Reddit Stories - SIBLINGS PILFERED valuable gadgets from the WORKPLACE where my spouse secured them a

Episode Date: November 8, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #siblings #pilfered #workplace #spouse #gadgetsSummary: Siblings pilfered valuable gadgets from the workplace where my spouse secured them. The situation has caused tension and mistrust within the family, leading to a dilemma of whether to confront the siblings or handle the issue discreetly.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, siblings, pilfered, workplace, spouse, gadgets, family, tension, mistrust, dilemma, confront, discreetly, theft, valuable, personal, relationshipsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Siblings pilfered valuable gadgets from the workplace where my spouse secured them a position, and now my guardians are insisting that I oblige my spouse to reinstate them or they'll sever ties with me. The family forever. I, 34F, grew up in a family-first household, the kind where you're expected to bend over backwards for each other no matter what. My younger brother, Jake, 29M, has always been the golden child in my parents' eyes. Growing up, if Jake got into trouble, I was the one told to fix it. He crashed my bike as a kid.

I was scolded for letting him ride it, then handed my allowance to help pay for repairs. He failed a class in school. I was encouraged to tutor him every day, even if it meant dropping my own activities. You get the picture, I became the unofficial cleanup crew for Jake's messes. I love my brother, but he's, reckless. charming when he wants something, but never big on facing consequences. Meanwhile, I worked hard to build a stable life. I went to college, got a good job, and eventually married my husband Dan, 36M.

Dan is wonderful, patient, honest, and very hardworking. He started at his company over a decade ago and climbed up to a management position. It's not a huge corporation or anything, but it's a reputable mid-sized company in the tech hardware industry. Dan manages a team in charge of inventory and logistics for high-end electronic equipment. He takes his job and any recommendation he makes, extremely seriously. Over the years, my parents have had no shame in asking me for all sorts of favors for Jake. Money for his car repairs, a place for him to crash, we briefly let him stay in our guest room last year after he broke up with a girlfriend, you name it.

They always frame it as family helps family. For the most part, I've tried to help when I could, but I also started setting some gentle boundaries as I got older. I stopped handing out money after one too many loans that never came back, for example. My parents did not take that well, cue the guilt trips about how I'm so successful while Jake struggles, and how I owe it to family to share the good fortune. It's exhausting, to say the least. The latest request. A few months ago, Jake was jobless, He's had a spotty work history, some short stints in retail and warehouses, but nothing lasted long.

My parents called me not so subtly suggesting that Dan could find a position for Jake at his company. They talked about how Jake just needed someone to give him a chance, and how I should step up for family by asking my husband to do this. I was very hesitant. Mixing family and business can go horribly wrong, as you might already sense. But Jake begged me too, claiming he'd really straighten up if he just had a good job opportunity. He swore he'd be responsible and make me proud. I'll admit, I felt for him, he seemed sincere and desperate.

After weeks of pressure and seeing my brother practically on his knees, I caved. I talked to Dan. Dan was wary but agreed to help. He managed to get Jake an entry-level job on his team, basically handling inventory records and helping in the warehouse. It wasn't glamorous, but it paid decently and had benefits, and it was the kind of foot-in-the-door opportunity Jake had been crying for. Dan made it clear to both me and Jake, he was sticking his neck out by recommending him.

If Jake messed up, it would reflect badly on Dan. I promised my husband that I understood, and I truly believe my brother would step up, at least this once. For the first month or so, things seemed okay. Jake actually showed up on time, from what I heard, and was learning the ropes. My husband would give me polite, short updates like your brother is doing fine. I breathed a sigh of relief thinking maybe this time the gamble would pay off. Well, so much for that.

Not long after Jake passed his three-month probation period, all hell broke loose. I remember the night Dan came home unusually quiet. He sat me down and told me there had been an incident at work involving Jake. My stomach dropped. Dan then explained that a couple of high-end graphics cards, the kind worth a small fortune each, had gone missing from the inventory cage. These are expensive tech components that their company distributes. It's a pretty serious loss. They checked the security footage and caught my brother trying to slip the boxes out in his backpack. Basically, Jake attempted to steal pricey electronics from the warehouse, and he was caught red-handed on camera.

I was mortified. According to Dan, when confronted by management, Jake first tried to lie that he thought they were trash, which was obviously a bogus excuse, who shoves brand new sealed electronics into their personal bag if they think it's trash. Then he switched to begging, saying he needed money and was planning to sell them. It was just a mess. The company has a zero-tolerance policy for theft, as any sane business would. One said HR was involved and they terminated Jake's employment on the spot.

By the time Dan told me, Jake had already been fired earlier that day and escorted out. Here's where it gets even more complicated. That evening, after I got the news, my phone blew up with calls from my parents. I was barely processing my own shock and anger, but I answered. Big mistake. My parents were livid at me. Apparently, Jake had run straight to them after being fired, spinning the story that he was unfairly blamed for some missing items.

They either believed him or chose to pretend they did. The conversation quickly turned into them yelling that I needed to fix this. I tried to explain to them that Jake was caught on camera and that this was entirely his fault. They wouldn't hear it. My father said something along the lines of, your husband should have protected his own family. Who cares about a couple gadgets? Family comes first. I was stunned.

I argued that Dan did help by giving him a chance, and it was Jake who blew it. Mom started crying, saying I should beg Dan to give Jake his job back because now he'll struggle again and it'll be partly my fault for not guiding him. She actually said I should have somehow prevented this, like I'm my brother's keeper. I told them in no uncertain terms that I would not ask Dan to put his reputation on the line by rehiring someone who literally stole from the company. I said Jake is an adult and this is his consequence to deal with. Well, that set off an explosion.

My mom sobbed harder, saying I was being cruel and heartless towards my own brother. Dad basically growled that I was betraying family for my husband and that I'd better remember where my loyalties should lie. It became a screaming match with them accusing me of turning my back on my brother. I ended up yelling back that Jake did this to himself and I wasn't, going to cover for him. Dad then gave me an ultimatum. Either I convinced Dan to fix this, get my brother reinstated, or at least find him another position in the company, or I shouldn't bother calling or coming home. He said if I won't support my brother in this time of need,

then I'm not a good daughter or sister. I was speechless. In the heat of the moment I shouted something to the effect that if that's how they feel, then so be it, and hung up. That was a couple of days ago. I haven't spoken to my parents or Jake since. I did text my brother after I cooled down, basically saying I'm not going to be able to help him and asking what on earth he was thinking. He hasn't responded, but he posted some vague dramatic thing on social media about backstabbers and family that doesn't support you which I suspect is directed at me. Now I'm torn. My upbringing drilled into me that family is everything. I feel awful that things have come to this. A part of me wonders if I should have tried harder to reason with Dan or his company, though realistically,

there's zero chance they'd rehire a caught thief. Another part of me is furious at my brother for being so incredibly stupid and at my parents for expecting me to magically fix it. My husband is completely on my side. He says there's absolutely no way Jake can or should get his job back, and that my parents are out of line to put this on me. I know he's right, logically. But the guilt and second-guessing are eating at me because I essentially facilitated this whole thing by getting him the job in the first place. Did I set him up to fail? So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to beg my husband to rehire, or overlook, my brother's theft? Edit, for clarity, a lot of people are asking

why the company didn't press charges. Trust me, I was bracing for that, too. The only reason my brother isn't facing criminal charges is because Dan advocated for him. Dan was furious at Jake, but he convinced his higher-ups to just fire Jake and not involve the police. I suspect it was partly out of loyalty to me and because he didn't want me dealing with the fallout of an arrest in the family. It was a one-time goodwill gesture. My parents know this, yet they still think Jake is the victim here. Go figure. Update 1. Thank you Reddit for all the responses on my original post. I'm honestly blown away by how much attention it got and how supportive, and bluntly honest,

everyone was. It's been a few days since I posted, and I've had time to let everything sink in. Reading the comments was an eye-opener. Many of you pointed out how insane it is for my parents to expect me to cover up a literal theft, and that this enabling behavior has likely been going on forever. That really hit me, because it's true, this dynamic didn't just appear overnight. I was lying awake last night, thinking about another incident from years ago. When Jake was in his late teens, he got caught shoplifting at a mall. Instead of letting him face the music, my parents smoothed it over with the store, they knew the owner, so no charges were filed. I begged them to let Jake handle the consequences so he'd learn, but of course, they wouldn't. He got a token

punishment at home, grounded for a week, and then they swept it under the rug. They even told our relatives it was a misunderstanding. Jake learned nothing from that experience, except that mom and dad would always bail him out. That was one of the first times I realized my folks will twist reality to protect him. Anyway, your comments gave me a lot to think about. The judgment was overwhelmingly not the asshole, which, honestly, I expected but needed to hear from unbiased people. You all also helped me see how much my family's unhealthy dynamic has forced me into this fixer role. A lot of you said, if you keep catching your brother when he falls, he'll never learn to pick himself up. I'm taking that to heart. To answer some common

questions, did this affect Dan's job? Unfortunately, yes, there was some fallout. I asked Dan if he got into trouble for recommending Jake. He admitted he had a very uncomfortable talk with his higher-ups. Basically, he had to apologize for vouching for someone who then stole. and promised to be more careful about recommendations. It was humiliating for him. I feel awful, he stuck his neck out to help my brother at my urging, and it burned him. Dan, being the sweetheart he is, doesn't blame me, only Jake. But I still feel guilty that my family dragged him into this mess.

Does your brother have a history of this behavior? Besides the shoplifting story above, I suspect so. He's been fired from at least one other job in the past. At the time, my parents claimed the manager headed out for him. But knowing what I know now, I wouldn't be surprised if Jake did something to cause that firing too. My parents have a habit of downplaying or hiding his mistakes. It's like they were grooming me to see him as blameless so I'd keep helping. Have your parents always been this bias slash enabling?

Oh yes, absolutely. My parents have consistently enabled Jake and put the onus on me to be the responsible one. If he messed up, I was expected to fix it or cover for him. This pattern goes way back, and clearly it hasn't changed even though we're adults now. Now, here's what I've done since my first post, thanks in large part to your advice. Many commenters urged me to stand firm and set clear boundaries. Some even suggested going low contact or no contact if my parents keep this up. That idea is tough for me, as dysfunctional as things are, the thought of losing my parents

and brother entirely is painful. But I know I can't keep living under their thumb either. I haven't officially declared no contact or anything. What I did do was send a carefully written email to my parents. I took a day to draft it because I wanted to be firm but calm. In the email, I reiterated that I love them and Jake, but what they're asking of me is wrong. I explained that I cannot and will not ask Dan to jeopardize his career

by rehiring Jake or finding him another role. I stressed that Jake's actions have consequences, and that this is on him, not me, or Dan. I also stated I won't engage if they're just going to hurl insults or ultimatums. Basically, I told them I'm open to talking, but not if they continue to be abusive or expect me to perform miracles. I sent that email the day after my post went up. So far. No response. I know they saw it. I got a reed receipt, the perks of being an overly thorough office worker.

Their silence is pretty telling. It feels like they're trying to punish me with the silent treatment because I'm not obeying. It sucks, but I'm bracing myself. As for Jake, I tried reaching out to him too. I sent him a text saying, I'm here if he wants to talk about what happened or needs advice, but I can't undo what he did. He didn't reply. Instead, he made another cryptic social media.

media post about fake people and folks who put others before blood. He also posted a selfie looking pitiful with a caption about being betrayed by those closest to you. It's so melodramatic I would laugh if it didn't hurt. I'm taking the silence as a sign. They're likely waiting me out, expecting me to break and come running to apologize. Old me probably would have by now. But after hearing all your perspectives, I know standing my ground is the right thing. I haven't blocked anyone, I want to leave the door open for civil communication, but I refuse to chase them down. One more thing, some of you strongly suggested therapy, both for myself, to unlearn this guilt and conditioning, and for Jake, not that he'd go unless forced. I've taken the first step

and started looking for a therapist for myself. I haven't found the right match yet. So thank you for that push. That's where things stand. A tense stalemate. I'm I'm holding my ground, taking care of my mental health as best as I can, and hoping that maybe time will bring my parents and brother around. I won't lie, a part of me still hopes they'll reach out ready to talk, instead of demand. But I'm not holding my breath. I'll update again if anything changes. For now, I'm buckling in for the long haul.

Update 2. I wish I could say the stalemate ended on a positive note, but nope. treatment as a weapon is nothing new in my family. I remembered a time in high school when I defied my parents on something small, I refused to cancel plans to tutor Jake. They responded by freezing me out for a week until I caved. That was their mo. Withdraw love and approval until I fell back in line. So the past several days of silence from mom and dad? Not surprising, I recognize the tactic, and with support from my husband and you all, I'm determined not to cave this time. But apparently, my parents have other strategies beyond giving me the cold shoulder,

strategies far more outrageous. A few days ago, Dan came home from work looking upset. He told me that my father had contacted his company. Yes, my dad emailed Dan's boss, essentially to complain about Jake's firing. In the email, dad accused Dan of failing to stand up for family and painted Jake as a victim of an unfair company. He even wrote that the company me overreacted and that Jake only took those items because he wasn't paid enough to survive. What? It was a mess of guilt tripping, where family, how could you do this, and minimizing, it was only a couple of gadgets, nothing major. I was beyond mortified. Thank goodness Dan's boss is sensible. The boss called Dan and just to say, please ask your father-in-law not to contact us

again. He wasn't mad at Dan, more baffled and slightly amused that my father thought a sob story would override a theft. Dan apologized to his boss and assured him it wouldn't happen again. I can't describe how livid I was. Who does that? Who tries to harass their son-in-law's workplace because they're mad their other son faced consequences? This crossed a huge line. That night, I fired off another email to my parents, much shorter and angrier than my lap. I told them to never interfere with Dan's job again. I said if they had any respect for me, they'd back off immediately. I warned that if they pulled a stunt like that again, it would permanently damage our relationship,

honestly, it might already be beyond repair. I sent it, then called my mom because I was too angry to deal with Dad directly. Mom answered. She sounded weary and sad, and acted like I was forcing them into these extreme actions. She said they only went behind my back because I refused to help your own brother. She asked, what were we supposed to do? Just let him suffer, the discussion went in circles. She kept insisting they had no choice because I wouldn't help,

and I kept telling her what they did was completely out of line. She repeated how desperate Jake is and how, as parents, they're doing everything they can for him. I pointed out that their everything always seems to involve demanding sacrifices from me, or Dan. It fell on deaf ears. I'll admit I lost my temper. I basically said that if they can't see how messed up this all is, I don't know what else to say, and I hung up.

Since that call, we're back to silence. No replies to my angry email, no follow-ups. Just... Nothing. I did get a snarky text from my brother the next day, heard you yelled at Mom. Nice. I didn't respond.

It's infuriating, he's letting our parents fight his battles, and then acting smug when I get angry. The lack of self-awareness is astounding. For now, I'm focusing on my own household. Dan has been nothing but supportive, and thankfully his work considers the matter closed after chalking it up to a rogue family member. We spend our evenings quietly, and he keeps reassuring me I'm doing the right thing. I must have asked him, am I really wrong? 10 times, and every time he just hugs me and says, no, you're right. I don't know what comes next. Maybe my parents will continue to pretend I don't exist unless I bend.

Maybe another storm is brewing. Honestly, I'm preparing for anything. Update 3. I hope things would calm down, but instead I got one last emotional roller coaster with my family. My mother has always been the softer touch compared to dad. She hates open conflict and usually plays mediator or guilt tripper. If I upset Dad when I was younger, Mom would come to me later and say, You know your father loves you, he's just disappointed, then urge me to apologize or comply for the family.

She's a quiet enabler, the kind who will softly say, please do this for us, which somehow makes you feel even guiltier than yelling would. A few days after my last update, Mom actually reached out to me directly for the first time since this whole mess. She left a voicemail saying she wanted to talk and would come over alone if I was willing. I had mixed feelings. Mom came over the next evening. Dan stayed home for support, but he gave us privacy by hanging out in the backyard with an earshot. When I opened the door and saw my mom standing there looking tired and teary-eyed,

I nearly broke down myself. I gave her a hug, and we sat down in the living room. She started by saying she missed me and hated that we weren't talking. talking. I told her I missed her too. But almost immediately, she eased into the same plea and said, this situation with your brother has gotten out of hand, and that my father was beside himself with grief. She begged me to please reconsider helping Jake. Not necessarily get him his old job back, but maybe I could ask Dan if he knows of any job for Jake, or use my contacts elsewhere. Essentially, if I wouldn't bring him back into Dan's company, could I find him something

somewhere? She framed it as a compromise. I listened, trying to stay calm. Then I told her gently but firmly, Mom, I've tried to help Jake so many times. I got him the job, and he lost it by his own actions. He has to face the consequences and find his own way now. I said I understood they're worried about him, but they can't fix this by forcing others to save him. I also expressed how hurt I was that they turned on me and Dan, especially with the work email stunt. Mom was in tears the whole time. She kept saying, you don't understand how hard it is for us. He's our son. We can't just let him fail. I replied that I do understand they love him, but protecting him from consequences is only hurting all of us. I even use some of the wisdom I

got from you guys about how shielding someone from failure just guarantees they never learn. She didn't raise her voice or snap at me. She just cried quietly and said, I'm so sorry it's come to this. I wish you could find it in your heart to forgive him and help him. That absolutely broke my heart. I started crying too. I told her, I don't want our family torn apart either. But I can't be the one to fix this. Not this time. For a moment we just held hands and cried together. I hoped maybe she finally understood. But then she said, barely above a whisper, your father says he won't speak to you until you make this right.

And I don't know what to do. Then she asked, is Dan really not willing to give him another chance? Just one more, maybe in a different department? That's when I realized she still hadn't accepted what I was saying. All she could think of was me finding some way to magically solve this for Jake. I shook my head and said, No, Mom, Dan can't, and won't. do that. It's not about willingness, it's just not possible or fair. Jake burned that bridge. I reminded her that Dan already went to bat to prevent legal consequences. If things had gone

differently, Jake could have a criminal record. She nodded, but I don't think it sunk in. In the end, Mom said softly, if you won't help at all, I don't know how to convince your father. He feels like you've turned your back on us. I was drained and choking up. at this point. I said, I'm sorry he feels that way. But I have to look out for my own family and myself too. I can't do what he wants. She looked at me for a long moment and said, we love you. I hope you'll reconsider. I walked her to the door. We hugged again, both of us still crying. I told her I love them and that my door is always open if they want to talk, as long as it's not just about me fixing Jake's life.

She nodded, but didn't promise anything, and then she left. That was the last time I saw my mom in person. After that visit, there's been silence again. It feels painfully unresolved. There was no breakthrough. They're still stuck in their perspective, and I'm stuck in mine. Dad hasn't contacted me at all. He's apparently holding firm until I make it right.

Mom is heartbroken but won't openly go against Dad or the mission of saving Jake. My brother hasn't reached out either. I suspect he's just hiding behind them and waiting. I spent the next few days after that visit in a fog of grief. Thank goodness for Dan, who was there to hold me every time I broke down sobbing. It's one thing to stand your ground in a heated moment. It's another to see your mom cry and still hold firm. Final update.

It's been a while since my last update. I wanted to give it some time to truly see where things would settle. At this point, it's been several months, and I wish I had a happier resolution to share, but life isn't a neat sitcom. The short version is, we're still estranged. My parents have not contacted me, and I haven't contacted them. Not in any meaningful way, at least. We didn't even speak during the usual family gatherings or holidays that came and went,

a first in my life. It was sad sitting out those traditions. I won't lie, I spent one holiday evening ugly crying on the couch because I kept expecting my mom's call that never came. In the meantime, I've heard bits and pieces about my family through the grapevine. From what a cousin mentioned, my parents did eventually find another job opportunity for Jake. Apparently my dad called in a favor from an old friend to get Jake into cementral level position at a different company. So my brother is employed again, for now. True to form, it seems even when I'm out of the picture, my parents resorted to the same pattern of bailing him out via connections.

I hope for everyone's sake he doesn't squander this chance, but given history. I have my concerns. Regardless, it at least eased one worry I had, which was that my brother would be financially floundering long-term. He's got a job, what he does with it is up to him. As for me, I've been focusing on my own well-being. I did find a therapist and have been going regularly. It's been incredibly helpful to talk through everything, the guilt, the anger, the grief of essentially losing my family, at least for now. My marriage, thankfully, is solid.

If anything, this whole ordeal brought me and Dan even closer. We've talked a lot about boundaries and what kind of family environment we want if we ever have kids. Dan has been my rock. through all of this, reminding me that I'm not cruel or heartless, that I'm allowed to set boundaries, and that I'm not the sum of my parents' approval. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through these months without his unwavering support, and without the validation from so many of you here on Reddit. Do I still hope for a reconciliation? In a way, yes. They're my parents and my brother, I'll probably always hold out hope that one day we can mend things. I'd love to have a relationship with them that isn't built on guilt and enabling.

But I've accepted that I cannot be the one to fix this. They would have to at least meet me halfway, and so far they haven't shown willingness to do that. Accepting that has been hard, but it's brought me a bit of peace. If they never come around, I'll mourn that, but I'll survive. My door remains open if they ever decide to talk to me as a daughter rather than a resource to be exploited. In the meantime, I'm living my life as best as I can. I want to close by saying thank you to all of you who took the time to comment and give me advice and moral support. I genuinely believe that without the perspective and encouragement I got here, I might have crumbled and given into my family's demands, as I always used to.