Reddit Stories - Spouse became INTOXICATED at her SIBLING'S CELEBRATION and revealed that she never felt

Episode Date: July 26, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #confession #intoxicated #celebrationSummary: Spouse became INTOXICATED at her SIBLING'S CELEBRATION and revealed that she never felt. Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, confession, intoxicated, celebration, secrets, honesty, marriage, drama, siblings, party, truth, emotions, revelationsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse became intoxicated at her sibling's celebration and revealed that she never felt a romantic connection towards me and only entered into marriage because she perceived me as a secure choice that her parents supported. Had been secretly trying to contact her college ex. My wife Claire and I have been married for eight years now, and we have two kids together, a six-year-old daughter and a four-year-old son. We met in college through mutual friends and started dating in our junior years.

She was this really outgoing person who seemed to know everyone on campus, and I was more of the quiet type who focused on my studies and didn't go to parties much. I was studying engineering and she was in business, and we just clicked somehow even though we were pretty different. When we first started dating, everything seemed great, and I thought I was the luckiest guy in the world because she was way out of my league. She was really pretty and popular and could have dated anyone she wanted, but she chose me. I remember thinking that maybe she liked that I was different from the other guys she had dated before. She had mentioned a few times that her ex-boyfriends were all the same type and that she wanted something different, but she never really went into detail about what that meant. During college, our relationship was good, and we spent a lot of time together studying and hanging out with friends. She would sometimes get moody or distant, but I figured that was just normal relationship stuff and everyone has their ups and downs.

After we graduated, we both got jobs in the same city and moved and together, and that's when I started noticing some things that bothered me, but I didn't really know how to bring them up. The first thing I noticed was that she never seemed that interested in being physical with me. I mean, we had sex, but it always felt like she was just going through the motions and wasn't really into it. I tried talking to her about it a few times, but she would just say she was tired from work or stressed about something and that it wasn't about it. about me. I believed her because I didn't want to think that there was something wrong with our relationship, and I figured things would get better once we settled into our new routine. The second thing was that she seemed to get really uncomfortable whenever we ran into people from college, especially guys that she used to know. There was this one time when we were at a

restaurant and she saw someone she recognized, and she got all weird and fidgety and kept looking around like she wanted to leave. When I asked her who it was, she just said it was nobody important and changed the subject, but I could tell she was lying about something. The third thing was how much she cared about what her parents thought about everything we did. Her parents are really traditional and have very specific ideas about what makes a good husband and father, and she was always worried about making sure I measured up to their standards. She would coach me before family dinners about what to say and what not to say, and she would get really anxious if she thought I might do something that would disappoint them. I thought it was sweet that she wanted her family

to like me, but looking back, it feels like she was more concerned about their approval than about what she actually wanted. After we had been living together for about two years, I proposed to her and she said yes, but even then something felled off about the whole thing. When I gave her the ring, she seemed happy but not excited the way I thought she would be, and when we told people we were engaged, she would always focus on the practical aspects like the wedding planning and the timeline instead of talking about how much she loved me or how excited she was to be my wife. The wedding planning was stressful and we had a lot of arguments about different things, but I chalked it up to normal wedding stress that everyone goes through. Her parents were very

involved in the planning and had opinions about everything from the venue to the guest list to the music, and she would always defer to what they wanted even when I knew she had different preferences. The wedding itself was beautiful, and everyone seemed to have a good time, but I remember feeling like Clara seemed relieved when it was over rather than happy that we were finally married. During our honeymoon, she was more relaxed than she had been in months, but she still seemed distant physically, and I started wondering if maybe she was just not a very sexual person or if there was something about me that she didn't find attractive. The first few years of marriage were okay, and we settled into a routine where we both worked

and spent time with friends and family, and everything seemed normal on the surface. We bought a house and started talking about having kids, and she seemed enthusiastic about starting a family. When she got pregnant with our first child, she was really happy and excited, and I thought maybe having kids would bring us closer together and fix whatever was wrong with our relationship. Having kids did change things, but not in the way I expected. Clara became a really good mother and she was completely devoted to our children, but she seemed to have even less interest in our relationship as a couple. Hi, I'm Darren Marler.

Host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt. Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere, from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreaker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ad. ads into your episodes, no editing required. And with Spreaker's programmatic ads, they'll bring

the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Sprinker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Spreeker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out Spreaker.com. That's S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R dot com. She would always be too tired or too busy with the kids to spend time together,

and when I would try to plan date nights or romantic evenings, she would find excuses to cancel or cut them short. I started feeling like I was just there to help with the practical stuff like paying bills and doing chores, and that she didn't really need me for anything else. I tried bringing up my concerns a few times, but she would always say that having young kids was just hard and that things would get better when they got older and needed less attention. She would also point out that I was being selfish for wanting more attention when she was already overwhelmed with taking care of the house and the children,

and I felt guilty for even bringing it up. About six months ago, things started getting worse, and I noticed that Clara was spending a lot more time on her phone than you, She would be scrolling through social media or texting people, and when I would ask who she was talking to, she would just say it was her sister or a friend from work. She also started going out more often with her girlfriends and would come home later than she used to, and sometimes she would seem really happy and energetic in a way that I hadn't seen in years. I didn't want to be the kind of husband who was suspicious, so I tried not to make a big deal about it, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going on. She also started dressing differently and paying more attention to her appearance than she had in a long time, and when I complimented her on a new outfit or hairstyle, she would just shrug it off and say she was just trying to take better care of herself. Three months ago, we had a really big fight about something stupid, and during the argument she said that she felt like we were just roommates who happened to have kids together and that she wasn't happy in our marriage.

I was shocked because even though I knew things weren't perfect, I didn't realize that she was actually unhappy, and I asked her what we could do to fix things. She said she didn't know and that maybe we should try couples counseling, but then she never actually made an appointment, and every time I brought it up, she would say she was too busy or that she needed more time to think about it. Two months ago, I found out that she had been looking at apartments online, and when I confronted her about it, she said that she was just curious about what was available in our area and that she wasn't actually planning to move out. She also said that sometimes she just liked to imagine what it would be like to live somewhere different and that it didn't mean anything, but I didn't believe her, and we had another big fight about honesty and communication. Last month, things came to a head when we were at her sister's birthday party and Clara had way too much

to drink. She's not usually a heavy drinker, and I had never seen her that drunk before, and I was getting worried about her, so I kept trying to get her to slow down or eat something, but she just kept ordering more drinks and laughing really loudly at everything anyone said. Her sister's husband pulled me aside at one point and asked if everything was okay at home because Clara had been texting his wife a lot lately about being unhappy and feeling trapped, and he was concerned about her. I told him that we were going through a rough patch, but that we were working on it, but inside I was panicking because I didn't know that Clara had been talking to other people about our problems.

Near the end of the party, Clara started getting really emotional and clingy, and she kept telling everyone how much she loved them and how grateful she was for all the good people in her life. I thought she was just being drunk and sentimental, but then she started talking about her college boyfriend and how he was the love of her life and how she still thought about him all the time. I tried to get her to stop talking and suggested that we should go home, but she just kept going and said that Dale was the only man who ever really understood her and that she had made a terrible mistake by letting him go. Everyone at the party was getting

uncomfortable, and her sister was trying to change the subject, but Clara wouldn't stop, and she started crying in saying that she had settled for a life that wasn't what she wanted. That's when she looked right at me and said that she had never been attracted to me and that she only married me because I was safe and stable and because her parents approved of me. She said that she thought she could learn to love me the way she loved Dale, but that it never happened, and that she felt like she was living a lie. She also said that she had been trying to find Dale on social media and that she had actually reached out to him a few weeks earlier to see if he wanted to meet up.

I couldn't breathe, and everyone at the party was staring at us, and I didn't know what to do. I managed to get Clara to the car and drive her home, and she passed out in the passenger seat and didn't wake up until the next morning. When she woke up, she had a terrible hangover and said she didn't remember anything from the night before and asked me why I looked so upset. I told her everything she had said, and she went completely white and started crying and apologizing and saying that she was drunk and didn't mean any of it. She begged me not to take it seriously and said that alcohol just makes people say crazy things

that aren't true, but I could tell by the look on her face that she remembered saying it, and that at least some of it was true. Hi, I'm Darren Marler. Host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt. Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere, from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's monetization.

Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ads into your episodes. No editing required. and with Spreaker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Spreaker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you.

Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Spreaker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out spreeker.com. That's S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com. I asked her about Dale and whether she had really been trying to contact him, and she admitted that she had looked him up online and sent him a message but said that he never responded and that it was just a moment of weakness that didn't mean anything. She swore that she loved me and that she wanted to make our marriage work,

but I could tell that she was just saying what she thought I wanted to hear. I've been sleeping in the guest room ever since, and we've barely talked except about logistics with the kids and household stuff. She keeps trying to bring up what happened and wants to talk about it, but I'm not ready, and I don't know if I ever will be. Every time I look at her, I hear those words again about how she was never attracted to me and how she settled for me because I was safe and I feel sick to my stomach. The worst part is that now everything from our entire relationship makes sense in a way that I wish it didn't. All those times when she seemed distant or uninterested. All the times when she seemed uncomfortable around people from college. All the times when she seemed more concerned about what other people thought than about

what she wanted. It all adds up to this picture of someone who was never really happy with me but was too afraid or too concerned about appearances to do anything about it. I keep thinking about our kids and how this is going to affect them if we get divorced, but I also don't know how I'm supposed to stay in a marriage with someone who is been pretending to love me for eight years. I feel like our entire relationship has been a lie, and I don't know if there's any way to come back from that. Clara has been trying to act normal around the kids, but I can tell that they sense something is wrong because they keep asking

why mommy and daddy aren't sleeping in the same room anymore and why we don't talk to each other the way we used to. I've been trying to keep things as normal as possible for them, but it's really hard when I can barely stand to be in the same room as their mother. I also can can't stop thinking about this Dale guy and wondering what he's like and whether Clara is still trying to contact him. I looked him up online, and he's actually a pretty decent guy who seems to travel a lot and posts pictures of himself at restaurants and events, and I can see why Clara would think that he's more exciting than me. I keep wondering if she's comparing us and wishing that she had made different choices. Am I the asshole for wanting to leave my wife after she

confessed that she was never attracted to me and only married me because I was safe? I know she was drunk when she said it, but drunk words are sober thoughts, and I don't think I can ever get past knowing how she really feels about me. Update 1, first off, I want to thank everyone who commented on my original post because reading all the responses really helped me realize that I wasn't crazy for being upset about what Clara said. A lot of people pointed out that being drunk doesn't make you say things that aren't true, it just makes you say things that you usually keep to yourself, and that really hit home for me. After I made my post, I decided that I needed to have a serious conversation with Clara about our marriage and what she had said that night. I waited until the kids were at school, and I asked her to sit down with me in the living room, and I told her that we needed to talk about everything that had happened. She immediately started crying and apologizing again and saying that she was so sorry for hurting me and that she didn't mean what she said, but I stopped her and told her that I needed her to be completely honest with me for once in our relationship. I said that I deserve to know the truth about how she really felt about me and about our marriage

and that if we were going to have any chance of moving forward, then she needed to stop lying and making excuses. That's when she finally admitted that yes, she had never felt the same kind of physical attraction to me that she had felt for Dale and some of her other boyfriends from college. She said that when we first started dating, she thought that attraction would grow over time and that she could learn to feel differently about me, but that it never happened the way she hoped it would. She also admitted that she had married me partly because her parents really liked me and thought I would be a good provider and father and that their approval was really important to her at the time. She said that she convinced herself that attraction wasn't the most important thing in a relationship and that our friendship and compatibility were more valuable than physical chemistry. The hardest part to hear was when she told me that over the years, she had started to resent me for not being more like the guys she used to date who were more adventurous and spontaneous and exciting. She said that she knew it wasn't fair to blame me for being exactly the person I had always been, but that she couldn't help feeling like she had missed out on something by settling down with me.

When I asked her about Dale and whether she had been trying to contact him, she got really defensive and said that it was just a stupid mistake and that she was going through a midlife crisis or something. But then I pressed her on it, and she finally admitted that she had been thinking about him for months before she actually reached out and that she had been fantasizing about what her life would have been like if they had stayed together. She said that she had sent him a message on Facebook telling him that she had been thinking about him and asking if he wanted to catch up sometime and that she had been checking obsessively for weeks to see if he would respond. She also admitted that if he had responded positively, she probably would have met up with him even though she

knew it would be wrong. Hearing all of this was like getting punched in the face over and over again, but I'm glad that she finally told me the truth because at least now I know where I stand. I asked her if she wanted to try to work on our marriage or if she wanted to get divorced, and she said that she didn't know and that she was confused about what she wanted. I told her that I needed some time to think about everything and that I was going to stay at my brothers... Hi, I'm Darren Marler, host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt. Sfreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show.

everywhere from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's monetization. Sprinker offers dynamic ad insert ad insert ads into your episodes. No editing required. And with Spreker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Spreaker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network,

Sprinker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out Spreaker.com. That's S-P-R-E-K-E-R.com. House for a few days while I figured out what to do next. She started crying again and begging me not to leave, but I couldn't stand to be around her anymore, and I needed some space to process everything. I ended up staying at my brother's place for a week, and it was actually really good for me to get away and clear my head.

My brother and his wife were really supportive, and they let me talk through everything without judging me or trying to tell me what to do. They also helped me realize that I deserved to be with someone who actually wanted to be with me and who was attracted to me, and that staying in a marriage where I was just the safe choice wasn't fair to either of us. When I came back home, Clara and I had another long conversation, and I told her that I thought we should get divorced. She was shocked and said that she thought we could work things out with counseling and that she was willing to try harder to make our marriage work, but I told her that I didn't think therapy could fix the fundamental problem that she wasn't attracted to me and never had been. She argued that attraction wasn't everything and that we had built a good life together and that we should try to save our marriage for the sake of our kids, but I told her that I didn't want to say. spend the rest of my life with someone who saw me as a consolation prize. I also pointed out that our kids deserve to see what a healthy relationship looked like and that staying together just for

their sake would probably do more harm than good. The conversation got pretty heated, and she accused me of giving up too easily and not being willing to fight for our family, but I told her that I had been fighting for our relationship for years without even realizing that she didn't want the same things I wanted. I said that it wasn't fair for her to ask me to keep fighting when she had already checked out emotionally years ago. Since then, we've been trying to figure out the logistics of separation and divorce, and it's been really hard and awkward. Clara has been going back and forth between being angry at me for wanting to leave and being sad and apologetic about everything that happened. Sometimes she'll be cold and distant and

act like the divorce is all my idea and that I'm being unreasonable, and other times she'll break down crying and beg me to reconsider and give her another chance. The hardest part is that I still love her even though I know that she doesn't feel the same way about me. Eight years of marriage and two kids together doesn't just disappear overnight, and there are still moments when I wonder if I'm making a mistake by leaving. I've started looking for my own apartment, and I'm trying to figure out a custody arrangement that will work for everyone. Clara doesn't want me to move out and keep saying that we should try separation counseling first, but I think that would just be prolonging the inevitable and making things harder for everyone.

The whole situation is just really sad, and I feel bad for our kids who are going to have to deal with their parents getting divorced, but I also feel like I finally have some clarity about what I want and need in a relationship. I deserve to be with someone who chooses me because they want me, not because I'm the safe option that their parents approve of. I know that some people will think I'm being too harsh or that I should try harder to save my marriage, but I don't think you can force someone to be attracted to you or to love you the way you love them. Clara made her choice eight years ago when she decided to marry me even though she wasn't really into me, and now I'm making my choice to find someone who will actually want to be with me. Update 2

It's been about a month since my last update, and I wanted to let everyone know what's been happening because things have taken some unexpected turns that I didn't see coming. I ended up finding an apartment and moved out about three weeks ago, and it's been a really difficult adjustment for everyone involved. The kids are staying with Clara during the week and spending weekends with me, and they're having a hard time understanding why mommy and daddy don't live together anymore. My daughter keeps asking when I'm coming home, and my son has been acting out at school and having tantrums that he never used to have.

Clara and I are trying to co-parent as well as we can under the circumstances, but it's really awkward and tense whenever we have to interact. She's still going back and forth between being angry at me and trying to convince me to come back, and it's emotionally exhausting to deal with. Every time I go to pick up the kids or drop them off, she tries to start a conversation about our relationship, and I have to keep reminding her that we're getting divorced and that I don't want to rehash everything over and over again. About two weeks ago, something happened that made everything even more complicated. I was at a store near my new apartment when I ran into someone I recognized from college, and it took me a minute to realize that it was Dale,

Clara's ex-boyfriend that she had been trying to contact. He recognized me too and came over to say hello and ask how I was doing. We ended up talking for about 20 minutes, and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy and nothing like the exciting person that Clara had made him out to be. He's actually pretty quiet and soft-spoken and works as an accountant for a small firm and lives in a modest apartment by himself. He told me that he had gotten Clara's message a few months ago but that he hadn't responded because he's been in a serious relationship for the past three years and didn't think it would be appropriate. He also said that he was surprised to hear from her because they hadn't had much contact since college and their

relationship back then wasn't as serious or passionate as she apparently remembered it being. He said that they dated for about six months and that it was pretty casual and that he had actually been the one to end it because he felt like they wanted different things out of life. The conversation was really eye-opening for me because it made me realize that Clara had built up this whole fantasy about Dale and their relationship that wasn't based in reality. She had convinced herself that he was this amazing guy who got away and that her life would have been so much better if they had stayed together, but the truth was that he was just a regular person like me and their relationship hadn't been that special or meaningful. I didn't tell Dale

about what was going on with Clara and me because it didn't seem appropriate, but after we said goodbye, I felt this weird mix of relief and sadness. When I got home to my apartment, I felt really lonely and started second-guessing my decision to leave. I found myself wondering if maybe I had been too hasty and if Clara and I could have worked things out if we had tried harder. I even started thinking about calling her and suggesting that we try couples counseling after all. But then the next weekend when I had the kids, Clara did something that reminded me why I had to leave in the first place. I was dropping them off on Sunday evening, and she invited me in for coffee and started talking about how much she missed having me around the house. She said that she

had been doing a lot of thinking and that she realized how much she had taken me for granted and how good of a husband and father I was. She also said that she had been talking to a therapist about our marriage and that she was starting to understand why she had been so unhappy and that it wasn't really about me or our relationship, but about her own issues with commitment and fear of missing out. She said that she thought we could make things work if we both committed to being more open and honest with each other going forward. For a minute, I almost believed her, and I could feel myself getting pulled. Hi, I'm Darren Marler, host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt.

Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreaker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ads into your episodes. No editing required. And with Spreker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download.

This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Spreaker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Spreker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows. So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out spreeker.com. That's S-P-R-E-K-E-R dot com. back into the hope that maybe we could fix things and get back together. But then she said something that made me realize that she still didn't really get it. She said that even though she had never felt the same kind of physical attraction to me that she had felt for other guys, she had learned to appreciate other things about me and that attraction could grow over time if we worked at it. The way she said it made it clear that she still saw physical attraction as something

that was missing from our relationship but that she was willing to try to develop it for the sake of our family. It wasn't that she had suddenly realized that she was attracted to me all along. It was that she was willing to try to force herself to feel something that wasn't naturally there. I told her that I appreciated her honesty but that I didn't want to be in a relationship where someone had to work at being attracted to me. I said that I wanted to be with someone who wanted me for who I was, not someone who was trying to convince themselves to want me. She got upset and said that I was being unrealistic and that all long-term relationships require work and compromise, but I told her that some things shouldn't have to be worked at. We ended up having a big

argument, and I left feeling more convinced than ever that I had made the right decision. Over the next few days, I kept thinking about what she had said about learning to appreciate other things about me and working at developing attraction. And it made me feel even more like I had been settling for crumbs in our marriage. I also started thinking about the fact that I'm only 32 years old and that I have hopefully many more years ahead of me and that I don't want to spend them with someone who sees being with me as work that they have to do. I want to find someone who is excited about me and who thinks I'm attractive and who chooses to be with me because they can't imagine being with anyone else. Since then, I've been focusing on getting settled

in my new place and establishing a routine with the kids and trying to figure out what I want my life to look like going forward. I've been going to the gym more, and I've been hanging out with friends that I hadn't seen much of when I was married, and I'm starting to feel like myself again in a way that I haven't in years. The divorce proceedings are moving forward, and Clara and I are working with a mediator to figure out custody and financial arrangements. She's still holding out hope that I'll change my mind and come back, but I think she's starting to accept that this is really happening. Her family has been calling me and trying to convince me to reconsider, but I've told them that this is between Clara and me and that their input isn't

helpful. My own family has been really supportive, and they've told me that they could see that I wasn't happy in my marriage even though I was trying to make the best of it. My mom said that she always wondered if Clara was really right for me but that she didn't want to say anything because it wasn't her place to interfere. It's weird to think that other people could see problems in my marriage that I couldn't see myself.