Reddit Stories - Spent $25,000 on my DAUGHTER'S MARRIAGE CELEBRATION, but she decided to have my

Episode Date: July 3, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #weddingwoes #financialstress #parentingdilemma #relationshipissuesSummary: I spent $25,000 on my daughter's marriage celebration, but she decided to have my ex-husband walk her down the aisle instead of me. Feeling hurt and betrayed, I'm unsure how to navigate this family drama and cope with the financial strain.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familydrama, weddingwoes, financialstress, parentingdilemma, relationshipissues, daughter, marriage, celebration, exhusband, walkdowntheaisle, hurt, betrayed, family, copeBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spent $25,000 on my daughter's marriage celebration, but she decided to have my former spouse's recent spouse escort her down the aisle instead of me, and I was not included in the guest list, so I decided to call off the event. Everything and watched her breakdown on security cameras. I'm going to try to tell this without losing my mind again, but honestly I'm still so angry I can barely type straight. My daughter Sia is 24 and she got engaged.

to this guy Derek last year and I was so happy for her because she seemed really excited and I thought finally something good is happening in our family after all the shit we've been through with the divorce and everything. For context, I divorced Sia's mom Abigail about eight years ago and it was messy as hell because Abigail was having an affair with this guy Jones who she ended up marrying and Sia was really angry at me for a long time because Abigail convinced her that I was the one who ruined the family and I was controlling and all this other bullshit that wasn't. True but whatever, kids believe what they want to believe and I figured she'd come around eventually. And she did sort of come around.

Like we started talking again when she turned 21 and she'd call me sometimes and we'd have dinner maybe once a month and things felt like they were getting better and I thought we were rebuilding our relationship and I was so fucking happy about that because Sia is my only kid and I love her more than anything in this world even though she's put. Me through hell. So when she got engaged I told her I wanted to pay for the wedding because that's what fathers do right, and she was so excited and kept, thanking me and hugging me and telling me how grateful she was and how she knew I'd always be there for her and all this stuff that made me feel like maybe we were finally good again. We started planning and Sia had all these big dreams and I kept saying yes to everything because I wanted her to have the perfect day and I figured this was my chance to show her how much I loved her and how sorry I was for all the years we didn't talk and maybe this would fix things between us for good. The venue she wanted was $8,000 just for the space and then the catering was another $12,000 for 200 people. And the flowers were $3,500 and the dress was $2,800 and the photographer was

$2,200 and by the time we added everything up it was right around $30,000 and I didn't even because Sia was so happy and she kept sending me pictures of. Everything and texting me about how excited she was and how this was going to be the best day ever. I paid for everything up front because the vendors wanted deposits and then final payments and Sia said it would be easier if I just handled all the money stuff and she'd focus on the planning and coordination and I was fine with that because I just wanted her to enjoy the process and not stress about finances. Everything was going great for months and Sia and I were talking more than we had in years and she was including me in decisions and asking my opinion on things and I felt like we were

really connecting and I was so proud of the woman she'd become and so excited to walk her down though. I'll and dance with her at the reception and just have that perfect father-daughter moment that I'd been dreaming about for years. But then about six weeks before the wedding Sia started acting weird and distant and when I'd call her she'd be short with me and when I'd ask about wedding stuff she'd say everything was handled and I didn't need to worry about it and I started getting this bad feeling in my stomach but I told myself I was just being paranoid and she was probably just stressed about the wedding like all brides get stressed. Then four weeks before the wedding I was supposed to meet with Sia and the wedding planner to go over

final details and Sia cancelled on me last minute and said she'd handle it herself and when I asked if everything was okay she just said she was busy and we'd talk later but we never did talk later because every time i tried to reach her she'd text back instead of calling and her texts were getting shorter and colder i should have known something was wrong but i kept telling myself she was just overwhelmed and after the wedding everything would go back to normal and we'd be closer than ever and i was probably just overthinking things because i tend to do that sometimes especially when it comes to seea because i'm always worried i'm going to lose her again two weeks before the wedding I drove to her apartment to check on her because she hadn't returned my calls for three days

and when I got there, Derek answered the door and he looked really uncomfortable and nervous and when I asked where Sia was he said she wasn't feeling well and couldn't see anyone right now and I knew he was lying but I didn't want to cause a scene so I just left and tried calling Sia again but she didn't answer. The next day Sia finally called me back and she sounded different, like cold and formal. And when I asked if she was okay she said she needed to tell me something and my heart just dropped because I knew it was going to be bad and she said that she and Derek had been talking and they decided they wanted a more intimate wedding with just close family and friends and I said okay that's fine we can adjust the guest list

and she said no I don't think you understand she said they had decided that since her mom and Jones have been more involved in her life lately and since Jones had been like a father to her for the past eight years they thought it would be better if Jones walked her down the aisle instead of me and I just sat there holding the phone and I couldn't even speak because. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and I couldn't breathe. I finally managed to ask her what she meant and she said that she appreciated everything I'd done financially but she and Derek wanted their wedding day to be about family who had actually been there for them and supported them and she said Jones had been more of a father to.

Her than I ever was and she thought it would be more meaningful if he was the one to give her away. I lost it, I'm not going to lie. I started yelling and asking her how she said, she could do this to me after everything and I told her I was the one who paid for this entire wedding and I was her actual father and she couldn't just replace me with some guy who broke up our family and she started yelling back that money doesn't make you a father and that I abandoned her when she needed me. Most and that Jones was there for her when I wasn't. We went back and forth screaming at each other and she kept saying things like I was never there for her important moments and I missed her graduation and her birthdays and I kept trying to tell her that her mother wouldn't

let me see her and that every time I tried to be involved Abigail would. Find some way to block me or make it difficult, but Sia just kept saying those were excuses and that if I really wanted to be there I would have found the fight went on for like an hour and Sia kept getting more and more vicious and she said things like I only cared about myself and that I was trying to buy her love with money and that she was. Tired of pretending we had a relationship just because I wrote some checks and that really fucking hurt because I thought we had been rebuilding something real and I thought she actually wanted me in her life again. Finally, Sia said that I was just a checkbook and that she had made up her mind and Jones was

walking her down the aisle and if I didn't like it I didn't have to come to the wedding at all and I said fine, maybe I won't come and she said good because she didn't want me there anyway and then she hung up on me and I just sat there staring at my phone and shaking because I couldn't believe this was happening. I didn't hear from Sia for a week and I kept thinking she would call and apologize or at least try to work something out, but she didn't and then Derek called me and said that Sia wanted him to tell me that they had decided I wasn't invited to the wedding at all and that Jones was going to. Walk her down the aisle and also do the father-daughter dance and basically take over

all the father roles and I asked Derek if he was serious and he said yes and that Sia didn't want any drama on her wedding day. I asked Derek, Sia knew that I had paid for this entire wedding and he got quiet and then said that Sia said I could consider it my wedding gift to them and that they appreciated my contribution, but they didn't want me there, and I just hung up because I was so angry I couldn't even form words, and I spent the rest of that day just walking around my house trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. That night I couldn't sleep and I kept going over everything in my head and trying to figure out where I went wrong and why Sia hated me so much and I started thinking about all the money

I'd spent and how I'd been so excited to be part of her special day and how she had just thrown me. away like I was nothing and I got angrier and angrier until I was pacing around my living room at 3 a.m. Just Furious. The next morning. I called my lawyer because I wanted to know if there was any way to get my money back and he said probably not since I had given it as a gift and there were no conditions attached, but he said I could try to contact the vendors and explain the situation and see if any of them would be willing to refund me since the wedding was still two weeks away. I started calling all the vendors and most of them said they couldn't refund. fund me because they had already ordered flowers and food and booked staff for the date, but a few of

them said they might be able to work something out and I started getting this idea that maybe I didn't have to just sit there and take this shit from Sia and maybe there was. Something I could do. I spent the next few days thinking about it and getting more and more pissed off every time I thought about Sia calling me just a checkbook and telling me that Jones was more of a father to her than I was and how she was just going to take my $30,000 and then not even let me come to the wedding and I decided I wasn't going to. Let her get away with treating me like that. So I started calling the vendors back and this time,

instead of asking for refunds, I told them I wanted to cancel everything and most of them freaked out because the wedding was only 10 days away at that point, but I told them I was the one who had paid for everything and I had receipts and contracts with. My name on them and I wanted everything canceled immediately. The venue was the hardest one

because they said they had already set up their schedule and staffed the event, but I threatened to sue them if they didn't cancel and I told them I would leave bad reviews everywhere and eventually they agreed to cancel but they and I said fine whatever. Just cancel it. The caterer was actually pretty understanding and said they hadn't ordered the food yet so they could cancel without penalty and the florist said they could cancel but I'd lose the deposit and the photographer said the same thing and by the end of the week I had canceled everything

and I was out about $8,000 in deposits but I didn't care because I was so angry I just wanted Sia to suffer. I didn't tell Sia what I had done because I wanted her to find out on her wedding day and I know that sounds cruel, but I was so hurt and angry that I wanted her to feel even a fraction of what she had put me through and I wanted her to realize that actions have consequences in you. Can't just treat people like shit and expect them to keep giving you money. The week leading up to the wedding was torture because I kept wondering if I should call Sia and tell her what I had done or if I should try to fix things or if I was making a huge mistake but every time I thought about calling her, I remembered her saying that Jones was.

More of a father to her than I was and that I was just a checkbook and I'd get angry all over again and decide not to call. Three days before the wedding, Sia's friend Jessica called me and said that Sia was really stressed about the wedding and that she had been crying a lot and asking if anyone had heard from me and Jessica wanted to know if I was okay and if I was planning to come to the wedding and I told Jessica that Sia had made it very clear I wasn't welcome and. Jessica sounded confused and said that couldn't be right because Sia had been asking about me. I told Jessica what Sia had said about Jones walking her down the aisle and about me not being invited and Jessica was quiet for a long time and then she said she didn't know about any of that and that Sia had been telling people that I was being. Difficult about the why we weren't talking but she never said I wasn't invited and Jessica asked if there'd been some kind of misunderstanding.

For a minute I wondered if maybe Derek had lied to me or if there had been. been some kind of miscommunication but then I remembered the fight with Sia and how she had said all those horrible things about me just being a checkbook and how Jones was more of a father to her and I knew there was no misunderstanding and Sia had made her choice and now she was going to live with it. The day before the wedding I was a nervous wreck and I kept checking my phone to see if Sia would call and I kept thinking about going to the venue and telling them to set everything back up but I didn't have the money to pay all the vendors again and besides I was still so angry that I couldn't think straight and I kept.

Telling myself that Sia deserved this for treating me like garbage. That evening I got a call from the venue owner and he said he wanted to confirm that the wedding was definitely cancelled because he had been getting calls from wedding party members asking about set up times and he was confused because I had cancelled everything but people were. Still expecting the wedding to happen and I told him yes everything was and he should probably contact Sia directly to make sure she knew. About an hour later my phone started ringing and it was Sia and I almost didn't answer but I did and she was crying and screaming and asking me what I had done and why I had cancelled everything and I told her very calmly that since I wasn't invited to the wedding I didn't see any reason to pay for it and she started sobbing and saying that there had been a misunderstanding and that of course I was invited and that she needed me there. I asked her about Jones walking her down the aisle and she said that was just an idea they but they hadn't made a final decision and I said bull

because Derek had called me specifically to tell me I wasn't invited and that Jones was taking over all the Father Rolls and Sia said Derek had misunderstood and that she never said I couldn't come to her wedding. We argued for another hour and Sia kept crying and begging me to call the vendors and fix everything and she said she was sorry and that she loved me and that she needed her dad at her wedding and I wanted to believe her so badly but I knew. She was just panicking because her wedding was ruined and she was trying to manipulate me into fixing it. I told Sia that it was too late to fix anything and that maybe this would teach her not to treat people like shit and she started screaming at me again in calling me selfish and cruel and saying that I was ruining the most important day of. Her life and I said she ruined it herself when she decided I wasn't good enough to be her father and I hung up.

Sia called me back about 20 times that night but I didn't answer and she left all these voicemails crying and begging me to fix things and saying she would do anything and that she was sorry and that she loved me but I was so hurt and angry that I just deleted them all without listening to the whole messages. The next morning was the wedding day and I woke up feeling sick to my stomach because part of me was wondering if I had made a terrible mistake but then I remembered everything Sia had said about me just being a checkbook and about Jones being more of a father to her and I.

Got angry all over again and decided I had done the right thing. Around noon I started getting curious about what was happening at the venue so I called the owner and asked if I could get access to the security camera footage and he said that was a weird request but since I was technically the original client he could set up a live feed for me to. Watch and honestly I don't know why I wanted to see it. But I guess I needed to know what was happening. He had also mentioned that SIA had paid for the remaining amount after the Depository.

deposit for the venue to stay open for her wedding day. So there I was sitting in my living room watching a live feed of this empty venue while 200 people started showing up expecting a wedding and it was surreal and horrible and satisfying all at the same time and I felt like I was watching a movie except it was real life and I had caused all of it. The guests started arriving around 1 p.m. and at first they were just milling around looking there were no decorations and no staff and no signs of a wedding and I could see people checking their phones and talking to each other and looking worried and I felt this weird mix of satisfaction and guilt watching it all unfold. Sia showed up around 1.30 in her wedding dress and I could see her talking frantically to Derek

and her bridesmaids and she kept pointing at things and gesturing wildly and I knew she was trying to figure out what to do and part of me felt bad for her because she looked so panicked and desperate but mostly I just felt vindicated because this is. What happens when you treat your father like shit? I watched Sia run around the venue trying to talk to staff and figure out what was going on and she kept making phone calls and I assumed she was trying to reach the vendors to see if they could still provide services but of course they couldn't because everything had been cancelled and they had.

Other commitments and you can't just restart a $30,000 wedding the day of with no notice. More and more guests kept arriving and they were all dressed up and expecting a party and instead they found chaos and Sia in her wedding dress having what looked like a complete breakdown and I could see people trying to comfort her and others just standing. Around looking awkward and confused and some people started leaving after about an hour of waiting. The worst part was watching Sia's dress get dirty because she kept running around outside the venue trying to make phone calls and the ground was muddy from rain the night before and by 3 p.m. her beautiful white dress was covered in mud and she looked. Like she had been through hell. Abigail and Joan showed up around 2 p.m. and I could see them talking to Sia and trying to calm her down but there was nothing they could do because you can't just make a wedding appear out of four.

thin air and I wondered if Sia was telling them what I had done and if they knew I was responsible for the whole disaster. By 4 p.m. most of the guests had left and it was just Sia and Derek and the wedding party and some family members standing around this empty venue and Sia was still in her muddy wedding dress crying and I could see Derek trying to hold her, but she kept pushing him away and throwing her hands up in the air like she was having a complete meltdown. I watched for another hour and eventually everyone left and the venue was empty except for a few staff members who were cleaning up the mess and Sia was gone and I assumed she had gone home or to a hotel or somewhere to figure out what to do next and I turned off

the camera feed and just sat there in my quiet house wondering what I had done. That night Sia sent me a text that just said I will never forgive you for this and I wrote back good, now you know how it feels and that was the last communication we had and it's been three weeks now and I haven't heard from her at all and I don't expect to. People keep asking me if I regret what I did and honestly I don't know how to answer that because part of me is glad I stood up for myself and didn't let Sia walk all over me but another part of me knows I probably destroyed any chance of having a relationship with my and I'm not sure if my revenge was worth losing her forever. My sister thinks I'm an asshole and says I should have been the bigger person and just gone to the wedding even if I wasn't walking Sia down the aisle because at least I would have been there for her special day and we could have worked things out later but I think that's bullshit because Sia made it clear she didn't want me there and she was just using me for money. My brother says Sia got what she deserved and that she can't treat people like garbage and expect them to keep giving her money and that maybe this will teach her a lesson about respecting her father but I don't think Sia learned any less. except that I'm a cruel bastard who ruined her wedding day.

Some of my friends think I went too far and that canceling a wedding the day before is just cruel no matter what Sia did to me and they say I should have found another way to handle the situation that didn't involve destroying her special day but I honestly don't know what other options I had because talking to Sia didn't work and she had made up. Her mind that I wasn't good enough to be her father. I keep going back and forth in my head about whether I did the right thing and sometimes I feel completely justified and other times I feel like a monster who destroyed his daughter's wedding day out of spite and hurt feelings and I don't know which feeling is the right one or if both feelings

can be true at the same time. I don't know if I'm the asshole here or if Sia is the asshole or if we're both assholes but I know that our relationship is probably over forever and I'm not sure if I care anymore because I'm so tired of being hurt by her and I'm tired of trying to earn her love and respect when she clearly doesn't think I deserve. Either one. So tell me Reddit, am I the asshole for canceling my daughter's wedding after she told me I couldn't attend and replaced me with her stepfather, or did she get what she deserved for treating me like garbage? Update 1. I didn't expect this post to blow up like it did and I've been reading all your comments and I have to say I'm surprised by how divided everyone is because I thought for sure

everyone would tell me I'm an asshole but it seems like a lot of people think Sia got what she deserved and that actually makes me feel a little better about what I did a few people asked for more details about what exactly happened between Sia and me over the years and I guess I should explain that better because some of you seem to think I was a deadbeat dad who abandoned his kid and that's not what happened at all when Abigail and I got divorced Sia was 16 and she was really angry about the whole thing and Abigail was telling her all kinds of lies about me and turning her against me and every time I tried to see Sia or talk to her Abigail would find some excuse to make it difficult or impossible.

I had joint custody legally but Abigail would schedule things during my weekends with Sia and then tell Sia I was being unreasonable when I asked her to reschedule and Sia started to believe that I didn't care about spending time with her because Abigail was poisoning her against me. I tried so hard to maintain a relationship with Sia during those last two years of high school but she was living with Abigail full time and Abigail was controlling everything and making me look like the bad guy and eventually Sia just stopped wanting to see me at all and would refuse to come to my house on my weekends. When Sia turned 18, she completely cut contact with me and

wouldn't return my calls or texts and I tried for years to reach out to her, but she had blocked me on everything and Abigail wouldn't give me any information about how Sia was doing or where she was living or anything. I sent Sia birthday cards and Christmas presents for years, but I never knew if she got them because she never responded and I felt like I was sending things into a black hole and I started to wonder if I should just give up and let her live her life without me since that seemed to be what she wanted. It wasn't until Sia turned 21 that she finally reached out to me and said she wanted to have coffee and talk and I was so excited I could barely contain myself and when we met up she apologized for cutting me off and said she had been angry and confused and that Abigail had told her a lot of things that weren't true. We started rebuilding our relationship slowly and it was really hard because there was so much hurt and mistrust on both sides but I thought we were making.

progress and I was so grateful to have my daughter back in my life even if things weren't perfect between us. So when people say I abandoned Sia or wasn't there for her that's not fair because I tried everything I could to stay in her life but Abigail made it impossible and Sia believed her mother's lies about me and chose to cut me off and I can't be blamed for that. Anyway, since I posted this I've gotten a few calls from people who were at the wedding a complete breakdown after everyone left and had to go to the hospital because she couldn't stop hyperventilating and throwing up and Derek's mom called me to tell me that and to say she thought I should know.

I felt bad hearing that Sia was in the hospital, but mostly I just felt numb because I'm so tired of feeling guilty about everything and I'm tired of people expecting me to fix things when Sia was the one who caused all this mess in the first place. Derek's mom also told me that Sia and Derek postponed their honeymoon indefinitely and that Sia has been staying at Abigail's house and won't talk to anyone and that she's been crying constantly and not eating and everyone is really worried about her. I know some of you will think I should reach out to Sia and try to fix things, but I honestly don't know what I would say to her because I'm still so angry and hurt and I don't think

she's genuinely sorry for what she did. I think she's just sorry that her wedding got ruined and if I hadn't cancelled everything she never would have apologized for treating me like shit. Abigail called me yesterday and screamed at me for about 10 minutes about how I'm a terrible father and how I destroyed Sia's life and how I'm cruel and vindictive and all this other stuff and I just let her yell because honestly I expected it and I don't care what Abigail thinks about me anymore. Abigail said that Sia never actually said I couldn't come to the wedding and that Derek

misunderstood the situation and told me the wrong thing but I know that's bullshit because Sia and I had that huge fight where she said all those horrible things about me. I told Abigail that if Sia wanted to fix things she could call me herself and apologize for real, not just because her wedding got cancelled but for all the cruel things she said to me and for treating me like I was nothing more than a source of money, but Abigail said Sia is too devastated to talk to anyone right now. Honestly, I don't know if Sia and I will ever have a relationship again and I'm starting to think maybe that's for the best because I'm so tired of being hurt by her and I'm tired of walking

on eggshells and trying to earn her love when she clearly doesn't think I deserve it. Some of you asked if I would do it again and the answer is yes, absolutely, because Sia needed to learn that she can't treat people like garbage and expect them to keep giving her money and supporting her and maybe this will teach her to think before she says cruel things to the people who love her. I know canceling the wedding was extreme but Sia's behavior was extreme too and I don't think there's anything wrong with standing up for yourself when someone is treating you badly, even if that someone is your own daughter. Update too well, things have gotten even more interesting since my last update and I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry about what's been happening because it's all so fucking ridiculous and I can't believe this is my life right now. So last week Derek showed up at my house unannounced and I almost didn't answer the door because I figured he was there to yell at me about ruining his wedding but when I opened the

door he looked like absolute hell like he hadn't slept in weeks and had been living on coffee and stress. Derek said he needed to talk to me and that there were things I didn't know about what happened before the wedding and I was tempted to slam the door in his face but I was curious so I let him in and made him some coffee and listened to what he had to say. Turns out Derek has been doing some digging since the wedding disaster and he found out that Abigail and Jones had been pressuring Sia for months to exclude me from the wedding and that Sia had been torn about it and didn't know what to do and that's why she had been acting weird and distant leading up to the wedding.

Derek said that Abigail kept telling Sia that I had abandoned her when she was younger and that I only came back into her life when it was convenient for me and that I was just trying to buy her love with money and that if she really wanted to start her new life right she should cut ties with me completely. According to Derek, Jones was the one who suggested that he should walk Sia down the aisle instead of me and Abigail kept pushing the idea and telling Sia that Jones had been more of a father to her during her teenage years and that it would be more meaningful if he was the one to give her away. Derek was upset because she did want me at the wedding, but she also didn't want to upset Abigail and Jones and she was getting pressure from both sides and she didn't know how to handle it and she kept going back and forth about what to do. Apparently the decision to exclude me from the wedding wasn't entirely Sia's idea and she had been manipulated by Abigail and Jones and wanted to hurt me and they saw the wedding as the perfect opportunity to drive a wedge between Sia and me permanently. Derek also told me that when Sia said those horrible things

about me just being a checkbook being more of a father to her, she was basically repeating things that Abigail had been saying to her for weeks and that Sia was confused and angry and just lashing out because she felt trapped between everyone's expectations. I asked Derek why he was telling me all this now and he said that after the wedding disaster Sia had a complete breakdown and during her breakdown she admitted that she had made a huge mistake and that she never actually wanted to exclude me from the wedding but she felt pressured by her mother and stepfather to choose sides. Derek said that Sia has been inconsolable since the wedding

and that she's been saying over and over that she ruined everything and that she lost her father forever and that she wishes she had never listened to Abigail and Jones and that she should have stood up to them and insisted that I be included in the wedding. Part of me wanted to feel vindicated hearing all this, but mostly I just felt tired and sad because it confirmed what I had suspected all along. That Abigail was still trying to poison Sia against me even. after all these years and that Sia was still letting her mother manipulate her.

Derek said that Sia wants to reach out to me, but she's too ashamed and embarrassed and she doesn't know how to apologize for everything that happened and she's convinced that I hate her now and will never forgive her for what she did. I told Derek that I didn't hate Sia, but I was still very hurt and angry and that I wasn't sure if we could fix our relationship after everything that had happened and Derek said he understood but he hoped I would consider giving Sia another chance because she was genuinely sorry and she loved me. Derek also told me that he and Sia are having serious problems in their marriage because Sia is so depressed and guilty about what happened and she can't function normally and

she spends most of her time crying and blaming herself for ruining everything and Derek doesn't know how to help her. He said they never went on their honeymoon and they're living in separate bedrooms right now because Sia can't stand to be touched or comforted and she just wants to be alone with her guilt and self-hatred and Derek is worried she might hurt herself. if things don't get better soon. After Derek left, I sat in my house for hours just thinking about everything he had told me and trying to figure out how I felt about it all and whether it changed anything about what

had happened and whether I should reach out to Sia or wait for her to contact me. I couldn't stop thinking about what Derek said about Sia being depressed and possibly suicidal and even though I'm still angry with her I don't want anything bad to happen to her because she's still my daughter and I still love her even though she hurt me so badly. Two days after Derek's visit I got a call from Jessica, Sia's friend, and she said that Sia had asked her to call me because Sia was too scared to call herself and Jessica said that Sia wanted me to know that she was sorry and that she loved me and that she knew she had made a terrible mistake.

Jessica said that Sia understood if I never wanted to see her again but that she hoped someday I might be able to forgive her and that she would do anything to make things right between us and that she missed me and regretted everything that had happened. I told Jessica that I appreciated Sia reaching out through her, but that if Sia really wanted to apologize she needed to call me herself and have a real conversation about what happened and why it happened and what she was going to do to make sure it never happened again. Jessica said she would tell Sia what I said and that she hoped Sia would find the courage to call me directly and we left it at that and I've been waiting for Sia to call me,

but she hasn't yet and I don't know if she will. Meanwhile Abigail has been calling me every few days to yell at me about how I'm destroying Sia's life and how I need to fix what I did and how I'm being cruel and vindictive and all the usual bullshit she's been saying for years. I finally told Abigail that if she hadn't spent the last eight years poisoning Sia against me none of this would have happened and that she was the one who manipulated Sia into excluding me from the wedding and that she was responsible for the disaster just as much as anyone else. Abigail denied manipulating Sia and said that Sia made her own choices and that I was just

looking for someone else to blame for my own actions, but I know Abigail is full of shit because Derek already told me what had been going on behind the scenes. I also told Abigail that if she really cared about Sia's well-being, she would stop interfering in our relationship and let Sia and me work things out ourselves without her constant manipulation and interference, but Abigail said she would always protect Sia from me because I'm toxic and harmful. The whole situation is just exhausting and I'm tired of all the drama and manipulation and I'm tired of Abigail using Sia as a weapon against me and I'm tired of Sia letting her mother control her life and make decisions for her. I still don't know if Sia and I will ever have a real relationship

again because there's been so much damage and so much hurt on both sides and I don't know if we can move past it all and trust each other again. But I will say that knowing Sia was manipulated by Abigail and Jones does make me feel slightly less angry about what happened even though Sia still chose to listen to them instead of fighting for our relationship and that's something hard time getting over. I don't know what's going to happen next and I don't know if Sia will ever find the courage to call me and have a real conversation about all this mess but I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for her because I've spent too many years of my life waiting for Sia to decide she wants me in her life. Final update. All right, Reddit, I think this is going to be

my last update because I'm honestly just tired of thinking about all this drama and I want to move with my life and stop obsessing over Sia and her problems. Sia finally called me two weeks ago and we had the conversation that Derek and Jessica had been pushing for and it was exactly as awkward and painful as I expected it to be and I'm not sure it accomplished anything other than making both of us cry and feel worse about the whole situation. Sia apologized for everything that happened and she admitted that she had let Abigail and Jones manipulate her and that she should have stood up for our relationship and insisted

that I be part of the wedding and she said she knew she had heard. me badly and that she regretted all the cruel things she had said to me. She also told me that she never actually wanted to exclude me from the wedding and that the whole thing had spiraled out of control because she was trying to keep everyone happy and she didn't know how to handle the pressure from Abigail and Jones and she made bad decisions because she was scared and confused. I listened to everything Sia had to say and I could tell she was genuinely sorry and that she was in a lot of pain about what had happened but I also felt like her apology was too little too late because the damage had already been done and I wasn't sure I could trust her not to hurt me again.

I told Sia that I appreciated her apology but that I was still very hurt and angry and that it was going to take time for me to get over what she had done to me and that I wasn't ready to just pretend everything was fine and go back to the way things were before. Sia started crying and begging me to give her another chance and saying that she would do anything to make things right between us and that she missed me and wanted me back in her life and that she couldn't live with the guilt of what she had done to me. The conversation went on for almost two hours and we both said a lot of things and cried a lot and by the end of it I felt emotionally drained and I wasn't sure if anything had been resolved

or if we had just reopened old wounds and made everything worse. Sia asked if we could start over and try to rebuild our relationship and I told her I needed time to think about it and that I couldn't make any promises about what our relationship would look like going forward and that she needed to accept that things might never be the same between us. Since that phone call Sia has been texting me regularly and sending me pictures of things that remind her of me and trying to engage me in conversations about random stuff and I can tell she's trying really hard to reconnect with me but it all feels forced and desperate. I've been responding to her texts but keeping my response is short and polite and I haven't initiated any conversations with her because I'm still not sure how I feel about everything and I don't want to give her false hope if I'm not ready to fully forgive her. Derek has also been reaching out to me periodically to give me updates on how Sia is doing and apparently she's been seeing a therapist and taking medication for depression and she's been working on setting boundaries with Abigail and Jones which I guess is progress.

Derek said that Sia and Abigail had a huge fight last week because Sia finally confronted her mother about manipulating her and poisoning her against me and Abigail got defensive and started screaming about how I was a terrible father and how Sia was making a mistake trying to reconcile with me. According to Derek, Sia told Abigail that she was tired of letting her control her relationships and that she was going to make her own decisions about who she wanted in her life and that Abigail needed to stop interfering and Abigail didn't take that well and they haven't spoken since. I also found out that Sia and Derek are doing better in their marriage and that they're planning to have a small ceremony with just immediate family to actually get married since their first wedding was such a disaster and Derek asked if I would consider coming if they invited me.

I told Derek I wasn't sure and that it would depend on where Sia and I stood at that point and whether I felt comfortable being around Abigail and Jones and whether I thought Sia was genuinely committed to having me in her life or if this was just another temporary reconciliation. The truth is I'm still really conflicted about the whole situation because on one hand I want to have a relationship with Sia and I miss her and I love her despite everything that happened but on the other hand I'm scared of getting hurt again and I don't trust that Sia won't let Abigail manipulate her again in the future. Maybe that makes me cynical,

but I've been hurt by Sia so many times over the years and I've gotten my hopes up about our relationship so many times only to have her pull away or choose Abigail over me and I'm tired of that cycle and I'm not sure I want to risk going through it again. Right now Sia and I are in this weird limbo where we're talking but we're not really close and we're both being careful not to say anything that might upset the other person and it doesn't feel. natural or comfortable and I don't know if it ever will again.

I've been seeing a therapist too because all this drama has really fucked with my head and I needed someone objective to talk to about everything other than Reddit off course and my therapist says that I need to focus on what I want for my future rather than what I wish had happened in the past. So I guess that's where things stand right now, Sia and I are talking but we're not really okay and I don't know if we ever will be and I'm trying to figure out what I want and what I'm willing to risk and whether it's worth trying to rebuild something that's been broken in so many times. I know some of you will think I should give Sia another chance and forgive her

and try to move forward and others will think I should cut my losses and go no contact permanently and honestly I can see the merit in both approaches and I'm still deciding which path I want to take. What I do know is that I'm done letting other people's drama control my life and I'm done walking on eggshells trying to keep everyone happy and I'm done sacrificing my own well-being for people who don't appreciate it and don't treat me with respect. Thanks for listening to all my drama Reddit and for all the comments and support in different perspectives because it's helped me think through everything and figure out what's important to me and what I'm willing to accept going forward.