Reddit Stories - Spouse erases our STEPCHILD'S UNIVERSITY funds and REQUESTS me to support her shopping

Episode Date: February 7, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #stepchild #universityfunds #relationshipadvice #familydrama #financialsupport  Summary: A spouse erases their stepchild's university funds, causing significant distress. They then request financial support for personal shopping instead. This situation raises questions about priorities, responsibilities, and the dynamics of blended families, prompting discussions on fairness and the impact of such decisions on the stepchild's future.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, stepfamily, financialissues, parenting, familyconflict, relationshipstruggles, universityfunds, shoppingaddiction, emotionalabuse, blendedfamilies, support, priorities, familyvalues, advice, dilemmas, lifechoicesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Episode with two stories, first part. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse erases our stepchild's university funds and requests me to support her shopping habits. I, a 38-year-old man, have been wedded to my partner, a 35-year-old woman, for two years. She also possesses a daughter, 16-F, from a previous marriage but her dad has never been in a picture so my wife has raised her daughter all by herself. My wife and I had been dating for three years before we got married so I know her relatively well. She's always been very cautious with money and I like that about her. As a single mother, she had to work really hard so she'd always been good with money. My family was poor growing up which is why I valued that as well.

My wife had told me that she has a substantial amount of money set aside for her daughter's college fund so she wouldn't have to rely on anyone else and hopefully, her daughter wouldn't have to take a student loan either. But a few weeks ago, my wife told me that she'd spent all the money and now, she expected me to pay for her daughter's college tuition. I didn't have a problem with it since I earned enough, but I did want to know what happened to that money. It wasn't a small amount, as far as I knew. She'd told me that it was around $100,000, which is a really big number, so it was alarming that she'd ended up spending it all. When I asked her what had happened to that money, she admitted that she'd used it for her shopping addiction.

I didn't buy that for several reasons. My wife lived frugally before she met me if I'm going by what she says, and even after we started dating, she was really careful with her money. And people don't just develop an addiction overnight and spend that kind of money in a day. Besides, there should have been something to show for it if she did indeed have a shopping addiction which there wasn't. No new clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, or even appliances, and neither could she produce any receipts to prove where she'd spent the money.

So I knew that she'd been lying about what had happened to the money. There was no way she'd spent it on shopping but was trying to convince me of it for some reason. I did try to talk to her about this, but she got very upset that I didn't trust her and was questioning her honesty so we ended up getting into a really bad argument. She just wouldn't admit that she'd been lying and I didn't understand why. There was something really fishy about this situation and I needed to know where she'd spent that sort of money because I suspected something really suspicious was going on. My stepdaughter was also really angry since this had been her college fund that her mother had drained. They'd also been fighting after my wife told her about it and she refused to talk to her after that.

So if I wanted to fix things with my family, then I'd have to get to the bottom of this somehow. I decided to take things into my own hands and find out where the money had gone because by then, I knew my wife wasn't going to tell me the truth at any cost. I guess that should have been my cue to leave but I loved her and wanted to believe the best of her, like people usually do when it comes to the people they love. Anyway, one day, while my wife was asleep and my stepdaughter was out with her friends, I decided to steal and enter the details of my wife's bank account on the website to check her statement. She had two cards and I checked both of them.

Just as I'd suspected, there was nothing that had been spent at shopping malls or on online shopping, but most of the transactions were with several different restaurants. My wife definitely does not have an eating disorder, so spending 100K on restaurants was just absurd. When I looked up these restaurants on the internet, nothing suspicious came up either so I was even more confused than before. So I decided to go even further and logged into my wife. I knew my wife's email, hoping to find something there. I knew my wife's email address and password were saved on my laptop since that's what she used most of the time. Her own laptop was really

old and slow so she'd switched to using mine instead whenever she needed to but mostly got her work done on her phone itself. She wouldn't even buy a laptop for herself so how was I to just believe that she'd blown around 100K on shopping? When I started going through her emails, they were mostly either from work or promotional offers and I was about to give up when all of a sudden, I noticed that she'd been receiving several emails from some Joker as well. It sounded like a code name of sorts and when I opened the email to read it, I was shocked because it said that the restaurants had received the money and soon enough, she'd have it back. Then another email, with the same sort of message.

I didn't understand what exactly was happening but I knew it couldn't be anything good. My first thought was obviously money laundering but this was my wife's own money, that she'd saved up for years so why would she even need to resort to something like this? And on top of that, there weren't just one or two restaurants that she was dealing with but at least seven. I was very confused and that's when I noticed another new email, which was just bad timing for her, and this one happened to be from my stepdaughter. The email only said that he was not there when she went to check and she'd mentioned one of the restaurants that my wife, had been dealing with. So that was another huge shock because apparently, my stepdaughter was in on whatever my wife was up to. I couldn't believe any of this and so, I shut the laptop as fast as I could and made a run for it. It was a pretty stupid decision, but I didn't know what else to do. I grabbed

some important stuff that I'd need, got into my car, and drove to a friend's house. Didn't bother to explain and got in touch with my lawyer as soon as I could. I'd taken screenshots of everything and had taken pictures of my wife's car details as well, just to be on the safe side. I didn't know what exactly was going on, but I didn't want to end up on the wrong side of the law. I still can't bring myself to stomach the fact that my wife had not only been lying to me through her teeth about where the money had gone, but also that my stepdaughter had been in on it, and they were just putting up an act so that I'd feel bad for her and give them the money. I was absolutely lost and didn't know what to do and didn't even know where to start.

My wife would obviously notice that I was gone and I didn't want to speak to her, so I turned off my phone and decided to take a walk in my friend's neighborhood to clear my mind. When got back and checked my phone, there were several texts from my wife and a few missed calls asking me where I was but I didn't respond to any of them. I spoke to my lawyer that day and told him that I wanted to file for divorce. I know it sounds hasty but I absolutely couldn't afford to find myself in any legal trouble. Thankfully, I'd managed to keep our finances separate so far and I was hoping that the divorce would end soon. It would come as a shock to my wife but whatever she was up to was an even bigger shock to me so I think she can deal with it. She was served yesterday and while she had been texting me on and off for these past few days, she wasn't trying too hard to find out where I was and didn't sound too worried in her texts which meant that my suspicions were correct.

She was up to something shady which is why she didn't even care about her family. But after she was served, she started calling me nonstop to get a response out of me and I merely texted back, saying that I knew. She's smart enough and responded saying that she just needed a chance to explain everything but I don't think she deserves that chance. Not anymore. She had the chance to tell me but she chose to hide it and this doesn't seem like a small lie but a huge one. One that even my stepdaughter was in on and they were definitely trying to fool me and I can't just put that out of my mind. So what if I refuse to speak to my wife now? Update 1. I didn't speak to her like I'd said, and blocked her everywhere.

I don't want to know what she has to say about any of this. The bottom line is that she and her daughter had been lying to me and I know they'd been lying to me about something really big. $100,000 is a huge amount and now that I think of it, I never did find out how she managed to save that sort of money while still providing for herself and her daughter. I'm 99% sure now that she must have even obtained that money by some shady means. She used to be a high school teacher and as far as I know, they really don't make that much

and there's no way she managed to save $100,000 all by herself. Initially, I'd thought that she must have inherited some money but then later on I found out that her parents had passed away when she was really going and she'd been raised by her aunt who left her with a little over $20,000. I regret not thinking about all of these things earlier and taking our finances so lightly. I was so engrossed in our romance that I ended up ignoring something so fishy and now, I don't know what to do. I don't even know exactly what's up and even though I want to find out, I don't want to speak to her.

My friend has been kind enough to let me stay with him, no questions asked and has even told me that I don't need to pay rent for now but it'll be great if I split the grocery and electricity bills for the duration of my stay. Right now, I don't know when or even if I can go back to our house. I don't regret leaving since that was a rented house anyway. I don't know how my wife will manage to pay rent and all the other bills on her own, but that's the least of my concerns right now. My lawyer has told me that she has a month to respond to the divorce petition, but if she doesn't respond within that time, then we'll be free to do as we please and the divorce will be finalized on our terms. So I'm hoping that she doesn't.

respond. I know it's pointless, but I'm so anxious right now that I can't help but pray that I never have to see my wife or even interact with her ever again. It's not that I suddenly don't love her anymore, but I just can't bring myself to trust her. Being shady with money is a huge, huge red flag for me and I cannot forgive that and move past it like nothing's wrong. Update 2. Okay, so it's been six days since my wife was served and since I blocked her everywhere, decided to send me an email from a new account that she'd created. I didn't want to read it because I didn't want to hear anything that I wouldn't like, but curiosity got the better of me and I decided to read it anyway.

I'm in shock right now and I don't even know how to react to this. I'm still trying to process whatever she said, but I'm having a hard time since it's messed up, to say the least. I can't believe I married this woman without knowing the first thing about her. All through these years, none of this ever seemed to come up, and neither did I bother to dig into her past. I just believed whatever she told me and now, I'm in this mess. It sucks that this is happening and I know it sounds like I'm rambling,

but I just don't know how to deal with my emotions right now. I'm all over the place and this close to tears, very honestly. I want to talk to someone about all of this, but the only person I want to talk to, my wife, is the root of all my troubles coming to the email, my wife essentially just confirmed what I'd already feared. The money that she'd saved was whatever she'd earn from selling drugs at the very high school that she used to teach at and the one her daughter currently attends.

Yeah, it's horrifying. Not just students but even their parents would sometimes approach her since it was a private high school and only the elite were allowed to attend. She also sold a lot of her aunt's jewelry, which is how she got the rest of the money. She quit her teaching job after she met me and switched to work in. as an accountant at a company, but she'd always been worried about how she'd obtained the money so a few months back, she got back in touch with a friend of hers back from when she used to sell drugs. I'm guessing you guys can figure out what happened next. The guy helped her get in touch with

several restaurants which were just fronts for money laundering but then, he disappeared and she ended up losing her entire savings and is now almost broke. She's still earning but that's barely enough to get by for her which is why she approached me for help. Her daughter had known about her side hustle and had even helped her in handovers sometimes. Since the age of 13 which was just sickening, and was even trying to help her find her friend who disappeared. She told me that this was her only option if she wanted to get by as a single mom so she did what she had to but she wanted a fresh start after she married me, which is why she got in touch with her friend in the first place. She claimed that she was going to come

clean to me after a while anyway but was too scared of how I'd react. She didn't want to lose me and had written several paragraphs about how sorry she was and that she never wanted to do anything shady ever but her circumstances had forced her. She apologized to me and asked me to come back to her just so that she could have a second chance at making this marriage work. I don't know how she even expects me to go back to her after what she's confessed to. My wife is a literal criminal and she expects me to just go back to her and pretend that nothing. is wrong. I don't know what she thought was going to happen, honestly. Did she really think that she'd come clean to me, I'd take pity on her and we'd go back to being a happily married couple once

more. Is she that freaking delusional? She's lucky I haven't turned her in yet. And yeah, I'm saying yet because I certainly do have plans to do so. What she'd done was messed up and sickening. I grew up dirt poor and if I'd wanted to, then I could have taken the easy way out and started selling drugs to earn some extra cash. But I didn't. I did what was honest and chose to do the right thing because I didn't want to end up on the wrong side of the law. Besides, selling drugs to teenagers especially when you have a daughter who's around the same age is just so disgustingly evil. I don't know what possessed her to do something like that. You guys can call me what you want, but I don't think anything justifies what she'd done. And she lied to me for five whole years.

No matter what, I can't just forget that. Even if I do find it in my heart to forgive her for whatever illegal crap she'd been doing before she met me, I can't forgive her for lying to me for so long. I'd tried to be the best husband and had even accepted her daughter as my own, but if this is what I get in return for everything that I've done for them, then maybe they don't deserve me or my forgiveness at all. I haven't yet sent any of this to my lawyer yet, but I'm going to do that once I've managed to compose myself. Right now, I feel like my head is going to explode because of what I've just learned.

My wife was a freaking drug dealer for several years before she met me. She lied to me for years and now, she wants me to forgive her. I know I keep repeating myself but this is just so I somehow make sense of this. It still feels oddly unreal. But unfortunately, it really isn't. Update 3. My wife showed up at my friend's place to me. to meet me. Apparently, she'd been going to all of my friend's houses to look for me and had

finally landed here. I didn't want to talk to her, like I'd said, and tried to force her to go away but she didn't leave and stayed at the door, refusing to go away without talking to me first. I would have called the cops but this was my friend's house and I didn't want to cause trouble for him. So I agreed to speak to her, but I was determined that I wouldn't let anything that she said change my mind or get soft. My friend even left the house. My friend even left the house to give us some privacy and once he was gone, my wife started talking. She apologized once more but then she started telling me that I needed to help her out and I couldn't just abandon her. She brought up our marriage vows and said that now when she needed me the most,

I couldn't just abandon her and leave. She was struggling to pay the bills on her own and at this rate, it seemed unlikely that she'd even be able to pay for her daughter's college tuition. She said that she needed me now, not just for the money but also because she missed me. I'll admit, I did feel like forgiving her and just letting it all go, but then I remembered her email and everything that she confessed to doing. I couldn't forgive that. I just couldn't. I told her that I wasn't going to come back or stop the divorce and it would be in her best interest to not contest this divorce either. She didn't have the right to ask anything of me anymore, not after what she'd done.

I couldn't hold it in any more and just chewed her out. I'd held back and hadn't said a word to her, but I couldn't keep my feelings to myself anymore. I told her how betrayed I felt and that she'd ruined our marriage forever, there was no turning back anymore. She could have been honest with me right from the beginning and avoided all of this, but she'd chosen to lie and that was something that I was never going to forgive. I'd treated her daughter like my own and crossed oceans for them, but all they'd done was lie to me, betray me, and you'd be able to me, and I'd treated me, and I'd treated me, and I'd treated me, and I'd treated her daughter like my own. and tried to use me for money. She wanted to argue with me, but I didn't let her interrupt me and continue to rant until I ran out of breath. I could feel the tears coming in but I wasn't about to let myself cry. Not in front of her, at least. My wife looked devastated and I guess

on some level she actually does love me but none of it matters anymore. I can't be with someone who isn't transparent with me. She left after a while, still begging me to rethink my decision because we could still make this work. She even said that I didn't need to give her any money but just wanted me to come back to her and be there for her. I just said goodbye and slammed the door shut. And then, I had a good crying session because I don't think I've ever had to do anything more difficult

in my entire life. This was incredibly tough but knew that I had to do it. I know I'm going to miss her and my stepdaughter, but I can't do anything to change the past. She is what she is and I am. who I am. When my friend came back, I finally found the courage to tell him everything. He'd been letting me live with him for so long so the least I could do was tell him the truth. He was very shocked because most of my friends believed that my wife was a shy, sweet, and introverted woman.

As I did for the longest time, but unfortunately, I was mistaken. Update 4. It's been three week since I filed for divorce and a few days back, my wife finally responded to the petition. She's not contesting the divorce and I'm guessing it's because she can't afford to spend that sort of money on a good lawyer and after what she's told me, I don't think it'd be a good idea for her to go up against me either. I'm relieved that she took my advice because I would hate to get into some long-drawn legal battle with her. I just want to move on from this and pretend it never happened. I want to forget about her and erase any and all traces of her from my life and heart. I haven't reported her to the police, but I did tell my lawyer about the

email where she'd basically just confess to being a drug dealer who sold drugs in a school, no less, and even used her daughter for it occasionally. It was a pretty big deal and a criminal offense, but I didn't know what to do. It had been in the past, so I don't even know if the cops would do anything about it now. I knew that if I reported her, I'd end up ruining her daughter's life as well, so I'm kind of conflicted right now, but I guess I'll figure out what to do. My lawyer thinks I should report her, just to stay clear on my part and I believe that's what I will do eventually. I just need some time to deal with my emotions. It's been a tough couple of weeks and I don't know how I'll recover from this, but I'll have to bounce back somehow. And I know, with God's

grace, I'll manage to get back on track soon enough. Just as soon as this divorce is done with. Keep me in your prayers, you guys. That's the end of the first story. Let's begin the second one. I hope you enjoy this story. I discovered my spouse's indiscretion when law enforcement contacted me regarding her companion. I am feeling lost and uncertain about my next steps in this situation. The right sub were even if I should be posting this but I don't have a clear mind right now and I'm here to ask for some direction. I've been married to my wife for 12 years, we have an amazing 11 years slash oh son, until last night I thought we had a good marriage, I thought I was always really good to her, we have no money problems, no intimacy problems, and I have never taken her for granted, I honestly wake up every morning and thank God she is my wife, now I don't know what to think.

I got a call from my local PD as I was getting off work yesterday, they asked if I could come to the police station as soon as possible, I panicked, I asked if something had happened to my wife or son but they said not to worry just get to the station ASAP. When I got there they put me in a room with a table and some chairs, they asked me my name which I gave, then they started asking all these questions about a guy my wife works with, I haven't seen or spoken to this guy literally since December 2019 at my wife's company Christmas party, the two officers kept asking me things like how long have you known and how did you find out, the only answer I could give was what are you talking about? After about an hour of this I just stopped answering their questions and kept

asking where my son and wife were and were they safe, we just kept going around and around until after about two hours on and off because they would periodically leave the room for 15 to 20 minutes then come back and started all over again like some cheap cop show. The last time they came in the cop handed me a tablet and showed me a video of my wife and the guy from her work having sex, I don't remember much right after that, I just remember screaming what the F is this over and over again, I had a full-blown panic attack right there in the middle of the police. Station The police had a paramedic check me out and he said my blood pressure was something like

170 to 110, he wanted me to go to the hospital but I refused and said I needed to find my wife and my son, after I calmed down the officers explained that the guy in the video had been having an affair with my wife, and apparently several other women, he had had been found that morning in his driveway beaten, raped, and set on fire, he was still alive but in critical condition and they didn't know if he would. Make it, his wife had given them permission to go through his phone and computer and that's where they found the video of my wife. They asked me where I was that morning and I told them the gym, then work about 10 minutes from my gym, at that point they said I could go, but that I might not want to stay at my house

because they didn't know if his affair with my wife could be why he was attacked. They also said my wife wasn't the only person he was having an affair with. That's when I rushed. Home, my son was staying with our neighbors, so I got him and went home. We packed some clothes, and his laptop for school. I grabbed my gun and we headed to my parents' house 45 minutes away. I still haven't heard from my wife. Her phone is going straight to voicemail. I've called the officer who gave me his card and he said she is at the hospital with the guy she's been cheating with. I am sitting here in bed with my son on one side of me and my point three eight on the other. My dad is sleeping in his chair in the living room with a shotgun across his lap, and I've not

slept in over 30 hours. I don't even know where to start. Anything would be helpful right now, any advice or ideas, I am in a fog. Edit, just got off the phone with my in-laws. Apparently my wife just checked herself into the psych ward update. I'm completely lost because I just found out that my wife, 36F, of 12.4. years has been having an affair from the police who called me in for questioning involving the assault of her lover. I attempted to post this on Saturday 1219 but it didn't go through,

and I got blocked from reposting because I asked a yes-slash-no-question anyway here it is again, I am working a bit so I may. Not be able to reply that much right now, my original post was removed but a lot of people messaged me and asked for an update. I thought I would fill everyone in on what has happened this week, because the replies I got helped me so much, I really feel like I owe this community a big thank you for helping me get my head on straight, and pointed me in the right direction to get everything done as fast as possible. For those people who said my post was fake, my only reply is I wish, from the bottom of my heart it was, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction,

for those who said they couldn't find a news story, apparently due to the nature of the attack a lot of information was withheld. Even our local news outlets only reported it as an assault and it was nothing more than a blurb on our nightly news, for those who implied or directly stated the police wouldn't do that you are 100% wrong. Because they did, I found out from my lawyer that police can literally do or say anything. They want, especially if you aren't under arrest, short of direct threats of harm, that includes lying directly to your face, which they did, it turns out my wife wasn't at the hospital with her lover when I contacted the detective. She had been admitted to that hospital's psychiatric

facility much earlier in the day, while he was still in search. I don't know why they would lie about that, but they did. Needless to say this situation has caused me to become very suspicious of law enforcement. After I woke up that afternoon I contacted my uncle's law partner who is a family friend, he actually came to my parents' house and sat down with me to go over my options. His entire law firm is now representing me, both in the divorce and criminal defense. That day, Sunday, he got me an emergency custody order and a protective order against my wife from me, my son, and my parents. Our court date is in 60 days, the police served her on Monday as she was leaving the psych hospital, according to. Her brother, who is a close personal

friend of mine, she did not take it well, she is staying with her parents for the time being, I still haven't talked to her, and she hasn't made any attempt to speak to me either, whether that's due to shame, indifference, or the order of protection I don't know, but I'm glad of it all the same. My wife is not the person I thought she was. and I'm ashamed of myself for not see it sooner. I had to tell my son something, so I decided to tell him the truth, age. Appropriate, and literally the first words out of his mouth was, please don't let Mommy take me away, I asked him why he would say that, and from what he tells me, my wife has been treating him very badly when I wasn't around, and told him, if he told me,

she would take him away and my son would never see me again, she has been emotionally torturing our son, and I was too blind to see it. That red, me more than the video to be honest, I told the lawyer about what my son said, and he used my son's statement and her mental state and commitment to get the emergency custody. I have contacted his school for therapy resources, and he will start therapy after the first of the year. I feel like the worst father to ever walk the face of the earth at this point. As for our families, her parents contacted me Tuesday and asked to come see us. I was still at my parents at the time, and I told them they could come. But she was not allowed anywhere near us.

They agreed, they were so apologetic. And her poor mother didn't stop crying the entire time she was with us. Her father was heartbroken and kept referring to my wife as that girl. They both said they felt like something was going on with her, and they did not raise her to be this way. We hugged and cried before they left, and I told them they will always be a part of our lives no matter what happens with the divorce, after what my son told me.

Their visit was the hardest part of our whole ordeal. My lawyers have been doing amazing. Work so far, they found out that the man my wife was sleeping with has a long criminal record. One of the lawyers informed me that when they went to print out the guy's arrest record the printer ran for five minutes straight, from what they could learn he is currently on parole for substance offenses, and has had gang affiliations in the past. He is still alive but in critical condition, and still may not make it. The firm has an investigator who contacted the coworker who drove my wife to the hospital,

the co-worker informed them that my wife's affair was an open secret around the office. My lawyers think that's how the police figured out who I was, and who my wife was in the video. There are several photos of last year's Christmas party at her work, and my wife and I are in several of them. That's where I currently am in this whole situation. I am just numb, still lost, and heartbroken. How long does the numbness last? And is there any way to get past this emotional lethargy faster? I mean really numb, like a dream, everything.

I've just said has felt like it's happening to someone else, update, I'm completely lost because I just found out that my 42 meters, wife, 36F, of 12 years has been having an affair from the police who called me in for questioning involving the assault of her lover. I will start off again by saying thank you to everyone who replied to both my original post and my update. This sub really did help me so much. If I didn't respond to you directly, I'm sorry, but I got so many messages I can't keep up with them all. First, my son is doing so much. I'm much better, he started therapy the first week of Jan, and the difference is already noticeable. I asked him if he felt comfortable with me talking to his therapist and he said yes, so I've had a,

few discussions with her. According to the therapist my STBX would verbally and emotionally abuse our son whenever they were alone together, he was not allowed to make. Noise or bother her in any way when he was home, she would leave him alone for hours on end, and even overnight if I was out of town, she would then threaten him with being taken away and never see me again if he told me or anyone else, the therapist said this has made him feel powerless and dependent in a time in his development that she should actually be feeling empowered and self-reliant. So to that end I have bought him his own phone, and helped to memorize family members' phone numbers. And as many addresses as are relevant, I've also been teaching him

situational awareness to pay attention to street names and how to read addresses on buildings. We've also role-played how to ask people for help, how he can clearly explain to strangers that he's in trouble, and he doesn't feel safe. I know this may sound silly, but my son can be a bit introverted and shy when he doesn't feel comfortable. Even though we've only been doing this for a few weeks, I can see that it's really building. His confidence, any suggestions on how to continue to build his self-reliance would be really helpful. His safety and well-being is still my number one concern right now. As for myself, I'm doing as good as can be expected. I started therapy around the same time as my son, and although I don't speak to my therapist as my son, as I'm not. I don't speak to my

therapist as much as he does it has helped to be able to talk through my thoughts and feelings about everything that has happened to us in our family. The numbness is gone but it was replaced by a white hot ball of anger in the pit of my stomach whenever I think of my STBX and what she's put our family through. Funny enough, although I hate feeling angry, it's a lot easier to deal with than the numbness. My therapist says this is part of the grieving process and it's not how we feel but how we channel those emotions that matter. My legal situation. Well, I'll be honest is the scariest thing I've ever dealt with in my life, I was awarded. Temporary full custody and child support, which I didn't want but my lawyer pretty much demanded we ask for, as well as a continuation of the order

of protection for myself and my son, at the request for an order hearing, which neither my wife nor her lawyer showed up to, the judge asked if we would allow supervised visitation, but my son absolutely refused, which was why my lawyer told me to bring him along. The judge asked my son if he would speak to him alone and he agreed, the judge. Stenographer and a child welfare officer went into chambers with my son and met for about ten minutes. After their meeting, the judge granted the temp orders and ordered therapy and psychological evaluation for my son. Luckily the therapist he is seeing is somehow involved with or accredited to work with the court so he doesn't have to see another therapist. My lawyer said this is a good thing because it means his therapist can give a recommendation for custody but it still scares the hell out.

of me that she could get some form of custody after what she put him through. As for the AP, I don't know much from what my lawyers have gathered he's alive but still in the hospital. I haven't heard from the police since my initial interview so nothing new to report there. As for my STBX, I still hadn't seen her since the day I was questioned until Thursday. She has attempted to call me a few times but I haven't answered and when she called from another number I hung up immediately. I have nothing to say to her and I don't want to hear anything she has to say to me. Her lawyer requested a preliminary hearing for our court-appointed mediation. She was served the second week of January.

She was there with her lawyer and I know this will sound petty, but even with the mask she looked bad, my STBX was always an attractive and athletic woman. I swear in our wedding photos she looks like a supermodel but now, well, she's lost so much weight it's disturbing, she looks sick and frail, she didn't even look at me, she just sat with her face down through most of the meeting. Long story short, everything they asked for was ridiculous. They wanted visitation during the divorce proceedings and shared custody after. They want us to drop the ops.

She wants to cohabitate until the divorce is finalized. I'm not joking. After all this she wants to live in the same house. It was so insulting that my head throbbed through the whole meeting, but it was all worth it for the big. Reveal we gave to her lawyer. Her lawyer asked how we should handle discovery for the division of assets, to which my lawyer got this shocked look on his face and said, what division of assets. Read the pre-nup, the look on her lawyer's face was priceless.

She hadn't told her lawyer about the pre-nup, my late uncle, who was the founding partner of the law firm I use, wrote that pre-nup and actually hired her a lawyer to look over it for her before we married. According to my lawyer, it's a thing of beauty because we never mixed finances, per my uncle's instructions. The house we live and was a gift to me from my uncle before we married, all the utilities and insurances are in my name, all. The vehicles are registered in the owner's name only, and we never had to sign for any debt for each other.

We have one shared savings account that is used for household maintenance and an emergency fund. It is around $8,000 in it, which she has already drained. There is less than $300 in it now. The pre-nup states that all marital assets and debt are to be divided 50 to 50 in ownership of all intangible assets and personal debt reverts back to the individual who accrued it, the adultery clause. simply states that we agreed that if either party is caught or admits to committing adultery they lose the right to claim any form of spousal support, there's a lot more to it than this, but my lawyer assures me that trying to break this pre-up will be damn near impossible, because it is the most fair pre-up he's ever read, but the last thing her lawyer asked for

was what has really messed with me. He asked that we postponed the official mediation for six months while my STBX attends an inpatient. Rehabilitation facility for substance abuse, some people in both my last post stated that she might have a substance abuse issue, but I didn't even think about it, because I couldn't even fathom that, I talked to my lawyer and he said that we would discuss it and get back with them about our decision on that, before we left my STBX spoke, literally for the first time and asked me to read a letter she had written me. My lawyer gave me that this could be a snake, so be careful look. And I debated with myself for a moment. but decided to take it. When I got home I read it, and now I wish I hadn't, it started off with

all those busted cheater platitudes that everyone warned me about, I love you, I love our family, I know I'm a street son, and I hate myself for it, I want us again, but she did explain that after a major surgery she had about two years ago, she started abusing her medication. After a while she started buying them from some of the people she worked with. including AP, he became her go-to guy, and when she ran out of money she started sleeping with him to make up the difference, she said she hid this for me because she was afraid I would make her stop, and she couldn't feel right without them anymore, that he meant nothing to her but a fix, and she hates herself for doing what she's done both to herself and to us now. She says she understands how awful what she's done is and wants to get better for our family, and asks me to at least give her. Some time to prove she wants this, and And let me state, for the record, I will never get back with my wife, our marriage was over the moment she cheated on me, and abused, our son, but damn, where the F was I while all this was going on, I just feel like the most naive, obtuse idiot to ever walk the earth, and furthermore,

how should I approach this from here? Am I just throwing her away, or am I still justified in feeling betrayed? I feel like such a failure as a husband and a father right now, I Mean I feel nothing for her but anger and resentment, but is this how you treat someone fighting the demons she's fighting? More info, I know that she doesn't get the benefit of the doubt anymore, and I can't risk my son's well-being for her anymore. She has to do this on her own. After reading the comments here, I'm wondering if she didn't send me that letter to set herself up, so she would have an excuse to keep going down the spiral, so to speak. I was told that not showing compassion is not the same thing as being vindictive. I need to internalize that for myself. I need to internalize that for myself. letting her fall isn't the same thing as kicking her when she's down, she has put me in an impossible situation to help her because I cannot risk my son feeling betrayed by me, I am still going through with the divorce, but I may contact her treatment facility to see if I might be able to support her from a distance, I want to support her as a fellow human being, and for the love, we really did share at one point in time, but my son is my number one priority right now,

Also, my lawyer was ready to pop the champagne when I read him her note. He said it's a clear-cut admission of untreated addiction which pretty much guarantees me full custody.