Reddit Stories - Spouse's lady ACQUAINTANCE ATTEMPTED to take control of his COMMEMORATION event following his

Episode Date: August 1, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #drama #family #conflict #celebrationSummary: Spouse's lady acquaintance attempted to take control of his commemoration event following his.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, drama, family, conflict, celebration, spouse, lady, acquaintance, control, commemoration, event, following, attempted, redditdrama, relationshipadvice, socialdynamicsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse's lady acquaintance attempted to take control of his commemoration event following his passing, then asserted she was expecting a child with him and shared digitally altered images of them until she departed a mental breakdown. My husband, Jonah, passed away unexpectedly a month ago from a stroke. I don't want to get specific about that part, it's the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life, and I'm still not sure how I'm ever going to move on. We were married for five years, together for seven. The past two years we've been trying for a baby, but we're just getting to the point of considering IVF when he died.

Jonah had a close friend in high school named Marjorie. Marjorie also ended up going to the same university as he did, and they spent a lot of time together during those college years. Jonah said that he liked Marjorie's company, but never felt anything beyond friendship with her, which I totally believe. Jonah dated other women during that period, but told me that several times Marjorie hinted that she wanted him to ask her out. She also joked about wanting him to be her plan B in case she didn't meet someone and get married by 30. By the time I'd started dating Jonah, he had moved a couple hours away from his hometown, and Marjorie. Despite this, Marjorie immediately began finding excuses to come to our town and hang out, which usually involved her encouraging us to go drinking, and then her passing out on the couch at Jonah's apartment. I didn't mind her for the most part, but she had a habit of saying things like,

you know you ruined our marriage pact, ha, ha, and pointing out all the things that she knew about him, like what he took in his coffee, his favorite bands, etc. Over the course of our relationship, and especially after we got married, Jonah definitely put some distance into his relationship with Marjorie. He confided in me that he felt he had outgrown her and that they really had little in common anymore. He stopped responding to her invitations to hang out as often, though he would occasionally call to catch up out of guilt, especially when she would text him or leave messages saying she was so sad he was ignoring her and the like. But now he's gone. I had him cremated, like he wanted. We haven't done the memorial service yet, it was too hard for me to even imagine the first couple of weeks,

and I also wanted to give time for some out-of-state people to make travel plans. The memorial is this weekend. However, two weeks ago, I received an email from Marjorie, sent to around 60 people, including Jonah's family, saying that she was holding a memorial service for Jonah in the town where they grew up the day before his memorial here. I was completely blown away, seeing as she hadn't mentioned anything to me or even attempted to call. Along with the details, the email said that she was planning the memorial in light of the fact

that no other service had yet been held in his memory, and he deserved to be laid to rest with honor. For the record, she was invited to the memorial which I've been planning, and knew it was happening. I called her, of course, and told her that while I appreciated her willingness to help with Jonah's goodbye, I was already planning a service for him that would involve all of his family and friends. She immediately went on the defensive, and said that she had only started to plan a service when she realized I wasn't willing to do it in a timely manner. I told her that the timing wasn't her choice to make, but that if she wanted to have a memorial of some kind, to please

just add on the invitation that his official memorial was going to be held this weekend. She said fine. I sent a message to all of Jonah's invited friends slash family to make sure that they knew the real service with both of our families was going to be here, and then just washed my hands of the whole thing. This week I received a message on Facebook from Jonah's cousin, saying that Marjorie, who has apparently blocked me on Facebook, created an event for Jonah's official memorial service, her memorial, and invited everyone she possibly could. I've been getting blown up with emails asking which day the memorial is, and where. I'm honestly furious, I don't have the emotional energy to deal with this.

I ended up putting a post up on my wall, reiterating the date of his service here, and asking people to please share it. Thankfully, I think the older members of the family don't use Facebook or email very often, so most of them haven't been confused, but a lot of people now think that Marjorie's service is the real one. I called Marjorie again, asking her to add an addendum to her event saying that his actual memorial was going to be here. She told me that Jonah would have wanted it this way and that if I couldn't appreciate it

her efforts, I wasn't invited to say goodbye to Jonah. I told her that was fine, seeing as I'd already said goodbye to Jonah when I held him as he died. She hung up. Apparently she's now spreading information to her mutual friends with Jonah, saying that he was planning on leaving me because I wasn't able to conceive. She also said that we had approached her to carry a baby for us, all absolute lies. His cousin sent me a screenshot of a text where she said that Jonah always thought we would have the cutest baby together and that O.P. doesn't understand how much he wants children. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I don't care what she says about me, but she's now tarnishing my husband's memory, especially saying that he wanted to divorce. Jonah would never have left me, and anyone that knows him at all

knows that we were committed to each other above all else. I need to figure out how to tell this woman to fuck off without encouraging her to spread more lies. And I also want to just forget the whole thing and crawl in bed and never get up again. Help me, please. Update 1, I apologize for not updating sooner, but a lot happened the last couple of days. Thank you to everyone who offered help and advice. For those that offered monetary assistance, Jonah and I were in a stable position financially, I'm going to be comfortable until I decide to go back to work.

Your willingness to help was deeply appreciated, however, and I'm truly bowled over by your kindness. I took the advice of the majority of comments and called the chapel where Marjorie was planning her service. I spoke with the pastor, who immediately told me that he had been trying to get in touch with me regarding the service. Apparently both Jonah and Marjorie had grown up in that church, I am not religious, and neither was Jonah as an adult. My voicemail has been flooded, so it's definitely plausible that I overlooked his call. He immediately expressed how sorry he was to hear of Jonah's loss, and said he had received my contact info from Jonah's great aunt who still attends there.

He said he was surprised when Marjorie asked to have a service for Jonah, but she had claimed that Jonah and I were separated and I didn't want to be involved. He had been trying to follow up with me, but obviously that didn't happen. He was very apologetic and said that we could cancel the service, or move forward in any way that felt right to me. He said that he knew the church members would appreciate the service, since many of them remembered Jonah as a boy, but obviously Marjorie would no longer have a role.

I agreed that the service could go forward. He called to speak with Marjorie after our conversation, and informed her that she was no longer welcome to participate in the organization of the service after her behavior. He wouldn't tell me all that she said, but says she was distraught, and he recommended some mental health slash spiritual services to her that he hopes she accepts. She apparently apologized for lying and asked to speak with me, but I declined.

I feel bad if she's truly contrite, but I just have too much on my plate right now. We had two beautiful services for my husband, first the one at his hometown church, and then the non-religious one that I planned. Everyone that came wanted to honor Jonah, and that's all that really matters. I was told a dozen stories about him that I'd never heard before, and I laughed so hard I cried, then cried some more. My cousin was on the lookout for Marjorie, and I honestly didn't think about her the whole weekend. She turned up for the first service, and the pastor ended up speaking with her, unbeknownst to me.

My cousin says he was sympathetic but firm, and told her that her presence there would be inappropriate. Surprisingly, she left without fuss. I'm still not sure this situation is entirely resolved, but I got to lay my husband to rest in the way he deserved, and that's the most important thing to me right now. Thanks everyone for your support. Edit 1, I debated whether or not to even mention this, but this community has been so awesome I thought I might as well, I realized this weekend that I'd missed my period, and I'm usually like clockwork. It could just be stress, but I'm going to take a test later. Can't decide if I'm incredibly hopeful or absolutely terrified.

Edit 2, not pregnant. It was a long shot. Thanks for your support. Update 2, I thought I would update since it's been a few months. I haven't been checking my inbox, and I'm sort of amazed I remembered the password at all, but I appreciate all of you who sent encouraging messages. It means a great deal to me. It's been around five months since Jonah.

died, and honestly it still feels like I'm waking up and living the same day over and over again. I'm in therapy, but the feeling of grief has not subsided whatsoever. Everything reminds me of Jonah and I still feel like half of me is gone. I'm considering moving out of the country, or at least to a different state, but I also feel like a piece of Jonah is here in the house where we lived. Even worse, Marjorie has still not disappeared. I deleted my social media a couple of my months ago in an attempt to simplify my life, but my cousin, who also knows Marjorie, let me know that she has been recently posting photos of herself on Facebook, with Jonah.

Some were from several years ago, but she was saying things like I still miss my man every day and I can't wait until Jonah's baby arrives. She is apparently pregnant and claiming that the baby is my husband's. She has also photoshopped his face onto several photos, some on on another shirtless male posing semi-suggestively with her. The photoshopping is pretty good, but it's obviously not my husband's body. People have been saying things like congratulations, we know you'll be a great mother to Jonah's child, nobody I knew, thankfully. It honestly made me feel sick, and I went and laid in bed pretty much all day. I hate that she is getting to me like this, but I can't stand the thought that she's claiming my husband was unfaithful to me,

and that people are believing it. One bright note is Marjorie's brother, who also knew Jonah. On one of her recent posts, he commented, WTF Marjorie. I spoke to Jonah like two weeks before he died and he said he was trying for a baby with Op, you guys were just friends, this is fucked up and you know it. The post was deleted a couple of hours later. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have the energy to battle with this woman, but I'm infuriated.

and hurt by this blatantly disrespectful pack of lies that she's spreading. My cousin called her and asked that she removed the photos, but she apparently said that Op can go to hell, she just doesn't want to accept that Jonah wanted a baby with me more, and she couldn't give him one. I'm lost, guys. What can I do about this? It seems like all I can do is sit and watch this crazy woman

try to convince Jonah's friends and family that he never loved me. Update, I just spoke with Marjorie. Marjorie's brother, who called to tell me that Marjorie is not pregnant, but seems to truly believe that she is. He asked her how far along she is, and she said five months, but she is still completely flat. He isn't sure if she's lying, or she actually believes she's having a child with my husband. He asked her when they conceived, and she mentioned a date that he knew we had been on vacation. Update 3. A lot has happened since my last update.

Hopefully this will be the end of the story. Marjorie's brother became very concerned after speaking to me, and apparently questioned Marjorie extensively about her behavior. She continued to claim that she was pregnant with Jonah's baby, and that they had had a lengthy affair, but the details didn't add up. The brother knew Jonah pretty well, and was generally aware of his work schedule, etc. She said they were meeting at a hotel of lunchtime three days a week, but he knew that Jonah came home for lunch with me every day. Stuff like that. He went home late that night to sleep on it. After he went home, Marjorie came over to see me at 3 a.m. She started screaming at me to come outside, saying that I had ruined her relationship with Jonah, and how happy they were before me,

etc. I called the police and her brother, who both arrived around the same time. She pushed the police officer who tried to ask her what was going on, and was immediately arrested. I felt bad for her brother, but he just apologized to me repeatedly. Marjorie yelled expletives and tried to demand special treatment because the police were apparently hurting her baby by keeping her in the car. I gave a statement, and they left. Not exactly sure what happened after, but her brother says she is now under psychiatric evaluation, and is apparently struggling with a mental disorder that he wouldn't name.

She has apparently not taken her meds in two years. I didn't ask for details, but it seems she is going to get some help. I'm not pressing any sort of charges. Her brother also linked me to his post on social media, where he made it very clear that Marjorie has been having some difficulties, and absolutely none of what she said about Jonah is true. I'm glad this seems to be over, but I've decided I need a fresh start no matter what. I'm looking for a job out of state, and I'll be doing my best to leave my life with Jonah behind.

Thank you all for your help and encouragement. Next story, wife got offered a $400,000 job in California that would force our family to leave Ireland. But when I expressed concerns about moving, she suggested going alone and leaving me with our two young daughters. My M37, wife, F38, was recently offered a position at a major corporation in California. She's currently working as a chemical engineer in Dublin, earning a very competitive salary. The only catch, at least for my wife, is that there's little to no room for professional growth in her current job because she's already reached the highest position available in her department. A few months ago, she mentioned looking around for a new job as she was feeling

really burnt out with her present role. As her husband, of course I wholeheartedly supported her. She never really mentioned anything about US or that she was even applying to a position in California. Now, ever since she received her offer a few days ago, she's been really happy and excited about possibly moving there. Despite my concerns, I've been very supportive because I did not want her to think that I'm not happy for her. Because I am. But I really don't want to move to US. My wife and I are originally from the Philippines. We have two little girls who were born here in Ireland. The eldest will be starting primary school this year and I worry that if we ever move,

she will have a hard time adjusting to a completely different country. In addition, with the current political climate, I'm scared that she might be bullied for being an immigrant. Not that it can't happen here, but the chances of it happening in US is more likely. Our parents also frequently visits us here from the Philippines and they get to be present in our children's lives. But again, with its current political climate, if we move to US, it might be difficult for our parents to apply for a tourist visa and fly in to visit us. My wife is really happy and it fills me with joy seeing how excited she is especially after hearing her complain about how unfulfilling her current job is for months on end. But I honestly don't think moving our family

to the United States is the move. How do I tell her this without sounding like an unsupportive husband. Update, June 9, 2025. Hello everyone. Thank you so much for all the advice on my previous post. I made that post at the break of dawn and I think I was even half asleep so I apologize for the lack of details. I didn't expect it to receive so many comments and I can't reply to all of them so I'm making a separate post to answer some of the common questions plus give some updates. The company she will be working for is in Sunnyvale, Calais. Her estimated first-year package is close to half a million US dollars. They are offering to cover moving expenses for our family of four and once in California,

we will have temporary housing for 60 days. She will also be given a $30,000 sign on bonus. Both of these, the relocation assistance and sign on bonus is subject to a retention clause. I think she has to work for the company for at least 24 months, otherwise, she has to repay them. Her base salary is going to be $410,000. More than twice her current wage. Immigration-wise, the company will sponsor her H-1B visa and Perm slash Green Card sponsorship will be available after 24 months of employment. She will also have unlimited PTO and health insurance will be 100% covered by her employer. Lastly, they are also offering her RS use, vested for four years

and a 401k package. Currently, we earn just over 520,000 euros per year as engineers. I work remotely as a software engineer for a U.S.-based company, but that arrangement may be impacted if we relocate to the United States, since I likely won't be permitted to work under an H-4 visa. We also fully own a six-bedroom home in Dublin. Moving to California would mean going back to paying rent or taking on a mortgage again. We've also been to California several times before and my wife loves the fact that it's home to many Filipinos.

She says that she'd like for our kids to grow up around other Filipino kids. Plus, she's been away from the Philippines for so long. She did her Ph.D. in Singapore for five years and two years after that, we moved to Dublin. I think the idea of being around our own folks really makes the idea of moving to California more enticing. Anyway, I brought up my concerns to her today, and we've actually been discussing them since this morning. She seems genuinely intent on accepting the job. I asked her whether she's drawn to it because it truly excites her, or if she's just eager to escape her current role. As others mentioned in my previous post, what if we go through the stress of relocating to California,

only for her to end up hating this job too? I told her that if her main reason is just wanting to leave her current position, she can just quit. In fact, I've been encouraging her to quit her job ever since she told me how burnt out she was last year. I had even suggested that we take a month off back in the Philippines to reset and help her recover before job hunting again. Hell, she can take a year off from working for all I care. I don't mind at all. She's incredibly accomplished, with an impressive resume. I truly don't think she'd have much trouble finding something new and more fulfilling and is not in United States once she decides to work again.

The only answer she could give me regarding my question was an I don't know. We've run the numbers and she believes that it's doable, even on a single income. After reading all the comments on my previous post, I'm convinced that even with a $400,000 annual salary, we will not be able to maintain the same lifestyle as we have in Dublin. We travel often, and our eldest does a lot of activities over the year such as sports and musical lessons. We're also planning to send her to a private school. I'm scared that if we try to continue living the same way as we did in Ireland, we'd run through our savings fast if we go this route. Thankfully, after showing her the news and what's been going on in U.S. right now, plus the school shootings, she agreed that it might not be a good idea to go as a family.

But now, she is insisting on going alone and flying back to Ireland on holidays or vacations to see us, or we fly to her. Honestly, I am really upset that she would even suggest this, especially when our eldest is just about to start school. She'd be missing out on so much as a parent. I asked her what will be the long-term plan for us if she decides to go that path, because we can't realistically sustain a long-distance set up forever. I guess that struck a nerve. She snapped and told me that if I don't want her to take the job, I should just say so instead of pretending to support her while constantly trying to talk her out of it. I'm honestly so tired and upset.

I'm really trying to keep a level head and meet her halfway, but I need her to do the same for me. She's usually very rational about things so this current outburst plus the sudden urge to move to California confuses me so much. We're at a stalemate right now. now, but I fear that if she continues to insist on going to California on her own, I'd eventually just fold and agree to moving there as a family. I love my wife and my daughters and I really don't want them to be apart from each other. She has until the end of the month to decide,

so I'm hoping she has a change of heart by then. Thank you all for your support, advice, and kind words.