Reddit Stories - SIBLING'S partner wrongly blamed me for AGGRESSION and my RELATIVES abandoned me as

Episode Date: July 22, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #conflict #support #adviceSummary: SIBLING'S partner wrongly blamed me for AGGRESSION and my RELATIVES abandoned me as I sought resolution. Feeling isolated and misunderstood, I turned to online communities for guidance and perspective, hoping to find clarity and validation.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, conflict, support, advice, misunderstanding, isolation, resolution, online community, guidance, perspective, clarity, validation, blame, aggressionBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Siblings partner wrongly blamed me for aggression and my relatives abandoned me as a result. Later on, they returned to make amends when my sibling faced a dire situation. Prison I'm 28M now, but this all started when I was 21 and home from college for winter break. My younger brother Max was 19, he was 18 when he started dating her, at the time and had this girlfriend, Sia who was 17. They'd been together for like eight months, and she was always around the house. My parents loved her, they thought she was this sweet, innocent girl who was good for Max because

he'd always been kind of wild, and she seemed to calm him down or whatever. I never really paid much attention to her because, honestly, I was focused on my own stuff. I was studying and had this internship lined up for the summer, and I was just trying to get through my junior year. But whenever I was home, she'd always find out. reasons to talk to me and ask me about college and my classes. At first, I thought she was just being friendly or maybe thinking about her own college plan since she was a senior in high school. But then things got weird, and I mean really weird. Like, she'd come over when Max wasn't there and my parents were at work, and she'd hang around waiting for him even though I'd tell her he

wouldn't be back for hours. She'd sit too close to me on the couch when we were all watching TV and make these comments about how mature I was compared to Max and how college guys must be so much more interesting than high school boys. I'm not stupid. I could tell where this was going and I didn't want any part of it because, first of all, she was my brother's girlfriend, and second of all, she was still in high school, and third of all, I just wasn't interested in her like that at all. She wasn't ugly or anything, but she was just not my type, and the whole situation felt wrong on every level. So one night during that winter break, Max had gone out with his friends, and my parents were at some Christmas party. I was just chilling in the living room playing video games when Sia showed up. She said she was looking for Max, and I told her he wasn't home and wouldn't be back until late and she should probably just text him.

But instead of leaving, she came in and sat down next to me on the couch. She started doing that thing again where she was sitting way too close and talking about how she thought I was so much. much smarter than Max and how she wished she could date someone more mature. I could feel where this was heading, so I got up and said I was going to make some food and asked if she wanted anything, trying to change the subject and create some distance. But she followed me into the kitchen, and while I was getting stuff out of the fridge, she came up behind me and put her hands on my back and said something about how she'd always thought I was attractive and how she wondered what it would be like to be with someone like me instead of Max. I turned around and

stepped back and told her she needed to stop and that she was with my brother and this wasn't appropriate. That's when she really went for it. She moved closer and tried to put her arms around my neck and said that Max would never have to know and that she thought about me all the time. I could tell she was about to try to kiss me, so I grabbed her wrists and moved her hands away from me and said, no, absolutely not. This is not happening, and you need to leave right now. She got this look on her face that I'd never seen before, like angry and hurt and embarrassed all at the same time. She said I was being mean and that she knew I wanted her too and why was I being such a jerk about it. I told her again that she needed to leave and that this conversation never happened and we were never going to talk about it again.

She left, but she was crying and I felt bad about that. But I also knew I'd done the right thing. I mean, what else was I supposed to do, let her cheat on my brother with me and get a case in the process. That would have been so much worse, and I figured she'd get over it and things would go back to normal, and we'd all just pretend it never happened. Two days later, Max came home, and he was furious, like absolutely losing it. He started screaming at me about how I was a sick pervert and how could I do this to him. I had no idea what he was talking about until he said that Sia had told him everything and that she was traumatized and crying and didn't want to see anyone. I tried to tell him what really happened, but he wouldn't listen.

He just kept yelling about how I tried to force myself on his girlfriend and how she'd had to fight me off and how she was scared to be alone with any guys now because of what I'd done to her. I'm standing there with my mouth open because I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told him that was complete bullshit and that she was the one who came on to me and I was the one who rejected her. But he said I was lying and trying to make her look bad because I was embarrassed about getting caught. Then my parents came home and heard us screaming at each other, and Max told them his version of what happened. My mom started crying, and my dad looked at me like I was some kind of monster. They didn't even want to hear my side of the story. When I tried to explain what really happened, my dad cut me off and said that Sia was just a child

and I was supposed to be the adult in the situation and how could I betray their trust like this? I kept trying to tell them that she was lying and that I would never do something like that, but my mom said that Sia had no reason to lie and that she was obviously traumatized and why would she make something like that up. I said maybe because I rejected her and she was embarrassed and angry, but they said I was being disgusting trying to blame the victim. The next few days were absolute hell. Max wouldn't even look at me, and my parents were treating me like I had some kind of disease. They wouldn't eat dinner with me, and my mom would barely speak to me,

and my dad kept making these comments about how disappointed he was and how he didn't know who I really was. I tried talking to them individually to explain what really happened, but none of them would listen. My mom said she couldn't bear to hear the details, and my dad said I needed to take responsibility. for my actions and stopped trying to make excuses. Max just told me to stay away from his girlfriend and that he'd never forgive me for what I'd done. The worst part was that Sia would still come around, but now she'd act all scared and jumpy around me. Like, she'd flinch if I walked into a room, or she'd make sure to never be alone with me.

It was such obvious acting, but everyone else bought it completely, and it just made me look more guilty. I ended up cutting my winter break short and going back to school early because I couldn't stand being in that house anymore. I thought maybe after some time passed, they'd calm down and realize that her story didn't make sense. But when I came home for spring break, things were just as bad, if not worse. They'd apparently been talking to Cia's parents, and there was discussion about whether they should report it to the police. My dad sat me down and said that if I admitted what I'd done and apologized sincerely, then maybe we could work through this as a family. But if I kept lying and making Sia out to be some kind of manipulator, then I was going to destroy any chance of fixing this.

I told him I had nothing to apologize for because I didn't do anything wrong, and he said that was my choice, but I needed to understand that actions have consequences. I realized right then that they were never going to believe me no matter what I said or how much evidence I gave them. I finished my junior year and got that summer internship, and when it was over, I didn't go home. I found a job in another state and got my own apartment and started building my own life. For a while, they'd call and try to get me to come home, but I told them I wasn't welcome there anymore since they'd made it clear they thought I was a rapist. My mom would cry on the phone and say they just wanted me to get help and take responsibility

and that we could move past this if I would just admit what I'd done. I'd tell her there was nothing to admit and nothing to move past because I didn't do anything and eventually they stopped calling. That was seven years ago, and I haven't spoken to any of them since then. I built a good life for myself, and I have a great job now, and I'm engaged to an amazing woman who knows the whole story and believes me. I thought that chapter of my life was closed forever. But then last month, I got a call from my mom.

She was crying and saying she was sorry and that they'd made a terrible mistake and they wanted me to come home. Apparently, Max got arrested for dealing drugs, like serious amounts of cocaine and heroin, and he's looking at 15 to 20 years in federal prison. Sia broke up with him right after he got arrested and started dating some other guy immediately. According to my mom, she was bragging to people about how she played my whole family and how stupid they were for believing her lies. My mom said that Sia had admitted to several people that she'd made up the whole story about me because she was embarrassed that I'd rejected her and she wanted to make me look bad. She'd never expected it to blow up the way it did, but once it started,

she couldn't take it back without looking like a liar. So now my parents know the truth, and they're sorry, and they want to make it right. They want me to come home for Max's sentencing hearing to show family support. mom was crying on the phone, saying she knows they messed up, but I'm still their son, and families forgive each other, and they need me now more than ever. I listened to all of this, and then I told my mom that it was too late for apologies and that they'd made their choice seven years ago when they decided to believe some teenage girl over their own son. I built a life without them, and I didn't need them or want them in it anymore.

She started crying harder and saying that they were going through the worst time of their lives and how could I abandon them when they needed me most. I said they'd abandon me first when I needed them most, and I didn't owe them anything. Then I hung up. Since then, I've been getting calls and texts from extended family members saying I'm being too harsh and that my parents made a mistake, but they're truly sorry, and I should give them another chance.

Even my fiancé thinks maybe I should consider talking to them at least. Everyone keeps saying that families make mistakes and that holding on to anger for this long isn't healthy and that my parents have learned their lesson and they're suffering enough with Max going to prison. But I keep thinking about how they threw me away so easily based on lies and how they never even tried to hear my side of the story. I don't feel bad for them at all, I really don't. Just because their golden boy turned out to be a drug dealer doesn't mean they get to come crawling back to the sun they threw away like garbage. So I'd offer refusing to forgive my family and help them through this difficult time, or am I justified in keeping them out of my life forever?

Update 1, reading all your comments has been really helpful and also kind of overwhelming. I think I needed to hear from strangers that I'm not crazy for still being angry about this because everyone in my real life keeps acting like I should just get over it. A few people asked for more details about what happened when the truth came out, so I'll fill in some of that. Apparently, what happened was that Sia was at some party with her new boyfriend, and she was drunk and started bragging about how she'd manipulated my whole family. She was telling people about how she'd had a crush on me, and when I rejected her, she decided to get revenge by making everyone think I was a creep. Someone at the party knew my family, and word got back to my parents. When they confronted Sia about it, she tried to backtrack it first, but eventually she admitted it was all made up. She said she was just a stupid teenager who didn't think about the consequences and she was sorry, but the damage was already done.

My mom called me the day after they found out, and that's when she told me everything. She was sobbing on the phone and saying she couldn't believe they'd been so wrong about me and that she'd lost seven years with her son over lies. But honestly, hearing her cry didn't make me feel better, it just made me more angry. I keep thinking about how quick they were to believe the worst about me and how they never even considered that maybe I was telling the truth. They just decided that some girl they'd known for eight months was more trustworthy than their own son who they'd raised for 21 years. Since my first post, I've gotten more calls from family members trying to convince me to reach out to my parents. My aunt called me yesterday and said that my mom has been a wreck since she found out the truth and that she's been saying she doesn't know how to live with herself, knowing what she did to me. My aunt said that my parents have started going to therapy and that

they realized they messed up badly and they just want a chance to make it right. But I told her that some things can't be made right and that they had seven years to figure out I was telling the truth, and they chose not to. I also found out more about Max's situation, and it's pretty bad. He's been dealing for at least three years, and the feds have him dead to rights. His lawyer is trying to work out a plea deal, but he's still looking at a minimum of 10 years. Apparently, my parents are broke from trying to pay for his legal fees. I am now wondering if they would have even reached out to me if Max hadn't gotten arrested and if they weren't dealing with all this stress and financial pressure. Like, maybe they only want me back now because they need

support and money, not because they actually feel bad about what they did to me. My fiancé and I have been talking about this a lot, and she thinks I should at least consider having one conversation with my parents to hear them out, not necessarily to forgive them, but just to get closure for myself. But I don't know if I want closure, or if I just want them to stay gone. I've been doing fine without them for seven years, and my life is good, and I'm happy. So why should I let them back in just so they can make me miserable again? Because that's what will happen, I know it will. They'll make promises and say they've changed, but the damage is done, and it can't be undone. Some people in the comments said I should take the high road and forgive them because holding

onto anger is unhealthy. But I don't feel like I'm holding onto anger, I feel like I've moved on, and they're the ones trying to drag me back into their drama. I'm not sitting around stewing about what they did to me. I'm living my life and being happy. If that means keeping toxic people out of my life, even if they're related to me, then that's what I'm going to do. I think what really gets me is that they expect me to just forget about seven years of being

treated like I don't exist and come running back now that they need me. Like, I'm supposed to be grateful that they finally figured out I was telling the truth all along. Well, I'm not grateful, and I'm not coming back, and I don't care if that makes me the bad guy in their story. They wrote me out of their story a long time ago, so they don't get to write me back in now that it's convenient for them. Update 2, I got a call for Max's lawyer two days ago, and that was a conversation I never expected to have. Apparently, Max has been asking about me and wants to talk to me before his sentencing hearing. His lawyer said that Max has been doing a lot of thinking in jail and he wants to apologize for not believing me about what really happened with Sia. He's hoping

I might consider writing a character letter for his sentencing. I told the lawyer that Max and I haven't spoken in seven years, and I don't know anything about who he is now or what kind of character he has. The lawyer said that Max knows it's a long shot, but he's desperate, and he's realized he messed up badly with his family, and he wants to try to make things right. The lawyer also told me some things about Max's case that I didn't know before. Apparently, he started dealing drugs about a year after I left home, and it began small but escalated quickly. According to the lawyer, Max has said that losing his brother was one of the things that sent him into a downward spiral. Now I don't know how I feel about that because, on one hand, I'm not responsible for Max's choices,

and he's a grown man who decided to deal drugs. But on the other hand, I keep wondering if things would have been different if I'd stayed and fought harder to make them believe me instead of just leaving. My fiancé thinks I should talk to Max at least once, not necessarily to help with his sentencing, but just to hear what he has to say. She thinks it might help me understand why my family was so quick to believe Sia over me, but I'm not sure I want to understand that. I've been going back and forth about this for days now, and I can't decide what the right thing to do is.

I also found out that my parents have been telling people in our hometown about what really happened and how they were wrong about me. Apparently, some people are giving them a hard time about it and saying they should have known better than to believe a teenage girl over their own son. But I keep thinking about Max sitting in jail and asking for his brother, and I wonder if I'm being cruel by not even talking to him. Because whatever else happened, he's still my little brother, and he's looking at spending the next 10 to 20 years in prison. I remember when we were kids and how close we used to be. He would follow me around everywhere

and copy everything I did. When I taught him how to ride a bike and how to throw a football, I keep thinking about how that little boy grew up to choose drugs and dealing over having a relationship with his brother. But then I also think about him screaming at me and calling me a pervert and how he wouldn't even look at me for those last few weeks before I left home. And how he never once in seven years tried to reach out to me or question whether maybe Sia was lying. I don't know what I'm supposed to do here and everyone has opinions, but nobody has answers. I'm tired of thinking about it, but I can't seem to stop. It's like this whole thing has opened up a wound I thought was healed, and now it's bleeding all over my life again. I think what I'm really angry about is that I was finally at peace with all of this, and now they're forcing me to deal with it again when I didn't ask for any of this.

I didn't ask for Max to get arrested, and I didn't ask for Sia to confess, and I didn't ask for my parents to come crawling back. I was doing fine with my chosen family and my new life, and now I'm back to thinking about all this old pain, and I resent them for putting me in this position. Like, even now when they know they were wrong, they're still making everything about them and their needs. Maybe I'll talk to Max, and maybe I won't. I haven't decided yet. But if I do, it's going to be on my terms and for my reasons,

not because his lawyer thinks it might help his case or because my parents think it will make them feel better about what they did. Update 3, I ended up going to see Max, and I'm still processing everything that happened during that conversation. It was nothing like what I expected, and I'm honestly more confused now than I was before. The jail visit was exactly as depressing as you'd imagine. Max looked terrible, he's lost a lot of weight, and he looks older than his 26 years. When he saw me, he started crying before he even said anything, which was not something I was prepared for.

He told me he was sorry and that he'd been wrong about everything and that he'd thought about me every day for the past seven years. Finding out the truth about Sia had destroyed him because he realized he'd thrown away his relationship with his brother over lies. Then he told me something that I wasn't expecting. He said that even after that first fight we had about Sia, he'd started having doubts about her story. There were little things that didn't add up and she would change details when she told the story

to different people. He'd started to wonder if maybe she was lying. He said he'd even talk to some of his friends about it, and they told him that her story seemed fishy and that it was weird how she was still hanging around her house all the time if she was really traumatized by what I'd supposedly done to her. I asked him why he didn't say anything if he had doubts, and he said he was embarrassed and didn't want to admit that his girlfriend had played him. By then, our parents were so convinced I was guilty that he didn't think they'd listen to him anyway. He also said that after I left home, he tried to bring up his doubts to our parents a few times, but they'd shut him down and said he was just feeling guilty for not protecting his girlfriend

better. They didn't want to hear him questioning Sia's story. This is the part that really messed with my head. Max said that about two years after I left, he'd gotten into a huge fight with Sia about something else, and she'd admitted that she'd lied about me. She'd told him the whole truth about how she'd come on to me and I'd rejected her, and she'd made up the assault story because she was embarrassed and angry. When I heard this, I couldn't believe it. I asked him why he didn't tell our parents right then, and he said that he tried, but Sia had begged him not to and promised she'd tell them herself eventually. She'd convinced him that if the truth came out, it would destroy both their families, and everyone would hate her. Max said that he'd been planning to tell our parents anyway, but then Sia had threatened to kill herself if he exposed her lies.

She'd said that she couldn't live with everyone knowing what she'd done and that her life would be over if the truth came out. So Max had kept quiet because he didn't want to be responsible for Sia hurting herself. But he'd also started using drugs to cope with the guilt of knowing I was innocent and not being able to do anything about it, and that's how he'd gotten into dealing and ended up where he is now. I sat there listening to all of this, and I didn't know whether to feel sorry for him or furious at him. He'd known I was innocent for almost five years and never said anything, but he was just a kid trying to keep his girlfriend from killing herself. He said that breaking up with Sia and having her immediately start dating someone else had made him realize that she'd been manipulating him all along. She'd probably never intended to tell the truth and had just been using the suicide threat to keep him quiet.

Max said that's when he'd really spiraled and started dealing more serious drugs, because he felt like he'd lost everything that mattered to him and he didn't care what happened to him anymore. Now he's facing 20 years in prison, and he knows it's his own fault, but he also knows that things might have been different if he'd been braver. By the end of the conversation, we were both crying, and I didn't know what to say to him. I'd spent seven years thinking that he'd never questioned Cia's story and that he'd chosen her over me without any doubts. But now I find out that he'd known the truth for years and had been carrying that guilt around. I told him that I understood why he'd kept quiet about the suicide threat, but that it didn't change the fact that I'd spent seven years thinking my whole family believed I was a rapist.

Knowing he'd had doubts didn't make up for the years of silence. He said he knew that, and he wasn't asking for it. for forgiveness because he didn't deserve it. He just wanted me to know that he'd never really believed I could do what Sia said I'd done, and that losing me had been the worst thing that had ever happened to him. I left that jail visit feeling completely drained, and I still don't know what to think about any of it. I understand why Max kept quiet, but I'm also angry that he let me suffer for years when he

could have spoken up. My fiancé thinks this changes things and that maybe I should consider reaching out to my parents now that I know the whole story. But I'm not sure it does change anything because the end result is the same. I don't know if I'm going to write that character letter for Max's sentencing or not. I keep going back and forth about all of this, and I wish I'd never agreed to see him because now I've even more complicated feelings to deal with. Before this visit, I could at least tell myself that my family had never cared about me enough to question Cia's lies, but now I know that's not entirely true. Final update, I decided to write the character

letter for Max's sentencing, and I attended the hearing. I'm glad I did, even though it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Max ended up getting 12 years instead of the 20 they were originally talking about. His lawyer said that the family support and character letters made a difference in the judge's decision, so I guess it was worth it, even though I'm still not sure how I feel about everything. My parents were at the sentencing hearing and seeing them again after seven years was surreal. They both looked older, and my mom had gray hair that I'd never seen before. When they saw me, my dad started crying, which was something I'd never seen him do before. After the hearing, they came up to me, and my mom tried to hug me, but I stepped back and told her

I wasn't ready for that. My dad said they understood and that they were just grateful I'd come and that they knew they had a lot to make up for. We ended up talking for about an hour in the courthouse cafeteria, and it was awkward and painful but also kind of necessary. They apologized over and over and said they knew sorry wasn't enough, but they wanted me to know that they'd never stopped loving me and thinking about me. My mom said that not a day had gone by that she didn't regret how they'd handled everything. My dad said that they'd let their emotions override their judgment and that they should have known their son better than to believe he could do something like that. They'd failed me as parents in the worst possible way.

I told them that their apologies didn't undo everything and that I'd built a life without them that I was happy with. I wasn't sure if there was a way back from what had happened between us. They said they understood and that they didn't expect me to forgive them right away or maybe ever. But they hoped maybe someday we could have some kind of relationship again, even if it was different from what we'd had before. I've been thinking about the conversation for weeks now, and I still don't know what I want to do.

I don't think I can just go back to being their son like nothing happened, but I also don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life completely cut off from them. My fiancé and I have talked about maybe starting with occasional phone calls or emails and seeing how that goes, not jumping back into a full relationship, but just keeping the door open for the possibility of something in the future. I also decided to visit Max one more time before he got transferred to federal prison, and we had a better conversation than the first one. He's accepted responsibility for his choices, and he's not blaming anyone else for where he ended up. He asked me to stay in touch with him while he's serving his time. I told him I'd think about it and that I wasn't making any promises, but that I was glad we'd had the chance to clear the air about what really happened all those years ago. As for Sia, I found out that she moved away from our hometown, and nobody knows where she went, which is probably for the best. I'm not sure what my relationship with my family is going to look like going forward.

I know I can't just pick up where we left off, but I also know that holding on to anger forever isn't doing me any favors. Right now, I'm focused on my wedding planning in my career and building the life I want with my fiancé. If my parents want to be part of that life someday, then they're going to have to earn it, because forgiveness isn't something they're entitled to just because their family. I still think I was right to cut them off when I did, and I don't regret protecting myself from their toxicity. But now that I know the whole story, I'm willing to consider the possibility that people can change and that maybe there's a way forward that doesn't involve completely burning bridges.