's sad that it came to this, but I tried everything else. Now I'll have to wait for our court date. I'll post again when I have the outcome. Final update, the court case is over, the judge ruled in my favor. My sister is legally required to repay the full cost of the dress restoration. Since she couldn't pay it all at once, the court formalized a payment plan for her. She has to pay me back in monthly installments over the next year and a half.

To my surprise, my parents quietly covered the first installment on her behalf. They mailed me a check for that amount with a note saying they hope this settles things for now. I suspect they helped with that initial payment to prevent my sister from facing immediate financial strain. I did go ahead and get my dress fully restored. It was expensive, but the bridal specialist did an amazing job. My gown looks as perfect as it did originally. having it back in pristine condition lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. My fiancé and I can now refocus on our upcoming wedding without this issue hanging over us.

As for my family, we've all agreed to give each other some breathing room. For now, I'm keeping contact with my sister and parents to a minimum so everyone can cool off. My sister is due to have her baby in a few months. Perhaps after the baby is born and some time has passed, we can slowly rebuild our relationship. But at least for the time being, staying low contact is what's needed for everyone's peace of mind.