Reddit Stories - Spouse VANISHED for SEVERAL days, CAUSING me to fear the worst. It was

Episode Date: July 20, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #mystery #disappearance #fear #concernSummary: My spouse VANISHED for SEVERAL days, CAUSING me to fear the worst. It was a harrowing experience filled with uncertainty and anxiety as I searched for answers and tried to cope with the sudden absence.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, mystery, disappearance, fear, concern, anxiety, uncertainty, coping, missingperson, marriage, support, family, emotional, traumatic, searchBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse vanished for several days, causing me to fear the worst. It was later revealed that her acquaintances had been covertly capturing my actions for an extended period and shared videos of my emotional collapse. Online for thousands of people to mock. My wife, 32F, and I, 34M, have been married for six years. I work full time, and my wife has been a stay-at-home wife by choice since we got made. married. Last Tuesday morning, I woke up and she was gone. No note, no text, nothing. Her car was missing and when I checked, she'd taken a suitcase worth of clothes. I figured maybe she went to

visit her mom or something and would call later, but by evening I was worried sick. Wednesday came and went with no word. I called her mom, her sister, her friends even her work friends from her old job. Nobody had heard from her. Thursday I was panicking and called hospitals. Friday morning, I filed a missing person report. The police were less than helpful. They basically told me that since she'd taken her belongings and car voluntarily, she probably just left on her own. They said unless there were signs of foul play, adults have the right to disappear. I kept insisting something was wrong because this wasn't like her at all. Saturday afternoon, I was driving around neighborhoods looking for her car when I spotted it in the driveway of her friend Claudia's

house. I knocked on the door and Claudia answered, looking super uncomfortable. When I asked if my wife was there, she hesitated, then my wife appeared behind her. I was so relieved I almost cried right there on the doorstep. I asked what the hell was going on, why she hadn't called, if she was okay. She looked angry, which confused me because I was the one who'd been going out of my mind for four days. She said we needed to talk and came home with me. That's when she explained this was all intentional. She said she needed to show me what life would be like without her and make me appreciate everything she does around the house. I was floored. I asked her why she couldn't have just talked to me if she felt unappreciated. She said she tried, but I was a lot of her. She said she tried,

I never listened and this was the only way to get through to me. She said she needed me to understand how much work she does and how I take it for granted. The thing is, I do appreciate what she does. Yeah, she handles most of the housework, but I work 50 plus hours a week to support us both. I thought that was our arrangement. When I get home, I usually do dishes or laundry if she asks. I've never complained about her not working or made her feel bad about it. I'm trying to understand her perspective, but making me think she was dead or kidnapped for four days seems extreme. The missing person report is embarrassing. I'll have to call and tell them she's fine.

I missed three days of work. I barely slept. She says if I put as much effort into our home as I do into panicking about her disappearance, we wouldn't have this problem. But I don't know what more she wants from me. I'm not a slob. I clean up after myself. I do yard work and home repairs. Am I missing something here? Is this normal? I love my wife, but I'm having trouble getting past the fact that she let me suffer for days thinking something terrible happened to her just to prove a point about chores. Comment 1. This is emotional abuse. Full stop. Making someone think you're dead to prove a point about housework is manipulative and cruel.

The fact that she planned this out and watched you suffer shows a disturbing lack of empathy. You need to seriously reconsider this relationship. What's next? Fake pregnancy scares to get attention. I'll reply, I appreciate the perspective, though I'm not ready to jump to calling it abuse just yet. I think she genuinely felt unheard and maybe didn't think through how this would affect me. She's not usually manipulative, this was completely out of character for her, which is part of why I'm so confused. Comment two, dude, I hate to break it to you, but this sounds like she's been talking to some

toxic people who put this idea in her head. Normal people don't just randomly decide to psychologically torture their spouses. Someone convinced her this was a good idea. You need to find out who and what other advice they've been giving her. Op reply, you might be onto something there. Now that I think about it, she has been spending a lot more time with Claudia and her friend group lately. Claudia got divorced about a year ago and has been pretty bitter about it.

There's also Janice, who went through a messy divorce two years ago, and Rumi who's currently separated. My wife started hanging out with them more regularly about six months ago. At first I was happy she was making friends and getting out of the house more. But I have noticed she's been more critical of me lately, bringing up things that never bothered her before. Little comments about how I load the dishwasher or how I fold laundry. When I asked her whose idea this disappearing act was, she got defensive and said it was her decision. But the way she phrased some things when explaining it, it sounded like she was repeating talking points

rather than expressing her own feelings. Especially the part about making me appreciate what life would be like without her. That doesn't sound like something my wife would normally say. Claudia was definitely uncomfortable when I showed up at her door. And when my wife came home with me, Claudia had this look like she wanted to say something but held back. I'm wondering if she knew this was a bad idea but went along with it anyway. It's frustrating because I can't exactly demand she stop being friends with these women, but if they're encouraging this kind of behavior, it's a problem. I just don't know how to address it without sounding controlling.

Comment 3. What exactly does she do around the house? You mentioned she handles most of the housework, but what does that actually look like? Are we talking basic cleaning or is she doing everything while you do the bare minimum? I'll reply, fair question, and I've been thinking about this a lot since it happened. Here's the breakdown as honestly as I can give it. She does the majority of day-to-day cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, bathroom cleaning, making the bed. She does most of the laundry, though I'll throw in a load if she asks or if I need something specific clean. She handles grocery shopping and meal planning, cooks dinner most nights. She manages our social calendar and remembers birthdays, anniversaries, that kind of thing. I handle all the outdoor

work, mowing, landscaping, snow removal, maintaining our pool. I do all the home repairs and maintenance, car maintenance, and manage our finances and investments. I usually do the dishes after dinner and clean up the kitchen. I take out the trash and recycling. When she deep cleans, I help with the heavy lifting and moving furniture. Weekends I usually do a bigger cleaning task, clean the garage, organize the basement, wash the cars, that sort of thing. If she asks me to do something specific, I do it. I don't think I've ever said no to helping with housework.

The thing is, our house isn't huge and it's just the two of us. Yes, she does more of the daily maintenance, but I'm working 50 plus hours a week. When I get home, I'm tired, but I still help with dinner clean up and do whatever she asks. I thought that was reasonable. Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe she feels like she's doing more than her share. But instead of talking to me about it, she chose to disappear for four days. That's what I can't wrap my head around.

If she'd said I need you to do more around the house, I would have listened. We could have worked out a better system. I'm starting to think this wasn't really about housework at all. Maybe that was just the excuse. Update, thanks to everyone who commented. I wasn't expecting this to blow up the way it did, but reading your responses helped me realize this situation was more serious than I initially thought. After my first post, I decided to have a real conversation with my wife about what happened.

I waited a few days for both of us to cool down, then sat her down and explained how her disappearing act affected me. She was more receptive than I expected. She actually apologized and said she hadn't thought about it from my perspective. That's when I asked directly if her friends had suggested this plan. At first, she tried to deflect, but eventually she came clean. It was Claudia's idea, with backing from Janice and Rumi. They called it a power move that would wake me up to how much I depend on her. Apparently they've been building up to this for months. They convinced her that I was taking advantage of her, that she was basically my unpaid maid and cook. They told her that her being a stay-at-home wife was 1950s bullshit and that I was probably cheating on her. I was,

while she wasted her life doing my laundry. The cheating accusation hit me hard because it's completely false. I asked her if she actually believed that and she said no, but her friends had planted enough doubt that she started wondering. They told her that all men cheat, especially when their wives are available at home instead of being independent. They apparently spent weeks planning this. Claudia offered her place to stay.

Janice coached her on what to pack to make it look like she'd left voluntarily. Rooney told her to turn off her phone so I couldn't track her location. They even had a group chat about it, planning out the timeline and discussing my likely reactions. The part that really got to me was when she admitted they were all excited to see how I'd respond. Like this was entertainment for them. They wanted to see if I'd just shrug it off, proving I didn't care, or panic, proving I couldn't function without her. Either way, they'd have ammunition to use against me. I asked her how she felt about being used as a pawn in their games, and that seemed to hit home. She got quiet and said she hadn't thought of it that way. She said they made it

sound like they were looking out for her best interests. Here's where it gets worse, though. When I asked if she was going to cut contact with them, she hesitated. She said they were her friends and she couldn't just throw away those relationships. She said she talked to them about how this went too far, but she wasn't willing to stop being friends with them. I told her that was a problem for me. These women convinced her to psychologically torture me for four days as some kind of test. They're clearly toxic and seem to want our marriage to fail. If she's not willing to distance herself from people who actively sabotage our relationship, then we have a bigger issue. She got defensive and said I was trying to control who she could be friends with. She said just because

their advice was bad this time didn't mean they were bad people. She claimed they were just looking out for her because they'd all been through divorces and didn't want her to end up in a bad situation. I pointed out that maybe three divorced women weren't the best people to get marriage advice from, and that really set her off. She said I was being judgmental and that her friend's relationships failing didn't invalidate their perspectives. We went around in circles for hours. She kept insisting she could maintain the friendship. while ignoring their bad advice, but I don't see how that's possible. These women actively dislike me and want her to leave me.

They're not going to stop trying to poison her against me just because this particular scheme backfired. The final straw was when she said I was overreacting and needed to get over it because she was home safe and had apologized. She said holding a grudge would just prove her friends were right about me being controlling and unreasonable. I realized then that she still doesn't fully understand. understand what she did or why it was wrong. She's sorry I was hurt, but she's not sorry she did it.

In her mind, the problem is my reaction, not her actions. I packed a bag and went to stay at my brother's place. I told her I needed space to think and that until she was willing to cut ties with the people who convinced her to torment me, I couldn't trust her judgment. She cried and begged me to stay, but I left anyway. I've been here three days now. She's been texting constantly, alternating between apologies and accusations that I'm abandoning our marriage over one mistake. She says her friends are telling her this proves they were right about me not really loving her. My brother and his wife have been great. They're letting me stay as long as I need and have been good sounding boards.

My sister-in-law especially has been helpful. She said if her friends ever convinced her to do something like this to my brother, she dropped them immediately because real friends don't. encourage you to hurt the people you love. I don't know what happens next. I love my wife, but I'm starting to think love isn't enough if she's going to let other people manipulate her into hurting me. I never thought I'd be considering divorce, but here we are. Comment 1, your wife is showing you who she really is. She orchestrated psychological abuse against you with her friends and when confronted, she's more concerned about maintaining those friendships than repairing the damage to your marriage.

The fact that she's now using their validation to justify her actions prove she's not going to change. Op reply, this is what keeps me up at night. The woman I married would never have done something like this. But maybe I didn't know her as well as I thought I did. What bothers me most is how quickly she was influenced by these women. We've been together for eight years, married for six. In that time, I thought we build trust and communication.

But it took her new friends just a few months to convince her I was some kind of villain taking advantage of her. The group chat thing really gets to me. Knowing they were all sitting around planning how to mess with my head, discussing my reactions like I was some kind of lab wrath. And my wife was right there participating in it. She helped plan something designed to cause me maximum emotional distress. When she tells me her friends are saying my leaving proves they were right, it shows she's still more invested in their approval than in our marriage. She's not evaluating their advice critically,

she's just absorbing whatever they tell her and treating it as truth. I keep thinking about what my sister-in-law said. Real friends don't encourage you to hurt people you love. These women don't want my wife to be happy in her marriage. They want her to be as miserable and divorced as they are. And the fact that she can't see that, or doesn't want to see it, tells me everything I need to know about where her priorities lie. Comment two, have you considered marriage counseling? It sounds like your wife has been love-bombed by these toxic friends and might need professional help to recognize the manipulation.

Some people are just more susceptible to this kind of influence, especially if they're isolated or insecure. I'll reply, I actually brought up counseling during one of our conversations, and her response was telling. She said she didn't want to go to therapy because therapists would just take my side since I'm the one paying for it. When I pointed out that's not how therapy works, she said her friends told her that couples counselors are biased toward keeping marriages together even when they should end. This is exactly what I'm talking about. These women have an answer for everything, and they've convinced her that any outside perspective that doesn't align with theirs is suspect. They've created this insular echo chamber where only their opinions matter. You're right

that she might be more susceptible to this kind of manipulation. She's always been a people pleaser who wants to be liked. When she stopped working, she lost a lot of her social connections and probably felt isolated. These women came along and made her feel special, like she was part of some sisterhood. The love bombing aspect is spot on. They shower her with attention and validation, but only when she's complaining about me or our marriage. When she says positive things about our relationship, they change the subject or find ways to twist it into something negative. I'm not opposed to counseling, but I don't think she participate in good faith right now. She'd go in with the predetermined belief that the therapist is biased and used that to dismiss anything

that challenges her friend's narrative. For counseling to work, both people have to be open to the possibility that they're wrong about something. Right now, she's convinced that I'm the problem and her friends are the solution. Until that changes, I don't see how therapy would help. Update 2, I thought this situation couldn't get worse. I was wrong. My sister-in-law came to me yesterday with something she'd found online. She was hesitant to show me, but said, I said I needed to know. She'd been doing some digging on social media after I told her about my wife's friends, trying to get a better sense of who these women were. She found Claudia's TikTok account. There was a video posted five days ago, right after I left to stay at my brother's

house. The video was filmed in what looked like my living room, showing me having a complete breakdown on Friday morning before I filed the missing person report. I was on the phone with the police, crying, describing my wife and begging them to help me find her. The camera caught me at my lowest moment. It had over 40,000 views and hundreds of comments mocking me. People calling me pathetic, saying I deserved it, joking about how I was probably useless without someone to cook and clean for me. Some comments were even worse, women saying they wanted to try this with their own husbands, asking for tips on how to pull it off. The worst part, There were multiple cameras.

Claudia had posted a follow-up video showing different angles of the same breakdown, plus footage of me frantically searching the house and calling hospitals. They'd turned my genuine terror into entertainment for strangers on the internet. I was shaking when my sister-in-law showed me. The violation of privacy was bad enough, but knowing these women were gleefully filming my worst moments while my wife was hiding out at Claudia's house. I can't even describe how that felt. My sister-in-law helped me screenshot everything before reporting the videos.

The cameras were probably still in my house. Small, wireless ones hidden in picture frames and decorative objects. They'd been recording me for who knows how long. I drove back to the house to confront my wife. When I showed her the screenshots and the hidden cameras, she went white. She kept saying I didn't know, I didn't know over and over. She claimed she had no idea they were filming me and definitely didn't know they'd posted anything online. I wanted to believe her, but the cameras had been in place for weeks.

There's no way she didn't notice them setting this up. When I pressed her on it, she admitted she knew about some cameras but thought they were just for security. She said Claudia told her they were worried about me becoming violent when I found out about the plan. That made me see red. Not only had they filmed my breakdown, they'd also painted me as potentially dangerous to justify their surveillance. They were covering all their bases, making sure they had evidence of my reaction no matter what I did. My wife broke down when she realized the full scope of what her friends had done. She said she felt sick and betrayed. She called Claudia immediately and started screaming

at her about the videos. From what I could hear, Claudia was laughing and telling her, to lighten up because it was just for fun. That's when my wife finally snapped. She told Claudia she was a sick, twisted person and that she never wanted to see her again. She hung up and immediately blocked all three women on everything. But the damage was done. Those videos were out there, being shared and commented on by thousands of strangers. Even though they got taken down after reports, people had already downloaded and reposted them. My humiliation was permanent. We spent hours talking that night.

My wife was horrified by what she participated in, even unknowingly. She kept apologizing and saying she felt manipulated and used. She realized her friends hadn't been trying to help her, they've been using our marriage as content for their social media drama. She begged me to come home and try to work things out. She promised she was done with those toxic people and wanted to rebuild our trust. She offered to go to marriage counseling, individual therapy, whatever it took. I told her I needed time to process everything. The camera footage meant they'd been violating our privacy for weeks or maybe months.

She also moved out and has been staying at her mom's house for emotional support since then, giving me space to think. Her mom called me yesterday to apologize on her daughter's behalf and said she was appalled when she heard what happened. Apparently my wife has been crying non-stop and genuinely seems to understand how badly she messed up. Part of me wants to believe this wake-up call will fix things. She did cut off the toxic friends when she saw how far they'd gone. She does seem genuinely remorseful now that she understands the full scope of their manipulation. But another part of me can't get past what happened.

Those videos will probably follow me forever. My worst moment is now entertainment for strangers who think my pain is funny. And it happened because my wife trusted people who hated me more than she trusted her own husband. I love her, but I don't know if love is enough to get past this level of betrayal. Even if she was manipulated, she still chose to participate. She still let them put cameras in our house. She still disappeared for four days while they filmed my breakdown. My brother thinks I should run and never look back. My sister-in-law thinks people can change if they genuinely want to.

I honestly don't know what to think anymore. Comment 1, those cameras mean this was premeditated and went on for much longer than just the disappearing act. They were building a case against you for weeks or months, probably planning to use the footage in divorce proceedings or for more social media content. Your wife had to know. This level of violation isn't something you accidentally participate in. Op reply, you're absolutely right about the premeditation, and it's something that's been eating at me since I found the cameras. We're not talking about one or two devices quickly hidden before she left, these were professionally placed in multiple rooms, disguised as household objects, positioned for angles. That takes planning and multiple visits to set up.

Comment two, your wife blocking them now is two. little, too late. She only cut contact after getting caught in something she couldn't deny or justify. If those videos hadn't been found, she'd probably still be friends with them and planning the next power move. Don't let her play the victim here, she was a willing participant until the consequences got too real. I'll reply, this is exactly what I keep coming back to. The timing of her change of heart is too convenient to ignore. She didn't have a moral awakening, She had a oh shit, I got caught moment. When I first left from my brother's house,

she was still defending these women and insisting she could maintain the friendships while ignoring their bad advice. She was more upset about me overreacting than about what she'd actually done. It was only when she saw herself as part of something publicly humiliating that she suddenly understood how wrong it was. I've been thinking about what would have happened if my sister-in-law hadn't found those videos. Would my wife have eventually come to her senses on her own? Would she have told me about the cameras?

Or would she have kept that secret while her friends planned their next move? The evidence suggests she would have continued down this path. She was already defending them after I left. She was already incorporating their talking points into our arguments. Her cutting contact now feels reactive rather than reflective. She's not blocking them because she finally understands they're toxic, she's blocking them because they got her in trouble. There's a big difference between I realize my friends are harmful to my marriage and I realize my friends made me look bad publicly. I also can't ignore that she's been lying about her level of involvement this whole time.

First she claimed it was all her idea, then she admitted they suggested it, then she admitted they planned it together, and now I find out they've been recording me for weeks. Each revelation has been worse than the last, and I'm not convinced I have the whole truth even now. If someone only does the right thing when they're caught doing wrong, what does that say about their character? Comment 3. Document everything you can about those cameras and videos before considering any reconciliation. This could be relevant for divorce proceedings if it comes to that, and you need to protect yourself legally. Also consider pressing charges. What they did was almost certainly illegal. I'll reply, you're absolutely right, and it's something I should have thought of immediately but was too emotionally overwhelmed to consider. I've been so focused on the personal betrayal

that I haven't fully processed the legal implications of what happened. I contacted a lawyer yesterday after reading your comment and several others like it. Turns out what they did violates multiple laws, wiretapping statutes, privacy laws, possibly revenge porn laws depending on what else they recorded. The fact that they posted the videos publicly makes it worse from a legal standpoint. The lawyer advised me to preserve all evidence, screenshots of the videos before they were taken down, photos of the camera locations, documentation of when they were installed. My sister-in-law had the foresight to save everything she found, which is incredibly helpful. I'm also discovering that other people downloaded and saved the videos before TikTok removed them. The lawyer says

this could be relevant for damages if we pursue civil action. Apparently the fact that my humiliation was monetized, TikTok pays creators for viral content, adds another dimension to the case. The criminal aspect is complicated because it involves multiple jurisdictions and the cameras were technically placed with my wife's permission in her own home. But the lawyer thinks there's definitely a case for invasion of privacy and possibly conspiracy charges given the coordinated nature of the plan. I'm documenting everything for now and keeping my options open. Whether I pursue criminal charges or civil action will depend partly on what happens with my marriage and partly on whether these women face any natural consequences for their behavior.

Final update, this is my final update. I'm filing for divorce. After my last post, I decided to give my wife one more chance to come completely clean about everything that happened. I told her I needed the full truth, no more lies, no more I didn't know excuses. If we were going to have any hope of rebuilding, I needed to understand exactly what she'd done and when. She agreed to tell me everything, and what I learned made my decision easy. The cameras weren't just installed six weeks before she disappeared, they'd been there for four months. She helped Claudia and the others plan their locations. My wife admitted she knew about all of it. She said she went along with it because her friends convinced her I was probably hiding things from her anyway,

so this was just leveling the playing field. When I asked her why she was telling me all this now, she said she hoped full honesty would prove she was serious about changing. This wasn't a mistake or poor judgment or even toxic friends leading her astray. This was a month's long conspiracy to psychologically torture me and destroy our marriage, with my wife as an active and willing participant. The woman I married wouldn't have done this. But maybe the woman I married never really existed.

I met with a divorce attorney yesterday. Given the evidence we have, he's confident we can get everything resolved quickly and favorably. My wife's actions constitute marital misconduct in our state, which affects property division and spousal support. We're also moving forward with criminal charges against Claudia and the others. The DA is interested in the case because of the social social. social media component and the potential for this to inspire copycat behavior. My wife won't be charged since she's cooperating fully with the investigation.

I've moved out of our house permanently, we didn't have a pre-nup, so 50 to 50 it is, also can't stand being in a place where I was recorded and violated for months. My brother's helping me find an apartment, and work has been understanding about everything. My wife is devastated, but I'm done feeling sorry for her. She made her choices every day for four months. Some people have asked if I think she can change or if I'm giving up too easily. Here's what I know. Someone who can spend months planning to psychologically torture their spouse is not someone I want to be married to.

Even if she could change, I'll never be able to trust her again. How do you come back from something like this? I'm focusing on moving forward now. The legal stuff will sort itself out. To everyone who supported me through this, thank you. Your comments helped me see the situation clearly when I was too close to understand how bad it really was.