Reddit Stories - Spouse RELOCATED his ailing mother into our RESIDENCE without CONSULTING me and expected

Episode Date: November 22, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #familydrama #boundaries #communication #inlawsSummary: My spouse relocated his ailing mother into our residence without consulting me and expected me to take care of her. I feel betrayed and overwhelmed by this decision that directly impacts my life without my input.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, familydrama, boundaries, communication, inlaws, spouse, mother, relocation, residence, consulting, decision, impacted, overwhelmed, betrayed, careBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse relocated his ailing mother into our residence without consulting me and expected me to tend to her needs while he declined to engage a caregiver. However, I stumbled upon documents confirming her medical history. She'd been healthy for months and they were both lying. So, about six months ago, my husband, 42, male, decided that he was going to have his sick mother, 67, female, move in with us, and the best part of that, was that he did not even think that it was important to consult me before making such a huge

decision. Even back then, I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he is a single child and my mother-in-law is a widow, so she didn't exactly have anybody else to take care of her and she used to live all by herself before she moved in with us. A couple of weeks before she moved in, and the reason my husband thought he needed to take care of her, was because she had somehow contracted hepatitis A and was finding it difficult to take care of herself. She had fallen really ill and after a couple of days in the hospital, my husband decided to move her into our house without even checking with me first. Honestly, it was not a problem for me that she had been moved into our house.

My problem was that he didn't even think that it was important to ask me and we had a couple of fights about that in the initial stages. But eventually, I tried to understand his position, and I agreed to let her stay with us until she got better. A huge part of the reason that I agreed was that he had told me that his mother was always diabetic and suffered from chronic osteoarthritis, so it's not like she was in the pink of health apart from hepatitis. She had comorbidities and if something happened to her, and he wasn't there to take care of her, he would never be able to forgive himself. Since she was already pretty

aged, he wanted to be a good son to her and take care of her in her last days. That really touched me and I put myself in his shoes, after which I decided to accept his decision. Besides, my husband and I, 36, female, have been together for five years and married for three, and I've had a good relationship with both him and my mother-in-law so far. I used to get along quite well with my father-in-law as well until he passed away last year, so we had a fairly normal relationship, and I thought that I could overlook this one incident which I didn't think was right. But after he moved his mother in with us, things started changing rapidly, and I could barely keep up. All of a sudden, I was expected to do

twice the work because I work from home but my husband has to go out. I had assumed that he would eventually hire a nurse and I would only have to take care of my mother-in-law while staying back home for a couple of days at most. However, when I discussed it with him, he told me that he had no intention of hiring a nurse for his mother because he thought it would be a waste of money since I was going to be at home anyway, and if his mother needed anything, she could just call out to me. He believed that having a nurse would be pointless and even though both of us make a decent income, he was being weirdly stingy about the whole situation and that did not sit right with me. We had had had this discussion almost two weeks after his mother had moved in with us,

and by then, I had already started feeling exhausted because of all the pressure that was on me. Not only would I have to work professionally, but I also ended up having to help my mother-in-law with almost everything because she was so weak. I had to feed her, I had to walk her to the bathroom whenever she needed to use the loo when I even had to do all my household chores alongside that. The worst part was cooking two separate meals, one for my husband and me and the other for my mother-in-law because she couldn't have the kind of food that we were having. It had started to tire me out and when I brought it up with my husband, I expected him to be sympathetic towards me, but instead, he told me that I just had to deal with it because we couldn't afford

to spend money on things that we didn't need, like the services of a nurse. And he kept bringing up the fact that I work from home, so it would be easy for me to take care of my mother-in-law, I just had to set my mind to it. I don't think he realized that even though I do work from home, it still work and it was impossible for me to do everything all at once. So we got into a couple of really big fights, and I guess that's when things really started going downhill with us because he refused to understand what was going on with me

and I just felt helpless because I couldn't just abandon my mother-in-law after how nice she had been to me all along. After every fight that I would have with my husband, I would still go back to taking care of her, and she would try to console me and would always be on my side, which is what made it harder to leave because even though I had developed an emotional bond with her. But I guess I should have known that it was all fake because even though she would always tell me that I was right, she never told her son that, which would have solved a lot of issues. At one point, I threatened to divorce him,

but after that, he started trying to pacify me because he realized that I was serious. After that, he started trying to come to a common ground with me, and eventually, it was decided that he would take over more household chores and try to relieve me of my duties at home so I could at least take care of his mother. It wasn't ideal but at least it was something, so I decided to settle for it. And that was another mistake that I made because even though he helped me out and stuck to his word for the first couple of months, soon he started slacking off, and I was back to my old routine. Eventually, my mother-in-law's health did start getting better, but it wasn't good enough for her to help me out around the house. It was just really frustrating

and for the past couple of months, I'd been fighting with my husband more frequently. The only reason I had been holding on was because I loved him and no matter how much, we would eventually make it up to each other. He would apologize for everything that he did wrong and promise that he would try to change and then for the next couple of weeks, he would actually change but then, slowly, it was back to our old cycle. At this point, I can't even count how many times I had forgiven him and how many times I had vented to my mother-in-law about how everything was going wrong and she had told

me that eventually, it would be fine again. It had been feeling like everything actually had been falling apart in a couple of days ago. I realized that everything actually had fallen apart because my mother-in-law and my husband had teamed up and had been lying to me for the past couple of months. Because while rifling through our shared cupboard for something, I accidentally came across something that I was probably not supposed to find. My husband had definitely hidden it because otherwise, I can't think of a single reason he would put away medical records of my mother-in-law and a duffel bag and push it to the very back of our cupboard, where it was unlikely to be found. I couldn't understand most of it, but I did see the dates and call it

intuition or whatever, but I just knew that something was off about this whole situation. So I decided to take a couple of pictures of those papers and I sent them to my cousin, who happens to be a doctor. I waited for a couple of minutes for a response and then, I found out that the papers that I had come across were the results of some tests, and basically, my mother-in-law had been given a clean bill of health. From the dates, I deduced that it had been almost two months since these results had come back and my husband hadn't even bothered to tell me about it. Let alone my husband, not even my mother-in-law had told me anything about it, even though I am pretty sure that she knew that she was back to normal now. The whole thing just made me really

mad because, like a fool, I had still been running after my mother-in-law and doing everything for her so she wouldn't have to exert herself. After finding out those papers, I decided to to go for a drive to clear my head and I left my mother-in-law alone at home because I knew that she was perfectly fine and she would be able to take care of herself. It was only the hepatitis that we had actually been worried about. She had been dealing with diabetes and arthritis for a really long time so she would be just fine by herself. About an hour later, my husband finally came back home that day, and he started calling me and texting me about my whereabouts. He seemed pretty upset that I had just left his mother alone at home and gone out without

even informing her and demanded that I come back home so we could talk about how irresponsible I had been. That's what made me even more mad and I decided to go back home immediately so I could confront him. And that's exactly what I did. As soon as I walked in before he could even say anything, I told him that I knew for a fact that his mother was perfectly healthy now and that the two of them had been hiding it from me for the past two months. I told him that I wouldn't have had any issues taking care of his mother anyway, but I had a problem with the fact that he had been lying to me. And it hadn't just been a recent development. He had been lying to me from the very beginning, right from when he moved his mother in with us.

Because according to me, even hiding the truth is a form of lying, and he knew for a fact that he had been planning on moving his mother in with us. But yet, he did not tell me anything about it until it was already done, so I wouldn't even be able to change it. He was pretty speechless. I guess he had no idea that I had found those papers and at first, he tried to deny it and told me that I had lost my mind and I had no idea what I was talking about. He was obviously trying to gaslight me, so I threw those results towards him, and then I told

him that he had just blown his last chance to apologize to me and tried to make things right. After this, there was no going back because he had betrayed my trust for the last time and I wanted to get out of my house. That was the point at which I guess he realized his mistake and then, he started begging me to forgive him and told me that he was just about to tell me, but he just didn't know how to because he knew that I was not happy with this arrangement, but he did not want me to make his mom leave. So he had been really confused and that's why he had been holding off on telling me the truth and he was sorry about all of it. But at that point, his apologies meant nothing to me

because I had had had it. It was bad enough that he had been lying to me, it was even worse that his mother had also been lying to me after all that I had done for her. When I asked him if his mother knew that she was completely fine, he did not even deny it and that was when I told him that I wanted both of them to get out. I had the right to kick them out because technically, this house is mine. My grandparents had left it to my mother, who had then had the title transferred to me, and my husband had moved in with me after we started dating. So I had every right to ask him to leave, but then he started crying and told me that he had nowhere to go and neither did his mom because apparently, he had sold her house a couple of weeks after she moved in with us.

I was shocked to my core because the fact that he had sold the house meant that he had been sitting on a pile of money from that sale because I knew for a fact that his mother's house was in good shape and in a nice neighborhood, so it must have sold for a decent amount of money. And in spite of that, I had been slogging like a fool because he was too much of a miser to spend some money on hiring a nurse for his own mother. I couldn't take it anymore after that and I told him that I wanted him out that very instant, and I didn't care where he and his mother went, I just wanted them to leave the house. He tried to reason with me, but I just kept screaming at him and after a while, he had to give up. Even his mother tried to come to talk to me so I would come down, but I didn't want to

hear any of them out. I screamed at her as well and forced both of them to leave the house that day. Since then, I haven't heard from either of them and I've already spoken to an attorney because I definitely plan on getting separated from him. But the only thing that I'm still doubtful about is whether I did the right thing by kicking them out that day, since a couple of people have been telling me that it was quite harsh of me to take my mother-in-law out, knowing that she's quite old. I know that, but I also know for a fact that her son is with her, so it's not like she's going to be in any trouble and they have money, so I'm sure they'll make good use of it. However, even then, I'm having second thoughts about what I did and I'm not sure if I should

reach out to my mother-in-law and apologize to her or not. So Ida for kicking my husband and mother-in-law out of my house? Edit, okay, so these people that I had been referring to in my original post are actually my own family. It's my parents and my older sister and I really take them seriously, which is why I've been feeling crazy about what I did. On one hand, I know for a fact that what they said is true, it might have been quite harsh, but on the other hand, I also don't think what I did was inherently wrong because I had been forced to take such an extreme step by them. My parents and my sister both know what I have been through in the past couple of months and the fact that they still have this opinion. I don't know. It just seems very weird.

But I didn't want to discredit it and go on claiming that I was right without thinking about this critically, which is why I had come here to Reddit. Update 1, so it's been a couple of days and since most of you guys believe that I did not do anything wrong by kicking both of them out to the curb, I have decided that I'm not going to be apologizing. I have also spoken to my family about what they said, about me being too harsh on them, and I told them that after what I have been through, I really don't think that I was too harsh. I think that I was reasonable enough and I had been for a really long time, but now, expecting me to be nice to them, was as bad as asking me to be cruel to myself. So I had a bit of an argument with them because they don't have the same

opinion as me and it's kind of sad because right now, I feel really lonely because I feel like I'm on bad terms with all the important people on my life. But it's fine, at least I know that I'm being nice to myself and I'm doing what is right. And at least all my friends are still by my side because after I told them what happened and they told me that if they had been in my place, my husband and my mother-in-law would have been out long ago simply because of how badly they have been treating me. They told me that I loved my husband and they knew it, which is why I'd put up with this behavior for so long. But now, I was right to have done what I did and I'm going to stand by that, no matter who is against me. Anyway, in my original post, I mentioned that I had

gotten in touch with an attorney and recently, I filed for divorce. It was not easy for me to bring myself to do it because I knew that I was putting an end to a really long and probably the most meaningful relationship that I've ever had in my life so far. My husband was pretty much my first love, and I know I found him really late, but I also just knew that he was my soulmate when I found him. We have had so many good times that it's really difficult for me to bring myself to say goodbye, but I know I have to do it for my own good. Because the past couple of months have been nothing short of heartbreaking and toxic, and I've come to see a completely different side of him that I had no idea even existed. He has been manipulative, he has been selfish, and worst of all,

he has been disrespectful and dishonest. I just cannot put up with this and I think, that's why, it's better for me to part ways with him. And this, I think, everyone will agree with, even my family. The terms of the divorce are pretty fair in my opinion because we're splitting everything equally, apart from the house, which is still going to belong to me. I'm not demanding any long-term alimony from him that I can live off of for years, but I feel like I'm entitled to a certain amount of money because of all the effort that I have put in for the past couple of months. It was a lot of labor and I don't care if it sounds good, but I feel like I deserve it. to be reimbursed for everything that I've done, especially now that I know that he had sold

the house that used to belong to his mother and never even told me about it, just so he wouldn't have to hire a nurse. I think that in itself makes me entitled to alimony, even though we have similar incomes. I've already told my lawyer that that's a non-negotiable for me. Anyway, that's for us to worry about later. Right now I'm just worried about how he's going to take this. I'm just hoping that he takes a similar approach to what he has done ever since I kicked him out. stays cold and stoic, and doesn't try to come back into my life, because I think that will be easier to deal with. Right now, I'm obviously kind of hurt that he hasn't reached out to me, not even to apologize for one final time, but I think it's easier to deal with all the

pain this way. If he's not begging for a second chance, I won't be tempted to give him one and that's why I really hope that he just lets it all go. Update 2. So, my husband was served a couple of days ago and today, he finally decided to reach out to me. First, he called me up while I was working, and I decided to ignore him because I really didn't want to speak to him. He kept calling for a couple of hours until I muted all notifications from him. In the evening, my doorbell started ringing, and of course, it was him standing outside with the divorce papers. He looked really upset, and he asked me if I really wanted to do this, to which I replied that I really intended on going through with this because after everything that had happened, I just couldn't

see him the same day again and things had been ruined once and for all. I told him that for the past six months, he had been treating me as badly as it possibly could, and I had been taken completely for granted. Part of it was my fault as well because I guess I had unknowingly let him treat me like a doormat, just because I loved him and I thought that it was fine to make sacrifices for the sake of our marriage, but I didn't realize that I was the only one who was actually making these sacrifices. But now that I had realized all of these things, it was difficult for me to go back to him, and I requested him to leave and not try to make things right with me because that would make things even more difficult for me after I was done talking. He just told me that he still loved me

and was willing to give everything a chance to work again. He said that the only reason he had come back to me right now instead of reaching out to me these past few days was because he wanted to give me some space and time to cool down on my own and then he would try to make it up to me and come back, but he hadn't realized that I was going to take things so far and file for divorce. He tried to tell me that it was still not too late to try and fix our marriage, but that just made me really sad because it made me see how he still didn't realize that for me, it really was too late. So I explained to him that I did not want to give our marriage a second chance because I had given him enough chances throughout the past couple of months and all he had done

so far was disappointed me. He kept on promising me that he would change and then breaking all those promises and I was tired of having to deal with this over and over again. I ended up getting quite emotional, even though I had managed to keep my emotions under control until that point. But then, I told him that I was just exhausted from having my heart broken by him so many times in such a short span of time. At that point, he started crying and all of a sudden, he literally fell to his knees, and that came as a bit of a surprise to me because even though we have been together for a really long time, he's never been very expressive or romantic. And I've known that that, and I've always been fine with it because I'm not really into that kind of thing anyway.

But then, when he was on his knees, begging me to give him just one last chance, I couldn't help myself, and I literally started sobbing. For a couple of minutes, neither of us could bring ourselves to even say anything because we got so emotional. But eventually, I told him to get back up on his feet because I had made up my mind and I was not going to go back on it. So I told him that while I really appreciated the fact that he had finally come to his senses and was trying to convince me to come back to him, I was afraid that it wasn't going to be possible because I had left him too far behind now emotionally and even though I hadn't fully moved on, I was planning on doing so. I also told him that even if I did somehow manage to forgive him,

I would never be able to bring myself to be on good terms with his mother ever again because the way she betrayed me, it was much worse. She and I had spent the entire day together for the past six months and at least I was still fighting with my husband, but she had faked it all along. while pretending to be on my side, she was just lying to my face the whole time. And in my opinion, that was much worse and heartless than what my husband had done. So I couldn't ever bring myself to be nice to her after this and I didn't want to be the kind of wife who makes her husband choose between his mother and herself because that way he would only end up resenting me and I didn't want that.

But he still did not leave. He kept trying to convince me that there was still a way that we could make this work and I didn't have to end this way but eventually, I convinced him that this is how it was ending, whether he liked it or not, and I wanted him to leave instead of making this more difficult than it has to be. So after a while, he finally walked away and both of us were still crying, but at least we got the closure that we needed. I don't know how things are going to be from this point onwards, but I really needed this last meeting. I don't know how to explain it, but it really made me feel considerably better because I feel like I got a lot of things off my chest. I was afraid that I

would be letting him go without truly having this final honest discussion and now that I've had it, I feel ready to let him go. Update 3, hey, so I'm currently in the process of getting divorced. A few weeks ago, my husband finally responded to the divorce papers and he's not contesting the divorce. He also agreed to all the terms with just a couple of minor modifications, so we just have to wait for the waiting period to be over and then we will be officially divorced. We haven't been speaking much, we've only stuck to speaking through our lawyers and that's it. I can't say that I'm over everything, I'm definitely not. But I'm trying to get over it, I'm trying to heal and I'm doing everything to keep myself busy. I've also managed to reconnect

with my family over the last couple of weeks. I guess they had a change of heart or something and reached out to me a couple of days ago, to tell me that they were sorry for the way they had behaved with me earlier. They said that they had had had a knee-jerk reaction to what I had said and hadn't fully understood what I had been going through, which had made me behave like that and forced me to take such a drastic step. But now that they had thought about it, they realized that I hadn't been all that wrong and instead of supporting me during such a difficult phase of my life, they had been pushing me away and they were really apologetic about it. I decided to forgive them and we've been trying to patch things up as of now, and it's been

going well. So that's how it's been and I'm hoping that with time, things will get better. So my divorce finally came through earlier this week. I've been having mixed feelings about it all week and I decided to talk about it here, so I could express myself a bit freely. Of course, I've already spoken to my friends and family about it and they've all consoled me and told me that now, I should just think about the future and stuff, the usual. But honestly, I just want to think about all the good times that I had with my husband, with my ex-husband, to be precise. I know it sounds strange after everything that has happened, but I don't want to be bitter about this part of my life. If I decide to think about it, hatefully, I'll never be able to truly move

on. So I have decided to remember everything fondly and let it all go. I don't intend not have any contact with him after this point and I'm definitely not in love with him anymore, but I don't want to hate him either, if that makes sense. None of this has been easy, but I had to do it and I am really relieved that it's all over now. I'm also very sad that it's all over now but it's fine, I'll get over it. I just felt like saying this and yeah, I'm hoping for the best now.