Reddit Stories - Spouse began DISPLAYING doubtful behavior and her closest COMPANION was acting STRANGELY towards

Episode Date: November 2, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #doubtfulbehavior #companion #strangebehavior #marriageSummary: Spouse began displaying doubtful behavior and her closest companion was acting strangely towards her. The situation caused confusion and concern among family and friends, leading to a series of unexpected events and revelations.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, spouse, behavior, companion, strange, marriage, confusion, concern, family, friends, unexpected, events, revelations, relationships, doubt, strangebehaviorBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse began displaying doubtful behavior and her closest companion was acting strangely towards me, so I addressed the situation and discovered that my spouse had been engaging in a romantic relationship with her trainer. Trainer while her friend covered for her the entire time. My wife has been acting really strange for the past few weeks, and I'm getting worried something is up. We've been married five years, together for seven, and I've never seen her behave like this.

I'm not the jealous or paranoid type at all. Trust has never been an issue between us, so the fact I'm even writing this has me on edge. It's a bunch of little things. She's become super protective of her phone all of a sudden, and she started going to the gym way more often than she used to. She recently got a personal trainer, about four months ago, to help her get in shape, and I was all for it at first. But lately she's been spending extra hours at the gym almost every other day. When I casually ask about her workouts or how it's going, she gets vague or just says great, got a shower and then changes the topic.

It feels off. On top of that, her best friend has been acting weird around me. Normally, her friend, let's call her Anna, is talkative and friendly whenever she's over. In the last couple of weeks, though, she's barely making eye contact and seems nervous. For example, a few days ago I came home and found my wife and Anna in our kitchen talking in low voices. The second I walked in, they both jumped like they'd seen a ghost and went silent. My wife plastered on this obviously fake smile and said, Oh hey.

We were just talking just girly stuff. Anna looked like a deer in headlights, mumbled a quick hello, and pretty much bolted right after. The whole thing was bizarre. I asked my wife later why Anna ran off so suddenly. She laughed and said I spooked Anna by coming in so quietly, and that they'd been gossiping about a personal topic of Anna's, apparently a mutual friend surprised pregnancy, and didn't want me to hear because it was girly.

Honestly, it sounded like a lame excuse. Ever since then, I've had a bad feeling. My wife has been slightly distant too. Nothing huge, but I catch her telling white lies about random things. Like she claims she was at the grocery store for an hour one evening. But when I mentioned that our usual store closes early on Sundays, she quickly said, oh, I actually went to somewhere else instead. Little stuff like that, which never used to happen, is happening more and more.

I haven't directly confronted her about any of this because I have zero real evidence and I don't want to come off as a paranoid jerk. But I did ask in a roundabout way if everything's okay with her, because she seems a bit stressed or distracted lately. She said I was imagining things, and that she's just been tired from work and the extra workouts. She actually seemed offended that I was checking up on her, which made me feel bad for asking, but also more suspicious.

It was an oddly strong reaction to a simple, hey, you doing all right? Question. At this point I don't know what to think. My intuition is screaming that something is off. I'm even starting to wonder if I did something wrong or if she's upset with me about something and not saying it. The weird behavior from her and especially from Anna is really concerning. I briefly considered if maybe they're planning some surprise for me, like a party or gift, because that could explain secretiveness, but there's no big occasion coming up and their vibe wasn't exactly the fun

kind of secret. It felt more like anxious serious secret. I could be overthinking all this, sure. but I can't shake the feeling that I'm missing something big. Has anyone dealt with a spouse suddenly acting secretive like this? Would it be a terrible idea to talk to her friend to see if something's wrong? I just want to get to the bottom of why they're acting so strange. Any advice is appreciated. Because this is eating at me and I don't want to accuse my wife of something crazy if I'm way off base. Update 1, well, I got my answer, and it's pretty much the worst-case scenario.

Yesterday, Anna, my wife's best friend, showed up at my doorstep unannounced and basically blew my world up. She looked absolutely miserable. I let her in, and she immediately started saying, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, before I even knew what for. I had to practically force her to slow down and tell me what was going on. According to Anna, my wife has been having an affair with her personal trainer for the past four months, and Anna has been covering for her this entire time. I almost couldn't believe

the words coming out of her mouth. I had to sit down as she spilled this, because I was so stunned and furious I felt like I might pass out. Anna was shaking and talking a mile a minute. She said her husband found out about the cover-up and basically gave her an ultimatum, you tell, my name, everything, or I will. And if you don't, I'm divorcing you. So that's why she came clean, her own marriage was on the line if she kept lying for my wife. She then laid out all the ugly details. My wife and this trainer, let's call him Jake, started off with regular training sessions, but at some point it turned into flirting and then a full-blown physical affair. It's been going on for months under the guise of gym time or girls' nights out. Every time my wife

told me she was with Anna, she was actually with Jake, and Anna was covering for her. They even went so far as to have Anna occasionally text me from my wife's phone to keep up the charade when my wife was somewhere she shouldn't be. Anna gave specific examples like that spa weekend trip my wife supposedly took with Anna last month. In reality, my wife was out of town with Jake. The night I found them whispering in the kitchen, Anna admitted they had actually been arguing right before I walked in. Anna was pleading with my wife to either end the affair or confess to me, and my wife was refusing and freaking out. That's why they looked guilty as hell when I showed up. Anna said she's been sick over this for a while and I tried to convince my wife to do the right

thing, but my wife kept telling her to mind her own business and continued to use her as a cover. Basically, my wife put her in an awful position. Betray your best friend or lie to your best friend's husband. I was just sitting there, listening to all of this in disbelief. I honestly didn't even know what to say to Anna at first. I did manage to ask a few questions, like how the affair started and how her husband found out. Anna said it started not long after my wife began the training, my wife confided in her that she had a crush on Jake and Anna warned her to be careful and not do anything stupid.

My wife shrugged it off then, but clearly didn't stop. As for how Anna's husband discovered it, he saw some sketchy messages on Anna's phone when she left it on the kitchen counter, texts between my wife and Anna that obviously weren't just two gal pals chatting about innocent things. He confronted Anna, and that's when the whole house of cards came down. Anna also came prepared with receipts, literally. It seems her husband told her she needed to back up everything with proof. She had printouts of text conversations between her and my wife discussing meetups with Jay, Jake, and even a hotel confirmation email from that weekend trip, which showed my wife's name and Jake's name on the reservation for a two-night stay. It's one

something to suspect something, it's another to have concrete proof slapped in your face. I was furious and devastated, but I somehow stayed outwardly calm while Anna was here. I didn't yell at her, there was no point. She was crying and kept apologizing for not telling me sooner. I mostly just sat there in a daze, probably glaring holes through the floor. I eventually told her I appreciated her coming clean, but I needed her to leave so I could process this. I said something like, you need to go home and deal with your own marriage now. I need to be alone. She understood and left, still apologizing on her way out. After she left, I pretty much collapsed on the couch and kind of broke down for a while. I felt like my world had just shattered.

Eventually, I pulled myself together enough to think about next steps. I knew I had to confront my wife, but I also knew I needed to keep it together when I did. As luck would have it, my wife got home maybe an hour after Anna left. I have no idea if she had any clue what was coming. I was still so angry and hurt, but I managed to act normal. She came in and gave me a hello and a kiss like nothing was wrong. Pretending everything was fine in that moment was brutal. My heart was pounding and I felt like I might either scream or burst into tears. But I played it cool somehow. I figure confronting her in that state, while I was livid, would just turn into a mess, and I was right, as you'll see. So I waited until the next day. I barely slept that night,

just lay there staring at the ceiling while she slept next to me like nothing was wrong. That was one of the longest nights of my life. I have to end it here because of the Reddit word slash character count. I will post a new update on my personal page in a few hours, update two. I confronted my wife last night and it was a complete dumpster fire. I don't even know where to begin, it was that bad. I had been rehearsing what to say all day in my head, trying to keep my cool, but the second I actually started talking, all that prep went out the window. I basically told her I knew about her affair with Jake,

and that she needed to quit the lies and tell me the truth right now. She reacted with immediate denial, of course, playing dumb. What are you talking about? And I have no idea what you mean. I didn't let it go on long. I said, cut the crap. Anna told me everything. I know you've been sleeping with Jake.

My wife's face went through about three different expressions in the span of a second. First she went pale as a ghost, then she started to cry, and then those tears morphed into anger. She got mad at Anna for telling. She started ranting, calling Anna a lying bitch who's jealous. of our marriage and saying I was stupid to believe her. She was literally yelling, saying Anna has always been jealous and must have made up this entire story to try to ruin us. It was unhinged. I tried to interject by showing her the evidence I had, the texts, the hotel email printout, but she wouldn't even look. She just kept yelling that those were fake or

out of context. She claimed Anna probably twisted innocent stuff to make her look bad. For example, She insisted that hotel trip wasn't what it looked like. Supposedly she had only helped Anna book a romantic getaway with her husband and that's why her, my wife's name was on the reservation. As for Jake's name being on it? She had no answer or some BS about how he was a plus one for one of Anna's other friends. Honestly, it was the most ridiculous pack of lies I've ever heard, and she was spewing it desperately.

I was so angry I felt like I might literally burst. I kept telling her to stop insulting my intelligence and just be honest, but she dug her heels in. She swore up and down, even on her mother's grave, that she had never cheated on me. She kept saying Jake was just a friend and trainer, and that any extra time she spent with him was only about fitness and nutrition and so on. She actually had the gall to accuse me of betraying her by not trusting her and by believing her friend over her. She said, after all these years, you choose to think I do this?

You really think that little of me? It was gaslighting, trying to flip the script and make me the bad guy for confronting her. Round and round we went, for I don't know how long. At one point I was so frustrated I punched the door frame, probably not smart, my knuckles are still sore. She jumped when I did that, but it shut her up for a second. I said, look at what this is doing. Why can't you just come clean?

She stared at me with this defiant look and just, kept saying there was nothing to come clean about. She then switched to begging mode, saying, please, you're wrong, please believe me. It was wild, like she was cycling through every possible tactic, anger, guilt, pleading, to see what might get me off her case. Finally, I'd had enough of the roundabout nonsense. I told her, if you won't tell me the truth, maybe Jake will, I said I was going to have a chat with her dear personal trainer and get a side of the story. That made her freeze. She went from furious to terrified in a split second. She started stammering, why would you do that? This has nothing to do with him. I shot back that

it had everything to do with him, and if her story was true, she shouldn't care if I talk to him. She just kept saying I was crazy and I'd make a scene and embarrass both of us if I went to his work. I told her point blank, I do not believe you. And I will find out the truth. one way or another. After that, she just kind of broke down into tears again and ran into the guest room and slammed the door. Fine, whatever. I wasn't about to chase her. I slept, well, I stayed, on the couch. Didn't get a wink of actual sleep. I was too wound up, heart racing all night. By morning, I was exhausted and still furious. She came out looking like a wreck, I don't think she slept either. As she was getting ready to head out, to work, or maybe just to get away from me,

I reminded her, I'm going to talk to Jake today. She just shook her head and left without another word. Honestly, at that point I was 99.9% sure of the truth, but I still felt like I needed to hear it from the horse's mouth or catch them in something to remove all doubt. I was planning to head over to the gym in the afternoon when I knew he'd be working. Again word count, we'll write a new post, 3, I didn't even have to go hunt down Jake. A couple hours after my wife left the house, following our blowout and update 2, she showed back up at home. She must have called in sick to work or something, because she never comes home that early. She walked in looking absolutely distraught. I was in the living room, and she just kind of stood there at first, like she didn't

know how to start. Then she sat down and finally, finally cracked completely. Even, then, the truth came out in fragments. At first, she admitted to messing up with Jake, but tried to downplay it. She claimed they only kissed a few times. I almost laughed at how ridiculous that was. I said, we're way past the Just to Kiss stage. Try again. So then she confessed they had slept together, but she was like, we only hooked up twice, I swear, it didn't mean anything, it was just physical. I told her to stop lying. I told her to stop lying. and that I knew it was a full-blown affair lasting months. At that, I think she realized she had no cards left to play.

She just broke. She started sobbing and telling me everything. She confirmed it's been an ongoing affair for about four months, ever since not long after she started training with him. They would meet up whenever they could, at his apartment, in hotels, even once in the back of his damn car in a parking lot, I didn't need that mental image. Basically any time she told me she was with Anna or doing something on her own, she was likely with him.

It wasn't just a sex thing either, or at least it didn't stay that way. She admitted feelings got involved. She claimed she got in over her head, that she was confused and felt neglected by me and loved the attention he gave her. Listening to her tried to justify this with loneliness and feeling unattractive and all that jazz was just. I had to bite my tongue. It's like she was simultaneously blaming me and also saying it wasn't about me at all. There's no justification that makes it okay. One of the most infuriating details was that she had been spending our money on this asshole.

I asked if Jake ever spent a dime on her or if it was all on her, our, tab. She admitted that, yeah, she paid for most of it. She tried to frame it like, I just wanted to enjoy nice things with him, so I paid for them. but it was clear he saw her as a meal ticket. She paid for hotel rooms, dinners out, bought him gifts, including a pricey smart watch I noticed on her credit card bill which she had passed off as something she bought for herself. I remember she told me oops, I splurged on a gadget and now I know that was a lie.

She even gave him a couple of loans because he was having money troubles. I was practically seeing red at this point. It's bad enough to cheat and lie, but to literally cite. off our joint finances to spoil some guy who's sleeping with you? Absolutely brutal. She was a blubbering mess through all of this. Between sobbed she kept saying how sorry she was and how she'd do anything to make it right. Please, please, I'll do anything. We can go to counseling, I'll never speak to him again, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. That's what she kept saying. She was on her knees at one point, clinging to my hand.

I pulled my hand away and told her to stop. Honestly, I was weirdly calm by now. Like beyond the anger, beyond the hurt, I was just done. I think she could tell, because my flat effect seemed to scare her. I asked her, very directly, if she loved him. She shook her head violently and said, no, absolutely not, I never loved him. It was infatuation, lust, I was stupid, I thought it was exciting but it meant nothing, I swear. She went on about how she never wanted to leave me, how she was basically living a double

life and hated herself for it, yada yada. She said a lot, most of which I just let wash over me. At some point I remember her saying she felt relieved I finally knew, because the guilt was eating her alive. Funny way of showing it, considering how hard she tried to lie earlier. In the end, I just told her I needed space and time. I said I couldn't look at her or so. I said I couldn't look at her or speak to her for a while, and that she should leave the house for the time being. She was terrified I'd go tell everyone or do something drastic. Frankly, I didn't have the energy for any of that in that moment. I just needed her gone. She asked where she should go, and I suggested her parents' place or her sisters. She kept bawling and asking if this was the end for us, begging me

not to give up. I didn't answer that question because I honestly didn't have an answer yet. I just said, I can't deal with you right now. Please, just go. She finally agreed to leave. She packed a bag while still sobbing uncontrollably. Watching her walk out the door was surreal. After she left, I did end up breaking down, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I probably cried harder than I've ever cried in my adult life. The mix of betrayal, hurt, anger, just all of it coming out. It was not pretty. Once that was out of my system, I went into practical mode. I called my older brother and told him what happened. He was at my place within an hour. I guess he told my parents to, because they blew up my phone, but I wasn't up for talking to them yet beyond a text saying

I'm okay. My brother basically dragged me out of the house to get some fresh air, which helped a little. That first night after she left, I actually managed to get a few hours of sleep purely from emotional exhaustion. Having my brother around helped keep me grounded. The next morning, I started making calls. First to a locksmith, I got the locks changed. I then set up consultations with two divorce lawyers. I'm pretty much 99% sure I'm going to file for divorce, but I want to know my options and how the process works given the infidelity and all that. We don't have kids, thank God, and we rent our place, so it should be fairly clean to split. The biggest thing is just dividing some assets and accounts.

I already moved half of our joint savings into a separate account only under my name. My lawyer will sort out what's fair later, but I wasn't about to let her keep potentially spending our money on that loser. I haven't been responding to most of my wife's texts or calls since she left, except for one message to let her know I was alive and just needed time. She's been messaging walls of apologies every few hours, professing her love, saying she's a horrible person and that she'll wait as long as it takes for me. I read them, but I haven't replied. I mean, what is there to say? She wants a chance to fix this, but I'm really not seeing

how that's possible. I'll likely be moving forward with the divorce, but I'll update once I have everything in order. Right now I'm just taking it one day at a time. Update 4, it's been about two weeks since the big blow-up, and I wanted to close the loop here with what's happening now. A lot has gone down. First off, I did indeed file for divorce. I met with a lawyer, got the paperwork drawn up, and had my wife served a few days ago. I made sure to have all the evidence, texts, emails, etc. Documented, though being in a no-fault state, it's not strictly needed legally, but I wanted everything noted. She did not take being served well. She showed up at the house shortly after getting the papers, crying and begging to talk. I let her in because

I wanted to remain civil and also I admit a part of me wanted to hear what she'd say now that the jig is truly up. What followed was about an hour of her alternating between sobbing apologies and making promises. She said she's cut all contact with Jake. Apparently she met up with him once after everything to officially break it off. I didn't even ask for details on that, I don't care. She insisted he meant nothing, that it was some messed up escapism or midlife crisis on her part. She begged for another chance. She floated every idea, marriage counseling, a post-snup agreement, giving me full access to all her communications, whatever it takes. She even said if I wanted to go sleep with someone else to even the score, she'd accepted, that was a particularly low

moment in the conversation, and I shut that down fast, I'm not interested in retaliatory or revenge cheating or whatever twisted logic that was. I listened to her, but I didn't really engage much. I've done my crying and yelling already. At this point, I'm just drained. I told her as calmly as possible that I'm moving forward with the divorce because I genuinely believe we're beyond repair. I told her I don't hate her. That said, I also told her I can't forgive what she did or ever trust her again. The trust is dead and I have zero interest in trying to resurrect it. She kept wailing that she'd be lost without me, that I'm her whole world, etc. Watching her in that state was almost pathetic. I realized I had no sympathy left for her, though.

I stayed calm and just repeated that there's no coming back from this. I hope she gets whatever help she needs, but we're done. Eventually I had to gently usher her out because it was going nowhere. I think reality is finally sinking in for her now. She's been texting me since then with long apologies and remember when memory joggers and all that, but I either don't respond or I just reply that nothing has changed. I haven't seen her in person since that day, and I don't plan to accept through lawyers. She's staying with her parents, from what I know. During all this, I've had a lot of support from people around me.

My family has been incredible, my mom basically wanted to drive over and slap my wife. wife, but I told her to stay out of it. My friends have been keeping me busy, inviting me out to do stuff, crashing at my place so I'm not alone, etc. It helps. I did start seeing a therapist on my own, just to work through the anger and hurt in a healthy way. That's a work in progress, but I think it's the right move. I also ended up talking quite a bit with Anna's husband, the one who initially forced the truth out. He and I have sort of bonded over this messed up situation. He and I have sort of bonded over this messed up situation. We met up for a beers. He's understandably furious with my wife for dragging his wife into this, and furious with Anna for going along with it. But he told me they are in

couples therapy and trying to work through it. He hasn't filed for divorce or anything at this point. He said Anna has been doing everything she can to make amends, she even offered him full access to her phone, accounts, whatever he needs to rebuild trust. He's still on the fence, I think. but he does love her and might give her a chance if she keeps showing true remorse. I told him whatever he decides, I respect it. Everyone's threshold is different. He did mention that Anna really wanted to apologize to me again too, but she's giving me space for now.

Honestly, I'm not mad at Anna anymore. I was at first, but I realized she was trying, poorly, to be a loyal friend and got herself in a bad spot. She eventually did the right thing by telling me, I don't exactly want to hang out or anything. But I told her husband to tell her I hold no grudges and I appreciate that she told me the truth in the end. That seemed to mean a lot to both of them.

Now, the question a few people have already asked me, what about Jake, the trainer? Did I ever confront him or have it out with him? The answer is no, I haven't spoken to him and I don't really plan to. Believe me, the caveman part of my brain fantasized about finding him and knocking him and knocking his teeth out. But in reality, he's not worth me catching an assault charge. He's honestly irrelevant now. I'm not shedding any tears for the guy.

I doubt he and my wife will be riding off into the sunset together either, especially now that she's broke and he's just a gym trainer. But whatever happens with them, if anything, is not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my problem anymore. So yeah, that's where I'm at. divorce is underway, the ex-wife to be is out of the house, and I'm focusing on getting my life back on track. It still hurts, I won't lie. Some days I'm angry, some days I'm just sad. But each day that passes, I feel a tiny bit more like myself. I know for sure that ending this marriage

is the right call. The amount of deceit and disrespect was just beyond anything I could work with. I'm looking ahead now. I've leaned on friends and family. I'm keeping myself busy with work and hobbies, and I'm taking care of myself. It's going to take time to heal, but I'll get there. I want to thank everyone who read my story and reached out with advice or support. Honestly, when I first wrote that original post, I never imagined it would unfold like this, but the support and perspective I've gotten, even from Internet strangers, has been amazing. It helped me feel not so alone during some dark moments.