Reddit Stories - Spouse ACCUSED me of being SELF-CENTERED and CARELESS with money, handed me legal

Episode Date: July 4, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #marriage #moneyissues #legaladvice #accusationsSummary: My spouse accused me of being self-centered and careless with money, handing me legal documents. Struggling to understand their perspective, I seek advice on Reddit to navigate this challenging situation and mend our relationship.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, marriage, moneyissues, legaladvice, accusations, selfcentered, careless, financialdisputes, communication, conflictresolution, advice, support, marriageproblems, personalresponsibility, financialmanagement, legalproceedingsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse accused me of being self-centered and careless with money, handed me legal separation documents on our special day, relocated to a new partner's residence, and then returned begging for reconciliation upon discovering my increased earnings. Money than I'd ever earned. So here's the situation and I'm going to try to lay it out as clearly as I can, even though nothing about this feels clear to me right now.

My wife Sarah and I have been married for eight years and our anniversary was last month and instead of getting me a watch or cologne or literally anything normal. She handed me an envelope over dinner at this fancy restaurant I thought we were going to celebrate at and when I opened it there were divorce papers inside and she just sat there watching me read through them like she was waiting for me to thank her or something. I keep replaying that moment in my head and the way she looked so calm and collected while I felt like the floor was falling out from under me and I still can't understand how someone does that to a person they supposedly love.

The waiter came by to ask if we want a dessert right after I finished reading and I just stared at him because what do you even say in that situation and Sarah ordered Turamisu like nothing happened and ate the whole thing while I sat there trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. But let me back up because the real story starts about six months ago when the company I worked for got bought out by this massive corporation and they gave all the middle management people like me an ultimatum and it wasn't really an ultimatum at all because they made it clear what they wanted. They said we could either take a 20% pay cut and stay on with reduced responsibilities or we could take a severance package and leave and the way they presented it made it obvious they wanted most of us gone anyway. I've been with that company for 12 years and worked my way up from basically nothing and I loved my job and the people I worked with but 20% is a lot of money and we'd have to make some changes to our lifestyle but it wasn't like we'd be homeless or anything. Sarah makes decent money too as a dental hygienist and we don't have kids yet so I thought we could manage it and maybe it would even be good for us to live a little simpler and not worry so much about keeping up with everyone else. When I told Sarah about the situation I expected her to be supportive or at least understanding because that's what married couples do right and they work through challenges together but she immediately started talking about how this would affect our five-year plan and our savings goals and what would people think if we had to downsize the house. or get rid of one of the cars. She kept saying things like you need to think about our future and this isn't just about

you anymore and I started getting frustrated because I was thinking about our future and I thought staying at a job I liked even with less money was better than starting over somewhere else. The conversation got heated and she said I was being selfish and not considering her feelings and I said she was being shallow and only caring about money and we both said things we probably shouldn't have said, but at the time I thought it was just a normal fight that couples have when they're stressed about big decisions. She stormed off to her sister's house and didn't come home for two days and when she did come back she was cold and distant, but I figured she needed time to process and would come around once she saw that we could make it work. So I decided to

stay at the company and take the pay cut and I thought once Sarah saw that we weren't going to starve or lose the house, she'd realize I made the right choice, but instead she got more and more resentful and started making comments about how I gave up too easily and how a real man would have found a way to keep his full salary. She'd compare me to her friend's husbands who were getting promotions and raises, and she'd leave articles about career advancement lying around the house where I'd see them, and it felt like she was trying to make me feel like a failure. The worst part was how she started treating me like I was some kind of burden or charity case, and she'd make a big show of paying for dinner when we went out,

or she'd mention in front of other people that she was the breadwinner now, even though I was still making more money than her just not as much as before. It felt like she was punishing me for making a choice that affected both of us and I started to wonder if she'd ever really supported my career or if she just liked the money it brought in. But here's where it gets really messed up and I'm still trying to wrap my head around this part because it shows how calculating she was being the whole time. About three months after I took the pay cut I started getting restless

and thinking about maybe starting my own consulting business because I had all this experience and knowledge for my old job and I knew there were smaller companies that needed help with the kind of stuff I used to do. I mentioned it to Sarah and she was completely dismissive and said it was too risky and we couldn't afford for me to be unemployed while I tried to build a client base and she made it sound like I was being irresponsible and dreaming about something that would never work. So I didn't pursue it right away but the idea kept nagging at me and I started doing some research on the side and reaching out to former colleagues and clients just to see what kind of

interest there might be and the response was actually really encouraging. People remembered my work and several of them said they'd been frustrated with how things had changed since the buyout and would be interested in working with me independently and that gave me the confidence to start putting together a real business plan. I didn't tell Sarah about any of this because I knew she'd just shoot it down again and I wanted to have something concrete to show her before I brought it up and looking back I realized that was probably a mistake but at the time I thought I was being smart and practical. I spent about two months quietly laying the groundwork and lining up potential clients and figuring out the legal and financial stuff and when I finally had three solid contracts in hand I decided it was time to make the jump and quit my job.

The day I gave my notice I came home so excited to tell Sarah the news and show her the contracts and explain how much money I could potentially make if everything went according to plan but instead of being happy or proud she completely lost it and started screaming at me about how I'd made this huge decision without consulting her. her and how I was. Gambling with our future and how she couldn't trust me anymore. She said I was being reckless and selfish and that she felt like she didn't even know who I was and I tried to explain that I'd done all this research and planning but she wouldn't listen and just kept yelling about how I'd betrayed her trust. That fight was worse than any we'd ever had and it went on for hours with both of us saying horrible things and at one point she said she wished she'd never married me and that

she deserved better than someone who couldn't provide stability and I said maybe maybe she should find someone else then if that's how she really felt and she said maybe she would and then she grabbed her car keys and left and didn't come back until the next morning. After that things between us were basically frozen and we were living like roommates who couldn't stand each other and barely spoke except when we had to coordinate schedules or pay bills and the whole house felt toxic and hostile and I started spending. More and more time at Starbucks or other coffee shops just to get away from the tension. My business was actually doing really well and within the first month I'd made almost as much as I would have at my old job even with the pay cut and by the second month I was making more than my original salary but Sarah didn't seem to care or even notice.

Because she was so focused on being angry at me. I kept thinking things would get better once she saw that the business was successful and we were financially stable again but she never acknowledged it and if anything she seemed even more distant and started working late more often and going out with friends without inviting me and I started to. Suspect that something else was going on but I didn't want to be paranoid or accusatory so I tried to give her space and hoped we could work through it. Now here's where I need to explain what happened on our anniversary because it's important to understand just how cruel this whole thing was and I'm going to. getting angry again just thinking about it, but I need to get this out. Sarah suggested we go to this expensive restaurant that we've been to for our first anniversary and I thought maybe she was finally ready to talk and work on our marriage and I was actually hopeful that we could start over and put all the fighting behind us.

She dressed up nice and did her hair and makeup and seemed almost cheerful for the first time in months and I started to think that maybe she'd realized how successful the business was becoming and was ready to admit that I'd made the right choice after all. We ordered wine and appetizers and were actually having a decent conversation about normal stuff like work and her family and I was starting to relax and remember why I fell in love with her in the first place. Then after the main course arrived she reached into her purse and pulled out this Manila envelope and set it on the table between us and said she had an anniversary gift for me and I thought it might be tickets to something or maybe a nice card or photo of us from when we were happy and I was actually touched that she'd got me something after. months of barely acknowledging my existence. But when I opened the envelope and saw the divorce papers with my name already filled and I felt like dying inside and I looked up at her and she was just sitting there with this strange smile like she'd been waiting for this moment and was enjoying watching me realize what was happening. I asked her what this was supposed to mean and she said she thought it would be easier this way instead of having a big dramatic fight and that she'd already talked to a lawyer and figured out how to divide everything up fairly.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I asked her how long she'd been planning this and she said she'd started thinking about it seriously when I took the pay cut but it made up her mind when I quit my job without telling her and I said but the business is doing well now we're making more money than before and she just shrugged and said it. Wasn't about the money anymore it was about trust and compatibility and she didn't think we wanted the same things in life. The whole conversation was so surreal and cold and I kept waiting for her to say she was joking or that this was some kind of. of test, but she just kept eating her salmon and explaining the logistics of the divorce like she was discussing weekend plans and I finally got so upset that I raised my voice and asked her how she could do this to me on our anniversary and she said she thought it would be poetic justice since this was where our marriage really began and now it was where it would end.

After the waiter thing happened that I told at the beginning I left money on the table and walked out and sat in my car for probably an hour or two trying to process what had just happened and when I got home Sarah was already there packing a suitcase and she said she was going to stay with her sister while we figured out the next steps and that. Her lawyer would be in touch with me about the paperwork. She was so calm about it like she'd rehearsed the whole thing and I realized that she probably had been planning this for months and I'd been completely oblivious. But way to get so much worse and this is the part that really shows what kind of person she is and why I'm questioning everything I thought I knew about our marriage. About a week,

after she moved out my business landed this huge contract with a regional company that was going to triple my monthly income and suddenly I was making more money than I'd ever made in my life and I told Sarah like an idiot. So I called her and told her about the contract and how much money it was worth and instead of congratulating me she got really quiet and then asked if we could meet for coffee to talk and I said sure. We met near her sister's house and she started the conversation by saying she'd been doing a lot of thinking and maybe she'd been too hasty with the divorce papers and that she'd been stressed and emotional

and hadn't been thinking clearly about what was best for both of us. She said she missed me and missed our life together and wanted to know if there was a way we could work things out and go back to how things used to be. At first I was relieved because I still loved her despite everything that had happened and I wanted to believe that she'd realized she'd made a mistake and that we could fix our marriage and be happy again

but something about the timing fell off and I started asking her questions about when exactly she'd started having these second thoughts and whether it had anything to do with my business success. She got defensive and said it wasn't about money it was about realizing how much she valued our relationship and how she'd been letting her fears about financial security cloud her judgment about what was really important but I could tell she was being dishonest and I pressed her for more. Details about what had changed her mind so suddenly. That's when she slipped up and broke down and admitted that she'd been seeing someone else for the past two months and that she thought she was ready to move on with him but now she was confused and didn't know what she wanted and I felt like the ground was falling out from under me again.

Because this meant she'd been cheating on me while we were still married and living in the same house. I asked her who it was and she said it was this guy Derek who works at the dental practice with her and that it had started as just talking about her marriage problems but had developed into something more and they'd been going out and say, spending. Time together, but she swore they hadn't slept together yet, though I don't know if I believe that and it doesn't really matter anyway because the emotional cheating is just as bad. She kept saying it wasn't serious with Derek and that she'd only gotten involved with him because she was lonely and angry with me and that now she realized she'd made a mistake and wanted to try again with our marriage, but I was so angry and hurt that I could barely think straight and I told her that she couldn't just decide to come back now that. I was making good money again after

she'd already checked out of our marriage and started seeing someone else. The conversation went back and forth for like two hours with her crying and begging me to give her another chance and me trying to process the fact that she'd been lying to me for months and had probably only filed for divorce because she thought she had Derek as a backup plan and now that I was successful again she was having second thoughts about which option would be better for her. I finally told her that I needed time to think and that I couldn't make any decisions while I was this upset and angry and she said she understood but that she hoped I would consider counseling or trying to work things out because she still loved me and had just

gotten scared and made some bad choices but that we could get past this if we both. Really wanted to. That was three weeks ago and since then she's been calling and texting constantly asking me to meet with her again or go to couples therapy or just talk about what we both want and I've been avoiding her because I'm still trying to figure out what I think and feel about everything that's happened and whether there's any way to. salvage this mess. The thing that really gets to me is how calculated and manipulative the whole thing seems when I look back at the timeline and I keep wondering if she ever really loved me or if she just loved the lifestyle and security I provided and was willing to trade up when she thought she found something better but now wants to hedge her. Bet, since my business is doing so well.

My friends are split on what they think I should do and some of them say that marriage is hard and people make mistakes and if she's genuinely sorry and willing to work on. on things then maybe we can get past this but others say that what she did was unforgivable and that I should just move on and find someone who won't abandon me the minute things get tough financially. My sister thinks Sarah is a gold digger who showed her true colors when she thought I wasn't going to be successful anymore and that I'd be crazy to take her back but my mom thinks I should at least try counseling because eight years of marriage is worth fighting for and people do. Stupid things when they're scared and stressed about money. I don't know what to think anymore and I go back and forth between wanting to give her another chance and feeling

like I'd be an idiot to trust someone who could be so cold about something as serious as our marriage and I keep wondering if this is just who she really is and the person I thought I married was just an act she put on when things were going well. So I guess my question is am I the asshole if I refuse to try to work things out with her after everything that's happened and just go through with the divorce even though she says she wants to stay married now or should I give her another chance and try to rebuild our relationship even though I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her again. I know this is a mess and I'm probably not thinking clearly about any of it but I need some outside perspective because everyone in my life has opinions and I don't know who to listen to

anymore and I'm tired of going in circles in my own head about what the right thing. To do is. Update 1. A lot of you said I should find out more about this Derek guy and the timeline of when their relationship started and whether Sarah had been planning the divorce. longer than she admitted and at first I wasn't sure I wanted to know because sometimes ignorance is easier than dealing with painful truth but I realized I needed to. Understand what I was really dealing with before I could make any decisions about our future. So I decided to do some investigating and it turns out Sarah has been way more dishonest with me than I even suspected and the whole

story she told me about getting scared when I took the pay cut and then panicking when I started my business was basically. Complete garbage designed to make me feel sorry for her, and take her back. Here's what I found out and I'm still processing how stupid I was to believe her lies for so long, but I guess when you love someone you want to give them the benefit of the doubt even when they don't deserve it and you make excuses for behavior that should be obvious red. Flags I started by looking at our credit card statements and bank records to see if there were any

charges or transactions that might give me clues about what Sarah had been doing and when and right away I found stuff that didn't make sense with what she told me about the timeline of her relationship with Derek. There were restaurant charges from six months ago to places we'd never been together in movie tickets and even a hotel charge from four months ago, which was right around the time I was first thinking about starting my business and she was supposedly just worried about our finances and hadn't met Derek yet according to her story. Then I looked at her phone records which I could access through our family plan and saw that she'd been texting someone with Derek's number starting almost seven months ago, which was right after I took the pay cut and

way before she claimed they'd started talking about marriage problems at work. The frequency of the texts increased over time and by the time I quit my job to start the business they were texting hundreds of times per day and having phone calls that lasted for hours and this was all happening while she was giving me the silent treatment and acting like I'd ruined our marriage by being irresponsible with money. But here's the part that really made me sick to my stomach and showed me just how manipulative she's been this whole time and I can't believe I didn't see it sooner, but I guess I was so focused on trying to save our marriage that I wasn't paying attention to the signs that were right in front of me.

I also found emails in my home computer with a random Gmail saved passwords in my Chrome browser that she might have forgotten to delete. It was between Sarah and a divorce lawyer dating back five months ago, which means she was already consulting about ending our marriage before I even mentioned starting my own business and definitely before any of the big fights we had about my career decisions and financial planning. The emails show that she was asking about how to protect her assets and what kind of settlement she could expect and whether my reduced income would affect spousal support calculations

and it's clear that she was planning this divorce long before she claimed she started having doubts about our relationship. There's even an email where she asks the lawyer about the best timing for filing papers and whether it would be better to wait until after our anniversary or before and the lawyer suggests that timing doesn't matter legally but that she should consider the emotional impact on both parties and Sarah responds that she wants to make sure I understand. How serious she is about ending the marriage.

Reading those emails felt like being stabbed in the chest because it showed that the anniversary dinner wasn't some spur of the moment decision or even a response to stress about money but was actually a plan move designed to hurt me as much as possible and make sure I knew that she was done with our marriage. But wait it gets even worse because I also found evidence that she'd been planning to move in with Derek for months and had even looked at apartments with him and Derek had put down a deposit on a place before she ever served me with divorce papers and told me she was staying with her sister. I drove by the address from the lease agreement and sure enough there's Sarah's car in the parking lot and when I knocked on the door Derek answered and the look on his face when he saw me was pure panic and guilt and he tried to close the door but I pushed past him and found Sarah sitting on the couch in a bathrobe looking like she'd just woken. Up even though it was three in the afternoon. The confrontation that followed was probably the ugliest thing I've ever been part of and I'm not proud of some of the things I said but I was so angry and hurt that I couldn't control myself and just started yelling about how they'd both been lying to me for months and planning this behind my back while.

Pretending to be concerned about our marriage. Sarah tried to deny it at first and said she'd only moved in with Derek after we separated and that the apartment was just temporary until she figured out what she wanted to do long term but I had copies of the lease that Derek had said. and the emails with the lawyer and the phone records and she couldn't explain any of it without admitting that she'd been planning to leave me long before she claimed she started having doubts. Derek kept trying to get me to leave and said this was between me and Sarah and didn't involve him but I told him that he'd been texting my wife for months while we were still married and living together so he was definitely involved and that he was a coward for sneaking around instead of being honest about what was happening.

The whole thing devolved into screaming and name calling and Sarah crying and saying she'd never meant for it to happen this way and that she'd just gotten confused and scared but that she still loved me and wanted to work things out and I told her that was complete bullshit and that you don't accidentally plan a divorce for months and move in. With another man if you love your husband. Derek finally told me to get out or he'd call the police and I said go ahead because I wanted them to know that he'd been having an affair with a married woman and helping her plan a divorce so she could move. in with him but then Sarah begged me not to make this any messier than it already was and said we could talk privately if I would just leave Derek out of it. I left but I was shaking with rage and I sat in my car for like an hour trying to process what I just learned and how completely I'd been played by someone I thought I knew and loved and trusted with my whole life and future and I started thinking about all the times over the past few. Months when she'd made me

feel like I was crazy or paranoid for suspecting that something was going on. That night, night Sarah called me crying and begging me to meet her so she could explain everything and I almost didn't answer but I was curious to see what kind of story she'd come up with now that I knew the truth about the timeline and the planning. In the apartment with Derek. We met and she immediately started apologizing and saying she knew she'd handled everything wrong but that she'd been scared and confused and hadn't known how to deal with her feelings about our marriage and her attraction to Derek and had made a series of bad decisions that snowballed into this mess. She said that she'd started talking to the lawyer and looking at apartments as a way to explore her options

and figure out what she really wanted but that she'd never been completely sure about leaving me until I quit my job without talking to her first and that's when she realized we had different values and priorities and couldn't make our marriage work. But then she said that seeing how successful my business had become made her realize that she'd been wrong about my ability to provide for us and that maybe she'd been too focused on short-term financial security instead of trusting in our long-term partnership and that's why she wanted to try again now that she understood what I was capable of. I asked her about the hotel charges and the apartment with Derek and all the lies she told me about the timeline and she broke down crying and admitted that

she'd been seeing Derek for months and that they'd been physical but that it was just because she felt so disconnected for me in our marriage and that it didn't mean anything compared to what we had together. She kept saying that Derek was just a rebound or a way to deal with with her loneliness and anger, but that I was the person she really loved and wanted to be with and that she'd made a huge mistake by getting involved with him but now she realized what she'd almost thrown away and wanted to fix things between us. The whole conversation made me feel sick because every word out of her mouth was either a lie or a manipulation designed to make me feel sorry for her and take her back and I could

see right through it now that I knew the real timeline and how much planning had gone into her betrayal. I told her that I couldn't trust anything she said anymore because she'd been lying to me for months and that even if she was sorry now it was only because my business was successful and she realized she might be better off financially staying married to me than starting over with Derek who probably doesn't make as much money. She got defensive and said it wasn't about money and that she genuinely loved me and regretted her mistakes but I pointed out that she'd only started having second thoughts after I landed the big contract and started making more money than ever and that seemed like quite a coincidence if her feelings were really about love and not financial.

Security We argued for another hour and she kept begging me to give her another chance and promising that she'd end things with Derek and go to counseling and do whatever it took to rebuild our marriage, but I told her that I didn't think I could ever trust her again after everything I discovered and that I wasn't interested in being someone's. Backup plan when their first choice didn't work out. That was yesterday and I've been thinking about everything that's happened. and trying to figure out what I want to do next and the more I think about it the more convinced I am that Sarah only wants me back because I'm making good money again and that if my business failed tomorrow she'd.

Probably run right back to Derek or start looking for her next option. I feel like such an idiot for believing her story about being scared and making mistakes when the reality is that she was planning to leave me for months and had already moved on with someone else and only changed her mind when she realized that staying married to me might be more profitable than getting divorced and starting over. I wanted to update everyone who gave me advice because your comments really helped me see that I needed to dig deeper and find out the truth instead of just accepting Sarah's version of events and feeling guilty about not giving her another chance.

I'm going to call my own lawyer tomorrow and start the process of protecting my business assets and making sure that Sarah doesn't get rewarded for her dishonesty and betrayal and I'm done trying to save a marriage with someone who clearly never valued or respected me the way I valued and respected her. So to answer my original question, I definitely don't think I'm the asshole for refusing to take Sarah back after everything she did and I'm confident that I'm making the right choice by going through with the divorce and moving on with my life without someone who only wanted me for what I could provide rather than for who I actually am as a person. Thanks again for all the support and advice and I'll probably update again once I've talked to the lawyer and

figured out what the next steps are but right now I just want to focus on my business and moving forward with my life without someone who thinks I'm just a financial safety net to fall back on when her other plans don't work out. Final update, this is probably going to be my last update unless something really crazy happens but I wanted to let everyone know how things ended up and what I decided to do after discovering the truth about Sarah's timeline and her real motivations for wanting to reconcile our marriage. I called a divorce lawyer yesterday morning and spent two hours going over all the evidence

I'd gathered about Sarah's planning and her relationship with Derek and the lawyer. said I had a very strong case for demonstrating that she'd been planning the divorce for months and had been having an affair which would definitely work in my favor when it came to asset division and spousal support. The lawyer also helped me understand how to protect my business assets since most of the growth and success had happened after Sarah had already moved out and filed for divorce and started living with Derek which meant she couldn't claim that her support and partnership had contributed to the business. Success she now wanted to benefit it from. I was feeling pretty good about having a clear legal strategy and moving forward with

ending this marriage once and for all but then Sarah showed up at my house around noon completely hysterical and begging me not to go through with the divorce and saying she'd made the biggest mistake of her life and would. Do anything to fix things between us. She said Derek had broken up with her the night after I'd confronted them at the apartment and that he told her he didn't want to be involved in a messy divorce situation and couldn't handle the drama and stress of being with someone who was still married and trying to figure out what she wanted. According to Sarah, he basically kicked her out and told her that he thought she should try to work things out with me since it was obvious she was still confused about her feelings and that

he didn't want to be anyone's rebound relationship or second choice and that she needed to figure out her life before getting involved with someone new. So now she was completely alone and panicking about losing both Derek and me and she was crying and saying she realized now that I was the only person who had ever really loved her and that she'd been an idiot to throw away our marriage for someone who didn't even want her when things got complicated. She begged me to forget about the lawyer and give her one more chance to prove that she was serious about our marriage and that she'd learn from her mistakes and would never betray my trust again and she promised to go to counseling and do whatever work was necessary to rebuild

our relationship and regain my trust. I told her that I appreciated her apology but that too much had happened for me to trust her again and that I didn't want to be married to someone who only valued me when their other options didn't work out and she started crying harder and saying that wasn't true and that she'd always loved me but had just gotten scared and made bad decisions. But here's the thing that really sealed it for me and showed me that even now when she supposedly learned her lesson and wants to make things right, she's still being manipulative and dishonest about her real motivations and I'm glad I saw through it before I made the mistake of taking her back. While she was crying and begging me to reconsider she mentioned several

times how well my business was doing and how proud she was of what I'd accomplished and how she'd always believed in me even when she was scared about the financial changes and it was obvious that she was trying to remind me of how much money I was making now and how good our life could be if we stayed together. She also kept talking about our house and our cars and the vacation we'd been planning to take next year and how much she missed our old life together and wanted to get back to being happy and successful as a couple, and it was clear that she was thinking about the lifestyle and security I could provide not. About actually loving me as a person.

The final straw was when she said she'd been talking to her sister about our situation and that her sister had pointed out how rare it was to find a man who was both financially successful and genuinely good-hearted and that Sarah shouldn't give that up lightly and that most women would kill to have a husband. Who could provide the kind of security and stability that I offered? When she said that I realized that even her apology and her begging was really just about money and what I could do for her and that she still didn't understand that she destroyed something that couldn't be fixed with promises and tears and that I deserved better than someone who saw me primarily as a financial asset. I told her that I was definitely going through with the divorce and that nothing she could say would change my mind and that she needed to accept that our marriage was over and start figuring out how to build a life for herself that didn't depend on using other people for financial security. She got angry then and started yelling about how I was being cruel and that she'd made mistakes but everyone deserves forgiveness and a second chance and that I was throwing away eight years of marriage over pride and stubbornness and that I'd regret this decision when I was old and alone.

I stayed calm and told her that I wasn't being vindictive. I was just being realistic about what kind of person she'd shown herself to be and that I couldn't spend my life with someone I couldn't trust and that she'd made her choice when she started planning to leave me months ago and moved in with Derek. She finally left after threatening to fight me on the divorce and try to get half of everything including my business, but my lawyer had already warned me that she might try that and we prepared for it by documenting the timeline of everything. This morning I got a text from her saying she was sorry for getting angry and that she still hoped I'd change my mind but that she understood why I was hurt and that she'd always love me even if we couldn't make our marriage work and it was actually kind of sad because I think part of her really does believe that she loved me even though her. actions showed that she only valued what I could provide for her. I'm meeting with my lawyer again tomorrow to finalize the divorce paperwork and I'm actually feeling relieved and optimistic about the future for the first time in months because I know I'm making the right decision and not letting someone manipulate me into staying in a relationship that was never really what I thought it was.