Reddit Stories - SPOUSE was UNFAITHFUL with his former spouse in my SLEEPING area as I

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #infidelity #betrayal #relationships #marriage #trustissues A person discovers their spouse was unfaithful with their former partner in their shared sleeping area. This revelation leads to feelings of betrayal and heartbreak, prompting a deep reflection on trust and the future of their relationship. The emotional turmoil raises questions about forgiveness and moving forward. redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, infidelity, betrayal, relationships, marriage, trustissues, heartbreak, emotionalturmoil, spouse, formerpartner, sleepingarea, love, commitment, communication, healing, futureBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse was unfaithful with his former spouse in my sleeping area as I was attempting to conceive. His children declined to vacate my residence, and their mother persisted in intruding to enjoy amusement. Family My husband, 40M, and I 34F have been married for four years I came into my stepdaughters, 16F, life when she was 10. Both her and my stepson, now 12M, were somewhat neglected and had behavior issues when I met them.

My husband and his ex aren't bad parents, but he travels a lot for work and she is a bit flighty and self-indulgent. My SD and I hit it off real well and I love both my stepkids. We all co-parented well, with me taking on a more active role in their school and other stuff. Both husband and his ex-wife were satisfied with me doing the grunt work for kids. They both travel a lot and I became the sole parent who was fully engaged. I own a three-bedroom house I had inherited from my parents, and husband and kids moved in to live with me. Kids love their rooms in our home and their lives in our town.

The custody arrangement they have on paper is 50 to 50 but their mom doesn't have as much space as I do, so the kids are here almost full-time. A few months ago, I came back from an overnight school field trip with my stepson to a very distraught SD. She found her parents together in my bedroom and was upset about the cheating. I was devastated to hear this from her. After some sleuthing I found out that their affair had been going on for months and possibly a whole year. I've been trying to get pregnant for the past two years and we were having very frequent sex

and realizing that my husband was sleeping with us back to back was especially nauseating for me. I have filed for divorce and asked him to leave. He doesn't want this marriage to end and seems somehow convinced that I'll change my mind. But he agreed to a separation and has moved out to an apartment. My SD was mad at both her parents and wants to continue living with me. Neither of them are taking any steps to move out the kids who are still living in their rooms and living their lives as if this family hasn't imploded. I'd have been happy with having the kids with me, but my problem is that both my husband

and kids' mom feel at liberty to come into my house whenever they feel like it because their kids are here. She feels no guilt about the cheating and acts as if I am the interloper. She treats me like I am their nanny expecting me to continue taking care of things for kids and leaving me with instructions and criticisms. Meanwhile, my ex frequently drops by under the guise of seeing the kids but keeps trying to cajole me into letting him move back. I love my SD and I don't want to do anything to hurt her further, but I can't take living like this. The amount of hurt and anger I feel towards my husband and his ex-wife is too much and it's

painful to have to keep dealing with them. The absolute cheek of them to treat me like this is making my head explode. But I don't know what to do about the kids. Everyone in my life is expecting me to suck it up and do what's best for the kids. I love them but this is becoming unbearable. Update 1. I am posting the update here because I'd like some support and suggestions and you have been so helpful in the last post. I read all the comments but things blew up in my face soon after and I was offline for a while. Following the advice given, I talked with different lawyers to see what I could do to win this situation. What I found out wasn't very promising and the lawyer retainer fee for a custody fight is too high. With the separation my money situation is

pretty tight and I couldn't afford to chase this issue legally. I've been stressed and working late these days. The day after I made the post I was going to be late home and had asked SD to reheat the frozen lasagna I had made for dinner. When I arrived home, it was to both the kids having a meal with the ex and their mom, I'll call her M. M. had decided to turn it into a family dinner and set out the food I made, on my formal dining table, with my nice dishes. She had created a pretty family moment with her and ex under my roof. I completely lost it at that point. I regret to say I behaved abominably, screaming at her and my ex and told them to get the hell out of my house. This happened in front

of SS who was pretty shocked. So far I had kept him out of most of this mess. After my breakdown I needed some time away, so I drove out to spend the weekend with my cousin. S.D. wanted to come with me and we left S.S. with his dad. S.D. was so sweet to me and very understanding of why I was upset. She hadn't invited her parents, her mom had shown up and then she invited X for dinner. S.D. hadn't anticipated that I'd get this upset. Frankly, I am surprised too that I blew up like that. That's not the typical me. After we got back I let M know that she shouldn't come over anymore and if she did then I'll report her for trespassing. M didn't believe me and showed up to talk and I lost it at her and this

time I did call the cops. They nicely asked her to leave and she did. S.S. was very upset at me for this. M showed up again the next day acting all sweet and telling me that I am being unreasonable. Unfortunately, I became pretty unhinged at this and swore and yelled at her. S.S. shoved me and screamed at me to shut up. I fell on my butt and was shocked into silence. M was pretty surprised too and left immediately, whereas S.S. ran and locked himself in his room. He called his dad to come get him, but he was out of town and M ignored his calls. SS is a very loving kid so his reaction was very heartbreaking. I understand where he is coming from, though. M is his mother after all.

M is also a very pretty person who comes across as very sweet and delicate. She's the type of woman people jump to help. It is natural that SS would feel protective of her. I hadn't expected that he'd turn on me though. The rest of the week was bad with SS angry at me and refusing to talk to me. When his dad got back in town he came and got him. SS told him he didn't want to live with me anymore. A few days later X wanted me to take back SS, but the kid didn't

want to come back. I told X I will not force him and X got pretty mad at me. He wanted me to fix the situation somehow. When I refused to make SS stay with me, X became pretty mean. He said a lot of ugly things, the worst being that he's relieved I didn't get pregnant because I'd make an awful mother. I was afraid of things turning out this way, but I've got X and M out of my house and that is a relief. S.D. is going to live with me till she moves out to college. X. Is is struggling to find childcare for SS and is so angry at me that I think he'll not slow down the divorce anymore. I want to fix this with SS, but a big selfish part of me is afraid to do anything that'll bring his parents back in my life. I really don't understand M's actions

and motivations in all this. She wanted to sleep with X and I had walked out of the picture and it was all hers. If she wanted her kids, it wasn't like there was anything I could do about that. If she didn't want her kids, I was already taking care of them. But she'd keep violating my boundaries with a smile on her face and be all surprised that I am not happy about this. Right now, neither her nor ex want to be the daily parent to SS, but he is angry at me enough that he doesn't want to chose me. I feel so crushed about that. Update 2. Nothing of consequence has happened on the legal front since my last post. Emotionally, it has been a lot of ups and downs. A lot of people messaged me suggesting that I should let SD go and it's not healthy to have

her staying with me. That may be so on paper, but it's not something I want to do. I met X a few years after my parents' death. I was very close to them and they passed away one after the other. I suffered from a lot of depression from grieving. My boyfriend at that time dumped me and I lost a lot of friends. When we started dating, I was coming out of my sadness but was still very lonely. S.D. and I became each other supports very quickly. She felt neglected by her parents and had resentment towards them and I suppose she loved the attention I gave her. I found her to be a loving kid and I liked bonding with her. S.S. and I were close too. While he loved his mom, I did kind of assume that he was closer to me. One of the resentments that S.D. held against her parents was that they were

uninterested and dismissive of her extracurriculars that led to her failing in some activities she was very passionate about. She's into a sport I was familiar with and I spend a lot of time training with her and taking her to her events and classes. She is very good at it now and it's going to be a source of scholarships for her and possibly get her into the college she is interested in. She is hardworking and ambitious and I want to support her as much as I can. She has promised to keep her parents out of our home and I hope she sticks with that till she leaves for college. X has been very angry and ranting at me in messages. I have stopped answering his calls and I don't reply to his emails.

I've told him the only subject I'll discuss with him is divorce and only through my lawyer. So he's been bad-mouthing me to a lot of our mutual acquaintances. A couple of people have gently chided me for abandoning SS. One went so far as to say that women who become step-moms should know what they are signing up for, and a real mother wouldn't leave her children. I am not good with conflict and haven't been able to respond properly. I've pretty much isolated myself from people so I don't have to listen to comments like these. M is still blocked by me and she hasn't made any more efforts to communicate with me and that is a huge relief.

A week after the last post, Sil came down to see me. She lives three hours away so I was pretty apprehensive that she was going to drive down all the way over here to talk to me. I asked to meet in a restaurant and she agreed. I was also worried about talking to her because while she's been polite and nice with me, she was and still is M's friend. She told me X had urged her to talk to me about SS and she completely disagrees with him about that. She said I've been a great stepmom to SS, but he's not my responsibility. X was honest with her about his affair and she supports me getting divorced. She said a lot of supportive things to me about moving on and looking after myself and also thanked me for taking care of S.D. still. That was nice, but then she went on to

add that she wasn't surprised by the affair at all. She was surprised that X married me. She was like you should have seen this coming. Though she didn't come out and say it, the insinuation was that M is so much better than me, she's prettier, more successful, more charming an ex would jump on the chance to be with her. That was just great to hear, Peachy. Though it's easy for me to accept now that I am not the smart one here because I didn't see it coming at all. I was happy and in love with my family. The upside to that meeting is that X has stopped harassing me. I haven't heard anything from him since and I think he has stopped talking about me to others too.

I don't have anything on SS yet, though SD told me he's all right and waiting for summer vacation to start. A few of you said that M might have been interested in taking my house. I don't think so. She does all right by herself and has a good career. She has a rather spendy lifestyle and lives in a very fancy two-bedroom apartment in the city. while my house is in a child-friendly but stayed suburb. I hope things continue to be quite because I need to get my head straight and focus on work where I may get fired. And my job is the one thing going for me right now. Update 3, we had a court date and the judge ordered mediation and put this

off for a few more months. I was hoping this would be a wrap-up, after all we don't have kids together and I want nothing from X. I didn't bring up custody for SD or SS and he didn't either. All I want is a divorce and to walk away with what I brought in, my house and my car. X isn't fighting for those, but he's still saying he doesn't want a divorce. W-T-H man. He's left me two messages asking to talk. I've ignored him. The mediation will be over Zoom, which to me sounds more comfortable than in-person meeting.

S.D. and I are doing well living together. M is silent. Nothing from SS so far. Update 4. I am divorced. Papers are signed, Judge has signed off, it's done. I am so relieved. I was scared that this would drag on for longer. The first mediation meeting was a shit show with X trying to talk at me that we should go through marriage counseling.

The mediator was a very firm woman who kept the conversations in control, though. We had a couple more mediation emails and he agreed to sign off. I was still nervous about how it'd go today. but X played nice and signed off on everything. A very nice surprise was that he voluntarily gave me our entire joint savings account. I was not expecting that. I had asked for half of it though in reality he has put more in it than I did. I'd have been okay with taking just my portion, but he surprised me by giving me all the money.

It was our emergency savings, so not a rich amount but a nice high five figure number. I am so relieved about it. Money had become tight with lawyer fees and changes and this helps. Emotionally also it made me feel better about myself. I may be wrong but my heart wants to read this as his acknowledging that he screwed me over and I deserve something back. Update 5. Okay, not really an update. More like a vent. I can write things down here that I can't talk about in real life.

I am making a big show of being happy and social and carefree to people in real life. but honestly I am so damn miserable and sad. The first couple months I soldiered on out of pure spite and determination to remake myself, but it's devolving into sadness. I have been avoiding hearing anything about X or M, but S.D. has been having some issues and she vented to me how mad she's at her parents, mom mostly. X and M didn't last long.

They were having fights and issues well before my divorce finalized. M immediately started dating someone else and from what I hear she's happy in this current relationship and is so into it she hasn't even met either of her kids in the past two months. Only video calls. X had to juggle a lot of things to adjust his work schedule and get dependable child care for stepson. He's dating two now, a much younger woman. X and M used to co-parent well, but I guess I was the one really doing that because right now

they hate each other and hardly ever talk. One would think that it'd make me happy, seeing them fall apart from each other, but it's only making me more angry. My life was ruined, the kid's happy home was destroyed and for what? I miss my old life so much. A lot of it was a lie, but I was so happy and full of purpose then. I am just feeling lost right now. I have tried dating and have been on a lot of dates, but they have all been bad or wrong. People around me have been setting me up with divorced dads and no offense to them but I can't do that again. I actually had one date which felt more like an interview for a nanny role. It made me so depressed. S.D. is doing great though, and that brings

me a lot of joy. I am little scared of the time, soon, when she'll move out and it'll be just me in this big house. I've talked to SS on the phone a couple of times. That boy has grown up and changed so much it feels like we were separated for years. He's going to come for a sleepover during the Halloween weekend and I am pretty excited about that. S.D. was going to babysit him at Exist. his place while he travels, but I owe Kate having him with us since it's Halloween. Update 6. I don't know if anybody will see this update after all this time, but I had left this at a sad note a couple years ago and that doesn't feel right.

I had stepped away from Reddit because I was getting quite a bit of negative messages. Some people making fun of me and calling me names. Most of you have been so amazing and helpful, but a few mean messages still got to me. My life has been good since then. I had stopped dating and gave up on online apps. I did well with making a few friends and staying busy with having an active life, a good career and hobbies. Eventually, I met my current partner on a hiking trip. My daughter has been a constant ray of sunshine in my life and we are very close.

She introduces me to people as her adopted mom, L-O-L, and I don't refer to her as step. She is doing great at college, she's growing into an awesome person and my home is her. her home when she visits from school. Things are a bit more complicated with my former stepson. He has been upfront that he doesn't want me as a parental figure in his life and is not interested in being close to me. I respect that. I still stay in touch with him, but as a distant friend. We exchange jokes and sometimes we three get together for dinner. He is in therapy for depression and anger issues so I don't want to let go of him completely. Regarding the guy I am with now, the best romantic relationship of my life and I am very happy. I am pregnant now, second trimester,

and we are both excited. The pregnancy was unexpected but I am thrilled about it. I was trying so hard to get pregnant in my previous marriage and all that trying and medical interventions didn't help and now I am pregnant despite condoms. The relationship is still new and I am treading carefully. One of the best parts is that his family is amazing. His parents are very sweet and accepting people who already treat my daughter as their grandchild and are very excited about the baby. Next story, perfect fiancé admitted he slept with over 30 married women in his 20s. He says it taught him how to be a better partner and claims 90% of women would cheat and feels no guilt about it. Hi everyone, I'm feeling really confused and conflicted right now and

could use some advice. My fiancé, both in our early 30s, has always seemed like the perfect guy. He's attentive, emotionally intelligent, and just, gets me. I've always felt so lucky to be with him, but recently, I stumbled upon something that has shaken me to my core. We were having a deep conversation about our pasts, and the topic of past relationships came up. He admitted that in his twenties, he used to regularly sleep with married women. His reasoning?

They wanted it, and I never pursued women who were in happy marriages. According to him, most of these women approached him, and he claimed that 90% of married women are willing to cheat if the opportunity presents itself. When I asked why he thought that, he told me it was based on his experience. He said some of these women cheated with him for extended periods before he got bored and ended it. It made me feel sick just listening to him describe it so casually. But here's the kicker, he admitted that one reason he's such an amazing partner now is because, during those affairs, he kept a sort of mental list of all the things these women would complain about their husbands. He used that information to be better.

He even joked that his education came from hearing what not to do in relationships. When I pushed him on whether he felt any guilt or regret about helping destroy marriages, he brushed it off. He said these women were the ones who wanted to cheat, and he only gave them what they wanted. He even framed it like he was doing some kind of service, helping them realize their dissatisfaction. He insists that I changed him, that I'm the reason he wants to settle down and leave all that behind. But I can't shake the feeling that his past says something disturbing about his character. I know people grow and change, but I feel like I've been handed this big, ugly truth that I can't unsee. I don't even know what I'm asking here. How can I talk to him about my feelings?

Update, hi everyone, so I've received hundreds of messages over the past day. I've tried to answer as many as possible, but it was very difficult to answer all of you. Just know that I've read through every single comment sent to me. Many of you advised me that I should leave immediately due to different morals and ethics. Others said that my fiancé will eventually cheat on me so might as well leave him. Just to be clear, he has never cheated on me and I don't believe he will. There were many comments from men telling me they were like my fiancé and that they enjoyed the attention. They all said they'd changed and that you do stupid things at that age.

Now on to the update. I sat down with my fiancé last night and told him we needed to talk more about what he told me. We've always been open about each other's pasts and have zero jealousy. He knows about my ex-partners and even some one-night stands. We have a policy of only giving information when asked. and what started this whole conversation was me asking a question that led to this. I don't believe he hid this from me on purpose. It just never came up until now.

I asked him why he thought 90% of women cheat and he said it's just what he's noticed but admitted the number is probably inflated. The sector he worked in is very cutthroat and he thinks the type of sector he was in led to this happening a lot, he doesn't work there anymore. I asked him how he felt zero remorse on this. He said his policy is that regret is something that holds you back. He doesn't spare any thought on anything he's done in the past. He just believes in learning from experiences, that there are no bad experiences. He also said he is really

proud of the growth he's had since he did this and how it made him appreciate a lot of small things in our relationship that he wouldn't have had he done this. I also asked him about the women. Did he pursue them hard? He said no, not really, some he worked in, but a lot he met at bars after work hours or through conferences. He said many of them were out looking to cheat. He's had a lot of female friends who are in relationships that he never ever even flirted with because he could tell their relationships were strong.

I asked him how many exactly he slept with and he said he doesn't know but probably over 20 to 30. Mostly older than him and mostly one night stands but with a few of them it happened over a period of a year or so. I asked if any got divorced eventually or got found out. He said he never ever kept in touch with any of them or even stalk them so he genuinely doesn't know, but while he was involved, no one ever got found out. I asked him what kind of problems these women were facing.

Many of them felt neglected and were in long-distance relationships or marriages. Many of them had husbands who hadn't called them beautiful in years and many of them suspected their husbands were cheating on them. Overall, I still feel a bit weird about this, but I decided to give him a chance. He's never ever shown me anything but love and adoration. He's been a wonderful partner. He moved with me for a job. He supported me during very tough patches in my career.

He always buys me flowers and plans dates for me. My parents adore him and I adore his parents. I can't stop describing how amazing of a man he is. It will take me some time to get over this slight ick I had, but I think I understand more where he's coming from. He's also seen how miserable women who cheat are and said that he never. He never wants me or himself to find ourselves in a situation where this is the solution. He's a great communicator as a result and a few times where we got into arguments, he articulated his arguments to me perfectly and we got over things.

We will still get married and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.