Reddit Stories - Sibling who TORMENTED me during my ACADEMIC years and took away my ROMANTIC

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #siblings #torment #academiclife #romanticlife #familydramaSummary: My sibling tormented me during my academic years, causing me to lose my romantic life. The constant struggle and emotional turmoil have left a lasting impact on me, shaping my relationships and self-esteem.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, siblings, torment, academiclife, romanticlife, familydrama, siblingrivalry, childhoodtrauma, emotionalabuse, relationshipissues, selfesteem, mentalhealth, copingmechanisms, personalgrowth, overcomingchallenges, supportsystemBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling who tormented me during my academic years and took away my romantic partner requires a kidney transplant, prompting my relatives to urge me to undergo testing. Eventually, I complied with their wishes and went for the evaluation. Get them off my back. I found out my dad isn't actually my biological father. My sister Alicia had been struggling with kidney failure for more than six months now. At first she was managing okay, she was going through treatments and holding on

waiting for a kidney transplant, but things have taken a turn for the worst recently her health has declined and now the doctors say she needs a kidney transplant right away because of this. My mom is asking me to get tested to see if I might be a match for Alicia so I could donate one of my kidneys to her, but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I have a lot of mixed emotions about this the thing is, Alicia and I don't have a close relationship actually. We haven't had any relationship at all for the past few years growing up, she made my life really hard. It felt like she went out of her way to make me miserable back in school. I was often bullied by other kids I was small for my age, kind of nerdy,

and I struggled with my weight. All of this made me an easy target for the bullies they used to tease me about how I looked, called me mean names, and even took my lunch money regularly there were even a couple of times when things got physical and I ended up getting beaten up that's when my teacher stepped in and told my parents what was going on. My parents thought Alicia could help me out, you see, Alicia is just one year older than me. And we went to the same school so she was there during all those tough years when I was bullied but instead of standing up for me or trying to help, she didn't do anything to make things better. In fact, she made things worse she actually joined in with my bullies and was on their side Alicia would share personal

details about me with them. Like what I wore at home or how I didn't have many friends she made sure they had all the ammunition they needed to make me feel even smaller than I already did sometimes she would team up with my bullies, and together they would gang up on me during lunchtime they'd laugh at me, mock me, and keep pushing until I was in tears. I felt completely alone I couldn't understand why my own sister, someone who should have had my back, was so cruel when I told our parents how Alicia was involved with bullying me. She acted all innocent she told them that I was lying and that I must be confused or overreacting despite my complaints. My parents believed her they told me to stop blaming her and focus on ignoring the real bullies

instead it was so frustrating because despite my own sister actually bullying me, no one believed me. No one saw what I was going through. When I finally graduated and went to college I thought my life would improve without my bullies around any longer I was hopeful I could start over, and for a while, I did. College felt like a fresh start I even met someone special, my first boyfriend, well he was charming and kind, and I felt over the moon about him I brought him home to meet my family, and my parents liked him too, but Alicia's reaction was different instead of just being polite. Alicia seemed overly excited to meet him throughout dinner.

She constantly flirted with my boyfriend in a way that even made me uncomfortable she made inappropriate comments about his looks, pointing out his big biceps. Or strong chest like it was a joke at first, I tried to brush it off, thinking maybe she didn't realize how she was acting but as it went on, it became clear she didn't care she was clearly into my boyfriend and was trying to get his attention to make matters worse. Later on I found out that Alicia had tracked down well on social media without telling me and sent him messages saying she wanted to meet up with him. She did this behind my back when I found out about it. I confronted Will immediately I fully expected him to block her

and stop any kind of contact with her. He reassured me that he had done just that, and I believed him. I trusted him, but as time went on, I started noticing that he became very distant and secretive with me what I didn't know at the time was that Well hadn't blocked Alicia at all instead. He had started meeting up with my sister in secret. They weren't just chatting. They were making out regularly I had no clue about any of this until one of my close friends from college happened to see them together she spotted Will with Alicia in his car, acting like a couple, and immediately came to tell me what she'd seen hearing the truth was like a punch to the gut for months. I had been feeling like something was wrong I couldn't explain it,

but I had this gut feeling that Well wasn't being honest with me whenever I brought it up, though. He would gaslight me. He'd tell me I was crazy for being suspicious and that I was imagining things he made me feel like I was the one ruining our relationship with my doubts, but once my friend confirmed everything, I realized my instincts had been right all along what had been cheating on me, and the part that hurt the most, of all the people he could have betrayed me with, it was my own sister, as you can imagine. When I confronted Alicia, things exploded we had a massive fight where I told her how she had. Basically crossed the line by getting involved with Will-like, how could she be this desperate to get involved with a guy I was seeing? But Alicia

showed no remorse, none she doubled down and acted proud of what she had done she actually bragged about sleeping with Will before me, as if it was some sort of achievement to her there was no apology from her side. This is why I brought the issue to our parents I told them everything, how devastated I was, how deeply Alicia had hurt me, and how this wasn't just about Will but about her betrayal as my sister my dad was horrified and clearly upset by what he heard. But my mom's reaction was different she told me she didn't believe me and insisted that they needed to talk to Alicia and hear the entire story before deciding who to support her response left me stunned what entire story could there possibly be? The facts were clear. My sister had slept

with my boyfriend what more did they need to know? I felt completely unsupported and invalidated, as if my feelings and pain didn't matter well, even after my mom talked to Alicia. She supported my sister over me. She told me that Alicia claimed to be in love with Will and that the only reason she had done what she did was because she felt Will was the one for her I couldn't believe what I was hearing I scoffed and told my mom how ridiculous that excuse sounded how could Alicia even justify her actions this way. But my mom's response shocked me even more instead of acknowledging my pain, she said, well, maybe this guy wasn't meant for you. Maybe he and your sister would be happier with each other. I mean, he was too good looking for you anyway next time. Settle for someone who's

more on your level. Then maybe he won't cheat on you. I was completely taken aback. It wasn't just that she was supporting Alicia. It felt like she was outright blaming me for being cheated on, as if I had brought this on myself. Simply because I had dared to date someone attractive, was she really saying that I didn't deserve to be with someone handsome? That I should have settled for someone less good looking to avoid being hurt? Up until that moment, I always kind of knew that my mom favored Alicia more. There were little things over the years that hinted at it. Alicia getting more praise, more attention, more understanding, but I had always convinced myself that my mom still loved me in her own way deep down. I had held on to the hope that I wasn't completely overlooked by her but

after that conversation. It was like a switch flipped I realized how wrong I'd been my mom's words made it clear that she loved my sister. More than me my dad, to his credit, did scold Alicia a little for what she had done, but it wasn't enough to make a real difference despite his initial anger. He still sided with my sister in the end it felt like both my parents were more willing to excuse Alicia's betrayal than to stand up for me their reactions made me feel small, unimportant, and completely unsupported. So after everything that happened, I made a decision to cut off all three of them, Alicia, my mom, and my dad I told my parents that Alicia could have my ex because in my eyes, they were both trash and deserved to be with each other. I also made it clear to my parents that

because they had cited with Alicia, they had shown me exactly how little they valued me their actions and words made it impossible for me to trust them or feel loved by them anymore. I told them I was done with all of them my parents did try to argue and change my mind, but it was weak and unconvincing there was no real fight from them to keep me. In their lives, and that just confirmed my decision even more since then, I've kept my distance from my family I barely talked to any of them except for the occasional updates I hear from distant relatives I still keep in touch with a few years ago. I had heard through the grapevine that Alicia had married my ex yes. The very same ex she had stolen from me I felt disgusted that she was still with that guy

and hadn't managed to find someone better for herself it also confirmed that I had made the right choice in cutting ties with someone who had caused me so much pain anyway. Now I have my own life I'm married to a wonderful husband and we've built a stable, happy life together. I also have a great job that I'm proud of we're content and I don't even think about my family anymore so you can imagine my surprise when earlier this week I got a short email from my mom she asked me to give her a call because it was a family emergency I hesitated at first but eventually decided to call her back when I did. I found out what the emergency was. It was about my sister and her ongoing health condition incidentally. I had already heard about Alicia's kidney failure from some of our

relatives. So the news itself wasn't exactly shocking. What did surprise me, though, was my mom's request. She asked me if I would consider getting tested to see if I could be a potential kidney match for Alicia. I told my mom that I would think about it and let her know honestly. I don't want to, but here's the real issue. My paternal grandparents have gotten involved. They know about our family situation and despite me cutting off my parents my grandparents have always been in my life and supported me. My grandparents believe there's no harm in me getting tested. They say that if I'm not a match then there's no issue but if I am a match then I can take my time and decide whether or not I want to donate my kidney to my sister. Clearly they want to help but I feel really

uneasy about the whole situation I'm scared that if I'm a match my family will pressure me even more to go through with the kidney donation I don't want to feel forced or guilty about. Doing something I'm not sure about my grandparents mean the world to me and I don't want to risk losing their support and love because of this difficult decision. So Reddit am I the asshole if I decide to not get tested update one my mom reached out to me again asking me to get tested to see if I could help my sister. This wasn't the first time she'd brought it up. But this time I felt like I couldn't keep brushing it off or giving her vague answers. I decided to be completely honest. So I told her outright that I wasn't willing to do it. I explained I didn't want to be involved with my sister at all

and that was my final decision I thought being direct would make her back off or at least give her a clear picture of where I stood but instead of understanding or respecting my feelings she pushed even harder she told me she expected me to step up and help my sister no matter how I felt about her in her eyes. It didn't matter what I thought I wanted my sister deserved a chance. To live and apparently I was the one who had to give it to her then she said something that really stung. She told me my life isn't worth much anyway I couldn't believe she actually said that so I asked her to explain what she meant her response was even more hurtful she told me that Alicia's life is more valuable than mine because Alicia has a child and I don't

she made it clear that she believed Alicia's role as a mother made her inherently more important than me my mom seemed to think that because I didn't have kids my life wasn't as meaningful and that it was therefore my duty to do whatever I could to help Alicia survive for the sake of her child and her mind my worth wasn't even a consideration. It was all about Alicia and what she needed as if dealing with my mom wasn't hard enough. My dad has also reached out to me, he begged me to get tested and told me to do this for him, he argued that Alicia might die without a transplant and warned that I could regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't at least find out if I was a match. His words made it clear that he was putting

the weight of Alicia's survival and my future feelings on my shoulders as if I had the power to change everything and would be making a terrible mistake by refusing update too I got tested despite my best. Judgment, however, before you all come for me in the comments. I have something very interesting to share despite all my reservations and the emotional weight of the situation. I went ahead and got myself tested just to get everybody off my back. A part of me felt like I was doing it for my grandparents. They've always been there for me and I didn't want to let them down, but deep down I also wanted some clarity hoping that the test results would help settle things one way or another the results came back and they revealed two shocking truths.

First, I wasn't a match for my sister that in itself was a relief I wouldn't have to make the agonizing decision of whether to donate my kidney to someone who had caused me so much pain it felt like I had, been let off the hook for something that had been. Weighing heavily on me, but the second revelation was something I could never have prepared for my genetic markers didn't match my father's. The results made it clear the man I had called dad my whole life wasn't actually my biological father when I first read the results. I felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me I was already dealing with the emotional weight of my family's demands, but now this completely unexpected bombshell had been dropped on me. It explained so

much all the times I felt like an outsider in my own family, but it was also heartbreaking the news sent shockwaves through the family sparking a whole new level of drama that my mom clearly hadn't anticipated my dad was devastated. He had no idea that I wasn't his biological child and the betrayal hit him hard. He's the kind of man who always valued family above all else and finding out that my mom had kept such a huge secret from him was a crushing blow. I could see the herd in his eyes despite everything he's the one who raised me the one who gave me his name and identity as his daughter only to find out that I don't even belong to him. My mom, on the other hand, was caught completely off guard she had spent so much time

pressuring me to help Alicia that she clearly hadn't considered the possibility of this coming to light now she's scrambling to explain herself and manage the fallout for me. The discovery feels like both a betrayal and a strange kind of clarity it explains a lot about how I've been treated over the years, but it also raises so many questions who is my biological father. Why did my mom hide this from me and my dad for so long? Where do I go from here? Did my mom keep this secret from him too? Could my real father be out there living his life unaware that he has a daughter or did he know and simply choose to stay away? These questions have been racing through my mind nonstop and they only add to the chaos of everything

else that's happening right now my paternal grandparents have also found out about the test results and they're furious they've always loved me as their granddaughter and this news has shaken them deeply their demanding answers from my mom just like my dad is but instead of facing the situation head on my mom has completely shut down she's refusing to. Talk to anyone about it and when I confronted her myself hoping for some clarity she had the audacity to claim that the test results were wrong. Can you believe her audacity? After everything she was still trying to deny the undeniable I told her there was no way the results could be wrong, but she doubled down insisting that I should pretend like this never happened. Her response left me speechless. She claimed

to be just as shocked as I was after finding out the truth, but her tone made it clear she was trying to sweep everything under the rug, the audacity of her words stung more than I can put into words how could she expect me to act like this life-altering? Discovery was nothing? How could she believe she could bury the truth and avoid the consequences of her actions? It feels like she's more concerned with maintaining her image and avoiding accountability than she is with the pain she's caused pain to my dad, my grandparents, and me her refusal to take responsibility her insistence that this is all some mistake or something we should just ignore only deepens the hurt and anger I feel towards her, the revelation has turned my world upside down while I've always felt

like an outsider in my family now. I understand why, but knowing the reason doesn't make it hurt. Any less. I will update you soon after I get more information. Update 3. The situation has only gotten worse. My dad has decided to divorce my mom I never thought I'd see the day when my parents' marriage would crumble but with everything that's happened. I can't say I blame him he's devastated by the truth betrayed in ways. I can't even begin to understand his entire life with my mom the family they built has been based on lies. It's a gut-wrenching realization that this is the end of something that for him was once a foundation of trust and love as for my mom after days of pressure from my dad, my grandparents, and the rest of the family she finally

gave in and revealed the truth to all of us. I don't know if it was guilt the weight of the constant questioning, or just the inevitable truth catching up with her but she finally spoke up turns out that just before she got pregnant with me. She had an affair with her personal trainer she had been seeing him behind my dad's back. The affair only lasted a few weeks my mom ended it convinced no one would ever find out. But then when she got pregnant with me, she never thought to question whether I was truly my dad's child. She simply assumed I was after I was born. She never bothered to check there were no tests, no questions, just an assumption that everything was fine. My mom thought that I was her and my dad's child and so she moved on with her

life, but the truth was I wasn't my entire life all the moments I thought to find. My relationship with her and with my dad now feel like they've been built on a lie. She never even questioned the possibility that I wasn't my dad's child and instead of owning up to her mistake she buried it for decades hoping it would never come to light. It's honestly surreal how everything has unfolded my mom was the one who pushed me to get tested for my sister and now everything has come crashing down around her. She brought this misfortune. On herself her lies her affair, her secrecy if she hadn't insisted I get tested.

if she hadn't pushed for me to help Alicia, none of this would have come to light, but I guess God wanted me to find out the truth about this. I am glad that I got tested now Mom is facing the fallout from all of it and honestly she deserves it. My dad is heartbroken. My grandparents are furious with Mom. They all feel betrayed and they want nothing to do with her anymore,

even my maternal grandparents who have always had a more distant relationship with our ashamed of what my mom did they can't believe she kept such a massive secret hidden from all of us for all these years since Mom's confession suddenly everyone around me. who had never really cared much about me before has a lot of sympathy for me even distant relatives people I hadn't spoken to in years have reached out to check in on me it's strange almost as if they're all trying to make up for the years of indifference or avoidance but while their sympathy is nice it doesn't change the fact that my life has been completely turned upside down as for my mom she's lost everything my dad has kicked her out of the house and she's now

living in a motel she's called me a few times asking for money and other help but i just can't bring myself to offer her much I hate her so much for what she hid from me it's like the more I think about everything she's done the harder it is to show any empathy towards her now my dad is talking with a lawyer about the divorce proceedings. I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like for him he's a man who's always valued family above all else and yet here he is picking up the pieces of a life that's been destroyed by my mom's actions there is a huge possibility that because of my mom's betrayal she may not get any alimony no family no money no support. It's almost poetic justice mom reaping the consequences of her choices and while it may sound

harsh, I can't say I feel any sympathy for her at this point now coming to my sister's case. She obviously still needs a kidney my parents aren't viable candidates to donate due to their own health issues and the time frame is getting shorter for her after everything that had transpired I felt like I needed to see her with all this drama surrounding my mom's affair and the fallout within our family I wasn't sure how much time Alicia had left. I needed to go to her if only to say goodbye when I visited her. I was struck by how weak and tired she looked her condition was clearly taking a toll on her both physically and emotionally Alicia really surprised me by apologizing to me for our past

something I never expected from her. She seemed genuinely shocked by the truth of our mom's affair. We both talked about how stupid it was for mom to push me to get the test done for a moment it felt like nothing had changed between me and Alicia back. When she didn't bully me and we actually enjoyed spending time together we spoke for a little while. But I couldn't stay long Alicia urged me to meet her son and her ex who were on their way to visit. at her, but I knew that I wasn't ready to face them, especially my ex, I still needed some time to process everything. The emotions were just too much for me to handle since that conversation I feel much better about Alicia. I no longer hold any resentment for her despite our past,

despite everything that's happened. I genuinely hope that she and her family make it through this I want her to find peace and I want her to get the help she needs update for it's been three months since I last updated you on everything that's happened so much has changed first of all. My parents are officially divorced now my dad has been focusing on rebuilding his life while my mom has been trying to piece things together in her own way, though it's clear she's lost so much her family, her credibility and her sense of stability. She still lives alone and has been essentially ostracized by the rest of the family she's tried reaching out to me multiple times, but I blocked her.

I don't care what she does anymore I've come to realize that I need to move forward with my life regardless of what's happened to hers as for Alicia. The good news is that she found a kidney match everyone including myself is happy that she's finally going to get the treatment she needs. She's been through so much and I know this transplant will give her a new chance at life I don't know if we'll ever be close again. But I am just happy for her and truly hope she recovers while I've also come to. Terms with something else the fact that I will never know my biological father my mother has refused to give up his name and I no longer care initially it used to gnaw at me than not knowing the wondering who he was if he ever knew about me if my life

would have been different had he been in it. But now I've realized it doesn't matter the answers aren't coming and I've learned that it's okay to leave some questions unanswered. I can't spend my life chasing after someone who isn't part of my. Present my husband has been my rock through all of this. He supported me in ways. I never imagined possible through every emotional breakdown. He stood by my side giving me the strength. I didn't know I had slowly.

I've realized I don't need to search for my biological father to feel complete. I have a wonderful life now one that's full of love and happiness my husband, my career, and the life we're building together are everything I need I don't want to dwell on the past or let it hold me back anymore.