Reddit Stories - Sibling INSULTED my adopted child by LABELING him as WORTHLESS and flawed during

Episode Date: July 27, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #parentingwoes #adoptionissues #siblingrivalry #emotionaltraumaSummary: During a family gathering, my sibling insulted my adopted child by labeling him as worthless and flawed. The hurtful words caused emotional trauma and sparked a heated argument, leaving our family relationships strained and in need of repair.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familyissues, adoption, siblingconflict, emotionalabuse, hurtfulwords, familydynamics, relationships, communicationbreakdown, healingprocess, familytherapy, conflictresolution, emotionaltrauma, familybonding, forgivenessjourney, rebuildingtrustBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling insulted my adopted child by labeling him as worthless and flawed during her pre-wedding celebration. As a result, I declined to cover the expenses for her marriage ceremony. Later, she arrived and intoxicated at my residence. Physically attacked me and got arrested. I adopted my son with my wife before she passed away. Jacob was four years old then and now he's 10. His biological parents lost custody because of neglect and abuse, and after being in the foster

system for two years, I was lucky enough to become his dad. Jacob is the best thing that ever happened to me and I love him more than anything in this world. My sister Isabel is getting married next month and I agreed to help pay for the wedding because she and her fiancé are both teachers and don't make much money. We're talking about $15,000 from my side alone here, which is a lot for me but I wanted to help family. Isabel seemed really grateful and kept telling everyone how generous I was being and how she couldn't do it without me. Last weekend was Isabel's bachelorette party and she invited me to the dinner part before they went out to bars. I brought Jacob because my babysitter

cancelled last minute and Isabel said it would be fine since it was just dinner at a nice restaurant. Jacob is really well-behaved and polite, he was just sitting there eating his pasta and not bothering anyone. Isabelle had been drinking during dinner and she started talking about how excited she was about starting her own family soon. One of her friends asked if she wanted kids right away and Isabel said yes, she wanted real kids, not like fake adopted ones that come with baggage and problems. I tried to stay calm and asked her what she meant by that. Isabel looked right at Jacob and said that adopted kids are just damaged goods and that real parents who birthed their own children have a special bond that can never be replicated with some piece of trash you pick up from the sidewalk.

She said that's why she would never adopt because you never know what kind of mental problems and bad genetics you're getting stuck with. Jacob heard every word and he pushed his chair back and ran to the bathroom. I could see other people at nearby tables staring at us because Isabel had been talking pretty loud. Her friends looked uncomfortable and one of them told Isabel that was really harsh. Isabel just shrugged and said she was being honest and that people need to stop pretending that adoption is the same as having your own kids. I got up and followed Jacob to the bathroom and found him crying in one of the stalls.

I told him that Isabel was wrong and drunk and that he is my real son and I love him completely. Jacob said he wanted to go home and asked why Isabel hates him so much. I had to tell him that some people say stupid things when they drink but I was furious inside. I went back to the table and Isabel was still talking about how she thinks adoption is just people trying to play house with someone else's broken kids. I told her we were leaving and that what she said was disgusting. Isabel rolled her eyes and said I was being too sensitive and that Jacob probably couldn't even understand what she was saying anyway because foster kids usually have learning disabilities. I walked out of that restaurant and drove Jacob home in complete silence. He didn't say anything the whole way, but I could tell he was still upset.

When we got home, he went straight to his room and I could hear him crying through the door. I sat outside his room for a few minutes just listening to my son cry because of what my sister said about him. The next morning, I called Isabel and told her I wasn't paying for her wedding anymore. Isabel started screaming at me through the phone saying I was ruining her life over nothing and that she was just being honest about adoption. I told her that calling my son trash was not nothing and that she clearly doesn't respect me or my family. Isabel said that Jacob isn't really my family and that I need to stop pretending like adoption make someone a real parent. I hung up on her and blocked her number. Then I called the wedding venue and cancelled my credit card authorization for the remaining payments.

Isabel had already put down deposits using my card for the flowers, catering, and photographer, so she's on the hook for about 20,000. in total costs now. Isabel showed up at my house that same evening with our parents and our brother. They all started yelling at me saying I was destroying Isabel's wedding over a misunderstanding. My mom said that Isabel was just expressing her personal feelings about adoption and that I shouldn't take it so personally. My dad said that Isabel has been planning this wedding for two years and that I'm being cruel to pull out my support over some words.

Hi, I'm Darren Marler, host of the Weird Darkness podcast. want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt. Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ads into your episodes. No editing required. And with Spreker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Spreaker also has a pre-refer subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access,

adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Sprinker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out Spreaker.com. That's S-P-R-E-K-E-R.com. I told them exactly what Isabel said about Jacob and how she called him trash and damaged goods. My mom said that Isabel was probably just nervous about becoming a mother herself and didn't mean it the way it sounded. My brother said that Isabel has always been supportive of my adoption and that she must have been really drunk to say something like that. Isabel stood there the whole time and never once apologized or said she was wrong.

She just kept saying that I was overreacting and that she never meant to hurt Jacob's feelings. She said she still thinks adoption is different from having biological children, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care about Jacob. I told them all to get out of my house and that Isabel's wedding was her problem now. My dad said I was being stubborn and that family should stick together no matter what. I said that Isabel should have thought about that before she decided to insult my son in public. Jacob came downstairs during all this yelling and heard Isabel say that she didn't understand why everyone was making such a big deal about her opinion on adoption. Jacob looked at Isabel and asked her why she thinks he's trash.

Isabel looked uncomfortable and said she never called him trash specifically. Jacob said yes she did and that he heard her say he was picked up from the sidewalk like garbage. Isabel got angry and told Jacob that he was being dramatic and that he needs to learn that not ever is going to sugarcoat things for him in the real world. She said that adopted kids need to develop thick skin because people are going to have opinions about their situation their whole lives. I lost it completely and started yelling at Isabel that she had no right to talk to my son like that in my own house.

I told her to fuck off and never come back. My parents tried to calm everyone down but I was done listening to any of them defend Isabel's behavior. After they left, Jacob asked me if what Isabel said was true about adopted kids being different and damaged. I spent the rest of the night explaining to him that Isabel was completely wrong and that there's nothing different or wrong with being adopted. I told him that I chose him specifically because I wanted him to be my son and that makes our bond even more special than families who just happen to share DNA. Now my entire family is calling me constantly trying to get me to change my mind about the wedding payment. Isabel's wedding is in three weeks and she's scrambling to find ways to pay for everything.

I don't care if Isabel has to cancel her wedding. She made her choice when she decided to call my son trash in front of a restaurant full of people. I'm not paying for a wedding for someone who thinks my child is damaged goods that I picked up from the sidewalk. I've worked too hard to build Jacob's confidence and sense of security to let my sister tear it down with her cruel words. Isabel made it clear that she doesn't see Jacob as her real nephew and that she thinks I'm playing pretend family with damaged goods. That's not someone I want in my life or my son's life. The money isn't even really the issue here, it's the principle. I'm not going to financially support someone who is such little respect for my family.

Isabel can figure out how to pay for her own wedding like most adults do instead of expecting her brother to subsidize her special day after she insults his child. So I'd offer not paying for my sister's wedding. Update 1 It's been a week since I posted about my sister Isabel calling my adopted son Jacob Trash at her bachelorette party and me pulling my financial support for her wedding. The situation has gotten much worse and my family is completely losing their minds about Isabel's wedding being in three weeks. My parents' brother and sister have been calling me multiple times every day demanding that I reconsider paying for Isabel's wedding. My mom came over yesterday with a whole speech about how family forgives each other and how I'm being stupid over something Isabel said while drinking. She said that Isabel has been crying every day about her wedding possibly being ruined and that I need to think about how this is affecting the whole family.

I told my mom that Isabel hasn't apologized once and that she still doesn't think she did anything wrong. My mom said that Isabel is under a lot of stress with the wedding and that I should be the bigger person here. She said that Isabel loves Jacob and would never intentionally hurt him and that I'm reading too much into some careless words. But the truth is that I'm starting to wonder if Isabel's attitudes are more common in my family than I thought. The fact that my parents and brother are so quick to defend her and dismiss what she said makes me think that maybe they don't fully accept Jacob either. Maybe they all see him as less than a real family member and Isabel was just the only one drunk enough to say it. I decided I needed to confront Isabel directly about this whole situation, so I called her yesterday morning. Isabel answered the phone crying and immediately started begging me to reconsider helping with the wedding.

She said that she's going to have to cancel everything and that Alan is talking about postponing the wedding indefinitely because they can't afford it. I told Isabel that before we talked about money, she... Hi, I'm Darren Marler, host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt. Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insert insert ads into your episodes. No editing required.

And with Spreker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Spreaker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners, can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Spreeker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows.

So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out Spreaker.com. That's S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com. Needed to apologize to Jacob for what she said. Isabel said that she already told everyone that she didn't mean it the way it sounded and that Jacob should know she cares about him. I said that she needed to apologize to Jacob directly and acknowledged that what she said was completely wrong.

Isabel got quiet for a minute and then said that she thinks there's been a misunderstanding about what she meant. She said that when she talked about adopted kids having baggage and problems, she was speaking generally about the foster system and not about Jacob personally. She said that Jacob is different because he's been with me for six years and he's adjusted well to our family. I told Isabel that she specifically called Jacob trash and said he was picked up from the sidewalk. Isabel said that she was making a point about how society views adoption and that she wasn't expressing her own personal opinion. She said that she was trying to explain

why she would choose to have biological children instead of adopting but that doesn't mean she thinks less of Jacob. This is where Isabel really showed her true colors and her bridezilla behavior came out completely. When I told her that her explanation was bullshit and that she clearly meant what she said, Isabel started screaming at me about how I'm ruining her life over a misunderstanding. She said that I'm being cruel and vindictive and that I obviously care more about Jacob than my own sister. Isabel said that she's been planning this wedding for two years and that I'm destroying everything she's worked for because I want to play victim. She said that Jacob is fine and that I'm manufacturing drama because I like the attention of being the wrong party.

She said that I've always been jealous of her happiness and that I'm using this situation as an excuse to sabotage her wedding. I told Isabel that she was showing her true personality and that this is exactly why I don't want to support her wedding. Isabel started crying and screaming that I'm a terrible brother and that I never really cared about her happiness. She said that if I really loved her, I would help her even if I was upset about what she said. Isabel then said something that really shocked me. She said that she thinks I have unrealistic expectations about how people should treat Jacob and that I need to accept that he's always going to be seen as different because he's adopted.

She said that I can't protect him from reality forever and that people are going to make comments about his situation his whole life. I asked Isabel if she was saying that it's okay for people to call Jacob trash because he's adopted. Isabel said that's not what she meant, but that I need to teach Jacob how to handle insensitive comments instead of attacking everyone who says something I don't like. She said that Jacob needs to develop thicker skin if he's going to survive in the real world. That's when I completely lost my composure and started yelling at Isabel about how she has no right to tell me how to parent my son or what Jacob needs to learn to tolerate.

I told her that my job as his father is to protect him from people like her who think adopted kids are less valuable than biological ones. Isabel started crying harder and said that I was being mean and that she never said Jacob was less valuable. Isabel then tried a different approach and started talking about how much she loves Jacob and how she's watched him grow up for six years. She said that she would never intentionally hurt him and that she thinks of him as her real nephew.

But then she said that she still believes that biological families have a special bond that adopted families don't have and that there's nothing wrong with having that opinion. I told Isabel that her opinion is wrong and hurtful and that she can keep it to herself instead of sharing it at family dinners in front of my son. Isabel said that she should be able to express her honest feelings without me attacking her and that I'm being controlling about what people are allowed to think. The conversation ended with Isabel hanging up on me after she said that she hopes I'm happy about destroying her wedding and that she'll never forgive me for choosing Jacob over her.

She said that blood family should come first and that I'm making a mistake by prioritizing an adopted kid over my real sister. I talked to Jacob about the phone call because I wanted him to know that I will always defend him against people who try to make him feel less than. Jacob said that he heard Isabel yelling through the phone and asked what she was saying about him. I told him that Isabel still doesn't understand why what she said was wrong but that her opinions don't change how much I love him or how proud I am to be his father. Jacob said that maybe it would be better if Isabel wasn't part of our family anymore since she thinks he doesn't really belong anyway. I told him that Isabel's opinions are her problem and that he absolutely belongs in our family no matter what anyone else thinks. But honestly, I'm starting to think that Jacob might be right about Isabel not being someone we need in our lives. The wedding is in three weeks and Isabel is completely panicking about the money situation.

My mom called me this morning saying that Isabel might have to move the wedding to a community center and cancel the photographer in flowers if I don't help. She said that Isabel's dress has already been altered and paid for and that it's too late to return anything. I told my mom that Isabel made her choice when she decided to insult Jacob and then double down on her comments instead of apologizing. My mom said, Hi, I'm Darren Marler, host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast. podcast belt. Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's

monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ads into your episodes. No editing required. And with Spreaker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Spreaker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Spreeker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out spreeker.com. That's S-P-R-E-K-E-R dot com. that I'm being stubborn and that this whole situation is hurting the entire family. She said that Christmas and other family gatherings are going to be ruined because of this conflict. The wedding can happen or not happen, I don't care anymore. Isabel can figure out how to pay for it herself or she can cancel it and blame me to everyone who will listen.

What I won't do is reward someone for calling my son trash by giving them $15,000 for a party. Update 2 I need to update everyone on what happened with my sister Isabel and her wedding situation because things escalated way beyond what I ever expected. The wedding was supposed to be this weekend, but Isabel showed up at my house last night completely drunk and attacked me. It's been three weeks since my last update where I talked about confronting Isabel on the phone about her comments toward my adopted son Jacob. Since then, my family has been putting massive pressure on me to change my mind about helping pay for the wedding.

Isabel apparently managed to scrape together enough money to keep most of the vendors, but she had to make major cuts to the reception and cancel the photographer. My parents have been furious with me about this and my mom has been sending me guilt-trip texts every day about how Isabel is heartbroken and stressed. My dad called me last weekend and said that Isabel has been having anxiety attacks and that her fiancé Alan is getting frustrated with all the wedding drama. He said that if Isabel's relationship falls apart because of this, it's going to be my fault. I told my dad that Isabel created the situation herself when she decided to call Jacob trash and then refused to apologize for it.

My dad said that I'm holding a grudge over something Isabel said while drunk and that I need to forgive her for the sake of family peace. He said that Isabel has learned her lesson and that I'm being vindictive by continuing to punish her. But Isabel hasn't learned anything and she definitely hasn't apologized to Jacob. She's been telling everyone in our extended family that I'm trying to ruin her wedding because I'm jealous of her happiness. Jacob has been doing better since my last update, but he still asks questions about Isabel and why she hates him. I've been trying to keep him away from all the family drama, but it's hard when my parents keep calling and coming over to argue with me about the wedding. Jacob heard my mom yelling at me last week about how I'm destroying Isabel's special day and he asked me if he's the reason everyone is fighting. I had to explain to Jacob again that this fight is about Isabel's behavior and choices, not about him.

I told him that some people have wrong ideas about adoption but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with being adopted. Last night around 9 o'clock, I heard someone pounding on my front door and yelling. Jacob was upstairs doing homework and I went to see who it was. Isabel was standing on my porch completely drunk and screaming about how I ruined her life and destroyed her wedding. She was swaying back and forth and slurring her words and I could smell alcohol from three feet away. I opened the door and told Isabel that she needed to leave because she was drunk and causing a scene. Isabel pushed past me into my house and started yelling about how I'm a terrible brother and that I chose some random kid over. my own blood family. She said that Jacob isn't my real son and that I'm delusional if I think

adoption makes someone a real parent. Isabel was stumbling around my living room and knocking things over while she screamed at me. She said that I destroyed her relationship with Alan because he's starting to think that I was right about her being a bad person. She said that Alan has been questioning whether she's ready for marriage if she can't even maintain relationships with her own family. I told Isabel that she needed to calm down and that we could talk about this when she was sober. Isabel said that there was nothing to talk about and that I already made my decision to choose Jacob over her. She said that I obviously care more about some foster kid than my own sister and that she'll never forgive me for ruining the most important day of her life.

Jacob came downstairs because Isabel was yelling so loud and he asked what was happening. When Isabel saw Jacob, she started screaming at him directly and said that this was all his fault for being too sensitive about what people say. She said that Jacob needs to stop acting like a victim every time someone points out that he's not really part of our family. I immediately stepped between Isabel and Jacob and told her to get out of my house right now. Isabel said that she wasn't done talking and that Jacob needed to hear the truth about how the world sees adopted kids. She said that Jacob is going to spend his whole life pretending to belong in families that will never fully accept him and that he might as well get used to it now. Jacob started crying and ran back upstairs to his room. I was absolutely furious and told Isabel that she was drunk and disgusting and that she needed to leave immediately.

Isabel said that I can't handle the truth about adoption and that I'm living in a fantasy where Jacob is my real son instead of just some kid I took in out of pity. That's when I completely lost it and started yelling at Isabel about how she's a horrible person and that she has no right to come into my house and attack my son. Isabel screamed back at me that Jacob isn't my son and that I need to stop pretending like adoption make someone a real parent. She said that real families are built on blood and DNA and that everything else is just people playing house with other people's damaged children. I told Isabel to get out or I was calling the police.

Isabel said that I could call whoever I wanted but that she wasn't leaving until I agreed to pay for her wedding again and stopped destroying her life over Jacob. She said that Jacob has caused enough problems for our family and that I need to choose between him and everyone else. Isabel was standing right in front of me screaming in my face and I told her one more time to leave my house. That's when Isabel completely snapped and slapped me hard across the face. The slap was so hard that my ear started ringing and I could taste blood from where my teeth cut the inside of my cheek. I was completely shocked that Isabel had actually hit me and for a second I just stood there staring at her. Isabel looked shocked too and said that she didn't mean to do that. She said that I made her so angry that she couldn't control herself and that it was my fault for making her feel cornered.

I immediately called the police and told Isabel that she was going to be arrested for assault. Isabel started crying and begging me not to call the cops and said that she was just drunk and upset about her wedding. She said that hitting me was an accident and that she would never normally do something like that. The police came about 10 minutes later and Isabel was still in my living room crying and saying that this was all a misunderstanding. I showed... Hi, I'm Darren Marler. Host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt. Sfreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, post and distribute your show everywhere, from Apple Podcasts to Spotify.

But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insert insert ads into your episodes. No editing required. And with Spreker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Sprinker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue's

to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Sprinker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out spreeker.com. That's S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com. The officers, the red mark on my face and told them that Isabel had been drinking and came to my house uninvited and attacked me. Isabel told the police that we were just having a family argument and that she didn't mean to hit me. The officers could smell the alcohol on Isabel and they asked her how much she had been drinking. Isabel said that she had a few drinks because she was upset about her wedding being postponed but that she wasn't that drunk.

The officers asked if she had driven to my house and Isabel said yes, so they immediately arrested her for drunk driving in addition to the assault. Isabel started crying harder when they put the handcuffs on her and she kept saying that I was ruining her life and that this would destroy her wedding completely. She said that if she gets convicted of assault and drunk driving, Alan will definitely leave her and she'll lose her teaching job. The officers told her that she should have thought about that before she decided to drink and drive and assault someone. After the police left with Isabel, I went upstairs to check on Jacob.

He was in his room crying and he asked me, why Isabel hates him so much and why she thinks he doesn't belong in our family. I sat with Jacob for over an hour explaining that Isabel has serious problems and that her opinions about adoption are wrong and hurtful. I didn't sleep at all last night because I kept thinking about Isabel coming into my house drunk and attacking both me and Jacob. I realized that Isabel's behavior has escalated way beyond just making hurtful comments about adoption. She's now willing to come to my house drunk and physically assault me because I won't give her money for her wedding. This morning my parents called me screaming about Isabel being arrested and demanding that I dropped the charges.

My mom said that Isabel's life is going to be completely destroyed if she gets convicted and that I need to fix this situation. I told my parents that Isabel came to my house uninvited, attacked my son verbally, and then physically assaulted me when I told her to leave. I said that Isabel made the choice to drive drunk to my house and hit me and that I'm not responsible for the consequences of her actions. My parents said that Isabel is family and that I should be willing to forgive her instead of sending her to jail. My mom said that if Isabel gets convicted, she'll lose her teaching job and her relationship with Allen will be over. She said that Isabel's whole life will be ruined because of one night when she made bad decisions while drinking. I told my mom that Isabel

has been making bad decisions for weeks now and that last night was just the culmination of her refusal to take responsibility for her behavior. My parents are demanding that I call the prosecutor and ask them to drop the charges against Isabel. They said that Isabel has learned her lesson and that she'll never do anything like this again. I told my parents that I'm done protecting Isabelle from the consequences of her actions and that she needs to face what she's done. I said that Isabel has shown me exactly who she is and that I don't want someone like that in my life or in Jacob's life. After talking to my parents, I realized that they're never going to hold Isabel accountable for her behavior and that they're always going to blame me for not enabling her. They think that Isabel's wedding stress justifies her attacking my son and assaulting me and that I should just forgive her and move on.

I've decided that I'm going completely no contact with Isabel and I'm seriously considering getting a restraining. order to keep her away from me and Jacob. Isabel has shown that she's willing to escalate to physical violence when she doesn't get what she wants and I don't feel safe having her around my son. I'm also limiting my contact with my parents and my brother because they've made it clear that they prioritize Isabel's feelings over Jacob's safety and well-being. They think that Isabel's comments about adoption are just a difference of opinion and that I should tolerate having my son called trash as long as it keeps family peace.