Reddit Stories - SIBLING slept with my partner during UNIVERSITY so I EXCLUDED them from my

Episode Date: November 23, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #familydrama #betrayal #universitylife #consequencesSummary: My SIBLING slept with my partner during UNIVERSITY, so I EXCLUDED them from my life. It was a painful decision, but necessary for my own well-being and peace of mind.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, siblingbetrayal, familyconflict, relationshipissues, universitydrama, emotionalpain, personalboundaries, forgiveness, movingon, selfcare, mentalhealth, trustissues, confrontation, decisionmaking, healingprocess, supportnetworkBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Siblings slept with my partner during university so I excluded them from my life, but when I tied the knot, they requested to attend, and my parent warned of not attending. My wedding if I don't invite her. When Daniel proposed to me, I felt like my life had finally hit a stride. We'd been together for four years, and he's everything I ever wanted in a partner, supportive, kind, patient, and funny. Our relationship felt like a fresh start for me after some rocky years with family and

trust issues. So, when we started planning our wedding, I was determined to make it a day of joy, love, and, most importantly, peace. Little did I know that my mom had other plans. I come from a complicated family. It's not dysfunctional in an obvious, screaming matches at Thanksgiving kind of way, but more in the we sweep everything under the rugway. My mom is the kind of person who hates conflict so much that she ends up creating it by trying to force everyone to get along. She'll guilt trip, cry, and manipulate, all in the name of keeping the peace. And this whole situation started because of my older sister, Sarah. Sarah and I were close when we were younger, but everything changed during my junior year of college. I was dating this guy,

Derek. He was my first real boyfriend, the kind of guy I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. We dated for three years and were even talking about getting engaged after I graduated. I was young and naive, and I trusted him completely. That trust was shattered when I found out Sarah had been sleeping with him behind my back. For how long? I have no idea, but it wasn't just a one-time mistake. It was a full-blown affair. The worst part wasn't even the betrayal itself.

It was Sarah's reaction when I confronted her. She didn't deny it. She didn't apologize. She just shrugged and said something like, well, if he cheated on you, maybe you weren't enough for him. I'll never forget those words. I cut her out of my life that day, and we haven't spoken since. Derek and I broke up, of course, but the damage Sarah did to my trust and self-esteem lasted much longer.

My mom, on the other hand, saw it differently. She treated the whole thing like it was some petty sisterly spat, as if Sarah and I had had just fought over a borrowed sweater or something. Men make mistakes, she'd say. Sisters shouldn't hold grudges. I tried to explain to her how deeply it hurt me, but she just brushed it off, saying I was overreacting and that family is forever. Over time, I realized she was never going to take my side, so I stopped talking about it. I focused on building my own life, far away from Sarah. Fast forward to now. Daniel and I were in the middle of planning our wedding, and I was so excited to finally celebrate this milestone with the people who genuinely

cared about us. We were keeping the guest list small around 80 people and I had no intention of inviting Sarah. She wasn't part of my life, and I wasn't about to let her ruin this special day for me. But as soon as my mom found out about the engagement, she started pushing. Are you going to invite Sarah? She asked, as if it was a given. When I said no, her reaction was immediate. She gasped, looked at me like I just told her I was canceling Christmas and said, You can't do that. She's your sister. I tried to calmly explain my reasons, but she wasn't having it. She started with the usual guilt tripping, saying things like, how do you think this will make the family look? And do you really want to create more drama by leaving her out?

The irony of that last statement wasn't lost on me. I told her I wasn't going to change my mind, but she didn't back down. Over the next few weeks, the calls and texts came non-stop. She even roped in a couple of aunts and cousins to try to convince me. They'd send me passive-aggressive messages like, it would mean so much to Grandma to see the whole family together, or, you don't want to regret this later in life. The final straw was when Mom threatened not to come to the wedding

if I didn't invite Sarah. She framed it as her not wanting to take sides, but it was clear she was trying to manipulate me. It hurt more than I expected. I love my mom, even though she drives me crazy sometimes, and the thought of her not being there broke my heart. But at the same time, I couldn't let her bully me into doing something that would ruin my day. Daniel was incredibly supportive through all of this.

He told me it was my decision, and that if my mom couldn't respect my boundaries, that was on her, not me. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I told Mom I'd think about inviting Sarah. just to get her off my back for a little while. But instead of sending Sarah an invitation, I sent her a letter. I laid everything out as clearly and honestly as I could. I told her how deeply her betrayal hurt me

and how it had affected my ability to trust people. I explained that my wedding day was about celebrating love, trust, and happiness, and that having her there would only bring back painful memories. I also made it clear that this wasn't about holding a grudge it was about protecting my peace. I told her I didn't hate her, but I also didn't feel close to her, and I didn't see the point in pretending otherwise for the sake of appearances. Sarah didn't take it well. She sent me a series of angry texts, accusing me of being petty and immature.

She said I was making the family choose sides and that I was letting an old mistake ruin our relationship. Mom, of course, took Sarah's side. She called me crying, saying Sarah was devastated and that I was tearing the family apart. She even said something like, what kind of person excludes their own sister from their wedding? At that point, I was emotionally drained. I told Mom I wasn't going to argue about it anymore and that my decision was final. She didn't like that answer and kept trying to guilt me, but I stopped responding.

It wasn't worth the stress. The wedding day came, and honestly, it was perfect. Sarah wasn't there, and while Mom gave me the cold shoulder for most of the day, I didn't let it ruin anything. I was surrounded by people who loved and supported me, and for the first time in a long time, I felt at peace. Daniel and I had an amazing time, and looking back, I wouldn't have done anything differently.

Now that the wedding is over, the fallout has started. Sarah has been posting vague, passive-aggressive things on social media about family betrayal and how some people never move on. Mom keeps sending me long texts about how disappointed she is in me, and how she's never seen Sarah this upset before. A few relatives have even reached out to tell me they think I made the wrong decision. Part of me feels guilty, but another part of me knows I did what was best for my own mental

health. I've spent years trying to rebuild my self-esteem and trust after what Sarah did, and I wasn't about to let her ruin one of the most important days of my life. But now I can't help wondering, am I wrong? Should I have just invited her to avoid all this drama? Was it selfish to put my own feelings first, even if it meant upsetting my family? Update 1, it's been a few days since I posted, and I've been blown away by the responses. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and offer your thoughts.

I've read every comment, and honestly, it's been really eye-opening. Some of you shared similar experiences, and it helped me feel a little less alone in all this. For those who think I was too harsh, I understand your purpose. perspective too. It's complicated, and I appreciate the input. Since the wedding, things have continued to simmer, and honestly, I feel like I'm caught in a tug of war. My mom hasn't let up. If anything, she's doubled down on her disappointment. I got a long email from her two days ago, and it was, a lot. She said she's still heartbroken about the whole situation and kept emphasizing how I've caused a rift in the family. The email was peppered with lines like,

don't even recognize you anymore, and this isn't the daughter I raised. She also brought up Sarah's feelings again, saying how much I've hurt her and how Sarah is apparently devastated that I shut her out. The tone of the email was a mix of guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation. She kept mentioning how she was losing sleep over the whole thing and how she's been getting calls from extended family members who are concerned about my behavior. Honestly, it felt like she was trying to paint me as some kind of villain who's intentionally out to hurt Sarah and the family. That couldn't be further from the truth. After reading it, I just sat there staring at my laptop for a while, trying to decide how to respond. Part of me wanted to fire back and defend

myself, but another part of me knew it wouldn't do any good. My mom has always been this way once she gets an idea in her head, there's no changing her mind. I decided to keep it short and calm. I wrote back and said that I was sorry she felt that way, but I stood by my decision. I reminded her that this wasn't about being cruel or vindictive. It was about setting boundaries and protecting my mental health. I told her that I loved her but couldn't keep rehashing the same argument. I thought that would be the end of it for now, but I was wrong. Mom forwarded my email to Sarah.

How do I know? Because Sarah responded to me directly with another lengthy email, and it was even worse than moms. Sarah called me bitter and immature and said I was clinging to the past instead of trying to move forward. She accused me of being obsessed with playing the victim and said I was destroying the family dynamic for no reason. She also claimed I was being unfair to her because, according to her, Derek was the real villain in all this, not her. That part really got to me. Yes, Derek was a liar and a cheater, but Sarah knew exactly what she was doing.

She wasn't some innocent bystander who got caught up in his web of lies. She made a choice to betray me, and she's never once taken accountability for it. Even now, instead of apologizing or acknowledging the hurt she caused, she's trying to make me feel guilty for not letting her sweep it under the rug. I didn't respond to Sarah's email. I just couldn't. I've spent years trying to move on from what happened, and engaging with her now feels like reopening an old wound. But it's clear she's not letting this go anytime soon. Yesterday, she posted another cryptic message on Facebook about how people show their true colors when they think they've won. A few of our mutual relatives commented things like,

You're better off without toxic people, and some folks just can't handle a strong woman. It's obvious who they're referring to, and it's exhausting. Meanwhile, my mom has been playing both sides, as usual. She's still talking to me, but our conversations are tense and uncomfortable. She keeps bringing up Sarah in little ways, like, I had coffee with Sarah yesterday. and she's really struggling, or, I just wish you could see how much this is hurting her. It's like she's trying to guilt me into reaching out, but I'm not taking the bait. I've been polite but firm, reminding her that I'm not ready to reconcile and that she needs

to respect my boundaries. Whether she will or not remains to be seen. Daniel has been a rock through all of this. He's encouraged me to focus on our new life together and not let the drama overshadow our happiness. He even suggested we take a sure of short trip to get away from everything for a while, and honestly, I think I'm going to take him up on that. A little distance from the family chaos might be exactly what I need right now. One of the hardest parts about this situation is the mixed reactions from extended family. Some people have reached out privately to support me, saying they understand why I made the decision I did and that I shouldn't feel guilty.

Others have taken Sarah's side, either directly or indirectly, by sharing those passive-aggressive social media posts or making snide comments during family group chats. It feels like everyone has an opinion about something that really is in their business. The most surprising part of all this is how little I actually miss Sarah. You'd think that after years of estrangement, a big event like a wedding would stir up some kind of longing to reconnect, but it hasn't. If anything, this whole ordeal has just confirmed that I made the right choice in cutting her out of my life. She's shown me time and time again that she's not willing to take responsibility for her actions or respect my feelings, and I'm done trying to force a relationship with someone who doesn't care about the damage they've

caused. That said, I can't pretend this hasn't been emotionally draining. I'm tired of feeling like I have to justify my decisions to everyone around me. I'm tired of being painted as the bad guy just because I chose to prioritize my own happiness and well-being. And I'm tired of my mom treating Sarah's feelings like they matter more than mine. At this point, I'm not even sure how to move forward with her. I don't want to cut her off entirely, but if she keeps pushing, I might not have a choice. So here's where I'm at now. I'm standing firm in my decision, but the backlash has been harder to deal with than I expected.

I'm trying to focus on the positive my marriage, my supportive friends, and the life Daniel and I are building together but the family drama is still a dark cloud hanging over everything. Update 2, it's been a whirlwind since my last update. I thought things might settle down after a few days, but instead, they've escalated in ways I didn't expect. Honestly, I feel like I'm in the middle of some soap opera I didn't sign up for. At this point, I'm just trying to hold onto my sanity while navigating the chaos. The first thing that happened was a surprise package from Sarah. I wasn't expecting it, so when I saw her name on the return label, my stomach dropped. For a second, I debated not even opening it, but curiosity got the better of me.

Inside was a handwritten letter and a small photo album. The letter was long several pages and, to my surprise, it wasn't angry. Instead, it was this strange mix of an apology and a justification. She started by saying she was sorry for how things had turned out between us and that she regretted how much pain she'd caused me. But then she pivoted to explaining her side of things, saying she was in a dark place at the time of the affair and didn't fully understand the consequences of her actions. She wrote about how she felt like she'd always been in my shadow growing up and how Derek had given her the attention she craved. It was almost like she was trying to make me feel sorry for her. The letter ended with her saying she hoped

we could put the past behind us and start fresh. The photo album was even stranger. It was filled with pictures of us from when we were kids' holidays, birthdays, random moments. Some of them made me smile, but most of them just made me sad. It felt like Sarah was trying to remind me of the bond we used to have, but instead, it just highlighted how far apart we've grown. I don't know if it was an olive branch or another attempt at manipulation, but either way, it left me feeling conflicted. I showed the letter to Daniel, and he was cautious about the whole thing. He reminded me that while it's good to acknowledge Sarah's feelings, I don't owe her anything, especially if I'm not ready to reconcile. He suggested I take some time to process it before deciding

whether to respond, which was solid advice. For now, the letter and the album are tucked away in a drawer. I'm not sure what to do with them yet. While I was still mulling over Sarah's package, things took another turn. My mom decided to escalate her campaign in the most dramatic way possible. She called a family intervention. I wish I were kidding. She sent out a group text to me, Sarah, and a handful of relatives, saying she wanted us to all meet at her house to talk things out like adults. I didn't even know how to respond. The idea of sitting in a room with Sarah and a bunch of people who've already picked sides felt like walking into an ambush. When I told Mom I wouldn't be attending, she lost it.

She called me immediately, crying and begging me to reconsider. She kept saying things like, we're a family, and families don't turn their backs on each other. I tried to explain, again, that I wasn't ready to have that kind of conversation and that forcing it would only make things worse. But she wouldn't listen. She said she was doing this for my own good and that I needed to stop being so stubborn. In the end, I didn't go. I spent that afternoon with Daniel instead, trying to distract myself. But the fallout from skipping the intervention was brutal.

Mom called me afterward to let me know, in no uncertain terms, how disappointed she was in me. She said everyone else showed up, even Sarah, and that my absence was proof that I was the one keeping the family divided. She accused me of being selfish and unwilling to move on, and she hung up on me before I could even respond. If that wasn't bad enough, I started getting messages from some of the relatives who attended. One of my cousins texted me saying, you should have been there it was really healing for Sarah. Another aunt sent me a long message about how I was being stubborn and cruel for refusing to give Sarah a chance to apologize in person. Apparently,

Sarah cried during the meeting and talked about how much she missed me and wanted to make things right. Some of the family is now acting like she's the victim, and I'm the heartless one for not letting her back into my life. I can't even describe how frustrating this all is. It's like no one cares about how I feel or what I've been through. They're so focused on this picture-perfect idea of family unity that they're willing to sweep everything under the rug, no matter how deep the betrayal. I've been labeled the villain for simply standing up for myself, and it's exhausting. At this point, I feel like I'm losing my relationship with my mom entirely. She's gone from being disappointed to outright cold. She barely talks to me anymore, and when she does, it's clipped

and passive-aggressive. She even skipped a lunch date we had planned last week, claiming she wasn't feeling well, but I know it was because she's upset with me. It hurts, but I'm trying to remind myself that her behavior is a reflection of her own issues, not mine. The one silver lining in all of this has been the support from a few close friends and, of course, Daniel. One of my best friends came over the other night with wine and snacks, and we spent hours just talking. She reminded me that I'm not crazy or unreasonable for setting boundaries and that it's okay to prioritize my mental health. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Still, I can't shake the guilt entirely. Part of me wonders if I'm being too rigid or if I should at least try to mend

things for my mom's sake. But then I think about how much effort I've put into healing over the years and how much it would set me back to let Sarah back into my life without a genuine apology and accountability from her. And honestly, I don't think she's capable of that. So, here I am, caught in the middle of a storm I didn't ask for. I'm standing firm in my decision, but the pressure is relentless. My mom is distant, Sarah is playing the victim, and some of the family is siding with her. It's like I'm constantly defending myself for choosing peace over chaos, and it's exhausting. I keep asking myself if I'm doing the right thing, but deep down, I know I am. Now I'm wondering how to move forward.

Should I write Sarah back and try to explain myself again, or would that just open the door to more manipulation? And what about my mom? Is there a way to salvage our relationship without compromising my boundaries, or is it a lost cause at this point? I'm trying so hard to focus on my new life with Daniel, but the weight of all this family drama is hard to ignore. Thanks again for sticking with me through all of this it helps more than you know to have a place to share and get feedback. Update 3, it's been about a week

since everything spiraled, and I finally feel like I can breathe again. So much has happened, and while I'm not proud of how messy things got, I'm relieved it's over. This will probably be my last update because I've made a decision that I know is final. I've chosen my piece, and I'm not looking back. After the family intervention and Sarah's letter, I tried to keep my distance. I focused on work, spent time with Daniel,

and avoided my phone as much as possible. But as you can imagine, the drama didn't stop just because I ignored it. My mom kept calling and texting, insisting that I at least hear Sarah out. She even offered to have a smaller sit down with just the three of us, saying she was worried the larger intervention

had been too overwhelming for me. I refused again, politely but firmly, and thought that would be the end of it. Spoiler alert, it wasn't. Last weekend, Daniel and I hosted a small dinner with a few close friends. It was supposed to be a low-key, fun night good food, good company, and no drama. Everything was going great until my phone buzzed with a notification from Facebook. I normally wouldn't check my phone during dinner, but something told me to look, and I'm glad I did. Sarah had made another post, and this one was the most targeted yet.

She wrote something along the lines of, it's sad when people can't move on and keep holding grudges over the past. At some point, you have to ask yourself if they're just jealous or still hung up on what they lost. I felt my stomach drop. There was no doubt in my mind that she was talking about me, and the insinuation that I was still hung up on Derek made my blood boil. First of all, Derek is the last person on earth I'd ever want to be with again. Second, Sarah's attempt to spin this narrative of me being jealous or bitter was so ridiculous it was almost laughable. What really got me was the fact that she was escalating things publicly, dragging our dirty laundry out for the world to see. I showed the post to Daniel,

who immediately suggested I block her and be done with it. He was right, of course, but something inside me snapped. I was tired of Sarah trying to control the narrative, tired of my mom enabling her, and tired of being made to look like the villain when all I'd done was protect myself. For the first time in years, I decided to confront Sarah directly. The next day, I called my mom and told her I'd meet with her and Sarah not to reconcile, but to set the record straight. She was thrilled, thinking this was my way of mending fences, and eagerly set it up at her house. I didn't bother correcting her. My goal wasn't to fix anything. It was to finally say my peace and be done with it. When I arrived, the tension in the air was thick. My mom greeted me with her usual mix of

warmth and nervous energy, clearly hoping to play peacemaker. Sarah, on the other hand, looked smug, like she thought she'd already won. She didn't even wait for me to sit down before launching into her usual spiel about how much she missed me and how family is too important to let one mistake ruin everything. I let her talk, biting my tongue until she finally paused, clearly expecting me to agree or apologize. Instead, I calmly asked her about the post. She didn't even try to deny it. Instead, she doubled down, saying it was just a general observation and that if I felt attacked, maybe it was because the post hit too close to home. She accused me of being obsessed with the past and suggested that my anger was less about her

betrayal and more about me being unable to let go of Derek. That's when I lost it. I told her, in no uncertain terms, that this had nothing to do with Derek and everything to do with her complete lack of accountability. I reminded her that she was the one who made the choice to sleep with my boyfriend, knowing full well what it would do to me, and that she'd never once given me a real apology. Instead, she'd spent years painting herself as the victim and using our family to guilt me into forgiving her. I told her I wasn't. I told her I wasn't. I was a interested in reconciling with someone who couldn't even admit they were wrong, let alone take steps to make amends. Sarah tried to interrupt, but I wasn't finished. I turned to my mom

and told her I was done with the constant guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation. I said I loved her, but her refusal to respect my boundaries had pushed me to a breaking point. I made it clear that I wasn't cutting her off entirely, but I needed space and wouldn't be engaging with any more family interventions or forced reconciliation attempts. If she wanted a relationship with me, she'd have to accept that Sarah was not part of my life. At this point, Sarah started crying big, dramatic tears that I'm sure were meant to make me feel guilty. She kept saying things like, I've tried so hard to make things right, and, I don't understand why you hate me so much. But the tears didn't move me. They felt performative, like yet another attempt to manipulate the

situation and turn it in her favor. When it became clear that I wasn't going to budge, Sarah's demeanor shifted. She got defensive, accusing me of being cold-hearted and unwilling to forgive. She even threw in a snide comment about how it must be nice to feel so perfect all the time. At that point, I just laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh, it was the kind of laugh you let out when you realize there's no point in arguing with someone who refuses to see reality. I stood up, told them both that I was done and walked out. Driving home, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. For years, I'd carried the weight of this drama, constantly questioning whether I was doing the right thing and whether I owed Sarah or my mom something more. But in that

moment, I knew I didn't. I had tried to explain myself, tried to set boundaries, and tried to move forward, but they weren't willing to meet me halfway. And that wasn't my fault. Since then, Sarah on every platform and told my mom I'd be taking a break from family events for the foreseeable future. I don't know if she'll respect that boundary, but I'm prepared to enforce it if she doesn't. Daniel has been my rock through all of this, reminding me that I have every right to protect my peace and that I'm not a bad person for walking away from toxic relationships. The irony is that I don't even feel angry anymore, just relieved. For the first time in years, I feel like I can focus on my own life without the constant shadow of family drama hanging over

me. I have an amazing husband, a supportive group of friends, and a future full of possibilities. Letting go of Sarah and the part of my family that refuses to respect me feels like shedding a heavy weight I've carried for far too long. To everyone who's followed this journey and offered advice, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your comments and insights helped me see things clearly and gave me the courage to stand up for myself. I don't know where things will go from here with my family, but for now, I'm at peace with my decision. And that, to me, is worth everything.

Am I sad that it had to end this way? A little. But mostly, I'm just relieved to be done with the drama. Life is too short to spend it tied to people who only bring you pain, no matter how much they claim to love you. If there's one thing I've learned through all of this, it's that choosing yourself isn't selfish, it's necessary. Here's to moving forward.