Reddit Stories - Spouse STRAYED with a COLLEAGUE at an event and DEPARTED from me, then

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #infidelity #betrayal #relationshipadvice #heartbreak #divorce  Summary: A spouse strayed with a colleague during an event, leading to a painful departure from the relationship. The emotional turmoil and betrayal left behind raise questions about trust and the future of their partnership. Seeking advice on coping and moving forward after such a devastating experience is essential.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, infidelity, betrayal, relationshipadvice, heartbreak, divorce, emotionalpain, trustissues, movingon, loveadvice, couples, separation, healing, selfcare, support, advice, lifechangesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Episode with two stories, first part. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse strayed with a colleague at an event and departed from me, then utilized our icy embryo without my consent to conceive, so I welcomed her back and now she abandoned our baby and wants nothing to do with us. My wife, 36F, and I, 40M, have been together five years and got married last year. We definitely have our ups and downs, but we're generally happy. On Friday she went out with people from her work for Christmas drinks and arrived home around midnight absolutely hammered. She just said she'd had a good time and went straight to bed. Yesterday I got a message on Instagram from an anonymous account claiming to be one of her colleagues saying she'd been flirting all night with one of the guys from the office, 44m, and they'd left together at about nine to walk to the train station. The colleague had a couple more drinks for then went to the station herself, and says she saw my wife walking.

hand in hand with the guy through the station at about 10.45. They didn't see her. Last night I showed her the message and asked her for an explanation. She claimed she was so drunk she doesn't remember anything that happened after about 8 p.m. I asked if she went somewhere with the guy after they left the group and she checked the location history on her phone which confirmed that they had gone to a bar near the station for about an hour. They arrived at the station at 10.40. She gave me her phone and insisted I check it and there were no suspicious messages or anything. As far as I could tell she doesn't have the guy's number in her phone and they're not following each other on Instagram or friends on Facebook.

I asked if she was flirting with him and she admitted that she was talking mostly to him all night but that's just because he's the only person in her office she has anything in common with and that they're just friends and it wasn't flirting. She's mentioned this guy to me before and said how much they have in common. I asked if they were holding hands and she said she doesn't remember but she doesn't think so. She claims to know who sent me the message and says it's a woman in the office who hates her although she doesn't know why. Today she's been in a terrible mood and we've not really spoken. So that's where we are. I'm not sure what to do. Is this as big a red flag as it seems to be?

Update 1. A few people requested an update to my last post and a lot has happened in the last week. so here it is. I'll post any further updates on my profile. Sam came home from work on Monday and casually said that she'd spoken with the guy, Tom, and he'd confirmed that they hadn't held hands they'd just been walking arm in arm because she was drunk and wearing heels. I asked why her colleague, Helen, would make an Instagram account, track me down, and message me saying they held hands if it wasn't true. She said Helen is basically in love with Tom and made a pass at him just after his divorce, but he rejected her. I asked why Helen would feel threatened by her. She said because her and Tom are

friends and Helen's a crazy jealous bitch as evidenced by the Instagram message. I asked why she went for a drink just her and Tom. She said that according to Tom they walked past this bar with an amazing live band playing so they stopped in for a drink. Her only regret was doing too many shots too early and getting shit-faced. The next day she went shopping after work and came home with a new dress. I asked what the occasion was and she said her work Christmas party. Last week was just drinks with people from her office. The company Christmas party is on Friday. Apparently she'd mentioned this. I hardly slept that night. The next day I decided to reply to the Instagram message to get some more info. I asked, do you think anything's going on with them?

Helen, I assume, quickly replied with a long message saying that they flirt at work and everyone's noticed. Apparently Sam was going to be let go, but Tom put in a good word so she kept her job. Tom protects her in the office and will constantly defend her. She also said that Sam bitches about me to the whole office and it's clear we don't have a happy marriage. I asked if she was going to the Christmas party and she said she was. She said she'd update me if anything happened. Sam finished work early on Friday, so she had time to get ready. She looked amazing and I really didn't want her to go, but I felt like I couldn't say anything.

I got an Instagram message about midnight saying that Sam and Tom hadn't interacted at the party, but that people from the office had decided to leave and go to a different bar. They all left just before 11 and were at the new bar by 10 past. Sam and Tom turned up just before midnight. Sam arrived home about 2 a.m. not quite as drunk as last time and went straight to sleep. I pretended to be fast asleep. I looked at the location history on her phone. After leaving the venue she'd taken a three-mile detour to a residential street, stayed for half an hour, then gone to the bar. I sent the address to Helen.

She didn't reply until the next morning when she said it was Tom's house. When Sam woke up I just asked her straight out if she'd cheated on me with Tom last night. She angrily denied it. I told her that I knew she'd been to Tom's house. She accused me of spying on her. Called me controlling. Said she was going to stay with her sister. I demanded an explanation and she said she went to his house so they could smoke a joint before heading to the bar.

Then she stormed out. She wouldn't reply to my messages. or answer my calls all day Sunday. I called her sister who said she hadn't seen her, but she text me later that she'd spoken to Sam and she was okay. Sam came home yesterday morning. I asked where she'd been and she just said she couldn't do this anymore and wants a divorce. She went to start packing some clothes while I tried to get her to talk to me.

I asked if she was leaving me for Tom. She once again denied anything inappropriate had happened between them but said my jealousy was the final straw. It's clear I don't trust her. I'm controlling. I take her for granted. She's deeply unhappy. Has been for a while.

So she's gone. It looks like I'll be spending my first Christmas alone. I have no idea if she was telling the truth or if it was an affair. Weirdly I'm not feeling too bad today, so maybe this is for the best. Update 2 once she was gone Sam blocked me on all her social media and refused to return my messages or answer my calls. I ended up traveling to the other side of the country to spend Christmas with my parents. On Christmas Eve Sam came home and took more of her stuff. I watched her on our security cameras.

I tried phoning her but she ignored my calls. Christmas wasn't great and my parents were both shocked and in denial about what had happened. They had no idea we were having issues and insisted Sam would come to her senses and come home. Eventually I just said she'd met someone else. I returned home on the 27th. I'd been getting sporadic updates from Sam's sister just letting me know she's all right, but without any details. Before all this happened, we'd made plans to spend New Year's Eve at Sam's favorite bar in the city. I went on my own, but she didn't show up.

On Tuesday night I received an Instagram message from Helen saying that Sam and Tom had arrived at work together in Tom's car. I didn't bother replying. On Wednesday night she sent another message saying Sam was poisoning the office against her and that Tom was pushing up her management to transfer her to another office or get rid of her. She begged me to do something. I text Sam and said we needed to talk but she didn't reply. So the next day I called her work switchboard, gave a fan. fake name, and got put through. I could tell she wasn't happy to hear my voice, but she agreed to meet up after work at a local pub and talk. I got there early and she arrived 25 minutes late.

She apologized for ignoring my calls and said she still cares about me and wants to end things on good terms. I said, just tell me the truth. She promised that she wasn't having an affair with Tom and they were just friends. She admitted that they talk a lot in the office but insisted it wasn't an emotional fair. She understands why I was suspicious after the Instagram message but said I should have accepted her denial and trusted her. She has a lot of male friends but she felt like she couldn't hang out with them because I'd get jealous. I pointed out that I've never told her not to hang out with anyone but she said I'd be in a mood whenever she'd hang out with a guy friend. She feels like we only got married to try and fix a relationship that was already broken.

Our conversations have devolved into small talk and we've drifted apart. I said I'd heard that she and Tom arrived at work together. Sam said she went to Tom's after I accused her of cheating and knew it was over between us. They spent the weekend together and agreed that they'd make a better couple than we did. She needed me to know that nothing happened between them until after she'd told me she wanted a divorce. And now they were together. And she wanted me to hear it from her before I saw her. it on social media. Tom was waiting outside for her in the car. All I could do was stand up and walk

out. Sam texted me saying she knew I was upset but not to do anything stupid. I blocked her number. I'm not going to lie, it was a rough night. The next day I was just numb. Didn't really do much. Over the weekend I dug out our marriage certificate so I can start divorce proceedings. I've no idea what to say to Helen so I haven't replied. I think the plan now is to try and find a new job closer to my hometown. I moved across the country to live with Sam and I've never really felt settled here. I also don't want to run into her and Tom around town. Luckily we rent. This will probably be my last update unless something miraculous happened so thanks for reading. Update 3, my soon-to-be ex-wife is pregnant and has suggested to her friend that it's mine.

The only way this is possible is if she's had our final frozen embryo implanted without my permission. If that's what she's done then either the IVF clinic haven't asked for my sign-off or she's somehow convinced them that I've granted permission. When I left our shared house in January I couldn't find my passport so it's likely she has it. I'm waiting for a call back from the clinic but I'm freaking out and want to get a an idea of the potential consequences. Could she get sent to prison? What will happen to the clinic? What happens when the baby arrives considering the circumstances? We're in England. Thanks. Edit, I've finally spoken to the clinic manager and it seems this is all down to my own stupidity.

When our last embryo didn't take, we signed all the paperwork a few weeks later to do the final transfer. My wife then developed some hormonal issues so we paused. the process until she could get it sorted out. Then for various reasons we decided not to proceed with the transfer which she told the clinic. Apparently they just paused the process for up to three years in order to protect our deposit and the consent forms remain valid. My wife had the transfer six weeks ago. Update 4. My ex-wife is pregnant with our first child due on Christmas Eve. There's more detail in my profile but essentially we broke up last Christmas and I moved back in with my parents 200 plus miles away.

She started a relationship with a co-worker which caused so much drama at her work that in February she reached a mutual agreement that she would immediately resign in exchange for six-month salary. The relationship ended and she used the settlement money to restart the IVF process we paused years earlier. When I found out she was pregnant, I contacted the IVF clinic who explained that the contracts we'd signed at the start of the process were still valid and they hadn't done anything wrong. I disagreed in thanks to the advice slash recommendations. I hired solicitors specializing

in clinical negligence and contract law. They managed to negotiate a settlement with the clinic in lieu of legal action and my ex and I ended up with about 80,000 pounds each after fees. Plus the clinic updated their processes to require consent be reconfirmed by both parties before any embryo transfer takes place. For the last four months I've been in regular contact with my ex. discussing settlement negotiations and traveling down south for scans. When I asked why she did it, she just said that she knew this was her last chance to have a baby, and when she came into some money she took it as a sign that she should go ahead with the embryo transfer before I remember to withdraw consent.

She's since been diagnosed with bipolar disorder which in her mind has absolved her of any responsibility for her actions. She's desperate for us to get back together and raise our son as a family. I'm not interested in being a couple but I obviously don't want to be 200 miles away from my son. I've got a new job so I really didn't want to move back down to Hampshire but she was willing to move up to Yorkshire as long as we lived together so we agreed to spend the settlement money on a house in my hometown. I picked up the keys last week and I've been furnishing slash decorating in preparation for us moving in next week. My ex has no friends or family around here and no job. Us living together is going to be. to be super awkward but once the baby comes I'm hoping we can get into a co-parenting routine. The new house has three bedrooms so we'll have one each and one for our son. We've agreed

not to see other people for at least three years, her request. What's the best way to navigate this situation? We're both very excited to be parents and I hope I'm making the best of a shitty situation but it's obviously fraught with potential pitfalls. I don't see us rekindling a romantic relationship but in an ideal world will live together for a few years then sell the house, by which point shall be settled here and we can live close to each other and co-parent our son. I hope I'm not being unbelievably naive and making a huge mistake. My parents are excited to be grandparents but they're not keen on the idea of us living together.

Update 5. To say my last post got a negative response would be an understatement. It was a strange feeling reading all the replies saying what a mistake I was. making after putting in so much thought and spending lots of time and effort to get where I was. Someone sent me a link of my previous posts. Hearing the worst time of my life being read out loud really affected me and brought out a lot of feelings of guilt and shame. It made me realize that I hadn't even began to process what happened last Christmas,

or why, and I contacted a therapist the next day. Sam moved in the day before my first appointment. It was awkward but she was busy organizing her new. room, so I just left her to it. That night we ordered pizza and watched a movie. It was nice. I met the therapist the next day and explained the situation. He thought the whole thing was a bad idea, but as we were now living together he agreed to help us navigate things as smoothly as possible. He thought couples therapy would be the best option. Sam and I have seen him every week since then, and gone through our entire relationship. After four miscarriage, he was a couple's

The last two at 12-plus weeks absolutely wrecked Sam's mental health I started cooling on the idea of continuing to try for a child. Instead of talking to Sam, she so desperately wanted to be a mom I thought it would break her, I just pulled away from her. Of course she noticed and blamed herself and began spiraling. Couple this with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and the hormone issues which resulted from the IVF and it was a recipe for disaster. Sam thought, possibly correctly, that I wanted out of the relationship but was too cowardly to come out and say it, so I just checked out and waited for her to get sick of me. The whole Tom situation was the straw that broke the camel's back and she gave up fighting for our marriage and let me get out guilt-free.

In therapy I've learned to accept my responsibility for the breakup of our marriage. I wasn't a good husband towards the end and it's a miracle Sam stuck around as long as she did. The time apart made me realize how much I still love her. We've agreed to try and embrace what's happened and be thankful it brought us to where we are now. Hopefully we've both learned lessons that will make our relationship stronger, I know I have. So we're now back living as a couple. I cancelled the divorce which was taking ages as Sam refused to engage with it. Our son was born on December 11th to second weeks earlier than expected, and he's absolutely perfect.

I'm holding him as I write this. I know a lot of people who read my previous posts will be disappointed with how I've handled this, but at the end of the day we've only got one chance at life and I honestly can't think of a better way to spend mine. Thanks for all your advice over the past year and Merry Christmas. Comments where Ope has replied, comment one. Man, don't rug sweep the Tom situation. Did Helen lose her job because of them? Oop, no, Sam lost her job and Helen stayed.

Tom didn't step in to save Sam which caused a huge argument and led to them breaking up. Tom moved to a new company a few months later. Comment two. Oh, poor guy. You let yourself be manipulated into taking her back. This was why people told you moving in together was a bad idea. Didn't it ever occur to you that her getting pregnant with your child without your consent is another manipulation tactic.

Then this sobbed story. You fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. Oop, yes, that did occur to me, but bear in mind we've been trying for a child for three years, two cycles of IVF and four embryo transfers resulting in miscarriage. The only reason we didn't go for the fifth transfer was the toll it was taking on Sam's mental slash physical health. She truly believed this was her last chance at having a baby and that I was going to withdraw consent. To me that's forgivable but of course I understand where you're coming from.

Update 6. My wife gave birth to our son in December. She suffers from untreated bipolar disorder and after Christmas she developed severe PPD. We agreed that she'd go and stay with her mom for a week as she was spiraling and needed a break. She never came back and were no longer in direct contact. Our last conversation was over a month ago and it didn't go well. She apparently has no interest in being in our son's life or even getting updates on him. As far as I know she's still living with her mum 200 plus miles away. I've been offered a secondment at my company's Swedish office covering maternity leave for a year. I want to take it, but I don't want to tell my wife as she would likely try to throw a spanner in the works.

I have my son's passport and original birth certificate. Can I just go without telling her? We also own a house together which I'd like to rent out while I'm away. If she turns up out of the blue and finds someone else living here, could she do anything? There's no mortgage and all the bills are in my name, but she's on the deeds. To be clear, if she ever decides to unblock me and wants to see our son, then of course we'd come back. I'm not looking to take him away from her forever, but I think this would be good for us. That's the end of the first story.

Let's begin the second one. I hope you enjoy this story. Became pregnant and my partner vanished, so I placed the infant for adoption. However, 16 years later, he spotted me with my stepchild during a medical visit and pondered. It was our child and now he wants me to leave my husband. I, 32F, had a baby boy when I was 16. Yes, I know how that sounds like. No, we weren't careful.

judge me all you want on that front, I've dealt with that for years. Mike 33M was my boyfriend then and when I found out about my pregnancy, he did a disappearing act with help from his family. Something Future College Star Something. My parents were always blunt, what happened next was my choice. After a lot of thinking and deciding abortion just wasn't for me, I respect that right, I'm not here to debate it. It was just not for me, I chose to give up the baby for.

for adoption. My parents knew a super sweet couple that were looking to adopt. We met and I just knew they were the right people. This turned from a teen mistake to an almost surrogacy. I started homeschool to finish my education and to have rest. The adoptive parents were with me for everything and even paid for most of the medical cost. The adoptive mother was a teacher, so she helped me with my schoolwork and to prepare for college. They were present for the birth and I refused to hold the baby. Instead, his actual mother did. And it was just right. I've stayed in the baby's life in a distant position as a special aunt. Well, he's no longer a baby and he knows who I am. But his mom is the same woman that raised him and I continue to be his special aunt. The only

change is now he knows who to call if he needs a kidney. His sense of humor is like mine, go figure. We talk maybe once in a blue moon, which in all honesty is the best. He's happy and I don't regret giving him up to have a happy life. For my part, I married six years ago. My husband, Aaron, 44M, was divorce in good terms with Bella, 40F. They have two children together. A boy that is 16 and a girl that is 19. Aaron made it clear since we began dating that his kid's approval was important and that Bella was part of his life forever. Not as a spouse, but as a friend and mother to his children. I also told Bella and him about my teen pregnancy. Well, to begin with the kids, my stepdaughter and I get along well. She's obviously closer to her

mother, but she still does girls' days with me every so often. It's more like friends though. My stepson is incredibly close to me. He calls me his other mom and always asks, me to be present for important events. We bonded when his childhood dog passed away, as my cat died about the same time. Bella and I, we're best friends. I know people have complicated relationships with their partner's exes, but we always show respect to each other. I never tried to take her place. I know Aaron and her shared something special long before I was in the picture. That's their history. And I am a stepmom, not a mom. Her place in the kid's life is not up for competition. The reason for this background is that the whole mess with Mike started when I took my stepson

to a medical appointment. It wasn't serious, though he did have to use anesthesia. Aaron and Bella both couldn't get the day off. They tried, but their jobs are on call and they cannot easily take time off. So I went on my own to be my stepson's support. I didn't recognize Mike as one of the doctors. His real name, both first and last name, are incredibly common and it had been years. Not to mention my priority was being my stepson's support and everything else was secondary. After my stepson was done, he was a bit out of it as expected. I was setting him up in the car and making sure he was comfortable when Mike came over. He told me he had been thinking about me and our son for so long, and he was glad our boy was okay.

It really took me a few minutes for my brain to click on what was going on and he kept on rambling about apologies and how he wasn't ready to be a father. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Eventually I just sigh and loudly said, this is not the baby I was pregnant with. I gave him up for adoption after I gave birth. I am a stepmother. My loopy stepson chimed in with, other mom. I had to hold back a smirk to be honest.

Mike was stunned by that and it gave me time to catch him up on the the important details. I gave up the baby, he knows what happened and why I gave him up. I married a man with two children, I am happy and don't want him in my life. And no, I won't give him contact information for the adoptive family. He is 16 years too late. That was the end of it and I got into my car to get my stepson home to rest. Since then Mike found me in social media and has been painting this sob story about me denying him a chance to be a father. How I was was a poor mother that threw away her child to raise someone else's children. I'm basically the she-devil apparently. Most of our former classmates that saw the post reminded him that he left me.

Some of his HS friends even pointed out he laughed about leaving me pregnant. I didn't know that part. A few of his relatives have reached out to bash me about taking Mike's chance to be a father. That it made me a poor Christian. I'm not. I'm Jewish to begin with. A few friends did tell me it was A-B-T-C-H move to give the baby up without telling Mike. I don't personally think I was in the wrong, but in case I decided to leave the judgment to the internet masses. So, Reddit, Ida. Clearing something out, the adoptive parents and bio-child have a phone number to contact Mike's parents if they want. I have no say if they do or not. I just won't give Mike any information on them. Update, this is probably the one and only update.

I'll be doing. I'm going to start with the important matter. A lot of people were worried about my biological kid and what he wished when it came to Mike. Well, I got his permission to post this. He spoke to Mike once a few days after I told him where he could find Mike. I won't share all the details, only the final decision. There won't be any more contact between them. The kid doesn't want a second dad and Mike wasn't willing to be in his life unless he had the position of dad. So he's going no contact with Mike. There was more to it, but it's very personal and I feel it's not my place to share it. The kid and I will continue to have a relationship as aunt and nephew.

And he knows whatever he needs medically, I'll always be first in line to give blood, kidney, etc. For those wondering why Mike is so big into contact with the kid, I found out a few details via his friends. Mike can have more kids. He just hasn't had a stable relationship. relationship in years, which I can believe since I finally had enough and decided to accept going to have coffee with him to get something squared away. My husband came, of course, but he sat in another table to let me deal with it. I asked him too. The conversation was a shit show, to be honest. Mike brought me flowers and chocolate-covered strawberries, my old favorites. He treated it all like

some date. I nipped that, but immediately. I introduced my husband and told him we were very much in love and happy, so I don't appreciate any attempts at unwanted romance. Once we sat down, he started by telling me what I knew about him having failed relationships. That he felt no woman could meet his standards for a wife and mother to his children since he already saw me as that. He claims he feels guilty for choosing college over me and our baby. He was well aware of the court dates regarding custody and that I was trying to put the baby up for adoption. When he saw me taking care of my stepson, he thought I had chickened out of giving the baby away. Seeing me be all caring of our baby boy made him think how great it would be if the three

of us could be a family, and maybe have a bigger family down the road. He had the gall to ask me if I would consider divorcing my husband and try to fight for custody of our son. I have to admit, I laughed in his face. I probably was overly cruel, but I had years of stress, heartache, and judgmental encounters to drop on him. I told him all I saw in him was a coward. A coward that instead of staying to make adult decisions decided to run with help of mommy and daddy. That any love I had for him died the day I had to push out a full human being

and instead of knowing I had support from him, there was a big empty spot where the dad was supposed to be. That I almost ruined my life and had to throw away prom, senior pictures, and even graduation, because I was far too pregnant to party, appear on the yearbook or walk into stage to get my diploma. He got to party and enjoy life while I had to fight tooth and nail for an inch of respect, yet we both had unprotected sex. The only difference is his DCK wasn't big enough to pop a baby out or satisfy a woman to begin

with, that was a bit mean, but not sorry. After I calmed down, I simply told him I had a happy life with a man that loves me. Great stepkids that are the greatest gift. a best friend who lets me be a stepmom to her children. A nephew who I adore and who despite our history as biological mother and child, he still loves me as his special aunt rather than hate me. My family is perfect because he's not part of it and I have no intentions to live in his fantasy. And that I can't wait to get pregnant with my husband's child to add to that perfection.

I also told him to leave the Our Biological Kid alone. He has made his choice and it is up to him if he ever reaches out. out for Mike. And also let him know I would be making a formal complaint to his hospital for his harassment. Good thing my husband took screenshots, because by the time we got home, Mike had deleted all the posts. A lot of his former friends did repost screenshots making fun of him. The silver line in all of this is that I have reconnected with my high school classmates and to be honest, they are great people. Seems Mike is in a handful that stayed in his school height mindset. It's been about three days and no signs of Mike. My husband did get the biggest

ego boost when he overheard me going off on Mike and has been insufferable, in a good way. So, there's mostly good news. Hopefully one of these days will get even more good news since we actually are excited at the idea of having a baby together.