Reddit Stories - Spouse ABANDONED our HOUSEHOLD to become part of a group that PROHIBITS romantic

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #marriage #abandonment #supportgroup #emotionalimpactSummary: A spouse left their family to join a group that forbids romantic relationships, causing emo...tional turmoil. The remaining partner struggles with feelings of betrayal and confusion, questioning the motivations behind such a drastic decision. This situation raises concerns about commitment and the impact of external influences on personal relationships.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, marriage, abandonment, emotionalimpact, supportgroup, familydynamics, personalgrowth, lifechoices, mentalhealth, community, trustissues, conflictresolution, selfdiscovery, loveandloss, copingstrategiesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Episode with two stories, first part. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse abandoned our household to become part of a group that prohibits romantic connections with acquaintances, then returns seeking acceptance after a long absence. I, a woman aged 29, got hitched half a dozen years ago, but have been divorced for three years now. I have two sons with my ex-husband Adam, 30M, aged four and five, but I have full custody of them since he didn't want to be bogged down because of his family. He and I were happily married for three years, had two beautiful kids, and were even planning on buying our own house so we could move out from the apartment we lived
Starting point is 00:00:40 in when he suddenly hit me with the I want to be single and explore the world right now. We'd been together since high school so we were all we knew. He was my first everything and I was his so I always assumed that for us. It was a together forever kind of thing and he was fine with not having been with enough people other than me. But after three years of being married, he told me that he wasn't happy and wanted us both to be free of this burden, talking about our marriage and our family so we could live our life to the fullest. It was all weird, free thinker talk like my dad would refer to it and I didn't understand any of it because I thought he loved me. And he insisted that he did love me, but he also
Starting point is 00:01:18 loved himself apparently and wanted to give himself a fair chance to explore the world. I even suggested opening up our marriage temporarily, no matter how much it hurt me, just so I could make sure that he stays married to me and doesn't actually leave, but he wasn't into that idea and was hell bent on getting divorced so that both of us could do this the right way. I was heartbroken after that discussion because it had literally come from nowhere and when I started crying in front of him, he told me that it'll all be fine and to have faith in our love because if we were meant to be then he'd find his way back. It was ridiculous and unfair, but that's how our marriage ended. One fine day, he just decided to pack his bags and leave so he could explore the world and be on his own for a while, leaving me and his two kids behind without giving a damn about what would happen to us. I'd even asked him what he thought was going to happen to the kids and he suggested that
Starting point is 00:02:07 I leave them with someone I trust and then I should go explore the world, travel and meet new people and live a generally adventurous life as well so I could grow. I was stunned because as far as I'm concerned, if we bring kids into this world then it's our responsibility to make sure we raise them well, protect them, and make sure all their needs are met. As a parent, you literally cannot and should not go running off to travel the world leaving your kid behind and that's what convinced me that he was completely off his rocker at the time. So I didn't fight the divorce anymore and didn't contest it. The settlement was easy since he didn't want anything and was ready to give it all up. His parents were loaded so the alimony and child
Starting point is 00:02:45 support wasn't a big issue either. He got visitation rights but he rarely ever visited and even when he would, he'd make me drop the kids off at his parents' place and then wait in another room so he could meet them without being reminded of the past, but even those visits stopped after the first couple of months. I found out the real reason behind the change in his behavior a lot later from a friend of mine, Rachel, who happened to have a couple of friends in common with Adam. Rachel's cousin happened to be part of the friend's circle that Adam had been influenced by and she's the one who told me about them. About two months after the divorce. I don't her for not telling me earlier because she and her cousin weren't exactly close so she hadn't
Starting point is 00:03:23 found out about the truth until after the divorce was done with. Besides, even if I did know the truth, it wouldn't have changed anything about the divorce. Anyway, Rachel's cousin, according to what she told me, led a very promiscuous, wild, and adventurous lifestyle. Not just him but his entire friend group of about six or seven men believed that we shouldn't be tied down by relationships and had made a pact to remain single. Adam had been introduced. to this friend's circle by a coworker of his who'd believe that he'd get along well with these guys, even though he wasn't single and couldn't be part of that school of thought, given that he was married with two kids at that point.
Starting point is 00:04:00 But Rachel's cousin had bragged to her and a couple of other family members that they'd managed to convert a guy into believing that he didn't need to stay with his wife and kids, that he apparently needed to shed this dead weight so he could move on and do better in life and that's what he'd done by divorcing his wife and giving up custody of his kids so he could finally fully commit to their ideology. He'd been bragging about the cult-like status of their group and how they'd managed to turn someone into one of them, which meant that there was definitely something powerful and compelling about their beliefs.
Starting point is 00:04:31 So Rachel, out of curiosity, had asked her cousin what this guy looked like because she wanted to know what kind of a man would just abandon his family because of what his new friend said, especially a married man with two kids. Then when her cousin pointed to Adam in a group photo they'd taken, she put two and two together and texted me about it literally as soon as she was out of the event. This had all taken place at a family gathering of hers and once that was done with, she'd immediately asked me if I was willing to meet her and thankfully, I'd said yes so she'd rushed over to my apartment and spilled the beans on what had happened with Adam.
Starting point is 00:05:04 To say that I'd been furious would be an understatement when I learned what the real reason behind my husband's decision to leave had been. He'd done this to fit into some stupid group and to be seen as a person who was brave and adventurous and stuff. He'd left his wife and kids behind for something like that, and when I got to know the real reason behind his ridiculous behavior, I honestly felt like I would have been happier if he just slept with another woman. At least that would have been a more respectable reason to end his marriage and abandon
Starting point is 00:05:30 his children but this? Yeah, this just didn't cut it. I wanted to call him and curse him out but didn't because after learning the real reason for his departure, I was convinced that he was just crazy. There were no two ways about it and there was also no point in hoping that maybe saying, or doing something would make him change his mind. It wouldn't and I knew that now, so I just decided to make the best of my circumstances and raise my sons to be better men than their father had been and also to work harder at my own job and make sure they never felt abandoned.
Starting point is 00:06:00 So I hired a nanny and started working twice as hard at the office so I wouldn't have to bring the office home with me, and as soon as I'd come back home, all my time would be spent with my kids. My parents helped out a lot and occasionally even my in-laws tried to help but kept it to a minimum, probably out of shame for what their son had done. They were the ones who were paying the child support installments every month and I knew it because from what I'd heard, Adam was busy blowing all his money on trips to exotic locations at high-end hotels. Now that he had no family to think of, he could spend all his money on crap like that and nobody would bat an eye. I raised my kids to the best of my abilities and now I have too sweet,
Starting point is 00:06:39 obedient and adorable little guys who love me and each other. We're all the family we need and I've pretty much pushed my marriage out of my mind altogether because that was just annoying to think of. I've also paid my dues at work so now I'm in a great position and earned double the amount than I used to earlier. I've been doing great for the last two years and I didn't think that I had anything to worry about anymore until last week when Adam finally showed up after almost three years of being completely AWOL. My kids and I were at home since it was a Sunday. We have enough money to buy our own house now, but I've stayed in the same apartment since I really love this place and it's convenient for the commute to work as well.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Clearly, I should have moved because, unfortunately, since I'd remained in the same place, Adam knew where to find me. He just showed up at our door randomly that day and I think it must have knocked the wind out of me to see him after almost three years. Neither of us said anything for the first couple of seconds but I took in his appearance. The crazy big bouquet of red roses he was holding, and the way of the world of the one way he was smiling with tears in his eyes. Call me heartless, but I didn't feel moved or emotional, but I just felt pure hatred for him
Starting point is 00:07:46 and before he could say anything, I slammed the door shut with such force that I swear I felt the floorboard shake. I told my kids to go inside because I knew he was going to try and convince me of something or the other and I wasn't going to keep it PG-13, all the hatred, hurt and anger was bubbling up and I didn't want my kids to see whatever ugly fight was about to happen next. Sure enough, as soon as I'd told my kids to leave, Adams started whining about how this wasn't the welcome back that he'd been expecting. I could hear that he was trying hard not to cry, but really, all that did was just aggravate me even more. He was the one who'd put me through all this crap
Starting point is 00:08:23 for years and now he had the audacity to cry and act like the victim. He then went on to tell me that he'd come back to apologize and to say that he was sorry for all that he'd done in the past, but now, he just wanted his old life back. I was shocked. but I let him go on because a part of me wanted to hear this apology or whatever that it was supposed to be because it had been three years and I'd never had any sort of closure. I'd put it out of my mind but seeing him again had brought it all back and I guess in some sick way, I was really relishing the opportunity to show him his place. Just so he would know that we were all better off without him and nobody missed him in his absence.
Starting point is 00:08:58 He went on for a couple of minutes about how he'd had his fun in these past couple of years but at the end of the day, he'd just feel empty because he had nobody to come home to except for empty hotel rooms. He confessed that he'd been feeling like he was missing something for the last couple of months and he'd finally made the very difficult decision of coming back and apologizing now so he can finally make amends. Apparently, the high of traveling and exploring life with his new group of friends had worn off after the first few months, but he'd continue to stick to that lifestyle because he was too afraid to come back. He felt like since he'd sacrificed a lot for that life, He had to fully commit to it, but now he couldn't imagine going back and just wanted his old life back.
Starting point is 00:09:38 The more he talked, the more I felt like opening the door and punching him in his stupid face as hard as I could. I couldn't tolerate any more of his BS, so I told him to just leave us alone and that I didn't want to see him or talk to him at the moment. But Adam being Adam, he believed that he could change my mind by continuing to ramble and standing outside the door and begging me to come back to him. After a point, it started getting on my nerves and I also had to bring the kids out of their room so I could serve them dinner so I just hit the door and yelled out that were not his family anymore so he needed to go away now. I think that took him in shock because, after that, I didn't hear him anymore. As soon as I'd given the kids their dinner, I called my attorney and told her
Starting point is 00:10:18 everything that had happened just to be on the safe side. Then I called my parents and told them about Adam's visit, whatever he had said, and then what I'd said. They reassured me that I did done the right thing given the circumstances and that I had nothing to worry about. I didn't call my in-laws because I didn't know what to say to them about any of this and I'm sure they'd find out later from their son anyway. But as soon as I was done with those calls, I received a call from Rachel and since she'd been the one to inform me about the real reason why Adam had left all those years ago, I answered the call because I had a feeling she'd tell me something about Adam. And I was right since as soon as I answered the call, she asked me if Adam had come around, and when I said
Starting point is 00:10:58 yes, she told me that her cousin had called her up to inform her why. Rachel and I are really close friends and have always been, even apart from this situation with Adam where she's been a major source of information for me regarding him, thanks to her cousin. After she'd told me about whatever her cousin had told her all those years ago, she told her cousin that if there was anything he found out about Adam. He was supposed to come straight to her since I was the one he'd screwed over. When her cousin found out about me, I guess he stopped feeling very proud of himself about converting Adam but I don't blame them. I blame Adam for being so easy to influence. Her cousin had promised us that he'd keep us updated
Starting point is 00:11:37 on him and had even reached out to apologize to me one time after he learned about me. I'd forgiven him since I never had anything against the guy but were not friends or anything. He'd tell Rachel what Adam was up to, which is how I knew what he'd been up to since he'd blocked me after the divorce. And so now Rachel's cousin had contacted her to tell her the truth about why exactly Adam had returned and she then passed on the information to me. Their friend's circle had a group text ever since they all met each other and a couple of hours before Adam showed up at my door, he'd sent a text to the group telling everyone about what he was about to do. The guys had been supportive but Adam had apparently lashed out at them for their fake
Starting point is 00:12:15 support. He'd told all the other guys that he felt cheated by them since he'd left his entire life behind but they betrayed him by getting into relationships over the years and now, he was the only fool who's left his wife and kids behind to travel and have fun with his boys. The other guys, who were now all dating, by the way, told him that it wasn't fair of him to expect that they'd always stick to one school of thought for their entire life and especially when they'd come up with that ideology about not being tied down and stuff back when they were in their mid-20s and were still relatively young. But right now, most of the guys were pushing 30 and didn't want that lifestyle anymore. In fact, a couple of the guys were already in serious, committed relationships that had already
Starting point is 00:12:56 lasted more than a year, and one of them was even engaged. So all that they'd talked a big game about back in the day had just been thrown straight out of the window and the only person suffering now was Adam since he'd been the only guy stupid enough to buy into whatever rubbish these guys were spewing. Adam then got into a huge fight with these guys because these were the same people who had actually congratulated him when he'd left me and now they were all trying to get a taste of the life that he'd left behind on purpose. Even though the guys were still being supportive now when he'd told them that he wanted to go back to his old life, it wasn't enough for him and he wanted
Starting point is 00:13:29 them to apologize for making him leave his wife and his kids. That's what their fight was about and the other guys refused to apologize and rightfully so. They'd just told him about their beliefs, but they'd never said that he needed to leave us to be part of their circle. He'd have to give up any ideas of going around the world with them and having the kind of fun they'd do since he had responsibilities at home and had to think of me and his kids, but he could have still remained friends with them. They'd never given him any ultimatum or whatever, but it had been his own personal choice to abandon us all for the life he thought he wanted just so he could fit in. And he was doing the same thing yet again, now that most of the guys were in relationships.
Starting point is 00:14:07 He felt the pressure to fit in yet again, and that's why he'd come back to us. Not out of any sense of duty or because he felt empty like he'd told me. Maybe that could have been part of the reason, the whole reason and when I heard about all of this from Rachel, my blood boiled because I'd felt a little guilty for turning him away and that's why I'd had to call my parents for reassurance. Had I known these things before he came by then he would have really received the bashing of a lifetime from me but Rachel's cousin had been extremely busy with work at the time all these things were being discussed in their group text and he hadn't checked his phone so he didn't know. When he did find out after work, he told Rachel about it as soon as he could
Starting point is 00:14:45 and then she called me to tell me about it, so I ended up finding out after Adam had already visited and we talked. However, now that I knew what he was really here for, I also made up my mind that I wouldn't let him come back at any cost and neither would I feel bad about it. He'd never ever felt bad about the things that he'd done and put me and his kids through, so I didn't see the need for me to feel so guilty about it either. He was just a terrible person, period. And this was the way it was going to be, so I steeled myself for his next attempt to try and come back, but it never happened. For the next couple of days, I didn't hear from him and even though
Starting point is 00:15:19 I'd told Rachel to ask her cousin about him, he told me that he had no idea what Adam had been up to either since he'd blocked all the guys from the group after that fight. Even Rachel's cousin had been blocked, in spite of the fact that he had nothing to do with the fight and hadn't even known about it until later. It was a bigger issue for me now since if Rachel's cousin was blocked, it meant that I'd have no way of being in the loop regarding what he was going to do next. Adam was the kind of guy who discusses something as small and insignificant as buying a shoe with other people before he actually goes through with it, so of course he'd discuss everything with his friends before actually doing anything.
Starting point is 00:15:54 But now that Rachel's cousin was blocked, I had no way of knowing anything. So naturally when my in-laws called me three days ago, I was caught completely off guard and didn't know what to expect. They told me that they were calling to discuss what I'd said to Adam the other day when he'd come to visit me and make things right with me. I told them that I didn't want him back and it was just as simple as that, but they went on to tell me that they'd continued to pay child support and had made sure that their kids grew up well, so I had no right to say that this wasn't his family anymore. We got into a verbal spat over it because they were actually defending him
Starting point is 00:16:29 and then I ended up hanging up on them. I'd been thinking about it, but I can't even begin to fathom how exactly I'm in the wrong here. I just don't think that that's the case here but my in-laws were right that they'd held up their end of the agreement and Adams still has visitation rights, he's just not used them in a while. I don't understand what to do right now. On one hand, I really do wish for my kids to have a father, even though I know I'm enough for them at the moment, but I don't want to deprive them of anything. I don't even know if it's legally my place yet. I just can't figure out what to do right now and my kids are honestly all that I'm thinking of at the moment. I'd have for telling my ex-husband that my kids and I are not his family anymore after
Starting point is 00:17:09 he left us behind for three years? Update 1. Hi. Thank you for all the comments and help. I've decided that I'm going to appeal and get the custody arrangement changed so he doesn't have visitation rights either. I don't know if I'll succeed or not, but it's worth a try. It's been two days since I posted here and that's the advice that most of you guys had for me so I'm doing that and my parents agree with it, too. Paying child support just meant that Adam and his parents had held up the legal end of the arrangement, but everything else was all me. I'd raise my kids while he had his fun with the guys.
Starting point is 00:17:44 He doesn't get to pick and choose when he can be a part of our lives and be with us on his terms. Update 2. I filed for termination of Adam's parental rights earlier today, and I really, really regret not having done so sooner. I should have done it as soon as he stopped coming around to see the kids after the first couple of months when he left us the first time but oh, well, better late than never. A lot of people here had a lot to say about me making this move, but I take my words back about not depriving my kids of a father. They never had a present dad in the first place and there's no telling if Adam might want to take off someday again. He was absent for three years so now he can
Starting point is 00:18:22 take a permanent leave from being a parent and go do whatever it is that he wants to do but not at the cost of my emotions or my kid's well-being. That's not okay with me. And I really don't think I'm depriving my kids of anything at all since they never had a father anyway, so it's not like they're going to miss him. Update 3, so, I didn't manage to get his rights terminated altogether, but at least now he can only meet the kids as long as the visits are supervised by me. At least that's something and he can't just push us around anymore. If he can prove to the court that he's capable and fit to be a consistent father, then maybe we can renegotiate this arrangement sometime, but as of now, this is the best that he can get out of us. As for me, he's not getting back with me ever and that's non-negotiable. After the court hearing, when he tried to talk to me again, I'd snapped at him and finally told
Starting point is 00:19:11 him that I knew all about his pathetic need to fit in with his friends and told him that he could go marry them instead because I'm done and if he wasn't the father of my kids then I probably wouldn't even have spit on someone like him. Then I walked off with the kids and left him and his parents staring at me open-mouthed, which was pretty damn satisfying. Anyway, that's how it is now. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm glad that this all worked out well for the children at least. They're my only concern so now.
Starting point is 00:19:39 If Adam can become a responsible father and finally step up as a dad, then maybe my kids won't have to go through life without a dad. And maybe they won't have to learn to shave from online tutorials, but if he tries anything even remotely funny ever again, then he'll have hell to pay for. He's messed with my head enough as it is, but he's not going to put our kids through anything of the sort. That's the end of the first story. Let's begin the second one. I hope you enjoy this story. I inadvertently sparked a conflict between my relatives and my sibling's spouse's relatives with a single harmless message. As a result, my sibling's marriage ceremony took place just 48 hours ago, and it transformed into a complete chaos which I know even though I don't were there, you might wonder why I didn't attend the wedding if it's my brothers.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Well, it's because of his wife's family. He did send me an invitation to the wedding because he wanted me there but his fiancé told him I couldn't attend because I had a boyfriend. You might be confused, but I'm a man, a bisexual man to be exact and I have a boyfriend who I wanted to bring to the wedding. She said even though she doesn't have a problem with that and he doesn't have a problem with that her extremely religious parents who already forced her to do the wedding in a church would most likely banish us from the wedding and cause trouble between our families. After she told him that my brother told me I couldn't attend and told me why, you might think I was angry, the truth is I was relieved. I hate going to big events with lots of people because of my social anxiety and I already was used to not being able to attend certain events because of my sexuality so it was nothing
Starting point is 00:21:13 I haven't heard before. So at the day of the wedding I stayed at home with my boyfriend. It's worth mentioning my parents apparently didn't know I wasn't attending the wedding. I was chilling at home cuddling with my boyfriend when I suddenly got a text message from my parents asking me where I was because they couldn't find me at the wedding party. I told them I wasn't attending the wedding and if my brother hasn't told them anything, they said no and asked me what happened. I didn't saw any reason to lie so I sent them a text message telling them exactly why, now I have to admit I don't exactly know what happened after I sent them this message because they read it but didn't reply and why do they care in the first place. They didn't notice I wasn't there before until the wedding was already over, they only noticed when the wedding party started. However, apparently my parents talked to my brother about it and all of a sudden my absence was the main topic of the wedding party.
Starting point is 00:22:06 From what I heard, two fronts formed, on the one hand my parents and the rest of my family against the family of my brother's wife and apparently he as a husband now felt compelled to take her side and tried to argue in her favor. It's crazy to think that I was just sitting at home living my best life with my boyfriend while all of that shit went down on his wedding. The wedding party was ruined and my brother appeared on my door angrily screaming at me why I felt the need to ruin his wedding. I was confused and asked him what happened and he told me everything. I told him it wasn't my intention. I just told our parents what happened because they didn't know and wanted to know where I was and I thought he told them beforehand. He screamed at me that I ruined his wedding. I told him it's not my fault he wasn't honest with them.
Starting point is 00:22:52 I just respected their wish to not attend the wedding. I couldn't know it would go down like this because like I said I couldn't attend several events before because of my sexuality and my parents never said anything about it so I thought it would be the same thing here. But I got to admit it's kind of sweet that my parents and the rest of my family stood up for me, they haven't done it before, that's a more than welcome change, but I still feel feel kind of bad because apparently I really ruined the wedding party. Update 1 posted on June 2nd, 2023. Update, I accidentally caused a war between my family and my brother's wife's family with one
Starting point is 00:23:29 innocent text message. Didn't thought I'd give an update but many interesting things happened, so after my brother's visit his wife and him went to honeymoon, and the way the wedding party went might have been even worse than I imagined, what happens now is incredible. When I said in the main post that two fronts had, formed, I only meant that metaphorically, of course, but it's no longer that. While nothing much interesting happened in the first two days afterwards the terror started as soon as my brother and his wife went on their honeymoon. My mom and my dad visited me and told me how the wedding party escalated and they were so close
Starting point is 00:24:05 to physical violence, I thought it was funny at first but this truly bothers me. me, I also want to point that you did a great job at convincing me it's not my fault, but hearing my parents' side still gave me a bad feeling in my stomach. However, like I said, the terror started shortly after they went to their honeymoon, and when I say terror I mean that my Sills family found both my Facebook and Instagram account and started spamming me with hateful messages. I received insults and hateful messages from various different accounts who all had one thing in common, they all had somewhat of a Christian theme and all of them had the same last name, it wasn't hard to find out whose accounts it was, mainly because I don't know my Sills family
Starting point is 00:24:43 at all, I only know her and I know her parents were homophobic Christians. But whatever, they not only started attacking me, they also found the account of my boyfriend over my account because were linked as a couple and started to send them the same messages. The messages contained on one side typical bigot stuff like, you're burning in hell for your sins, one even called me and my boyfriend two devils in disguise. The other side were just blatant insults. You get the idea. I called my parents and told them what they are doing, then I sent a text message to my brother with screenshots of the messages his wife's family sent me to which he replied that I shouldn't disturb him with that during his honeymoon as I already destroyed his wedding party.
Starting point is 00:25:23 I couldn't believe it, he was just like them, he did send me an apology after my mom told me she called him, but none of this is the main reason I'm giving you this. Update this early, because I got a call this morning from an unknown number, I hesitated because I thought it was one of them, and I was right but it was none of the people who insulted me. I heard a woman's voice who introduced herself as the half-sister of my brother's wife. She said it didn't went unnoticed what her family was doing and she wanted to apologize for them. I told her I'm not going to tell anyone in her family about this and that I don't blame her for her family's actions. She thanked me and hung up. I don't know why, but I have this feeling she only
Starting point is 00:26:01 did this to protect her family from being reported. My mother wrote to me earlier that she wants to report the insults and the harassment of these people and that she demands for my brother to divorce his wife where she will disinherit him from her will because that's not how she raised him a little radical in my opinion but i understand where she's coming from this entire thing escalated so much it's unbelievable thank you all for your support on my first post in between updates i posted this on his profile why am i so casual about this entire situation Some of you are wondering why I seem so calm and casual in the update when I'm discriminated against. The truth is that I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years now and the things that happen now are nothing compared to what I've been through.
Starting point is 00:26:46 I receive hateful messages almost daily, not only from their accounts but in general, and I learned to ignore that. There have been way worse situations, such as when my boyfriend went to visit his family and I couldn't go with him, we kissed each other goodbye on the train station, and when the train left and no one saw it a group of guys at. attacked me, I was sent to hospital because of severe injuries, just to give you an idea what I had to deal with in the past. And don't get me wrong, we will report my Sills family but what they are doing is nothing I haven't seen a thousand times before. Update 2 posted on June 12, 2023. Update 2, I accidentally caused a war between my family and my brother's wives' family with one innocent text message. It's been a few days, first of all, me and my boyfriend are fine, luckily for us they didn't go any further than their text messages. My mom filed a report
Starting point is 00:27:39 against them. I don't know the current situation about that as I haven't filed the report myself. The reason I update you is a different one, first of all, one person in my Sills family is actually going to testify in my favor and against her family. It really takes courage to do so. It's the same person that called me in the last update. Somehow they found out that she is into women, no reason to hide it anymore, however she said she's fine and is going to stay at a friend's house. I have so much respect for what she does, imagine the strength you need to testify against your own family. I now feel bad for assuming she only called me to save her family from being reported. More importantly, what is the current situation with my brother? Well, my mom talked to him and
Starting point is 00:28:23 told him to leave his wife or she will disinherit him from her will. He decided to stay with his wife and my mom made her threat come true, he's no longer in her will, my father did the same. When I visited them I also told them that I wished that this entire situation went different, they assured me it's not my fault but I feel like if it wasn't for me then my family wouldn't be ripped apart like this. Haven't talked to my brother since then, my boyfriend feels similar, he also told me he kind of feels responsible for all this chaos, I assured him it's not his fault, but honestly I wasn't even sure if I could say this in my position. On the other hand, it was my Sills family's bigotry that ruined everything and everything would have been fine if I could have just attended.
Starting point is 00:29:05 But now it's time for me to grow distant to this situation. We see what the report will do, I followed your advice too. Document everything. The insulting and harassing messages continued until two days ago, so I have much to say about them. Unfortunately, homophobia is still very much normalized in our society, I already said it in a post in my profile. but the reason I'm so calm and casual about the situation is the simple fact that I'm used to situations like this. They don't get to me anymore. If I let any insult get to me I wouldn't make it for a long time.
Starting point is 00:29:39 It's a coping mechanism. I've been into situations where I was sent into hospital because I kissed my boyfriend in public, so insults and harassment like theirs is nothing I haven't seen before. I want to say thank you for all your support on my first two posts. Update 3 posted on August 22nd, 2023. Final update, I accidentally caused a war between my family and my brother's wife's family with one innocent text message. I think some of y'all are waiting for an update so here I am, keep in mind that this update will probably be the last one. So last time I told you my mother was pressing charges against them and to my surprise we won,
Starting point is 00:30:19 they weren't going to jail or anything but they had to pay for their actions, literally, there was one incident. where my still dad was actually trying to find out where I lived and asked my brother who told him, only God knows what he would have done to us if we still had lived there, but in the time span of the last two months me and my boyfriend moved to a different place which my brother didn't. Know anything off, also their social media accounts were deleted, however I don't know if this was part of their punishment or if they did it themselves. My mom has also carried out the threat towards my brother and disinherited him from her will.
Starting point is 00:30:52 after he came back from his honeymoon he begged her to put him in again, she said only if he apologized to me, she invited me and my boyfriend over and my brother sat in the living room with this mad look on his face, she made him apologize but I didn't accept this apology because I could tell it wasn't sincere. He did it because he had to and not because he was actually sorry, I told my brother that I, and disappointed in him for who he became, before that we had this huge bond usually never judged each other for stuff like this and all of a sudden he has such a problem with me having a boyfriend, I just don't get it, I told him that I missed the old him, he didn't respond to anything. He just sat there quietly staring at the bottom. After I
Starting point is 00:31:32 finished he just got up and left. This was the last time I spoke with him and it's already been a few weeks since this happened. My parents paid much more. Attention to the discrimination I face since this incident. They wanted to learn more about the problems I face as a queer person. I really love them. My dad even got a bisexual pride flag for me and asked if he could hang it in our bedroom. I love that I have such great parents. I just wished for my brother to become the person he once was, BTW. Since the case with my Sills family is over I didn't hurt anything about their lesbian daughter. She supported us during the process, but we lost contact afterwards and I just hope she's fine.

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