Reddit Stories - Spouse COVERTLY CONTINUED COMMUNICATING with his former partner, and hurried to console her

Episode Date: June 28, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #communication #trustissues #marriage #conflictSummary: A spouse covertly continued communicating with their former partner, rushing to console them. This behavior raises questions about trust and boundaries in the marriage.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, communication, trust, marriage, conflict, boundaries, infidelity, secrets, deception, emotionalaffairs, trustissues, partnercommunication, marriagecounseling, covertcommunication, relationshipadviceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse covertly continued communicating with his former partner and hurried to console her when she phoned him in distress, later arriving home intoxicated with marks of lip color, prompting me to prepare my belongings and left him. I, 32F, and my husband, 38M, have been married for three years. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, but we're a relatively happy couple. Though, in the beginning of our relationship, he was also dating Angela. 24F, five years ago, L was unaware of this other relationship, but when I found out, I confronted

him and he told me that since we weren't officially dating that he didn't know we were exclusive. I told him that if he didn't cut off this relationship with Angela, that I was going to break it off. We left it at that and we didn't talk for a while when he came to my apartment unexpectedly weeks later saying it was over with Angela and that he wanted to try again and asked me to be his girlfriend. Ever since then we have been a pretty normal couple, we have our moments but our relationship is going good and I believe he is my soulmate. Recently there's been an issue in our relationship though, Angela. Three weeks ago, we were out running errands and went to a small

boba shop that just opened up next to our local grocery store as we were off to the side looking at the menu. From the corner of my eye I see a woman that looks similar to Angela walk in, I do a double take and sure enough it's her. I feel an intense amount of dread and hope that hubby doesn't see her. As I'm internally panicking, I hear a woman's voice call for my husband. And as you might have guessed, it was Angela. My husband turns around and they have a small but awkward conversation. The whole time I just disassociate and stare off to the distance until she asks my husband is that your wife?

To which she just nods and holds my hand. I pretty much just awkwardly smile and pray this encounter would end the whole time. Eventually she gets in line and we wait behind. her, I felt so embarrassed, I immediately got out drinks and leave. That was that, until two weeks ago when I saw my husband's phone light up to a Facebook Messenger notification, I asked him who it was from as he never uses Messenger. He said it was from an old friend, I asked who and he said I wouldn't know. I became suspicious but wasn't necessarily worried because I just assumed it was a friend. Until a few days later when he got another Facebook Messenger notification

while I was ordering food off his phone. It was from Angela. I was shocked and confused. I went to their messages and everything seemed friendly and casual, though because of their history, I felt very uncomfortable with them talking. I went up to him and confronted him about the texts and asked why she was texting him.

He told me that after running into her she friend him on Facebook and they began talking. He assured me it was all casual, but I still told him I didn't want him talking to her. He assured me he would stop. I told him to unfriend her to which he hesitated to, but eventually did. There was no issue or word from Angela until last night, to which from my knowledge she spammed messaged my husband, and even called him crying telling him that her mother was sick,

I guess he knew her mother and felt sympathy towards her. Angela vented to him about how she had no one and she just needed someone to comfort her. She asked my husband if he could come and be there for her to which he said yes, I had no idea he was doing this until I saw him putting his shoes on near the door. I asked him where he was going and he told me the story of Angela's mom and that she needed someone to be with her. I told him to not go, and we had a small argument. He was rushing out the door, so I blocked him in and said that if he was going to go see and comfort his ex-girlfriend, that he wasn't allowed back in. He scoffed and pushed past me, I watched as he left, I went back inside, poured a few drinks while I tried my hardest to not cry

and blow up his phone. Eventually, three hours passed and he came back home, I sat on the couch during this and as he came in I told him that he wasn't allowed to sleep here, he was shocked, and we got into another argument and to cut it short. He told me he had nowhere to go, so I told him that maybe he should go to Angela as they seemed to help each other a lot. He then left again and I haven't heard anything from him. L.M. currently staying up and have had a few drinks.

I decided to post this on Reddit as I feel like I might have overreacted and been in a whole, I just need advice on how to handle this whole situation as I'm barely able to process what to do. I'm sorry if this was long, I needed to vent. Edit, hi everyone, goodness so many of you, thank you everyone for commenting and your support. I'm going to respond to some comments right now. Small update, I eventually went to sleep and sent a text that I was sick and wasn't coming into work today. It's currently 2 p.m. where I live and I've just been napping and kind of out of it. I haven't heard from him at all and he hasn't came back home. I'm kind of worried as I don't know where he's at. His location has been off since yesterday. I might send him a text later to make sure he's okay. I don't know if this is a good idea as I'm not in the best mindset right now and have been in zombie mode. As of now, I'm trying to process what even happened as it went by so fast. I'll keep you all updated if anything. happens. Thank you all again. Update 1, March 4th, 2025. Hi everyone, it's been eight days since I

posted my original post, and I finally have an update for you all. I'm sorry it took long, but I've been sick. This is going to be long, so I apologize as I have to address a few things. I want to first say thank you to those that gave helpful and supportive comments, and to those that said I drove my husband straight to another woman's arms or I was hostile and controlling, first, if my husband was willing to go to another woman when in an argument with his wife, then is he really my husband? I mean I have some standards to not marry an awful person. Second, to those that said I was controlling and hostile towards Angela, if you have a partner and are okay with them doing something like this, then that's something within your boundaries,

not mine. I don't like having contact with exes or having my husband be in contact with his exes. Finally the age gap, I explained the story of how they met and such on a comment but to sum it up, she had originally lied about her age, I didn't know her age or anything about her until I was engaged. Okay on to what happened. He eventually came home later than day. I was watching TV on the couch when he walked in, we looked at each other and didn't say anything. He went to our room, took a shower and fell asleep.

I was still upset with him so I avoided going to check up on him or even talk to him so I waited in the living room slash kitchen until a few hours later when he woke up. I decided to make dinner, he came out, sat on the couch and we ate in silence before he asked if I wanted to talk, I said I did and he explained what happened. From what he told me, when we saw her at the Boba shop, she had friend him on Facebook later that day. He didn't friend her back though and ignored it, and eventually a few days later she sent him a message request. This is when he handed me his phone to see the messages. To sum it up, she texted him a few times over a range of days without an answer, from pleasantries, updates about her life and finally a suicidal message.

Now I don't know what is allowed to be said in this subreddit but my husband did respond out of worry for another person, or so he claimed. They talked a lot about her addictions, self-harm and other very personal things relating to that, through reading I did find out she had a boyfriend, and that he was actually 51 years old. My husband, my husband was a woman. My husband's husband calmed her down and they stopped talking for a few days, when she reached out again and the same thing happened. This repeated again, where he wouldn't respond until she guilt him too. When I had found out and told him to block her, he actually didn't block her out of fear, but he didn't respond to her messages until that night. She actually sent very concerning

messages beforehand and called him on messenger, he answered and he said that she was wailing and screaming in pain, now I don't want to say too much, but she had told him she attempted by taking a bunch of pills because of her mother, which is why he rushed to her. When he got there, he told me she was acting strangely and almost pretending to have done what she did. He tried to get her to the hospital to which she refused. After pleading for a while, he was getting ready to call 911 when she confessed she didn't actually take any pills. He was confused and asked why she said she did. She couldn't give him a clear answer. My husband was going to leave when she begged him to let her explain again. She said her mom is the only person who cares about her.

and that she needed somebody with her after she found out she was sick and that she had no one but my husband and my husband wouldn't come otherwise if it wasn't urgent. My husband wasn't buying it, so he asked if her mom was even sick to which she denied it but seemed to be lying. My husband then left. He told me he just stayed in his car for a while before coming back home and that's when the confrontation happened. He said he was very tired and felt horrible so he wasn't in the right headspace to explain right then and there. He also told me he didn't go back to Angela's but instead just stayed in his car, got food, and pretty much wandered town until he got home later that day. After this, I felt very overwhelmed. I usually

like to take time to myself to process things before making a decision or response, so I told him I needed time. I didn't interact with him until the next morning and told him I needed more time before talking to him again and was going to stay with my parents for a few day. And now we're here. A few days actually turned into a week because as soon as I got here, I got sick. So I haven't felt good enough to even drive back home, much less process or think much. I secretly don't even know how or what to do, like how do we just go back to normal. I still feel betrayed and even though he didn't cheat, I don't trust him, and I don't even know if he's telling the truth. I mean divorce is extreme for something so minor, but I don't know.

I have to go back home tomorrow as I feel a bit better and I can't hide out here forever and I have responsibilities, even though it's been a nice escape and being with my family has been great. I haven't talked much to my husband except through texts so tomorrow will be our first face-to-face conversation in a week. So that's the update. What actually reminded me to do this update was I got a random message request on Instagram a few hours ago from a burner account. It's a picture and I'm kind of scared to open it. I know it's probably a scam thing, but something in my gut is telling me it's connected to Angela and I don't know if I should open it.

Update, so I opened the picture. It was a screenshot from what I assume is Angela's private story of her in lingerie with a caption that says she'll just have to taste me when she's kissing him. Comments where OPP has replied, comment or one, well, the good news is that you're not the only one who's been feeling sick lately. The bad news is that it's not just physical, it's also emotional after reading this update. Hang in there, OPP. O-O-O-P, yes, sadly, curse you germs.

But I feel like emotionally, I've been struggling a lot as I don't really know what to do or how to process this. I want to go to my husband and ask for his help like always, but I know I can't. Especially if I can't even trust his word and I don't know if I'll even have my husband soon. I'm very lost. I'm dreading going back home and facing the music. Comment or two, send him the picture and ask, what that's all about. OOP, I saved the photo and I'm planning on doing so later tonight.

I'm very anxious when it comes to this kind of stuff, so I'm trying to calm my nerves first. Comment or three, he eventually came home later than day. I was watching TV on the couch when he walked in, we looked at each other and didn't say anything. He went to our room, took a shower and fell asleep as it normal for him to walk in the house and take a shower in the early afternoonish, a guest based on your timeline? OOP, no it isn't. He usually showers at night, but he hadn't the night prior, so I just assume he showered because of that. Update 2, hi everyone, it's been a while and I know an update has been

overdue and I feel like I can finally now give you guys one. It's been a few weeks and a lot of stressful things have happened so I apologize for not updating sooner. I finally have a minute to update and I'm going to try to summarize events as a lot has happened so I'm sorry if details seemed to be missing. When I went back home, my husband wasn't there, he was at work, I contemplated a ton and was very nervous to confront him as I dislike confrontation and what comes out of it. I was also sick and feeling weak, so I just decided to go to sleep and confront him the next morning. The next morning came and we did talk. At first it was awkward small talk over breakfast. He was being extra sweet though since he bought me coffee before I woke up, it was nice.

I didn't want to make a huge deal out of it so I just mentioned the picture. he was somehow offended and asked to see it. I showed him and he said something like, Oh, it's just song lyrics and means nothing we went back and forth on this. Don't fully remember what was said, but ultimately I just let it go. I went back to work the next day, and for the next few days me and him would argue about Angela almost every day. The only times we didn't argue is when we would ignore each other which was done 90% of the time. I know this was childish of us to do, but I was mad at him and just didn't feel ready to try and repair things,

getting a divorce or separating also felt extreme at the time as I had no evidence of him cheating, and it was just a theory. Work was honestly like an escape as I had my friends slash co-workers there and was able to just be away. For reference I worked at a small independently owned office as a receptionist. I've worked there for five years and it was my favorite job. Our boss was great, pay was good, I had friends there and benefits were amazing and despite occasionally being yelled at over the phone, it was honestly the best job I've ever worked at. Then randomly at work we started to get prank calls. Now it's not totally unusual, but these ones would happen every day. It would usually be someone just screaming and then hanging up.

We were instructed to wait for the other person to speak first during this. After a few days these prank calls did stop, but we kept getting calls from different people asking to talk to our boss, which was odd because rarely would we get this request. This happened multiple times a day for a few days. My boss usually sends these calls to voicemail as he's busy so few days later I'm about to leave when he asks if I can stay for a bit and talk to him in his office. I did and this is where he showed me the voicemails and asked if I knew these people. They were all complaints about me.

I didn't recognize any of the voices so I said no. My boss assumed these weren't real but to try and find out who these people might be. Because of this when someone would call and ask to talk to our boss we had to ask for a phone number and name. Some would provide it, some wouldn't. Eventually this would happen every single hour and again all complaints about me. My boss decided to just send me home for a few days to see if the calls would end, which they didn't. A few days turned into a week and then I got a call and was fired. From what my co-workers told me the calls continued and my boss was just sick of it as he would have to call back each time and decided it was just easier to fire me. I suspect this was

Angela and her friends doing this to try to get me fired and they succeeded. During the week I was home, it was driving me crazy as sometimes I would have to be home with my husband and all I wanted to do was just argue. Though no issues until I caught him stalking Angela's Instagram. He would sleep on the couch and I would sleep in the room. I caught him when I saw him on his phone from the hallway. I honestly was just tired from it all so I did blow up at him. His excuse was he just wanted to check up on her. When I told him I was fired and that I suspected it was Angela, he basically called me crazy and said she would never do anything like that. I was so drained that I didn't even argue. In fact, I didn't even talk to him anymore, which is probably why

he felt it was okay to come home late one night, drunk with faded lipstick on and glitter, we had another argument and he left. He didn't come back for days and sent flowers and my favorite food to me with a note that said, I'm sorry, I love you. He came home later that day and he looked pretty distraught and wanted to explain, I let him. His reasoning was that he felt awful about how our relationship was and needed to de-stress from it. He went out with a few friends for drinks and some girl kissed him and was dancing up on him. He said he rejected her immediately and felt disgusted. I don't know if I believe that still. I asked about Angela and if he was still talking to her to which he said no, but she did reach out a few times and he did see her once.

I asked if they ever slept with each other and he said no, but she kissed him and he rejected her. I asked a whole bunch of other questions about our relationship and some of the answers did hurt. I told him I wanted to separate just for a little bit. He broke down crying and begged me not to leave him. I apologized and packed most of my things as he was on his knees next to me apologizing. I ignored him and left. For the last two weeks, I've been at my parents' house. I finally told them what happened and they despise him. He's been up here almost daily trying to talk to me and my parents refused to let him see me. My parents live in the next town over. He sent me food, flowers, gift cards, literally anything

you can door-dash, he sent. I've gotten spam calls and messages from him, and I've blocked him. Yet he's gotten his family and some of my distant relatives to do the same. Honestly, I'm tired of him and have begged him to stop trying to contact me, obviously hasn't worked much. For my next moves I am thinking of divorce, but I'm just not ready yet. None of this feels real, I just need to take time and heal a little before making that decision. I have a feeling divorce is going to be hard, so I just can't handle that yet or another option is therapy and try to reconcile. I'm currently trying to find a job in my parents' town, and I plan to stay here for a while until I'm able to move on fully. Also, I know I didn't talk about her much, but as for Angela, I have no idea if he's talking to her still or anything about her and I want to keep it that way.

I don't think there is going to be another update since our relationship is pretty much over. Thank you to those who checked up on me and commented advice I'm forever grateful.