Reddit Stories - Spouse DECLARED she was DEPARTING from me for her SUPERVISOR during our decade

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #marriage #divorce #infidelity #heartbreakSummary: My spouse DECLARED she was DEPARTING from me for her SUPERVISOR during our decade.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, marriage, divorce, infidelity, heartbreak, spouse, supervisor, departing, decade, betrayal, emotional, turmoil, family, support, adviceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse declared she was departing for me for her supervisor during our decade celebration event. However, her relatives rejected her immediately, and now, seven moons later, consequences have taken effect. Work. I'm still in shock as I write this. Three days ago, my whole life imploded, and I'm trying to make sense of what happened by getting it all down. This is hard to even type out. I never thought I'd be one of those guys posting their relationship disasters on Reddit.

Using Mark and Sarah as our names because those seem to be the go-to-fake names on this sub, and I'm paranoid about anyone we know connecting this to us. Even though the situation is so insane, I'm pretty sure anyone who was there would recognize it instantly. I guess I should start by saying that until three days ago, I thought I had a decent marriage. Not perfect, whose is? But stable. We had plans for the future, but I guess that went down the drain. For context, my wife Sarah has always had.

Let's call it an intense personality. When she doesn't get her way or someone challenges her ideas, she goes from zero to 100 real quick. She talks fast, gets loud, sometimes throws small objects, slams doors, and basically acts like a hurricane until people bend to her will. Then she'll give you the silent treatment until she gets. what she wants. I've put up with this for years because I loved her, and honestly, I just got used to accommodating her to avoid the drama. I know how that sounds. Trust me, I do. But

you know how it goes, you don't notice the water getting hotter until you're already boiling. After ten years together, I'd developed all these coping mechanisms, all these ways of trying to keep the peace. I'd learn to predict her moods, to catch the first signs of a brewing storm, and do whatever I could to diffuse it before it exploded. I should give you a couple examples before I get to the main event, just so you understand what I was dealing with all these years. Three years ago, we were planning some major renovations on our house. Nothing too crazy, updating the kitchen, redoing the master bath, that kind of thing. We'd been saving for it for years, and I was excited to finally make our house feel more like ours instead of just the starter home we

bought. Sarah took charge of the project right away, which was fine with me since she's always had a better eye for design. But then she picked a contractor she liked without doing any comparison shopping. Just decided this guy was the one based on a single meeting where he apparently charmed the pants off her. When I looked at their quote, which was well over our budget, I noticed some red flags. The timeline seemed way too optimistic. They were claiming they could gut and rebuild our entire kitchen in like two weeks, which anyone who's ever done renovations knows is laughable. Plus, the materials section was suspiciously vague. Just premium countertops and high-quality cabinetry without any specifics about brands, models, or even materials.

I'd read enough renovation horror stories on Reddit to know this was a recipe for disaster. So I gently suggested we get a couple more estimates to compare. I wasn't accusing her. I wasn't accusing her of making a bad choice, I just thought it was the smart thing to do with such a big investment. Well, you'd have thought I'd suggested we set the house on fire. She immediately lost her shit. Started screaming that I was sabotaging the project, that I didn't trust her judgment, and that she'd handle everything herself. She said I was always like this, always finding problems with her ideas, always trying to make her feel stupid. Then she stormed out and gave me the silent treatment for two days. Two full days of her acting like I was invisible in our own

home, all because I suggested getting multiple quotes for a major house renovation. I finally wore her down about getting a second opinion, mostly by leaving renovation horror stories open on my laptop where she could accidentally see them. We eventually did get a second quote, and surprise, the first contractor was way overpriced with an unrealistic timeline. The second company pointed out all kinds of issues the first guy had glossed over. Sarah went with the second company but never acknowledged she was wrong or apologized for her outburst. Just pretended the whole fight never happened and proceeded as if going with the second

contractor had been her plan all along. I was so relieved we weren't getting scammed that I didn't push it, just added it to the list of battles not worth fighting. Another time, about 18 months ago, we were planning our annual vacation. It was my turn to pick the destination, we'd always take in turns, a system that worked well for us. We had previously talked about doing something outdoorsy, maybe a cabin near a national park with some good hiking trails. We both enjoy the outdoors, or at least, I thought we both did. Sarah had always seemed to have a good time on our previous hike trips. We'd spend our evenings by the campfire, drinking wine and talking for hours under the

stars. Those were some of my favorite memories of our relationship, actually. I'd been researching options for months, had a whole folder of bookmarks on my laptop, affordable cabins near Yosemite, guided hiking tours, even a place that would deliver gourmet meal kits to your cabin so we could cook together without having to plan everything ourselves. I was genuinely excited about it, kept dropping little hints about what I was planning, and Sarah seemed interested, asking questions and appearing to look forward to it. But then, out of nowhere, she came home one day waving a travel magazine. She'd read about some luxury resort in the Caribbean with private plunge pools and personal butlers and God knows what else. Suddenly, that's where we were going, even though it was

way over our agreed vacation budget, like, triple what we'd plan to spend. When I reminded her about the outdoor plans I'd been working on for months and gently mentioned the budget issue, she went ballistic. Started yelling that I was being difficult on purpose and trying to deprive her of experiences that everyone else gets to have, said that all our friends got to go on fancy vacations, not true, and that I was embarrassing her by being cheap, also not true, I'm just responsible with our money. She threw a decorative pillow across the room, knocking over and breaking a picture frame

with our wedding photo in it, which felt symbolic, looking back on it now, and declared the outdoor trip wasn't happening. She said she'd booked the fancy hotel herself if I was going to be such a killjoy. Then she slammed our bedroom door so hard a painting fell off the wall and ignored me for hours. I ended up sleeping on the couch, and when I tried to bring it up the next morning, she acted like nothing had happened. The next day, she booked the resort, putting it on our joint credit card before I could object further. I didn't fight it because, what was the point? She'd already made up her mind, and I knew from experience that continuing to resist would just lead to days or weeks of tension

and passive-aggressive jabs. We went to the fancy hotel. It was nice, I guess, but I couldn't enjoy it knowing what it caused us and how we ended up there. This pattern repeated over and over through our marriage, I'd question or disagree with something, she'd have a dramatic outburst, give me the silent treatment, then do whatever the hell she wanted anyway. I usually just stated my opinion calmly, watched her explode, then ended up going along with her plans because it was easier than dealing with a fallout. Our friends used to joke about how Sarah wore the pants in our relationship. They'd elbow me and say things like, happy wife, happy life, right Mark.

And I'd laugh along with them because what else could I do? admit that I was afraid of my own wife's temper, that I'd essentially given up trying to be an equal partner in my own marriage because it wasn't worth the emotional warfare. I can see how unhealthy the whole dynamic was, but you know how it is, when you're in it, it just becomes your normal. You adjust, you adapt, you tell yourself every relationship has its quirks. I did love her, and we had good times too. But the constant walking on eggshells, the unpredictable explosions, the feeling that my opinions and preferences always came second. It wore me down over the years. I just didn't realize how much until everything came crashing

down. Now for what happened three nights ago, the night that destroyed my marriage, and any illusions I still had about who my wife really was. We were celebrating our 10th anniversary with about 50 people at this nice event space downtown that we'd rented out for the evening. Sarah had handled most of the planning, which was fine with me. The guest list included our closest friends, several of my co-workers, and Sarah's family, her parents and two younger brothers. My own family lives abroad, my parents retired to Portugal a few years ago, and my sisters in Australia, so they couldn't make it, which now seems like a blessing in disguise.

At least they were spared witnessing the shit show in person. The evening had been going well up to that point. The food was great, the bar was open, people were mingling and having a good time. Several guests had given little toasts during dinner, sharing memories and congratulating us. Sarah seemed happy, was being affectionate with me, holding my hand under the table, leaning into whisper jokes about the speeches. After dinner wrapped up, I was about to go up to this small stage area to thank everyone for coming. I prepared a short speech expressing my gratitude to our guests and saying a few nice things about Sarah and our decade together.

But before I could make my way up there, Sarah suddenly walked up on stage with her boss, David. I had no idea he was even coming to the party, he hadn't been on the guest list we'd discussed. Apparently, he showed up about an hour into the event after Sarah had briefly left and returned with him. Her family looked surprised to see him too. I caught her dad giving her mom a confused look when David walked in. Sarah grabbed the microphone from the stand, and the room got quiet as people turned to look at her. She had this strange smile on her face, not her usual warm smile but something different, almost triumphant. She started talking about how tonight was a celebration, but not just of our

ten years together. It was about a new path for her. I remember feeling a twinge of confusion but assumed she was talking about a job promotion or something. Then, with absolutely no warning, she announced that she was leaving me. The room went dead silent. Everyone was looking back and forth between us, completely shocked. I felt like someone had just knocked all the air out of my lungs. My brain couldn't process what was happening, like the words didn't make sense together. Sarah and leaving me were concepts that couldn't occupy the same space in my universe. I kept thinking there must be some mistake that I'd misheard or that this was some kind of bizarre joke. But then she kept going and it got so much worse.

She pointed to David standing beside her, he's about ten years older than us, divorced twice already from what I'd heard, and said she was leaving me for him because she had found someone better, someone who was truly man enough to give me what I want, which is a baby and building a family. Those words, man enough they cut through me like a knife. We'd been trying for a baby for the last few years without success, and I'd recently found out I had some fertility issues. It was something I was still coming to terms with, something deeply personal that we'd only shared with our closest family members.

And there she was, throwing it in my face in front of everyone we knew. She finished by saying, this is happening now. This is my choice, and I am moving forward with it. In this cold, determined voice I barely recognized. Like she was announcing a business decision instead of blowing up a decade-long marriage. I just stood there, frozen. It felt like I'd been punched in the gut. No, worse, like I'd been hit by a truck and was somehow still standing.

I couldn't breathe. My face felt hot, then cold. The room seemed to tilt and sway around me. I looked around at all these people staring at me with pity and shock. Friends who had just been congratulating us, co-workers who would now have this as their dominant memory of me, Sarah's family who looked as blindsided as I felt. Then I looked back at Sarah standing proudly next to her fucking boss, this guy who'd been in our home for dinner parties, who'd shaken my hand and looked me in the eye while apparently

sleeping with my wife behind my back. My mind was racing, trying to piece together when this have started, how long it had been going on, how I could have missed all the signs. We'd had dinner together just the night before, talking about the party details. She'd kissed me goodbye that morning before work. How do you go from that to publicly humiliating your husband of ten years? What kind of person does that? Before I could even begin to formulate a response, Sarah's father suddenly stood up from his table. He pointed at Sarah and said, your behavior is shameful.

Sarah. The things you are saying about Mark are hurtful and untrue, and doing this in front of everyone is beyond disrespectful. Her mother stood up next and added, we did not raise you to behave this way. We do not support what you are doing, not one bit. But her father wasn't done. He delivered the final blow, because of your actions tonight, the way you've humiliated your husband and yourself, we consider you to have cut yourself off from this family. We disliked. We So new, Sarah. All four of them nodded in agreement and walked out of the venue, not even looking back when Sarah called after them.

I've known Sarah's family for over a decade. They're traditional but loving people, big on family loyalty and doing the right thing. I'd never seen them like this, so united in their disgust and disappointment. I think that's when the reality of what was happening truly hit me, if even her own family, who had always supported and loved her unconditionally, were walking away from her over this, then what she'd done was truly beyond the pale. Sarah's clearly hadn't expected that reaction. She started screaming after them, her voice high-pitched and panicked,

though I couldn't make out her exact words over the blood rushing in my ears. David tried to put his hand on her arm in what looked like an attempt to calm her down, but she yanked it away violently. In that moment, she looked completely unhinged, a far cry from the confident woman who had just announced she was leaving me for a better man moments before. I finally snapped out of my shock. A strange calm came over me as I walked up to the stage. I think it was my brain's way of protecting me, shutting down all emotions so I could function. I kept my voice perfectly level, cold, even, as I looked both of them in the eye

and said, you need to leave. Now, I could hear how different my voice sounded, like it belonged to someone else. David, that smug bastard, actually had the audacity to try to smooth things over. He started to say, Mark, we need to talk. But I cut him off mid-sentence. No, we don't, you both need to get the fuck out of here, before I punch your nose in. Right now. I pointed toward the exit her family had used. Something in my expression must have told them I wasn't going to say it a third time. They exchanged a look, then moved from the stage to a nearby table where they'd left some personal items. After they left, 50 people, and not a single word being spoken. Just shocked faces staring at me, waiting to see what I would do next. My boss was there with his wife,

some of my oldest friends, people who had known us as a couple for our entire relationship. I felt a responsibility to say something, to somehow provide closure to this absolute train wreck of an evening. I walked back to the stage area. I cleared my throat and said, I think it's clear that the party is over. I'm sorry it had to end this way. My voice cracked a little, but I pushed through it. Thank you all for coming tonight. I appreciate your support.

What else could I say? Surprise, my wife's been cheating on me with her boss, and I found out the same time you did. Or don't worry, I'm only dying inside. There was nothing that could salvage the situation. No words that could make any of us forget what had just happened. People started gathering their things, whispering to each other, giving me these awful looks of pity as they headed for the door. A few of my closer friends came up to me, awkwardly patted my shoulder or gave me brief hugs,

mumbling things like call if you need anything or I'm so sorry. Man. I nodded mechanically, thank them, but I couldn't really process anything they were saying. It was like I was underwater, everything muffled and distant. Within about 30 minutes, the place was empty except for the venue staff, who were clearly uncomfortable and trying to be as unobtrusive as possible as they started cleaning up. I stayed to help with the initial cleanup, partly because it was in our rental agreement, but mostly because I needed something to do, some normal task to focus on while my brain tried

to catch up with reality. The venue manager kept giving me these sympathetic looks, which somehow made everything worse. I paid the remaining balance we owed, signed whatever paperwork she put in front of me, and finally left. When I got home and walked into our empty house it hit me all over again. Ten years of marriage, gone. I sat on the edge of our bed, the bed we'd shared for a decade, and finally broke down. I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually, I pulled myself together enough to check my phone.

I had a flood of texts from Sarah. Her messages were all over the place, shocked about her family's reaction. I can't believe they would do this to me, admitting the announcement was a mistake but not backing down on leaving me, I shouldn't have done it that way, but you have to understand I need to move on, suggesting we talk or see a counselor. We should sit down with someone who can help us through this transition, claiming it was a cry for help, without explaining what help she needed or why she'd choose to cry for help by publicly humiliating me, and then somehow trying to blame me for her decision to leave, if you had been more attentive, if you had taken my needs more seriously.

It wouldn't have come to this. The messages kept changing in tone and content, like she was desperately throwing everything at the wall to see what would stick. One minute she was the victim of her cruel family, the next she was magnanimously offering to talk things through with me, then she was the wrong party who had been driven to extreme measures by my failings as a husband. It was classic Sarah, unable to take responsibility for her actions, always looking for a way to spin the narrative so she came out looking better. But this time, there was no spinning it. She'd crossed a line that couldn't be uncrossed. I didn't reply to any of them or answer her calls. I decided contact a divorce lawyer the next morning and made an appointment to start the formal process of ending our marriage.

I'm writing this to document what happened, not to ask if what I'm doing is right. I know what I need to do. I'm just trying to make sense of how my life fell apart so completely in one night. Update, one week later. Thanks for all the comments on my first post. Some of you asked for more details about the party and Sarah's family's reaction, so I'll clarify a few things. The party was held in a private room we rented for the evening. Sarah's parents and brothers had been there from the start, sitting at a reserve table near the stage area.

My family couldn't attend because they live overseas. David, Sarah's boss, wasn't on the guest list, he showed up about an hour in after Sarah had briefly left and returned with him. Her family seemed surprised to see him too, based on their reactions. For those asking about Sarah's exact words, I don't remember the exact words, but it was something like, everybody, I have something to tell you. Tonight is not just about being married for 10 years. It is about a new path for me. I am leaving more. I am leaving Mark. I am leaving Mark for David, she pointed at him. I found someone who is better for me, someone who is truly man enough to give me what I want, which is a baby and building a family.

This is happening now. This is my choice, and I am moving forward with it. My decision to file for divorce immediately was based purely on these facts. She publicly ended our marriage, humiliated me in front of everyone we know, announced she was with another man. and said cruel, untrue things about me. The fact that her own family reacted so strongly and cut ties with her show just how serious and inexcusable her actions were. Her messages afterward were just damaged control, they didn't offer any real explanation or show any genuine remorse.

The morning after the party, I met with a divorce lawyer, explained everything that happened, provided the necessary information about our marriage, finances, and assets, and told him to prepare the divorce papers. He filed the petition for dissolution of marriage, which I signed, and had a process server deliver the papers to Sarah at our house, where she was still living at that point. Once Sarah got served, her messages became more frequent and aggressive. She kept demanding I withdraw the divorce petition, claimed I had no right to file for divorce, insisted the party incident was just a mistake that I was blowing out of proportion, and alternated between threatening me and insulting me.

She even had the nerve to say I was trying to ruin her life, as if she hadn't just blown up our marriage in the most public and humiliating way possible. I didn't respond to any of her messages but saved them all and forwarded the threatening ones to my lawyer. I instructed him to tell Sarah's lawyer, yes, she hired one quickly, that all future communication about the divorce had to go through our attorneys. I'm done talking to her directly. So that's where things stand, divorce proceedings have officially begun, we're communicating only through our lawyers, and I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my life.

Update, seven months later. It's been a while since my last update, and a lot has happened. The divorce is now finalized, and I'm finally starting to feel like I can breathe again. After Sarah got served with the divorce papers and hired her own lawyer, she filed her response to the petition for dissolution. In it, she conveniently left out the real reason for our separation, you know, her public announcement and humiliation of me, and had the audacity to request alimony. Fucking alimony

After publicly dumping me for another man and saying I wasn't man enough to give her a baby. Her request for spousal support was based on income disparity and the length of our marriage, but conveniently ignored the circumstances that led to our separation. It was like she thought she could rewrite history and pretend she was the victim somehow. Around the same time, I started hearing from mutual friends that Sarah was contacting them and spinning a very different version of events, trying to make herself look like the wrong party. The combination of her asking for my money in court while simultaneously trying to damage my reputation was the last straw.

When my lawyer showed me her alimony request, we discussed how courts in our state handle these situations. While judges primarily look at factors like the length of the marriage and income differences, the circumstances of the separation can sometimes be considered too. My lawyer sent a formal letter to Sarah's attorney stating that if she continued pursuing alimony, I would introduce detailed evidence about the circumstances of our separation. This would include sworn statements from me and potentially witness testimonies describing exactly what happened at the anniversary party, her public announcement about leaving me for her boss, the specific words she used to humiliate me, and her family's immediate and harsh reaction, including their

public disownment of her. We didn't make any threats outside the legal process, we simply stated what evidence would be presented in court if she insisted on seeking alimony. It was all above board and by the book. The effect was immediate. Within days, Sarah's lawyer informed mine that she was withdrawing her request for spousal support. They filed the formal paperwork shortly after, officially removing the alimony claim from the divorce case. I've heard through the grapevine that things haven't gone well for Sarah since that night. About two months after the party, she left or was fired from, her job at the company where David was her boss. Apparently, she hasn't been able to find comparable work since then. Her financial situation took a

nose dive, and she ended up having to move in with one of her cousins because she couldn't afford her own place. Her family has maintained their position and hasn't reconciled with her since the anniversary party, which limited her support network. So here's how everything played out in sequence. Sarah publicly ended our marriage at our anniversary party, her family disowned her on the spot, I filed for divorce the next day, she demanded alimony, I threatened to provide detailed evidence about her behavior, she withdrew the alimony request, she lost her job. And she had to move in with a relative due to financial hardship. The divorce is now final.

We reached an agreement on dividing our assets, which was relatively straightforward given our finances, and the court issued the decree dissolving our marriage. Sarah no longer works at her previous job, isn't receiving any support from me, and is living with her cousin. Her current situation is drastically different from where she was before all this went down. We have no direct contact anymore, everything goes through our lawyers if needed, which is rare now that the divorce is finalized. As far as I know, her family hasn't changed their stance and still isn't speaking to her.

I won't be posting any more updates about this situation. It's over, and I'm finally starting to move forward with my life. The past seven months have been the hard. of my life. For those wondering about David, apparently, he and Sarah didn't last long after her dramatic declaration of love. I heard they broke up around the same time she left the company, but I don't know the details, and frankly, I don't care. I want to thank everyone who offered support and advice through this nightmare. Your comments helped me stay strong when I was tempted to cave to Sarah's demands just to make the pain stop. I'm in a much better place now, and I'm

looking forward to whatever comes next.