Reddit Stories - Spouse informed his RELATIVES about my ADOLESCENT online HARASSMENT ordeal without consent. Later,

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #privacy #betrayal #onlineharassmentSummary: Spouse informed his relatives about my adolescent online harassment ordeal without consent. Later, consequences unfolded leading to trust issues and strained relationships.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, privacy, betrayal, onlineharassment, trustissues, strainedrelationships, marriage, communication, consent, secrets, personalinformation, socialmedia, digitalprivacy, conflictresolutionBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse informed his relatives about my adolescent online harassment ordeal without consent. Later, his sibling admitted she was the individual who directed threatening messages toward me when we were 14. Now his whole family wants me to forgive her. We got married one month ago, a small ceremony at the courthouse in the morning and a meal after with my parents, his parents, his sister, one cousin, two friends each. We moved into the apartment I had before with the lease in my name since January, and he moved his stuff in through the week after. We split rent and utilities, we both work full-time, on 24, he's 26, we've been together three years and nine months and got engaged last December.

He has a record with secrets, not cheating or anything like that, but he repeats information that isn't his to share. Examples from the last year include, he told his co-worker that another co-worker put in notice before the person told the team, he told my friend's boyfriend about her early pregnancy before she hit 12 weeks when she asked that it not be shared, and he told his dad the number from my raise when I only told him. I've said don't share this in direct words after those incidents, and he said he understood and that he talks when he gets excited or when he wants a reaction, saying it does not mean on purpose, but I told him it still causes problems. Two weeks ago we hosted a dinner for his side to mark that we were married with guests

including his mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and his aunt who flew in on Friday, plus his cousin who lives 20 minutes away. My parents were out of town, and the plan was pasta, salad, bread, and a cake my friend sent. I bought groceries on Friday night, he cleaned on Saturday morning, and I put my phone on the counter to play music. They arrived between 6 and 6.30 with his mom bringing a bottle of wine and a pie, his dad bringing beer, and his sister bringing a salad. They hugged and said congratulations with normal talk for the first hour about football, flights, and his aunt's hotel while the TV was off and music was playing. Around 7.30 we were at the table with wine and beer open. He had two beers before dinner

and a glass of wine while we ate. His mom had two glasses, the rest had one each, and I had clubbed soda since I don't drink alcohol after 2020 because of panic attack. that started that year, which is known in both families. After we eight they started trading stories about school, his aunt said someone put gum in her hair in seventh grade, his mom said someone wrote on her locker, his cousin said someone posted about his braces on Facebook, then his mom said, I bet mine was worse than anyone's here

and said she got prank calls for a month after she broke up with a boy, asking if anyone else had real harassment. My husband said my wife had the worst quickly, I said don't. He snapped his fingers like he remembered and said, Right, you don't like to talk about it, then kept going, saying, but it's part of who you are and you're strong now before telling them I got messages on MySpace for three months when I was 14. He said the account sent threats to show up at my bus stop, posted about my body and said things about photos, that a photo of me at a pool got edited with words on it and sent to classmates,

that the school called my parents because the account sent a message to a boy pretending to be me, that the police came to our house to look at my laptop, and added that I switched to a different bus route for a while. I didn't give him permission to share that since I have only told him and one friend, though my parents know because they lived it with me. I have not told his family despite seeing his sister at holidays since 2021 where she and I have shared a couch and talked about pets and jobs. His mom clapped her hands once and said, See, I told you I had it rough too, but our girl here wins, pointing at me and telling her sister you owe me 20. Then saying she and her sister had a bed over dinner about who had worse bullying stories in the room.

My husband said, I think my wife's takes it and laughed while his mom laughed and the table laughed, but I did not. I took my plate to the sink with my hands shaking, kept the water running and faced the counter when his sister walked to the kitchen saying she needed water. She stood next to me and said I need to say something, I said not right now. now, she said I have to, put her cup down and said she was the MySpace person. She said she made the account when she was 14, too, used a fake name and a photo from a singer, and sent those messages to me because the boy she liked like me instead, naming the same boy. She said her friend showed her my profile, she created the account on a library computer and used it at home too, kept it going for three months and then forgot the password, didn't know the police

came to our house, and never thought I would marry her brother later. I walked out of the kitchen and went to the bathroom and closed the door, washed my face while I was shaking and breathing fast, then after some minutes walked back to find my husband sitting on the couch with elbows on knees, his dad standing near the sink, his mom with her hand on her chest saying we're all family, and his sister holding the cup of water saying I'm sorry. My husband said she just told us too, his mom said it was a decade ago and ten years is a long time, his sister's Mr. repeated I'm sorry, and I said I wanted everyone to leave, not yelling, but saying I wanted people out of my home and I would talk another day. His mom said, come on, be reasonable, I said

leave, walked to the door and opened it. His dad nodded and told the others to get their things. His aunt said we didn't know, his cousin said nothing, and they left by 8.30. My husband stayed and said he didn't know his sister did it until she said it in our kitchen, that he thought it was safe to share because it was old and because he wanted to show I had been through things and was strong. I said he had my no on sharing. He tried to explain his mom's bet. I told him I didn't care about the bet and told him I would not have those people in my home for a while. He asked how long, I said I didn't know, he said his sister texted him a longer apology and asked if he could read it to me, I said no and that I didn't want to hear from her. I said I would think

about next steps, told him I needed space, he slept on the couch while I shut the bedroom door and did not sleep much. Sunday morning his mom texted a group chat with him, me, his dad, his sister, the aunt, the cousin at 8, 11 a.m. writing, we all said some things last night, we all love each other, let's have brunch and talk. I did not reply, and at 822 his sister wrote, I'm sorry again, I can write more, I was 14, it was stupid, then at 8.30 his mom wrote, forgiveness is freeing. I left the group chat, blocked his sister's number, blocked his mom's number, and told my husband I needed no contact for now, which he said was okay and that he would handle them. Around noon his mom and his sister came to the building anyway, buzzed at the front

door, I rejected the call, they called again, I rejected, they called my husband who answered and told them to go. They said they were in the car and wanted to drop food, we said no, but they left a bag with the pie in the lobby anyway with a note that said we love you both, which I left with the front desk. Monday at work I got a DM on Instagram from a new account with no posts that said you're being a drama queen with the handle having a number and a fake name, and the message saying stop punishing a family for a teenage mistake. I reported it and told my husband, who said he would ask his family if anyone made that.

Then five minutes later his sister texted him saying she did not make it while his mom texted him saying she didn't know what Instagram even was. He screenshot those and sent them to me, said he would post a note in the family chat telling them to stop contacting me, and did so at 1237 p.m. writing, do not contact, my name, give her space, do not show up. His dad replied with a thumbs up, his aunt wrote understood, his mom wrote space but not silence his best, and his sister didn't reply, saw through husband's phone. Tuesday his mom called my work desk line at 10.50 a.m. The reception is transferred the call. I answered. She said, I want to hear you say you accept my daughter's apology. I said I'm at work. She talked over me. I hung up. I told my boss and asked to

have my desk calls filtered. Send an email to the front desk with the numbers to block. Texted my husband that his mom called me at work and I didn't want that ever again. He replied I'll handle it. I asked him to put it in writing to them. So he texted his mom do not call, my name, at work, and she read it and didn't reply. Wednesday night his sister put an apology on Facebook that tagged me by first name only, writing I heard someone when I was a teen, I've apologized, I hope we can move forward with comments turned off. A mutual from his family texted me a screenshot since I'm not friends with her on Facebook, so I only saw the screenshot and didn't respond. Thursday my husband said he wanted

to drive to his parents to pick up some tools he left at their garage and talked to them about boundaries, left at 6 p.m., got back at 10.30, and said the conversation took a long time with his mom crying and his dad telling him I was controlling him. He said he told them no contact meant no contact, that he would not bring me over, and that he put his foot down, then said he wanted to read me his sister's apology from Saturday night because it had details I might want, but I said no and that I want space. Friday my mom got back in town and came over, I told her what happened, she asked if I wanted to file a report for harassment if they kept showing up or calling work since we have the texts and the lobby deliveries and the call log and said

to document everything. I made a folder in my email and saved screenshots and time stamps, took a photo of the note with the pie, wrote a list with dates and times, and wrote the words people use so there is a record. Saturday we had plans with friends and canceled. I stayed home while my husband went to the gym and then to his friend's place, texting he would be back by but getting back at 840. He said his mom had called him six times while he was out which he didn't answer, showed me the missed calls, said he was on my side and would not force me to accept any apology, and said he would go no contact for now too if I wanted.

I said he can decide his own contact level, but I wanted none with them in my home or phone or work. Sunday morning I got a text from a number I didn't have saved that said this is, sister's name, please which I blocked, then ten minutes later a text from a different number said, please hear me which I blocked, then an email to my inbox from an address with her name said I made a Google Doc with a long apology if you ever want I archived. Monday we had a couple's appointment with a counselor I found through my work EAP for our first session with intake stuff and basic history where we both talked. He said he struggles with

impulsive disclosure, the counselor asked him to make a list of things that are mine to tell, he wrote health, money, work, past, family, she asked him to say what no contact means. He said no calls, no texts, no messages, no shows, no posts, and she asked him to send a written boundary statement to his family by email so there is a record. He sent it that night saying effective now I will not discuss my wife's past, do not contact her in any way, do not post about her, do not show up, violations will result in block numbers and police call if needed and c-seat me. I'm writing this because I cut contact with his family after what happened, they are calling me a drama queen through that Instagram DM and threw a text from a cousin of his that came from an

unknown number saying you're being a drama queen, which my husband read and texted the cousin to stop. I want a record and I also want to say this is the line I'm holding. I will not speak to the person who ran the MySpace account or to the people who think I need to forgive on their timeline. I am not asking them for anything, not gifts or money or a ride or a place to stay, not using them for child care, not attending their events, not inviting them to mine, I am asking for quiet. I know there is a debate about old harm and apologies, but this is not that for me at this time since this is about consent to share my history, which he did not have. I told him not to share and he did anyway, then the person who caused the messages turned out to be in his family and

she confessed at my sink, and now they want me to forgive within hours and days and they want brunch and hugs and a picture, which I am not doing. Edit, if you need ages and dates and names for context, here they are, I was 14 from October 2015 to October 2016 with the messages coming November through January for three months. I have a folder in an old email with some of them because my parents asked me to send screenshots to the counselor we saw then. The account names were summer lightsks and later sunset Jenny when the first one got locked, and the messages included I know where you wait for the bus with a list of times that matched my schedule, your dad's car is ugly with a photo of our driveway taken from the sidewalk.

Hi, I'm Darren Marler. Host of the Weird Darkness podcast. I want to talk about the most important tool in my podcast belt. Spreaker is the all-in-one platform that makes it easy to record, host, and distribute your show everywhere, from Apple Podcasts to Spotify. But the real game changer for me was Spreeker's monetization. Spreaker offers dynamic ad insertion. That means you can automatically insert ads into your episodes.

No editing required. And with Spreeker's programmatic ads, they'll bring the ads to you, and you get paid for every download. This turned my podcasting hobby into a full-time career. Spreaker also has a premium subscription model where your most dedicated listeners can pay for bonus content or early access, adding another revenue stream to what you're already doing. And the best part, Spreaker grows with you. Whether you're just starting out or running a full-blown podcast network, Sprinker's powerful tools scale effortlessly as your show grows.

So if you're ready to podcast like a pro and get paid while doing it, check out spreeker.com. That's S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R dot com. You will see me Friday with my bus stop number. Stop flirting with. Boy's name. He thinks you are easy. Everyone is laughing at you. And the naked edited pool photo with text over it.

The school counselor sat with me and my parents twice a week for the first month. We met with the school resource officer once with no charges because the account owner wasn't identified, my parents locked down my phone and laptop. I changed my bus stop for two weeks and rode with a neighbor for part of December. The messages stopped in January after winter break. I blocked both accounts. And I changed my MySpace password and deleted the profile later that spring. I know this is old social media. But that is the timeline. The sister says she sent those and knows the bus stop number, named the boy, described my profile photo and naked the pool photo, and admitted using a library computer once a week on Tuesdays because her mom had an exercise class

near there back then and she would wait at the library. I have not argued any of that, I just do not want to speak to her, have not asked for her to be punished, have not asked my husband to stop speaking to her forever, but have asked for distance from her and his mom and anyone who wants to push me to forgive now. I told my husband I will not host his family in our home for the next year at minimum. He said okay and we can revisit later. He can see. see them elsewhere if he chooses, and if they show up here I will call the front desk and if necessary the non-emergency police line, we agreed on that. I set a camera alert for the building entrance on my phone from the app we have, added the license plates of his parents and sister to

the building watch list as allowed by management, and management said they can record entries and call me if they see those plates. I signed the form and he signed two, that is the state of things today. Edit. The next day at 2.40 p.m. his mom and sister came to the work again. The front desk called me and said they were in the lobby with a bag and a card. I told the desk to tell them I am not accepting visitors, and the desk did that. His mom said she wanted to leave the card. The desk asked me if I wanted to accept a drop off. I said no. They left the bag on a chair and left the building while the desk placed the bag behind the counter. I went down at 6 p.m. when I was done with work and took a photo of the bag for my record and told the desk to discard it, the desk wrote a note on my

account that there had been two visits on two dates and that I had declined, and I forwarded this to my husband and to management. My husband texted his mom, you are violating the boundary, do not come to the U.S. again, she read and did not reply. At 7.10 p.m. there was a post on his sister's Instagram story with a black screen and white text that said accountability is not punishment with no one tagged. At 7.12 his cousin texted him she's vague posting, he replied don't, and he turned off his phone for an hour. We ate dinner, after dinner he turned it back on and there were three missed calls from his mom and one missed from his dad. He texted his dad, I'm okay, please tell mom to stop calling, and his dad replied, I don't control

your mother. We sat down and made a document with a timeline and contact log, wrote the dates of the original messages from years ago as I remember them and as saved in the old email, wrote the date of the dinner, the confession, the calls, the lobby visits, the work call, the Facebook post, the Instagram DM, and every text. I put copies in a folder on my desktop and in my Google Drive not because I plan to sue anyone, but because if I ever need it. Edit, two days later his mom tried a different route and texted my mother at 902 a.m. with the message I need your help with your daughter.

She is shutting down family. My mother replied, Do not contact me about my adult daughter's boundaries, took a screenshot and sent it to me, I sent it to my husband, and he texted his mom, do not contact, my mother's name, which she read. At 11.30 a.m. my boss called me into her office because someone had called reception again asking for me by name and said this is a family crisis. Reception said they would block the number, I provided the prior email with numbers to block and added this one, told my boss I was handling it, she said,

document and keep me updated, and I sent myself an email with a time stamp so I would have a record of the meeting. That night my husband went to see his dad at a diner for a one-to-one to see if his dad could calm things down, they met from 6.45 to 8.15, and he came home saying his dad told him to bring me to a Sunday dinner with an apology ceremony. My husband said no and that I was not a prop. His dad said the family can't move forward until there is a scene where everyone hugs, my husband said we're not filming a show, and he told me his dad's current position is that my wife needs to forgive to be a part of this family while my husband told him she is my family, his dad said don't say that in that way, and my husband left. We then got a text from his

aunt that said, I'm sorry for my part in the bet, I egged your mother on, I regret that, I will not contact my name, unless she initiates, I replied, thank you, please do not contact me, she replied understood, and she has not contacted me since. I am writing that here because not everyone is crossing the line. Edit. End of the week now and there is a new development where his sister sent my husband a email with the subject line full account. He read it and told me the gist without details I don't want, and he said she admitted to sending the messages I described and also two other things I didn't know. She said she called my house once and hung up when my dad answered. And she said she left a note in my school locker with a cutout from a magazine and a

phrase. He asked if I want to see the email. I said no. He asked if he should forward it to me for records. I said no. He asked if he should ask her to send it to him only and not me. I said yes. So he replied to her that I did not consent to receive it and to keep all contact directed to him, then created a new email folder for this and moved the message there. The same night his mom made a group message on SMS with him, me, her, his dad, his sister writing we are having dinner Sunday at five, we expect you both. I removed myself and blocked the group. My husband replied to the group separately, we are not coming, stop inviting us, stop creating group threads with, my name, his dad replied, wow, his mom replied, you're isolating, his sister did not

reply, and he then turned on do not disturb on his phone for the weekend. Saturday morning I got a knock on the door, looked through the peephole and saw his mom and his sister, did not open, and spoke through the door saying leave. His mom said, we just want to talk, I said leave, they stayed for two minutes and then I heard steps, looked out and saw them walking to the elevator, called the front desk to report the visit, and the desk wrote it down and said they would talk to building security about flagging the license plate. I called my husband who was at the store, he drove home, he emailed the building manager with the dates and asked for a formal note put on our unit file that these guests are not to be admitted without prior approval, and the manager

replied Monday morning confirming they added a note. Edit, it is the following Tuesday and there has been a sideways move that affects our day-to-day since his mom talked to his grandmother, who is in another state and has my number because she sent a holiday text last year. She called me at 8.15 p.m. and left a voicemail that said families stick together, I did not return the call and blocked her number, his grandmother then posted on her Facebook page a photo from our wedding meal with a caption about keeping people close and tagged my first name, and I received two messages from older relatives I have met once, telling me to call

his mother, which I did not reply to. The same day my husband forgot to remove his mother from a shared calendar event he had used for our move dates back in July, he had set that to share with her then so she would know when to bring a piece of furniture but didn't turn it off. Our calendar in August had dinner with friends on Friday at 7, his mom saw it and showed up the restaurant at 6.50 while we were not there yet, our friend texted that she saw his mom near the door, we changed plans last minute and went somewhere else. He removed his mom from the shared calendar in front of me and apologized to our friends via text, then called his mom and told her to leave the area and not to do that again while she said you made the calendar

public to me and he said that. Was a mistake and it is removed. Edit. A few weeks since the dinner I cut contact with his family on the day after, I still have no contact. My husband has minimal contact with his dad over logistics for a storage unit they co-lease. He has no contact with his mom or sister, and he told me that on the record. New thing today is that his mother left a review on our wedding registry page that still exists where she wrote Hope You Two Find Peace, not harmful in content but public. I asked my husband to remove her access. He did. He also emailed the registry company to ask for the removal of that public note if possible, they send a general reply saying they don't moderate but we can change privacy

settings, he set it to private, and we saved a screenshot. Also new thing is that a friend of his sister from high school DM'd me on Facebook Messenger from a name I don't know with the message she has grown, you should meet her. I blocked the account and sent a screenshot to my husband, he replied I don't recognize that name, then messaged his sister ask your friends to stop contacting my wife, she replied I didn't ask anyone, he wrote then tell them to say, stop if they ask you, and she didn't answer. We met with an attorney for a consult about harassment for 30 minutes, brought our timeline, and the attorney said we can send a formal cease and desist letter to his mother and sister if the visits and messages continue, set a restraining order

is possible if there are repeated unwanted contacts after a clear warning, and said to keep our log, save all screenshots, and continue to not engage. We have not sent the letter yet, but will if there is another show up at the building or a call to work. I changed my phone number yesterday and gave the new number to my parents, my boss, three close friends, and my husband while my old number forwards to voicemail with a message that says to email me. I set email filters to send anything from his family to a folder I don't look at, my husband has access to that folder to monitor for anything urgent, and he agreed to be the point of contact. We also asked building management to keep the no-guest note on file for six months and to call the police non-emergency line if his mother or sister try to push in, and management agreed.

His dad texted my husband that his mom's feelings are hurt, he replied that is not the point, his dad said she is under stress, my husband said stop, and his dad has sent no messages since. We are still married, we are living in the same place, he has not shared anything about me since the dinner, we keep our plan visible on the fridge, He reads it out loud once a week at the counsellor's suggestion and sets a calendar reminder for that. I leave the room and he reads it to the empty kitchen, he says it helps him, and I don't have to listen. I don't know where this lands a year from now, but today I have no contact with his family after what happened at our dinner and after the pressure that followed. I hear the words drama queen and I record them and then I move on to the next task at hand since there is laundry to do and bills to pay. I can move around the apartment without thinking about who might knock since the front desk calls if anyone tries, that is the state of things. Edit, update after week six because something shifted and I want it written down.

His sister sent a letter by certified mail to our building that arrived Friday with the envelope having both our names, we refused delivery, the courier left a slip, we took a photo of the slip and emailed our attorney and asked if refusing was the right move. The attorney said yes if we do not want to engage and also said to send a cease and desist now because of the certified mail attempt, so we did it today. It goes to his mother and his sister, states the dates of the incidents, the instruction to cease all contact direct and indirect, and the possible legal steps, we will see what happens. I'm sharing all this in one place so there is a record of the things that has happened to me. If there is more I will add it. Edit, small update two weeks later, the cease and desist letters came back as delivered and

we got the confirmations by email from the attorney. Since then, no knocks, no calls to work, no packages at the door, his mom posted a photo of a dish on Instagram with no captions about family. His sister's account is private now, I have not received any messages from unknown accounts, and my husband had a 10-minute call with his dad about the storage unit schedule where his dad did not mention me or the situation, that is it. We are still having the counseling session. We also canceled a trip to visit his grandmother in October since the tickets were non-refundable. We used the travel credit for a different trip next year. We accepted the cost. We told no one in his family about the change, and my parents know in case someone reaches out to them.