Reddit Stories - Stories That Will Shock You AITA and Confessions ( Over 9 Hour Compilation ) - Episode #83

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #confessions #shockingstories #redditcompilation #storytime #emotionalstories  Summary: Episode 83 features a captivating collection of Reddit stories that will leave you shocked. This over nine-hour compilation includes AITA posts and confessions, showcasing a variety of emotional and thought-provoking narratives. Listeners will experience a rollercoaster of feelings as they dive into these intriguing tales.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, confessions, shocking, storytelling, emotional, compilation, narratives, drama, relationships, lifeadvice, community, experiences, entertainment, podcast, discussions, insightsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Acquaintance was unfaithful to his spouse, so I informed him that he had destroyed the well-being of his children. Consequently, his spouse decided to reconcile with him due to my remarks, and my spouse believes I spoke unintentionally. Gilt her into forgiving a cheater. My wife is upset at me because of a conversation I had with one of my ex-friend this weekend. I wanted to get neutral opinion on if what I said was horrible and disrespect. to my wife. Just a warning that I am writing about a very sensitive topic and may be triggering to some people. I have been friends with Jason, 38M, since high school. Our families are also close, and our kids are of

similar age. For context, Jason is married and has two young girls. Last month, Jason's wife Bree got anonymous messages about Jason cheating on her. She snooped around and learned that Jason was having a two-year-long affair with one of his coworkers. Bree was devastated and reached out to my wife. My wife and I supported Bree, and she confronted Jason and kicked him out of the house. He is living with his parents now and trying everything possible to talk to Bree and make things right. I was faced with a tough decision but decided to be there for Bree and kids and cut contact with Jason. He has been messaging me and trying to talk to me since then. Last week, his mom reached out to me and told me that Jason has not been doing well and having panic attacks and wanted to talk to me.

I was reluctant, and despite my wife's protest, I decided to talk to him. He came to my house on Friday evening. My wife did not want to see him and stayed in our bedroom along with the kids. Jason was very apologetic and started telling me how he is so angry at himself. and how he broke up with his AP in order to make things right with his wife. He told me that he is also planning to leave his job and would do anything to get back with Bree and see the kids. He wanted me to talk to Bree so that he can at least discuss the situation and they can work on their marriage. I have never seen him cry and it was just horrible.

He started complaining about how Bree has been ignoring him for the last several years and they were having problems and that led him to make such a horrible mistake. I know it's not my place, but I completely lost it on him and told him to stop blaming Bree. If he had problem with her, she should have worked with her to solve it. Cheating on her is the worst thing he could have done to her, and he has no idea how hurt Bree is due to all this. I told him that he not only hurt Bree, but also fucked up his kids' lives. They did not do anything wrong and now have to suffer due to his selfish behavior. I told him that I know that husbands and wives may have problems, but his actions are punishing his kids, and their lives will never be the same

after this. I told him that I am angrier at him that he destroyed his girl's lives, and he is a monster if he did not think of them before cheating on his wife. We both argued for a while and eventually, I told him that I cannot help him in this situation, and we will stand in Bree's corner and make sure she and the kids are taken care of. He left after that. My wife was appreciative that I did not support Jason and did not let him blame Bree for his horrible actions. Before sleeping, my wife asked me why I focused on telling Jason that he should have not cheated because of the kids. She said that Bree's life is also destroyed, and she is never going to emotionally or financially recover from this for a long time. She feels that the kids are collateral

damage, but Bree should be the reason why Jason should not have cheated. I told my wife that from my perspective, I feel worse for the kids because they had such a nice stable home and Jason fucked it up for everyone. My wife told me that she knows I would never cheat on her, but if I was tempted to cheat, would I stop myself because I love her, or would it be because of our kids? We also have two girls. I told her that the main reason I would not do it is because I have morals. But if I was playing her game, I will stop myself because I would never want my daughters to go through this horrible situation. My wife was upset at the answer because she feels that she should be the number one reason why I would not cheat. I understand her point and I love her very

much. However, I really want my daughters to have a wonderful perfect life with two loving parents, and that would be the main reason I would never do anything to sabotage it. Am I the awe because I prioritize my daughter's happiness over the love towards my wife? Is that a normal thing to do, or my wife is right, and she should always be my number one priority. Update, I wanted to thank everyone for all your suggestions and comments on my post from last week. The week has been crazy, and I am just left numb since what happened yesterday can't help but blame myself for the mess that happened so far. The issue was that my friend Jason was caught cheating on his wife last month, and when I had an heated argument with him last week, I told him that he should have thought about

his kids before starting a two-year-long affair with a co-worker. My wife heard the conversation and was upset that his wife Bree was the one who was wrong the most, and I should not have told him that his kids should be the number one reason he should have not cheated. I agree with all of you who said that the comments I made were horrible, but it was just an emotional week and not sure I am thinking about things right. One the night I posted here, I had a very long conversation with my wife. I apologize to her for telling her that our daughter's happiness would be the main reason why I would never do anything to hurt our family. I told her that she is the love of my life and how much I value all the things she has done for us.

I understand that she is my wife, and I made a vow to her to be with her forever, and I understand how my statement was hurtful to her. She was luckily very understanding and told me to not worry about her. She said that she was hurt in that moment, but understands how much I love our kids. She did ask me why I even kept on bringing up kids during my conversation with Jason as that was the point in my argument with Jason where I lost my cool. The thing was when Bree kicked out Jason after learning about the affair, she was a mess. Bree is a psalm and does not have many friends. My wife is probably the closest friend of Bree and hence she called my wife to tell her about

what happened. As my wife went to her place, I volunteered to pick up Jason's daughters and bring them to our house to give Bree some space. Bree was having a mental breakdown since the incident and my wife chose to stay at her place to look after her. I was watching the kids for four nights until Bree was okay enough to take care of them. Jason's older daughter who is eight kind of understood what was happening. However, his younger daughter is four and was just missing her parents. She is Daddy's girl and kept on insisting to me to call Jason to our place. It was heartbreaking to look at her and feel how irreparably her life will be affected because of Jason's selfish decisions.

I just felt very sad inside during the whole situation. I understand that it is Bree and Jason's relationship, and I don't get to have a say, but I feel that was the main reason why I reacted the way I did. I feel lucky that my wife understood my emotions and was gracious to say. support me and not be upset with my unfortunate statements. She told me that she told Brie that Jason came to our home and about my fight with Jason. Brie felt hurt about it, but asked my wife if she could come to our house on Friday to talk to me. We met on Friday and Brie asked me about my conversation with Jason. I told her in detail about what happened, how Jason's mom reached out to me, and I met him because of that. I told him about how Jason told me he broke up

with his AP and was going to leave his job to be far away from that situation. Brie asked me about our fight and why I said things about the kids. I again was honest with her about what I felt. I apologized to her for having opinions as it was their relationship, but I just said those things in the heat of the moment. Bree asked my wife and me if we think Jason can change, as she is also very worried about the kids and the impact on them. She said that Jason has always been an amazing dad, and she is not sure if she can raise the kids without him.

My wife told her that what Jason did was horrible and unforgivable, but we do not want to give opinions on their relationship, as only Bree can decide what to do about it. Bree told us that she'd want to talk to Jason, and if we could host both of them, so she feels safe. Jason and Bree came to our house on Sunday, and it was the first time in a month that Jason met his daughters. It was a very surreal moment to see how emotional he got after seeing them.

I don't care what all of you say, but I know that I will never jeopardize my family because I would never want to be in Jason's shoes and how broken he looked when he had to face his daughters. There were a lot of tears all around. Bree and Jason discussed things privately. From the gist I got later, Jason apologized a lot to Bree and told her he would do anything to make things right. He told her that he has already put a 14-day notice at his workplace and vowed to never see or talk to his AP. again. He told her that she could have access to his phone, and he will not take a job where he has to travel for work or stay away from her overnight. All he asked was for a chance to go for marriage counseling and work on things. He also offered that they could move to a different town

near Bree's parents and get a fresh start. Brie accepted most of the things, except she does not want to move to a new place. They decided that Jason can move back into their house, and they will try to find a way forward from this situation. They both thanked us for mediating between them, and Jason also apologized to me for all the drama and told me that he will do everything possible to heal his marriage and make sure his daughters are taken care of. It all seemed like a good outcome on surface, but my wife feels that my comments about their daughters may have guilt Brie into taking Jason back. I really did not intend to meddle in their relationship, and I know that they have a long rocky road ahead if they want to recover from this situation.

I just hope that they find the strength in doing that. I wanted to get opinions on if what I did was right in this situation, as I feel I accidentally caused both of them to get back together, and if Jason cheats in future, I might be the one to be blamed because I talked to Jason first. And then my words guilt Bree into taking him back because of the kids. Comments where Op has replied. Difficult underscore mood underscore 3225. I hate to say this, but it eventually when he cheats again, or they break up, she is going to blame you and your wife for suggesting she stay because of the kids, even though you told her that you and your wife would not give your opinions, you already have.

Instead, what might have been helpful is letting her know that if he really is a great dad, he'll continue to be on no matter what. Even if they are not together. Divorce doesn't automatically mean raising the kids alone and she's, should do whatever she believes would be healthiest for her and her kids. Cheating for that reason alone often means more pain in the end for everyone, including the kids. The whole reason your wife was upset with you is because you were minimizing the importance of who you actually made vows to.

The same thing is happening with Bree and her husband. I could be wrong, but usually cheaters are cheaters or cheaters or cheaters-oop, to be honest, this is exactly why I am feeling bad. I did not mean to, but my comments may have guilt her into staying with Jason. I thought I knew Jason for my whole life and never thought he was even capable of cheating on Brie. I don't trust him anymore and not sure if I can be great friends with him. Mustang 19671967. Tell your wife and Bree there is no statute of limitations she can leave the scumbag any time she wants no reasons other than a scumbag.

She should force him to tell Ranae partner about the effect. and if they work together tell the company. He should also tell his family and hers and get a post-knip with big penalty for adultery-oop. The thing is I really do not want to be involved in their affairs anymore. I feel Jason is my friend, but it feels weird to give them advice about their own marriage. I do not feel I have any right to tell them what they should do. I know Jason is a scumbag, but I hope that he rectifies his ways and does not hurt Brie again. I would always have it at the back of my mind that Brie might be in a shitty situation because of something I said in the heat of the moment.

Next story, told my pregnant Sil her husband was cheating but my wife got mad, said she forgive cheating and left me. Now Sil lives with me and we're both getting divorced. I have been married to my wife for three years. I am 27 and she's 26. My Sil is 30 and my P-O-S bill is 31. I always had a close relationship with my sill. We are friends. Also has a decent connection between my bill.

Not that close, but we often talk and get along my wife and her sister didn't get along as much as you would expect from siblings. It wasn't just normal siblings' rivalry but constant fights and arguments. Anyway, three weeks ago when I was having dinner with my friends, I saw my bill with another woman, they were just eating, I didn't think much of it. I wanted to go and greet him, but I kept talking to my friends. After a while I saw that he gave a light kiss to this woman, I was so shocked. I decided to not confront him and when I got back to my home I told my wife everything. I told her that her sister is getting cheated on and we need to tell her. My wife said we should talk to my bill instead of telling her sister and we should not break

their marriage because her sister is pregnant. I was like WTF. So what if she's pregnant? Her husband is a cheat. I tried to convince my wife multiple times that we should tell her sister the truth. I told her that I know you guys don't get along but she's still your sister and this isn't right, but she asked me to stay out of it. I tried my best to convince my wife, but she either ignored me or said we shouldn't break their marriage. I had enough of her and yesterday I told her that I am coming clean to my sill.

She and I have a great bond and I can't and want betray her. My wife said if I tell her the truth she will not talk to me, I replied, I won't talk to you either if you don't want to do what's right today, I told my sill the truth. I went to her place and told her everything, she was doubtful and she asked me to leave. After a few hours my sill called me and she was crying and said what I said was the truth and she shouldn't have doubted me and kicked me. She said she's leaving, I asked her where would you go? Do you have money? She said she does, but not that much. I wired her a bit and said she should call me if She needs help and she thanked me and said she will only use the money I sent if it's necessary otherwise she will return my bill called my wife and well my wife lashed onto me and said I

ruined her family and her sister's life. I said I thought the moment we got married your family is mine and my family is yours. Anyway, why T.F. are you defending that pause so much? What about your sister? She didn't reply to me and she's not talking to me either. I tried to talk to her and convince her that it was the right thing to do, but she wouldn't talk to me so I said, fine, stay angry, and if you want to divorce me then go ahead I think I have nuke my marriage, do not know if what I did was truly right update one. November 7, 2024. It's been a few days since I told my wife's sister that her husband is a cheat,

just to clarify to all the weirds, no, I am not in love with my sill, I don't have any inappropriate relations slash feelings for her. I respect her and she's family in any case yesterday. I asked my wife why she is pissed and wanted me to not reveal the truth to her sister. I know you guys hate each other, but you guys are siblings. My wife said it's not our place to interfere. I asked her you okay with her sister being cheated on. She said she isn't but it will and has ruined their marriage because of my stupidity.

She's pregnant and the child needs his father and so does the wife I was so shocked when she said this, like WTF. I asked her if I were to cheat on you, would you forgive me? She said yes, I also asked her if she ever cheats on me, would she hide it from me? She also said yes to that I was so shocked I asked her if she knows what she's saying, she said yes and she's confident. Just because you had sex with someone else doesn't mean everyone else has to suffer and break the family I had no words to say. I told her that I also sent my sill money, she started screaming at me and said I shouldn't have helped her despite knowing she doesn't like her sister. I said if that's what she thinks then

it's better if we just divorce, she got angry and screamed fine and started packing her bag I tried my best to stop her from leaving. I told her that I love her and I just did what I felt right, nobody has to suffer betrayal like this. She said it is wasn't the right time I asked her, so when should we tell her the truth? After she gives birth? Because it will worsen her PPD or years after she gives birth. She will just blame us, she said we should have just kept quiet and left it alone. I tried so hard to stop her but she didn't listen to me and left, I tried to contact her and her parents. Her friends, but they don't know where she is and instead started interrogating me and saying I am her husband and I should have taken care of her and I should know where she is.

I even visited my bill to confirm my suspicions, but I didn't see her car or her belongings anywhere I hate that I am being blamed for just revealing the truth and my wife leaving me right away without a second thought. I was so dumb pissed so today I called my sill and told her that she can stay at my place because I'm going to my parents and my wife left and nobody knows where she is. She told me she will try talking to her parents but after a while she called me and said that their parents don't know where she is. I told her to think about herself and come over and stay here instead of blowing up her money now I am at my parents and my sill is in our home. Maybe I was being petty but I hate that my wife gave up on me and left without a second thought.

I don't know whether she's cheating or cheated or she would truly cheat on me and her own blood sister with a family relative over feuds. One thing is for sure though, I cannot trust my wife anymore, she hurt me. Update November 2nd, 19, 2024 many people ask me for an update and I also do need some outsider's perspective over my situation so here it goes but before I just want to clarify slash ask to people who kept calling me names for telling my sill the truth. Why you guys kept telling me to mind my own business? She's family and if families don't look out for each other and help then who else will?

Strangers And it's not just some harmless slash small lie for my bill, it's life changing. My sill isn't just my sill, she's my friend if I didn't tell her the truth now then my POS Bill would have just kept cheating and I would lose a friend if I delayed. Anyway, coming back to update, my sill only stayed at my place for two days, after then she called me and said she can't trouble me anymore and she's going to live in hotel, I tried to convince her to not blow up her money unnecessarily but she didn't listen and left anyway. And yes, I am divorcing my wife. After a week of NC, she called me and said she wants to reconcile, she said she was angry that I didn't listen to her and went behind her back, she said she didn't

want to break her sister's family so she wanted to hide it and convince my bill to not cheat, but I fucked it all up and she's coming back. I just asked her to come back because I wanted to talk to her and it's not something you discuss over calls. Once my wife arrived and started to explain herself, I told her I am filling, she was pretty shocked, she said we can make it work, I told her we can't. I don't trust you after everything you said and you just left me with no contact and you show up suddenly while I was worried all day about where my wife is or is she safe, etc. I can't make it work. She tried convincing me to not divorce but I had already made my intentions clear, I told her that her sister stayed at our place for two days and she got angry and said

fine let's divorce and left. I told my sill that I am getting a divorce, she wasn't happy about it, but she didn't try to convince me in or out of it. I told her that she can stay with me instead of hotel, she said it's inappropriate, I just said either you blow up your money and struggle or she can accept my help so my sill and I have been living together for past couple of days and we discussed about our spouses and their behavior. We both got pretty angry about this. All my sill got even more angry than I was, and she ended up calling my wife and called her names,

and she told me she's hell bent on to ruining my bill. She is divorcing him and will go nuclear on him and ask for as much money as alimony and child support. She wants to drain him. My wife and I didn't talk to each other after she left, and we both know that we are divorcing. My sill though angry she calmed down because it's unhealthy for her and her baby, and she started focusing on career and read stories about single moms, she's preparing herself

so yeah that's all, and weirdos stay away. Neither my sill nor I have any feelings between each other, I am just helping her and she wasn't feeling good about it. That's why she was hesitating so much. Call me a moral police, but I know I did the right thing not just for my sill but for me as well, I now know what kind of woman my wife is. I hope you enjoy this story. At last, I decided to sever ties with my harmful mother to safeguard my spouse and five children. However, she warned of legal repercussions as she sought grandparent visitation rights. Therefore, I chose to reveal her malicious behavior. To the whole family.

I am a 41-year-old, happily married father of five children. My wife and I have been married for 20 years and both of us came from fractured, chaotic families. My wife's parents divorced and were both alcoholics. Her father died of liver failure and her mother has cooled off a bit and has retired. My parents went through a vicious, violent divorce when I was a child. My father moved ten states away to get away from the craziness and my mother has never changed. Because of our experiences with violent and unstable families, my wife and I have worked extremely hard to be picture-perfect parents and spouses. We've done everything you can think to have a perfect life for our kids.

My wife is a sports coach and I'm a scoutmaster with the BSA. Our kids are healthy, engaged, and have everything they need physically and emotionally. This has been in spite of our families, not because of them. My mother is a terrible woman. She systematically abused me throughout my whole childhood and continued to be a violent, bitter, mean and aggressive person to me throughout my whole life. I could sit here for hours and write about the things that she's done. She used the courts to destroy the life of my father for decades.

Once he was out of the house, she turned her anger at me with physical and emotional violence. When I was 16, she expelled me from the house and left me homeless. I had to go from house to house, figuring out where to live, and try to graduate high school. I ended up living with an older boy that was about four years older than me, and I had to engage in a sexual relationship with him in order to secure that housing. I was not gay, I did not want to be gay, and I had to endure something that destroyed me in order to not be sleeping on the street. When I turned 18, I was able to start working at a better job, and was able to get out of that bad situation and start my life from scratch. My wife and I have scratched and clawed our way into a stable, middle-class lifestyle. We both went to college at night for years and years, and we have good jobs in a house in the suburbs.

Out of a sense of duty to our family, I sought to include my extended family in our lives, and permitted a relationship with strict boundaries between my mother and my children. For the most part, she has been fairly stable for about 20 years. I say stable in that we could have routine contact about once per month for that time period, with a minimum of disruptive behavior. She has never acknowledged her abuse to me as she is an extremely selfish person. Everything about our past has been left unsaid. My mother, over the last two years, has become completely unraveled.

Her second husband decided to leave her for his own health and sanity, and she is instantly reverted back to the most cruel and the most bizarre behavior imaginable. All aspects of her life have been affected. She is calling the cops, suing him in family court, alienating large parts of her family from one another, all while trying to tell my children about why their grandfather is a bastard for how she feels about him. Once I saw this happening, I said that's it, not again and took some action. At the beginning of this year, I wrote a very courteous note to my mother asking her, to reevaluate the way she's been behaving to me and my family.

When I tell you it was neutral and courteous, I really mean it, I checked it like five times. She responded by calling me terrible names, ungrateful piece of shit, for example, and screaming bloody murder on the phone at me. I blocked her from my phone, then she did the same thing to my wife. So I informed my mother by email that I'd like to maintain distance until she works on herself in therapy or with her divorce mediator. Things lay still for about six months. This morning, I wake up to a series of bizarre emails from my mother asserting that she wants to see my children for their birthday which is coming soon, and that she is giving me 24 hours

to provide acceptable dates for permitting visitation or to be prepared for a legal summons to family court. I'm like, WTF. This woman is the equivalent of a schoolyard bully, following me around in life. tormenting me non-stop until you just want to cry. The worst part of a bully is that when you ask them to lay off you for even five minutes, that they just take this as a cue to keep it up even more. I took one look at this and I was like, holy shit, this woman is clearly out of her fucking mind.

Now I know in the post title I said she's suing me, I work in the legal field and I know that until I've been summoned to appear, that I have not been sued. So, no, she's only threatening to sue me right. right now. Sorry for using the hyperbole. But I'm finding myself in the same bizarre, out-of-touch reality that everyone in this person's life finds themselves. This Bats hit insane woman forced me to see my own father at a McDonald's when we were kids for two hours every two weeks, as per the court order, while she waited outside in a running car. I was only allowed to see him in this fashion because she hated him and didn't care what this would do to her own kids.

There were more than a few times when the clock would strike 8 and she would come screaming into the McDonald's threatening to call the cops and have my dad arrested for kidnapping while grabbing us by the arms and pulling us out of the store. This is what she's capable of doing with family court. I had a literal, hyperventilating panic attack on the floor of my office this morning. I have sought to be respectful, mature, and use good decision making this whole time. My wife and I have an extremely secure marriage and she is in agreement with me 100% through all of this. I'm finding myself wishing that my mother would just die already, and just pleased to leave me alone.

She's like this inescapable bully that will never, never under any circumstance leave a person alone until she's proven that she can hurt them. I don't even care what she's experienced in her life. I just need to be away from her. So that's my true off my chest story. I've been living with this shame and fear and lingering self-hatred for 30-plus years, all while trying to be super dad and a great career man. I call the local family law practice today to get a referral. I'm going to ask them to send a demand letter to her, to try and get her to back the hell off, but look at what this has come to. I have to shell money out of my own pocket to protect myself and my kids from my insane mother.

I feel like Rodney Dangerfield sometimes. Ironically, the money I'm going to have to send to the lawyer for their retainer is money that I had earmarked for the kids to go to summer camp. So figure that one out. Thank you for letting me tell you my story. Just typing it out helps. Comments, Boop on if there are a legal precedent that gives her threats in his area. Boop, New York does provide an avenue for grandparents to sue for custody, although it would turn into a protracted legal fight that will cost me a lot of money and aggravation if she does. In general, the process is the punishment.

I had to deal with family court and CPS, cops, etc. when I was 10 and my parents were getting divorced. If you wanted to see me literally pass out on the floor, you dragged me back to family court. Oop on his mother having the financial means to sue for grandparents' rights. Oop, I've seen this woman use the courts to destroy my father for over 10 years. The answer is, who knows? I guess I'll just have to wait for a court summons to see what she will do. Chocolate candy bar underscore. Op, I'm extremely sad to read it.

I suppose you know that. Would she sue you, this would more likely bring to her 40 years horrors being exposed in court and her being denied to stay on the same planet of your kids. So, I suppose that you're here to just get it off and yes you don't deserve IT and definitively yes, you are paying for having been a good person. May life repay you and your mom. All my vibes are for you. United Manor 20, you should have plenty of proof to get a restraining order and do not worry about her getting grandparents' rights.

She would have to have a well-established relationship with the children already, which does not sound like that's the case. They don't just give grandparents' visitation rights because they're grandparents. I would definitely change your number and go file restraining order. It sounds like she is unhinged and you are concerned. for your family safety. At the very least, if they deny that, make sure you issue a letter of no trespassing so she cannot come to your home. If she violates that, then you should have enough grounds to get the restraining order. You could even use her own words against her. Tell her that she's welcome to take you to court, but till then do not contact you for any

circumstances. If she wants meditation, she can take you to court. That will not end well for her. skid marks, not only changed the phone number, but completely ghost her. Do not reply to anything she does to contact op. The courts aren't going to side with her over this. She sounds completely crazy. Update, I posted this all on Thursday when I was experiencing a serious amount of turmoil. Since then, I've calmed down a lot and also had the good judgment to talk this over with the important people in my life. First things first, I'd like to thank everyone to. for the words of encouragement and support that were given. There were some surprising insights from many of the posters,

and I found myself agreeing with and appreciating many of the stories of support that were posted by others. I now understand that I am not the only person with a domineering, selfish, easily enraged parent. To all the people who blamed me for being a victim of my mother, and somehow being at fault for all this. Well, I want to use some strong language to you, but I'll just ask you to please think about how fortunate your life has been that you haven't experienced what I have experienced.

So on to the update, as it turns out, only two states in the Union have codified grandparents California and New York, and I do live in New York. Basically, in New York, a grandparent does not have the automatic right to have access to grandchildren, but a grandparent does have automatic standing to file a petition to be heard in family court. The petition can be squashed, but they can file the petition. I do want to get back to this later. I did conference with a family law attorney on Friday,

and he helped me to understand the situation and craft a strategy. He was generous enough to not require a retainer unless and until I'm served with legal papers. He basically explained that the grandparent does have standing to file a petition based on a pre-existing relationship with the grandchildren, but that she would most likely not be able to overcome the desires of two married parents who are both exercising their judgment for the health and safety of their children. He explained that in New York, our simple desire to terminate a relationship would most likely be overcome in court, however if we introduce some of the specific actions that she's exhibited

over the last few years, familial alienation, adult humor near children, uncontrollable anger, dangerous operation of a motor vehicle. That we would very likely prevail in a court setting. He explained that the good thing is that we had already restricted content. between our children and my mother to about once per month, and that in his experience he had never seen a court order for grandparent visitation for more often than once a month, for one hour per session. I try to be reasonable so I said, okay, the worst case scenario is supervised status quo. I did broach the topic of a restraining order, and I was quickly schooled on how that works. I've been harassed and alarmed by words, I can't be granted a restraining order, period. However, if my mother causes some disorderly acts such as coming to my house and causing a ruckus, that could trigger an order if and only if I document it by having a police come and detailing a report.

So, keep that in mind next time you recommend a restraining order. They're not easy to get. The attorney recommended that I send a private cease and desist to my mother via certified mail and email. I decided to write a two-page, brutal takedown of this woman in order to a, blow off some steam and B, document and writing my concerns and try to get ahead of her legal maneuvering. I decided to take a too-pronged approach. First, I send this cease and desist to her on Friday at lunchtime via email and also certified mail. Then, I took a page out of her playbook and publicly scorched the earth to apply social pressure to her. I emailed and texted

every single member of my extended family, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, my stepfather, my father, and spoke to several of them to tell them exactly what was happening. Whether they wanted to hear it or not, I sent them intimate details of my mother's abuse and my decision to cut her off for the welfare of myself and my family. My reasoning there is simple, my mother's abuse thrives in closed doors and embarrassed silence. For 30 years I've had to hear, oh, you know, that's just the way your mother's. mother is, while and let her act in the most insane and violent ways you can imagine. My mother got angry at my stepfather last year, and tried to run him over with her car,

then crashed her car into the front door of his business screaming at him and ranting and raving in public. Do you know what people did? They surely called the police or an ambulance and had her monitored for her safety, right? No. My sister quickly threw her into her car and drove her away so that she wouldn't be arrested. My stepfather was so embarrassed that he took the crashed car, drove it to a parking spot, and then paid out of pocket for the damage to the front of his business. This is what happens in families that are dealing with a crazy person. They cover it up, hoping that it will someday get better.

Well, I'm not comfortable with this anymore. I sought to publicly embarrass and pressure her for a change. Anyway, by Friday afternoon, my mother got the message and sent me emails telling me that I can stop attacking her and maligning her to my family. She indicated that she would abandon any legal efforts to seek visitation with my children. This was a relief, but to be fair I was almost looking forward to having a public forum to describe her antics at court. Nevertheless, it seems like she's backing off for the moment. The fallout and damage to my extended family is most likely to. severe and permanent. However, my wife and I discussed this fully and have decided that this is the

direction we're going in. We'll just have to have holidays by ourselves if the family can't be loyal and supportive to me. On to the last point, and I really want to drive this home. In 1991, my mother conducted an incredibly vicious divorce against my father. I mean, she literally sought to destroy him, and she did. He was completely beaten by her. One of the things that my father told me about just this weekend, was that at the time my grandparents on his side sought to have guaranteed visitation with us after the divorce. My mother actually went to court on that specific topic, and specifically litigated that she was the custodial mother and had sole decision making about who the children would be around. The court ruled at the time that in fact, there was no right for a grandparent to see children, and my mother successfully was able to keep me away from my, very loving and happy grandparents for years. I was only able to see them during court-mandated visitation with my own father.

The law in New York changed in 2000 so that grandparents' rights came into effect, too late to help me unfortunately. I want to really drive this home. The fucking balls on this woman to go to court on her own behalf and stayed in a court of law that she, as the custodial mother of children, has the sole and ultimate decision on who her children have relationships with, and then to 35 years later attempt to use the changes in law to assert that she has grandparents' rights to visitation. Despite the wishes of the both parents, was too much for me to bear.

That alone made me say, no way, not happening under my watch. So that's the update. Long-winded, yes, but it makes me feel good to type this out. I'm finally able to unburden the unbearable shame and embarrassment of what happened to me to members of my family, and I won't allow myself to be ignored anymore. I'm 41 and my selfish, insane baby boomer asshole mother is in her mid-70s and has no power over me anymore. I'm sick and tired of bottling this up. Anyone who doesn't like it.

They can go suck an egg. I deserve to have loyal and faithful people in my life. Comments, a scully, isn't her case now public record. If she believes that only custodial parents should dictate a child's relationship with extended family, Isn't that something a lawyer can look up and use? Oop, I have started the FOIL request at the family court where the divorce was adjudicated. However, this will likely take months and months to get the records. I may read them just to more fully understand my family's history.

Practical chess 2313. Man, I am so unbelievably glad that you stood up for yourself and that you and your wife are united in standing up to your extended family. That's not easy to do. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, but abusers are so, so good at making you believe that you're the one exception. Marukin underscore Wanton, exactly and good job op. For my own personal experience, it can be difficult to cut a toxic abusive person out of your life. So many people follow the same path as their parents. It makes me happy to hear that you are raising your children the complete opposite of how she raised you.

In limiting contact and going NC you are not only protecting yourself but also your children. No one should have to endure that and so sorry that you did but be proud of the fact that you and your wife are ending that cycle. Berlin Black Tea In New York the burden of proof for a TRO is high. Why so many jump to that thinking they give things out like that freely you wouldn't want a system that allows that. Being made uncomfortable is not grounds for TRO. And in a dysfunctional family, where abuse is chronic and lifelong, but rarely enough to cause arrest people who exhibit controlling and abusive behavior know what they can and cannot get

away with legally in most cases, and have enablers that hide behind their silence and shame it is frustrating. Unless minors are witnesses to the behavior. CPS acts on this quickly. TROs are usually granted then. Parents can be faulted for failure to protect if they do not shield the children from a relative's behavior. The culture has changed in this regard from the 80s and 90s. What matters now is the future. Protect your children and go to therapy for yourself. Intergenerational trauma stops with you, and you are taking steps to do that. But you also have to heal yourself the child you were that was not heard, loved, valued, or protected by your primary caregiver. Mom. It will take hard work in some time, but if you

you take the therapy seriously it will heal you and help become the healthiest version of yourself, and as a parent, that you can be. And you will be mentally free. G-L-TU. Nitty-ditty, this Bats hit insane woman forced me to see my own father at a McDonald's when we were kids for two hours every two weeks, as per the court order, while she waited outside in a running car. I'm trying to understand how the courts only granted the father two hours per fortnight visitation. On what sounds. Big error, mom probably made up a lot of BS that made the dad sound abusive, uncaring, etc. Text Eva. I dated a guy who had an ex like that, even worse, it wasn't regular visits she'd just phone with one hour's notice and if he wasn't there she'd tell the kids

he didn't love them enough. Took him years and thousands to sort the court custody. Sadly, it took a toil on the relationship, hard to be second best to ex is crazy and we had to keep relationship secret or she'd cut him off. He had two, and did put his kids first, but the frequent canceled dates were too much, her fault really. As a friend of his, though, I was pleased when it was all finalized and to see he settled with a nice GF now. Mountain Guava 2877. Cases like that are why coparenting apps are a godsend. No more lies about who agreed to do what or when. It's all documented and time-stamped. I hope you enjoy this story. Insects invaded the holiday season to request my permission for their unruly offspring to

attend my wedding without children, following their disruption of my relatives' wedding. Consequently, my insects are now refusing to attend in creating difficulties. 26F have been with my partner, 27M, for five years, and we are getting married next year. Overall, the wedding planning has gone pretty smoothly until now. For context, there is a large age gap in my family when it comes to the grandchildren on my mother's side, my dad's an only child. My mother had me in her mid-20s and my two aunts waited till they were in their late 30s to have kids, so I've just been more of an extra aunt to a lot of my cousins as there's about four of them all between six and ten, all girls, except for my cousin Kate, 25F, who is the daughter of my mother's older brother. Now I love my family I do, but my aunts have always been the kind of parents who can never say no to their precious children, and that has resulted in them being spoiled brats. Over the last decade, there has not been one family event that hasn't been ruined in some capacity by a child having a tantrum over something stupid.

In the last year alone we've had tantrums over not wanting to leave a party even though the party place was closing, not having the correct flavor of strawberry ice cream at our grandfather's 85th birthday or just getting a pack of herald. that didn't match each others and many others that Tbh the reason why are so stupid they feel made up. And these tantrums are bad, like the full screaming, pounding the floor, and enough tears to water a field until their mothers give in to their demands. The husbands are just real walkovers, Tbh, and let their wives deal with the kids. It took a long time to even bring my partner to one of our many family events just because I always knew these tantrums were going to happen, and I didn't want to scare her away. I work with kids so I know this is beyond not normal behavior of kids and I know the lack of discipline is to blame but I've never been in a position to call it out cause in my family it's very much if you don't have kids your opinion of how to raise them doesn't count but as the kids have gotten older it's gotten so much worse.

Now on to the wedding planning. We are not having a large wedding cause neither of us want it. Between our family members we want there and our friends. It's just over 100 people. My partner's family has no kids under 16, and when the idea of having a child-free wedding came up it was clear my partner like the idea of no one under 16 in TBH I was happy with it as well as our dogs were going to fill the roles of ring-bearer and flower girl anyway and we both knew there was going to be at least one tantrum and neither of us wanted. To subject our friends and her family to those. My parents and grandparents agreed that it would be nice to have no kids for a change, and with that, we sent the invitations out. Not long after the invitations went out, we had my cousin Kate's wedding.

She grew up three hours away and hasn't turned up to really any family events in the last decade, but her mother made her invite everyone to show off as there were over 400 people. Don't get me wrong, you could tell a lot of money was put into the event, and it was lovely, but I personally wouldn't have liked it for my day. Her new husband had a niece and nephew so they did the flower girl and ring bearer rolls, and yes there were tantrums thrown when that news broke, and it only took five minutes into the wedding for a tantrum to happen because one of the kids wanted to sit at the front and not a few pews back. My partner has gotten into the habit after four years of these events of keeping track of the tantrums on her notes app, and she counted three in the church alone. It only got worse as it was raining after, and the kids didn't want to wear jackets to get to the car, and many tears happened.

The meal wasn't much better, but, thankfully, we were at the head table with my grandparents away from it, but you couldn't not hear the whining and shouting occasionally throughout the meal. Things got bad when, at some point before dessert, two of the kids came up to me and asked why they were not invited to my wedding as they had been for Cates. A bit stunned I just replied that the place we were having it was only for adults. That obviously was the wrong answer because almost immediately another tantrum about how apparently their parents had promised them they would be the flower girls at my wedding erupted. Thankfully they're small for their age, so it was pretty easy to pick them up and move them away

from the head table, which was on a stage and away from people staring. While this was happening, my parents were confronted by my aunts asking how was it that their kids were not invited. My parent just repeated the same thing as I had said, and this also wasn't good enough. At this point, my grandfather and I were behind them with two of their screaming, children. I honestly don't know what came over me, but I blurted out. You really cannot see why I might not want to have your children there on my wedding day. Can you please stop discussing this right now is not the time and people are already staring at us. And left well let's just say that while most of my family agreed with what I said, now my aunts are refusing to attend the wedding

until I apologize to them and their kids and invite them. Some family members think it was the wrong time to say anything or just apology to keep the piece but honestly I don't want to as I don't think what I said was that bad especially considering the thing I knew that the groom's family were saying after the wedding from what I heard from Kate and her new husband. Ada has no consensus bot, but based on the comments, op was entier. Update, I'm okay so never expected this post to get as much attention as it did so yay here's an update. So yay Christmas happened and yay it was apparently a shit show. I had planned ahead of of time to spend Christmas with my partner and in-laws who live over an hour away and then

celebrate Boxing Day back at home with my parents and grandparents, but to my surprise, my mother contacted me late on Christmas Day just to say the Boxing Day celebrations were called off after a disastrous Christmas meal with the family, which at the last minute included the ants and the children. So apparently they had decided that as the family had been going and see in the week since the events at my cousin's Kate's wedding, they were going to turn up to my great-grandmother's house for Christmas and confront me about it to my face to make me apologize for calling out their kids. Behavior. They usually do their own thing at Christmas and often go to their in-laws. Forgot to mention they are married to brothers who are two of the weirdest

men I've ever met, but that's a rant for another day. I guess they thought if my 99-year-old great-grandmother, my mother's mom's mom, was present I wouldn't refuse their demands. However, they failed to check that I might not be there and according to my father, their faces when they realized their plan had backfired were hilarious. Obviously, their little terrors were running rampant and screaming their heads off and one even had a temper tantrum cause there were no presents for them under the tree. The ants had turned up in the middle of the Christmas meal several hours after all the presents were opened, but apparently, the kid couldn't comprehend that according to my aunt. At one point my great-grandmother got so annoyed at the screaming she

yanked her hearing aids out. No one in the family had thought to fill her in with what had gone down at Kate's wedding. It was one of those we all thought someone else had done so she was a bit confused at first. She knew the wedding was child-free so she couldn't understand why they were making such a fuss about it and to just get over it. She said she'd like to enjoy the likely last wedding she'll ever attend in peace away from screaming children. My family has a very dark sense of humor. Between that and what I had said earlier, I think most of my family have just had enough of their crazy excuses. Obviously after great-granny said this they went on about their poor angels, but they didn't have much of a leg to stand on as pretty soon after they opened their mouths

the terrorists had gotten into my grandmother's homemade baked Alaska and had dropped it ruining the desert for everyone. Apparently, my grandfather just snapped and told them to get out and let them enjoy one family event in peace and they needed to get their children's behavior in order if they ever wanted to be invited to another family event as their children's behavior was out of line and was only going to backfire of them the older they got. This man had served for over 10 years in the Army

and another 25 years as a police officer and is terrifying when he snapped so understandably they got out of their ASAP. My great-grandmother even opened one of her fancy bottles of whiskey to celebrate. My grandfather had been one of those who did not want to disinvite them and keep the peace. He's financially contributing to the wedding, but when I got home yesterday,

he gave me full permission to rescind their invitations. I had originally decided to not rescind my aunt's invitations, but give them a warning that if they turn up with their children or try to cause a scene, they will be escorted off the property immediately. But now after an emergency family meeting on Boxing Day, we ended up just rescinding their invitations and instead just using what we would have spent on the four meals on jewelry for myself, my mom, grandmother and great-grandmother as a memento. My parents and partner are 100% behind me on this and were lucky that our venue is owned by my

soon-to-be in-laws and with that security is included in the cost as they have had several crazy family member stories from renting it out for weddings and events over the last 30-plus years. It's run in-house by my soon-to-be brother-in-law so we have full control of who is allowed on the property during the wedding. My maid of honor and bestie has has also volunteered herself in the case of one of them turning up in a white dress to be the one to take one for the team and spill a glass of red wine. Her backup plan is using my doys, both West Highland Terriers who will be at the wedding, who are trained to pee on command and have an accident. She's a drama teacher, so I'd be pretty confident in her being able to make it look convincing as an accident if a worst-case scenario happened. In terms of if I knew the kids coming up to me at the wedding was their parents' way of guilt-tripping me yes I did know.

This is far from the first time it has happened. For example, when one of the terrors had their Holy Communion, it fell around the same time my partner and I had adopted our two dogs. We hadn't expected to get two, but they were inseparable and we just fell in love with them immediately and took both home. My job requires me to work Saturday morning so couldn't attend the church service for the communion and there was not real way to could get it off so early on I made sure everyone knew I wouldn't be attending the church service making sure to hand-deliver. a card with money in for the child the day before with a small gift cause apparently to my aunt's money doesn't count as a gift. Anyway later on at the meal the sister of child who had their communion just came straight up to me during the event and asked me why I never turned up to the church in front of everyone and asked where was their puppy? Apparently, my aunt had

told them one of my puppies was for them. Let's just say tantrums happened and the puppy they did end up getting lasted one week as now it lives with my in-laws. They hadn't pulled that stunt in a while, at least not to myself, so I guess that's what threw me off more than anything else. As with what was said by Kate's in-laws not long after I got back to the table, Kate's now mother-in-law sent us over a round of drinks to help with our growing headaches and there was a lot of how on earth do you deal with this on a regular basis? And oh boy, they're going to be nightmares when they're older. We were also betting with the rest of the bridal party when the next tantrum would happen, my partner won betting when there would be one just before the speeches, and a few

rounds of who could guess what the reason for a tantrum was thanks to my partner's four-year-long notes. Kate's in-laws also share my family's dark humor so later in the night we were betting which would be the worst once the teenage years and all those hormones hit. Was it the most adult way of dealing with it? Probably not, but was too drunk and annoyed to care about that. Comments, the last moan go, glad thing are working out and just have to say. say, loving your great-grandmother.

Op, oh, truly the women is iconic. She also technically got this whole saga started as she set me up with my partner all those years ago a gratified viewer. Three fucking cheers for Grandpa and Great Grandma. Those two are easily the heroes of this story. Of course, after the little shits ruined dessert, I wouldn't be surprised if other relatives were getting in line to tell the ants off. Op, oh yep, they ruined dessert for basically every family member over 50, was about 25-ish people,

and a lot of them live over a day's drive away so only get my grandmas baked Alaska once a year at Christmas so they were not pleased at all. Now on to the next story. Story 2 Discovered my wife's a fair profile while on vacation after overworking myself for months, so I catfished her into meeting a stranger at a hotel where I ambushed her with divorce. My wife and I met when we were both working in the same office building seven years ago. She was working a few floors below me and we would often ride on the elevator together when we got to work.

I always thought that she was cute, but I was a little nervous to say anything. As it happened, one Saturday I had to run into the office to grab some things. When I was leaving, I got on the elevator and she was there. Without anybody else around, we struck up some conversation and I jumped on the opportunity to ask her out. Things got serious with us pretty quickly when she got pregnant about a year into our relationship. It wasn't the end of the world for us. It was unexpected, sure, but there was some excitement there as well.

Don't get me wrong, now that our son is here we both love him more than anything in the world, but if we could have had him at a different time we would have. We had some struggles in the first couple of years of our marriage because I think we both felt like we were forced into it. Even through all of that I never doubted that she was the one. We both loved each other and we were dedicated to working through our problems. As we got older, things slowed down for us. She was able to quit her job to focus on raising our son, and I was doing very well at work.

One of my coworkers tragically passed away unexpectedly and while my entire office was mourning the loss, we had to pick up the work left behind. After their death, I had taken on a large sum of their workload. Because of that, I was spending long nights in the office, going in on weekends, and even on some holidays. I cared a lot about my work and I wanted to make sure everything was getting taken care of, plus I thought there might be an opportunity for growth if I continued putting the work in. My sex life with my wife virtually died when that happened. It's not at all like I wanted it to be,

but I was so exhausted after every day that the thought never even crossed my mind. I wanted to go home and eat dinner then sleep. It wasn't for lack of trying on my wife's part either. She would tell me that she wanted us to spend more time together, and I would promise her that we would after everything was finished with work. I know that none of this is exactly my fault, but if I were to take any of the blame for what happened it would be my work. Projects that were supposed to take weeks took months and I was overworking myself

to the point of being physically ill sometimes. I hit my breaking point with work when I realized that I had worked for 22 days without a single day off. I spoke to my boss and I told them about everything I've been doing, he assured me that my work hadn't gone unnoticed. He gave me a handsome bonus and I cashed out a week of vacation to take some time to relax. I was excited to be able to decompress at home with my family. However, when I was home and doing nothing I had all the time in the things. that were off with my wife. As much as she wanted us to be intimate just weeks before, she didn't seem to be interested when I was free. Of course, I didn't want to pressure her

or push her, so just let it slide. She had been spending a lot of time at the gym working out. I hadn't even noticed the changes in her until I was on my vacation. She had toned up a lot of her body, she got her hair done, and she had a lot of newer clothes. I asked her why she had changed so much, and she got mad at me for only just noticing, but then she told me that she just wanted to feel more confident. I tried to assure her that I thought she was beautiful either way, but I told her that she looked great. During the week, I honestly got a little bored without having anything to do. Hacks season was coming up, so I started going through my banking information to prepare. As I was going through, I found some strange charges that I wasn't familiar with.

Almost everything I saw was accountable and recognizable in my bank statement except for these few charges. I didn't know what they were, so I googled the charge name to see what came up and I thought maybe that would jog my memory. What I discovered was that it was a charge for a website called Ashley Madison. When I first heard the name it sounded familiar. I knew I had heard it somewhere before, and initially, I thought it was some kind of hair care thing my wife must have gotten. However, when I looked up what it really was, I found out that it was a website for married people to find others interested in affairs. My heart shattered when I read that. I knew that I wasn't the one who subscribed to it.

My wife had paid to use an app that would set her up with another person betraying their marriage. I needed to see for myself if she was actively having one. I made an account on the website, making a fake profile to snoop around. Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of other accounts that were clearly fake and fishing for information on the users. After some looking, I found my wife. She had pictures of herself showing her face completely, anybody that knew her would instantly recognize it was her if they saw it. She was barely being discreet about wanting an affair. On top of that, in some of the pictures she was wearing very little clothes.

She was clearly showing off her body to potential affair partner. She stated in her profile that she was looking for fun because she felt like I was ignoring her. I was furious and heartbroken all at the same time. It was very confusing to understand where she was coming from by saying she felt like she was being ignored. I knew that I had been working a lot, but it was out of my control a lot of the time. I took the opportunity to message her and flirt with her to see if she would react. I told her that it was such a shame that her husband was ignoring her because, because she was flawless and he didn't know what he was missing. Not long after I sent the

message, she replied. She was fully responding to every advance. She was being extremely sexual too. She was asking me for pictures, offering to send some in return. I knew then that this wasn't her first conversation on the website. If she had been talking to other men like this, just how far had it gone? When she got home I pretended like I knew nothing. She had just got back from the gym so she was hopping in the shower. I took that opportunity to look for the app on her phone and see what she'd been saying. When I found it I saw dozens of messages between her and other men. The most shocking part of it all was seeing men that she and I both knew talking to her.

They were our son's friends' parents, people in the neighborhood, and some people I even worked with. I had no idea that many people would be using a website like this, but we live in a pretty messed up world. One of the guys in our neighborhood that she had been messaging had told her he was fantasizing about her for a long time before he saw her on the app. She said that she felt the same way. From all the messages that I read, it seemed like this was the only person she had made plans to meet up with. It was clear from the context of their messages that they had slept together and were planning on doing it again. On top of that, I found messages with another man that led me to believe that my wife was considering meeting up with him.

Right away, I knew that I needed to catch her in the act. She and I married so hastily that there wasn't a prenuptial agreement or anything of the sort. I needed to catch her and get evidence and then I could proceed with the divorce. So, I used my catfish profile to the best of my ability. The good thing about being married to my wife for as long as I was is that I knew exactly what to say to her to get her to fall for me. Within a few days of me using the app, she was willing to meet up with me. I gave her an address to a hotel and told her to meet me there.

I was honestly kind of shocked when she agreed. It was extremely risky to meet up with a strange man on the internet and she was willing to throw everything away for it. She had no idea who I was. Meanwhile, I had reached out to the wife of the man she slept with and I told her everything. She was hysterical when I showed her what I found. found. I calmed her down and I convinced her that we needed to think logically and we needed to catch them. I helped her make a fake profile too and we were able to convince her husband to meet at the same

hotel. Our plan was in motion and all we had to do was confront them both. The time came and we left room keys for both of them at the front desk and told them to grab them and head up. My wife arrived first and she messaged me to tell me that she was waiting in the room and attached a picture of her in her lingerie. The guy she had been sleeping with arrived next and was clearly shocked to see my wife there. After a minute of them being in the room alone together, both his wife and I went and joined them. When we opened the door both of them were silent as they watched us. My wife grabbed the blanket from the bed and tried to cover herself because she was half naked. They tried to act like we were in the wrong for catfishing them, but they didn't have a leg to stand on. I told my wife that I was

done with her and that she had really broken my heart with her actions. I could tell that she felt guilty about it and she tried to once again put the blame on me for ignoring her when I was working. I told her that didn't excuse what she did. Both I and my neighbor's wife filed for divorce not long after that. We had mountains of evidence of their affairs against them. Apparently, he had been with many women since downloading the app. I was able to come out on top during the divorce. My wife didn't work so spousal support was the biggest argument that we had, but my lawyer was able to get me out of payments. I got custody of our son, but she has visitations of him. The reasoning for that was that she was so easily convinced to meet up with a stranger online.

They were able to convince someone that she could potentially bring a harmful person home. I feel like I'm picking up and starting anew with my life now. It's daunting, but I'm honestly glad that I found out about her true colors before we were 15 years into our marriage. I hope you enjoy this story. Privileged daughter criticizes father for being financially unstable and disrespects him publicly for not funding her expensive wedding. In response, he decides to stop providing financial assistance. Greetings, all. I am a 44-year-old father with a 23-year-old daughter named Trisha.

Who's getting married to her boyfriend Jerry, 26M, in a couple of months? I had Trisha when I was in my early 20s, just six months into my marriage. My wife, unfortunately, passed away shortly after due to an epileptic seizure. As a single father, my only goal in life has been to ensure that Trisha has the best life possible. I threw myself into work after my wife's demise, like most people do. It was my sister who would take care of Tricia at home and then I'd take over after work hours. I worked hard, got promoted and all my money went into raising my daughter and giving her everything she wanted. So needless to say, Tricia was spoiled and I am completely responsible for that.

I always assumed that I was doing it in her best interests and just gave her whatever she ever asked for because I could afford it. My sister advised me against it several times but I didn't listen to her because my daughter was my weak spot, I couldn't say no to her. I'd been warned that it would go wrong and it finally backfired about a week ago, when Trisha told me that she wanted me to pay for her wedding. She wanted an extremely fancy wedding and her budget sat at somewhere around $150,000. There were a lot of guests, some people whom she didn't even know that well but she wanted to invite them, several different kinds of food, and an exorbitantly priced venue. Not just that, but she wanted me to pay for a custom-made designer wedding gown and all her jewelry, as well as her bridesmaids.

Now I'm not a miser and I'm a pretty well-off man, but $150,000 was a bit too much, even for me. I had my own business now but spending that sort of money on a wedding would wreak havoc on my finances. So with a heavy heart, I had to inform Trisha that I could not afford to pay for a wedding like that and she had to downscale or at least contribute to it herself. She seemed disappointed and asked me if I didn't have a wedding fund set aside for her and I did, but that was just $75,000. For starters, I didn't expect her to believe that I'd pay for the entire wedding. The most I thought she'd asked me to pay for would be maybe the venue or the catering or maybe both,

but not all the expenses. And secondly, I didn't expect her to get married so early so I didn't have enough time to save for her wedding either. Besides, she and Jerry had only been together for a year and they could wait for a while before they got married and until then, I could put some more money together or maybe they could also get better jobs and contribute to the wedding costs themselves. I explained all of this to her, but she didn't seem to understand and only through a fit, then left my house angrily. She was mad at me because I'd said that I couldn't afford the wedding but she knew that I could, I just didn't want to spend that amount of money on something like a wedding.

She accused me of being selfish and said that I wouldn't think twice if this was some business deal. I didn't know how to explain to her that those were two entirely different things, so I let that go. I felt bad about it and decided after a while that I was going to take out a personal loan so that I'd be able to pay for her wedding and spoke to one of my banker friends immediately about it. I could always just repay it gradually over time, so I didn't think it was a big deal. She didn't talk to me for the next two days and I decided that I'd only reach out to her once I'd finalize the loan. However, she made a scathing Facebook post on the third day and referred to me as a broke loser in it. She accused me of being selfish and only focusing on my work,

never being there for her as a kid and even implied that her mother probably passed away because of my negligence, which was a really nasty thing to say. Then she said that I was a selfish workaholic who couldn't think of anything, apart from myself and my business, but in spite of that, I was still somehow a broke loser. It was a slap on the face and I blocked her immediately after that post. I didn't even touch my phone or log into any of my social media for a couple of hours after that. I was completely M.I.A., so my sister decided to pay me a visit out of concern and when she came by, I ended up breaking down in front of her. The things that Trisha had said cut deep and I was pretty depressed for that day, and also the next couple of days. I didn't speak to anybody outside of work and could

barely even bring myself to get out of bed for the next couple of days so my sister stayed with me and took care of me. She'd also spoken to Trisha and made her take that post down but it didn't matter anymore because now I knew exactly what my daughter thought of me, and it broke my heart. I couldn't think of a single thing that I wanted to say to her so I just didn't speak to her and I only unblock her yesterday, when I was finally feeling a little better. My sister had already given Trisha an earful, but I couldn't let this go until I spoke to her myself. I'd already cancelled the loan and this is going to be terrible, but I really wanted to hurt my daughter emotionally because she'd done the same to me.

I know that she's my daughter and I shouldn't say or feel things like this, but I just really wanted her to know how I felt and I wanted her to feel what I felt, to be more precise. So I unblocked her and decided to wait for her to call. And she finally did call me last evening. She started by apologizing and told me that she was just really angry and ended up saying a lot of things that she didn't mean because she was disappointed that she couldn't have the wedding of her dreams. Even while she was apologizing, she didn't sound very genuine or apologetic. She just sounded annoyed and I felt more agitated when I heard her speaking in that tone. So I stopped her apology then and there and told her what I'd been planning to do with the loan and the surprise that I'd been keeping from her.

She sounded thrilled for a moment until I told her that I'd cancelled it after her post and now, I wouldn't be covering any of the wedding expenses. So she could find a way to pay for it herself since she was so independent and I was so selfish. She was about to say something but I continued and told her that since I was so selfish, I wanted her to repay me for everything that I spent on her after she. turned 18. It wasn't fair of me to ask that of her and I didn't want any of the money back. But I just wanted her to feel bad about herself, so I told her that I wanted every single dime back, and it was quite a lot of money. Her college tuition and accommodation had all been paid for by me since she didn't want to live on campus and wanted her own apartment. She also used to go shopping quite frequently with her friends and would often treat them to expensive trips

because she knew that I'd pay for it all. She was spoiled rotten and she took advantage of it. So I told her to pay me back for all of it and then we'd never have to speak to each other again. She wouldn't have to keep in touch with a broke loser like her dad, and I wouldn't have to ever speak to a nasty, spoiled, and ill-mannered brat like her and it'd be great for both of us. By the time I got to that last part, I was practically screaming into the phone because I was so enraged. and all the feelings that I've been suppressing for the past couple of days just bubbled up to the surface and I couldn't hold it back anymore.

So once I was done yelling at her, I disconnected the call and laid back on the couch, trying to calm myself down. My sister had come out of the kitchen when she heard me yelling and she'd overheard me telling Trisha to pay me back. She didn't say anything in the immediate aftermath, but I could tell that she had a lot of opinions about what happened. So she waited until the evening and brought it up at dinner. She told me that I was equally responsible for the way that Trisha turned out because I was the one who spoiled her. Now, I couldn't just blame it all on her because she didn't raise herself. I did this. She believes that it was unfair of me to be so hard on her, despite whatever she'd said.

She thinks that the right thing for me to do would have been just to cut her off until she apologized to me genuinely and not just for the sake of it. She knew that this apology came just because Trisha was facing a lot of backlash from our relatives and probably some of her sensible friends as well. Because whatever she'd said was really below the belt and unfair to me. But the way I reacted to it was equally ridiculous and I shouldn't have let anger get the better of me because, at the end of the day, I was the one who raised her and created this person. She went on to remind me of all the times that Trisha had been horrible to other people, be it our relatives or her friends. friends, and said that I'd never, ever had much to say against her at the time only because it wasn't happening to me. I'd maybe just scold her just a little, but there were never any real consequences, simply because I believed that she'd grow out of it. But now that Trisha was

finally targeting me and I was the one at the receiving end of her cruelty, I could finally see the person that I'd created and now there was nobody left to blame but myself. Apparently, I'd still had a chance to make things right by letting her come to her senses on her own. But instead, I acted like a child and did the same thing that Trisha would have done in my place. I was vindictive and unnecessarily cruel, which put me in the same position as her. So now she's going to be even more pissed at me and is never going to realize that she did something wrong. And I would have done a lot better if I'd just given her the silent treatment because that way, at least I wouldn't have this on my conscience.

I didn't agree with my sister at the time and left dinner angrily, without finishing. my food. We haven't spoken since last night, but now that I think of it with a cooler head, I guess I can see where she's coming from. I also realized that I was behaving the same way as Trisha had and that wasn't a great example to set for my daughter. But at the same time, I don't think this exactly is my fault. Trisha is an adult and is free to make her own decisions. I didn't teach them to act this way, I just didn't teach her not to either. I'm just confused about whether I'm the one at fault here or not. So Ida for allegedly spoiling my daughter.

Update 1, Hi, Everybody. I realized my mistake and I have apologized to my sister, especially since she's the only person looking out for me right now and I can't afford to have her turn her back on me. Also, because she's right and I guess I just didn't want to admit it because then I'd have to acknowledge my own failure as a father. I guess I never really took it seriously when Trisha would act out be horrible to other people because I didn't want to reprimand her. I was a little too soft

on her and now that's backfired on me because she's just a straight up bad person. I haven't spoken to her since that phone call and neither has she tried to reach out to me. I guess that's how it's going to be for a while now because what she said was incredibly disrespectful and hurtful so I'm definitely not going to talk to her unless she apologizes to me, sincerely and honestly, I don't see us ever reconciling in the future. Update 2. my sister believes that this should have been my approach right from the beginning, as soon as she made that post. And I agree because that phone call didn't make me any better. If anything, it just made me realize that I'd failed as a father. I wanted to raise a daughter who would never

have to feel bad about not having a mother. And maybe that's why I went a little overboard in trying to spoil her and making sure that she had everything that she wanted. I was overcompensating and in doing so, I guess I fell kind of behind in actually being a father and disciplining her when I needed to. I just could never bring myself to scold her or punish her, which are equally important aspects of being a parent. So in a way maybe and wasn't that wrong either. I had been selfish and because of my selfishness.

Now both Trisha and I were suffering. I feel bad about everything but what's done is done now. I obviously don't want any money back from Trisha, and I don't think she's going to return it to me either. I don't regret saying it to her. I do think it was important for me to get it out of my system, but I guess I could have been gentler. I don't owe her any apology,

so I'm just going to continue not speaking to her. If she apologizes to me, then that's a different story, but that hasn't happened yet, so I don't know. Update 3, I just received a payment of $2,000 from Trisha. It's been about four days since my last update and we haven't spoken to each other at all in these couple of days, so I don't know what this is about. I told my sister about it and she thinks that this probably has something to do with me telling

her to repay everything that I've done for her in the past couple of years, ever since she became an adult. And I guess that's probably what this is about as well. But I just found it a little off-putting that she just decided to send me money without even saying anything first. So I sent that money right back, I don't want it and I don't need it. What I wanted was an apology, but I'm not going to receive one so I don't need her money either. She hasn't sent it back yet. I don't know what's going to happen now. A few hours have passed since I posted here and just a couple of minutes after I made that update,

Trisha called me and informed me very coldly that she was just doing what I had asked her to. And she wanted me not to make things more difficult than they already were and just accept the money without making such a huge fuss about it. I told her that I didn't want her money and I was just trying to make her feel just as bad as she'd made me feel when I was talking to her on the phone the other day. She could keep her money, I really didn't want it. But she argued with me and told me that after the way I'd insulted her on the call, she didn't feel comfortable owing me money anymore. So I used that same logic and told her that after that Facebook post, where she called me a selfish, broke loser, I also didn't feel comfortable taking back money from her because that, would just reinforce what she already believed about me. We were in a deadlock and after a few seconds of silence, she just sighed and told me that she didn't know what I wanted her to say

anymore and that she was just exhausted from dealing with my weird behavior. I just repeated the same words back to her because that's exactly how I felt about this as well. And once again we were silent for a couple of more seconds, after which Trisha told me that she was ready to talk to me if I wanted to have a genuine discussion about our problems. But otherwise, if I just continued to act like this, then she couldn't see us ever sorting things out. So I told her that I didn't want a discussion, the only thing that I wanted was an apology and if she was ready to apologize, then we could talk. Or else, I had nothing to say to her. Then I disconnected the call and that was it.

She didn't say anything and neither did she text me. I've said whatever I had to say and now, the ball is in her court. Update 4, Hey guys, so it's been a couple of days since I posted here. I still haven't heard from Trisha but Jerry posted about their breakup on social media. I didn't find out myself but my sister was the one who told me since she keeps in touch with our other relatives and they were the ones who saw that post as Trisha had been tagged in it. Apparently, it was mutual, or at least that's what they're telling everybody but I don't buy it. If it actually had been mutual, then Trisha wouldn't have deacted.

all her accounts just within an hour of that post. I know that there's something fishy going on, but I can't exactly ask her what's up, so I just have to figure it out for myself. My sister has a couple of theories, but all of them involve my fight with Trisha. This is why she believes that they probably fought about something related to it, and that's why they broke up. I mean it could be the case, but I really don't think that it is. However, so far I've been wrong about a lot of things so maybe I'm wrong about

this too. I wouldn't even be surprised if I am. I do want to know what happened between Trisha and Jerry and I desperately want to console her because I know she must be feeling like crap right now. But I can't do any of it so I'm just going to ignore it all. Update 5, okay, so today I finally found out what exactly went down between Trisha and Jerry and it's bad. Thankfully, it had nothing to do with me so my sister was wrong about that. and I'm really glad that she was because this is one mess that I'd hate to be a part of. I didn't have to ask Trisha anything, she's the one who offered me an explanation herself a couple of days back. For the record, we're still not on good terms.

I don't know what kind of terms were on for now, so I'm going to not talk about it for a while. Anyway, I'd mentioned earlier that Trisha and Jerry had only known each other for a year. They'd met through friends and Jerry was actually seeing someone when he met Trisha for the first time but broke up soon after. Then, they got together about a month after Jerry broke up with his ex. But a couple of months into the relationship, Trisha found out that he'd been two-timing her and he hadn't actually broken up with his ex. So they had a fight about it but she didn't leave him and chose to stay. She made him promise that he wouldn't have any contact with her again. Then he proposed to her to show her how serious he was about her and she was rushing the marriage

because she wanted to get married and put his ex out of his mind. But recently she found out that he'd been using a secret phone to keep in touch with his ex and this time, she decided to end things with him. This happened just a couple of days ago but Jerry begged her not to publicize the cheating because if she did so, his family would definitely cut him off. He was desperate and so she promised him that she wouldn't talk about it publicly, which is why they put out a statement saying that they were parting ways mutually without revealing the real reason for their breakup.

Trisha told me that she had loki been suspecting that he was up to no good and that is why she'd been so edgy ever since she got engaged. When I told her that I couldn't afford to pay for her wedding, she got really frustrated and ended up saying a lot of horrible things about me but she promised me that she didn't mean any of it. And it was just the ugly side of hers that had come out because of all the stress and frustration. She apologized to me towards the end of that text and told me that she was truly and genuinely sorry about all the things that she said. She added that she didn't expect me to forgive and forget immediately, but she hoped that we'd be able to reconcile in the future and that she tried to be a better daughter and also just a better person in general.

I haven't replied to that message yet because I don't know what to say. I obviously do feel bad for her and I also feel bad for myself. My daughter was the most important person in my life and I feel like I screwed it all up really badly. I definitely am going to reach out to her once I figure out what I'm going to say. I do want to clear the air with her. I want her to know that no matter what, I'll always have her back. And nothing can change that. Update 6, hi, so it's been quite a while since I even opened Reddit but I am finally back now and with great news.

Trisha and I have managed to reconcile and it's going well so far. She apologized to me for everything and I forgave her because she was already so miserable, it'd be wrong to add on to it. She told me that the thing with Jerry really got to her and she started acting out but that was no excuse because she was well aware of the fact that she wasn't the easiest person to deal with even in the past. And I was partly responsible for it because I never scolded her or punished her or tried to shape her into a better human being.

But we're trying to work on our relationship because we know that we need to be there for each other, especially in difficult times like these. I don't want to give up on her and neither does she, so that's why we're going to fix our relationship and stick it out. Now coming to Jerry, I suggested that she posed the truth about what happened anyway. He'd also promised her that he was going to stay loyal to her, but he didn't. So she didn't need to show him any kindness and honor her own promise. either. That guy needed to be taught a lesson and so, on my insistence, Trisha did post the truth.

The two of them ended up getting into a very nasty online fight but it just showed his true character. Because Trisha was not in the wrong here and most people were on her side. Apart from a few girls who just didn't like her and needed an excuse to talk badly about her. She told me that she was glad that I insisted that she speak up and tell everybody the truth because Jerry needed to be taken down and I'm happy that she did it. So for now, we're working on rebuilding our relationship and I won't say that it's all great right now. We're still in the initial stages, but hopefully, we'll have a healthy father-daughter bond soon. She's also going to therapy and trying to make herself a better human being, as a my God knows that both of us needed this. We don't know what

the future holds, but we do know that we're always going to try our best to make it through. I hope you enjoy this story. Father allowed my mother to belay me for an extended period of time. Later, during our familial gathering, he shared with everyone the importance of showing clemency towards those who betray trust. I eventually reached my breaking point and confronted him about it. Father has always been against any confrontation or arguments. He is extremely passive, refuses to stand up for himself, and avoids any conflict.

If someone isn't paying attention while walking and bumps into it, him, he insists it's his own fault. If his employer would mess up his salary, he wouldn't bother fixing it. If a mechanic didn't properly repair his car, he would just accept it as is. This unfortunately resulted in a tumultuous childhood with my insanely narcissistic mother. She controlled his every move. She got him to quit his job and be a locked-in stay-at-home dad. She had him do every chore. She insulted him at every step. She insulted him at every step. She cheated on him relentlessly and even brought APs into our home. She enjoyed making his life miserable every day and he never questioned it.

My extended family, God bless them, were there for me so many times as much as they could be. They tried for years to make my father leave, but he never budged. When she would direct her anger onto myself, in the form of screaming, insulting or general demeaning, my father never once found the guts to stand up for me or support me. When I was a kid if I cried to dad about something mom did or said to me he would sweep it under the rug or just insist I forget about it. Hell he would even try and justify it. As I grew older it really set in for me how messed up this was. My mother gladly kicked me out of the house when I was 18 and my father just sat there and looked sullen.

Didn't say a damn thing. I joined the Air Force almost immediately and got stationed on the other side of the country. The dynamic was awful and I could have easily gone down the Encel route if not for therapy and the amazing people I met along the way. It took years for me to get in a better mental space. I was filled with hatred. My mother left my father two years after I got stationed and utterly destroyed my father in the divorce. She was killed a year later in a DUI with one of her APs.

I took a lot of joy in hearing that it took her hours to die and that's when I really knew I needed help to process things. I'm almost 30 now have a girlfriend who is perhaps the best thing to ever happen in my life and fully understands the situation with my family. I have learned to not allow myself to be consumed with anger and resentment by my past or so I thought you'll see and instead put that energy to my future. I've been extraordinarily low contact slash near no contact with my father since I left as much as I try. I cannot make that connection with him. I recently went to a family reunion and brought my girlfriend with me. My father was there as it was his side of the family. They have many issues with him, but he is family.

So whatever I guess I made sure to avoid him. I was chatting with my uncles when I heard my father talk in the background. He was discussing how a co-worker of his was going through a divorce as he discovered his wife was having an affair and was positioned to have a very favorable divorce on his side. My father remarked how his co-worker should work instead to forgive his wife and by his own word set a good example for unity and forgiveness and how he believed he set a great example for me in that extent. I swear it was like a switch went off in my head and I was mentally back to being the rage-filled 18-year-old all these years and he never learned a damn thing.

I turned to him and asked if he was fucking serious. He looked at me and he looked at me and he, and started to stutter. I know the next minute was pure word vomit and I can't relay it perfectly. But to sum it up, I shouted how he was a pathetic father, pathetic man. His family all know he's a disgrace of a human being who would rather his son be treated like shit than defend him because he's a fucking coward. No one would ever see him as an example to live by. His wife would rather fuck half the neighborhood than even touch him and he should never

ever believe anyone respects him. I began to derail and ramble between my shouting and my girlfriend quickly took me out and drove me home. It was insane just how quickly being away from him made me feel better. She just held me when we got back and told me it's okay. Again, best thing to ever happen to me. I was ashamed of how I lost it and I'm now going to resume my therapy. That's a given. However, I'm glad I finally unloaded a always needed to be said onto him.

Extended family is pretty mixed with reactions. His brothers slash my uncle said it was time for him to hear it from me. My grandparents are pissed. I did that in front of the entire extended family with some saying I should have done that behind closed doors instead of everyone comments where Op has replied mesmerizing Taylor. It sounds like you finally got to express the pent-up feelings you've carried for so long while the outburst was an ideal. It seems like it was a necessary step towards healing.

It's good your resuming therapy to process this further. Goop. Yeah. Afterwards it hit me that although it was very cathartic, it definitely wasn't the most appropriate way to handle it. Lowell never too much thought. He sounds like a gentle kind and well-meaning person. You directed what is very clearly anger and resentment for your mother at him.

It's a bit more complicated than being a little. an asshole or not. You seem to have got some catharsis out of it. I just don't believe he is the one you really wanted to scream at. And from the sounds of it, he was also a victim of your mother too. And while he was the adult and should have known better, he obviously didn't being non-confrontational isn't some character flaw. It's psychological and he probably needs therapy himself screaming at him and demeaning him actually sounds like something your mother probably did slash would do. and I worry about you if that is something that actually made you feel better about yourself. Goop. Yes, I fully admit he was a victim of my mother. But he was a victim who had a support system he never wanted to use.

He fully let me be a victim my entire childhood because apparently it was too much effort to try. And to this day doesn't believe he needs therapy. Never too much thought. All I can say is based on your post and this interaction. is your anger is deeply misguided and you're failing to recognize the truly horrifying thing. You're behaving like the mother you actually should hate. Goop. Oh, trust me. I fully hate her as well, but she is gone and there is no use in holding a grudge against a dead person. I had hoped, though, after his son making him an outsider in his life his family openly joking face-to-face about his failings as a father and his ex-wife training him for everything he had

in making him start over in a one-bedroom apartment. His friends slowly leaving his life one at a time out of embarrassment that he would have maybe have at least one moment to reflect and maybe consider he should have done things differently. Update 1. Thanks for the advice and recommendations even among some of the UTA. However, some of them needed to be addressed because they were either hilarious or cringe-worthy one.

Some of them were very angry and they kind of confused me at first until I saw their comments further down or saw their profile and saw a rants about double standards or complete non-sequitur ramblings about women. So yeah, not helpful advice and there were great dark reflections about how I could have turned out if not for the support in my life too. Some attempted to portray my dad as a humble kind, caring, sensitive old man who I'm just being a big bully too. This was a very good insight into how enablers of abuse get away with so much in today's worlds because so many people forget how they're part of the abuse themselves. 3. Some were attempting to mentally dissect me or have a gotcha moment with me to pull apart my story.

That was generally asinine and I had to step away from those before they asked for my cranial measurements or something. So it was pretty much immediately when I was up the next morning that I realized I needed to resolve the events of last night. I first spoke to my girlfriend and gave a sincere apology for having her see me like that. She reassured me that nothing was wrong. She'd known me for years and has always known me to be level-headed and understands why I kind of snapped. She herself has a history of dealing with narcissistic family.

So she absolutely understands the dynamic. She only really told me that it would be best to work on spending time around my extended family since my father will always be there. I told her, don't worry. I'm immediately going to talk to them afterwards to. figure that out. So that part's fine. Look like kind of an ass in front of her. But I'm making sure that doesn't happen again. I also informed of her my intentions to resume more therapy just to keep myself steady, which she was happy to hear. I called my grandparents and sincerely

apologized as well for putting such a sore dent into their family reunion that it wasn't appropriate. And while I still feel it felt good to say that to him, it should have been privately and not in front of everyone. I also told them that going forward as much as I love spending time with them, since the family always hangs out in one group that my father will always be in for now until I can handle being around him. I need to distance myself occasionally until I feel comfortable interacting. I told them that I am nor would I ever be establishing an ultimatum or demands of them. And that either way I need to step back. I guess during my apology and explanation, I was kind of just going on a tangent because my grandfather interrupted me to calm down. He told me that after I left,

people kind of separated or slowly started leaving and they eventually were able to talk to my father one-on-one. I guess seeing me have such a freak out resulted in my grandmother having a mini freak out of her own when she started talking to my father, resulting in her kicking him out. While I have a great relationship with both, my grandmother has always been extra protective of me. So seeing me that way must have set off a fire in her. My grandfather then said that it has become a bit of an open family secret. My father's failing. His brothers taught him about it and generally don't have a great relationship with him. And for my grandparents, it's always just uneasy. Seeing me the other day and how it still affects me so much has really liked in for a lot

of people that it was really bad. They began to try and say sorry if they didn't do enough, which I very adamantly retorted that they did more than what anyone could have expected. It was very emotional for a minute, but culminated in then telling me that they have decided to distance themselves from my father for the time being and have given him the ultimatum that unless he has a deep introspective and regularly goes to therapy, that distance may become permanent. My extended family, I've been told, are going to try and reach out or call or whatever, but I asked them if they could relate to them that it's not necessary and that I'm fine and I'm sorry to them as well for ruining the day, which again, they told me I shouldn't

apologize for being hurt. Since then, extended family have sent some messages with the general consensus that it's okay with some older members complaining about my lack of respect towards my father. And finally, I texted my father hoping to meet at a local coffee shop and have a final talk. I met him and he didn't look good. I think his parents, tearing into him finally got the message through. I had so many things I could have said, but I instead asked him first thing if the coworker he gave the advice to took it well. He just said that neither him nor several coworkers interact with him anymore.

I asked him if he truly 100% believes that every single thing he did for me as a child was for my benefit. He didn't really say anything. I then finally asked if he has any regrets for how I was treated as a child and if he thinks he ever did anything wrong. He looked utterly defeated and just mumbled that he could have done more. I could have poked and prodded and could have gone on another rant. But instead, I told him this should be goodbye and I hope he gets the help he needs. I think finally unloading my frustrations was what I needed to finally be able to move on and find peace. I absolutely need to keep on track for

therapy and admit that a public bitching moment isn't okay, but I should be fine update to things have progressed over the last couple weeks. And I now have broader context about my family. Long sorry short is there was a lot hidden from me. My father was an absolute asshole to his family and that's why the treat him the way they do. I got a lot of feedback, including the compilation posts. And one thing that stood out was people questioning if my extended family could have contributed it to the abuse. And that's why he was so feeble. And since I was trying to work on my relationship with my family, I figured it was tight to ask the hard questions before going that far. I met with my dad's brothers who invites me out to a popular lunch spot. For context and clarity, Dale is the

oldest brother. He is married and has a daughter and a son. My father is the second oldest self-explanatory. John is the second youngest also married with a son. Bill is the youngest married with three daughters. So anyways, we met up and I ripped the band-aid off asking about my father growing up what he was like beyond the basics. I know and what really is going on with their relationship. Dale sighed and basically summed up that besides what I know, there is a lot of backstory.

I'm unfamiliar with that. They never told me about simply because of that. it was never the tyke nor the place to what I've always known is that my father was fairly normal. When he was young, a little shy, but fantastic academically, played sports occasionally, had a close-knit relationship with his brothers, and meeting my mom in high school junior year made everything go downhill. What I didn't know was that my father was a guiding figure for his two younger brothers was generally seen as one of the nicest people with a bright future ahead of him. My grandparents adored him and he even became a little bit of a golden child,

but no one minded. The reason his family doesn't respect him is what happened to his behavior. When my mother got attached to him, it first started simple. My mother acted rude and distant to the family. They weren't huge fans, but my father loved her, so they tolerated it. She became possessive and slowly isolated my father and convinced him to give up his ambitions and goals. Family became concerned and spent a long time trying to talk to him and convince him to leave. My father didn't budge and began to lash out. When I was born, my extended family tried to talk to my father about my mother's attitude. My father was angry and threatened to report them for harassment. She was in denial about her behavior when Dale's wife was having fertility issues.

My mother messaged her appalling and cruel things. When Dale was pissed and went to talk to my father, he told Dale to drop it and even justified it. Dale punched him and police almost got involved. Dale hated him going forwards. John grew to hate him when my mother insulted his son due to mild physical disabilities. My father cracked a joke about what she said. John hated him. And finally Bill, who always idolized my father, tried to inform my father that my mother

made a pass at him and urged divorce. My father responded with a maddening call of utter hate and relationship-ending words. to sum it all up. The more time my father spent with my mother, the more he began to repeat her attitude. When they all signs of abuse to me and tried to intervene, my father threatened to lie, to accuse them of worse things. My mother had money and lawyers and could make their lives hell if they tried and my father would gladly let her. They were stuck and could only do so much at a time the older members of the family like the grandparents, great hun and uncles and such, believe in the traditional mindset of family sticking together no matter what.

While the generations further down want to keep a distance from him, they're all stuck between and rock in a hard place there's more they told me out. It was all essentially that my father died on the hill for my mom, ruining his relationship with his brothers in the process. And when she died and destroyed him, he probably had to realize it was always. for nothing. My grandparents seemed to not want to accept the fact that he was lost, or maybe they hope he can fix his life. Who knows? This was a lot to process and was only confirmed by my father himself when he called my to ask about family therapy with us. I curted the chase and asked if what I heard was true. He said yes. I would have agreed to maybe some family therapy,

but now I have no idea. Update 3. I came to to the decision that it was time to cut off my father for good. The more I learned about how he was, the more I came to the realization that nothing good would come out of having him in my life. I'm also going to put some minor distance between myself and extended family on his side until I can process things more. There's just a lot of things to work through there. I met up with my father one last time in a coffee shop to talk things over. I asked him one last time. Why? Why did he do a all this. Why did he let his wife treat everyone like shit? Why did he treat his family and me like

shit for her? Why did he do all this? He tried to weasel his way out, but I absolutely demanded to know and he basically answered that it was because he loved her. Yep, it was that stupid of an answer. He loved her and just clung on to her no matter what she did. No matter how much she hurt him or others. He was an insecure man who just latched himself on the first woman who showed him attention. Even when she slowly destroyed his life, he thought it was better than trying again. I just got up and told him to fix his life, but I won't be a part of it. And I hope he has the sense to understand why. No matter how he tried to word it. I had two abusive parents. He didn't say anything. Just stared at me. Which leads to

last night. I got a call from my grandparents that the night before my dad tried to call his brothers and make peace. Unfortunately, from what they said, he did it in the most half-assed avoidant way possible, sparing himself any guilt. That didn't go well. After recent events and old wounds being dug up, they gave him a verbal lashing that made mine look microscopic in comparison. My dad hung up and lost his shit. Decimated his entire apartment before packing up what was left before driving off. They only found out because one of the brothers came to check up on him. From what they can tell from the few texts they have. He's lost his mind after decades of shit and is driving off to the other side of the country to start fresh also.

From the minimum communication they have with him, he's acting incredibly vile towards them. And they say he seems to be acting just like my mother edit. Things are progressing slash spiraling very quickly and I'm expecting this whole insanity parade to come to a conclusion within a few days at this rate. Won't make any real update until I have all the facts, but I'm just glad I made the decision to move on update for January 9, 2025. For those who stuck around, I'd say it's over and about as wrapped up as can be my girlfriend slash fiancé and I are getting married later this year. My father is alive. He lost his shit and spiraled, but a couple weeks later came back. His apartment

barred him from coming back and are going after him for legal and financial damages. He has no job anymore. He is staying with my grandparents. He has hit the absolute lowest point and has finally taken responsibility for his life, his choices and his damaged relationships. It's too late for a lot of the family, but his parents are seemingly giving some help since he's finally trying to fix things. However, the extended family as a whole has kind of blown up.

My father kind of became a mascot for deeper family issues that have become worse over time. There are far too many to go over when he finally got called out. Everyone figured there was no use in ignoring everything else going on. Minor feuds have formed. Some people aren't talking to each other. Some have entered marriage counseling and family therapy. People don't want to live by the but family lifestyle. anymore. My fiancé and I have decided to distance ourselves. We were kind of disappointed seeing how

since her family is insanely toxic. We could lean on mine, but I've come to realize mine has far too many issues to be reliable. We have a fantastic group of friends, so we will be fine. And that's about it. I'm going to be wrapping this up and moving on to a far less bitter lifestyle. I'll stick around for a little longer to elaborate on anything if anyone wants. I hope you enjoy this story. Acquaintance sibling harassed me for two decades. Consequently, I eventually retorted to her taunts, and currently a portion of our social circle expects me to express regret. However, I declined and stood my ground. Started a huge fight. Background, my 33F, friend Beth, 34F, has an older sister Jill, 38F, who has hated me since we first met.

She always called me a weirdo freak and said I deserve the bullying I got at school because I was a such a dork. I stopped visiting Beth's house because of Jill and didn't see her again until Beth's 18th birthday, where she told people that I was harassing her boyfriend. I'd literally said hello to him and that was it, because I was too ugly and weird to attract my own guy. Thankfully, she moved away not long after and I was just glad to be rid of her. Now, Beth and I arranged a dinner reservation with the other three in our group, Liz, 33F, Kelly, 34F, and Megan, 34F. This was our first real chance to see each other in over two years, due to a number of reasons, and we were all looking forward for a chance to catch up.

Beth offered to drive me and Kelly with her to the restaurant, since neither of us can drive and I have CFS and several types of chronic pain so traveling isn't easy for me. We caught a bus to Beth's flat together, but it was Jill who answered the door which shocked us both. Beth hadn't told us Jill was visiting, and we'd have appreciated a heads-up since neither of us have good history with Jill. Still, we were polite. Kelly said hello and complimented Jill's dress, and I said hi Jill, Nice to see you. How have you been? Jill completely ignored Jelly and turned to me and said,

Better than you, clearly, still a pale freak, aren't you? I couldn't help it and snapped at her that at least I'm not a bitter hag still clinging to grudges I started with a 12-year-old. Maybe it's time you grew up a bit. Jill immediately ran off screaming for Beth and said she's not taking us anywhere until that CT apologizes which confused me in Kelly because why would she be taking us anywhere. That was when Beth came out and revealed her car was broken so Jill was meant to be driving us and I shouldn't have been cruel to her sister and that's just Jill's humor. Kelly called bullshit and said Jill is a bully and she only surprised I hadn't snapped years ago and told me I'd better not apologize.

I said I had no intention to. Beth said, well, you can make your own way to the restaurant then and kicked us out. Kelly and I called Liz and Megan to update them and say we'd be running late since we now had to pay for a cab and they, are split. Liz thought I should just apologize because Beth is siding with Jill and it would cut the tension. But Megan thought this was long overdue and Jill had it coming and Beth needs to accept her sister's actions have consequences. In the end, I refused to apologize and we got a taxi, only to find out Beth was refusing to join us over what I said to Jill. This was a week ago, and Beth is now refusing to speak to any of us other than Liz, who told her she said I was at fault,

until I apologize to her sister. Ida. Comments Beth and Jill, thank you. Liz and Beth's reactions to this whole thing had me feel I was going insane, and Kelly and I were both really confused about why Beth didn't warn us beforehand. She knows our history with Jill isn't pleasant. TBH, I'm seriously considering cutting Beth off for her. this if she keeps reacting this way, thank you for your comment. Writing this all out has made me

realize I have been too forgiving of Beth over the years especially where Jill is concerned. I think I will be cutting ties with her for sure. Their history, thank you for your comment. I said this in another reply, but Beth and I have been friends since I was 12 and she was one of the few people in our year group who didn't bully me. Since Liz, Megan and Kelly are all friends with her as well, it's been easier to just put up with her. It's getting ridiculous now and I'm seriously considering cutting Beth off for this and just dealing with a fallout. Who TF holds on to 30-year drama? It's honestly bizarre, but this is exactly the same as she acted when we were in school.

I do not understand her at all or what she hoped to get out of this. Nobody did anything when it was a 17-year-old picking on a 12-year-old. Yay, Beth and Jill's family acting like it was harmless fun. and my own family were so caught up with the in-school bullying I didn't tell them about Jill's comments. Because honestly, compared to what I faced at school it was so minor. I've definitely had my eyes opened about Beth and Liz cause of this, and I am thinking it's time to cut them off, Beth definitely, Liz, I will give a final chance to apologize. What's so great about being her friend anyway? I've been sad thinking about your questions for the last few minutes and I'm sad to say I cannot

think of a single thing I have missed about Beth in the two years since we last saw each other. Our group. Sure, plenty, but Beth herself, no. As we've grown older we've clashed more and more, especially about my health and I bit my ton a lot for the sake of our group, but I think I need to have a quiet word with Meg and Kelly to let them know I'll be cutting contact with Beth and Liz. Sure, Acadia 43. 76. NTA. She is a bully and always was. Do not apologize under any circumstances. Beth knows exactly who her sister is and still sided with her when Jill was clearly in the wrong. Shame on Beth.

Unrepentant squirrel, Beth didn't have your back, and she is not a good friend. She is an ah, Jill is an awe, and you deserve better. Unrepentant squirrel, and I should have added, Beth isn't just an a-hole for not having your back, it is also inexcusable that she ever allowed her sister to talk to like that, and baffling that she expected you to apologize. It always hurts to lose a friend, but you are truly better off without Beth in your life. Matt Davies, Op Beth has been this way for 21 years and nothing has changed. What makes you think it'll change now?

Borrettatham, 1962 NTA. She can give it, but she can't take it. That sort you don't apologize to. And Beth is an A2. Gosh what a pair. 38 and running to 34 because another 34 was mean to her. This is a playground dispute and you called it.

I'd be wary of Beth. She caused this by not telling you Jill was going to be there. Sure, Acadia 4376. Agreed, and then she backed up her sister who was clearly in the wrong. I almost hate to say this but one thing I've realized over the past few years is that the people who tell us you not to apologize because it's a sign of weakness have a point. I used to think that it was some borderline sociopathic power play thing, but really it's just about not being walked on. In this case, Op did nothing wrong, so apologizing would just be admitting I'm a doormat and you

can walk all over me. Don't get me wrong, if you did something that merits an apology you should apologize, but don't do it just to keep the peace or some nonsense. Update, hi folks, a lot of you asked me to update after my last post to let you know what I decided to do. Thank you to all the commenters who let me know I was not going crazy. Liz and Beth's insistence that I apologize was making me second guess myself, so I appreciate your help. Most of you also pointed out Beth's reaction was enabling Jill, and Liz's reaction was expecting me to roll over in the name of keeping the peace. I've come to realize that this has been a pattern for years in our group, playing peacekeeper to Beth and Liz for the good of the group, not only for me, but for Megan and Kelly as well.

So, the update. I still haven't heard from Beth, but Liz has been bombarding me with texts and voicemails saying I was out of order and owe all three of them apologies for how I acted and for continuing to drag things out. She even suggested as a way to start making it up I should take everyone, including Jill, to a restaurant and pay for everything. I have no desire to spend what would be a month's rent on their drinks bill alone, not to mention I don't feel I've done anything wrong. Frankly, that she even suggested this only persuaded me more to cut her off. I met up with Megan and Kelly last night and told them that I'm not apologizing to Jill,

frankly, she's stuck in her high school mean girl and I'd be glad never to see her again. I also said I am sick of swallowing my feelings to avoid tension because Liz and Beth never apologize and I am cutting contact with Beth and Liz. I was expecting protests about breaking up the group. I did not expect Megan to admit she's only stuck with Liz for so long because, like me with Beth, Liz was one of her only friends during her bullied years and she didn't want to ruin our dynamic by acting out of turn. Or for Kelly to say that for years she's been sick of Liz and Beth treating the three of us like were inferior but and she was worried if she spoke up about it, she'd lose me and Megan as well.

We all had a very overdue chat about how we all really feel about this group and agreed that Beth and Liz are not true friends to any of us. Kelly and Megan showed me their messages from Beth and Liz, basically painting me as some kind of demon hellbent on ruining their lives. I had to laugh at the one from Liz reminding them both of how I ruined her wedding by not attending due to my selfish, selfish emergency surgery. This was five years ago and I'm only now hearing that I ruin things, because some guests asked after my head. health at the reception and drew attention away from her big day. Clearly, I am an awful person for this. Anyway, we are completely cutting contact. We've saved our messages just in case, because I don't see Jill, Beth or Liz disappearing

quietly from our lives once they realize we're not going to play ball, but in the meantime, we're planning a zoo trip next week, so we'll enjoy a day out free of drama. Comments, Aquavanatus, it's amazing what communication can reveal. That being said, it's obvious that Jill, Beth, and Liz have been keeping up this charade for years and have been benefiting from it. Now, that everything has been revealed to Op, Kelly, and Megan, those three can cut off the other three for good and enjoy their lives without the unnecessary drama. Corgi Huntress, good. For you This is truly a positive update because you three have a lot of happy times to look forward to.

NTA, Harry Potter Freak 23, in all honesty, I would change all of your numbers, that way you don't have to worry about them harassing you by them using other numbers. To get a hold of you, sleepy, sleepy chick-op, thank you for this suggestion, I'll pass it on to Kelly and Megan as well. At the moment, I have just blocked Liz and Beth, as otherwise I need to update all my medical stuff, work, friends and family, etc., and would prefer not to have that hassle. If they do start harassing me, though, then I won't hesitate to change my number. Queen Legolas, great job standing up for yourself. But be warned, they'll throw a big fuss, possibly online. You might deal with some flying monkeys. Sleepy, sleepy chick-op, thank you, we are battening down the hatches just in case.

I'm anticipating flying monkeys and have warned my family and other friends of what's up in case anyone tries getting at me through them. Luckily, other than an old FB page I used to keep in touch with a few friends and family abroad, my social media is pretty non-existent, so coming at me online isn't going to be easy. Kelly and Megan are both more active, though, and are already removing contacts and blocking people known to side with Beth and Liz. We're doing what we can to stay ahead of things. Macaroni underscore Rascal 42, I was over being a teenager when I was a teenager,

I'll never understand fully grown adults who still act like immature children with an undeveloped frontal lobe. Kazoo 2324, I will never jeopardize the beans. For some people, that is their literal peak. In high school, they were attractive, popular, people liked them, or didn't want to be bullied by them, which makes these people think they're incredible people. Once they've lost those things or other people outgrow them or get tired of their shit, they've lost everything because again, that's all they had. So they hold on to their glory days thinking,

Look, I'm just as awesome as I was in high school, everyone else is wrong. Now on to the next story. Story two. Wife suddenly wanted a divorce, then I discovered their affair and exposed it to their boss and got them both fired. Now she's jobless, her new guy wants to leave her and she's begging for my help. I'm a 31-year-old guy, and I've been in a relationship with my soon-to-be ex-wife, who's 28, for seven years.

We were married for five of those years. We both had jobs that made us think kids weren't in our plans, but we had so many other amazing plans for our future. Throughout the seven years we were together, we never had any disagreements about the direction we wanted to take or the goals we had for our future. So, back in February, my wife started a new job, and that's when she met this guy, her co-worker, who's 38 years old. After her two-week training, she came home, and I noticed that she was chatting a lot with this guy. I've never been a jealous person, and I understand that our industry is male-dominated, so she's often surrounded by guys. I always trusted her and never

questioned her loyalty or boundaries. However, I couldn't help but notice that she was texting this guy a lot. In March, I brought it up twice, expressing my concerns. but she reassured me that he's just a friend and I shouldn't worry. They had common interests, like being Christians, and they chatted a lot about the Bible, I'm not religious. She even said that she would stop talking to him if I felt uncomfortable. But I knew they were going for training together again at the end of March. I realized it would be impossible to stop her from talking to him, so I didn't push the issue further.

I always made sure to check in with my wife to see if she was happy in our marriage or if there was anything I could do to improve things. I never received any negative feedback from her, and even as recently as mid-March, she was telling me that I was the best thing that ever happened to her. However, things took a turn when she left for a month of job training in a different location at the end of March. In the first few days, everything seemed normal between us, but as the week progressed, we started to fight a lot. I'll admit, some of it was my fault because I was going through some personal stuff and was feeling quite emotional. But there was something else bothering me too.

She seemed distant and expressed some strange ideas about the future that didn't sound like her at all. This made me feel uneasy because we used to hardly ever argue about anything. I can't even remember the last time we had a big fight before April. It's been a confusing and challenging time for both of us. I felt really bad about arguing with her because I knew how important it was for her. The main issue we were fighting about was her not maintaining clear boundaries with this guy from work, and it was obvious to me that he was interested in her romantically. Then, she brought up the need for space and time to think about our relationship and our future.

She assured me that she still loved me, but things weren't the same anymore. I was confused, but I respected her request for space because I didn't fully understand what was going on. After a couple of days, she dropped a bombshell of divorce during a FaceTime conversation. It was devastating, and at that moment, I still didn't have a clear grasp of the situation, but deep down, I had a gut feeling that she might be leaving with this other guy. It's been a roller coaster of emotions and uncertainty for me. When she finally returned home in mid-May, I went to the airport to pick her up. As soon as I saw her, something felt off.

She didn't even give me a hug after not seeing each other for a month and a half. When we got home, she didn't bother unpacking her luggage. That first night, she looked me in the eyes and told me directly that she wanted a divorce and that she no longer loved me. It was incredibly tough and hurtful, but I was still holding on to the hope that maybe our arguments and my emotional ups and downs had contributed to her feelings, so I tried to work things out. But the very next day, she started acting differently. She claimed she wanted to clean the house and create nice memories for the last couple of days before she left. I sense

something wasn't right, and I felt like she was hiding things from me, so for the first time in seven years, I went through her phone. There, I discovered that even before she came back home, she was already in a relationship with that co-worker guy, and they had even signed a lease to move in together. This was just a month and a half after she had left home at the end of March. She had told this guy that she was willing to give up everything to start anew with him. It was a devastating revelation, and it left me feeling even more hurt and confused. I still feel terrible to this day for going through her phone because it's something I had never done in our relationship before, and I felt like I had crossed a line.

However, at that moment, I decided to take screenshots of her conversations with the co-workers and acted like nothing happened, just to see how far she would go with all the lies she had been telling me. For the following days, I kept asking her questions about her and this co-worker, but I never got any honest answers. Finally, that night when we were talking, I got really frustrated and angry, and I started pressing her for the truth. She turned it around and blamed me for my own issues, saying that's why we could never be together. Even during our heated arguments, she continued to lie. Eventually, she decided to leave that night, and as soon as she was gone, I sent her all the screenshots I had taken and told her that I already knew everything.

I admitted that I was testing her to see how far she would go with her deception. She then claimed that they only started their relationship after she brought up divorce, so she argued that it wasn't cheating. She also said that she had been wanting out of the relationship for a long time but was just waiting for the right moment because she perceived me as controlling and abusive. Seeing her leave and knowing it might be the last time I see her was one of the hardest moments in my life. I kept asking her to be honest with me and show some respect for our marriage until the

very end. She had been an amazing wife for seven years, and it's tough for me to understand how she could change so drastically in such a short period of time. I'm still left with a lot of confusion and questions. After she moved out, I didn't waste any time and hired a lawyer to file for divorce. She didn't want any of the belongings I got her, the house, the cars, or any financial support. She just wanted to end things. It's not a decision I wanted to make, but I couldn't risk her changing her mind, so I went ahead with the divorce process. I already

have the signed paperwork back, so it's in progress now. It's been a tough journey, but I'm trying to stay strong and move forward. I wanted to make sure she learned a valuable lesson, but before I walked away for good. What she did was hurtful, and I was feeling really upset. So, I decided to act without causing any harm to my own character. I gathered all the screenshots of her conversations with her co-worker and put them into a PDF. Then, I sent it to their boss. My hope was that this would help them understand the consequences of their actions and treat

others with more respect in the future. And just like that, the both of them got fired from the company. a perfect way to start their love story. Even though I'm still hurt by her cheating, I didn't want to stoop to her level and ruin my own reputation in the process. It's been two months since she told me she wanted a divorce, and I'm happy to say that I'm doing a lot better now. My soon-to-be ex has been trying to contact me begging for mercy. She told me she's been having trouble being able to find a job since and the guy she moved in with his having second thoughts on breaking up with her since he lost his job because of her. If she thinks I will help her in any way then she's absolutely nuts. During this time, I've been trying to focus on myself and work towards building a new life and becoming a better person. I understand that neither of us was perfect, nor our relationship had its flaws. But what hurt me the most was how quickly everything changed.

In less than two months, she went from being in our marriage to being in a new relationship and now living together with this person. It's been hard to grasp how often. all the memories we shared, the things we built together, and the plans we had for the future could seemingly vanish overnight because of someone new in her life. However, I've come to realize that dwelling on the past won't help me move forward. Instead, I want to focus on the positive aspects of my life and the opportunities that lie ahead. I'm learning to accept that some things are beyond my control, and I'm determined

to create a bright future for myself. I believe that as time goes on, I'll heal, and new adventures and joys will come my way. I hope you enjoy this story. I possess evidence that my partner intends to be unfaithful shortly after popping the question, according to online anecdotes. Me, a woman aged 33, along with my betrothed, a man aged 33, in a relationship of three years, discovered his intentions. Settled for me.

Really confused on how to proceed. My fiancé, Tom, and I have been together for three years and got engaged only one week ago. One of Tom's closest friends Adam has never liked me. This is probably because Adam is really flirtatious with every girl he meets, single or not, and sleeps around a lot. When Tom first introduced me to his friends Adam flirted pretty heavily with me but I told him I was here with his friend and it was inappropriate. Tom found out later about this and seemed amused because Adam flirts with everyone because that's just Adam, but seemed to appreciate me telling him to back off. Ever since then Adam and I have had a bit of a strained but civil relationship.

Adam isn't creepy and he did back off, but he still flirts heavily with his friend's SOS to the point of complimenting their breasts or butts and he gets away with it because he's charming, rich. Always hosts parties and things and lends his friends shiny new toys or let's them stay at various holiday houses or buys expensive booze, etc. I know all of this because he talks a lot about all this when it's just me and the guys at Tom's place because I live there most days of the week. To note, my job requires some out-of-state travel every week and I still have my own apartment that I bought but rent out rooms. Now, a few days ago Tom was out of town

and I rescued his dog from a fire that started on his neighbor's property. I also got his laptop and a few other heirlooms out, anyway, the fire was contained to the neighbor's property so I didn't do anything really, but there was a lot of smoke so I took his dog to the vet, everything was fine. By the time Tom got a flight back home things were sorted. Two days later, before heading out to a New Year's Eve party at Adams Place, Tom proposed saying that he'd always known I was the one but this made him realize that he wanted to start this year knowing next year we'd be married. I said yes and spent two days ecstatic. And until Adam called me out of the blue saying we needed to talk.

He showed me text messages from three years ago talking about how Tom had settled for me because this really super beautiful girl that he'd slept with a few times had ended up starting a relationship with someone else and stopped seeing him. The messages talk about how she's the one and when he met me, I was no Megan but not bad but that I seemed keen in marriage material. They talked for months about how much hotter Megan is and even made fun of me for telling Adam off the first time because Adam wouldn't date his friends' sOS. So they weirdly agreed it was a good sign I wouldn't cheat even though I seemed a bit bitchy. Then Tom started going on about how I

had an unusually high libido and got the congratulatory high five from Adam but again, not flattering to me. Tom made a remark about how I must have been around the block and that he didn't usually like used goods but sex was worth it. This was over the course of six months, two years ago. They kind of tear out into generic relationship stuff about how he can't come out because he's got plans with me, etc., and then Adam talks about how whipped he is, etc., and then I get to the following message. About a day ago Tom sent Adam a text about how Megan was single and seemed interested in him with Facebook screenshots of the conversation he had with her. He was really excited about this. She initiated messaging him after he posted a sympathetic comment on her relationship status change from a week

ago and she messaged him. When she asked him what was new, he did not mention he was engaged. She talks about the good times and confesses she should have chosen him. He admits he was also devastated and thought they were good together and still no mention of me. The caption on the screenshots he sent Adam was, What Do You Think? And she's into me. Adam has responded with hell yeah. I think you have a chance, etc., and no mention of me at all. Tom's responded with I know right. Nothing further. I was pretty upset at this point so Adam left because I asked. I then logged into Tom's Facebook. I guessed his password was the same as his email, I was right, to check their conversation and they went on to make plans to catch up in a

week when I'll be out of town and she may be flying in to catch up with people and look at moving back after her breakup. He then poked fun at her current city and tells her she should move back can let him know if she needs anything. She tells him he's sweet, but she has to go now. She's initiating all this, but he's not shutting anything down or even telling her he's engaged. Up till this point, I've never even heard about Megan. They don't have more Facebook messages before that except for three years ago. Looks like she didn't contact him while she was seeing this other guy.

I've been staying at my place making up excuses and just replying to texts, but I feel really numb. I called Adam and asked him why he told me all this when he didn't even like me and was going behind Tom's back. He told me it was the right thing to do by me and that Tom should be with Megan, he was clearly still into her and I could do better, wasn't I grateful he didn't stay silent about this before I married him? He said I may as well hear it from him because I didn't like him anyway. I said, thanks for letting me know and that I had a lot to think about. I am so confused, I feel used, upset and like the last three years are a lie. I feel like breaking up with Tom but then I'm also still weirded out by Adam and his motives. I have no idea what to do. More info, I'm not going to go for the sunken cost fallacy.

I've been thinking a lot and it's not going to work out. I'm first going to get my stuff out of Tom's place under the guise of New Year's cleaning. There are things there I want back. Also, Tom's Facebook and mine are rarely updated. But he comments a lot. He is more active on Twitter and WhatsApp. I barely use mine, it's mostly work people and family I don't like or high school people. My friends use WhatsApp or Snapchat.

About Megan, I don't blame her. She did ask him what was new in his life. He replied not much. People can't be stolen if they don't want to. If she's okay hooking up with an engaged guy, then they deserve each other. Maybe she likes the validation. In any case, I'll let her know about me anyway. And yeah, I'm not going to dump him before his date.

I don't get Adam at all. Why is he so vested in getting Megan with Tom, and why is he willing to risk alienating Tom and potentially the friends group by coming to me? I don't think he's into me. He has no trouble with women and so far. hasn't actually slept with his friends s.os. Just flirted. I've also seen pictures of Megan, so why'd he come after me when he could tell her Tom is engaged and looking to cheat? Whatever, I need some distance from him too. Ard, I'm cycling through a lot of emotions right now. I'm kind of focusing on work at the moment. Update, I've had the weirdest few weeks ever.

I didn't go back to Tom's place after the revelation and just blamed work and plumbed. issues and then left for my work trip. The only time I did see him was in group things and just a few car rides and stuff. Then before I left, I messaged Megan on Facebook and told her that Tom was engaged to me, he just proposed a few days ago, and the rest was up to Megan never responded and as far as I could see, never even saw the message. And Adam texted and called me asking when I was going to break up with Tom. Now, I was really suspicious of Adam so I just told him that I was still thinking about things and that I'd figure something out when I got back. Adam then called me telling me that these guys, his friend group, were users and leeches

and Tom was no exception, he was just using me. I told him that I wasn't going to be collateral damage in whatever issue he had with his friends and besides, he was the one letting them leach off him for so many years anyway. I ignored him after that. I still don't know what's going on inside his head. Anyway, I had decided to let the date between Tom and Megan happen and come back for my trip early without telling Tom to break up with him, and this is where things got a bit crazy. You see, on the Friday that the date was scheduled to occur, I got a call from Megan who had arrived in my city, caught up with some mutual acquaintances, and found out that Tom was engaged. She then got my phone number from them and called

me to tell me that my fiancé was cheating on me. I told her I already knew and told her to check her FB. She said it was sweet of me to warn her, I told her she was really decent for letting me know and she then told me I deserved better. Apparently, her last relationship also ended due to cheating so she was really furious at her ex, Tom, and men in general and we ended up talking for ages. I even jokingly said that I could see why Tom was so into her because she was really pretty and kind and then she told me Tom was an idiot for ruining something with me and the only thing he had going was good taste in women. I was really expecting the worst from her, but she really

surprised me with how decent she was. So then I told her not to cancel the date, I was coming back early anyway, and let's surprise him by walking in together. She really loved that idea, I think mostly because she was mad at her ex, and here was Tom being scummy so we agreed to meet me at the airport when I came in. Then I'm not sure what happened but a few hours before I was due to board my flight, I get a text from Tom telling me he missed me and asked if there was any way I could finish my trip early because he wanted to talk to me. I then got a call from Megan about 15 minutes later saying that Tom had canceled the date and she sent me this screenshot of him explaining that he was really attracted to her,

but he was engaged and he was doing the wrong thing and they shouldn't see each other and apologized for making her come down. Megan didn't come down for Tom, she was just going to catch up on her original trip so she was pissed off that he'd even think that she came down for him. The way it was phrased made it seem like he wouldn't be able to control himself if he was around Megan or something. I really didn't want to see Tom at this point, so I told Megan she was out on a dinner thanks to me, so I take her out as a thank you.

Long story short, because I don't vividly remember, I got home, went out to dinner with Megan and we both got blindingly drunk, I texted Tom to say I was home, then I invited her back to my place and, according to my housemate, watched some Netflix and Tom showed up with flowers. Megan, really drunk, and my housemate answered the door and there was Tom with flowers. Tom looked really shocked to see Megan and asked what she was going on. Megan told Tom that she lived here now and that we, her and I, were talking about getting married. According to my housemate, we got home drunk and started talking about how much easier it would be if we got married because men are scum or something and then my housemaid decided, hey, it's Friday night,

and started drinking too. Anyway, she yelled to me that scummy Tom was here, I yelled back, I was throwing up at that point, that I didn't want to see him and they shut the door in his face. He was knocking on the door and calling slash texting me, none of which I noticed because I was pretty sick the rest of the night along with Megan and my housemate. Also at some point before passing out, Megan and I were showing the messages to my housemate and we start talking about getting married to each, and we updated our statuses to show that Megan and I were engaged. I vaguely remember her doing it. This caused a lot of confusion which I woke up to the next day and just ignored everyone

because of how hungover I was but eventually untagged Megan and told everyone it was a Facebook hack. Adam called me, sounding amused I was hungover or maybe still drunk, and asked what that was about and I just told him that Megan thought I was hot and hung up on him. Anyway, later I texted Tom and told him to not contact me for two days. Megan left and hung out with her friends and had a good trip. She's back home now, she's blocked Tom on everything but not before tagging in a pretty mean update.

Tom was pretty miserable, we talked a few days later, and I gave him back the ring. He said that he realized his mistake, that he never would have cheated on me because he couldn't go through with it, etc. I pointed out that at the start of the relationship he told Adam that I was nothing, talking about me like used property. He denied this, but I told him that Adam had shown me the texts. He then told me that Adam had a falling out with the group over some money that was owed to him and this was his way of getting revenge, and I said, even if that is true, he never forced you to talk so degradingly about me or set up a date with an old flame. He said that he'd grown up since then and he thought the world of me and he had cancelled the date so

wasn't that a point in his favor. He also asked me to come home early because he wanted to tell me himself. In a moment of pettiness, I told him, I wasn't going to settle for a guy like him, that what he did was disgusting, especially since he knew I was away and I couldn't trust him, let alone want to marry him. He insisted that we could work through this. I kind of didn't. Honestly, I really can't tell if he's being sincere or just wants to save face or hold on to something safe. I asked for space and time to think about things because the way he was pushing was driving me away. It's been a few weeks now, he's been just texting and sending me gifts and stuff. I have been replying pretty generically and saying I wasn't ready.

Megan, I actually talk and WhatsApp frequently, she's still on the dump him and run bandwagon but admits he's persuasive and we have a way. of really figuring out Tom's intentions because of what he did. Adam, I heard third-slas-forthhand that he did have a massive blow-up in the group about money, doesn't speak to any of them, and hates them all. He texted me about three days ago asking if I wanted to catch up. I am so confused, and there's so much drama. I've mostly been burying myself in work and gym and stuff and not thinking about it. I get that people can change and maybe Tom is honest, I just don't know.

I need some distance and objectivity but everything seems really confusing. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Caught my wife cheating with our baby's doctor, now his career is ruined and I have full custody. My wife was recovering from having our first baby. Per the doctor's orders, we were waiting eight weeks before having sex. She was 24, and I was 26. I felt like we were too young to be parents.

but at least we were married for four years before conceiving. This was the life I hoped for. I did everything right, according to my family, and it made me feel great. One person I met in my past told me that life isn't as simple and easy as I expected it to be, but I was goal-oriented and willing to follow any successful influencers' advice. I believed fate was on my side. Even with what I'm about to tell you, I still believe fate is on my side, because otherwise, I may never have discovered the truth.

On one of the last days of waiting, I got a notification at work that there was motion detected outside our house, and a box was delivered. I only worked ten minutes away, and it was lunchtime, so I decided to pop by unexpectedly. Besides opening my package, I thought I might be able to seduce my wife for the first time and forever. I stopped for flowers. When I got to the house, there was a really nice car parked outside. I didn't recognize it. My original plan was to knock on the door and have her open it, but I decided to use my key. As soon as I walked in, I heard our bed squeaking upstairs. I barged into our bedroom door, without realizing I broke it. I could not believe what met my

eyes. My wife was sprawled out on our bed with our baby's pediatrician. She immediately sat up and grabbed her face, repeatedly saying no in disbelief. The doctor panicked and ran. I didn't care, I'd have him on camera fleeing our house with his loose pants, which meant I'd probably be able to prove he was sleeping with my wife, which would certainly get his license revoked. I noticed the baby sleeping in the bassinet six feet away from his mother, as she cheated on his father. My wife immediately began saying how sorry she was. She said he seduced her because he knew she waited long enough to heal. I wanted to throw up, but I was too angry and didn't want to appear vulnerable. I told her she was a sleazy, pathetic mother. I asked her why she couldn't

have just said no, why she couldn't have just waited for me to get home. I felt myself starting to break down because I was realizing my marriage was over. I didn't want to forgive her. I didn't want to have sex with her. I told her these things, and she wailed so loud she woke up the baby. My mind started working at a mile a second as I held and bounced our son. I told her that since she was breastfeeding, she could take him with her to her mom's house. Her mother was a strict Catholic, and I wasn't even sure she would let her daughter and grandson move in. She was going to be furious at her daughter's behavior, and I'd make sure she knew the truth at some point. My wife was freaking out, telling me what I already knew, that she would have nowhere to go if we

told people the truth. I forced her to move back in with her mother by telling her our house was being fumigated. My mill wasn't too fond of me, so she wouldn't even wonder where I was. After they moved out, a major twist happened. I got an anonymous typed note in the mailbox that said, leave me out of it, or you won't be around long enough for a second marriage. I was shocked, but immediately knew it was from the doctor. What a piece of crap. I was very I was very amused when I checked our doorbell camera and found him escaping with his pants down. I went to the police and filed restraining orders on him and my wife. Then, I made some phone calls.

I had a big family, including one lawyer. He agreed to represent me. Before the court hearing, my mill was basically forcing my ex and son out of her house, so I had to tell her what my wife did, and how I got a restraining order because my life was threatened. She was beside herself. She told me I needed to come get my son at least, so I did. My wife absolutely hated this, and I think that's why her mom did it. She was so upset with her, but couldn't kick her out.

She had trouble looking at her the same way. As terrible as my mill was, she knew how necessary and important loyalty to a spouse was. Then you add the fact that my wife was a new mother, cheating with her son's doctor. Before I left with our son, I heard them screaming at each other, and when my mill told her she wasn't mature enough to be a mother or wife. It was intense, but I'm sure my wife deserved this hellish new reality, stuck in her strict mother's house without me or her son. After the divorce, I was awarded primary custody of our son, and I was able to prove the doctor's unprofessional, home-wrecking actions. He was no longer allowed to practice, so he'll have to find something new to do with his life. I am so happy with the outcome from all this.

I hate that it all happened, but this wasn't my fault, so I can only adjust and accept the change. She still calls me often, asking for help or complaining about things. She used to say sorry every time, but I told her to stop. I don't always answer her calls, but she does get visitation with our son. This event made me question a lot about life and relationships. I've realized how important it is to love and trust yourself. I knew I could get through this from the moment I was presented with the issue, I knew I had no choice but to go through it, and all I had was my own strength and willingness

to go on. I enjoy my life because it's all I have, and my son and I have a whole new routine. My sister watches him while I'm at work, and she loves it. I enjoy my own company and my sons, and when it comes to dating, I just take it slow and and make sure everything feels right about it. That's all anyone can do. I hope anyone reading this realizes how great it is to experience life at all. I won't let this painful end to my marriage make me question how wonderful life is.

I hope you enjoy this story. Fiendish relative barricaded herself in a chamber with my wailing infant, declining to nourish him. I needed to contact law enforcement to retrieve my infant. Almost 12 months passed. I gave birth to my first child. He's so perfect and lovely, and literally the light of my life and my purpose for living. But that's not why I'm here. Before giving birth, basically my whole pregnancy, I appreciated how kind and attentive everyone was towards me,

especially my mill who constantly bought things for the baby. I had the best pregnancy too. And my mill would actually ask how I was. She'd make me snacks like chocolate-covered strawberries and charcutory boards. Her behavior towards me was really new. I wasn't used to this sort of attention and consideration. But I'll get into that in a bit here. Even though she was super kind and thoughtful,

I couldn't shake the feeling that she did it more for herself than for me. So in my head, I was sort of thinking that she had ulterior motives. But other than that, I had no complaints about her actions during that time. I was trying to soak it all in while I could. She was refurbishing this antique crib and matching change table for my husband and I. It seemed like the two of us had turned over a new leaf. But there was always something in the back of my mind that had my guard up with her. She had burned me so many times in the past and didn't treat me well in the early years that my husband and I were dating.

Now, a little backstory. So when my husband, her son, and I starting to do that, dating, we started dating in our last year of high school, it's been 12 years since. When we started dating, it was super obvious that she wasn't all impressed with her son dating me. She was repulsed by me. I should mention too that I'm an obvious minority. I'm of a different culture than my husband, and there were little comments that she'd make about the color of my skin and my family name. I felt like an outsider in my own husband's family at the time, constantly walking on eggshells around his mother. She wouldn't greet me when I came into the home. When she cooked dinner and I was over,

she'd bring out just enough dishes and cutlery for her, my Phil, my husband, and his sister. But she'd never have anything out for me. So I'd have to go into the cupboard and get it myself. I once had brought over a bunch of clothes and purses that I no longer wore or used. I put them in a black garbage bag. And my sill, at the time she was three years younger, and I were going through the bag so that she could pick out what she wanted before I donated them. While we were doing this in the living room, and Mill comes home and walks into the back door from the garage, she sees us going through this black bag. She's like, why are you doing through the trash? And she directed the question to my sill. And my sill is just like, oh, op, brought them over so I can go through them before she gets

rid of them. And then Mills snaps at her and she's like, I don't want you going through that old shit. She literally rips the bag out from our hands and takes it and I'm like sitting there in shock and she takes it outside the back and I watch her throw the bag over the fence to where the garbage is. And my sill is just looking at me and she's like, I'm sorry. And I'm like, hey, you don't have to apologize to her. Then my mill came back in and told my sill to go upstairs and then I was just left there sitting in the living room alone until my husband got home from hockey practice. Then my mill wasn't going to let us go to graduation together. My husband literally told me that she said to him that she didn't want him looking back at pictures of me and him together at grad

when there were prettier girls to go with. Yeah, that happened. When my husband had a fit and sort have told her where to go, she told him that she'd stop paying for his hockey equipment if we went together. Then my fill at the time said that was nonsense and said that the money wasn't hers to spend. So that was hilarious. And then when we went to go and find him a suit, his mom didn't want me going with them either. She tried to tell him that he had to maintain a certain grade in order to stay together with me. And then she'd say that they weren't going to pay for the limo for either of our grads. We went to different high schools, so there was going to be two separate grads, mine and his. After we graduated, my husband went away to play hockey during the winter. The only times that I could

really go and see him were either when he had away games, so like he's visiting from whatever city was his home team, or if I drove to whatever city he was stationed. This was rare because I was going to university at the time and didn't have a lot of cash for gas. At the away games, I'd be greeting and hugging my husband and she'd straight up not acknowledge my presence and talk to him as if I wasn't there. She'd mentioned that she met a really beautiful girl at work who was interested in dating me, so she gave her his number. And my husband would be like what the heck is wrong with you. I'm dating, op. I love, op. She did this at almost every away game. In the early years, I was the thinest I'd ever been because of an eating disorder I suffered from at the time.

But his mom still made comments about my butt and hips. But those things on my body just don't go away. She'd talked to my sill about how she thought I was so fat and ugly and she didn't know how her son was with me. And then of course my sill would tell me this. She would ask her sill if she had any friends that could date my husband. Okay, so jump to once I gave birth, my in-laws came to the hospital. right away. Like I'm talking right away. I ended up having to get an emergency CC and when I was

being wheeled into my hospital room after the surgery, I saw my in-laws at the nurse's desk asking if I was out yet. So then they try to get into the room but the nurses are like, oh, you can't be in here until we're done just checking, op, out a bit. So they weighed outside the room. I'm already thinking that's a bit weird. So then while they're doing whatever it is to me, they take our son out to also get checked out and I think it was some sort of K-shot. Then as they bring our son back into our room, my in-laws follow. I haven't even had a chance to really hold my son yet, other than a bit of trying to get him to latch right away. Then the nurses leave and they go and to pick up our son. My husband is sort of too tired to say anything at the time, and I'm still kind of

in shock from having to go into surgery. They didn't bother to ask how I was doing. They were holding and smiling at our son. They actually ignored the fact that I was even there. They asked questions to my husband. They asked how the labor went and how the surgery went without even directing any question to me. I felt so tired and I was in pain, but I just smiled through it and accepted that these are my husband's parents. And a part of me was like, oh, maybe they just don't want to bother me. But then they came back to the hospital every day we were there. They made it seem like they were caring too, because they asked me husband if we wanted anything and all I craved was a McDonald's breakfast sandwich and an iced coffee. So my husband told them what I wanted. So they were

like cool. On our way. Then when they get to the hospital, turns out they went to go pick up some weird Chinese food buffet stuff. I'm like. Great. Thanks. So grateful that they brought us some food but dang. Like when you have a craving for your first meal after giving birth, it's all you think about for days until you get it. And every day we were there, they hogged our son and held him in again. Didn't ask me anything or acknowledge me. After being discharged from the hospital, my in-laws continued to visit our house. I wasn't feeling well enough for visitors, but my husband didn't tell them. them not to come over. So, I had no choice but to stay up late and try to entertain them while still recovering for major surgery a few days ago. As time went on, I began to resent their constant presence, but I never spoke up about it. And like usually people would offer to like bring over snacks or maybe help clean the house or anything while the new parents settle in. But nope. Nothing. All she wanted to do was hold our son. My husband ended up

getting called into work. So then I felt anxious and started getting up, even though I was in serious pain, and cleaning up and making food while my in-laws sat on the couch and cooed at my beautiful baby boy. Then I'm on social media later and I see that they posted an announcement of their first grandson and tagged my husband but didn't tag me. And then they gave him the wrong name. I legally hyphenated my son's name, so it's both mine and my husband's last name. But they only included my husband's last name. Fast forward two weeks and they basically forced my husband and I to go out for wings with them at this pub which we instantly regretted. It was a month after giving birth when we visited my in-law's place, and I had hoped they would have prepared a

special meal or some balloons as a surprise. But to my disappointment, there was nothing of the sort. Maybe it was the hormones, but I couldn't help feeling upset. To make matters worse, my in-laws were smokers and they didn't wash or anything before holding baby, and then that's when I was like, Hey, guys, could you not smoke when you know that baby is going to be over? And I didn't even get a response. And then my husband reiterates it. And she goes, yeah, yeah. But it's not going to kill him.

And then I go to open my mouth and then my husband goes just don't, or else we don't have to come over. And she goes, okay, got it. We were visiting them every other day. and it felt like my husband cared more about making them happy than respecting my wishes. Every time we went over, they would take the baby away from me, which was overwhelming and frustrating. And it made me feel really awkward. Not only that, but they'd just show up to our place at 8 p.m. to see our son. But we'd be trying to do quiet time and put him to bed.

Then they'd just get him riled up where we'd wait too long and he'd get a second wind and he wouldn't be sleeping until 10 p.m. I'm like, okay, sorry guys can you not come by past 7 p.m. We're trying to set a sleep schedule for our son. And she'd say, we didn't do anything like that while, my husband, was a baby. And I say, well, it's different times and this is what we're choosing to do, so we'd appreciate it. And she just scoffs. So jumped in now and I just recently started going back to work a couple of days a week. My Mill insisted I bring baby over to their place, instead of her coming to our place, and I could work in their office. So sure, I do it, the office is actually a nice setup so I'm getting a lot done. I'm really grateful for their help and support. Then one time,

she's having a hard time putting baby to sleep. I'm like, hmm, maybe he's just heathen. Then I go to make a tea and realize that she hasn't fed him his lunchtime bottle and it's already so far from the time that he's supposed to get it. I go upstairs with this bottle and I'm like, hey, Mill, he's probably hungry, if you want to give him this bottle he'll likely go right to sleep. Then she shoots me this evil look and she's like back off. I know what I'm doing. Then I'm like, hmm, Kay maybe don't talk to me that way, I know my own son. Now you're just starving him and he's not going to go to sleep without a full belly. And she gets up from bed with him in her arms and she slams the door in my face and I hear the door lock.

I'm like there is no way that she literally just did this. My son is screaming his head off and I feel this rage come upon me, but I'm trying to stay cool. So I start knocking on the door and I'm like, hey, Mill, don't want to step on your toes but I can get him to sleep if you want to open up. She straight up tells me to bug her off. Then I'm like, hmm, nope. So I start knocking even harder and I'm like, open up the door please. She ignores me. Then even harder, I'm like please open the door.

She continues to ignore me. I do this a few more times until I'm basically banging on the door and trying to use my body to get in. All while my son is screaming his lungs off and literally choking now and coughing, because he's crying so hard. So then I'm like if you don't open up the door, I'm calling the police. Nothing. So I dial 911.

And then the police ended up coming in telling her to give me back my baby and they really didn't do much other than say that she can be put under investigation for harming a child. And they asked me if I wanted to press charges and I said no. But now I'm here. I told my husband what happened and he's actually furious. So do I press charges? What do I do?

Am I blowing this out of proportion? Is this just some sort of pee-p rage? Help. Update. Okay, so my husband actually took this really seriously and he's just as fed up as I am. I cannot believe I've even let it go this far. After we got back home and he saw the state of our boy, my husband had called his parents and reamed them out and told them that they'll never have anything to do with our son again.

We went complete N-C with them right away. My husband didn't want anything like this happening again to our baby. He didn't want to take that chance. He said it's not just about the two of us anymore, it's about protecting our son. And he's so right. Our poor baby cried so much that he broke blood vessels in his eyes and now half of his face is all swollen and I feel like such a failure for not kicking down that door. We were actually investigated by social services too, which was great. Not.

I also went back to the police department and talked to the officer who came by and said I wanted to press charges for child endangerment. They had to take pictures of my poor boy for evidence and they took statements from my husband and I feel called my husband today, multiple times, and wouldn't you know it, the voicemails all said Mill finally got arrested, after he finished calling us every name in the book. Not my problem anymore. That wretched woman's finally getting what she deserves. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Found out my wife's affair with her best friend's husband in a hotel room. We caught them red-handed, recorded the evidence, and exposed their infidelity online.

My wife and I were still very young in love when I discovered she was letting someone else tap her honeypot. My wife and I met in our hometown, and shortly after, I returned from college to settle down there. I loved her from first sight, and after several dates together, we started dating and married after dating for a year and three months. Meeting and marrying May was like a dream come true for me. She was the kind of girl I always wanted to settle with. She was hardworking, beautiful, intelligent, and fun to be with. There was never a dull moment with her, and I looked forward to waking up next to her every day. May was also a passionate lover, she loved me with everything in her,

and while our marriage lasted, we barely fought or did anything to hurt each other. We lived in peace and harmony and treated each other respectfully. I was and still am a good man and ensured that I cared for May and provided her needs. May worked as a receptionist at a big fancy female store, and our earnings were enough to keep the house running. We never had any financial issues because we tried our best to live within our means, and throughout the two years we were married, we supported each other and pushed ourselves to find better jobs.

With May, I felt fulfilled and looked forward to spending the rest of my life with her. She was a child at heart and had her way of adding colors to any place she went to. People loved May, and she was really popular amongst her friends. We lived in a small town, so there was hardly a place May and and I went to that she wasn't recognized. Mainly because her father held a leadership position while she was in high school. Aside from being a great wife, May was also a great friend, and she had two best friends she often used to hang out with.

Most times, they would decide to go on a weekend vacation or have their regular girls' night, and I never tried to stop her because I understood that it was normal for her to want to hang out with her friends even when we were married. I also became friends with her best friend's husbands, so whenever May and her best friends went on vacation, the three of U.S. would hang out together and spend time together. We did this for two years, May and I were married, and even when we would all hang out as a family unit. I never suspected that May was cheating on me with one of her best friend's husbands. Although I noticed she was close to one of them, I didn't think there was any extra. I thought he was the one she related with the most, and I kept believing this until I discovered a dark truth.

One evening, May told me she was stepping out to hang out with the girls as usual, and I watched her as she prepared, wore a new dress she had recently bought, and did her makeup. She was always like that, and I didn't see anything off. I even gave her some cash in case she needed to buy anything for herself and her girlfriends. About an hour after she left, I was searching for my golden watch in our jewelry drawer when I found May's ring. I was uncomfortable that she left her ring behind, and it was very unlike her to do so. So, I tried to call her, and after calling her several times and she didn't pick up her call, I resorted to calling one of her best friends. On the first call, her best friend took the call, and when I asked her if I could speak with my wife, she told me May wasn't with her, and she said they were. weren't hanging out that night either. While I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that May lied to me and left her wedding ring at home, her best friend asked if her husband was with me.

He wasn't, and I was surprised that she asked. She was shocked when I told her I had not seen her husband since the last time we all hung out. She said her husband told her he was going out with me for a drink that night, and it was weird that he wasn't with me. At this point, we realized that something was off, and we concluded that there was a possibility my wife and her husband were together since they coincidentally lied to us on the same night. To find her husband, she tried to check her husband's Snapchat location, but it was turned off, and when I checked May's Snapchat location, it was on, and we both decided to go down there. My heart nearly fell in my stomach when I realized that May's location was a hotel, and after asking a couple of questions, we found the hotel room

May lodged in. Meanwhile, we started documenting my process of going to May's hotel room. And when I knocked on the door of the room she lodged in, and she opened it, she was beyond shocked to see me and her best friend there. She was naked underneath the bathrobe she was wearing, and her best friend's husband was lying in bed, expecting that she would attend to whoever knocked on the door and returned to him. Immediately we got into the room, I started yelling at her while recording her, and she was so embarrassed. Her best friend was so upset that she hit her husband and attacked May for being a betrayer and homewrecker. May was so ashamed that she could not look me in the eye. She did not even try to explain. She only stood in one position

with tears running down her cheeks. After I had recorded enough, I left with her best friend and warned her not to set her feet at home. She didn't come home that night. She'd probably slept in the hotel room with her app. That night, she didn't only lose her marriage. She lost her friend of so many years too. Her best friend and I decided to post the video online without covering their faces to humiliate her more. We combined the video and the Snapchat location and kept posting them online until many people started sharing them. It was so humiliating for her, especially since most people in our hometown knew her, and her best friend had been friends since high school. It was my first time being so heartbroken, and I was not myself for

weeks. Days after I caught her with her best friend's husband, she tried to beg me and promised it would never happen again, but everything she said fell on deaf ears. We divorced because I could not stand the shame of being associated with her infidelity. Likewise, her best friend divorced her husband and got custody of their two kids. Meanwhile, after the video went viral, wife could not go out because of the look she got from people. She couldn't even attend her high school reunion because everyone had seen the video. On my end, I had to move to a different location to start life all over again. Whenever I remember how my wife played on my intelligence and betrayed her friend of more than 15 years, it still surprises me. She didn't value our marriage

or her relationship with her friend, and anyone who can do such a thing can do even more terrible things. I know I will not get into another relationship anytime soon because my heart still breaks when I remember how much I loved my wife and how she ruined everything we had. I hope you enjoy this story and is requesting that I hand over my future child to my sterile relative because my spouse is not of the Christian faith and we are both employed. She enlisted her religious acquaintances to monitor my activities. I, 24F, am currently eight months pregnant with a baby girl and my aunt slash cousin have been giving me trouble since I have announced the news. My partner and I already adore our girl and have no plans to give her up, but my aunt wants

me to give up my child to my cousin, who has been suffering for infertility for the past five years. For more context, my aunt has raised my sister and I as a motherly figure after our mother passed away when we were very young. We have been quite close with our aunt slash cousin throughout our life and have been trying to support my cousin through her struggles with infertility. My aunt is also very religious being a Mormon who regularly attends church and has a very rigid, close-minded view on morality slash values and living a good life. She believes that a child deserves a strong, foundational religious upbringing with a strong, providing father and a loving, attentive mother. Since my partner is not Christian and because we both have full-time jobs and

careers, she believes that my child will grow up confused and misguided in our household due to our religious differences, lacking a proper sense of identity and adequate care. She says she fears that our child's well-being will not be put first in such an environment and that our kid could likely go down a dark, immoral path. According to her, my cousin, who works part-time from home, and her husband are way better able to provide my child with a loving home with good values and religion. I have both my aunt and cousin blocked on most forms of communication and I have moved to a new home, where they do not know the address. My partner and I also got married in a private ceremony so they won't have control over my medical decisions. Out of the two, my aunt

has been more aggressively towards me and even showed up to my old apartment one day to scream and argue with me about the situation. She, in a fake nice tone, tried to get me to come with her to a cafe near the church to speak with me about the baby even when I told her there is nothing to be discussed and that I'm keeping the baby. I spoke with the apartment manager and had to hide until she left after half an hour. My aunt also has her church friends after me. They sometimes regularly send me hostile text message and voicemails. My cousin has been on the quieter side towards me and has been struggling with depression and trauma from her latest pregnancy last year ending in a stillbirth of her baby girl after preterm labor at 30 weeks. She has been

regularly posting on social media and has joined motherhood related groups. I've heard through gossip that she is trying to get a baby through those groups and has been banned from a considerable amount of them to her dismay. She had been harassing young moms and widows for their babies. My cousin is desperate for a baby to fix her family and is apparently waiting for my name, to give birth for my baby girl, who she apparently sees her own late baby in. My aunt and her are apparently sure that I will be overwhelmed with my decision and the responsibilities with motherhood that I will give up slash give more to my baby by letting my cousin and her husband adopt her. My aunt says that giving my baby to my cousin

shouldn't be as hard as it could be because we are family and that I could have a baby later on as I am still young and have plans to attend grad school after working for a while. My cousin also apparently wants to get into contact as we had before my pregnancy. I will not be speaking to her again until after I give birth to see where she is then and to prevent further stress during my pregnancy. I have been very supportive of her through her infertility journey and generally liked her more than my aunt growing up, but her behavior and thinking have shocked me and are making me fear for my safety. I am planning a big wedding party for next year since my partner and I privately got married this year and I am not sure if my cousin slash aunt would be invited and able to come.

I have a lot of family support from both sides right now apart from those who are close to them and on their side, but I'm not sure if that support will be as strong in a year and what my relationship with my aunt slash cousin will be then. I have skipped some family events that I know they will be at, but I don't want to miss out on those family gatherings and fun forever. I'm not sure how the future will look like with my aunt slash cousin after my baby and the issues that arise with that. Any support would be appreciated. Update 1, this will be a small update. We got in contact with the local church leader and talked to them about the situation with my aunt and cousin, who are both active members.

We talked to him for a while. He initially dismissed my concerns as personal conflict between family and tried to refer us over to counseling services. We explained to him that my cousin is dealing with trauma from her baby's death and that she is having false hopes about adopting my baby, which would be raised in a good home. We also told him that my aunt is feeding into those hopes and has been harassing me on her behalf, causing disturbance and a lot of stress. He told me he understood my side and that he knew what my cousin has been going through with her inability to have kids. He said he would contact my aunt and cousin to see what they have to say about the situation. I talked again with him today. He said that my aunt and cousin

would like to speak with me and that they were concerned that I stopped communicating with them, especially since I moved away. I explained to him that their behavior regarding my baby influenced me to do those things and pressed him on what they said. He said that my cousin had talked with a church therapist and was looking into adoption to start a family because her IVF treatments were likely not going to produce a child with her condition. I emphasized to him that I was not giving up my baby and that my cousin had been thinking such. He said that understood that and started asking me for personal details on how I was doing now. He was again trying to set up a meeting between us and my aunt slash cousin and referring us to services. I told him I was

not comfortable with that at the moment and he told me to at least call my cousin once. He said he will meet with my aunt on Sunday since I was too scared to do on my own. Our call ended after that. I'll comment any update on what he says in the coming days under this post. Edit 1. I am not satisfied with his response and do not like that he is putting pressure on me with reconnect with my aunt and cousin. He says he understands my concerns, but I think he is being rather dismissive of them and trying to force us to resolve our issues. My partner and I thought it was worth a shot reaching out to him to because he has influence and religious authority over my aunt slash cousin. I'll see what he says on the next phone call and see what I can do to make him care more.

Edit 2, to make clear, I didn't give him any personal information and have no plans for any in-person meeting with my aunt and cousin. We are in contact with legal help. We do not live in Utah. Update 2, we spoke again with the bishop. He said that there isn't much he can personally do to resolve the situation within his capacity between me and my aunt slash cousin other than refer to counseling services. I asked him if he did meet with my aunt and he said he did. Their conversation was apparently focused on my cousin and helping her heal. He told me my cousin was also grieving the loss of communication with me and my sister who hasn't

been talking much to her anymore. I told him that my cousin was trying to take my baby to replace hers and that her and my aunt's behavior was threatening the safety and well-being of me and my family. I think he was losing interest in the conversation so he just told me to do whatever I feel is best for my family. But to consider the grief my cousin has been through and contact family counseling services for further help on this matter. Me and my partner sent him an email afterwards with a copy to our lawyer to close off communication. I decided to unblock my cousin and send her a message.

I told her that my partner and I are keeping our baby and that is not up for discussion. I encouraged her to seek proper therapy if she hasn't already done so and told her that I am not comfortable with her, her husband, or my aunt being involved in my child's life. She hasn't responded yet. Regardless of what she says, our relationship will not return to as it was before and she will not be a part of my child's life. Update 3, November 25, 2024. Here is the update everyone has been waiting for. I was busy in the few last months with the birth and projects I have been working on as I recover from birth and take care of my new baby.

I logged into Reddit a few times since then, but haven't gotten a chance to update. I am 25 now and my baby is almost four months old, time flies. She is doing well and brings us so much joy. I love going on walks with her and she is growing up so fast. I am planning to go back to work soon, looking for a new job. Thank you all for the concern and well wishes, and I hope everyone is having a great time during the Thanksgiving holiday season. Now, the update that everyone is looking forward to, my cousin and aunt since my last update, my cousin and aunt went silent for a while and my cousin didn't respond to my texts.

In August, my aunt reached out to me through a new number and asked me how I was, and if I had the baby yet. We talked. She was concerned about my slash baby's well-being since I distanced myself from a lot of my family and had to leave my job. I asked about my cousin. She says they have been trying to adopt a baby through their church connections, but nothing has been successful so far, because they probably just started on that. I asked about whether they consulted with a proper adoption agency but my aunt said that my cousin's husband's past may become a problem, didn't know about that, and she proceeded to rant about how the white birth rate is dropping and how people were actively denying themselves parenthood. She asked me if I still wanted the baby and got angry about ninth-month abortions. She is pro-life without exceptions.

I reaffirmed to her that I did and she talked about how my cousin was getting old, but she is in her early 30s, and that her nest is still empty. She wanted me to at least share the joy and let me cousin be in my daughter's life and spend time with her. I told that would not be possible due to their past behavior. I feared that my cousin would try to become her mother and let her delusions get to her again. My aunt said that my cousin was trying to become better and got some church counseling. I still told her no.

She then asked me if I knew anyone or any resources to adopt a baby. I told her I didn't and that my cousin should be careful and patient with trying to become parents. My aunt emphasized how becoming parents was important to my cousin and her husband because they deserve children at this point and for their reputation since everyone around them is reaching the parenthood milestone. She asked about my future family plans and pushed me on when I'm going to get pregnant again slash of my next child. She told me family planning was important, especially after this surprise pregnancy and asked if they could be involved next time. As the call went on, more and more of her past slash usual behavior became apparent and I was getting tired of it. I wanted to end the call, but she ended at first because she had some activity. Thankfully, I have my sister to keep me in the loop with what's happening with my aunt slash cousin

and other matters regarding my family and my old church. Everything my aunt said was apparently true about my cousin. According to my sister, my cousin's overall mental health seems to have improved from her worst, but she still has her deep depressive periods. She sometimes feels very empty with her lack of children and her worsened relationships with me and my sister. My cousin and her husband are also trying to find an IVF doctor abroad in hopes of a miracle since a lot of their options are shutting down here. My cousin apparently still views my baby as something she lost, but she believes God will give her kid soon and has been trying to get her sins forgiven. We are skipping Thanksgiving with my side of the family in a few days for

obvious reasons. I am going back to the workforce soon, likely after all the holidays. I had my child care arrangements ready with all the necessary precautions and the future is looking good overall. Again, thank you all for your support and let me know if you have any questions about anything, Mormonism, my family, motherhood, etc. Next story, Mom chose my stepdad over me and put me in foster care. Years later my brothers found me, and one of them remembered watching my stepdad force me to eat from a dog bowl. I really need an outside perspective on whether I'd be the eye in this situation. I'm a 21-year-old male. I ended up in foster care at nine years old because of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my stepfather, a man my mom

kept choosing over me. Despite all the support and interventions that were supposed to protect me, my mom refused to kick him out. Even after she had a restraining order against him, she still let him back into our lives. Meanwhile, she went on to have two more children with this man, my half-brothers, who are now 19, Richie, and 16, James. It got to the point where it was obvious that no matter what she would keep letting him back into our lives and allowing me to be his scapegoat of anything that was wrong in life and I ended up being removed. After I was removed from the home, my mom was allowed to keep and raise my brothers, as if nothing had happened. From what I know, my stepdad never laid a hand on them. My mom and this man are still together, I know because I've

checked her Facebook more times than I'd like to admit. Growing up, it was devastating to realize that my mom would rather give me up than fight for me. She could have kept me if she just left him, but she didn't. This abandonment left me with deep scars and a lot of issues to deal with as I grew up. It didn't help that she cut off all contact with me almost as soon as I was placed in foster care, she wouldn't even show up for court-ordered visits. Foster care was also really rough for me. I bounced around three different families, and it wasn't until the last one that I got any therapy to help me make sense of what had happened. A few days ago, out of nowhere, I got a Facebook message from my Richie and James. They said they've been thinking about me a lot and want to get to know me.

They even mentioned that our mom talks about me sometimes and wonders how I'm doing. They said he'd like to start some kind of relationship if I'm open to it. And Richie said he would be willing to drive him and James to come and visit me wherever I am in the country. They both seemed nice in this message, and I don't have an issue with either of them. At first, I was going to ignore the message because I don't want anything to do with my biological family. But then a darker thought crossed my mind this could be my one and only one. chance to expose my stepdad for the monster he truly is. I could finally tell my half-brothers everything he did to me, everything he put me through, and let the truth come crashing down on them.

I know that if I do this, it'll probably destroy any chance of having a relationship with them, but honestly, I'm not sure I want one anyway. I told my friend that I was thinking about doing this and he said it's a really bad idea that won't accomplish anything I wanted to. He said it will most likely just cause them to think I'm bitter and mean and won't make them have any issues with their dad. But, while I know it would be a difficult thing to process I would want to know if my dad was like that. I would want to know the truth about how my dad treated other children. I don't know how much they know about why I was removed into care. So, would I be the asshole if I went through with it? Update 1, hey everyone, I wanted to come back and give you all an update. First off, thanks

for all the advice and different perspectives. I really needed to hear them. So, after thinking a lot about what everyone said and after having a session with my therapist, I realized that my initial plan to tell my brothers everything about my stepdad wasn't really about helping them. It was more about me still holding on to the anger and hurt from my past, and that's not fair to them. A lot of you pointed out that they probably don't know the full story and are innocent and all this. and honestly, that hit hard. I decided to reach out to my Ritchie brother and told him I'd like to meet up. I didn't mention anything about our mom or the stepdad situation.

I figured if we were going to start a relationship, it's better to take things slow and not dump all that heavy stuff on them right away. We ended up meeting at a cafe. I was super nervous, but when I saw them, it actually felt nice. They were both really nice, and we just talked. talked about normal stuff, like what we've been up to, our favorite football teams, that sort of thing. It was weirdly easy to chat with them. At one point, the James asked why I was placed in foster care. That caught me off guard, but I decided to keep it vague and just said that

things were complicated at home back then, and that going into care was what was best for me at the time. James started pushing a bit for more details, but the Richie told him to knock it off, which honestly was a relief. By the end of it, I was glad I went. They asked if we could stay in touch, and I said yes. I'm still figuring out how much to share about what happened, but for now, I'm just trying to focus on building a relationship with them. I realize that while the past is important, it doesn't have to dictate how things go with them now. So yeah, thanks again to everyone who helped me see things clearer. I'm feeling a lot more hopeful about this, and I'm really glad I didn't just go with my gut reaction to tell them everything right off the bat.

We'll see where things go from here, but I'm cautiously optimistic. Update 2. Before anything, I read a lot of your comments. So many were saying I was selfish for wanting to expose my stepdad, and then so many were saying I was a coward for not. Some people were saying I was allowing the abuser to get away with it by not telling my brothers. I had DMs calling me an abuse apologist. People calling me a liar for not answering the question James asked when we first met. I never said I wasn't ever going to talk to them about my past. Literally in my last post I said I was still working on sharing my past in a healthy way.

With help from my therapist, and yet I had people acting like they knew best and that I should just tell them both right away. So many people arguing about it one way or the other. It does seem like everything I do there will be issues. I will upset someone. I know that and I am trying to navigate this in my own way, so please be respectful of that. Even if you would have done it a different way. I am in no way letting S.D. get away with the abuse. I tried everything I could as a child slash teen to get him prosecuted.

I have accepted that that will never happen. Just know I am a real person who reads the comments, not everything I do is, perfect. But please just be kind. I don't say this to stop people from giving me advice, I love advice. Just be positive and kind. I don't need more negativity anyway. In the week since my last post I have met up with my brothers three more times. Once with both, and two times it has been just me and Richie. There seems to have been an instant bond between us, something that I didn't even know I wanted. I am loving hanging out with them, which is amazing because I didn't even think I ever wanted to see any of my family again. Never mind start to develop a good relationship with some of them.

When I last met up with Richie alone, we went to go see a movie and then get something to eat. We spoke about our plans and what he does now. And we got talking about me and foster care. I asked him what he had been told about me growing up. He said they haven't been told much. He said they haven't been told much. but that mum sometimes talks about me. I asked him what he remembered of me and why I was taken into care. He said he has some memories, fuzzy memories and clear memories. But he said he didn't know for certain what happened. He said he remembered a lot of fighting and arguing between me and SD.

He said he had one very clear memory of me, but said he didn't know whether it was appropriate for him to share it or not. He asked me what I remembered, and I said it was difficult for me. to talk about with people. He said he understood if I didn't want to get into it. I asked him what his clear memory was. He remembered me being about eight years old, my SD stripping me naked and putting me in a dog's collar and making me eat dog food.

He said he remembered his dad hitting me with his belt as I was eating out the dog bowl and crying. This actually happened many times for me growing up, but he said he only remembered it once. I started crying and he apologized for bringing it up. and I said don't. I was glad he at least remembered some things of my abuse. He said he guessed that the abuse by SD was the reason I was taken away. I said yeah. I asked if S.D. ever abused either of them and he said he hadn't ever. But he said he wasn't close to either my mom or his dad. He said they weren't ever amazingly loving people, but never abused them. He said he was sorry

again. We spoke some more about our childhood. I felt safer talking about the abuse since he already remembered some of it. We spoke a bit more about it, I tried answering questions he had and he answered some of mine. He asked if the trauma still impacts me now, and I said yeah. I was open with him that I've attempted to end my own life multiple times because of it. He apologized for not being there for me, for not sticking up for me. I said nothing. that happened was his fault or my fault and that we can't change the past. After we finished, we both went to our own homes. He messaged me saying he's glad I grew up and that I managed to keep living he meant it sweetly, I think, even though it came off a little weird. I feel really

amazing that I have a brother who seems to care about me, I couldn't even have imagined he would have liked me a few weeks ago. I hope you enjoy this story. Guardians were unable to cover the expenses of higher education, so I appealed to my elderly relatives to finance it. Currently, they have discontinued their support and are upset because I have tarnished their standing. I, 17M, am supposed to start college in a couple of months and recently, my parents told me that they did not have any money set aside for me so I would have to make my own way.

I already knew that and so, I had taken certain measures to prevent myself from getting into any sort of financial trouble before I was supposed to start college. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I had a job, it did not pay much, but at least I had some money for myself and I could at least just travel to the location of my college if not anything else. And when I quit my job because of them, I did something else and now I'm getting a lot of flack for it. I have already been accepted into the school of my choice, and I have every intention of attending. But before I get into why I had to fall out with my parents, I need to tell you guys certain things about them, so everything makes sense. My parents did not grow up poor and for a really long time, we were pretty well off.

All of my grandparents were actually family friends first and that's how my parents met each other. We had known each other since they were kids and it was always the plan for them to get married when they grew up. When they got married, they also started their own cafe business together. Their parents invested in it and for a really long time, things were great for them. And then I was born, they were still doing pretty great and I grew up in a loving home and I never had to worry about money. The cafe that my parents run did moderately well. It's pretty popular among people who live in our neighborhood and they made a nice living from it, enough to call ourselves comfortable. Everything was great until the pandemic hit, and then, obviously, we had to shut down the cafe and for months.

we had to rely on our savings to get by. Even after things started opening back up again, our cafe was not able to take off like it was supposed to. For the past couple of years, the business has been in trouble, and my parents have been struggling to keep up with the bills and everything. My dad has even had to get another job in a small-scale marketing firm and manage the cafe part-time, while my mother tries to revive the business. It has been a sorry state of affairs for the past few years and I think I have been very affected by it because I was never used to any of this. I never had to think about money before, but all of a sudden, we had been thrust into a life where we had to think twice before any sort of purchase and it was very

difficult for me to adapt to it. I might sound spoiled, but I think anybody who has been through this kind of situation would agree with me. But I mean that I had to do something about my life because it had become very evident that I could not rely on my parents anymore. I'm not saying this because I want to mock them, I'm just saying this because I really could not rely on them since I would feel bad if I had to. I was acutely aware of how hard they were trying to keep our family afloat, and I knew that they were doing their best, I could not ask them for money because I knew that they were already struggling.

And I did not want to make them feel even smaller by asking them for financial help, only to be told that they could not afford to do that for me. So I decided that I was going to get a part-time job, but I was going to keep that information a secret from them because I knew that they were too proud to admit that they were poor now. Everybody knew about the situation with our family and the business, but my parents pretended like nobody knew, and they tried to keep up appearances,

making sure that they maintained the same kind of lifestyle that we had been used to. They did not want anybody to be able to guess that we were not doing financially well anymore and did their best to cover everything up. So whenever we would attend family parties, they would make it a point to dress up to the night and would even rent a car, since we had to sell the one we had. I felt kind of sorry for them, and I was quite embarrassed by it because I knew that everybody else knew the truth, yet they were still pretending to have the same lifestyle. Nobody ever said anything to them or confronted them about it because I guess everybody else felt sorry for us as well. My grandparents were the most affected by the same. My grandparents were the most

affected by this because these were their kids who were suffering and I knew that they had offered to help them out financially quite a lot of times, but my parents were proud to accept any sort of money from them. Whenever I would visit my grandparents, be it my mom's parents or my dad's parents, they would always have the same complaints against my parents and would keep telling me to try and convince them to take their help. But I didn't try to speak about that to my parents because I did not think it was my place to say anything. I had tried it once, in the initial stages of our cafe decline, and I had told my parents that I thought they should accept help from their parents and they had been very upset with me that day. I did not want to repeat that

episode because I knew that they would find it very offensive if I tried to talk to them about the family's finances because they thought that it was me trying to question their authority and acumen. They believed that it was respectful and it was not my place to comment on any of that. So I stayed out of it and just tried to get by on my own. Two years ago, I got my first part-time job at the bowling alley, and it was pretty easy to keep it a secret for my parents because the place where I worked was a little distance away from where we lived, so we did not really have anybody coming in who would know me. I would tell my parents every day that I was staying back after school for football practice which was not technically untrue because I did

stay back for that purpose but then, I would head to the bowling alley and work there. I did not earn a lot of money, but at least it was something and it gave me a sense of accomplishment. However, they had to let me go after a few months, as they had found a full-time employee, and it made more sense to hire him instead. It was nothing personal and my manager there even wrote me a letter of recommendation for my next job as a cashier at the nearby bookstore. That was a slightly riskier job because that place was much closer to my house and neighborhood than the others, and I was constantly afraid that somebody I knew would walk in, and then my cover would be found, my parents would get to know, and I would have to hear it from them.

However, I did not have the option of quitting because I knew that I had to earn at least some money, even if it was not enough to cover my college tuition. I knew that my parents would not be able to pay it all off and I would either have to take out a student or I would have to work my way through college, so it was better for me to start early and start earning before I headed to college. It went on for a couple of months and a few of my friends knew about it, but I made sure that they told their parents to keep it a secret from my parents and they were nice enough to oblige. I almost worked there for a year before a couple of months ago, my parents

finally found out. It was a neighbor of mine, and she was a particularly vicious and chatty one, I should have known that I was done for as soon as she walked into the bookstore. Honestly, I never would have expected the lady to even be able to read a magazine, let alone a book, but I guess she was getting a gift for somebody. She had never come to the bookstore before and as soon as I saw her, I knew that I was screwed. She did not even say anything to me when she saw me working there and had minimal interaction. We did not say anything to each other, but she kept smiling at me very smugly. I knew that she would go back and immediately tell my parents about it and that's what happened.

When I got back home that day, my parents were absolutely furious at me, and I think they must have yelled at me for a whole hour. They believed that my going out of my way to get a part-time job and keep it a secret from them just showed my lack of faith in my own parents and said that they were very unhappy with me about my actions. They reminded me that I belonged to a business family and no son of theirs was going to work as long as they were around to provide for me, it was disgraceful, and they were pretty disappointed in me. They told me that I had embarrassed them and were mostly worried about what everybody would be saying about this when they got to know that I had been working. They believed that the fact that I had been working part-time would just let everybody else know that my parents were not able to fully provide for me and that would allow people to guess that the cafe business had not been doing well, something that they had been trying to conceal from everybody for so long and so hard. I don't understand why they were trying to pretend. Everyone already knew the truth, but I didn't say that to them then because they were already pretty mad and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire. So I just stayed quiet and let them get it all out, but then, after they were done yelling at me,

they said that I had to quit the job that I had because it was just too shameful. I resisted a little at that point because the job was very important for me to have some sense of stability and remind myself that not everything was lost, just because my parents were struggling with the money, didn't mean that I could not make my own. I wanted to get a head start before I started college, and I tried to explain that to them, but they just kept repeating themselves over again, reminding me that I had already brought a lot of shame to the family by getting a job before I had even finished my education. They do not want me to embarrass them even more by continuing to work. So I told them that I was only doing this because I did not want to be a burden on them in the future since I had every intention of going to college, and I knew that they were struggling with money.

So they told me that I did not have to worry about that and they would take care of everything for me. They promised me and told me that by the time I would start applying, they would make sure they had something set aside for me. I could not fully trust them but judging by the way that they were acting, I found it really hard to say no because it felt like they were really going to lose their minds if I said that I was going to continue working. So I did what they asked of me and I quit my job. It was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever made so far, but I had to do it because I did not want to make my parents even more upset than they already wanted. But I still could not bring myself to fully trust them because I knew that they were struggling and I had no idea how they were going to get the sort of money that they had promised me. I knew that sending kids to college was expensive and the only option that I would be left

with would be to take out a student to cover the cost of my education afterward. I went to public school, so they did not have to worry about my education so far, but I wanted to compromise my college degree and I knew that if I took a student loan, I would spend the rest of my life paying it back. And it was also very unlikely that I would be able to get any sort of high-paying job without a college degree in this economy, so I decided to approach my grandparents for help. Again, I had to do it without my parents knowing because I knew that if they got to know that I was asking somebody for help, they would literally lose their minds, and probably even kick me out. I knew that they were too proud to ask for help, but I was not, I love my grandparents,

and that they would be glad to help us. Besides, I was not asking them for money for my parents, I was asking them to help me personally. So my parents could choose not to take money from their parents, but I did not have to abide by the same rules. At least that's what I told myself when I made that decision. Almost one month after I had quit my job, I decided to approach my grandparents and asked them for help.

I set up a meeting with them at my maternal grandparents' house and told them about everything that happened the previous month. I told them I was really worried about the money and I couldn't even go back to work because if my parents found out that I had been working, they would literally flip out, and I did not want to risk getting them all upset again. But I also did not want to risk not being able to go to college

because my parents were not able to live up to their promise. And I was pretty sure they wouldn't be able to set aside money for me since they were still going about things the same way and have not taken any extra measures or changed anything about their lifestyle. My grandparents were all happy to help me, they told me that they wished that even my parents would come to them because they were sure that with a little money, they would be able to revive the business.

But my parents were too proud, forgetting the fact that they had even been able to start this business because of the first investment that my parents had made. I don't understand why they were behaving this way. As far as I knew, my grandparents had never made a business. a big deal of it and had always referred to their kids as self-made, even though it was not really true in the strictest sense of the word. Anyway, I told my grandparents about it and they told me that when the time came, they would definitely cover my college tuition, and I was

relieved. So for the next couple of months, up until a week ago, I wasn't exactly worried about anything and I went about my life without any anxiety about college or how I would be able to pay for it. My parents also did not bring it up again, so we spent the the last couple of months, not even talking about it because I did not want to bring up the fact that I already had asked my grandparents for money and they had agreed to help me because I knew that they would not like it and they did not bring up anything about college with me because I was. Pretty sure that they would not be able to help me. Both of us avoided speaking to each other about it. However, last week, I got accepted into the college of my choice,

we finally had to discuss it, and everything was out in the open. We could not hide these things from each other. A couple of hours after I received the email that said that I had been accepted, my parents started looking really uncomfortable, and eventually, after dinner, they told me that they had been thinking about this, and they believed that it would be safer for me to get a student loan or try to work through college because at least then, I would be of age and it would be away from home so nobody would get to know about it. They confessed to me that they had been trying really hard for the past few months, but they had not been able to save up enough money and were still struggling financially. So it would not be possible for them to pay for me to go to college

and I had to look out for myself. They said that they were really sorry about it and they did not want to let me down, but they did not have any other option because at the time when I was working. They were really embarrassed by it and they did not want it to continue so they had to promise me that they would cover my tuition, even if they were not sure if they would be able to live their promise or not. But I had already seen this coming, and I was not even surprised. when they told me that they would not be able to cover my tuition. I just smiled at them and I told them that I got it covered and they did not have to worry about it.

That took them by surprise and I guess I should have been a little more careful about how I had reacted, to avoid the drama that followed. They asked me why I was not more worried and then, I had to tell them the truth. When they found out that I had asked for money from my grandparents and now, I would be depending on them, they reacted just as I had expected them to. They started screaming at me almost immediately and told me that I had completely ruined their reputation and that I needed to apologize to my grandparents and tell them that I would not be requiring any money from them, that there had been some confusion regarding my college fund. And I did not need to depend on them because my parents would be able to provide for me. I had no idea why they even expected that I would do that, just a few minutes after they had told me that they would not be able to cover my tuition.

So I told them that they had different values and opinions compared to me, but I had no shame in taking money from my family, especially when they were offering to help me out. I feel bad accepting the fact that we were now not as financially stable as we used to be and I needed external help to get by. Also, I was going to return the money to my grandparents eventually, once I had started earning, and so, I did not find anything morally wrong about what I was doing. They refused to accept that and they told me that I had to do as they said, or they would cut me off forever and never speak to me again if I took money from my grandparents. They think that I was very sneaky and betrayed their trust and ruined their reputation, none of which seem fair accusations to me. They are putting me in a very difficult spot right now and even though it has been a couple of days since our fight, I have not yet been able to come to a conclusion about what I should do. My parents have been refusing to talk to me and any time I enter a room or try to speak to them, they just start ignoring me and pretend like I'm not even there.

It's really hurtful and I don't think it's worth it. Ida for going behind my parents' backs and asking my grandparents for money so that I can pay for college. Update 1, hi, thank you so much for the words of advice and the overwhelming support that you guys have shown me. I really did not see this coming. But most people in the comments believe that my parents are being unreasonable and I think that you guys are right. Some of you are calling me a doormat for even wanting to stay with my parents after everything that they have put me through or even quitting my job. I don't understand how that works because I'm literally a minor and I love my parents. It's not something that I will deny.

Maybe in your world, people can just get up and leave when they hit a snag but for so many years, my parents have treated me like a king and have provided for me. I wasn't going to just abandon them and start fighting with them when they were in a tough position. I will agree that what they did was not right, and it was completely unreasonable of them, but that being said, I couldn't leave my parents. I don't think it's right to give me so much hate just because I, as a 17-year-old, wanted to be with my parents and try to work out the issues that we are having. Anyway, that being said, I did not see any other option than to just tell them that I was not going to back down and I was definitely going to take the money from my grandparents and go to college because all the other options were not things that I could work around.

I was not willing to take a loan and I was not willing to work through college. If my grandparents were willing to help me, I did not see any valid reason to refuse them. I respected them and their opinions, but I had my own set of beliefs and I was not going to compromise to. protect their so-called pride and reputation. I had to give them a speech while they were in the living room, pretending to not hear and they did not react to anything that I said. But at least I got it off my chest and I said to them whatever it was that I had to say. Now, the ball is in their court, and they can decide whether they want to accept my decision or if they want to continue behaving the way that they have been so far. Either way, I am doing what I had decided I was going to do and

they cannot change my mind. Update 2. It has been two weeks since I announced to my parents that I was not going to change my decision. Certain things have happened in the past two weeks and right now, I'm living with my grandparents. My mom's parents have taken me in for now and I'll get to how that happened. So maybe three or four days after I had announced to my parents that I was not going to change my mind. My mother finally came around and she told me that if I thought that this was the right thing to do then she was not going to hold it against me. She came into my room really late at night and kind of broke down. We ended up having a heart-to-heart conversation and she told me that she had been really struggling with the cafe and it was my dad who was actually refusing

to take money from everybody, and that was because he was just unable to bring himself to accept the fact that he needed help. For so long, they had been independent and never had to rely on anybody for anything. But now, things were different, and he was just having a hard time dealing with it. He was too proud to admit that he was not as financially well off as he used to be a couple of years ago. She had tried to convince him several times to do something about this. They could both get jobs, but he refused to shut down the cafe, even for a while. She had told him that once they got back on track financially, they would reopen it, but he was not cool with it. He was not willing to take money from his family because he did not want any favors from anyone.

I tried to console her since I could understand where she was coming from. Anyway, we ended up hugging, and she told me that she was going to support me. The next day, I woke up to the sound of my parents fighting like cats and dogs downstairs, and when I went downstairs to check what was going on, I noticed that my dad was screaming at my mom and she was yelling right back. He was waving a massive wad of cash in her face and accusing her of betraying him and lying to him. She was trying to defend herself, saying that she was going to tell him about it, but she was just looking for the right opportunity to do so. After a while, I figured out that apparently, my mother had sold all her jewelry and she was planning to contribute to my college fund with that money. My dad was pissed because now, she had nothing left and he was worried that this was going to reflect badly on them in the future when she was planning to.

she would attend parties and events and wouldn't have any jewelry to wear. She told him that he was being superficial and he accused her of being too foolish. I thought that my dad was being crazy and after he had calmed down, I decided to talk to him once and for all. But before I could enter his room, I heard him crying from outside the door, and it just broke my heart because even after so many things had happened, I had never heard my father cry. But when I started outside his room, I could hear him absolutely sobbing like a wreck, and my mother was outside in the living room, doing the same. I was just so devastated because of what was going on in the family that I did not have to think twice before my grandparents.

After that, my grandparents arrived, and there was an intervention because we, as a family, really needed to talk. I won't get another detail, but for now, my parents are living with my dad's parents, and I am living with my mom's parents. We are trying to get together every weekend as a family because I don't think it's wise for any of us to be on our own right now, given the mental state that both of my parents are in. And I think it is a really good improvement for my family. I hope things get back to normal, or at least close to normal, soon enough. Update 3, Hey Everybody, it has been a week since I started college and I'm so relieved that this is finally happening. My grandparents are the ones covering my tuition, just like we had had.

planned, and my parents are finally okay with it. My parents are back to living on their own, they are trying couples counseling and from what I hear, things are going well for them. They have finally decided to get help from their parents and allow them to reinvest in the cafe so they can reinvent their business model and try to make it work. I hope that works for them, we are able to see the success that we had before, if not more, I really hope to inherit that and I want to run it because it has become a piece of my heart. I come. I come. I come. I kind of understand now why my father did not want to shut it even when we were suffering financially. Things are finally looking up for me and I really want to make the most of my college life.

I know it has been tough for me so far, but I want to enjoy my life to the fullest. Life is short and we never know what's going to happen next, so right now, I just want to live in a moment. I'm really done with worrying about the future constantly. Things will work out, I know that, and I don't want to constantly stress my myself out because I know that will never lead to anything good. My parents have already faced it, and I don't want to experience life the same way. I hope you enjoy this story. I labor diligently to tend to my children, tidy up the home, and meet all of my wife's requirements. However, she merely exploits me and consistently belittles me. Consequently, I eventually communicated her I'm done.

Hi, everyone. I, 30M, and my wife, 28F. So my wife is indeed a beautiful lady. I'm not interested in cheating or going behind her back. She just thinks we don't have a lot of sex because I have a low sex drive. Truth is, we don't have a lot of sex because we have it the way she wants it, and little to never how I want it. I'm all for using toys and whatever else to help her climax as many times as possible.

I'm a huge fan of oral and go for days, but she scarcely returns the favor. She once said, if you shower before bed, I'll do it. So for a week straight I made sure I was showered and clean because let's be real who wants to go down on a smelly person, totally reasonable request. So I would pleasure her and then indicate I'd like to be on the receiving end. To no avail. I have a high sex drive, but she has become a selfish lover and coming from a man, It's pretty comical to say this.

I have no words at this point and I'm pretty close to just giving up sex altogether. More info, I have a good stable career and my wife is a stay-at-home mom. She comes from a traditional home where the husband works and the wife stays at home to cook, clean, maintain the home slash raises the kids. I come from an extremely abusive and narcissistic family but I have vowed that the abuse stops with me. My wife and kids are my world and I make damn sure they know it. But lately, it feels like unless I do everything to the point where my wife just gets to sit and relax while I do all the chores, take care of the kids, cook, and everything, she makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. She calls it the bare minimum. It's not.

I work my ass off tirelessly and constantly. We went to a counseling session where I said I feel like I have a babysitter and not a wife. That went over about as well as you can imagine. No matter how much sleep I get, it's not enough. If a kid wakes up, I'm the one who gets them. I'm exhausted. I need a break. I'm tired of being put down for everything.

If I bring up an issue, it's twisted into something I do slash did and I wind up apologizing in trying to improve myself. Edit, yes, I have talked to my wife plenty of times about this reciprocity issue. A lot of you guys said the same thing which, hey, emotional maturity is fucking impossible to find, but yes. I am wide open with my concerns and more than just the sexual aspect of our marriage. Update 1, I made my signature dish because it was demanded by my in-laws that I make it. We go over for food and such. After we eat I took a little snooze on the couch.

My wife woke me up and said, hey, I need you to watch the kids. I'm going to have some wine. I mean all right, no problem. So while she was drinking and playing games with her family, I got put on kid duty for all the kids, I'm also the fun uncle so I didn't really care. I did care as my wife got progressively more and more intoxicated. When we left I literally had to throw her over my shoulder

while carrying both kiddos to the car. We got home, I made her drink water, got the kids around and put them to sleep, and helped my wife sober up a bit. We watched some TV and surprisingly, she cuddled into me and thanked me for taking care of her and the kids and she didn't mean to have so much wine. All right, I'm always pleased with self-awareness.

Literally, just that little bit washed away any irritation I had. I carried her to bed and laid her down. Got her some water and ibuprofen and a bucket just in case, and got her set up in bed. About two hours later I heard my son crying so I went to get him. He had some nightmares so I got him settled down and put him back to bed. A few hours later my daughter woke up because she peed through her pull up. I got her back to sleep.

When I got back into bed my wife was awake. I asked what was wrong. Her response was I was drunk. And you didn't even try to do anything to me? No, because even if we are married, I'm not going to take advantage of you. That's pathetic. I laid back down and she said if you want we can have sex before you go back to bed.

Mind you this was 4.30, and I was fucking beat and my mental fortitude was gone and this is. In my personal opinion, not the correct way to respond said if you want to have sex, you're going to have to help me up first. I'm not aroused and I'm not doing anything to get it going. She goes well I guess never mind. A couple of hours later the alarm went off, I got up. Got the kids around in my coffee. She comes out a few hours later dressed and says,

Why didn't you wake me up? You were up like four times with the kids. I was going to let you sleep. Nah, it's okay. You didn't even budge at my alarm this morning, so I figured you still needed to sleep. Why are you dressed? She said the girls want to go Black Friday shopping

and was wondering if I wanted to go. Nah. I'll hang out with the kids and watch movies. They are going to have a rough day. And that brings me to now. Having a cuddly movie day with my kids who are tired. She's out shopping. And I need another cup of coffee. Update 2.

So a lot has happened since Thanksgiving slash Black Friday. After we put the kids down on Saturday, I sat my wife down and told her for the first time she was going to listen to what I had to. to say and she will not interrupt or say anything back. I explained everything, how I'm feeling so awful because of her lack of interest. Because of her laziness and how it's not okay to just simply not exist because I come home from work. I explained it's not okay anymore to be a selfish lover because I am too good of a man slash husband to feel unworthy of love. The rest of the night she didn't really say much. The following morning, I woke up suddenly to my kids playing in the living

room. I instinctively ran out to see what they were into and how big of a mess there was. To my surprise, my wife was playing with them. She said she was sorry that she woke me up. She didn't realize how her lack of attention and interest was hurting me so much. So far so good. Monday rolls around. I posted in the dead bedroom subreddit to maybe get some advice on how to get my wife more interested in having sex. Someone suggested. suggested maybe she was being a pain in the ass and using me going down on her as a way to get her rocks off. I didn't even think of this possibility, so I asked bluntly if that was what she was doing. She responded with yes.

That's what she was doing but figured since I loved it so much that it was okay. That me going down on her multiple times was all I wanted. Nope. I didn't say much after that and kind of just stared off into space thinking about how I was nothing better than a sex toy to her. Then, I woke up early this morning feeling aroused as all hell so I decided I was going to wake her up the way she likes and give it one last Hail Mary attempt. I got into position and... Nope. She's too tired. At this point. Seriously. I am really stunned. Edit. So a lot of you guys have said to stop giving. So last night and this morning, I kept to myself.

When she rolled out of bed, she was pretty much pissed immediately. She kicked a pile of small boxes that I had neatly put together to take outside for garbage day. She was tossing things that were in her way. Had a short temper towards our kids, this did not fly and you best believe Papa Bear came out, and was saying nasty things as I was heading at the door because I didn't make her coffee this morning. Update she canceled our marital counseling session without telling me so we didn't go last night. She felt it was a waste of time when there was nothing wrong with our marriage. Took that time to deep clean my kitchen out of anger after my kids went down because I genuinely did not have it in me to even look at her.

I have refused to give her any sexual attention and I can see the frustration on her face about it. I'm still holding strong, but it really sucks when that was literally the only attention that our marriage had anymore. Pretty much a single dad at this point. Update it's been about five days since I did it and my wife. wife is acting short-tempered and cranky, but has not initiated anything. Last night, we got into a big disagreement about some stuff and divorce was put on the table, not just because of our DB, but because of a plethora of other issues. I have also decided that I'm going to up my fitness.

I've been doing boxing to enjoy the full-body workout, but now, I'm going to do my best to become a certified DELF. If I can get super fit and she still doesn't find me attractive enough to actually initiate. Then I have no clue what else to do. Update 3, I am writing this, sitting in my shower with tears of confusion streaming down my face. After a pretty big fight, I told my wife to go sleep at her parents' house for the next few days. At this point, I'm emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. A week before Christmas, we discussed with my in-laws taking the kids over to spend the day with them to have a day to ourselves with my wife. So, I woke up early, got them dressed, fed, and out the door, dropped them off at their

grandparents, came back, and my wife was still sleeping. I immediately went to work by picking up the living room, vacuumed, made sure everything was nice and tidy, went into the kitchen, put away the dishes that were washed the night prior, swept, mopped, and wiped down counters where I missed the night before. She came out around 9 a.m., asked where the kids were, explained, and was a.m., and was immediately met with annoyance. Asked why I would just pawn our kids off. They aren't her parents' responsibility, we literally never asked her parents for anything which is why they were actually excited to spend the day with them, etc. I made her a coffee and kept cleaning.

Scrubbed the bathroom floor to ceiling every nook and cranny, swept mopped, cleaned laundry room from top to bottom, put away all of our clothes, cleaned both kids' rooms. You get the idea. She took a nap at 12. Woke up at 4.30-ish. I had laid out a nice little date outfit for her so we could go out and have a little date. She told me she didn't feel like going anywhere. Fair enough. Let me cook for you, it's more intimate that way anyway.

Made one of her favorites. Was flirting with her the entire time I was cooking. Opened a bottle of wine, and I came into the living room wearing a nice suit. To see the outfit I picked out for her still on the counter. Okay. We ate, and cuddled up watching a TV show for a little bit I tried to get a little more intimate and she said she was too tired. The next day she spent the whole day picking at each and every decision I made. Second, guessing everything to the point of me getting a hairline close to blowing a gasket.

Then, two typical days of me waking up with kids, feeding them, working, cooking, and cleaning. Nothing really to report. Until today. Three days before Christmas. I left a roast out for her to put in the slow cooker. I had to leave for work early so I didn't have the time. I texted her the instructions. If anyone knows, an all-day slow cooker roast is literally the most comfort of comfort meals.

At least for me, it is. I texted her around three expressing how excited I was to come home for this roast. Um, I didn't put it in. Okay. That really sucks, but I'll do it tomorrow. I asked her to just pull out the chicken so it can thaw out. She didn't even do that. The moment I walked through the door, she went and sat in the shower. While she was in the shower, and I was cooking. My daughter got into her makeup. While cleaning her up, I told her she was beautiful enough as is and I didn't think she knew. She was in the shower. I didn't think she knew. I was cooking. I was in the shower. I was cooking. I was cooking. I was my daughter got into her makeup. While cleaning her up, I told her she was she was needed this. And from the next room, my wife yelled at me to not make her feel bad or put her down. So I asked her, how would you like for me to handle this if it happens again? The absolute venom in her response genuinely upset me because it's an innocent question. This led to us arguing the entire time to ourselves. Me trying to hold off until the kids went down. Her yelling in my face. After we got the kids down, I went to her car, started it, came back in and let her yell

for a few more minutes, and then told her to get the fuck out of my house. That she is done speaking to me like I'm trash. That I deserve better. That I deserve to be loved. That I am a better husband than she ever deserved on her best day. She fought with me on leaving but I got her some clothes, put them in my duffel bag, and gave it to her. Phone charger and everything she needed. When she told me she was taking the kids with her, my cool and calm demeanor instantly snapped. I'm not a physically imposing person. I'm not a rude or mean person. I stepped right to her face and without touching her, told her if she thinks she can take my kids from me, she can try. She left. Her dad, who is a man I have great respect for,

came over, asked for my side. I explained, and he put his hand on my shoulder. Didn't say a word. Just stood up. Walked to the door and turned to me. Tears in his eyes as well, said I didn't raise her like that. So here I am. Mad, sad. Hurt. Broken. Thank you all for reading and giving me your support. A lot of you said nice things. Some of you have you. called me a doormat. I'm proud to say I stood up for myself and my children. I have already sat down with lawyers to discuss an exit strategy and I'm scared to death I'll lose my kids. Hopefully, the next update is a positive one. Update 4. So, the night after I asked my wife to leave for a few days. Her dad came back over. We had a really good talk about what's going on with my wife. He, like many of

you, came to the conclusion she was depressed, told her that she needed to get off her butt and get help where she was going to lose her family. Literally, nothing I haven't said to her already 100 times over. It was nearing bedtime for my kids and he knew that so he asked if he could take my kids with him that night so they could do Christmas Eve in the morning with them. Mind you this was Christmas Eve Eve so I allowed it. Got their clothes together and sent them on their way. My house was deadly quiet and that was upsetting in its own right. I decided to have a few drinks and ask myself if this is what my life would be if I left her

for good. An empty house. No laughter from my kids. Knowing they aren't sleeping but a few feet from me in a different room. It felt wrong. The following morning I went over to her parents for Christmas Eve. Played the good dad and husband. Got toy gifts for everyone.

Spent the whole day doing my best to put on that brave face. When it came time to go, I asked my wife to come home with me. I didn't want my kids to wake up Christmas morning without their mom. I put the kids down. Finished wrapping gifts and went to bed a little early. I got the wife a new copy of Pokemon Scarlet, new headphones, kids broke hers, a new Kindle since she wanted a waterproof one, and a foot warmer since her feet are always cold when she sits at her desk. I got, from her, a new desk mat, which honestly was spot on I needed it. Then, New Year's Eve rolled around. Put the kids down.

I sat with her on the couch and told her we need to talk. To figure something out because we both know where we both know. we are at the edge of a cliff and I'm ready to jump. I tell her to just talk to me. Tell me anything. Tell me she's depressed. Tell me there's something wrong. Hell, I will even take you telling me you're having an affair because at least you're talking to me. What she said next kind of rocked me. She said she loves me as the father of her kids but she doesn't love me anymore and she's been trying to figure out how to say it for months. She used me as a tool to climax, she told me. She took me as a tool to climax, she took all her frustration out on me and used me as a punching bag and it pissed her off

knowing that no matter what she did, that I never stopped being warm. Never stopped being kind, never stopped being thoughtful. Never for a day decided to stoop to her level. She thought that I was no longer interested in her physically since I stopped initiating the intimacy. I corrected her. She objectified my love of giving. She told me no too many times. She told me no too many times. She treated me like I was some idiot who at no point knew what I was doing when it came to everyday tasks. No one wants to have sex with someone who is constantly making them feel unworthy. We came to the conclusion that we both are here for the kids. It's unhealthy and not fair to either of us.

It's not fair to the kids. I've been watching single dad videos and looking at other subredits, forums, basically, everything and I'm terrified of the next steps. We both agreed that if divorce came the pass, we would be as amicable as possible for our kids. We don't want any resentment or unkind feelings to get in the way of what's best for them. I am already in therapy. I'm encouraging her to get some as well. I need to sleep but I haven't slept right since. Even as I'm writing this I'm in bed feeling pretty numb.

Update 5. Hey y'all. I appreciate every one of you for following along with me on. this journey. I come bearing good news. To catch everyone up since the last update, it's been your standard wife just vibing while I clean, cook, take care of the house, and everything else. For the past few weeks, I've been working on myself. Working out, eating better, drinking more water, and just really focusing on myself when the kids aren't around. Last night it really came to a head, however, I've been having a depressive spell the past few days and really just have no motivation for anything extra. She looked at me and asked me why do you look so down

these past couple of days. It could have been the sleep deprivation, or depression, honestly I don't know, but I responded with it's really hard to be happy when you're around. We sat for a little bit in silence and I just told her that I'm tired of constantly being belittled, yell that, and treated like I'm never good enough while she sits on her perch in a broken record and Barks orders. I told her I know we don't want the kids in daycare, but we need to figure something out because I'm done. I don't want to be in this marriage anymore. I don't want to be her husband anymore. I don't know what I'm going to do next. I don't know what the future holds. What I do know is I'm going to be going through with the divorce. So yeah, I asked my wife

for a divorce. She kind of just sat there for a while, got up, and went to bed. It's been a long time coming and I think she didn't think I'd ever actually rip the eject cord. She's been quiet today via texting as well. I know it took me too long to get to this point, but trust me when I say this, it was a lot of me wanting to work it out because I took my marriage vow seriously, and at this point, my soul is intact.

The more I think about this whole thing, I realize that it's been a slow build for a long while. I remember once she showed me a TikTok about how when he spent so much time spoiling you but then gets annoyed when you act spoiled and she went, That's me. I thought it was funny at the time, but looking at it now it's really annoying that I put so much effort into a person who was okay with being lazy because she knew I'd handle it.

I always gave her the benefit of the doubt. Encouraged her to make sure she took care of herself. Encouraged her to take those breeders if she needed them. If she was too exhausted, I'd be happy to handle it. What that turned into was unless I handled everything, she was pissed. She was rude, nasty, and disrespectful. I just didn't realize it until it was already ingrained in my brain that I need to be doing all these things just to get this person to want to see me and be around me. Anyway, I've told myself once the papers are signed, I'll take a minimum of six months before I even look at a woman. I'm always true to my word so. I'm going to give myself a break. However, I know it'll be hard because, even though, I'm sure people here are like, yeah.

This man's bout to be single. People who obviously don't know my story will just see a single divorce date of two and more than likely assume it was my fault the marriage ended. I deserve happiness. I deserve to be loved. I'm terrified of the upcoming battle for my kids. I'm excited to enter the dating pool. Kind day. Not a lot. Exactly. But again, all of you, thank you for your kind messages and support. I hope you enjoy this story. I offered an opportunity to my distant father and asked him to attend my wedding. However, he declined to accompany me down the walkway due to the influence of his spouse and favoured child. Only for them. I, 30F, am getting married in about a month to my

best friend, 35m. I did not grow up knowing my dad, 55M, very well as him and my mom divorced when I was an infant. He remarried and had several kids with his new wife, who hates my very existence. There was a lot of hurtful things done when I was growing up, like not being allowed in her house when I visited that led me to be estranged for my father. He never really made much of an effort, but after I was 18 I completely cut him off from my mental health and stopped answering the few calls he attempted. He tried to get into contact every once in a while over the years, but I honestly just ignored him. I was hurt and angry. About a year ago I got back into contact with some extended family on his side and have been forging a good bond with all of them.

I invited them all to our wedding and they have been amazing. Eventually I started speaking with my dad as well back around Christmas and it was tense at first but I decided to just give him a chance. We have slowly been getting a semblance of a relationship back and I saw him in person with my fiancé a couple months ago. His wife is not pleased at all and apparently their kids, my half-siblings, all adults, are also upset about it. I think there were threats of divorce, but my dad still decided to go to my wedding. After a ton of thought, I asked my dad if he wanted to walk me down the aisle as I have been hopeful for a better relationship, but he turned me down. I wouldn't be as upset if he gave a generic excuse, but he told me his wife and other daughter requested he does not walk me down the aisle as that is reserved for his other, daughter and not

me. I am super hurt and not even sure what to reply to that with. He offered to stand at the front and give me away instead, but that isn't what I want. My fiancé thinks we should uninvite him and move on, but I'm not sure if that is the best course of action. He is coming from out of state with the rest of his family. his family so he already bought a plain ticket and hotel room. Part of me thinks to just politely turn him down, have him as a regular guest, and then just stop talking to him again after the wedding.

My mom isn't coming to my wedding because she lives really far away, so I don't really have any other immediate family coming. I'm not sure what the best course of action is and the wedding is getting super close so I have to make a decision soon. Edd Wow this post has blown up, thank you all so much for the advice and comforting words. To answer some common questions I am seeing, know his wife and my half siblings are not attending a wedding. I invited them but they won't even meet me, let alone go to the wedding. He has two sons and a daughter with this new wife, all in their 20s. I am not sure if my dad cheated on my mom with my stepmom, my mom through all her faults never actually said a bad word about him. He did marry my stepmom by the time I was two years old though, so there wasn't

much time in between marriages. They are also very Christian in the worst way, as in they don't really follow what they claim to believe. My mom cannot fly as she has panic attacks. She also is actually a worse parent than my dad in a lot of ways believe it or not. I have no male relatives to walk me down the aisle. I also never wanted him to give me away as I think that is I just wanted my dad to act like my dad for one moment. My fiancé and I have decided to walk down the aisle together as one of you suggested, so that part is settled. I'll update everyone once I decide what to do and if there is any response. Comments

Stellis Delamaris, do you want this rude, mean, stranger at your wedding or do you not? He isn't going to suddenly turn into a nice person or good father to you. If you let him come I would absolutely need. not involve him in the ceremony in any way. Like, he doesn't get a seat at the front, he doesn't get to speak or stand or do anything. Perhaps you and your fiancé would consider walking down the aisle together, or on your own. It does not have to be with a father figure, especially not this one, who doesn't see you as a daughter. Do what is right for you. Your wedding doesn't exist to fix your family. One sweet submarine, yes, all of this.

Op, I'd hate for you to look at wedding photos ten years down the road and be sad because this pouse is in photos with you. You're a gem for wanting to try and make things work and he's a dick and an idiot for making little to no effort. I'm sorry less than three, Op, that is a great point about the pictures, that is my most important thing for the wedding so having him in a ton of the pictures will just make me sad when I look back. Jealous Bed 1807 Hey, Op, I don't have any great words of wisdom. for you other than to say that sucks and to send you a big dad hug, it's what your dad should be giving you as he walks you down the aisle, but, in its absence, please accept a hug from a random internet dad who is proud of you and wishes you a wonderful wedding day. Also, it's not your

responsibility that your dad has bought a plane ticket and hotel room. Kids of emotionally unavailable parents spend all their time trying to look after their parents' emotional needs in the hopes that their parents might eventually see them and love them. You don't need to look at after your dad anymore. He made his choice. Listen to your fiancé. It's not now and has never been okay for your dad to hurt you. He made his choice to appease his wife rather than being fully with you on your big day. It's okay for you to make your choice to have your wedding without him. It might feel like it would be nice to have immediate family at your wedding but really having him there would most likely just be a reminder of the love and support you needed

and deserved as a child and that you never received. Ah, thank you so much Internet, Dad, I needed to hear this. My mom isn't much better, but I gave up any hope with her a long time ago. Seems like I need to give up hope with my dad as well. On the bright side my aunt and her family are amazing people, so they will be great at the wedding regardless. Update, hello everyone, just wanted to start by saying, Thank you so much for your kind words and advice to my original post. It made me feel so much better.

We had an amazing wedding and honeymoon. Everything went really well. My husband wants to thank everyone who said some form of listen to your fiancé, ha. I'll start with what happened right after my 30F last post. I did un-invite my dad, 50M, from my wedding, the whole interaction was too hurtful to let go of. Before telling him I was uninviting him, I spoke with my aunt slash his sister Sandy, 50SF, who was furious at her brother for what he said to me. She has been such a great support of me and my husband which has been amazing honestly. After I sent my dad an email detailing how hurtful he had been and that he was uninvited, Sandy called him and yelled at him for being an ass.

He replied to my email with a bunch of nonsense deflection about how he has to make sure both sides are happy, but apparently told Sandy, not me, he was sorry and that it was a miscommunication. He claims to Sandy that he was only trying to negotiate with me and that he would have walked me down the aisle if that was what I really wanted. I highly doubt that. My mill, who is extremely conservative and religious, actually said my dad needed to grow some balls, which shocked literally everyone, ha-ha. I replied to him that I stood firm in my decision to uninvite and to not contact me again until after the wedding, but that if he did contact me at all it better be with the understanding that he needs to be present in my life the same way he is his other kids,

otherwise to not reach out again. Around this time, right before the wedding, I called my mom and asked her about what really happened with her and my dad when I was a baby, because she never talked about it with me growing up. Unlike my dad and stepmom, my mom never once said anything bad about my dad to me. She was always neutral-slash positive about him, which I have since thanked her for as it let me come to my own conclusions about what a deadbeat he is. My mom and I had a good cry about everything and she let me know how abusive and awful my dad was to her when I was a baby after they split up. I also found out that he married his new wife when I was less than a year old, which is insane considering my parents were still 100% together the day I was born. Sandy swears up and

down that she introduced my dad and stepmom to each other after my parents split as they, stepmom and Sandy, were classmates in college. I don't really care either way at this point, it is just interesting to see how no one has a clear idea of what happened. My thought is that they were cheating and then used Sandy to introduce them to cover up their behavior. Keep in mind they are all very Christian, even though they clearly don't follow any of their religious teachings. I didn't hear anything from my dad during the wedding and Sandy and her family still came. We all had a blast and everyone was so happy for us. The pictures turned out great and there isn't anyone in them that I wish I could Photoshop out,

so I definitely knew un-inviting my dad ended up being the best decision we could make. I talked to Sandy about my dad over the holidays and she said that him and his wife slash kids were refusing to go to any family dinners or parties because they are upset that everyone else talks to me. I have been in regular contact with Sandy, my uncle Jerry, and all of their kids which makes my stepmom feel betrayed. Sandy is pissed at her because they used to be friends but never understood what her issue was with me. I found out my stepmom treated me like crap the second she had her first kid when I was still a toddler, which probably doesn't surprise anyone. I didn't hear from my dad all through December, but finally in late January I got a random email from him. He sent a long email blaming me for him not being in my life, telling me his wife and kids are more important, but that we need to still be in each other's lives.

It was the most BS email he had sent me so far and completely disregarded my wishes back in October when I told him to not contact me unless he was going to treat me like his actual child. I ended up not responding and just blocking his email. I also told Sandy to not share any of the pictures or videos from the wedding with him and to not talk about me. with him. I think this will be the end of the relationship with him, since he clearly is incapable of being a parent to me. I feel a lot more at peace with everything that happened and I am completely okay with how it all turned out. One commenter on my original post said something along the lines of not knowing if my dad would have been a bad parent since he wasn't around and that really has stuck with me. Thinking about it now, he probably would have been even worse had he

actually been in my life. Unfortunately, both my parents are emotionally stunted, but I made a good use of the life that was handed to me and will hopefully break the cycle with my own kids one day. I didn't mention in my last post that my husband and I are going to be moving to the same state as my family in the next year. I was worried at first being closer to my dad, but honestly he and his bitter wife and kids can do whatever they want, I'm just going to live my life how I want to. We were planning on moving to this date before I ever got back in contact with my family so we will continue to do what is best for us.

Anyways, thank you again, kind Reditors, you really helped me not feel sad or upset for my wedding day. Lady'll sees I'm so glad that you had a wonderful wedding. I wish you and your hubby the best in the future. Live the best of your life with hope, faith, and love. Best revenge you can have. P.S. something to think about, stepmom may have told your step-siblings that Daddy had an affair, and that may be why they hate you. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Peret exposed my wife's affair with her in turn after anger management fixed our toxic marriage. I caught them on hidden

camera and got her fired. I, 32M, was married to my ex-wife, 29F, for three years. We were mad that in love, but unfortunately, our marriage couldn't work because of her infidelity. The first time my ex-wife and I met was on a dating site. As of that time, I was desperately looking for someone to settle down with because I was tired of being lonely, and she came around at the right time. So, after meeting each other physically for the first time, we had more dates, and as we got to know ourselves better, we fell deeply in love. Our relationship started as a very beautiful one. We used to hang out every weekend, spend quality time with each other and do fun stuff together.

But after about a year of dating my wife, I noticed she had anger issues. At first, her anger issues started as nagging and making mountains out of molehills. Then it got so bad that she would break stuff whenever she was angry. Then once she became calm again, she would apologize and cry for forgiveness. When I noticed this bad attribute, I wanted to break up. with her, but each time she begged me, I would forgive her, only for the same thing to repeat itself. There was even a time I was so close to breaking up with her because she had an altercation with my mom one time. She came to visit me, but because she had enrolled for

anger management classes and I saw a bit of improvement, I forgave her. All this while, I didn't know I was shooting myself in the leg, and marrying her was one of my mistakes. When most people tell stories of how they enjoyed the first years of their marriage, I can't relate to that because the first two years of my marriage were filled with fights and arguments. My wife had multiple personalities. One day, she would be all loving and lovely. The next day, she would be so angry over little things she shouldn't be angry about. Aside from the anger issues my wife had, she was a sweet and hardworking wife. She took care of me and my needs in the house too. She also worked for a big organization in the town we lived in, so in terms of finances, she was earning more.

Despite earning more, we split the bills equally, and we both took care of our responsibilities. I think I kept holding on to my wife and believed she would change because she was putting in a lot of effort to be a better person, and I wanted to support her. I also knew she grew up in a toxic and abusive environment, and how she was raised contributed greatly to her anger issues. Whenever she did something terrible or broke something, I wanted to leave her, but I couldn't. We had a lot of beautiful memories together, and I didn't want to judge her based on her bad side alone. She also kept telling me that I was the only guy who had stuck with her in both the good and bad times. None of her relationships worked in the past because all the men she dated kept leaving her. I wanted to be the good husband who would stick to his marital vows of her better, for worse, and fortunately,

the relationship between my wife and I started getting better in the third year of our marriage. Months after our second anniversary, I noticed that the relationship between my wife and I had improved so much. She no longer argued and fought over everything, which was a big step up for us. Initially, I thought that she was getting better at controlling her anger because of the new therapy she was getting. Also, it didn't just stop with the improvement in our communication. My wife began to act like a totally different person. For example, she often complained about work when she returned from the office, but that changed. Instead, she would come home and tell me how she was finally getting along with her colleagues in her organization. Aside from that, she became more cheerful,

and everything seemed to change about her. Honestly speaking, all the changes I noticed for months were because of her anger management therapy sessions, and I even went as far as dropping a great review and a five-star on her therapist's website. It felt so good to have peace in my marriage and hold a conversation for a whole day without ditching plates. Out of happiness, I even told my friends about her improvement, and they were so happy for me. On the other hand, when my wife's anger issues improved, she became so engrossed with work around the same time, which did not allow us to get as close as I wanted. Despite her busy work schedule, I never complained because it was better for her to be calm and engrossed with work than constantly fighting and

complaining about work. While I was innocently and wholeheartedly happy for my wife, I didn't know she was doing the unthinkable behind me. The day I found out, I returned home, and my parrot started saying a name I didn't know. Our parrot was good with picking new names or anything that sounded like a name. So, when I heard that name, I suspected that someone had visited our house and he must have heard someone call the name. When I asked my wife about it, she insisted that he must have gotten the name from the television, and that did not sit well with me. Mainly because when I tried to argue that my parrot couldn't pick the name from a movie, she flipped for the first time in a long while and walked out of me. The moment she walked out of me in anger, I suspected that something

was going on. I thought someone must have visited our home, and my wife didn't want me to know about it, so I decided to find out. In the following days, I bought a small-sized camera and hid it in my parrot's cage to confirm my suspicion. Then the next day, I told my wife I was traveling to the nearby estate to visit my mom, but I was crashing at a friend's house. That same evening, as I stayed in my friend's house to watch my house, I saw something that shattered my heart and destroyed our marriage. I watched as my wife came in with one of her organization's new interns, and they did it on our couch, right in front of the bird and in the camera. Before I found out my wife was cheating on me, I told my friends about my parrot and the strange male name it kept saying,

but they said I was paranoid. And my parrot might have heard the name from a movie, and my wife flipped and walked out of me because I was annoyed. It would be an understatement to say I was disappointed, shattered, and devastated. I could not believe that the same woman I tolerated her anger issues, and stood by her on the days I should have been out there breathing fresh air, was cheating on me with an intern. It felt like a bad dream I needed to wake up from, but sadly, it was my harsh reality. About two days after I learned about my wife's infidelity, my broken state turned to anger, and I thought of ways to pay her back. Finally, I had something, and I knew destroying all her years of hard work and commitment to her organization would be a major hit for her,

so I sent the video footage to her company, and I was sure they would take action. I returned home a week later because I wanted to cool off and put myself together. When I eventually got home, I met my wife at home. She had been fired by this time, and the intern had been dismissed. When I asked my wife why she wasn't at work, she said her company was downsizing, so they had to let her go. Immediately she said that, I started laughing and told her I knew why she was fired. She was confused and didn't understand what I meant. Before I went home, I had already contacted a divorce lawyer to start processing our divorce.

So, I told my wife I was behind the video sent to her organization, and at the snap of a finger, she flipped and started yelling at the top of her voice. She said she was glad she cheated on me because I was a weak man, and I didn't satisfy her. her in bed, so she had to make herself happy. What an excuse. When she said that, my anger level skyrocketed, and before she had the opportunity to start throwing things at me as usual, I pulled her with strength and threw her out of my house. She made a scene outside, and after she was tired of yelling, she took the few things I had thrown out and left. A few days later, she started calling my phone non-stop, and she sent multiple messages saying that she was a changed

person and would never cheat on me again. I'd be stupid if I gave her another opportunity. We eventually divorced, and I've been living my best life since then. I never thought I'd say this, but I feel more at peace without my wife. It's almost like I've been let out of an invincible cage, and I feel so relieved. I do not miss my ex-wife, and I'm so glad things turned out that way, or else I might still be stuck in our marriage, hoping that she would evolve into the kind of woman I wanted. One thing I've learned the hard way is to never try and save people like my wife because you will drown in the process of saving them. As for my precious parrot, I'm glad he helped me get out of that terrible marriage. Now, none of my friends doubt my parrot anymore.

I hope you enjoy this story. Organized a fantastic seaside escape for my partner's special day. She opted to spend time with her pals instead, leading to a chaotic situation. I, a 28-year-old man, have been in a relationship with my significant other, a 25-year-old woman, for eight months. My girlfriend has had a very tight-knit group of girlfriends since high school and she never does anything without consulting them first. We met at a work event a year ago and got to talking and I asked her out several times before she finally said yes. The reason for that, I found out later, was that she was waiting for her friends to approve of me.

I thought it was a little strange that she couldn't even say yes to a date without her friend's permission but she told me that this was normal in her circle so I didn't question it any further. I've met her friends and they seem to be nice people so I don't have any issues. They must be looking out for their friend as well, so I guess this works for my girlfriend. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, my girlfriend told me that she'd always loved the idea of going on a beach trip with her partner but it never materialized because of some reason or the other. Her birthday was coming up so I decided to surprise her with a beach trip. I planned it all and booked a relaxing spa for her as well, just to make it extra special.

Obviously, she didn't know anything about it and I made sure that I didn't give it away since I was pretty bad at secrets. I was really excited about this trip as well since this would be the first big thing that I did for my girlfriend and I wanted it to be as memorable as possible. But then, a few days before her birthday, she sat me down and told me that she wanted to go out partying with her friends. She said that they've been planning to take her out for weeks and promised to make it up to me later on. I asked her if her friends could do it at a later date, but she told me that she's the one who wanted to spend her birthday with them and hoped that I wouldn't take it to heart. Of course, saying that didn't help since it did hurt me that she didn't want to spend her

day with me. I tried to convince her, but in the end, she just got annoyed with me and told me that she wasn't going to change her mind and I needed to suck it up and accept her decision. I was really upset about what she'd said, so I decided to cancel the trip entirely. I did lose some money, but whatever. I was really pissed off and hurt that she would rather spend her birthday with her friends than with me. I mean, I understand that she's been friends with them for a long time, but as her boyfriend, I was really looking forward to spending time with her as well. She spends every single weekend going out with her friends and stuff and I never mind it simply because I know how much her friends mean to her. I just wanted her to spend time with me over her

friends and I know that makes me sound selfish but it just sucks that she always picks her friends over me. I cancelled the trip and I didn't even bother to tell her about what I'd planned since I'd really wanted it to be a surprise and she'd already ruined it all by saying that she wanted to be with her friends instead of me. It was her birthday yesterday and she did end up spending it partying with her friends and they seemed to have had a lot of fun. My friends found it a little weird as well but I didn't care. I was really upset the whole day and tried not to think about it. Today, she came over and I tried to act as though nothing has to be. had happened. She seemed to be quite happy as well and was telling me all about how her friends

had gotten her drunk and how much fun they'd had, without even noticing how hurt I looked. After a while, I felt like I was going to cry and I didn't want to seem like a baby in front of her so I excused myself to go to the loo. I was extremely upset about everything that had happened in the past few days and didn't know how to tell her that I was feeling neglected without seeming like I was insecure. Anyway, I washed my face and went back. out so that I could try to talk to her about how she was making me feel. But when I came back out, I noticed that my girlfriend looked serious and saw that my phone was clutched in her hands.

As soon as she saw me, she approached me and showed me my phone screen, demanding an explanation as to why I'd cancelled her birthday trip. The resort that I booked had sent a text about how they regretted that I had canceled my stay and informed me that my refund was complete now with all the details included. I guess my girlfriend saw that and realized what had happened, but instead of seeming sorry, she seemed angry and that was pretty confusing for me. Keeping my calm, I told her that I'd canceled the trip the day she told me that she'd rather spend her birthday with her friends instead.

And when I said that to her, she totally flipped out on me and started yelling at me about how I'd ruined her birthday. She was really pissed off and said that I had been extremely immature and that I should have at least told her about my plan to try and convince her to come with me. I didn't understand how any of this was my fault since I'd done something to surprise her, but she's the one who rejected it without even giving me a chance. I reminded her that I'd even tried to get her to spend the day with me, but she's the one who was hell-bent on going out with her friends and even ended up fighting

with me when I was trying to convince her. She got even more annoyed while I was arguing with her and called me immature and selfish. And then she accused me of ruining her special day on purpose once again, so I shot right back, saying that had she at least given me a chance to take her out then she would have known what I had in store for her. So she only has herself to blame in this situation and calling me immature wasn't going to change what had already happened. I told her that she needed to re-valuate her priorities and stop acting like she and her friends were still in high school. She was already pretty upset and when I said that, she called me a jerk and left my house in tears. It's been two hours since she left and while initially, I had felt better after fighting

with her and getting it all off my chest, I actually do feel like a total jerk right now. I can't get the image of her crying out of my head and feel like I did ruin her birthday somehow even though the logical part of my brain says that I'm not responsible for this. It's just that I really, really like this woman, and apart from her sort of juvenile behavior when it comes to her friends, she's pretty much perfect. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that she's so loyal to her friend since it just goes to show that she's just a loyal and trustworthy person in general. But sometimes it feels as though she likes spending time with them more than she does with me and that's really hurtful. I think anyone in my place would feel the same way as well.

However, I think this time I might have acted rashly and ended up hurting her feelings. I don't feel good about what I did and what I said in the least even though I thought that getting this way, off my chest would make me feel better about this situation. But it didn't and now I'm feeling really confused. On one hand, I want to apologize to her and just get this fight over with, but on the other, I know that this isn't my fault. She's always put her friends above me and while I know that she's known them a lot longer than she's known me, it obviously doesn't hurt any less.

I'm lost and I truly have no idea what to do right now. I'm panicking because if I don't do something fast, I might end up losing her. I don't want to risk that, but I don't want to apologize either. To be honest, which is why I'm here to ask if I'd for canceling the beach trip I'd plan for my GF's birthday after she told me that she wanted to spend the day with her friends instead. Update 1, one, one whole day has passed since our fight and this is probably the longest that we've gone without speaking to each other. It feels weird as hell, but I'm not going to apologize to her first if that's what she's expecting. I thought about this situation real hard and I just cannot understand how exactly I am in the wrong here. I don't think I am, so I'm not going to apologize either.

And I'm guessing my girlfriend has already told her friends about this incident because a few minutes ago, I checked my social media and realized that some of them had blocked me. The ones who hadn't were posting cryptic quotes and pictures of them with my girlfriend. girlfriend about how she deserved better. It irked me a lot that they were enabling her and making her feel even more as though she was the victim of something terrible and not just the consequences of her own actions. Moreover, I couldn't believe that these women who had been so nice to me every time I'd met them had turned on me and were now trying to make me the bad guy despite knowing damn well that I'm not. If they were good friends of my girlfriend and wanted the best for her, they would

have explained to her that she was wrong here and what I did was just natural but they're adding to the fire instead. It's just disgusting and honestly, I think that they're just not happy that my girlfriend has a partner. Now that I think of it, there are seven other girls in her group and none of them have had the same boyfriend for over three months. I'm not shaming them or anything but earlier, it really used to make me think about why they just couldn't make a relationship work. I'm not the kind of guy who just breaks up whenever the going gets tough and I like to give relationships my all before I even consider breaking up. So to me things like these are really strange and don't really make sense to me then why girlfriend

and I have had small fights and disagreements before but we've always managed to fix it within a few hours and I don't think she's ever complained to her friends about it. I'm guessing it's because her friends will only advise her to break up at the slightest inconvenience. I don't want to break up with my girlfriend and do want to talk things out with her but if she decides to take her friend's advice and break up with me then, what Well, that's her loss. I'll be very hurt but at least I'll know that I did the right thing and stayed true to myself. Update two three days ago, I posted the last update when I realized that some of her friends

had blocked me and were egging her on to break up with me, in all probability. And today I got to know that I'd definitely been right about my suspicions. My girlfriend and I hadn't spoken for three days after our fight and by today, I'd given up hope of getting back with her and was almost sure that we were unlawful. over. I was really upset and decided to take a day off from work so that I could spend it at home, moping and watching something fun to feel better. But then a few hours ago, my doorbell rang and I was a little surprised as I wasn't expecting anyone. But when I opened the door, I found my girlfriend standing out there with a bouquet and a box of my favorite chocolates. I was stunned

for a second since I absolutely had no clue how to react to this. As a guy, I've literally never been spoiled in a relationship and an apology like this seemed huge. I let her in silently since I still didn't know what to say to her and after a few seconds of awkwardness, she finally blurted out that she was really sorry about whatever had happened and wanted to get back with me if I would still have her. She didn't even give me a chance to speak and went on talking about how after our fight, she'd headed over to a friend's house since they had planned to meet that afternoon for brunch anyway so she'd just shown up early. When she met them, she told them what had happened and just as I'd expected, they were all up in arms about it and demanded that she break up with me

immediately. They even told her that they'd never liked me anyway and made all sorts of mean comments about my height and the way I looked. Then, one of her friends suggested that she should go out on a date with another guy just to make me mad. And that's when the warning bell started going off in her head because she knew that what her friend was suggesting was literally the definition of cheating and emotional manipulation. To her surprise, her own Other friends agreed with this tactic as well and even told her that they tried this in the past and it always worked when it came to making the guy apologize. This was the first time that she told her friends about a serious relationship problem and she was shocked at whatever her friends were suggesting. She told them that she didn't want to do that, but that just made her friends mock her for being too pansy and simple-minded and even said that her submissive behavior was the reason I, her boyfriend, felt comfortable doing such mean things to her.

I am my girlfriend's first serious adult relationship since the first relationship she had was in high school which lasted for a year but they broke up when they went to college and he ended up cheating on her. She didn't date anyone after that because of her trust issues and stuff and of course, her friends never deemed anyone worthy of dating anyway so while she did go on a couple of dates and have some flings for fun, it was never really meaningful. She told me that she knew that she wanted to make things work with me and even though we've been together for less than a year, she already felt attached to me and that couldn't be changed. So listening to her friend's advice and watching them post stuff just to piss me off and even laugh about it like it was all some hilarious joke made her realize that they didn't actually have any good relationship advice for her and were actually probably toxic in their own respective relationships as well. She thought along the same lines that I did about how they could never stick it out with the same guy for more than a few months and came to the conclusion that they were probably not the right people to take relationship advice from. She'd realized her mistake that day itself and even told her friends towards the end of the day about how she wanted to apologize to me and fix things, but that's when they started telling her that she should just listen to them instead and said that apologizing would set a bad precedent and would make her appear weak. She tried to argue that she really was in the wrong here and that apologizing for their own mistake isn't something weak people do, but her friends got pissed off when she tried to disagree with them and after arguing with her for a few minutes. They gave her an ultimatum and said that she could either stay friends with them or go crawling back to me.

My girlfriend mentioned that this was the exact phrase that they used and I was kind of shocked that they'd say something like that since it's kind of harsh. and while my girlfriend was desperate to apologize to me and fix our relationship, she was also extremely afraid of losing her friends. She doesn't really have anyone outside of this circle and would end up completely friendless if she chose me, which is why she took two days to come around as she spent these days doing nothing but sobbing in her room and binge eating ice cream out of sheer frustration. But today, she'd woken up with a clear mind and knew that she'd rather be with me than with her friends since these two days had made her realize, just how toxic and controlling her friends were.

They hadn't even bothered to check up on her after they'd met and were only concerned about some irrelevant gossip they'd heard about some girl from their high school. This made her realize that while she was ready to move on and act like an adult, her friends were still acting like the mean girls' clique they'd formed in high school which was just not okay anymore. I guess I'd been right about her friends after all. So it didn't take her much time to decide that she wanted to apologize to me and make things work because I'm what she needed to make her life better. After her big speech, I was dumbstruck

for a few minutes, but as soon as I realized what she was saying, I hugged her without a word and we actually ended up crying because of how relieved we were. It's been a while since that happened and we've decided to spend the next two days together to make up for lost time. We're also planning on going on that beach trip that had been cancelled next weekend, so I guess it all worked out for the best. Update 3, hey, I thought that the last update would be final but my girlfriend's friends are awful people so here I am again. Two days ago, my girlfriend and I got back together and she shared a selfie of us online with a cute little caption. Her friend saw that and immediately began bombarding her with calls and texts, accusing her of going against their girl code and

calling her stupid and weak. They told her that she needed to delete that picture right away or else they'd cut her off, but my girlfriend didn't care anymore and told them to go right ahead. This seemed to piss them off and they kicked her out of their group. I thought that that would be the most that they could do but apparently not. They started posting all sorts of crap about my girlfriend about how she was a weak-minded woman who had no self-respect and one of them even posted that she deserved to be cheated on. They'd basically started a whole hate campaign against her and even though she'd blocked them all, people were still sending her everything that was being posted about her and asking about it.

Obviously, she's very upset about it and hate the fact that there's not much I can do to prevent it from happening. I asked her if she wanted me to get my lawyer involved so that we could put an end to this, but she declined, saying that doing something so extreme would only make matters worse. I'm obviously not going to do anything without making sure she's okay with it first, but it just sucks that she's having to deal with this situation at all. I feel really helpless and equally upset about whatever's happening. Her friends are just horrible women with absolutely no compassion or morals, and I can't even believe that they're doing something like this to someone they were friends with up until two days ago.

This is disgusting. Update 4. Well, my girlfriend got back at her friends and how. I'm so proud of her for standing up to them and showing the world what kind of crappy people they really were. Her friends have been posting about her yesterday and while she was terribly upset in spite of the fact that she'd blocked them, she decided that she'd had enough of it today. She told me that she was going to make sure they regret talking crap about her online and expose them for the mean girls that they'd always been. She had a lot of texts from the group that she used to be in where her friends would gossip about other people from their high school and make fun of literally everyone, even the people they would pretend to be friends with outside of their circle. So she took several screenshots of those old chats and decided to post them online, tagging each and every person that her friends had been talking about.

She herself had never been part of it because she didn't like gossiping and most of the people that her friends would talk about behind their backs were actually pretty nice so they had no reason to be so mean to them after a while. That post pretty much brought a whole barrage of pure hatred from her high school classmates against her old friends in the comments. She'd unblocked them for that very reason, too, and was glad to see that her friends were struggling to defend themselves in whatever they'd said. Of course, they were pretty pissed off about it as well. They added her to a group call and threatened to ruin her life and stuff now that she'd gone against them, but I called them on their bluff this time and told them that if they even thought about trying to do anything else to mess with me and my girlfriend, then we'd be taking legal action against them so they'd better stop. They tried to argue with me, but I wasn't having it and totally told them off about their juvenile and frankly, idiotic behavior.

I told them what I thought of them and how they were nothing but a bunch of losers so-called alpha females who still relied on their parents and boyfriends to pay for them everywhere. I ended by telling them to get a real job and stop harassing my girlfriend for attention, and by then I could hear some of them crying while the others tried to attack my girlfriend by calling her a pick-me but it didn't matter anymore and I hung up and blocked her. all of them from my girlfriend's phone once again. Now that we're finally done with this crap, my girlfriend and I are back to planning for our vacation and were making it bigger and better than whatever I had planned earlier. I think we've earned it. I hope you enjoy this story. Before the video starts, a quick note, you will listen to two narratives in this video, and both come with fresh information. Let's dive into the initial tale.

I extended an invitation to my troublesome cousin to stay with me, and as a result, I had to cancel family gatherings. Me, M.30, and wife, F-27, own a sizable farm that is usually the nexus of family events, five bedrooms, three bathrooms, 300 acres and electrical hookups for four campers so the whole clan can come stay for extended visits in the summer. We built it that way deliberately. My cousin Bill, M. Early 50s, has a daughter Alice, F-18, from his first marriage. His first wife was an immigrant with no family in our country and no contact with any family in her home country. She passed away when Alice was two and Bill remarried Tanya, F-Early 50s, six months later. They have since had three kids, M-14, M-12, F-8 Alice is a brat.

Everything in their house revolves around either the boys. boys, their two oldest together, or their princess, their daughter together, and Alice is left behind, she doesn't get to go on family trips, they wouldn't pay for extracurricular stuff, she couldn't take elective classes that had extra fees, etc. I'm not a smart man but I can recognize a kid that's hurting inside and being neglected, she's like Mr. Hyde with M and Drive, Jekyll elsewhere. For the last four summers she's been coming to work on my farm because her parents don't want her around over summer break, she turned 18 recently and leading up to her birthday her dad was very

adamant that she was being kicked out of the house when she turned 18 because it will teach her responsibility. We, wife, Alice and I discussed it and early on her birthday we pulled up with my truck and packed her stuff up, we only packed things she purchased herself or things that were given to her by another person. My boss got creative with our benefits provider so we can get Alice on my medical benefits until she finishes university. She's She starts in a few weeks, so she's able to go to, therapy, he reads this subreddit a lot so even though this is a throwaway, I know you'll read this chief, thank you. And she's able to get back into sports while still saving her money.

This is where it all comes apart. Bill and Tanya are pissed that we took her in and refused to come to family events, part of the family refused to attend as well because I'm undermining Bill and Tanya, I'll understand when I have kids, after they refused to attend events. A few others said that with gas being so expensive and not everyone attending they'd skip as well. My answer of oky-dokey come if you want and don't if you don't further upset people who thought I should have tried harder to get people to come so now we're down to about one quarter of the family in attendance for events. My aunt suggested that we have Alice over on weekends and that she stays in a dorm during the week to smooth things over. I think that's dumb, but I'm dumb and stubborn, my wife thinks it's dumb and she's really smart but also very much attached to the same.

situation, Alice said she'd rather stay with us but would try the dorms to help make peace. Am I the jerk for not going with the dorm suggestion to keep the peace? Edit for info, I called Alice a brat and my original post was way past the character limit but in some of the stuff that got pared down I explained it more, typical teenage acting out but cranked up, slamming doors, screaming matches with her stepmom, swearing. Probably three or four big blowouts a week and sometimes over some pretty disproportionate. I've watched her grow and the acting out definitely came after the exclusion from family stuff. Edit 2. Thank you everyone. Gonna keep on keeping on, bit of a mini update.

I ripped the band-aid off with the old fam jam and told them that fewer mouths to feed isn't the punishment they thought it was. Anyone else who was coming is still welcome and I'd have the extra cash from not feeding so many people to help the folks. Concerned about gas prices make it out if they so chose, I'm in like, for different family group chats and they're all lighting up, I'm going to turn my phone on silent for a while and let the sparks fly. I'll check in on the post in a while and if anything noteworthy comes up and it's interesting I'll give you all an update in the future. Edit 3. Alrighty, here's the update on the situation and a little background info for

some consistent topics in the comments. So, my family likes to gossip and they're damn efficient at it. If your truck breaks down with only you in it five miles from home word has reached every aunt and cousin before you're in your door. When I put the word out, it traveled fast. This morning I've been called all the names in the book and some new ones so there may be a revised and updated edition of said book coming out. I've been told I'm a good guy, a bad guy, I'm stupid, I'm smart, I'm short-sighted, I'm

thinking ahead, it's been neat. Long story short, I've got about a dozen. and relatives telling me, thanks and they'll buy me a pint next time they're out and about triple that who never want to speak to me again so those are both significant victories. Now, nobody here really cares about me. We're all about Team Alice here. She's a reditor apparently and came across the post independently of me showing her. There were tears, born of stress and relief, I think, and she's going to be staying here with us until she's ready to start the next chapter of her life, whatever and whenever that might be.

She's got classes picked, her college picks first-year classes for you for the most part so it was a couple electives, and is looking into the women's rec league for a hockey team when the season starts so she's all set on that front. Regarding feeding everyone and paying for gas, without going into details, I was very fortunate as a young man to be working very, very hard at a job I was woefully underqualified for while a very wealthy person was on site, basically right place, right time, and the chief took me in and mentored me. We have made a lot of money on a business venture together in addition to me working for him and since then I haven't exactly had a few money but enough that I was able to buy the property I live on outright and build my home here with my wife who also makes good money. Family is important to both of us and neither of our sides of the family tree have much for money so we've done our best to make sure money isn't a barrier to getting together and seeing one another. Now, the big news, Tanya drove down to my house this morning. Bill and I had some very loud, very angry words when he drove down last night after I chose the nuclear option in the family group chat so she actually waved a white flag from her car when she pulled up, I shooed the dogs and alpaca away and went out to talk to her,

brought her out a muffin we had a bit of a chat, allegedly. Bill was threatening to kick Alice out to scare her straight and that they weren't actually going to kick her out and they were caught off guard when we showed up on the morning of her birthday. I told her that she was missing the point and that I'm not sure I could use small enough words or short enough sentences to explain it to her if she thought that was the only problem, she cried, she peeled out of my driveway at Mach 7 and it's been radio silence since which I'm currently enjoying. Thanks everyone for the support. I'm not really a Reddit guy so I don't imagine I'll be back but for my brief stay here, you definitely don't live up to the negative

reputation the rest of the internet has given your site, you're a good bunch, keep your sticks on the More info, in our conversations about the dorm, I told her that it was 100% her decision but that I really didn't care about cousins I only see when I'm feeding them show up and that I wanted her to make the call that made her happy. Consensus between her and my wife seems to be that maybe in a few years the dorm would be a good step between living at home and getting her own place but staying with us for now is what she wants. At this point it's pure speculation but I've always sort of picked up that Bill is of the

opinion that Tanya and their kids together are his family and she's this sort of Harry Potter-esque relation he stuck with. At first I thought it was a race thing. Her mom was from Guatemala and she has dark skin and pinned straight dark hair rather than being pale curly hair like the rest of us. But as she aged, if you compare photos of her mom to her at the same ages, they could have been twins. I think it's a lot of jealousy from Tanya and Bill is just a dirtbag so I have no idea how his brain works. What I meant is that Alice acts out pretty severe. and is like a completely different kid with her folks than anywhere else, if you ask her teachers, coaches, other relatives who have her over will all tell you she's a great kid, smart and

compassionate, you see her at home with her parents and it's a different story. I 100% recognize that she's acting out so badly because the only time she gets any attention at home is when she's being punished but I cut the part explaining that out because I'm not such good with the wordsmithing sometimes. Alice doesn't cause harm from anything I've ever seen or been told, she stomps off and slams her bedroom door, gets into shouting matches with her stepmom and swears a lot. Her dad and I have locked horns over this a few times. I was still a young gun myself when her mom passed so I haven't always been in a position

to do anything more than lock horns but I've at least been here. Not to excuse the extended family but I think a fair few of them would be more sympathetic if they lived closer and didn't just get his spin on it over Facebook and saw what the branch of the family tree that lives here sees. They're not a big league of evil ants and uncles, they're just kind of ignorant, and have been fed a very creative interpretation of the truth by Bill and Tanya for over a decade with no evidence of there being more to it. Plus my dislike for Bill and Tanya is quite well known in our family which also colors their perception of the situation a bit I'd wager. That does sound ominous when it's put

like that but as far as I know there's nothing untoward there. Alice's mom was hit by a random drunk driver and Bill's just a schmuck. Without putting the family dirty laundry out there, my understanding is that their marriage was born out of convenience and not necessarily love. That's its own story that doesn't really belong on Reddit. Update, am I the jerk for taking in my problem cousin and canceling family events? So, about a year ago my, 31M, cousin, cousin Alice, F-19, moved in with my wife, F-28, on her 18th birthday after being told she needed to move out on said birthday from her parents, early-slash-mid-50s it can up to do the math, house by said parents.

I'm here with an update at her suggestion. The good. A year later she's a year into an engineering degree, she's been playing lots of hockey, raised a couple of steers all on her own and at her therapist's recommendation she's down to monthly sessions after a brief stop at Biodont. bi-weekly after starting with weekly. She's the same sweet kid but without the extra unneeded stress of being treated like and also ran alongside her younger siblings. The bad. Her dad showed up about a month after my original post and there was a confrontation

of sorts that ended with a peace bond being issued with restrictions on how Bill and Tanya could contact Alice, myself, my missus or a couple other family members that got involved, after the six months required by the peace bond. Tanya started getting back up to her old tricks, but Bill seems to have smartened up a bit. The peace bond meant she is at limited contact with her siblings which has been tough, the oldest, 15M, started out pretty hostile but some of the other cousins filled him in on what was going on, I got blamed for his sudden shift in attitude. Because we've established that I am just the worst with jazz hands and everything this silly.

Gossipy family mellowed out when they realized that the literal gravy train wasn't going to to stop at the station for them. Thanksgiving last year was 26 people compared to the 60-plus that came the last year I threw it prior to COVID restrictions. Easter this year was back up to an even 40, so we're probably going to plateau a little short of the old numbers. As for resolution to the problem, Bill has been texting Alice every couple of days to check in. They've gone for coffee a few times after the peace bond expired.

I'd go to his funeral but not his birthday party where Alice's work. when I asked her about where they're at. I'm hoping time can heal that wound but she's been really good at setting boundaries. To quote one of the great warrior poets of our time, John Cougar Mellencamp, life goes on. I'll answer questions if it's allowed, otherwise, here's some closure guys. Now on to the next story, story two. Boyfriend is hiding a secret on why he won't attend my family holidays. So, my family is kind of, lovably, weird in that they plan family trips well ahead of time to ensure a good deal on a rental house. I am taking seven-eight months.

When we booked this year's vacation, I let Sam know the dates. I told him it would be the last week of July. I didn't expect him to remember it forever then, but thought I would give him the idea so we could both keep it in mind. I mention it casually, maybe once a month as a reminder. Like as in Oh my dad wants to go on this hike and several times. he would say, oh yeah, what are those dates again? And I would tell him, he even told my parents that he would go for the weekend of the week-long trip, they love him, and they were so excited. He said that he would be able to come up for the first part of the trip, for a weekend.

I was completely fine with that. While I love my family, I recognize Osso may not want to spend a week with someone else's family. I should add, I didn't expect him to use any PTO, he was toying with using one day, which I was thrilled by, the trip would be paid for by my family, house, food, alcohol, etc. It is a three-hour drive away, in a place he loves. I should add that last year, when my family was going to go to the beach for a week, I mentioned the trip a few times and he got annoyed. So I felt weird about it and stopped asking.

I don't mean I was being obnoxious, I probably mentioned it once a month or so, because he got annoyed, I stopped mentioning it a month or two before the trip. About two, three weeks before the beach trip, I asked him what his plans were, he said he had spaced and completely forgotten, and that he would be on call, it's non-medical, it's people calling out of shifts so he has to be in town even though it requires no action, that week and couldn't go. I was so disappointed, I really wanted to spend time at the beach with him, and was only asking for a weekend.

I talked to him about it a couple of times, and I asked if he was nervous to spend time with my family, or didn't like something about them. He assured me that that was not the case, we got into a fight, and he said that he felt like he was a kid that missed an assignment and I was a teacher. It was really our first argument. This was almost one year into the relationship. He has hung out with my family maybe once a month, or every two months for a couple of hours, we tend to do a meal and talk for a couple hours then go see his folks and do the same thing. His family doesn't take a yearly week-long trip, so I understand if it feels strange to him, but I don't see him not wanting to spend two nights as a big huge ask.

The kicker is that earlier this year, he complained that I had too many trips, I occasionally do girls' trips with my friends, and have tried to plan an occasional trip for him and I that I think he and I would like, he loves camping, so a camping trip within a reasonable distance in a city we both want to see, for example. When he said this I said, I will make an effort to cut back on trips, but I don't want you to feel like you have to come on all of the trips, I want you to feel comfortable, the only trip I care about you coming on this year is spending a weekend with me and my family in the mountains, maybe he forgot I said this, but this really sticks out to me.

Essentially I gave him a ton of notice, said it was really important to me, he told my parents, and my sweet grandma that loves him, that he would come for the weekend. Then last week, less than three weeks before the trip, I asked him what his schedule is like for July, he lets me know that unfortunately he is going to be on call that entire week and can't make it, he can, however, make it to the other trip going on that month to go party at a friend's place, plans that were made several weeks ago. I was so disappointed, he told his work that the only week he couldn't be on call was the party house weekend, He didn't even attempt to ask me when my family trip was.

I asked him why he didn't and he said, well, we did schedules at 4 p.m. That's kind of a weird time to text you. It's not. He offered to come up Thursday night which is the last night of the trip, so he would arrive Thursday night, and we would leave Friday morning after cleaning the house that morning. That does, not sound like fun to me. I said no worries on coming up for the last night.

Honestly, I don't even want him to come at this point. He didn't offer any other alternative, so I can absolutely tell he isn't interested in coming. We were supposed to move in together but this plus a bunch of other stuff. I sat him down a couple days ago and I said I can't move in. There are just too many concerns. He was upset but said he understood. The other concerns on my end include, him not being super verbal,

him not wanting to talk on the phone, or text much. This has gotten slowly painfully better him not being incredibly motivated to switch jobs. He's been miserable for years and I have helped him edit his resume. sent links, tried not saying anything, tried being supportive. I have tried everything, I know it is up to him, different drives as being much lower, different ideas of how often to go out, I like an occasional brewery and he would prefer to stay at home and watch Netflix, different ideas of diet, he doesn't really like fruits or veggies and eats out a ton, getting a little better. But I eat fairly healthily and I exercise 3-4x a week. Honestly sometimes I wonder,

Is he even that into me? Then he will come over and be all cuddly and sweet and excited to see me. I have never experienced something this confusing before, the verbal stuff and texting and eating were getting better. So I naively thought he would come on this trip this time. He is sweet and kind and funny and very affectionate and loving and caring, but I think I have hit my limit, am I being unreasonable here about the vacation? Is it ridiculous to expect A-So to come on part of a family trip two years in?

Update, me, 27F, with my boyfriend, 29M, of two years, he keeps promising to go on family trips with me, then backs out at the last minute, he won't give any reason why. Well, it's been three weeks and a lot has happened, first of all, thank you to everyone that took the time to read and respond, I sat him down the day after making that post, and I broke up with him, he was devastated, didn't see it coming at all, even though I had said we should wait to live together, and we'd had a discussion about me being unhappy. I didn't cry, I wasn't even that upset, I think tells me that I was getting over the relationship slowly, and had known for a while that it wasn't meant to be, I mentioned the trip

situation, as well as the different sex drives, and some other reasons, he asked if there was anything he could say or do and I said no, I was very nice to him. But very firm that it was over between us, I left that evening and we met up a week later to talk at his request. We have some friend overlap, so I thought it might be best. He told me he never thought I would leave, it never even crossed his mind that I would ever be frustrated enough to go, he said that several times, that he always thought there was always tomorrow to make things better, that was odd to me, I mean, we'd had like five to six conversations over the two years with me saying, hey.

I am not feeling loved and I am not feeling fulfilled here, here is where it gets bizarre, he told me that the reason he hadn't wanted to hang two nights in a row and just did his own thing, and never wanted to grocery shop together or go do things was that he was preparing for moving in together, for a full year. By getting in as much bachelor time as he could, I asked if this was a conscious decision and he said yes, that just blows my mind, I asked him if he thought making the relationship weaker made sense for me to want to move in with him, he said, well, when you put it like that, no, I'm baffled. I don't know whether to believe there. explanation or not, but it really doesn't matter, it just affirmed I made the right decision,

something I have not doubted for a second, of course now he's all chatty Kathy and trying to show me he cares but I told him we need to not talk anymore, there is literally nothing he could do that could change my mind. I told him that an effort after a breakup feels hollow to me, that I don't want a foundation like that for my relationship, that actions taken after a breakup are typically just to reduce pain, they aren't real change, that if he had wanted to hang more with me, or initiate sex with me, etc. He would have especially after many conversations, oh, and the low-sex drive thing,

turns out he is addicted to pornography, he was lying about it the entire time, I never knew because we didn't spend enough time together for me to understand, and I, of course, never checked his stuff so I had no clue, usually I am intuitive. But I trusted him when he would turn me down after I was gone on a seven-day trip

that it wasn't because he had done things a bunch, the fact that he was lying about it and chose to do it oversee me, it's so disappointing, but I know I can do a lot better, he told me he would think about me and want me. But it was just easier to do things himself rather than call me up, I told him numerous times I would love to spontaneously come over, it's a 15-minute drive, and he never once took me up on that, I am not going to let it make me feel badly about myself, though. I know there have been people in the past that really enjoyed sex with me

and there will be someone in the future, I am over it, he told me that it wouldn't be an issue if we got back together, that is insulting because either he just wasn't interested in sex with me, but suddenly as if it means we can get back together. Or he was just lazy about it or something, I don't know which is worse, he said he feels like he made the biggest mistake of his life, I knew he didn't have a lot of relationship experience, but damn, 29 seems like a tough age to learn this particular life lesson, to value what you have and not take it for granted. Peace I am on the trip now with my family,

and having an absolute blast, not one ounce of me has missed him or wished you were here. I hope you enjoy this story. Just a kind prompt before the clip commences, you will listen to two anecdotes in this video and both contain recent developments. Moving on to the initial narrative. My closest companion is dating my brother.

I am worried it will end badly. I recently found myself in a bit of a predicament and need an outsider's perspective. My brother has started dating my best friend, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. At first, I was excited for them. My brother has not really had many girlfriends, and my friend has been crushing on him for a while now. I thought it was sweet that they were finally giving it a shot, but as time went on, I began to have concerns. I started to notice little things that bothered me. My brother seemed more distant for me than usual.

He was spending all his free time with my friend, and I was worried that he was neglecting his family and friends. He seemed to be totally besotted with my best friend and would do anything for her. My friend, who was far more experienced than my brother, seemed to enjoy parading him around like a little puppy and getting him to do whatever she wanted. It's fair to say that she was more preoccupied with my brother than anything else, and I felt like I was losing both of them. I tried to talk to my brother about it, but he brushed me off. He said that he was happy and that I should be happy for him, too.

But I couldn't shake the feeling that this relationship was going to end badly. I decided to talk to my friend about it instead. I expressed my concerns and asked if she had thought about the possible consequences of dating my brother. She seemed taken aback at first, but then she told me that she had thought about it and that she was willing to take the risk. I didn't know what to do. On the one hand, I wanted my brother and my friend to be happy. On the other hand, I didn't want to see them hurt each other, or worse, hurt themselves. Update 1, Hey Everyone, it's been a few months since I posted about my brother dating my best friend, so I wanted to give you all an update.

In the end, I decided to step back and let them figure it out for themselves. It's not my place to control their lives, and they're both adults who can make their own decisions. I just hope that they know what they're getting themselves into and that they can handle the consequences, whatever they may be. Update 2, I've come to accept the situation and let them get on with things. I've realized that it's not my place to control their relationship or interfere, so I've tried my best to support them and not. let it bother me too much. Of course, there are still some awkward moments here and there, but overall things seem to be going well for them. Thanks to everyone who offered their advice and support when I was struggling with this situation it means a lot to me. Unfortunately,

things have taken a turn for the worse. Last night, I went to a party without my brother, and my best friend was there. Things were going fine until my friend started flirting with another guy at the party. I had to watch them all night, and it made me feel sick. I tried to talk to my friend about it, but she just brushed it off and told me to chill out. Later in the night, I saw my friend and this guy disappear into an empty bedroom, and I'm pretty sure they slept together, even if they didn't have sex. It's still incredibly inappropriate given that she's dating my brother. I'm really upset and don't know what to do next. Any advice would be appreciated. No, I haven't asked my friend directly if she slept with the guy at the party.

I feel like it's not really my place to ask, and I don't want to come across as accusatory or confrontational. At the same time, though, I can't shake the feeling that something happened between them. It's possible that I'm overreacting, but it just seemed really inappropriate given the circumstances. I'm not sure what to do next. Update 3, Hey There, I wanted to provide an update on the situation. I did try to talk to my brother about what happened at the party, but it seems that my best friend got to him first. My brother thinks that I'm just jealous and trying to break them up. My best friend must have told him a completely different story about what happened that night.

She made out that I was really what happened at the party, but it seems that my best friend got to him first. My brother thinks that I'm just jealous and trying to break them up. My best friend must have told him a completely different story about what happened that night. She made out that I was really drunk and had wrongly accused her of sleeping with the guy at the party. She also said that the drunk and had wrongly accused her of sleeping with the guy at the party. She also said that the guy and her tried to help me by stopping me from driving home while under the influence. This is simply not true. I hadn't been drinking that evening.

As I was the designated driver, I did try to leave the party because I was upset. But my best friend stopped me because she thought I was overreacting. It's really frustrating that my best friend is twisting the truth to make me look bad and that my brother is taking her side. I don't know how to make him see what's really going on. Update 4 Hey guys, it's been a while since I updated you on what's been happening with my brother and my former best friend. Well, as you predicted, their relationship eventually fizzled out. My best friend got bored of my brother and kept making excuses not to see him until he got fed up chasing. It's been really tough for my brother, he's been drinking more and seems really down.

I just hope he will eventually get over it and move on. I'm still angry with my best friend for treating my brother this way and damaging the relationship between us. We're not as close as we once were, and I'm not sure if we're. will ever be as close again. We still hang out in the same social circles. But it's not the same. I feel really betrayed and disrespected by her. Anyway, I just wanted to update you guys and say,

thanks for all the support and advice you've given me throughout this whole mess. It's been really tough, but I'm getting through it. Update 5, hey, everyone. It's been a year since my last update and things have gotten really crazy. As it turns out, my best friend was actually pregnant and didn't tell anyone until she was eight months along.

My brother knew, but he was too scared to tell our family and asked me to break the news to them. It was a shock, but our parents said they would support him and be there for him and my brother and his girlfriend got back together and even got engaged, but things took a turn for the worse after the baby was born. The girlfriend started making excuses for why my brother couldn't see the baby and would constantly put him down, saying he would be a bad father. It got to the point where my brother just gave up trying to see the baby, even though he continued to pay child support. Whenever someone suggested that he tried to see the baby, he would just say that the baby was better off

without him. It's been really hard to watch him go through this. I still visit my friend and the baby, but it's becoming harder and harder to listen to her complain about my brother and how he's not good enough. I'm at the point where I feel like I have to choose between my friend and my brother. If I choose my brother, I'll most likely lose a lot of our mutual friends and lose contact with the baby. I don't know what to do and I could use some advice. Update 6, I just wanted to give an update on my situation. After a lot of thought and consideration, I've decided to go no contact with my former best friend. While it's been a difficult decision, I know it's the right one for my mental health and for my

relationship with my brother. I'll miss my niece growing up, but I just can't continue to subject myself to the emotional abuse and manipulation from my former friend. Some of my other friends have been understanding, but others have taken her side and believe the lies she's been spreading about my brother. It's been a tough road, but I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm actually moving to a new town soon and I'm excited to make new friends and start. fresh. Thanks to everyone for their support and advice throughout this journey. I decided to invite

my friend out for a few drinks to tell her my decision and my reasons behind it. I didn't want to just ghost her without ever explaining. Well, my best friend did not take the news well and lashed out at me, accusing me of choosing my brother over her and my niece. Since then, she began spreading rumors and lies about me to our mutual friends, causing further tension in the group. She told them that I was trying to help my brother take her baby away from her and had accused her of being an unfit mother. Unfortunately, several of my friends have bought into this and are now no longer speaking to me, despite this. I have stuck to my decision and am trying hard to focus on my own well-being and that of my family. I hope that in time, the truth will come out and my

former friends will realize that I was caught up in an impossible situation and had no choice but to break contact. Thanks to everyone here on Reddit, I can see now that my friendship with this girl was utterly toxic and quite possibly always was. I know I am better off without her. I feel very sad that I will not get to see my niece grow up and that my brother will miss too. But for both our sakes, to protect our mental health, this is the only way. Some people have suggested that I could try to reconnect with my niece in the future. While this is what my heart wants, something tells me that I need to prioritize my own well-being and move on from the situation entirely.

Thank you to everyone for your input. I feel that I have made the best decision for me and my family and I am looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life. Now on to the next story, Story 2. I threw cheating fiancé out of the house with her AP, when got home early and caught them. Hello everyone, I'm currently in a difficult situation, and I'm unsure if I'm making the right decisions. By the way, this is my first post here, so please forgive me if I miss any details. Feel free to ask for more information. Let me share my current situation. I'm a 25-year-old male,

and I've been in a relationship with my wife, who is 27 years old, for 8.5 years. Last August, during our trip to USA, I proposed to her, we legally got married 10 weeks ago, had a church ceremony five weeks ago, and went on our honeymoon two weeks after that. During our honeymoon, I noticed something unusual for the first time. She was constantly texting on her phone and tried to hide it or turn off the display whenever I glanced at it to see who she was talking to. When I asked, she claimed she was texting her friends or her sister. This made me suspicious, and in the beginning of the second week,

I decided to check her phone while she was asleep. It was the first time I had ever felt the need to do this because I had always trusted her. To my shock, I discovered that the woman I believed loved me, the one I had married just a month prior, was cheating on me with someone else, a 39-year-old man. He works as a cook where she is employed, so they see each other daily during the week. We still had to stay together for the rest of the week in our flight home during our honeymoon, so I didn't confront her about it at that time because I didn't want to have a fight while on our honeymoon. I have no idea how I managed to hold it in.

After further investigation when we returned home, I found out that their relationship had begun at the end of November last year, which was after our engagement but well before our wedding. I don't understand why she didn't mention this to me earlier when we had plenty of time to cancel our wedding. Somehow, I didn't catch on until it was too late. I haven't talked to my wife about this yet, so she doesn't know that I'm aware of her affair. However, I think she might suspect that I'm suspicious of something. We still have tasks left like selecting our wedding photos for the album and writing thank-you letters for the gifts we received, which is why I haven't brought up this issue until now, but I'm feeling really tormented inside, and I need to address this situation.

I'm currently looking into whether I can legally remove her from our house. We rented it together, and both our names are on the contract, and whether our wedding can be an old or if I need to go through a divorce process. Here's an important detail. The other guy is separated from his wife and has two teenage children. He's not getting a divorce right now because they have some outstanding loans to repay. Additionally, they frequently express their love for each other and a desire to be. be together fully, but they can't do so at the moment. From what I know, their plan involves

my wife having children with me, since the other guy already has some, and then, when he's ready, either divorced or otherwise, they will pursue a relationship together. My dilemma is that I feel guilty for contemplating divorce less than two months after our wedding, especially after the big celebration and all the gifts we received. However, I can't continue living like this. I'm not sure what I'm expecting from you all, maybe just confirmation that I'm making the right choice by leaving her and seeking a divorce. Small update. I'm planning to speak with our office lawyer today to see if they have any information on this matter. If they don't, I'll contact a specific lawyer to get some advice on how to proceed. Regarding our financial situation, neither of us is wealthy, we're both doing okay.

If she worked full-time like I do, she currently works 75% due to her employer's reception. She's she would actually earn more than me, my parents, on the other hand, are reasonably well off, but not excessively so. I guess you could say their upper middle class. However, everything I own before our marriage remains mine, and everything she owned before our marriage remains hers. Anything acquired or purchased after our marriage will be divided. She also won't inherit anything from my parents because it's my right to receive it. And this was the case before we got married. Update 1, I've discussed the matter with the lawyer in our office who doesn't have much knowledge about it. They provided me with contact information for someone who should be able

to assist me. I'm planning to call them today or tomorrow and arrange a meeting as soon as possible. I'll keep you all updated on how things progress. Thanks to everyone for your support in the meantime. Update 2, I've spoken with the lawyer, and she needs to research whether having another relationship is sufficient grounds for annulling the marriage. In all her years of handling divorces, it's the first time someone has contacted her so soon after getting married, and she expressed her sympathy for my situation. However, she's looking into it and will inform me of the available options in a few days. I'll keep you posted once she gets back to me. Update 3. I have up to six months from the marriage to initiate an annulment. So, I have some time to talk to the priest and explore

the possibility of annulling the wedding in the church. I plan to focus on my upcoming school exams over the next two weeks and then discuss this matter with my wife calmly. The challenge is figuring out how to start this conversation with her without making it sound harsh, like, hey, I know you're cheating on me. Update 4, I've had a discussion with our priest, and it turns out he can also initiate an annulment process. However, he suggested that I first talked to my wife about it, without a immediately jumping to divorce. He wants her to decide whether she wants to stay with me or not. I'm unsure about giving her that choice because I'm not sure I can ever trust her again. The tricky part is figuring out how to begin this conversation with her.

I know there's no perfect moment, but perhaps you can provide some advice. What should I say? What should I avoid saying? The priest advised me not to focus on her faults but instead express how my feelings are hurt and how our marriage feels strained. I shouldn't bring up forgiveness but should offer my help. I should provide enough information so she understands that I'm aware of her cheating, but I shouldn't reveal too much. It's probably better to consult my lawyer first to understand the next steps

and discuss the house we're renting together. The contract has both our names and only then have the conversation with my wife. Update 5, Hello Everyone, a lot has transpired since my last post. Previously, I inquired about whether I should address the issue or proceed with divorce or annulment. I provided updates regarding my conversations with a lawyer, who informed me that I could request an annulment within six months of marriage. However, since cheating isn't explicitly mentioned in the law as grounds for annulment, she couldn't guarantee a 100% success rate for annulment. So, in the worst case scenario, I'll proceed with the divorce. I also consulted our priest, and from the church's perspective, I can request an annulment

provided I can prove that the cheating occurred before, during, and after the marriage. Fortunately, I have all the necessary evidence to establish this. When I confided in my friends, they unanimously recommended that I ask her to leave my home immediately. Consequently, after gathering all the requisite information, I confronted my wife about this matter three weeks ago. Our conversation was filled with tears, some raised voices, although I managed to remain composed, and we discussed a multitude of issues in the subsequent days.

We even spent a weekend away together to address everything privately. In summary, she doesn't have a clear reason for why she cheated on me. It just happened. She didn't bring it up earlier because she feared my reaction, thinking I might get angry, leave her alone, and go away, which raises the question of her. of what she expected to happen when I found out after we got married. She assured me that she still loves me, so I asked her to figure out what she truly wants and what she's willing to do to salvage our marriage.

Depending on her decision, I would then determine whether I wanted to give it another shot with her or not. Even though I was already about 90% inclined to leave her, after a week, I still hadn't received a clear answer from her about whether she wanted me or the other guy. So, I made the decision for both of us. If she couldn't decide between her husband and her lover within less than three months of marriage, then I could certainly decide whether I wanted to spend my life with her or not. Two weeks ago, we mutually agreed to end our relationship.

The unfortunate part is that during this whole time, she didn't ask me once to stay. She was sad about me leaving, but I think she was also happy about the prospect of pursuing a relationship with the other guy. Last week, I disclosed the entire situation to my parents and brothers. They were all saddened by the news but understood the situation and agreed that it's the best decision for me. On the same day, my wife also informed her parents, and they asked her to leave their home. She had to stay with some friends temporarily but has since rented an apartment and is in the process of moving her belongings out of my house.

In ten days, I'll be meeting with the lawyer to initiate the process for a an annulment of our marriage. I also need to give the priest an update that my wife has moved out of my house and then the church. At this point, I'm at a loss for words, my marriage didn't even last three months, and it seems my wife was almost relieved to part ways, so, I feel there's nothing more to be said. I realize that I still need some time to heal from all of this, but things are slowly improving. I'm getting accustomed to being on my own and handling all the household responsibilities. I appreciate your support. Now, I have to start over with my life, and I hope to find someone who truly loves me one day. Forward slash forward slash. I hope you enjoy this story.

Partner requested a pause due to another individual, so I departed and relocated to a different town. Presently, she is monitoring me closely, her guardians expressed regret, and she desires to reconnect. Me back, but I refused to talk to her. I, 34M, am struggling with whether I'm in the wrong for refusing to talk to my ex, Sarah, 29F, not her real name. There's a lot of history here, and I'll do my best to explain everything clearly. In mid-2020, I met Sarah at work, and we hit it off immediately. I fell for her quickly, and it didn't take long before we started dating. However, early in our relationship, Sarah broke up with me over something minor.

To make matters worse, she made a scene in front of everyone at work. I was devastated but didn't want to leave my job at first. Eventually, I realized I still had feelings for her, and seeing her every day became too painful. That's when I decided to quit and find a new job. We lived close to each other, so we bumped into each other frequently over the next few months. We started talking again, but even though I still had feelings for her, I couldn't bring myself to consider getting back together. What she had done hurt me deeply. After a couple of months, she told me she regretted breaking up with me over something so minor.

She admitted that doing it in front of everyone was wrong and that she had been thinking about it ever since. She seemed genuinely remorseful, and I could see she meant it. Feeling that her apology was sincere, I asked if she wanted to give our relationship. relationship another try. She agreed, and by early 2023, we were officially back together. One year later, things were going great. We talked about marriage and building a future together, which made me feel ready to take the next step. I decided to surprise her with a proposal and started working extra hours to save for a house, so we could marry not long after. I didn't tell her why I was working so much because I wanted it to be a complete surprise.

Then, out of nowhere, she asked for a break. I was blindsided, and when I asked why, she refused to explain. Around the same time, I noticed she had been talking nonstop about a new guy at her workplace. But suddenly, she stopped mentioning him altogether, which made me suspicious. Confused and heard, I reached out to one of my close friends, Emily, not her real name, who, along with her boyfriend, still worked at the same place as Sarah. I vented to Emily about what was going on and asked if she knew anything. She said she didn't because she worked in a different department, but she promised to ask around.

A few days later, Emily got back to me. She told me that Sarah had been feeling like I was distant lately, especially with me working extra hours and not going out much. Emily said some of Sarah's colleagues have been encouraging her to take a break, claiming I wasn't treating her well and wasn't as invested in the relationship. On top of that, they were trying to match her up with a new guy at work, saying they'd make a better pair. I told Emily about my plans to propose and buy a house for Sarah and me. That was the reason I'd been working so much, I wanted to surprise her with something big.

After about two weeks, Sarah called me and asked to meet up. I agreed but told her up front that I needed an explanation for why she wanted a break before we could discuss anything else. She brought up how distant I had seemed, saying it made her feel like I wasn't as invested in the relationship anymore. I told her that if she had just talked to me about it, she would have known there was a reason for my behavior, but now, it didn't matter anymore. Then she mentioned the new guy at her workplace. I said his name before she could, and she looked surprised, asking how I knew. I told her I wasn't an idiot, I'd noticed how she suddenly stopped talking about him after bringing him up. all the time. She swore that she had never cheated on me. I replied that looking for someone

better at the first sign of trouble could be considered cheating by some. At that point, I told her I didn't want to hear whatever else she had to say. Whether or not she wanted to get back together didn't matter, I was breaking up with her regardless. The breakup deeply hurt me. I couldn't bear staying in the same place, so I asked my company for a transfer and used the money I'd saved for the proposal to start over in a new city. While talking to Emily, the friend I had vented to before, she apologized to me. She admitted that she had slipped up and told Sarah about my plans to propose and buy a house. Emily said Sarah broke down crying after hearing that.

I appreciated Emily's honesty, but it didn't change what had happened. By mid-December last year, I returned to my hometown to spend Christmas and New Year's with my family. Some friends wanted to organize a party to get everyone together, since many of us, myself included, had moved away and were only visiting for the holidays. Sarah was invited too. We barely interacted that night, just a quick high in passing. At one point, I glanced at her and saw her smiling while chatting with a group of women. That smile brought back so many memories. I realized that seeing her smile still made me feel the same way I did the first time I saw her.

I thought to myself, how screwed up am I that I still feel this way. Despite those lingering feelings, I was still sad and deeply hurt by how things had ended. Looking back, I also started to blame myself. I should have paid more attention to how she was feeling. I could have told her about the extra work and why I was doing it. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Later that evening, one of my friends mentioned that Sarah's relationship with the guy from her work had only lasted a couple of months. After the holidays, I planned to return to the

city where I now lived. My vacation ended on January 6th, so I decided to leave on Friday. That way, I'd have Saturday to sort everything out at home and prepare for the week ahead, with Sunday to relax before going back to work. Before I left, one of my friends from back home called me. He said he had a favor to ask on behalf of someone else and warned me that I wouldn't like it. I could already feel my stomach sinking. Then he told me it was Sarah. She was moving to the same city where I lived to work at her relatives company, and she needed a ride. He asked if I could take her. I didn't even think about it before I said no. The idea of being stuck in a car with her for hours was too much to bear. It would have been painfully awkward, just like the party, and I wasn't ready to put

myself through that. He told me that Sarah and I needed to talk, but I wasn't having any of it. I went back home, and last week, I went for a run and stopped to rest a little in a park when I heard a familiar voice say, hi. It was Sarah. She tried to start a conversation by asking how I was and mentioning that we didn't get a chance to talk at the party, but I cut her off, saying I didn't want to talk to her. She told me not to be like that, that we needed to have a conversation, but I said no. She asked how I could still resent her after almost a year and after everything we've been through, but I told her it wasn't resentment. I was very honest. I told her that thinking about her, talking about her, or even seeing her still hurts a lot, and that's why I

couldn't talk to her. She said that was exactly why we needed to talk. I didn't see the point. I just walked away. Since then, Sarah's tried to approach me twice more, and I've shut her down both times. Some of my friends think I'm being too harsh and that I should talk to her for closure. Others say it's not okay to torture her over what happened forever. But that's not what this is about. I don't have any resentment or negative feelings toward her anymore. I even recognize now that I share some of the blame.

But it still hurts. I can't talk to her because it's like reopening an old wound that never fully healed. So, Ada for refusing to talk to her. Additional information from OOP after reading comments. OOP, thank you all for your advices. I just want to explain better one thing. My friends are not calling me or messaging me saying that I should talk to her. That's just the opinion of some of them when the subject was brought up.

Update 1, February 2, 2025. Hey everyone, I wanted to give an update and thank you all for you all for. your input. I took the time to read through every comment, and while I didn't respond to all of them, it was only because I didn't have anything to add. I'm truly grateful for everyone who shared their thoughts. It has been incredibly helpful. After reading everything and thinking it through, I decided to stick to my decision not to talk to Sarah. Something I forgot to mention in my original post, though I did tell a few commenters, is that I blocked her everywhere after we broke up the second time. Over the last few days, it seems like her persistence has started to backfire.

Some of our mutual friends, including the ones who initially told me I should talk to her, have become frustrated with her constant attempts to contact me. Apparently, they've started turning on her because of it. Three days ago, Emily, the friend I vented to back then, made a post on social media about stalkers. She didn't name Sarah, but a lot of people picked up on what she meant. I've also seen several comments on my original post suggesting that Sarah might have been stalking me. Her job in the same city and her coincidental appearance at the park all line up with that theory. For what it's worth, I know her uncle owns a company here, so maybe that is really why she moved. But honestly, it's not my problem, and I'm not going to

look into it. Things have been quieter. Friends have dropped the subject, and Sarah hasn't tried to reach out again. That is, until yesterday. I watched the UFC event with some co-workers. When it ended, I was heading to my car when my phone rang. It was one of our mutual friends' calling. She said she had been talking to Sarah and asked if she could pass along a message. I sighed but told her to make it quick. The message was simple, Sarah said she understands why I don't want to talk to her. She promised she wouldn't try to reach out again, but added that she still thinks we need to talk. She said the door is open if I ever want to. I told my friend I didn't have a message to pass back and asked her not to bring up Sarah again in our conversations.

If what Sarah said is true, it's a relief, but I'm not holding my breath. I wouldn't be surprised if she tries something else. Maybe she thinks giving me space will make me go to her, but it won't. That chapter of my life is closed. Right now, I just want to focus on myself. I probably won't be dating anyone anytime soon. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that I need to get to know people better before jumping into a relationship. I've also been thinking about how loosely I use the word friend. That is another part of my life I need to rethink.

Some of the people I have called friends have proven they don't have my best interests at heart. A few people suggested therapy in the comments, and I'll admit, it is something I've been considering. For now, I'm giving myself time to heal on my own, but if I still don't feel right after a while, I will look into it. Thanks again to everyone who took the time to comment. Your advice has been a huge help in sorting all this out. Update February 2, 16, 2025. There's been no sign of Sarah these past few weeks, and now No one's brought her up in conversation either. That's a good thing. Then, last Tuesday, February 11th, I got a DM from Sarah's mother.

She said she wanted to apologize for her daughter's behavior and asked me to call her. I've always had a great relationship with Sarah's parents. They're genuinely good people. Even during both breakups, they were always respectful and never overstepped. I didn't really want to talk about Sarah anymore, but I also didn't. didn't want to ignore her mother. After thinking it over for a few minutes, I decided I'd call her. However, if she tried to convince me to speak with Sarah or anything along those lines, I'd politely end the conversation. When she answered, she put me on speaker so Sarah's father

could join in. I half expected to hear Sarah's voice too, but fortunately that didn't happen. The conversation itself was actually really good. They started by apologizing. for Sarah's recent behavior. I immediately told them they had nothing to apologize for, but they insisted, saying they felt it was the right thing to do. They also told me they had no idea what had been going on until recently. Once they found out, they called Sarah and had a long talk with her. Her father admitted that it was the kind of conversation he'd expect to have with a teenager, not an almost 30-year-old woman. Sarah promised them she'd stay away from me in seek therapy. I felt relieved, not just for myself, but for her too.

Everything that happened between us wasn't great, but I genuinely wish her the best. I hope she finds happiness. Before we ended the call, I thanked her parents and reiterated how much I respected and admired them. Now, I can finally say with certainty that this is over. Sarah would never betray her parents' trust. Thank you all for the advice. It really meant a lot. Next story, wife said she hated her XFWB but decided to reconnect with him, started

spending hours with him, then she got mad when I threatened to leave. To set the scene, my wife, 41F, and I, 40M, have been together for 15 years and have a child together, 5F. Before we met, she was friends with KC, 44M, whom she also had occasional sex. She cheated with him on her last boyfriend before the relationship was over, something she mentioned once and forgotten since that she mentioned it to me. The reason she ended their friendship was because the last time they had sex, he didn't pull out and she had to take plan B.

She was mad at him for that, and decided to cut him out of her life. That was fairly recently before we met, and when she and I started dating, she was still in the process of clarifying to him that she didn't want anything to do with him anymore. to now, she recently reconnected with him via another friend, and they have been spending an unusual amount of time together. Her friend pulled her into some sort of crypto thing, and is currently teaching her and a couple of other friends everything about crypto investments. She wants to learn everything about crypto investing and is attending his boot camps, but in addition to that, she also hangs out with him taking walks and just being on the phone with him.

I made it clear pretty early that I find it a bit weird that going form I don't want to see him anymore and after 15 years suddenly spending so much time with him. Zero, 100 right quick. She doesn't hide him though. She tells me when she hangs out with him or sees him, and has so far been open about their interactions. He has three kids and is married. It came to a head today when she announced she was going to go out with him again, after last weekend where she said she'd be going to be gone. going for a walk with him at night for an hour and ended up spending at least four hours with him taking a walk and losing track of time. I told her in no unclear terms that she is a grown woman but that the intensity of their contact is worrying and making me uncomfortable.

And that if I felt that this relationship became appropriate, I would end things with her at the drop of a hat. She knows I have been cheated on in the past, and that I have a zero tolerance policy towards cheating and I despise it, and have never done it myself. She's upset now and currently outside in front of our house door talking on the phone. I assume she's talking to him. Meanwhile, I'm looking after our daughter and her friend. Update 1, not sure how I'm allowed to participate in this conversation, such arbitrary rules on this sub, but we just had another argument before she walked out to meet with him. She put our daughter to bed and before she left the house, she wanted to talk. defended him and their friendship and asked why I didn't have a problem with her other exes,

I've met two of them and they're both stand-up guys, and she does hang out with them occasionally, but I'm not worried about them. I told her this is different, that context matters, and that I really don't understand why she thinks it's appropriate or even acceptable to meet with a former FWB and spend so much time with them. I brought up that she cheated with him, to which she corrected me that it was someone else who she cheated with on her last boyfriend, some guy with a similar name, whatever, and that they only had sex in between relationships. And then she stated that they talked it out what happened between them with the unprotected sex, but that I wasn't willing

to hear it, because I told her I don't want to hear anything about the guy as I don't like him. To this I got pretty angry, asking her if she is really discussing past sexual encounters. She said, yeah, it had to be talked out. We went in a few few years. We went in a few circles after, but basically it was the same stuff, I don't think it's appropriate, I am not comfortable with the intensity of their friendship, and at the moment I feel she's not being truthful I am walking out. Also reiterated my point that she's a grown-ass woman, and can do what she wants, but she isn't free of the consequences of her actions. In the end, she stood there with tears in her eyes and a look of contempt I've seen before when she's about to lose her shit,

but kept her cool and said she's going off to see him. Tried to kill him. Tried to kill him. He stood me goodbye and I told her no. She then walked towards the door ranting about me being unreasonable, and I told her again that she's a grown-ass woman and that she can do as she pleases but that she needs to be ready for the consequences of her actions. Slanned the door shut and drove off. I guess we'll see what happens when she comes back. Update 2, January 17th, 2025. Still get DMs here and there so I thought I'd give everyone some closure on this. Nothing too exciting. So after she ran off to meet him at some bar, she came home around midnight.

I was still up as I was watching something on TV, looked over at her, and she looked unsure. She sat down at the end of the couch where I was sitting and said she's sorry she got so angry. She met with him and they talked about the situation. Apparently, he told her that I am right and that it is weird they're spending so much time with each other. and she called a few friends to talk and get their opinion. They mirrored the same sentiments. That it's hard not to think of this as having at least an emotional affair. To be honest, I was still beyond pissed.

And to hear that she only came to realize it when other people told her it was inappropriate, not just me, wasn't helping. She explained that she is learning something from him that is giving her a new lease on life into her. It's like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to finally start contributing financially and acquiring the skills to generate a bigger income. He is apparently a quite successful day trader, and has been teaching her and a group of other people how to day trade in extreme detail. She insisted she show me what she was doing, so I let her chew my ear off for an hour about day trading, looking at her programs, charts, indicators, and all that, ranting about financial markets, etc. She's learned trading with leverage and stuff I have no clue about, but it amazes me that a woman who is too ADHD to read boring government forms and gets overwhelmed with simple adult stuff like communicating with municipalities or banks and hates math is diving headfirst into something as complex as crypto day trading. Still, she seems surprisingly knowledgeable about all this, and knowing how long it takes her to grasp things she's not interested in, I was impressed.

and she was still defiant about the whole spending inappropriate amount of time stuff. I told her she needs to cool it with the contact, but I won't stand in her way learning something that she feels is a major opportunity for her. We agreed on ground rules. No evenings or weekends, no phone calls past 6 p.m., and no one-on-one meetings, only group settings. She's been stretching these rules every now and then, but largely kept to them. When she's been stretching these rules every now and then, but largely kept to them. When she needed to bend them, she speaks to me beforehand and gives me ample of heads up, but hides her resentment of having to follow these rules. Still, she seems to want to keep the peace for now and is being proactive. Things have cooled down to a degree where I don't get

angry anymore any time she mentions him. Anyway, other than that she now thinks she's a pro and a future millionaire and constantly talks about trading, it's been bumpy for other reasons outside of this weird friendship. Her trading talk is annoying as shit and I still think she's got a little crush on her big traitor hero. I have grown a bit distant in the last couple months because this whole situation emotionally drained me but we are keeping things going. I know this is not the dramatic cheating and infidelity story some people were expecting. It's a pretty severe, rough patch in an average normal people relationship. She's not cheating on me physically, I think, she might have a crush, which happens in a long-term relationship.

And I have other shit to deal with at the moment that I just can't expend the energy to obsess over this every day for hours or fight this into a dramatic my way or the highway conclusion. I don't want to blow our marriage up just to satisfy other people's personal convictions on how a relationship should be like. It's shit right now, but it's our shit. My instinct tells me it's a passing fancy, and if things go sideways still, I can always walk out. This will be my last and only update. I hope you enjoy this story. Canceled my marriage ceremony after my partner covertly permitted children but prohibited my adolescent daughter and asserted it was due to my daughter spoiling our prenuptial celebration by falling ill.

38M was supposed to get married to Addison, 40F, earlier this week, but I canceled it at the very last minute. We have been together for the past three years. We got to be. We got to be. We got to be. We We got engaged about six months ago and up until the engagement. Everything was going fine. Things started going downhill when we started talking about who we wanted to be there at the wedding, and since I have a daughter, I wanted her to be there, but Addison made it very clear that she did not want any kids at the wedding. It was a weird stance, especially considering the fact that she has two children of her own from a previous marriage as well, and she also has six nieces and nephews who she is very close to.

So I didn't understand why she didn't want any kids at the wedding, especially since all the people that we had invited were also parents. We had a bunch of fights about it initially, but then, I gave in and I told her that as long as she was not going to invite any kids from her side of the family, I was fine with keeping my daughter away from the wedding. And for the record, my daughter is not even a little kid, she is 14 years old, but that did not make any difference to Addison. She told me that she didn't want any exceptions and as much as she adored my daughter, her own kids, and even her nibblings, she wanted a stress-free wedding and she didn't want to offend anybody with kids, so she was keeping all kids out. I was quite upset about it, but if she wanted a child-free wedding so bad, I figured that I wouldn't be able to do anything about it since she had already made up her mind.

Besides, the wedding itself was going to be pretty small, we were literally getting married in my parents' backyard with just a couple of our friends and family attending. So I figured that the kids wouldn't be missing out on anything too much fun and I was fine with her decision until a couple of days before the wedding. That was when I found out that while she had told everybody else that this was going to be a child-free wedding, she was still going to have her own kids and her nibblings at the wedding. I was at work when I received an email from her younger sister Kate and it was just a bunch of

photos of her two daughters dressed in wedding appropriate clothes and she was basically asked for approval. I was confused for a couple of seconds until I noticed that Kate had sent that email to our joint email address that we had created specifically for wedding-related communications so guests could RSVP and other stuff, like for vendors, and all that. I knew it must have been an accident but it was too late, I'd already taken a screenshot. I had already seen the email since I was taking a break and they got unlucky with the timing. A couple of minutes later, after I had put two and two together and figured out what was going on, I tried to check the email again, but of course, by then, Addison had deleted it already. I was furious about what she was trying to do, but when I got back home that day from work, I didn't say anything.

I pretended like everything was fine and initially, she was acting a bit strange, probably out of fear that I might have read that email and figured things out, but when I didn't give anything away, she got normal as well. This was about two days before the wedding and I knew that she was up to something behind my back, so I decided to speak to my daughter about how she felt regarding Addison. I had had the talk with her earlier as well, even before I had proposed, but I thought that it would be better to talk to her again because by then, I was having serious second thoughts about the wedding. And I'm lucky that I did make that decision because when I spoke to my daughter, she told me that before the engagement, Addison had always been very nice to her whenever they met,

but after the engagement, something had definitely shifted. My daughter told me that she hadn't spoken about it to me because she would see that I was really happy with Addison and she did not want to ruin that, but after the engagement, Addison started behaving weirdly with her because every time that she would visit, Addison would behave very differently when I was not around.

According to my custody arrangement, I'm supposed to have my daughter for half the month and that's a pretty significant chunk of time. And from what she has told me, apparently, Addison would switch on the charm whenever I would come back home from work, but for the rest of the time, she would totally ignore my daughter and that hadn't been the case before the engagement. It was really bizarre hearing about it. And then when my daughter told me that when she was told that Addison wanted a child-free wedding, she figured that she probably didn't want her in her life that much anymore. And so she didn't even fight for it.

I felt really disappointed in myself for even allowing Addison to walk all over me and talking me into my. not inviting my own daughter to my wedding. And that was when I decided to cancel this wedding. I spoke to Addison just the day before the wedding and I decided not to bother going back home that day. Addison tried to contact me several times, but I didn't respond and I knew that she would contact my parents next, so I instructed them to tell her that I would see her on the day of the wedding itself. And instead of going back home that day, I just spent the entire day with my daughter because I felt like I really needed to make up for all this. By the end of the day, both of us felt significantly better, and after dropping her back at her mom's place, I crashed

in a hotel room and went straight to my parents' place the next morning with just an hour to go before the ceremony was supposed to begin. When I showed up, I could see that a couple of people had already arrived, including my in-laws and both of Addison's sisters, Kate and Amelia. And unsurprisingly, even their kids were with them, all six of Kate and Amelia's children and even Addison's two kids were there, running about because all of them were under 12. When she saw me, Addison rushed to greet me at the door and started explaining that, even though she had specified it to Amelia and Kate that this was going to be a child-free wedding, they still couldn't leave the kids behind and so, we would have to accommodate them along with

her children, since in spite of her instructions. Her parents believed that it would be weird to get married without her own kids. She was coming up with a bunch of ridiculous explanations and I could tell that she thought I was mad, but I didn't even say anything until she was done talking. And then, she started asking me about why I was dressed, where I had been the previous night and stuff. I just laughed in her face, brought out my phone and showed her a screenshot of that email that Kate had accidentally sent to the joint email account and that was enough to shut her up. She knew instantly that she was caught, there was no talking her way out of this, so she

just started apologizing, but it was too late. I told her that I had spent the previous day with my daughter, and I had found out that for the past couple of months, ever since we got engaged, she had been treating her differently and at this point, I didn't even want an answer or an explanation. I just wanted to tell her that we were through, I was not getting married to her because it was obvious that she did not value my daughter and it was really sad because I had never treated her children any differently from my own daughter. But it was clear that me and my family did not hold any value in her life, and so, I didn't think it was a good idea for us to be getting

married anymore. Having said that, I didn't even wait for her to say anything, I just walked off. She kept calling for me, but I didn't even turn around, I just walked back to my car. Then I drove to the hotel and then, because I had nothing else to do, I took a really long nap. I woke up around noon to thousands of messages from everybody that I knew who had been invited to the wedding, my friends and family were all very confused and my in-laws were very upset. But I couldn't bring myself to care about any of that, I just explained the situation as briefly as I could to my friends and family and left it at that and then I went to see my daughter. I told her that I had called off the wedding and that now, I would spend more time.

with her because I felt like in the past couple of months, we had started disconnecting without even realizing it because I knew that earlier, if she had a problem with anybody seeing. She would have come to me immediately and because she hadn't done that with Addison, I knew that there was a problem. Both of us got a little emotional, but at least we were able to sort that out. Now, coming to Addison, that's what I've been struggling with. It's been five days since the day that we were supposed to get married and by now, pretty much everyone knows exactly why I canceled the wedding. It's not just about her behavior with my daughter, it's also about the dishonesty and I think that's a huge deal breaker in any relationship.

I've been cheated on twice before this and I know for a fact that it always starts with small lies. So for me, any form of dishonesty is something that I can't tolerate and this was a pretty big lie that she told and she expected to get away with it. And that's why I don't think that I did anything wrong by breaking off the wedding at the last moment and quite frankly, I can't bring myself to pretend to care that I did it at the very last moment. It might have been very unceremoniously done, but I think it's fair enough since that's exactly how she planned to spring the whole situation with the kids onto me, at the very last moment. However, her family is very upset that I didn't even give her a chance to explain and think

that I'm being unfair. Addison, along with the rest of her family, has been texting me nonstop and all she has has to say in her defense is that she couldn't outright ask me not to invite my daughter, but she had her reasons and she finds it very insulting in spite of being with her for so many years. I didn't think that our relationship deserved at least a conversation before I just ended it like that. She hasn't mentioned the reasons, she told me that she's only going to talk to me about it in person so I don't know how she could possibly explain not wanting to invite my daughter to our wedding because as far as I'm concerned. I don't think she's ever had any problems with my daughter and

vice versa. But I feel like I should have at least spoken to her maybe. I don't know why, but all of a sudden, for the past couple of days, I've been feeling very guilty. I feel like I should have just been honest with her instead of creating so much drama and pretending like everything was fine until the last minute. The day that I found out what she was planning, I should have just come back home from work and confronted her about it, but I didn't and I feel like if I had done that, a lot of the drama that's happening right now could have been avoided. I feel like a bit of a jerk because of that and it's been bothering me. So, Ida for not speaking to my fiancé and canceling the wedding at the last minute?

Update 1. It's been three days since I posted and I'm still staying in the hotel but today, I reached out to Addison and I told her that she had to move out of the house at the earliest. After all, it used to be my house before she moved in, so I think it's only fair to. that now that we are done, she has to move out. I've given her until the end of the month and until then, I think I'm going to crash with a friend because I don't think staying in a hotel is a feasible long-term idea. Apart from that, I'm feeling much better about my decisions because my friends have reassured me that at the end of the day, I chose what was most important to me and that's being a father. I don't think that I have to be sorry that my daughter is

most important to me, if anybody has a problem with that, they can stay out of my life. But I'm not going to be apologetic for choosing my daughter, I really don't care what Addison's reasons were. If she can't explain it to me through text, I don't think I need to hear them at all because right now, I just don't want to see her at all. I've also blocked her parents and her sisters since they were clearly in on her plan the entire time and they didn't breathe a word of it to me. It's just really disappointing because I actually got along quite well with these people and I had really assimilated into their family, or at least that's what I believe. before all of this happened. Anyway, so far, I hadn't been responding to Addison but last night, I told her to look for a place and I also told her that whatever reason she had for not wanting to invite my daughter,

she could either explain it to me through text or she could just let it go because whatever damage had to be done. It's already been done and there's no going back from this at this point. That's all I had to say to her, and after that, she hasn't replied. And for those of you who were asking, I'm sorry, but I really don't know what her reasons for suddenly becoming so different around my daughter could possibly be. I've spoken to my daughter at length about this because I am really curious, but unfortunately, she had no idea either. When I showed her the messages and spoke about the reasons, she was just as confused as I was,

and she told me that when Addison started acting differently around her, even she had been very taken aback and she had even tried to get the relationship back to normal in the initial stages after the engagement. But she just kept acting coldly and was pretty much indifferent to all the efforts that my daughter put in. So if anything, Addison was the problem here from whatever I've heard for my daughter. And I know a lot of kids find it very difficult to come to terms with the fact that their parents are moving on but trust me, my daughter is not one of those kids and she's definitely not lying about Addison. For starters, her mom and I never had been married. We had just been dating for two years when we had her and we broke up when our daughter was just three years old.

So she barely even remembers us being together and on top of that, my ex has been married for the past five years as well. I know for a fact that my decision to move on and get married to Addison did not bother my daughter at all and like I said, they used to have a good relationship until recently. And I'm not claiming that my daughter is a perfect little angel, though in my eyes, she might be, but I know she's not a liar, and least of all about things like this. She knows how much I value honesty and transparency above all in my loved ones, so I truly don't believe that my daughter might be lying to me about Addison. Anyway, it doesn't really matter because I don't think that Addison is going to come clean to me

about whatever her reasons were because it's been several hours since I texted her, and she still hasn't replied. And usually, she's always on her phone, since she works from home and her job requires her to be active on her phone constantly. So it's probably very unlikely that she hasn't seen my message and she always replies as soon as possible, which is why I'm pretty sure that she's just choosing to ignore me right now. It doesn't make any difference to me, though, I just want her out of my house so I can go back to living comfortably in my home since this hotel arrangement is a bit awkward and I have to go back to work in a couple of days. Update two so it's been three days since I texted Addison and earlier today, she finally

replied to me. She told me that she could understand why I did not want to see her in person. But it was extremely important that I meet her so she could tell me her reasons as to why she did not want my daughter at the wedding, so I did not end up misunderstanding her. Regardless of the fact that we were broken up now. She told me that she didn't want me to perceive her as the bad guy in the situation because at least according to her, her reasons were completely valid and she didn't want to hurt me, so that's why she had to lie to me. That last bit was kind of stupid of her because eventually, she did end up hurting me. Anyway, I replied to her within half an hour, and I made it very clear that I was not going to be

speaking to her in person. Whatever she had to say, she had to say to me by text and that's it. About an hour ago, she finally replied to me, telling me that the reason she did not want my daughter at the wedding was because of something that happened at the engagement party. So unfortunately, on the day of the party, my daughter was. hadn't been feeling too well. It was my turn to have her for the month, and I already knew that she was not feeling up to it so I told her that she could just stay in her room that day, but she said that she didn't want to skip the party in spite of being in the same house

and even though she was feeling kind of under the weather, she decided to attend. And a couple of minutes after I had toasted, she decided to go back upstairs and, of course, a lot of people did ask questions about whether she was fine or not. But by no means would I say that she stole our thunder, which is apparently what Addison believes my daughter did. Because Addison apparently went upstairs to check on my daughter after she went back upstairs saying that she was too sick to stay downstairs with everyone else, and she overheard my daughter talking and giggling on the phone with somebody else, and at the time, she didn't seem to be sick at all. Anyway, that one incident didn't sit right with Addison and for some reason, instead

of talking to me or even to my daughter about it, she decided to talk to her sisters about it and even though I did get along well with them, I can't deny that they had a tendency to stir the pot. So that's what they did, and the whole thing became a lot bigger than it should have been, and she started pushing my daughter away after the engagement, believing that maybe somewhere deep down, my daughter was not happy about us getting married and was probably going to start trying to create problems in the future. It was all based on that one stupid incident and I was so disgusted by her behavior that I did not even reply to Addison after that. Just for constant, I did talk to my daughter about whatever Addison told me and she said that she was indeed speaking to a friend of hers after she came back upstairs that day but that didn't mean she was feeling any less sick.

She was still feeling pretty unwell but I don't understand what feeling under the weather has to do with being able to talk and laugh with a friend on the phone. It was completely bizarre and I don't think that Addison's reasons were not as valid as she thought they were. I honestly feel like she might have been insecure right from the beginning and that incident probably. just gave her an excuse to stop pretending to be nice to my daughter. I'm lucky that I did not end up marrying her because I'm sure that if I did, she would probably create a lot of problems. Now that I think back on it, there were a lot of instances where she would complain about me never paying her enough attention and not spending enough time with her, mostly when my daughter was around, even though she was the same way with her kids and I never complained about it

because I did not think that was worth complaining about. I thought it was a good thing that she was being a good parent and I never thought that she would be insecure about something like this. Even in my previous posts, I had mentioned that I hadn't been able to devote enough time to my daughter, and one of the major reasons for that was Addison. I never really noticed it because she was so subtle about it, but she was constantly finding ways to keep me so busy, both emotionally and with tasks, that I didn't even realize what she was doing. I guess I just never connected the dots myself because I was too invested in our relationship and the red flags just don't show up until it's too late.

But I'm glad that finally, I was able to get out of that relationship because if we were going to be together at the cost of my relationship with my daughter, then I didn't want it. Especially after that stupid message that she sent today, I don't even know what to make of it. For a while, I really did think about responding to her and reading her the riot act because I couldn't believe that she had ruined our relationship or something as silly as this, which could have been resolved by just talking it out. But then, I decided against it because it's really not worth the trouble. I would much rather just ignore her until it's time to finally see her again and it's probably going to be pretty soon because I need to get back to work and for

that, I need my work close so I'm going to have to go back home to collect that. I just hope that she finds a place to stay soon because even though I've spoken to a couple of my friends and all them are more than willing to let me stay with them, quite frankly, I just want to move back home and I really want her out now. Update 3, two days ago, I posted here, and earlier today, I went back home to collect my clothes and stuff. I've moved out of the hotel room, it was getting too expensive and I was on my way to a friend's place so I thought I would just stop by and collect everything that I need. I didn't reply to Addison after that message that she sent me, and I just blocked her. So I had no way of finding out whether she was home or not, but I just

decided to take the risk and I showed up in the afternoon and unfortunately, she did happen to be home. She seemed very upset to see me and I could tell that she really wanted to talk to me, but I just started hurrying through everything that I needed to do because I thought that the quicker I could finish this, the quicker I would get to leave. So she made it for me to get done collecting my things, and right before I was about to walk out of the door, I told her, her that I really wanted her to look for a place so I could move back in at the earliest and then, I just started walking back to my car, but she started following me. She kept talking throughout, she told me that she really did feel sorry for everything that she had done. She told me that

she shouldn't have lied to me, and she should have just been honest with me instead of making such a huge deal out of that incident on the day of the engagement party. She acknowledged the fact that she had been very immature about the whole thing and made a big deal out of nothing but the way her sister had put it to her. It sounded like a huge thing and she had even had a fight with them recently because of that because she had realized that she had inadvertently ruined her relationship

by listening to their advice. She was practically begging me for a second chance and she told me that this time, she was going to make it work with both me and my daughter and I felt really sad hearing it because it was too little and too late. So as soon as I was near my car, I told her that I could understand how she felt.

It wasn't easy for me to give up on us either, but it had to be done because for me, there was nothing more important than my daughter and I owed it to her to do what was right. I could tell that she was about to start crying and I really did not want to deal with that, so I just quickly said goodbye to her, reminded her to find a new place, and drove away. I felt like a bit of a jerk doing that to her because seeing her in person was a lot more difficult than just speaking to her in text or whatever, but it had to be done, so I don't have any regrets. Anyway, I'm crashing with a friend right now and hopefully, by the next couple of weeks, Addison will have found another place and I can resume my normal life.

Or whatever normal is going to be from now onwards because I'm pretty sure that this is going to take a long time to recover from. The one good thing that has come out of all of this, though, is that my bond with my daughter has become stronger than ever, and we've gone back to how we used to be before the engagement and everything. She's telling me everything about her life once again, and there are a number of my own. no secrets between us. It feels nice, and when I spoke to her on FaceTime today and I could see her talking about her day at school, it felt like everything was worth it. We are even planning a getaway to the beach in a couple of weeks and I've also asked a couple of my friends with kids around her age to join in because I think I could really do with a break and just have some fun

myself. Since the past couple of weeks have been pretty rough for me. I hope you enjoy this story. My former partner requested financial assistance for a child who is not biologically related to me, and my mother and sister are supporting their claim. A few years back, I was in a relationship with a woman, the relationship was bad, she was very controlling and abusive, it ended up really bad and we broke up. I kept going on with my life, and after some years I got a decent job, enough to solve all my needs, have a comfortable life and make some savings. The thing is, a couple months after getting my job, my ex contacted me, she first asked me to talk,

I believe that she may want to reconnect or something, but she showed up with a five-year-old child, claiming he was my son and demanding for child support. I didn't believe her, but the child age matched the time since we cut contact. I got advice from a lawyer, a friend of mine, to try to solve this out of the court, I offered to take responsibility, pay all the costs and being an accident. part of the kid's life, only after making a DNA test. Everyone was okay with this except for my ex, she acted offended and demanded to just give her the money she deserved, she used all the excuses she could, even contacted my family to

told them I was trying to avoid taking responsibility of her child, when she run out of excuses, and the DNA test was finally made, and surprise. I'm not the father, she was so mad with the result and cried about the money, saying it was unfair and she deserved it, but she didn't accomplish anything. Moving on to the last week, there was a little party on my parents' house, my brother, a friend, and I were talking, and my brother started to joke about the situation with my ex, my friend, and I started to joke about it too. Some of our comments were a little dark and bad, but we were far away from the rest of the people. Literally we were on the opposite side of the house, and nobody else could

hear us, at least that was what we thaw angth, we were locked in like crazies when my sister appeared very angry and pushed me against the wall, she spied us and heard our conversation and she was really mad. She started to yell at us about how horrible people we were for being mocking of a poor woman. Few hours later, when the party ended, she asked me to go to the kitchen with our parents, and she started to say how awful I was for the previous situation, apparently, my ex had been in contact with her, and she believed her version. And that was her way to have an intervention, my brother and I were like, are you serious? When she started to say how I forced my ex and to be a single mother and that I have the moral obligation to help her, my dad only said that

we maybe were being too cruel making jokes of her, but that I wasn't responsible for that kid. My mom then surprised all of us when she said even if the kid is not yours, you are making more than enough money to support that child, you should have helped her. Since then, I have been receiving texts, my dad and my brother are on my side, saying I'm not responsible for her, but my sister is telling me how horrible I am for being ruining their lives. My mom only said it's your decision and I respect it. I'm just very disappointed that you ended up being so selfish. I'm aware that she doesn't deserve my money and I'm not planning to give her any, but the constant harassment of my sister trying to guilt me, it's just exhausting.

More info, we're not from the US, just to get that out of the way, now, from what I know, she found out about my situation from a friend of hers who is dating one of my friends, she thinks that, as a man, I should take responsibility for her because I have a better income than her, and as we used to date, I owe her that. Even if I'm not the father, honestly, I don't know why my mom took her side, our relationship wasn't good, she used to be too controlling and even became a little abusive, so I don't know why she cares about her so much anyway, I'm not planning to give her anything. After all this, I don't want to know anything about her. Update, my ex demanded me for child support for a kid

that is not mine, my mother and sister are on their side. It's been a while, after my last post, I read all the comments and decided to show them to my mother. We had to talk about the situation. Again, she started on my ex's side, but after reading the post and all the comments and opinions. She realized she was wrong, I think the thing that hurted her the most was all the doubts about if she cheat on my dad and I wasn't his son, and if that was the reason if she was on her side, we had a very long conversation, she told me that she believed my ex because she was always so nice and kind with her. That she decided to don't believe me when I told her all the things she did to me during the relationship, because a good girl like her could never do something like that, so, I must be lying, after that, she apologized to me, we are. good now, on the other side, my sister. At first she decided that she wouldn't talk to my until I'll take responsibility, but after some days I talked with her, she is totally on her side, even after showing her everything, she said that none of that matter, because a woman's

word go first, and that's all the proof anyone could need, also. She said that even if you are not the biological father, you have an effective responsibility with her, so, you must be man enough to take charge of them and start acting like a real man. She was a lost cause, about my ex, I did some research, and I found out that, shortly after we broke she started dating another guy. Or maybe she was cheating me with him before, I'm not sure, they broke some weeks later, and she had multiple dates until she found she was pregnant. I also found that she had been trying to find a father to her kid for the last two years, and I was the next on the list, but looks like she is desperate now. Because she was never that aggressive with any other one before,

now, the reason of this post, some days ago, my ex and my sister came to my workplace, they made a big sign with my face, that says he abandoned his child and irresponsible father, and started a drama, saying all their bullshit. Their intention was to shame me and use the social pressure to force me to take charge of them, they literally said it, to don't make the story too long, they were taken out of the place, I got problems for that scandal, even after showing all the proofs and legal documents that show they were lying. I was earned that this better never happen again or I'll be fired, after that I contacted my friend, the lawyer, and we are now redacting a very long and detailed paper against them, my ex and my sister too, they were too far,

now I'm going against them with everything, maybe that scare them enough to leave me alone, Update 2. My ex demanded me for child support for a kid that is not mine. My mother and sister are on their side. Hi everyone. And sorry for the lack of news. Last weeks have been crazy with a lot of stuff, but I think now is a good moment to update you all. First of all, I'm not allowed to talk a lot about the lawsuit, the most I can share to you. Is that my ex was extremely freaked out when she knew about it, she is now begging to drop it, she offered to take back everything she said, to never bother or even contact me again, she even tried to guilt me saying that I would be ruining her and her son's life, but honestly I don't care, I got tired of be the good guy long time ago.

She messed with me, now I'm fig thing back, and for my sister, the lawsuit at first only made her worst, as her attempt to shame me and my job didn't work as good as she wanted, she moved it to social media, spreading her BS about me abandoning my child or not taking responsibility. and exposing my legal actions like acts of censorship and misogyny, but at the end, that will be worst for her, not only because I can dismiss her defamation easily, but also is more evidence to our favor. Anyways, this is going to be a long road, and we are just beginning, recently, we had a posada on my parents' home. Every year we use this excuse to make a big family party before Christmas, I had my doubts, because I didn't want it to be near my sister, but after some relatives

assured me that she wouldn't be there, I decided to go, big mistake, she was there, mom decided that, despite everything that happened, I was taking all this to far. So she wanted all us to met to solve this problem as a family, I tried to get out of there the moment I realized what she intended, but some relatives tried to stop me while my mom cried that I needed to stop, that I was tearing apart the family and needed to learn to forgive and let go, I realized that, despite everything. Even knowing I was telling the truth, She was still on my sister's side, I got out there, saying her that I'm not attending any family event again if she is there, and to don't ever think on trying this BS again, at this point,

almost all my family knows what she did, some of them think my sister is crazy. Some other think she is crazy but I'm taking it too far, a couple days ago, Mom invited me to so end Christmas with them, I didn't want it to go after what she did, but I decided to give her a chance after she swear that wouldn't happen again, but not only she had plan to do it again. My brother warned me that this time she intended to lock me in until I forgive my sister and stop the nonsense, I called my mom and told her I knew and that I was done with her and my sister to don't talk to me until she realized she supported the wrong person, and to apologize. I don't need to say how many times she tried to call me the following hours,

and all the drama she made when I didn't show up for Christmas, but, again, I'm tired of be the good guy, so, that's it for the moment, hope all you had a nice, Christmas and I wish you for a happy and drama-free New Year. Now on to the next story. Story 2 parents found out I'm well off after my brother hired a private investigator and now they are treating me like I'm their golden child. I am the middle child of a family of three siblings that grew up in a small town. My father is a hardworking, but emotionally inaccessible man who is looking at retiring soon. My mother is a coutowing housewife from a traditional conservative and religious background. They raised me, and I love them, but they

They have always considered me a disappointment. My older brother is the golden child. He's 40, married to a completely vapid and quiet woman. They have two boys, both into sports, punching. And I think they are complete brats. My brother's job has been mainly selling cars, and he works at a dealership nearby. He went to college, got an MBA, all paid for by my parents. As a kid, he was very abusive towards me, and got away with it for the most part.

an adult, he took on this I am a mentor to the handicapped attitude around me. Like I am mentally deficient and should be grateful to his charity towards me, most of his advice is just abuse in another form or a chance to boast about his cars, big house, trophy wife, two athletic kids, powerboat, ATVs, and all that, I was the kid who cried too much and made excuses, to be fair, I didn't do that well in school. I was bullied, picked on, and made fun of because I wasn't a here. huge redneck jock like most kids in this town, I have asthma, which my parents don't believe is a real thing, suffered depression since I can remember, and was never able to run in a straight

line, much less toss around a football. My parents were always expressing their frustration and why I was never as smart or outgoing as my brother. I graduated school with a disappointing 2.5 GPA, used my own money to go to college, but dropped out on the second year, this was always brought up to me in conversation, my little sister was a golden princess. I don't have much to say about her, because I moved out of the house when she became a teenager, so I feel like most of my feelings about her come from an adult point of view. She's not a bad person, just a little spoiled. She engages with the abuses my parents and brother use on me, but it's mostly parroting, I think. To avoid being the low one on the totem pole, she married at 19, had a grand wedding,

and has three kids of her own, the only one I like is her middle child, and I am sure it's projected sympathy, because she reminds me of what it was like to be the middle child, and she is always getting picked on, I was always an antisocial and awkward nerd. After I dropped out of college, I worked at a gaming and comic book store, which has been out of business for over seven years, but my parents kept using it in present tense, while there, I met a fellow geek who was looking to start a tech business, and he and I started a support business that grew and grew, eventually. He sold the company to a bigger company that had to buy me out, they did so with cash and

stock, and then their stock did really well, during this time, I invested or created some extra business interests, with a lot of them being lucrative, without getting too much into it. I am currently worth seven figures of assets and currently work as a CTO of another private startup, but I don't live extravagantly, because I don't need to, I drive a 15-year-old Saturn, live in a two-bedroom house, albeit in a nice neighborhood, and all my furniture is second dash and I am still single, see a therapist. And I am busy most of the time, I have to fight alcoholism, which my parents do not support whatsoever, because they think that it's all in my head like the asthma and depression.

My parents expect me to be at dinner every Sunday, but they live at the other end of the state, a 90 to 120 minute drive each way, and that takes up most of my Sunday. Half my weekend, but they just assume as a single mental case, as my brother calls me, openly, I don't have anything better to do, for three hours, I had to endure everything from coerced praise of my brother's latest big sale, to being told advice on how to live my life, grow up, get married, and be an adult for once, if I skip a dinner. I'll hear about it next dinner, my parents haven't said I'm a moocher per se, but it's implied, which always puzzles me, in fact, I never ever.

have a good answer for my therapist as to why I still kept going, because any success I've had is belittled or redefined in some negative light, I haven't exactly shared my life with anyone back home. Until very recently, everyone still thought I worked in that gaming store, my life of retail sluggishness was compared to the outgoing and go-getter lifestyle of my brother, who had a real job like a grown-up, games and comics were kid stuff. Anytime I mention technology of any kid, my brother talks over me like I haven't a clue. And I have long since learned to just let him, it's very obvious that he's full of shit, but I feared calling him out because then I'd have to explain how I know that,

and then I'd have to explain how what I do, and I guess I was afraid they'd belittle that and it would affect everything. I am a hot mess, last month, however, it changed. Because my brother got hold of some of my personal data from mom and dad, he hired some private investigator company to give them a report on me as a person under the pretense it was an employer background check, my guess is that they were going to have an intervention of some sort, but what they found shocked them, they found my net worth. Where I lived was not exactly a room in some shanty, and some other things I wanted to keep private, because I deal in security, I got alerts of some

unauthorized credit polls, and long story short, I figured out what had happened, I was so angry, I hired that same agency to look up their net worth and assets, needless to say. My brother was living way outside his means, has several arrests for DWI and public drunken conduct over the years, a few domestic disturbance calls, a file with CPS, but no current charges, scheduled IRS-backed payments, and has three mortgage loans on his house. His credit is in the shitter. My parents were modest and had very little outside of what I already knew, boring and actually quite sensible in comparison. I didn't even look up my sister. When I came to dinner, I was looking to burn down some bridges, however, what I came into was even more depressing, my parents treated me completely different.

They awkwardly fawned over me like I was always the golden child, and this caused my brother to lose his shit halfway through dinner. He tried to compete with me by possibly making up stories about recent commissions and a promotion, and I merely said that these were good things because of all the IRS tax issues, loans, and overextended credit. He denied all of it, I handed him a copy of my report, and said it was he who inadvertently suggested that agency when he pulled mine, I have to confess, that felt good for a few minutes of my life, my parents scolded him with dramatic shock, but it was obvious they were in on it, too, they had to have given him the social security number. For one, it was sickening, and I got no joy over the fight,

I felt like I couldn't define the disdain I had for my family until this moment, they were all greedy cowards, the next hour they threw each other under the bus while I just kept quiet when I could, sometimes they turn to me, and I'd give nonchalant single word answers, or shrug a lot. My sister, her husband, my brother's wife, and all five kids just sat dumbfounded because nothing like this had ever happened before, usually it's pretty quiet and predictable, my mother starts the conversation, my father grunts a lot, my brother boasts a lot, his wife boasts a lot. My brother and sister say what they are up to if they get the chance, and here and there

will be some jabs at how I should look up to my brother and be a real man, now it was my mom and dad and my brother screaming about all this old news, like shit that happened to the family 20 to 30 years ago, and whose fault it really was. Like everything unraveled in an MMA free-for-all, every stupid thing I felt about them was validated, and I feel like I should feel happy or have a sense of justice, but frankly, I feel terrible, I don't think I handled it well, I knew they were awful people, what was I hoping to accomplish by dragging my brother's dirty linen out. Now his kids know, for Chris's sake, it ended when my brother, read in a face with fury, blamed me for causing all the problems in this family and one huge summary, you should have

never been born, you could tell my mom and dad were trying to shush him in a panic, something I have never seen them do before that night. But they never acknowledged how they treated me before, I got up at some point and told them I was tired of them all, and I wasn't coming back to dinner anymore, then my parents accused me of withholding from them, they said some niece or nephew had some ailment I could have fixed and turned a blind eye, I was never aware of these things. And no one asked me for help, frankly I think they were making it all up on the spot, but I didn't say that, we thought you worked at a comic book store, no, I stopped correcting you 10 years ago, it hasn't been in business since 2011, something I mentioned more than once, ugh.

How these narcissists rewrote history was beyond appalling and straight to embarrassing, I finally just walked out and drove home, I have mixed feelings, I feel kind of violated that now they know how much I am worth, and there is definitely going to be pressure to pay them back because I saw them do this to my brother. I don't want to deal with that, yes, I am grateful my mom and dad gave me hot food, fresh water, and my own bed to sleep growing up, yes, we went to amusement parks every summer, and no, I was not beaten by my parents at least, but I was definitely not their favorite. And I feel like any

accomplishment I have had as an adult was done in spite of my upbringing, I grew up with them looking the other way when my brother punched me, kicked me, and verbally abused me, even if they think verbal abuse is not a real thing, I feel like I am just done, I know they are my family, but I am just so done with them all. I don't want them to die or anything, I just want to completely cut ties with them, and close that chapter in my life, of course, if I get a girlfriend and want to get married and have kids,

how am I going to approach that? I hope you enjoy this story. I requested that my sibling refrain from bringing any dishes to the Thanksgiving gathering due to their lack of culinary skills. This upset them, and they declared themselves the main chef, resulting in me being ousted from the event. The family group chat.

Every year, our family does a big Thanksgiving dinner, and we all typically bring a dish or two. My sister, who's a lovely person in every other way, insists on cooking something homemade every time. The issue? She's. Not a great cook. And I don't mean just not great, I mean she has somehow managed to turn classic dishes into borderline and edible creation. For context, last Thanksgiving, she showed up with her special recipe stuffing that was over-seasoned with random spices like cinnamon and cardamom. It was dry, and the flavors were confusing and totally off for stuffing.

Only one person took a small bite, and the rest went untouched. Another year, she brought a green bean casserole that had some kind of strange, chewy texture, she later admitted she used coconut milk and almond flour to experiment. No one wanted seconds of that either. This year, I'm hosting Thanksgiving. Since I'm responsible for putting it all together, I wanted to keep the menu consistent so that people could actually enjoy a cohesive meal. I thought I'd avoid drama by asking her to bring non-food items instead, like wine, soda,

or even some flowers. I explained to her, very kindly, I thought, that I just wanted to make things easy and streamlined, and I'd handle the main dishes. But she didn't take it well. She got offended and told me I was being controlling and shutting her out of the family gathering. She then accused me of making her feel inadequate and said that Thanksgiving is about everyone contributing, not me deciding what's acceptable. I told her that everyone appreciates her effort, but that she could contribute in other ways

and still be part of it. She doubled down and said she's bringing her famous green bean casserole whether I like it or not. Now, my mom and a couple of other family members have chimed in, saying I should just let her bring whatever she wants because it's Thanksgiving and it's the thought that counts. They're acting like I'm committing some huge offense by wanting the food to be enjoyable for everyone and not have random experimental dishes that no one will eat. But I feel like I'm just trying to keep the meal enjoyable and, frankly, edible. I don't think it's wrong to want guests to actually enjoy the food, especially since I'm putting in a lot of effort to host. Am I really being unreasonable here? IDA

Update 1, alright, well, things have escalated fast. Thanks to everyone who offered advice, I tried to compromise, but it's already turning into a whole thing. And Thanksgiving is still a few weeks away. After our last conversation, my sister was being pretty cagey about what she planned to make, so I reached out to my mom, hoping she could help smooth things over. Instead, she got defensive, saying I'm overthinking and that it's just one dish. I told her I wasn't sure it was just one dish anymore, especially after hearing about my sister's grocery hall, including canned oysters and edible glitter.

Then my mom let slip that my sister has been hard at work on some creative menu she's planning as her Thanksgiving surprise. Apparently, she's been telling the family group chat, which I wasn't included in, by the way, that I'm being controlling and that she wants to expand everyone's palette with something truly unique. To top it off, my cousin sent me a screenshot from the group chat where my sister said she's bringing not one but three dishes to Thanksgiving now. She's calling them her Thanksgiving trio experience, complete with their own place settings and little menu cards she's designing. I'm officially panicking because I have no idea what she's planning to serve, and from what I've heard, it's not remotely traditional.

At this point, half the family thinks I'm overreacting, while the other half is texting me with things like, is she really bringing glittered sweet potatoes? I feel stuck, if I try to control it anymore, I'm the bad guy, but if I don't, Thanksgiving might turn into a tasting event for my sister's avant-garde cooking. So yeah, Thanksgiving is weeks away, and it's already become a family spectacle. I don't know whether to brace myself or just preemptively order pizza. Update 2, November 14th, 2024. All right, so Thanksgiving is now just a little over two weeks away, and somehow, things have escalated even further than I thought possible. I thought maybe my sister's Thanksgiving trio experience would be the peak of the drama, well, turns out I was wrong. Since the last update, my sister has become fully committed to making her dishes the main attraction.

She's been dropping hints in the family group chat, which I'm still not. not included in, but shout out to my cousin for the screenshots about how this Thanksgiving will be one to remember and calling it her Thanksgiving debut. She's apparently been referring to herself as the Thanksgiving head chef and has hinted that she's bringing some kind of culinary surprise centerpiece that will transform the whole experience. From what I can piece together, she's planning a main statement dish in addition to her original three side dishes. I'm picturing something equally bizarre but on a much larger scale, and honestly, I'm terrified. If her green bean casserole was already pushing it, I can't even imagine what she thinks

is worthy of being the centerpiece. Then, to make things even weirder, my mom texted me privately and suggested that I stepped back this year and let my sister shine since she's so excited about her contributions. My mom thinks if we just give her this moment, it'll make her happy and she'll get it out of her system. She even hinted that maybe I should focus on decorations and drinks instead of the main dishes, which feels like an attempt to turn hosting over to my sister without actually saying it. So now, I'm left with a choice, go along with my mom's plan and let my sister essentially hijack Thanksgiving or keep pushing back and risk a family showdown. I just wanted a nice Thanksgiving with dishes everyone would enjoy, but it seems like I'm either

about to hand over the whole meal to her. Or prepare for some serious drama. Thanksgiving isn't even here yet, and it already feels like a circus. I'm half tempted to just sit back and see what chaos unfolds, but part of me is still worried about subjecting the whole family to whatever artistic statement she has planned. Comments where OPE has replied, why FUV Bath 1984? I cannot figure out why you still haven't cancelled hosting. If she wants to take over, let her do so in her own space. Why would you go through all those trouble to host your family when your sister is actively planning sabotage. I would have already bowed out.

Boop, honestly, I'm starting to feel the same way. At first, I thought I could manage the situation by setting boundaries, but it's pretty clear my sister is determined to turn Thanksgiving into her personal stage, no matter what I do. At this point, it's not even about the food, it's about the sheer amount of effort I'm putting in just to have it overshadowed by her artistic vision. Bowing out does sound tempting,

and I'm seriously considering it. Letting her host would give her the spotlight she clearly wants, and I wouldn't have to deal with the stress of trying to balance everyone's feelings. I guess I've just been holding out because I love hosting and didn't want to let her take that away from me. But maybe it's time to throw in the towel and let her take the reins. In her own house. You're definitely giving me something to think about. Thanks.

Too complex, just let her do it and don't cook it. damn thing. Oh, and eat before anyone shows up. Oop, ha ha, that would be one way to handle it, right? Just let her have her Thanksgiving head chef moment and show up with a full stomach. No stress, and zero cooking on my part. I'm honestly so tempted to go this route, if she wants the spotlight that badly, I might as well let her handle everything and watch the chaos unfold from the sidelines. It might even be kind of satisfying to see her realize, how much goes into hosting, especially if her creations don't quite go over as she hopes. Thanks for the idea. This might just be the perfect hands-off Thanksgiving.

Update 3, November 27, 2024. Here we are, the day before Thanksgiving, and things have continued to spiral. I decided to let my sister move forward with her trio experience since pushing back more would only make things worse. I thought we had a plan, she'd bring her dishes, and I'd make sure there were plenty of other options to keep the peace. This morning, my mom let me know that my sister is now adding a surprise dish to her contributions. She's been very secretive about what it is, which is everyone nervous after her past attempts. My mom thinks it's sweet that my sister is putting in so much effort, but a few other family members are not as optimistic.

My cousin texted me privately asking if I had backup food ready, and my dad casually mentioned bringing extra rolls, just in case. At this point, I've decided to stick with the plan and let her have her moment. I'll still have a few traditional dishes on hand so no one goes hungry. Tomorrow will probably be chaotic, but it should at least make for a memorable holiday. Wish me luck, I'll update after Thanksgiving if anything noteworthy happens. Final update, November 28, 2024. Thanksgiving dinner is officially over, and I'd

genuinely don't know where to start. I feel like I just lived through a fevered dream of culinary chaos and family drama, and I need a moment to breathe before I can even process everything. My cousin and I are heading out for drinks to dissect all of it because honestly, what just happened deserves its own Netflix special. I'll post photos later when I get home, but for now, let me try to give you the rundown. So, my sister showed up earlier than expected, which I should have seen coming. She came in like a storm, carrying not just her three dishes but also this giant platter wrapped in foil, which she was clearly trying to make a big deal about. She immediately started rearranging the table, moving my dishes to the side so hers could take center stage.

She even brought her own table runner and candles, saying something about setting the mood for a creative dining experience. I decided not to fight her on it because, at this point, I just wanted to get through the night without a blow-up. Her trio experience was, well, let's just say it was everything I feared and more. She started with a glittery sweet potato mash that somehow managed to taste like a mix of sugar and sand. The glitter wasn't even edible glitter, it was craft glitter, which I didn't realize until one of the kids said, this is crunchy, and I looked closer. Then there was the cranberry and oyster relish. Yes, oysters and cranberries. It looked like someone had spilled jam into clam chowder, and the smell alone was enough to make me lose my appetite.

Finally, she brought a pumpkin curry casserole that had raisins in it for some reason and this weird fishy smell that clumbed to the air for way too long. But the piece to resistance was her surprise centipiece dish, which turned out to be a turkey gelatin mold. Yes, she took ground turkey, mixed it with some kind of broth and seasonings, and turned it into a wobbly, translucent mold. shaped like a turkey. She even garnished it with parsley and cherry tomatoes to make it festive. I wish I were kidding. The entire table went silent when she unveiled it, except for my cousin, who immediately started coughing to cover up what I'm pretty sure was a laugh. Things hit their peak when my mom, who has been defending her this entire time, took one bite of the gelatin mold and just, froze. She didn't say anything, but you could see the regret on her face.

My sister, noticing the lack of enthusiasm, decided to go on this long speech about how Thanksgiving food is too boring and how she's trying to challenge our palettes. She even called my ham and mashed potatoes uninspired, which was rich coming from someone serving glitter sand potatoes. The breaking point came when my aunt, who's usually the peacekeeper, tried the gelatin mold and actually gagged. She tried to be polite about it, but my sister saw her reaction and completely lost it. She started yelling about how nobody in the family supports her and how we're all stuck in the past with our unoriginal food. She even accused me of sabotaging her dishes by not hyping them up enough to everyone. At this point, half the table was trying not to laugh, and the other half was just staring at their plates, probably wondering how we got here. My sister ended up storming out of the house, but not before saying something along the lines of, you'll regret not appreciating my vision when I'm famous.

She left most of her food behind, which my cousin and I quietly threw out after dinner. The rest of the night actually turned out pretty nice once the tension was gone. My dad's emergency ham was a lifesaver, and everyone agreed that next year, we're either going to a restaurant or just skipping Thanksgiving altogether. So now I'm sitting here wondering how this even became my life. I'll post photos later because you all need to see the turkey gelatin mold to believe it, but for now, I'm off to grab a drink, or three, with my cousin to laugh slash cry over everything that went down. This Thanksgiving was truly something else, and I don't know whether

to feel relieved it's over or brace myself for whatever fresh chaos my sister has planned for next year. Stay tuned for photos, it's going to be worth it. Next story, gave my daughter $50,000 because she had to pay her own college while her siblings got $100,000 each. Now my middle daughter demands the same amount for her wedding and won't talk to us. So I 50M have three kids, Sarah 35F, Jessica 25F, and Ben 23M. My wife and I had Sarah when we were both 16. It wasn't easy, but with both our parents' support, we could finish college while we raised her. When it was time for her to go to college, we didn't have the money to help her.

So she took out loans and paid for them herself. We learned from our mistakes and started saving for her siblings, Jessica and Ben, who got around a 100K college fund and had no debt. Through all of this, Sarah never complained. She finished her education, got a fantastic job, and could repay the loans in just three years while staying with us to save as much as possible. She has also helped us a lot with babysitting her younger siblings and has always been selfless. and helped out in any way she could, maybe even to a fault.

So when she told me five years ago, she was getting married, I talked to my wife and told her how bad I felt. We never did anything for her and that I wanted to give her the inheritance I got from my grandmother, which was around 50K to help pay for her wedding and down payment on the house. Luckily, my wife agreed, and even though she didn't really need it, I know it meant a lot to her. The issue is this, Jessica is getting married next to her. year and had assumed we would plan a similar gift for her. She was quite surprised when I told her that we never discuss such plans, and even if we wanted to, we didn't have the budget for it. She told us it wasn't fair that we paid for her sister, but would not do the same for her. I tried to explain the situation, telling her that in the long run, we spend twice as much on her and her brother as we ever did on Sarah. However, she insisted that Sarah was already well off, noting that

Sarah and her husband had paid off their house and were doing extremely well financially. I told her that this had nothing to do with how much money her sister had. This was us finally being able to do something for our oldest child, who had to sacrifice so much because we had her at such a young age. She didn't take it well, left angry, and won't speak to us. My wife thinks we should maybe take out a small loan and give her the money because she isn't used to not talking to her kids and is sad she is being left out of the wedding. preparations. She is even afraid of us not getting invited to the wedding. But I have put my foot

down and won't budge because she is not entitled to our money. Now even Sarah is saying that this is getting out of hand and even offered to help pay half the money. But personally, I'm at a point where I'd rather burn the 50k than give it to her. Sarah and my wife think that this is not worth destroying our family over, but I think that giving in will only make her more entitled in the long run. Update, November 24th, 2024. Thank you all for the fantastic comments and personal messages from my last post. After reading the comments, I felt even more convinced that I was in the right, so I sat down with my wife to talk. Following many of your suggestions, I showed her the post and asked her to read it. She wasn't happy, especially when she saw how many people had read it, but she was also really curious.

This has been on her mind a lot lately, and she wanted to know what all of you were thinking. She had a few issues with my comments. She believes that when I said I would rather burn the money, it indicates I need to change my approach to problem solving. While it might be easy for people on the Internet to suggest that parents cut off contact with their child, she is not ready to lose her little girl. Additionally, she thinks my statement about doing my duty and wanting to take care of myself comes across as, selfish and is not something a parent should say. She believes there is a reasonable compromise. Instead of giving her the full 50K, we can offer her half for the wedding. This way, we can cover most of the expenses from our savings, borrow the rest from Sarah if needed, and pay her back

within a year. I told her right away that I was not going to do that. I told her that we could separate our finances and that she could return to work full-time to help Jessica pay for the wedding. However, I made it clear that I was done. As selfish as it may seem, I don't feel obligated to Jessica anymore, and I want to enjoy my life while I still can. She replied, as she always does, that I am stubborn, and she would take that step if it meant keeping the family together. I told her it was fine but not to come to me complaining about her health when she went back to work full-time. A couple of days ago, she came to me and said that she agreed with my proposal. We made a plan to open a joint bank account where we would deposit our monthly expenses.

After that, we can each use our personal money however we like. We decided on an amount to keep in our savings account for emergencies and agreed to split the remaining funds 50 to 50. I even agreed to cover 60% of the money needed for our joint expenses. This is the first time we will have more than one bank account, so I'm a bit nervous about how it will turn out. I also believe she mentioned talking to her boss about working more hours, but I want to avoid getting involved in that discussion. I spoke with Sarah and expressed my concerns about giving Jessica any money, which I believe is a bad idea. However, Sarah insists that she wants to help. She mentioned that while she agrees with my viewpoint, she doesn't want their mom to return to work full-time.

She clarified that her decision to help was aimed at supporting their mom, not Jessica. I told her that it was her money and she could do as she pleased, but like her mom, I wouldn't involve myself in the situation any further. Right before I wrote this post, I sent an email to Jessica expressing my feelings for her. I clarified where I stood and mentioned that she could decide how involved I would be in her wedding. I don't expect a reply, but now I'll have to wait and see what happens. Comments where Op has replied. Op added this info in the comments. I forgot to mention this in my post, but part of our agreement is that she should not take out any loans with interest.

If she decides to borrow money from friends or family, that's her choice, but I want to avoid having another bank loan under my name. However, I am confident that she won't need to borrow much if she only gives 25K for the wedding, especially since it appears that Sarah is planning to cover half of that amount. Which again, I still think is a bad idea. commenter, you know these three are making a mess you will have to clean up. Ideally you would nope out, but 50k in debt. This has so much potential to go sideways for you it's almost a guarantee. For example, since op isn't involved in this, we can use more than 50K. What happens if your wife can't work?

What if she pays on the loan but only has 10% of the monthly bills? What if she resents you for this? Will you actually die? on this hill and divorce? If not, you may as well go to the bank. Involving Sarah and this is a shitty thing for her to do. Your wife seems to believe she has a separate financial life. That's just not true. I don't know, I could write a 30k word report on this. Half would be petty BS, but the other half involves creditors. That said, I do hope this settles things.

NTA op, it's not 50k. I realize now that I didn't explain something clearly. My wife wants to pay 25K for the wedding, which she and Sarah have agreed to split. She believes this is a reasonable compromise, but I disagree with her. I hope you enjoy this story. Requested my sibling to refrain from bringing dishes to the Thanksgiving gathering due to her lack of culinary skills. This upset her, and she said her.

she declared herself the primary cook, leading to my expulsion. The family group chat. Every year, our family does a big Thanksgiving dinner, and we all typically bring a dish or two. My sister, who's a lovely person in every other way, insists on cooking something homemade every time. The issue? She's. Not a great cook.

And I don't mean just not great, I mean she has somehow managed to turn classic dishes into borderline and edible creations. For context, last Thanksgiving, she showed up with her special recipe stuffing that was over-seasoned with random spices like cinnamon and cardamom. It was dry, and the flavors were confusing and totally off for stuffing. Only one person took a small bite, and the rest went untouched. Another year, she brought a green bean casserole that had some kind of strange, chewy texture, she later admitted she used coconut milk and almond flour to experiment. No one wanted seconds of that either. This year, I'm hosting Thanksgiving.

Since I'm responsible for putting it all together, I wanted to keep the menu consistent so that people could actually enjoy a cohesive meal. I thought I'd avoid drama by asking her to bring non-food items instead, like wine, soda, or even some flowers. I explained to her, very kindly, I thought, that I just wanted to make things easy and streamlined, and I'd handle the main dish. But she didn't take it well. She got offended and told me I was being controlling and shutting her out of the family gathering. She then accused me of making her feel inadequate and said that Thanksgiving is about everyone contributing, not me deciding what's acceptable. I told her that everyone appreciates her effort, but that she could contribute in other ways

and still be part of it. She doubled down and said she's bringing her famous green bean casserole whether I like it or not. Now, my mom and a couple of other family members have chimed in, saying I should just let her bring whatever she wants because it's Thanksgiving and it's the thought that counts. They're acting like I'm committing some huge offense by wanting the food to be enjoyable for everyone and not have random experimental dishes that no one will eat. But I feel like I'm just trying to keep the meal enjoyable and, frankly, edible. I don't think it's wrong to want guests to actually enjoy the food, especially since I'm putting in a lot of effort. to host. Am I really being unreasonable here? Ida. Update 1, all right, well, things have escalated fast. Thanks to everyone who offered advice, I tried to compromise, but it's already

turning into a whole thing. And Thanksgiving is still a few weeks away. After our last conversation, my sister was being pretty cagey about what she planned to make, so I reached out to my mom, hoping she could help smooth things over. Instead, she got defensive, saying I'm overthinking and that it's just one dish. I told her I wasn't sure it was just one dish anymore, especially after hearing about my sister's grocery hall, including canned oysters and edible glitter. Then my mom let slip that my sister has been hard at work on some creative menu she's planning as her Thanksgiving surprise. Apparently, she's been telling the family group chat, which I wasn't included in, by the

the way, that I'm being controlling and that she wants to expand everyone's palette with something truly unique. To top it off, my cousin sent me a screenshot from the group chat where my sister said she's bringing not one but three dishes to Thanksgiving now. She's calling them her Thanksgiving trio experience, complete with their own place settings and little menu cards she's designing. I'm officially panicking because I have no idea what she's planning to serve, and from what I've heard, it's not remotely traditional. At this point, half the family thinks I'm overreacting, while the other half is texting me with things like, is she really bringing glittered sweet potatoes?

I feel stuck, if I try to control it anymore, I'm the bad guy, but if I don't, Thanksgiving might turn into a tasting event for my sisters of Ant Guard cooking. So yeah, Thanksgiving is weeks away, and it's already become a family spectacle. I don't know whether to brace myself or just preemptively order pizza. Update 2, November 14, 2024. All right, so Thanksgiving is now just a little over two weeks away, and somehow, things have escalated even further than I thought possible. I thought maybe my sister's Thanksgiving trio experience would be the peak of the drama,

well, turns out I was wrong. Since the last update, my sister has become fully committed to making her dishes the main attraction. She's been dropping hints in the family group chat, which I'm still not included. in, but shout out to my cousin for the screenshots about how this Thanksgiving will be one to remember and calling it her Thanksgiving debut. She's apparently been referring to herself as the Thanksgiving head chef and has hinted that she's bringing some kind of culinary surprise centerpiece that will transform the whole experience. From what I can piece together, she's planning a main statement dish in addition to her original three side dishes. I'm picturing

something equally bizarre but on a much larger scale, and honestly, I'm terrified. If her green bean casserole was already pushing it, I can't even imagine what she thinks is worthy of being the centerpiece. Then, to make things even weirder, my mom texted me privately and suggested that I stepped back this year and let my sister shine since she's so excited about her contributions. My mom thinks if we just give her this moment, it'll make her happy and she'll get it out of her system. She even hinted that maybe I should focus on decorations and drinks instead of the main dishes, which feels like. like an attempt to turn hosting over to my sister without actually saying it. So now, I'm left with a choice, go along with my mom's plan and let my sister essentially hijack Thanksgiving, or keep pushing back and risk a family showdown. I just wanted a nice Thanksgiving with

dishes everyone would enjoy, but it seems like I'm either about to hand over the whole meal to her, or prepare for some serious drama. Thanksgiving isn't even here yet, and it already feels like a circus. I'm half tempted to just sit back and see what chaos unfolds, but part of me is still worried about subjecting the whole family to whatever artistic statement she has planned. Comments where OPE has replied, YFUV Bath 1984. I cannot figure out why you still haven't canceled hosting. If she wants to take over, let her do so in her own space. Why would you go through all those trouble to host your family when your sister is actively planning Saturday? I would have already bowed out.

Oop, honestly, I'm starting to feel the same way. At first, I thought I could manage the situation by setting boundaries, but it's pretty clear my sister is determined to turn Thanksgiving into her personal stage, no matter what I do. At this point, it's not even about the food, it's about the sheer amount of effort I'm putting in just to have it overshadowed by her artistic vision. Bowing out does sound tempting, and I'm seriously considering it. Letting her host would give her the spotlight she clearly wants, and I wouldn't have to deal with the stress of trying to balance everyone's feelings.

I guess I've just been holding out because I love hosting and didn't want to let her take that away from me. But maybe it's time to throw in the towel and let her take the reins. In her own house. You're definitely giving me something to think about. Thanks. Too complex, just let her do it and don't cook a damn thing. Oh, and eat before anyone shows up. Oop, ha-ha, that would be one way to handle it, right?

Just let her have her Thanksgiving head chef moment and show up with a full stomach. No stress, and zero cooking on my part. I'm honestly so tempted to go this route, if she wants the spotlight that badly, I might as well let her handle everything and watch the chaos unfold from the sidelines. It might even be kind of satisfying to see her realize how much go. into hosting, especially if her creations don't quite go over as she hopes. Thanks for the idea. This might just be the perfect hands-off Thanksgiving. Update 3, November 27, 2024. Here we are, the day before Thanksgiving, and things have continued to spiral. I decided to let my sister move

forward with her trio experience since pushing back more would only make things worse. I thought we had a plan, she'd bring her dishes, and I'd make sure there were plenty of other options to keep the peace. This morning, my mom let me know that my sister is now adding a surprise dish to her contributions. She's been very secretive about what it is, which is everyone nervous after her past attempts. My mom thinks it's sweet that my sister is putting in so much effort, but a few other family members are not as optimistic. My cousin texted me privately asking if I had backup food ready, and my dad casually mentioned bringing extra roles just in case. At this point, I've decided to stick with the plan and let her have her moment.

I'll still have a few traditional dishes on hand so no one goes hungry. Tomorrow will probably be chaotic, but it should at least make for a memorable holiday. Wish me luck, I'll update after Thanksgiving if anything noteworthy happens. Final update, November 28, 2024. Thanksgiving dinner is officially over, and I genuinely don't know where to start. I feel like I just lived through a fever dream of culinary chaos and family drama, and I need a moment to breathe before I can even process everything. My cousin and I are heading out for drinks to dissect all of it because honestly,

what just happened deserves its own Netflix special. I'll post photos later when I get home, but for now, let me try to give you the rundown. So, my sister showed up earlier than expected, which I should have seen coming. She came in like a storm, carrying not just her three dishes but also this giant platter wrapped in foil, which she was clearly trying to make a big deal about. She immediately started rearranging the table, moving my dishes to the side so hers could take center stage. She even brought her own table runner and candles, saying something about setting the mood

for a creative dining experience. I decided not to fight her on it because, at this point, I just wanted to get through the night without a blow-up. Her trio experience was, Well, let's just say it was everything I feared and more. She started with a glittery sweet potato mash that somehow managed to taste like a mix of sugar and sand. The glitter wasn't even edible glitter, it was craft glitter, which I didn't realize until one of the kids said, this is crunchy, and I looked closer. Then there was the cranberry and oyster relish.

Yes, oysters and cranberries. It looked like someone had spilled jam into clam chowder, and the smell alone was enough to make me lose my appetite. Finally, she brought a pumpkin curry casserole that had raisins in it for some reason and this weird fishy smell that clung to the air for way too long. But the piece to resistance was her surprise centerpiece dish, which turned out to be a turkey gelatin mold. Yes, she took ground turkey,

mixed it with some kind of broth and seasonings, and turned it into a wobbly, translucent mold shaped like a turkey. She even garnished it with parsley and cherry tomatoes to make it festive. I wish I were kidding. The entire table went silent when she unveiled it, except for my cousin,

who immediately started coughing to cover up what I'm pretty sure was a laugh. Things hit their peak when my mom, who has been defending her this entire time, took one bite of the gelatin mold and just, froze. She didn't say anything, but you could see the regret on her face. My sister, noticing the lack of enthusiasm, decided to go on this long speech about how Thanksgiving food is too boring and how she's trying to challenge our palettes. She even called my ham and mashed potatoes uninspired, which was rich coming from someone

serving glitter sand potatoes. The breaking point came when my end. who's usually the peacekeeper, tried the gelatin mold and actually gagged. She tried to be polite about it, but my sister saw her reaction and completely lost it. She started yelling about how nobody in the family supports her and how we're all stuck in the past with our unoriginal food. She even accused me of sabotaging her dishes by not hyping them up enough to everyone. At this point, half the table was trying not to laugh, and the other half was just staring

at their plates, probably wondering how we got here. My sister ended up storming out of the house, but not before saying something along the lines of, you'll regret not appreciating my vision when I'm famous. She left most of her food behind, which my cousin and I quietly threw out after dinner. The rest of the night actually turned out pretty nice once the tension was gone. My dad's emergency ham was a lifesaver, and everyone agreed that next year, we're either going to a restaurant or just skipping Thanksgiving altogether. So now I'm sitting here wondering how this even became my life. I'll post photos later because you all need to see the turkey gelatin mold to believe it, but for now, I'm off to grab a drink, or three, with my cousin to laugh slash cry over everything

that went down. This Thanksgiving was truly something else, and I don't know whether to feel relieved it's over or brace myself for whatever fresh chaos my sister has planned for next year. Stay tuned for photos, it's going to be worth it. Next story, gave my daughter $50,000 because she had to pay her own college while her siblings got $100,000 each. Now my middle daughter demands the same amount for her wedding and won't talk to us. So I 50M have three kids, Sarah 35F, Jessica 25F, and Ben 23M. My wife and I had Sarah when we were both 16. It wasn't easy, but with both our parents' support, we could finish college while we raised her.

When it was time for her to go to college, we didn't have the money to help her. So she took out loans and paid for them herself. We learned from our mistakes and started saving for her siblings, Jessica and Ben, who got around a 100K college fund and had no debt. Through all of this, Sarah never complained. She finished her education, got a fantastic job. and could repay the loans in just three years while staying with us to save as much as possible. She has also helped us a lot with babysitting her younger siblings and has always been selfless and helped out in any way she could, maybe even to a fault.

So when she told me five years ago, she was getting married, I talked to my wife and told her how bad I felt. We never did anything for her and that I wanted to give her the inheritance I got for my grandmother, which was around 50K to help pay for her wedding and down payment on the house. Luckily, my wife agreed, and even though she didn't really need it, I know it meant a lot to her. The issue is this, Jessica is getting married next year and had assumed we would plan a similar gift for her. She was quite surprised when I told her that we never discuss such plans, and even if we wanted to, we didn't have the budget for it. She told us it wasn't fair that we paid for her sister, would not do the same for her. I tried to explain the situation, telling her that in the long run,

we spend twice as much on her and her brother as we ever did on Sarah. However, she insisted that Sarah was already well off, noting that Sarah and her husband had paid off their house and were doing extremely well financially. I told her that this had nothing to do with how much money her sister had. This was us finally being able to do something for our oldest child, who had to sacrifice so much because we had her at such a young age. She didn't take it well, left angry, and won't speak to us. My wife thinks we should maybe take out a small loan and give her the money because she isn't used to not talking to her kids and is sad she is being left out of the wedding

preparations. She is even afraid of us not getting invited to the wedding. But I have put my foot down and won't budge because she is not entitled to our money. Now even Sarah is saying that this is getting out of hand and even offered to help pay me. half the money. But personally, I'm at a point where I'd rather burn the 50k than give it to her. Sarah and my wife think that this is not worth destroying our family over, but I think that giving in will only make her more entitled in the long run. Update, November 24, 2024. Thank you all for the fantastic comments and personal messages from my last post. After reading the

comments, I felt even more convinced that I was in the right, so I sat down with my wife talk. Following many of your suggestions, I showed her the post and asked her to read it. She wasn't happy, especially when she saw how many people had read it, but she was also really curious. This has been on her mind a lot lately, and she wanted to know what all of you were thinking. She had a few issues with my comments. She believes that when I said I would rather burn the money, it indicates I need to change my approach to problem solving. While it might be easy for people the internet to suggest that parents cut off contact with their child, she is not ready to lose her little girl. Additionally, she thinks my statement about doing my duty and wanting to take

care of myself comes across as selfish and is not something a parent should say. She believes there is a reasonable compromise. Instead of giving her the full 50k, we can offer her half for the wedding. This way, we can cover most of the expenses from our savings, borrow the rest from Sarah if needed, and paid her back within a year. I told her right away that I was not going to do that. I told her that we could separate our finances and that she could return to work full-time to help Jessica pay for the wedding. However, I made it clear that I was done. As selfish as it may seem, I don't feel obligated to Jessica anymore, and I want to enjoy my life while I still can. She replied, as she always does, that I am stubborn, and she would take that step if it meant keeping the

family together. I told her it was fine but not to come to me complaining about her health when she went back to work full-time. A couple of days ago, she came to me and said that she agreed with my proposal. We made a plan to open a joint bank account where we would deposit our monthly expenses. After that, we can each use our personal money however we like. We decided on an amount to keep in our savings account for emergencies and agreed to split the remaining funds 50 to 50. I even agreed to cover 60% of the money needed for our joint expenses. This is the first time we will have more than one bank account, so I'm a bit nervous about how it will turn out.

I also believe she mentioned talking to her boss about working more hours, but I want to avoid getting involved in that discussion. I spoke with Sarah and expressed my concerns about giving Jessica any money, which I believe is a bad idea. However, Sarah insists that she wants to help. She mentioned that while she agrees with my viewpoint, she doesn't want their mom to return to work full-time. She clarified that her decision to help was aimed at supporting their mom, not Jessica. I told her that it was her money and she could do as she pleased, but like her mom, I wouldn't

involve myself in the situation any further. Right before I wrote this post, I sent an email to Jessica expressing my feelings for her. I clarified where I stood and mentioned that she could decide how involved. I would be in her wedding. I don't expect a reply, but now I'll have to wait and see what happens. Comments where Op has replied. Op added this info in the comments. I forgot to mention this in my post, but part of our agreement is that she should not take out any loans with interest. If she decides to borrow money from friends or family, that's her choice, but I want to avoid having another bank loan under my name. However, I am confident that she

won't need to borrow much if she only gives 25K for the wedding, especially since it appears that Sarah is planning to cover half of that amount. Which again, I still think is a bad idea. Commenter, you know these three are making a mess you will have to clean up. Ideally you would nope out, but 50k in debt. This has so much potential to go sideways for you it's almost a guarantee. For example, since op isn't involved in this, we can use more than 50K. What happens if your wife can't work? What if she pays on the loan but only has 10% of the monthly bills? What if she resents you for this? Will you actually die on this hill and divorce? If not, you may as well go to the bank. Involving Sarah and this is a shitty thing for her to do. Your wife seems to believe she has a

separate financial life. That's just not true. I don't know, I could write a 30k word report on this. Half would be petty BS but the other half involves creditors. That said, I do hope this settles things. NTA op, it's not 50K. I realize now that I didn't explain something clearly. My wife wants to pay 25K for the wedding, which she and Sarah have agreed to split. She believes this is a a reasonable compromise, but I disagree with her. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner of half a year erupted in anger when I didn't include him in my close friend's marriage celebration, accused me of infidelity, attempted to physically restrain me, and had his companion insult me. I, 25F, have been seeing my now boyfriend, 27M, who will call Joe,

for about six months now. We made it official three months into dating, so I like to say he's only officially been my boyfriend for three months. My best friend, who will call Anne, is getting married next month. I'm one of her bridesmaids. It's a small destination wedding, only about 40 close friends the bridal party is set to arrive about four days before the actual wedding to do bachelor slash bachelorette stuff. The issue came up yesterday morning when my boyfriend started asking what time my flight was for the wedding week. I didn't think much of it and told him. He came to him. He came up. He came up. He He came back about ten minutes later and said he'd have to go on a different flight because he couldn't find one on the same airline or at the same time.

I didn't understand why he was looking at flights. I asked him if he was planning on going on a solo or guy's trip while I was gone since I wouldn't be around. He looked confused and then said he was looking for flights for the wedding. I then proceeded to tell him, trying to be as gentle as possible, that I wasn't planning on a plus one and the guest list was already finalized. He has only ever met an over-face time since she lives in a different state from us. After telling him, he exploded at me.

Honestly, it was a total 180 from his usual behavior. He said it was insensitive of me to not ask for A plus one because we've been together for so long now. That I was purposefully excluding him and trying to keep him a secret. He ranted and talked in a circle and I just sat there in shock. What snapped me out of the days was when he insinuated that I would likely cheat with one of the grooms men. That's when I got up, got my shit, and started walking out of his place. He freaked out even more and said we needed to talk about this and I couldn't walk out on him. He tried to grab me twice, but I shoved him off.

Since I last night, I haven't spoken to him. He's been blowing up my phone with calls and texts that I don't reply to. Even put him on Do Not Disturb because it was so annoying. I was pretty solid in believing I wasn't T.A. But one of his best friends got my number and texted me I was being petty and a female dog about everything. That I lead Joe on for six months. I haven't talked to anyone about this since I wanted to cool down before I got a second opinion. But now that his friend is texting men, I feel like I handled it all poorly.

I know I need space right now, but I don't want to ghost Joe. which his friend implied I'm now doing. So I've come here to get some unbiased opinions. Fellow Redditors, I asked you now if I am TA for not having my boyfriend be a plus one to my best friend's wedding. Edit, to clarify, we don't live together. I just spend the night at his place sometimes. Edit two, in our last conversation last night I texted him that I needed some space to breathe to which he then just kept calling in texting. Edit 3, because people keep acting like Joe is a secret, he has met my other friends.

He hasn't met an in-person because she lives in a different state. Across the country to be exact. They've only met through FaceTime. I've met his parents and friends. He hasn't met mine because they moved back to Mexico two years ago. He has met them over FaceTime. Edit 4, his friend saying lead him on was leading him to believe he was invited comments.

Oop to multiple comments on why she is not having her boyfriend as her plus one to the wedding. Oop, I accepted the wedding invite long before we met. This wedding invite didn't just recently happen. Plus main reason for why I never asked for a plus one is because Joe and I had only just started seeing each other when the wedding was being planned. A lot went into it because it's a destination wedding in Europe plus I'm not meaning to dismiss it. I'm pointing out that's why I'm not having to do.

having a plus one unlike the other groomsmen and bridesmaids. They have been with their partners for years and personally no end. Joe has only ever met her over FaceTime Plus also there's a lot more than just buying a ticket. I said earlier that this wedding was planned months before we met. And planned a lot of things for this wedding that are catered to the fact there's a limited guest list. Again. I would have been fine to explain all this but again. I never got a chance to plus this.

wedding wasn't a secret. He was even aware of it when we first started seeing each other because I'd just done dress shopping. Again. This wedding was very planned out because it is indeed very small and private in France. He's also met Anne and her fiancé over FaceTime. Not in person because she's in a different state. He's met my other friends as well. He hasn't met my parents because they live in a different country. Chibi underscore Beaver NTA. I don't think three months is a long enough time frame

to include someone as a plus one to a wedding, especially one with such a small guest list. If it was a wedding close by that's different, but destination weddings objectively take more planning and throwing and a last-minute guest might irritate the bride and groom. His reaction is definitely a massive red flag, although I do think you should have discussed this with him beforehand, and explained the reasoning.

Country Boy 1101. From what you wrote above I would say NTA. Since it has only been six months of dating, I expect that you were just started dating when the wedding invites came out and the RSVP was made that you were a party of one. If his name was not on the original wedding invite and you did not ask for him to be added, then he is not invited to the wedding.

I would say his reaction would be a huge red flag for me and am accusing you of using this away time to cheat would be deal breaker for me after only six months. I would call him and tell him that his reaction was a deal breaker, and it would be best to end the relationship now and move on. Update, the general consensus was that I wasn't TA. Unfortunately the original post got taken down on the main IDA sub but is still up on the other. Still posting the update on both though. Some of y'all had some stuff to say about me saying I need help communicating because I shouldn't have walked out. Have your opinions, but never let someone scream at you and just sit there and take it.

I'm realizing that's emotional abuse. About why I never pushed to have a plus one. When the wedding planning was starting, Joe and I had not met. By the time we met and made things official, the wedding planning was finalized. I never hid the wedding from Joe or the fact it was very small. Someone said most normal people plan on bringing their sow to a wedding. Maybe that's true. But never automatically assume that since your so is invited to something, you'll be going too. The wedding was heavily pre-planned because again, it's a destination wedding. And is originally from France and primary reason why it's a destination wedding.

I talked to and about this shortly after posting and she agreed that I'm not T.A. She said if the roles were reversed, she'd never expect her so of less than a year be invited to an important event. So, on Friday, I texted Joe asking to meet up Saturday morning to have a discussion about everything. This morning he tried to get us to meet at my place, but instead, I got him to agree to meet at a local cafe. A lot of you brought up how he tried to grab me and that's a big sign that he could get more physical in the future. I didn't want anything to be left to chance. He got there early and tried to hug me, which I didn't allow. I got the ick at the thought of him hugging me.

We did a bit of small talk but got pretty much to the point once we sat down. He did apologize for blowing up but in the same breath said I shouldn't have left. I countered that he shouldn't have tried to physically stop me from leaving, twice. He said what else was he supposed to do? That set the tone for the whole conversation. He went on to say me just walking away was a clear indication that I didn't respect him. I then pointed out that he was not letting me explain why he wasn't invited. This is when we started talking in circles.

I told him how the wedding was being planned long before we met. How by the time we mutually agreed to be exclusive, they had everything finalized, especially the guest list. He said I should have asked for and to change it anyway. I asked him if I ever gave him the impression he'd be a attending. He was silent for a while and then admitted he just assumed that since he was now my boyfriend, I would have told and to invite me. I told him then wouldn't I have said something if he was invited in the past three months. I realized that we weren't getting anywhere. I told

him I wanted to break up. To paraphrase, I said something along the lines of. I understand you were hurt that I didn't invite you. I am sorry that we didn't have a clearer conversation. I do wish that we could have had a calmer conversation. However, I don't feel safe in this relationship because of how you reacted. I don't think this relationship is good for either of us if you feel betrayed and I feel unsafe. He didn't take that well. Joe's response was if we broke up, I wasn't getting my stuff back. I told them I didn't care.

Because honestly, if he wants to keep some of my underwear and use toothbrush, okay. I then asked him to not have his friends text me too. He then went from pleading to have another chance to accusing me of never wanting him. I just stood up, told him I wished him the best, and left. Ended up going for a two-hour run when I got home because I still felt stressed. Blocked his number, his friends, blocked his Instagram, deleted the pictures of us on my feed. Changed my Facebook status to single. Had a cry and have been watching me.

Netflix since. Something I learned from this your first fight with your partner tells you everything about them. Our first fight told me Joe was explosive. Maybe if he hadn't blown up, we would still be together. Not going to dwell on it though. I know it's good I got out while you can because as a lot of you pointed out, the fact he kept trying to overpower me twice as a lot. I'm honestly glad I broke it off. As some of you said, it took him six months to show his true colors. Can't imagine if he did come and then a year later, I find out he's like this and have to look at wedding photos with a guy who is fine blowing up. I'm going to stay single for a while now. I have a wedding to look forward to.

My focus is on supporting Anne and making sure she has the best wedding ever. I may update when the wedding happens to let you guys know how it goes and if Joe tried anything else. Thank you again to everyone for their opinions. Comments, patch and, don't forget to always see who is at your door before you open it. Keep yourself safe. Good for you, darling. Have a wonderful time at the wedding. Congrats to Anne.

Hope they have a long marriage with no crazy. I'm dying RN-123-op. Thank you I do have a dog and a roommate so that's some extra security already. The roommate and I talked before about getting a ring camera but this experience and other comments have solidified us getting one. Beneficial knows 5447. I have to say I'm proud of you. And this is why I say this is what dating is for. This is the interview process and so as you is going along with it, you see me wasn't the candidate for you and you cut him loose.

Good for you. All the other people are going to say you know the naysayers listen they just want some. by their side to say they love them because they have no self-love or self-esteem for their internal selves. That's all their opinions and stuff lack of love and lack of self-esteem. Have fun at the wedding have a hookup if you want, but have fun. Adventurous underscore CHIP 9036 NTA Normal people don't blow up on their significant other because of an assumption.

Icing on the cake was him accusing you of playing him the whole time because you told him you felt unsafe. unsafe. I'd how to explain it but all I know is all signs point to him being a narcissistic manipulator. I get people losing their temper and I can be pretty forgiving, but one, trying to grab someone, no, and two, doubling down. That's when someone shows who they really are. We all have bad moments. It's how we react after those bad moments that makes us who we really are. This guy is a giant Red Flag. Ninja Baba Mama, and having his friends harass her through texts. Sun Moon Truth, calling her a female dog. She seems to have stumbled upon a nest of Incels. Waffles 0206. I had a destination wedding. My save the dates were sent out about

18 months in advance, invites a year in advance, and my guest list was fully finalized at least six months out as everyone who was attending had booked their flights. Two of my bridesmaids got into new relationships around a few months out from my wedding. They never asked me for a plus one and their partners never took issue with it. In fact, those two bridesmaids ended traveling for several weeks together after the wedding. Sorry but destination weddings take time to plan, people can't just decide to attend last minute. Upp totally did the right thing, he was a walking red flag with his reaction. Additional meeting underscore 2, there is a reason why only married couples always have to be

invited and engaged couples if they have been for a while. It's really hard to keep up with other people's relationships and people often break up or start dating between sending invites and the wedding. I mean these days it's more blurred because people live together before marriage long times. and some just have money and can give plus ones to everyone. But not everyone needs a invite because they are dating. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Hired a private investigator and caught my fiancé cheating with her boss weeks before our over-budget

dream wedding, so I got her fired and dodged a financial bullet. When I, 27 male, met my fiancé, 25 female, for years ago, I knew right away that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She was everything that I had been looking for. We'd only been dating for a year when I proposed. We've been engaged for three years. The long engagement has caused some trouble for us. One of the biggest issues is that she wanted to plan her dream wedding, which subsequently would cost us quite a bit of money. I've never been one to care about superficial things like that. I would be more than happy going to the courthouse, signing some papers, then spending all of the wedding money on our honeymoon.

However, she had always dreamt of her big day and she wanted a big wedding with no compromise. It felt like every other week the budget we set aside for the wedding had increased or she was telling me that she had gone over and was apologizing for it. At some point, I noticed that her apologies were meaningless because she continued to go over. We were getting into a lot of arguments and there was a bit of resentment brewing between us. I'd had enough of her constant disregard for the financial constraints of the wedding, so I sat her down intending to have a calm, reasonable conversation with her. She was immediately very defensive and told me that she wasn't sure if she could be with someone who was controlling. I was upset that she had accused me of being controlling when all I was doing was standing up for myself when she was taking advantage of me.

After the fight, she ended up leaving and staying at her friend's house for a week while we figured things out. Honestly, I thought it might have been the end for us. I was heartbroken. She was my dream girl and I cared so much about her. She eventually came back and we had a long discussion about the wedding. We both agreed that we still wanted to be together, but we needed to set some boundaries. We also agreed that we would move forward with what we had for the wedding and halt all further planning. That was the only compromise on the issue I would allow since we were already over budget by 50%

and had 150 people invited. We fell back into our old patterns with each other, and it seemed like our temporary break in discussion actually helped our relationship. The wedding was only a few months away and we were doing well. As we got closer to the wedding date, some of the stressors started to come back for us. My fiancé's coping mechanism with the stress was to throw herself into her work. She's a graphic designer and very creatively inclined, so it helped alleviate the stress. So, instead of being home with me, she was at work.

She started spending more and more time at work. It felt avoidant, which was unlike her. I was curious about why she was there so much, so I asked her one night when she came home. She just told me that it was a good way to escape and forget about all of it. I didn't understand why she still wanted to go through with the huge wedding if it was stressing her out so much, but I didn't ask about that. same time, I noticed that she was wearing more makeup and more revealing clothes to work. I had nothing against her dressing in a way that she felt confident.

But she normally wore long pants, boots, and sweaters to work because she was always complaining about how cold she was while she was there. Suddenly she was wearing sleeveless blouses showing cleavage and skirts. It was odd. I tried not to worry about it, but honestly, I've seen a ton of those in my The Jerk videos and stories exposing cheaters. So a lot of the things she was doing were raising red flags for me. I needed to find out if something was going on before the wedding. I didn't want to be married to her and then find out she was with an ex or something after we were legally attached.

I did some snooping on my own, but didn't find anything. One thing I've always known about liars is that they're good at hiding their lies. So, I justified hiring a private investigator to follow her. I reached out to someone who specializes in infidelity and they agreed to take the case. I could only afford to pay them for a few days because the wedding was depleting a lot of my savings. The first day, they didn't find anything. She went to work and went home with no issue. I thought that maybe I was overreacting, but my gut told me not to call the private investigator off. The next day, I was glad I trusted my gut.

My fiancé texted me about midway through the day that she would be staying late at the office. She said that she was helping a coworker with some excess work they had before a due date. However, the evidence the private investigator brought back to me told a different story. They emailed me over a file with videos and pictures of my girlfriend with her boss in his office. They were having sex right on his desk, while other employees were in the office. I just remember staring at the computer screen until it turned itself off. I was so shocked by what I saw. When I collected myself, I started to think about my options.

There was absolutely no chance I was going through with the wedding. But I needed to figure out how to end it. I wanted a little revenge on her for cheating on me. An idea hit me, so before I acted on it I packed up some of my stuff and texted my brother to see if I could stay with him. When I got to his house, I drafted an email to our entire wedding guest list. In the email, I told them all it was cancelled and attached the evidence of my fiancé's affair. Surprisingly, I got several responses back from relatives, co-workers, and friends about it. What surprised me the most, which I didn't even realize at the time, was that my fiancé's hour manager was on the list.

She reached out to me and asked about details because it was something she was obligatory. to act on because it was clearly on company property. I told her everything I knew. My fiancé figured out I was with my brother and came to his house, banging on the door. She was fuming at me, but I stood my ground and ended it. I told her I was contacting the venue, vendors, and everyone else involved in the wedding and having all of my money refunded to me. I felt bad when she was crying in front of me, but then I remembered how she cheated on me and I didn't

anymore. She and her boss were both fired for their inappropriate relations on the job. She tried to call me and tell me that I was still obligated to pay for the apartment even though I didn't live there, but I managed to work something out with the apartment complex to pay for one month and get off the lease. I think they were just willing to work with me because of the situation. My now ex-fiancee was forced to move out because she lost her job and couldn't afford rent on her own because she dumped what little she had in savings into a wedding that never happened. I hope you enjoy this story. Former spouse's companion desired the jewelry I inherited from my deceased grandmother, which was intended for our daughter. She repeatedly requested

to borrow it. I, a 40-year-old woman and my former partner, whom will refer to as John, a 41-year-old man, were high school sweethearts. Sweethearts started dating when we were 17, married at 19, and divorced 20 years later, so going on two years now. We have an amazing daughter, Sarah who is eight, and has adjusted really well to the separation. Joe and I get along great, the divorce was amicable and we're still good friends. Not like we hang out alone or anything, but we don't argue or fuss at each other, help each other out, and just over all have each other's backs because at the end of the day, our number one priority will always be Sarah and doing what is best for her. We've both moved on and are in serious long-term relationships with other people.

His girlfriend, Lily, 46F, is great and really good for him. I have never had any conflict with her and enjoy spending time with her when we all get together for holidays and other important events or celebrations. Until last week, Joe's parents passed away within a month of each other last summer and it was devastating for all of us. Even though Joe and I had already been divorced for about a year, they still treated me like family and I loved them dearly. Joe and Lily hadn't started dating yet so she never met them which is a shame, they were incredible people. Long story to get to the point, but I feel like the background is important.

Last week Sarah got a box in the mail from her aunt who was responsible for dividing up my late mother-in-law's jewelry amongst the kids and grandkids. She had a huge collection of both costume and more expensive fine jewelry. I let Joe know about it and he explained that some of it was left to me so when he would come over and we sort through it together. Lily came with him which was fine, it was extremely difficult and we were both very emotional so I'm glad she was there to support him. Here's where I think I may be the asshole. As we were going through the jewelry, we had pulled out a couple of cheaper pieces of costume jewelry for Sarah to have now and I had picked out. a couple of rings, a necklace, and three pairs of earrings to keep knowing that they will eventually go to Sarah as well. Joe and I agreed that the rest of it would be put away in the lockbox

that we each have a key to at my house and would stay there until Sarah is older and it goes to her. One of the pieces being put away is a beautiful set of ruby and diamond earrings and necklace that are obviously very real and we believe were passed down from Joe's grandmother. Lily had been admiring the set and making comments about how well it would go with the wedding dress she had been looking at. They aren't engaged, or even with some of her date-night outfits. Joe didn't say anything to her in response, and when she put them down, I wrapped them back up and put them along with the rest of the jewelry in the lockbox. Since then, Lily has texted me multiple times asking about them and if she can just borrow them. At one point she accused

me of just wanting them for myself and pointed out that Joe and I were divorced and I didn't have any right to keep them. She has also said that when they get married, the jewelry will legally be part of their marital assets anyway, so I'm just putting off the inevitable. I'm not planning on wearing them. Per my agreement with Joe, I'll wear the pieces I picked out and the rest will stay put away for Sarah. I have zero intention of taking any of it out unless it's necessary and even then, I'll let Joe know what's going on with it. Joe's has been radio silent and I haven't said anything because I don't want to cause any conflict that could have an impact on Sarah. So am I the asshole for not giving in and letting Lily have some of the jewelry meant for my daughter?

Relevant comments that OP answered. Novel Sprinkles 3333. She is a pushy thing, isn't she? It is a big red flag, and I hope your ex sees it as such. The greed is really disgusting. Oop, it's just so bizarre that this is happening now. She's been amazing since they started dating and has been great at taking things slowly with Sarah and building a relationship with both her and I. It's been nothing but green flags up to now and I was so happy that he found someone that seems so good for him and that makes him so happy.

I don't want to cause issues between them but this is definitely concerning and if it's her true color showing, she isn't someone I want around my daughter. Big Stash Dad, it might be telling that Joe has been radio silent during this back and forth with Lily. He may just not want to get involved in it or knows that the jewelry was willed to Sarah. The fact that Lily said it would be great to wear at her wedding and will be marital assets when she and Joe get married is delusional. She and Joe aren't even engaged. Unless I missed something in the story, doesn't all the jewelry legally belong to Sarah? Boop, I know they've talked about marriage but there hasn't been any kind of proposal or anything beyond that. Prior to this happening, I was thrilled over the idea of them getting married.

Lily has been great for my ex and for Sarah up until now. I'm pretty upset that she may be showing her true colors now and I hope that's not the case. The jewelry was left to Sarah with the notation that I could choose what I wanted from it because Mill had specified that I could choose anything I wanted as long as they will eventually end up with Sarah. There's zero possibility of it not going to her either when I pass or before if she wants it when she's older. She's my only child and will eventually inherit all of my assets. Oop on if Joe and Lily are engaged, married, or neither. Oop, no, not engaged. Marriage has been discussed between them but that's as far as it's gone. I was excited about the prospect until all of this. I'm glad it's not just me

being weird about this. It's not like she was asking about a piece of costume jewelry that doesn't have quite as much sentimental value but about family heirloom pieces that have been passed down. Sarah is too young right now to really appreciate all of that but she had a very good relationship with her grandmother, even after the divorce we face-timed weekly, and I know how much it will mean to her to have when she's older. Uppon who has legal rights to the jewelry and how does Upp and Joe's roles play in this when the jewelry is placed in the safe. Boop, the jewelry was left to Sarah and I. I was allowed to pick what I wanted from what was sent because there's no question that it will be left to Sarah when I pass, or given to her before then once she's older.

I don't have any other kids or stepkids so Sarah will inherit all of my assets in the future including the pieces that Mill left to me, since it was his mom's, I felt like it was right for him to be there when I sorted through it. If there had been anything that he wanted to keep with him, I wouldn't have objected at all because while my mill and I were close and it does belong to Sarah now, that was his mom. He and his parents had an amazing relationship and I would never have said he couldn't have something of hers as long as we stuck to the agreement that everything eventually goes to Sarah since that's who it's all intended to go to. I was trying to do the right thing since we are still friends and I know how hard it was for him to lose his parents. At the time I was genuinely thankful that Lily was there for emotional support because it was so hard to see pieces that my Mill wore frequently and treasured. It was just that punch in the gut reminder that she's gone and how much she's missed. When his dad passed, Joe and his brother inherited a very large collection of firearms with instructions to divide it up amongst their other siblings and the grandchildren as they saw fit. Phil and I were close, although not as close as Mill and I were, so when the time came,

Joe asked me to pick out something from his share of the collection to keep as a reminder of his dad and with the understanding that it will eventually be given to Sarah. I need to call aunt that sent the jewelry and confirm but I suspect it was a similar set up. The jewelry was left to the girls to be divided up and distributed as they saw fit. Joe was told that it was being sent to Sarah and I but there was no mention of any of the jewelry being set aside for him or his brother specifically. Update, August 21st, 2024. So many of you asked for an update so here it is really quick.

I wrote this out yesterday and figured out that it was probably better to make a new post than edit the other one with it. So yeah, here's what's going on. Joe took an extended lunch yesterday and came by the house without Lily. I explained to him why I was reluctant to bring everything up, but I was tired of being harassed about the jewelry and that I feel strongly about it belonging to Sarah, not to either of us and certainly not to Lily. He agreed immediately and was shocked to find out that she had been asking about it

and then angry when I showed him the messages. I figured the best course of action was a face-to-face conversation with him and being able to hand him my phone so he could see the conversation for himself and there would be no way for her to accuse me of making it up or photoshopping anything. It sucked to see him so upset over it and I helped. a feeling that it's going to get worse because from what he was saying, it sounds like Lily won't be around much longer and regardless, she won't be allowed back in my home and won't be spending any time with Sarah alone if he doesn't break up with her. I did also go first thing yesterday morning

and open a safe deposit box at one of the local banks. It's not the one I normally do business with and as of right now, my name is the only one on it and I have the only key. I was worried about the possibility of Lily having any kind of access to the jewelry with it being in the house and until all of that is resolved, I feel better knowing that there's no way for her to get to it. Joe and I also discussed this when he came over and he said that he agrees completely that it's the best course of action to safeguard Sarah's inheritance. All but one of the pieces I picked out also went in and as much as I would love to have a couple of the other pieces to wear in remembrance of her on the really hard days, I would rather

know it's safe and I still have the one piece that brings me so much comfort. All kinds of notarized documents will be on their way to me and should be here by the end of the week when I have a meeting set up with a lawyer to determine what else needs to be done to ensure that the jewelry will go to Sarah without any issues or challenges. I spoke to the aunt that sent everything over the weekend after I posted this and got so much good advice, thank you all, and requested she sent copies of everything pertaining to it along with documentation from her as the executor of what was sent to who, etc. I didn't tell her about the issues with Lily,

I don't think that's my place and I'll let Joe deal with telling his family or not as he sees fit. I have an appointment later today with a GIA certified appraiser, so I should be able to take all of that with me to the lawyer as well as the pictures and video that I took of each piece last night. I'm still leaning towards a trust as the best way to make sure Sarah's interests and assets are protected, but we'll see what the lawyer says and go from there. I feel terrible for Joe. He's a great guy and even though our marriage didn't work out,

I still care about him and always will. He's not just my child's father but also one of my best friends and I want him to find someone to be what that loves him the way he deserves to be loved. It's just that whoever that is needs to understand that Sarah is always going to come first and he and I will always work as a team to make sure that she's happy, healthy, and successful in life, our relationships with each other and other people aren't going to hinder her in any way. Thank you to everyone that commented and offered so much good advice and support. I really do appreciate all of it more than I can tell you.

I didn't expect this to blow up the way it did and it's really overwhelming to be honest. I probably won't update any more or add anything else to this so thank you again. Now on to the next story. Story 2 Wife's real estate job led to wild parties and late nights. I later found out flirty texts with other men on her phone. My wife, F-35, and I, M-40, have been married for 10 years and we really do have an amazing relationship. We have two beautiful kids, a nice home, I own my own business and things are great.

We have a great sex life and social life outside of our family life with kids. My wife, after years in various parts of the industry, got her real estate license about four years ago. It was something to fill time, keep busy and make a little extra income. The company that she's been with for the last two or three years, has a real emphasis on social networking events and it has caused a rift between us. I have attended one or two of these events and I've left them all with a troubling feeling. I would say nine out of the ten people I met rubbed me the wrong way. Many of them are very self-absorbed, could only talk about themselves and their success and are very flirtatious with my wife. To be fair, she is incredibly attractive but approachable and friendly.

The last few events that my wife has attended, resulted in her coming home late and involved excessive drinking. There are two things that really bother me about it, I feel that her professional relationships with men at her company have become more social than professional and these networking events seem more like an excuse to go and hang out. with other guys while many of them are married I don't trust their intentions. Last week, my wife attended an event and we agreed she would be back by 12. I even went out of my way to make a point of asking her to be responsible and to limit the amount that she drinks. Well, 2 a.m. rolled around and there was no sign of her. She wouldn't respond to text messages. I could see she was still in the general area of the event which was over an hour from our house finally after calling a few times, she would be.

She answered I could tell she was, extremely drunk she told me she was staying at a hotel with one of her girlfriends and I had to quickly remind her that I had to be up at 4.30 a.m. to get ready for work. Long story short, she took an Uber to the train and ended up driving her car home drunk. As if this wasn't bad enough, I noticed on her phone, she had very flirtatious text messages with multiple married and single men. I've really had enough of this career choice, she doesn't seem responsible enough to attend these events. and it is causing a big divide between the two of us. I'm really at a loss for what my next step should be. There was a similar situation to this a few months ago, and at that point, she had promised me she was going to control herself and be more responsible,

but it's pretty obvious she is not able to do that. Update, August 15, 2024. Hi everyone, I received many requests for an update on our situation. I also want to thank all of the people that had positive and positive and empathetic responses to my initial story. A lot has unfolded in the time since my wife's night out. After noticing the flirtatious text messages, I asked my wife to see her phone, I told her I wanted to see what else she had written. She gave me access to her phone and upon doing a deeper dive, I saw that the flirtatious messages went far beyond anything I would have expected. The man she was

messaging had recently broken up with his girlfriend, and my wife's response to him was that things aren't going well in our marriage. I also found out that while we were on vacation in the area he lives, she went to the gym and met this man there to work out. This news was devastating to me, not only was I disgusted to find out that she met with him behind my back, but I was blindsided to see she mentioned to him we were probably heading towards divorce. We had a difficult week after that, she was ashamed of her actions. The drinking, the messages to this man and the meetup. She described that she feels like I hate her which really hurt because I feel like I do everything I can to make her happy. She swore to me that nothing physical had happened.

After looking through the messages, I do believe her. It seems that she didn't find out that he and his girlfriend broke up until he texted her after the gym. He actually stated in the messages that while he is attracted to her, he didn't want to get in the way of our marriage and that he didn't want to be a distraction while she and I tried to work things out. I have to commend him for that, I told her that it was imperative that she confesses if anything physical had happened. I was willing to work through anything, but if I find out later down the road that she lied, then she would not get another chance. I also discussed the importance if anything happened for the sake of our health and our children's health that she would need to go get tested. She was also on her period while we were away so I'm confident there was no physical interaction.

She has been adamant that nothing happened but she knows what she did was wrong. She did agree to get tested to give me peace of mind and everything was negative. I had a few sessions with my therapist and she recommended a couple's therapist for us. She also mentioned that she believes my wife has some deeper trauma that she needs to work through. It's obvious that her judgment is off and that there may be some reason as to why she is acting out. Our first session with the couples therapist was very educational. She did a dive into our relationship from the beginning, the main reason that we sought out her help and laid out a treatment plan. Next week we will be starting individual sessions with her and then couples sessions following that.

We both know that there is a lot of work to do, but we are dedicated to making this work. I myself had a very unstable childhood due to my parents' divorce. When I made those vows to my wife, I fully intended to see them through and I believe she did as well. I feel very confident after speaking to both therapists that couples can heal, move beyond an act of infidelity and can come out even stronger than before. I owe it to myself, my wife and my children to do everything I can to commit to having a happy and healthy relationship. My wife is showing great remorse.

She said she doesn't know why she does these things but she knows it's worth. wrong and she wants to stop. She is seeking the necessary help and knows she has a lot of work to do. She's fully aware of the damage she has caused. She knows I've lost the ability to trust her in social settings and it's going to take a long time to earn that back. She has since ended any and all conversations with this guy. She has offered to quit her job. I'm not sure if that's going to help. I believe she does get a sense of purpose from it that she doesn't get at home. If she can't control herself at these work events, then I can't trust her to control herself anywhere. She had plans to go away for the yearly work retreat national meeting.

Later in the year, she has made the decision to cancel those plans. Relevant comments that O.P. answered. Froe underscore R. A. O.99. She's doing the right things on paper, but man, she met with another man with the intent to cheat, but it seems like it didn't happen only because the other guy has a conscience. She fed him the I'm getting divorced lies so he would sleep with her. Yikes. I would find this hard to overcome.

Find this guy and buy him a beer. She shouldn't stop working, but maybe she finds a job at another office to get away from the party culture of her current job. The outings after work and work trips should stop until further notice. She broke the trust and it's going to take years to fix. Any mention of her going to AA meetings? She shouldn't have a drop of alcohol either. Hoop, thank you. We are going to dive into the alcohol issue with the therapist.

It's something my therapist recommended, but when I brought it up to my wife, she was insulted that I said she has a drinking problem. My therapist said she's not ready to hear that for me and needs to deal with that professionally. As I mentioned in the first post, she doesn't drink and more often than not she can have one or two drinks and call it quits. There is no excuse for the binge drinking and I do believe she has a problem, so I'm taking it very seriously. I'm glad you're trying to work it out. The only thing I find long-term concerning in all this is that she said during an emotional affair that you two were heading towards divorce. That means she was planning for it until she got caught. I hope you all are able to make it through all this for the sake of you both and your kids.

Hoop, thank you. That was without question the most devastating part of the thing. the whole situation for me. Not that the other things weren't bad but to hear she felt so differently about our marriage than I did really hurt. She has told me that she doesn't want to divorce. She doesn't know why she said that. She reached out to this other guy the next day over the phone to tell him that it was wrong of her to say that, and it wasn't true. But we are working towards making sure we are not heading in that direction. Malivellant underscore Mangoes. So many marriages end up in shambles because the couple tried to stay together for the sake of the children.

It just doesn't work, dude, there are countless examples of this. Boop, and there are people who make an effort to correct course and have a successful and healthy marriage. What we have is worth fighting for and if it doesn't work and if there are other events that impact our marriage, then I can at least say I tried and I can move on. Even if we called it quits right after something like this, how could we possibly have an end? amicable divorce and healthy co-parenting situation for our kids. Malevolent underscore mangoes. Plenty of parents do.

Boop, I think it's more important to try to fix it. Do you want to be the person that had a successful divorce, successful marriage? If something else happens then there is nothing more lost than if I walk away now. My mom suffered from a drinking problem after a failed marriage and vicious divorce. Her fiancé walked out on her because he didn't want to deal with. with it so it was up to me to take on that responsibility in my early 20s she's since been sober and healthy. It troubles me to think what would have come if he took steps to stand by her and get her

the help she needed. I could have walked away from her and said good luck. I hope you enjoy this story. Favored offspring brothers received $370,000 from our guardians, while I received nothing. However, they continue to ridicule my modest wedding that I funded independently. Consequently, I eventually lost my temper with them. Family dinner. I, 27M, am the third of four siblings and have always felt like an afterthought. Laurie, 33 F, Chuck, 29M, and Jade, 25F, have always gotten the first and best for my parents and each other.

I get the leftovers if I'm lucky. I haven't gotten a birthday present from any of my siblings in about 10 years, but I still get asked to pitch in for group gifts for each of them every year. On Friday night we were having a family dinner and it honestly felt like every other sentence was a dig at me or a less than subtle brag by my siblings about something they had been given by my parents that I was denied. They talked about how nice almost all of our weddings were, but made sure to mention it was okay that my wife and I had a small Loki wedding.

And it was okay, we loved it. But they brushed over the fact that my parents paid for all of my siblings' weddings. But not mine. Because somehow they couldn't afford it. Because they were saving up for Jade's wedding. They brought up how little student loans they have. Because my parents helped them. All of them lived on campus at expensive four-year schools.

I lived at home and went first to a very prestigious, very hard to get into, watchmaking school. I got paid to attend this school. So I paid rent at home. My parents paid for my tools, and I appreciate the help. I really do, but they paid $121.50,000 each for my siblings. They gave me $7,000 for tools. But to them it's equal. When I went back to school on my own, I didn't ask for money and wasn't offered it.

When my brother went back to school, they covered everything without him even having to ask. There were many other small moments. Comments about cars and other lifestyle choices. But what made me snap was my brother and his wife mentioning their marriage being so great because they do things like spontaneous dates, like the one they had the prior Friday night. The Friday night where my parents called my wife and I last minute to cancel plans they had to eat dinner at our house because they had to watch Chuck's kids because of an emergency. Turns out that emergency was a dinner for Chuck and my sill at Texas Roadhouse.

I had spent hours making my grandpa's ziti and meatballs with homemade marinera because it's my mom's favorite. I wanted more than anything to scream at them but instead I got up and left without saying a word and my wife followed me. When my mom called me later to ask why I left, I just explained exactly why. I explained the favoritism, the unfairness, and the fact that it doesn't feel like they care of. about me. She didn't say much and I wasn't really looking for an explanation or an apology in the moment. I just felt like it was self-evident but if she really didn't see it, I'd spell it out. Evidently at least parts of what I said have been shared with my siblings because now Chuck and Lori are furious at me and saying I ruined dinner and my mom is upset that I am hurt. They say I'm

immature for keeping score Ida. Comments where O.P. has replied, commenter, NTA. Your siblings are keeping score as well. They use that score to belittle you every time they see you. Your parents, including your mom who is all of a sudden upset that you are hurt, have allowed that to happen. Your mom is only upset because you finally stood up for yourself and called them all out. Keep on keeping score, they certainly will. O.P., honestly on the phone she didn't seem agitated at all, but when I started explaining everything she just kind of got. Sad, I guess. She got real quiet and didn't say much.

Commenter, NTA. I don't know if this is the best solution. But, if I were you, I would write everything down just like you told us. Then send it to each one of my family members in a group chat. Then block them. I would move on from a relationship with them and love them from a distance. Sidebar, do you and all your siblings look exactly alike? O.P., Jade is adopted.

So no. But she has always been the baby and been treated as such anyway. My first draft had a lot more background, but it was way over the character limit. I look almost exactly like my paternal grandfather, I even have the same thing with my eyes where they were blue when I was born but have formed a brown ring around the outside as I've grown up. So there's almost no possibility that I'm not my father's son if that's what you're getting at. Jade is on my side incidentally, and she feels awful about the wedding thing, but she didn't find out about them not paying for my wedding until about six months ago, which is six months after her wedding. She assumed that they had paid for part of my house or something. Because verbally that had always been the deal.

But no. I got to pay for my own wedding and my parents never honored the long-standing agreement of we have money saved for each of you and you can either use it for a wedding or anything else you want as a wedding. gift when you get married. This is not Jade's fault. She didn't ask for any of this. She didn't even get to plan her own wedding, my mom and Lori did that. It was extravagant because mom and Lori wanted it to be extravagant. Jade and her husband mostly hang out with my wife and I when they are in town. That has been a pattern for a long time. Family gives her stuff she didn't ask for do I guess make up for her early childhood sucking, and it's often at the expense of me. But since she was like six, she'd always then share it back with me.

Jade and I are fine, she shouldn't have been responsible for policing the fairness of the adults in our lives. Commenter, have you straight out laid all this information in front of your family like you told us? Or have you personally been taking all this in yourself? I'm glad your sibling Jade is empathetic with you. Op, the Friday night phone call with my mom was the first time I laid more than one incident at a timeout for anyone. It's also the most thorough I've ever been about explaining any single incident because it's the first time I didn't get interrupted. We were on the phone for 1.5 hours and I was talking for most of it.

Commenter, you seem like an emotionally strong person. Sometimes when people know they can't get to you, they can't help but keep trying. Says more about them. Question if you weren't related would you even hang out with these people. You do get to choose your family, you know. Don't worry about rocking the boat, sail your own. Op, I definitely still hang out with Jade and her husband, as well as my grandparents. But my omah, dad's mom, already sees me more than anyone else in my immediate family and my pop-pop.

Mom's dad has spent more time with me than the other grandkid since I was a child. I have autism and he almost certainly would have been diagnosed had he been born today. We both need breaks from crowds and we have similar sensory issues so we bail on family gatherings to go play Bachi for as long as I can remember. Update 1, I don't know where the best place to put all this so I'm putting it here if that's okay. My first draft contained some of this info but I had to edit a lot to get down to the character limit. Some of this has been shared in other comments but I'm just consolidating in hoping. this is seen and answers questions. 1. There is no reason to believe I am not my father's child.

The list of genetic coincidences that would be necessary for that to be the case is long and not worth rehashing. He doesn't have any male relatives that could explain it either. He has one sibling, my aunt, and none of his cousins have ever been in his life, or even remotely local. I look just like my paternal grandfather. I always have. He doesn't. He died when my father was young, but by all accounts he was a good father and is remembered fondly. 2. My younger sister has been the beneficiary of many, if not most of the things my parents chose not to give to me, but she did not ask for any of that and has been one of the only people consistently trying to make it right. I mean for goodness sake she was trying to fix it when she was

six. She has definitely not seen everything, but what she has seen she has tried to correct. She is perhaps guilty of assuming the best of people and not asking questions, but she isn't heartless and getting angry at her isn't going to fix anything. We talked for a long time after I posted this. She had been told she was contributing to a birthday gift for me every year since at least 2018. She gave money to my older sister to buy my wife and I tickets to my favorite soccer team, and then when my wife and I inevitably posted about going to games she assumed one of the

games we went to each year was the gift she had been contributing money towards. There is a lot of backstory there, but the gist of it is Jade and I have always gotten along well, and Jade does not participate in singling me out negatively. She and her husband spend time with my wife and I frequently, usually just the four of us. Three. I was definitely favored by my maternal grandfather growing up, but it's not like I got extra gifts or anything. He and I just have very similar personalities and that showed at a young age. I am on the spectrum and I feel very strongly that were he my age he'd have been diagnosed as well. We both struggle mightily with a lot of sensory things, but loud crowds and being surrounded by a lot of disparate sources of noise, like, perhaps his loud Italian family, overwhelms both of us, so both of us hide for at least some portion of all family gatherings.

Over time we started hiding together by just leaving to play botchy or locking ourselves in the kitchen to cook. As an adult he has made comments that indicate he sees that I'm not being given as much and in the last two to three years he has definitely given more items to me than anyone else. Things he wants me specifically to have if slash when he passes and that he wants me to enjoy now. That was definitely a source of tension on Friday. He is quite wealthy and my older siblings are accusing me of trying to enrich myself based on inheritance. I have no clue what his plans are and I have not, and will never, ask. It's not my business, and he has always had a pathological need to make things even. Everyone gets the same number of boxes at Christmas, with as near as possible

the exact amount of money spent on each recipient, so I do not expect him to behave differently with his estate. I honestly expect that anything that doesn't go to charitable causes will be divided evenly, but I really think it's all going to charity. But where my older siblings see the monetary value of his record collection and view it as a financial windfall. I just see a beautiful collection of music I get to keep listening to, I'd never sell that. They feel that I am hoarding the antique watches he gave me. The most valuable of which is a 60s time X. Marlon. But again, Again, they just want me to sell them and divide the cash. First of all, they aren't valuable except in sentiment.

Second of all, Popup is very much still alive and only gave them to me because he knows I will repair the ones I like and wear them. Selling them would be extremely rude and entitled. They are angry that he gave me his first nice car. Because it does have nominal value even now, too old to be valuable as a reliable vehicle, not old or rare or desirable enough to be a collector's item. But to me it's a sentimental item. It was his Sunday car for years and while I've had to put a lot of work into keeping it running well, it's an excellent cosmetic condition.

My older siblings are contesting that actually I am the favored and the very measurable and extremely generous financial gifts given to them by my parents are somehow dwarfed by their emo very inflated, estimation of the financial value of the gifts my grandfather has given me recently. For, my paternal grandmother has openly favored me more and more as I've aged. Again, this is not financial and to my knowledge she isn't in a position to leave me an inheritance. Not that I'd even ask that of her. There is an old clock of hers made by a local clockmaker and housed in a handmade cabinet that I used to spend hours looking at when I was really young that she actually put multiple labels inside of as early as when I was five or six saying that it belongs to me.

But I didn't ask for that. I appreciate it. And I will gladly accept it if she still feels that way when the time comes. But I don't spend the time I spend with her as some sort of plot to steal her clock. I just like hanging out with my omah. She's a really funny lady, and she likes walking with my wife and I and our dogs. She stays with us in our house on holidays in lieu of staying in the guest house my parents had built for her. My siblings are under the impression that she has somehow supported me.

financially. Again, unless there is something I am not aware of, she is very much not in the position to do this. Five, my wife and I will be meeting with my parents at some point over the next week to talk. I do not know what to expect, but will be taking the time to write stuff down in preparation. I don't even know what I want from it, but I will be bringing up family therapy. Update 2, so, update time. About a week after that post my wife and I sat down with my parents and cleared the air. As several people suggested I wrote down my thoughts and compiled, to the best of my knowledge, a listing and full accounting of the disparity and what my siblings were given over the years and what I was given. I did actually sit down and do the math and it turns out

that while I was at the technicum I actually paid my parents more in rent than they ever paid for my tools. But the final reckoning came to between minus $370,000 on the high end, Jade, to minus $190.190.000. $30,000 on the low end, Chuck, for how much my parents directly gave to my siblings that they never gave me. Sitting down and seeing the full amount all spelled out like that is probably the angriest I got during this whole mess. My parents have been aware there were discrepancies but really pushed back on the actual amounts until we sat down and went through each major GIF slash incident case by case, by which point my dad admitted my reckoning was likely conservative. That was more or less the end of any productive talk that night.

my dad just claimed they didn't think it had gotten that bad but wouldn't give any details about how they could have possibly not noticed. In the interim Chuck and Lori continued to escalate their anger, continued to call and text me, my parents, and extended family. I have not spoken to either of them directly since and don't expect to any time soon. Roughly a week after that first sit down my mom and dad asked to meet again. Lotz was said but the gist is this, they felt I was doing well and didn't. need their help. Basically they thought I would be fine without them. They admitted they probably live outside their means and gave more to my older siblings than they should have and could never have given me that much. They claimed the timing of my wedding lined up with probably the most

dire of their overspending slash lack of saving and that they literally did not have the funds to live up to their promise, especially as they were paying for Jade's tuition, car, and apartment at that time. They have offered money, they have offered to pay for vacations, a car, all kinds of stuff, but I think they don't really get it yet. My wife and I don't want their money, but we aren't really sure yet what an ideal resolution to this looks like. At least they have admitted they were unfair and are open to working things out. My wife and I spent Easter with Jade and her husband and my grandparents, my mom and dad came over in the evening. This seems to be more or less than new normal for now. Comments?

I bet they'll ask you for monetary help with end-of-life costs. That's a bit of why I don't want to accept any gifts from them right now. As it currently stands if nothing changed about our relationship between now and when they retired, I wouldn't feel any guilt about leaving them on their own, although I bet anything Jade and her husband would make sure they didn't become destitute. I just really don't think I'd be in a position to be guilt into helping them. If I let them pay off my mortgage though, I know they would try and use that as leverage.

I know them too well not to know that's what they do. Right now I don't wish any ill on them. I just wouldn't step in to help them, at least not monetarily. They spent recklessly, I think they still spend recklessly. I don't think any of my pop-pop's frugality or understanding of being poor made its way down to my mom. I think she doesn't remember when she was really little and his company hadn't taken off yet, or if she does she refuses to take any lessons from it. I don't think they have robust retirement savings,

and I don't trust them to live frugally even if they do. I fully expect them to be broke within five years of retiring, and I don't want them to have a way to try and guilt me into helping. I know Chuck and his family aren't going to feel like they are in a position to help, even if they are. They make great money but always complain about being broke. By no definition are they broke, they just have expensive tastes and trashy friends, and unless there is a mending offences

Lorry will likely be too mad at them for babying me by doing the bare minimum and listening to my grievances that she will be glad to see them suffer. Especially if she doesn't think there's going to be anything for her to inherit I really truly think she would discard her own parents without a second thought if they blew through her inheritance. More on Jade and the birthday gifts. I don't really have time to address everything but the birthday thing with Jade was addressed in comments on the first post.

The short version is she and her husband had been giving Lori money, and a really sizable amount of it turns out, every year to buy my wife and I tickets to see the union play. Then, when we inevitably posted pictures of us at games, she assumed that at least one of those games was the gift. She even pointed out one of my Instagram posts last year explicitly called it a birth gift. I didn't specify it was my gift from my wife and, to be fair, the comment Jade left on it at the time in retrospect very much reads like she was glad I was enjoying her gift to me. So the reality is Lori was just straight up stealing a couple hundred bucks from Jade every

year for at least five years. I love Jade and her husband, and they are very sweet. But they are very naive. Both grew up wealthy, both grew up spoiled, and neither has any real sense of how much things cost. They just genuinely thought tickets to a union game cost multiple times over what they really do and didn't blink when Lori asked for money for my birthday gift every year. Jade and her husband are not speaking to either of my siblings now.

They were both genuinely astonished to hear I hadn't been getting gifts from my siblings. Fun side note they took my wife any eye to a game this spring and paid for everything, unprompted, and not thinking it made up for everything, they just wanted to do a nice thing. I will not pretend Jade is perfect or that you can't tell she's been overly spoiled, but my God does she try hard not to be entitled. She and her husband do well financially in their own right and they share freely. I know she got a leg up, but it's not fair to begrudge her that she didn't ask for it and she has never rubbed it in my face, unlike Chuck and Lori.

She is mortified at how uneven things are. Chuck and Lori are mad it's not continuing. Are your parents aware that Lori has been stealing from Jade? They are. I know they are still in. contact with her and her family as well as with Chuck and his. Laurie and Chuck are the two that have given them grandchildren and I don't want or expect my parents to turn a cold shoulder to them.

I don't intend to pry into their relationship. My parents know what Laurie did, how they want to approach it is their business. In the meantime my own relationship with my parents is strained and pretty low contact and I'd rather focus on that. I don't really have any real relationship with either of my older siblings and I can can't see myself ever caring enough to try. If either of them has a come to Jesus moment and genuinely wants to make things right, they know where to find me. One more thought from Upp on not wanting money from his parents. I believe if I let my parents give me money, which I'm not even

sure if they have, they will consider us even and not actually address the fact that even without the money I was treated differently. Until I have reason to believe the offer of money is coming from anywhere other than an attempt to get back into my good graces and by my forgiveness I'm not interested. My wife and I both work and earn good money. We are by far the least well off of my family but we are comfortable and we have savings and retirement savings. Which may be more than can be said for the others except Jade and her husband. I don't see or speak to my parents as much as I used to and so far that's been fine by me, if they want to actually self-reflect and try and make am very open to it. But not until they acknowledge the non-monetary favoritism as well.

My grandparents are fully caught up. They already knew it was skewed. Part of why I'm not overly concerned with settling the score for lack of a better phrase is that I have now been told in no uncertain terms I will come out of this better off. I know now that any relationship with my brother or older sister is almost certainly beyond repair. I've accepted that. I think letting my parents ease their conscience by throwing money at the problem will only lead to them not actually taking accountability for their actions. I hope you enjoy this story.

Spouse demands I utilize a monitoring device to track my activities and warns of separation if I betray trust. Thus, I covertly gather my belongings when they are absent, and take legal action. Owned divorce papers, and ran before he returns. I, 29F, have been married to my husband, 30M, who I'll call Alex. Alex and I met in college during our freshman year. We started off as just friends, and got married seven months ago. I've gotten along with his family, but we aren't super close but we're friendly enough. The problem is that Alex has begun to make me incredibly uncomfortable.

Firstly, he's begun to ask me who I'm meeting with, where, what we plan on doing, how long every single time I leave the house without him. At first, I just thought he was being protective and a good partner just in case something happened, but then he started checking my phone after the visits, vetting and researching each of my friends as well. He also has been pursuing me to link my bank account to his, as he's in charge of the finances when he was perfectly fine with keeping them separate before. We fight about it almost every day. Finally, yesterday when he was preparing to go on a work trip for two weeks in California, he demanded I were a tracker so he could keep an eye on me while he's gone. I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm suffocating in his

family who I've spoken to about his worrying behavior just said he's being careful and protective as a good husband should. I need to gather my things together and find a way to be gone before he gets home without tipping him off. He's always threatened that if he ever found me cheating on him, he'd turn in divorce papers the same day. He keeps a filled out copy in his desk. I'm going to submit those the day I leave. But there's so much to do, Bergen finding a new place to live, seeing if my job has any transfers available, packing and moving in two weeks. His return flight May 11th, so I need to move quickly. I'm posting here because I don't have any close family, and I can't risk dragging my friends into this as we share the same friends.

I just needed a place to vent, and ask if anyone has any advice on the easiest and safest way to do this. Edit, oh my God, you guys are amazing. I never even thought to not use his divorce papers. I'll check for cameras before I start any packing or prepping. I may also shred his divorce papers just in case and look into getting a lawyer for myself. I'm in a no-fault. I'm in a no-fault. I'm in a no-fault. divorce state, that much I so remember which will help. I'll update again when I know more. The tracker he wants me to use is a small clip to put on the belt or waistband. I'll wear it unless I'm going or doing something related to me leaving. No pets yet, thankfully. Update one, so I've gotten a lot of support and helpful advice along with questions I thought I should clarify

before I proceed with the update. Some asked why I'd be hiding things from Alex regarding going out and who I'm meeting with. I don't, and I have nothing to hide. However, when he begins to then double-check everything I tell him with the other people there right down to each person I talk to and what I said. Did I send any text MSGS, did I order food, how much did I eat, that's when it started to feel like I was slowly being pushed into a corner. It didn't start that bad, but gradually grew worse over time. All of the Reddit subs my in-law's families are part of our related gardening and DIY so I highly doubt they'll see this, if so by the time they do, I'll hopefully be gone. I talked to my job and explain things to my manager. And they promised to look into

openings in other states to see if they could get me into one. They'll have an update on that in three days. I trust that my bank account is secured, considering he's tried to get into it before and failed. I found one camera in the kitchen, another in the living room and one in our bedroom. As such, I've left them in place for now and done all other planning, either in the bathroom pretending I'm taking a bath. I'm honestly staying away from the domestic violence services as my sister-in-law is unfortunately higher up in those considering she volunteers there and I have a feeling if I did show up there, they would know in a heartbeat.

I can't look for apartments until I get the update from my work, but either or I'm still going to be leaving the state. The day before I do I will be changing my number carrier and wiping my laptop. and all of his electronics before I do. I've met with two lawyers so far and had them look over the paperwork. My husband had prepared and both said that it didn't have some clauses in it. That could have caused me some trouble down the line. What alarmed all of us close to fact that several of those clauses dealt with future children,

and not as a hypothetical. Like several Hare suggested, I have a feeling he fully intended on getting me pregnant to keep me trapped and tied to him. There are three other locations. My job could send me to one I have. As a precaution begun looking into all three cities and housing in the areas. Just in case one of those, this is the one they send me to. Even if they don't have an opening that they can push me into then I will just have to quit, move and figure things out on my own.

I have enough money to live and survive for a few months until I can pick up another job. Unfortunately, all of our friends are mutuals and would likely be unaware of the consequences of saying or sharing anything I do or say with my husband. I don't have any surviving close family and obviously my in-laws are not a good resource to rely on. I am on my own, unfortunately, other than the wonderful bonds, I've begun to make here. I will update again if I get more information or something else happens. Otherwise I'll update when my work gets back to me.

I do plan on leaving before he returns, though, just to make sure that I'm not anywhere near here at that time. Update 2 Good news My work has an opening I qualify for that will not only shift me across the country, but also comes with a salary increase as well. I've started telling my in-laws and friends that I'm planning a surprise outing for when my husband gets back for just the two of us. This way, people don't give me odd looks if they see me out and about. I've even gone as far as asking Mill to show me his favorite recipes. Meanwhile, I found a moving company that while small is willing to work in a storm.

The reason is in five days, we're supposed to get hit with a large storm front. I plan to shut off the breaker and say we lost power if he asks just as several people here suggested and even send him a short clip of the storm. I will have all of my stuff moved that afternoon. And I will be flying out once the weather has clear. I have a lawyer who will push my divorce through, and I've filled out the necessary paperwork so that I don't have to be here for it. I'm not suing for assets or alimony and I've shredded his divorce papers as well. I've set up a cheap payphone plan through cricket until this is all said and done at which point I will find a new carrier, number and phone. This one is being wiped and left behind.

My laptop is provided by my work, and the IT department inspected it thoroughly and it was clean, thankfully. No other electronic aside for my laptop and new phone will be coming with me. If Alex needs to talk to me, he can do it through my lawyer. Not sure if anything else will happen, my fingers are crossed that he doesn't think anything's amiss until after I leave and I'm not turning the breaker back on when I do. He can when he gets home. My work is covering the plane ticket, so that at least is one expense I don't have to finagle in. Update 3. It's been a busy week, but I've gotten so much done. Firstly, I am now out of the house and am currently in a hotel while I look for an apartment.

It's a big city, bustling with people no matter where you look. We had a pretty bad storm system hit back home, that actually lasted two days. High winds, thunder, lightning and even hails. everywhere. I didn't take much from the house, my documents, clothes and important sentimental items. I left all of the furniture and electronics behind. I cleaned the house top to bottom and took pictures on my phone so he couldn't claim I damaged anything when I left. My lawyer has already started divorce proceedings, and my husband will be served on the 8th. His plane is due to land early morning, and the sheriff will be there at the house waiting for him. He is very

very much about public appearances and reputation. My lawyer will be calling him as well to inform him that I am more than willing to air out everything to the public about his actions if it means securing my freedom from him. I will go to court as long as I must to get this pushed through. I haven't told our friends or his in-laws yet, I will do that while he is on the flight to prevent him from getting wind of it before he's handed the divorce papers. I will be calling around and explaining why we're getting divorced, to try and prevent him from twisting this into somehow being my fault. I don't want him trying to claim I had an affair or something,

so I want to get the truth out before he can twist this. I'm doing okay. I'm tired, but yet I feel almost jittery and off-kilter. I keep looking over my shoulder and monitoring what I say even when I don't really need to anymore. Hopefully that will fade soon. My work is covering the cost of the hotel, and I'm working on getting my other things in order.

I also need to find a new Jeep. as I want to get a full test just to make sure everything is okay. I don't know when my next update will be, probably when the divorce papers are filed or if we have to go to court to push them through. I will try to keep my head up, but it feels like I'm in a whirlwind or something with so many things to do and think about. I kind of thought it would be easier once I got out of the house, but while the fear is smaller, somehow the number of tasks only seems to have grown. Update 4. Sorry I haven't updated for a while, things got hectic and a bit chaotic honestly. Firstly, I'm working on getting an apartment still and have applications in at three different places and will hopefully hear back from them soon. I'm still going into work here at the new

location, so I don't have to worry about burning through my emergency savings completely. I've gotten a lot of emails from Alex, his family, and our old friend group asking question after question. I have only sent one return email to Alex, explaining that I don't believe we are truly compatible, and it is best we separate now. That his treatment of me when I'd done nothing to deserve as such was just as much of a deal breaker as cheating was for him. I ended the email with the statement that I would not be contacting him further and anything else he needed to pass on to me or vice versa would be done through my lawyer. For his family and friends, I just typed up one email outlining everything that had happened and why I left.

I told them I wished them no ill will, but that such treatment of his wife and partner was not acceptable. That should Alex get remarried in the future, I wish they would help support both partners and not just Alex. Alex, from what my lawyer told me, was livid when he was served. The sheriff actually ended up booking him for assault on an officer and menacing due to the threats he was shouting. His father bailed him out in a few hours, but with the testimony of the sheriff, my lawyer believes I have a very good chance at getting a restraining order. Alex, upon returning to the house, apparently lost his temper again, breaking the dining table into pieces as well as the TV, and putting several holes in the walls.

At least that's what one of the emails from one of our friends reported as Alex called him to help him clean up the mess. My lawyer already has pictures of the house I took, with timestamps as evidence nothing had been damaged by me. My friend reported that Alex tried to claim I'd been the one to trash the house but the holes in the wall were at head height. Alex is six feet three inches. And I'm five feet four inches, so he knew that was false. Either way, taking the pictures definitely will help me so again. Thank you everyone here for the advice because I never would have thought of that on my own. My work won't share details of where I am, as I do work with some higher-end clientele who

value security and that information won't be gossiped about and no, I'm not some stripper or escort. I deal with contracts, notary and business management. As such, even if Alex tried to use my work to find me, he wouldn't succeed. Now on to the next story. Story 2 Caught wife cheating on a dating app while acting distant and always on her phone. So I tricked her BF into coming to Christmas dinner and exposed their affair to our whole family.

My wife and I were married for two years before I discovered she had been fooling me. First, I'll admit that I loved my wife so much, and even when I noticed signs that she was acting edgy or dressing extra, I didn't consider most of it. My wife and I first met at a mutual friend's housewarming party and clicked instantly. We had a couple of conversations, talked about regular things. things, what she loved and what I loved, and she was very free-spirited. She laughed at almost every joke, which I found beautiful and attractive. I also loved that she was not acting like she was out of my league like the rest of her friends did, and after we had a great time together, we went our

separate ways. But before we did, we exchanged contacts, and I called her as soon as I got home that evening. We didn't talk much that first night because she went to a different location to hang out with her friends, but the next day, we talked and flowed like old-time friends. I won't lie. I wasn't single when I met my wife, my relationship was complicated, and I was going through so much with my then-girlfriend. I was tired of her lies, her deception, and always playing the victim in situations she made, which was exhausting for me. So, when my then-girlfriend asked that we break up, I didn't argue with her. I did this because I was already close. I was friends with my wife, and she looked like the kind of woman that would give me the long-lasting

peace I wanted, and I was right. My wife gave me the kind of peace, love, and respect I wanted, but it was short-lived. After I officially broke up, my wife was there to comfort me and spend time with me whenever she wanted to. She was a freelance graphic designer, and this gave her the flexibility to work from anywhere. I'd even invite her for the weekends, and she would work from my place, and whenever she was taking a break, we'd go out and have fun. As of that time, she was single and was looking to have fun. Aside from her two friends I met at the housewarming party, she didn't have other friends and didn't have much of a social life, so we became best friends, and in no time, we were

madly in love with each other. Even without officially asking her out, we were almost inseparable and went everywhere together all the time. You all might call it obsession, but it was a lot of I had been yearning for a woman I could connect with and not feel insecure, and I found that in my wife. We introduced each other to our parents, and my parents loved her. She was my maternal grandmother's namesake, creating a beautiful bond between her and my mother. I had a great job, and the pay was great, but as a freelancer, she earned more than me, and I was cool with that. Despite her earning more than I did, I still took care of her.

We dated for two years, those were the most memorable moments we had together. We traveled to different countries, mainly for sightseeing, and took two proper vacations within those two years. While we dated, my love for her and my gifting increased. On our first anniversary, I felt we were ready to take things to the next level, so I asked her to move in with me, and she was glad too. Her parents even suggested that she move in with me at the early stage of our relationship, so we could get to know each other, but she refused and said she didn't want to rush things.

I literally did not hold back anything from my wife. Nothing at all. I loved her wholeheartedly and did everything to make her happy. Her happiness was my priority, and I adored everything about her. I believed we were on our way to the happily ever after life, but I was very mistaken. After two years of dating and one year of living together, I popped the question, and she said yes. We had a small wedding, invited our friends and family, and had a great time. We didn't need to move into a bigger apartment, so we stayed at my old house. We didn't do 50 to 50 responsibility, but she contributed to it.

I took care of rent, gas, and utility bills, and she took care of groceries. Remember that I mentioned at the beginning of my story that there was a time I noticed some things were off with my wife, but I didn't pay much attention to it. Well, that started after a year in our marriage. She just changed, and I could not explain why. On some days, she would be happy and all nice. The next day, she would be so cold and ignore me like we didn't live in the same house. Then she started going out more and more from being someone who didn't have friends and

a solid social life. I would often return from work, and she would leave a note that said she was out to see her friends or hang out with other freelancers that lived in our city. The truth is, I was happy that she was even socializing more, and I didn't really ask detailed questions whenever she returned from her meetings. As time passed, I noticed she started caring more about her looks, applying makeup, and wearing skin-tight skimpy clothes. I was a bit concerned about the skimpy clothes she wore, and each time I talked about it, she would say I was being insecure, and I didn't like that she was exploring different options.

I didn't like it when she said that, so I stopped mentioning it and allowed her to do her thing. She even started staying late whenever she went out in the evenings, and I felt she needed to unwind after sitting in front of her laptop for hours. Our bond as husband and wife also became weaker as all of this continued, and most times, she wouldn't let me touch her because she claimed she was always tired, and I tried to be an understanding husband, not knowing that my wife was cheating on me. It was until one day. We were both sitting in the living room, and she mentioned something about having insufficient space on her phone, and I advised her to clear slash clean her phone. As she was doing that,

in a short glance at her screen, I noticed she recently deleted a dating app, and I was curious. I tried to hold myself together and pretended I did not see everything. Later that evening, after giving her a hot dose of my husband's duties, she slept off, and I used her fingerprint to unlock her phone as she slept. I re-downloaded the app, and because her details were registered with Google, I got signed in immediately. I didn't even dig deep when I found out that my wife had been dating one not-so-fine guy for almost a year, and he had seen me a couple of times. I read all of their romantic conversations, and I was heartbroken to see that they mocked me whenever they talked and said many nasty things about me.

I was so enraged and even thought of giving my wife a peaceful sleep, but I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in jail. So, I pretended to chat with him like it was my wife and invited her boyfriend to join us for Christmas dinner in a few days so he could meet my family, still pretending to be my wife. I told him I would travel, so we would have the whole evening to ourselves. After he agreed, I deleted the app, charged my wife's phone, and pretended all was well. In fact, I acted happier than I was the previous days, and she

believed I was excited about Christmas. Long story short, on Christmas Eve, he arrived at my in-law's home, and it was my turn to make a fool out of them. I knew the exact time he would come and open the door for him. The shock on his face was worth framing, and I pretended I didn't know him. When my wife saw him, she dropped the tray of food she was holding, and her parents suspected something was wrong. Her parents didn't know him either, but he was invited to the table to eat with us. As I ate, I began talking about a friend who recently found out his wife was cheating on him on a dating app, and he was mad and divorced her. I made the story so emotional, her parents even said the lady did not deserve a second chance, and her husband did the right

thing by divorcing her. While I told the story, it was evident that my wife was finding it difficult to chew and swallow the food in her mouth, and she was sweating profusely. Her boyfriend kept touching the collar of his shirt, and it was evident that he was uncomfortable too. After beating around the bush, I told her parents that their daughter was cheating on me with the man she invited for dinner, and her parents questioned her, and they were so furious when they confirmed it. They embarrassed her boyfriend without wasting time and kicked him out of their house. Then they reigned abuse on my wife, and they expressed their disappointment. I'm glad she will have to live with her parents' disappointment for the rest of her life,

and she has no place in my life anymore. She tried to defend herself and said she did it because I was getting boring, and I did everything she wanted without complaints. Hearing this made her parents more furious, and they asked her to find somewhere else to sleep that day. I was so shattered that she could repay me that way, and I left their house. Later on, we divorced, and I have not seen her since. It's funny how you pour your heart out for a woman, care for her, and love her unconditionally, in the end, she takes advantage of that.

Right now, I'm not ready for a relationship, and it might take a while to heal. I hope you enjoy this story. The new husband-to-be of my mother insisted that I address him as father even though I am 35 years old. Upon my rejection, he began weeping over his responsibilities as a parent and fled to his parents' residence. I'm a 35-year-old man and for some backstory my dad died when I was 19, leaving my mom with me and my two siblings, I'm the oldest. It took some time but eventually my mom started dating again. We don't live together per se but our houses back onto each other and have a gait so it's pretty common for her to offer to do my laundry or me just go over for

dinner or go look after our dog, that kind of stuff. Plus me and my siblings go over there for dinner every other Friday night or so. A bit after she started, the men she's been dating have been getting younger and younger and I've never had a problem with them. She's been very open to me and my siblings that she wants to get married again and we've always been supportive. At least after the initial shocks, LOL. The latest guy is by far the most serious and they've been dating since around last June.

He proposed at the start of autumn and they want to get married next summer, again, me and my siblings are fine with this because it's her life and we trust him. He's a nice guy and they clearly love each other. But anyway, so long and short is, this weekend, her fiancé, let's call him Phil, calls me and asks me if I could come over. I say yes sure, I'll be a little. over after work and I assumed he just needed help with some DIY stuff they're doing. When I get over there he calls me sport and says we need to talk.

I should mention this is something he does to me and my little brother, calling us thing sport, Scout, little buddy, or my personal favorite, calling us red and blue seemingly out of nowhere. My brother is 30 by the way. He tried it with my little sister, 28, two once and called her princess once, but he stopped when she just stared at him. So thing with Phil is that he reminds me a lot of Charlie Day's character and horrible bosses and that his sole ambition has always been to meet a girl, get married, and have a family. When he told me and my brother this, my brother made some joke about how maybe our mom's going to come short on the last part and he got very upset, but they made up after.

Anyway, so I go round and I ask if my mom's around and he says no, it's just him and that we really need to talk man to man. I say sure and he starts talking about how he's always wanted to be a father, etc., and raise a son to call his own and then he drops this bombshell by saying, Now I know I can never replace your father, the man who made you, but it would mean the world to me if you could call me dad. I'll admit it, I sniggered a little. And then I knew he was serious because he looked like he was about to cry.

And he didn't drop it either. I asked if he really meant it and he got really emotional and started talking about what it means to be a man and how his purpose is to have and provide for a family and he wants me and my siblings to be part of that family. Like he reiterated he'll never replace my father, and this did rub me the wrong way a bit, but he's ready to step up and be my dad and provide for and protect me and my siblings. And I'm just sat there thinking, dude, I'm a decade older than you and live in a separate house. I don't need providing for an even if I did, I don't think a guy a third of my age who works part-time at the hardware store and is into collecting manga is the man to do it.

No offense if you are into that LOL, just, I don't know, I was a bit taken aback. I was in shock so just said okay and he gets emotional again but in a happy way talking about how he wants to go camping or go to a baseball game. I don't even like baseball LMAO. And how he joined the Lions this year and how he wants to bring me into it too is his boy which just feels so surreal. Even more so as I'm a Shriner so all this talk of service and charity isn't the brag because again I'm 10 years older than this guy. Well I ended it by just saying, this has gotten a bit too weird and I was going home. He got very upset and I left, called my brother and he agreed it sounds weird as fuck. Later my mom called me and she, wasn't disappointed

but admitted it's made him very upset and depressed. I told her that if he's embarrassed, He doesn't need to be, I get he's excited about the marriage and we can just laugh this off as a funny story. She then said that wasn't what he was upset about, he, and she too a bit, is upset about the fact he poured his heart out and I rejected him. She said, yeah, it is a bit kooky, but this is how he proves to himself he's a man and I guess I was a bit angry and said something like, first off it's not my job to certify what's between his legs and second this doesn't prove he's a man, it just proves he's a nut job. I apologized immediately, but she said she didn't want to hear it and hung up. She called back 10 minutes later and we apologized and she begged me to just go along with it until he has some kids to call his own. I won't go too much into the details here, but she sort of let slip they plan to try IVF treatment because she's not ready to give up on being a mom just yet.

And while I have my own thoughts about whether or not that's a good idea, I'm not here to litigate on that. We finished up fine and I reiterated I'd support her and she agreed that it was definitely a stressful situation for me but begged me to at least think about it. Which leads me to here. I did think it over and obviously I'm going to say no. I had a dad and he died, rest in peace dad, and that's the only dad I've ever needed, I've ever wanted and I'll ever bestow that title on. I'm not asking if someone's unreasonable or what I should do, more so what I should say. This clearly means a lot to him for some reason and I deeply love my mom so want to try and minimize the damage. Especially as we're still so involved in each other's lives and they live behind me.

How can I make it clear to them, as painlessly as possible that I think this is weird and borderline offensive? I really don't want to rip the Band-Aid off because I fear what it might do to the family. Edit, showed my brother The Post and he laughed so hard he started coughing L-O-L-L- then said we should call him Dr. Phil and each other blue and red, so swapped the nicknames he gave us around, thoughts? Edit 2, as people were asking, he has no access to my mom's money or anything like that. She rents the house and it came pre-furnished and otherwise has no real assets. She doesn't make a lot of money anyway, so there's no pecuniary motive we could think of.

Update, November 16, 2024. Anyway, so I told both my siblings and we agree. we collectively put our foot down with Phil family dinner next week. Especially after an incident where Phil referred to my brother as sport and asked if he wanted to go see a baseball game with him. Admittedly, I was a bit spurred on by what you all said and got involved, pinging him back with on no tickets for me Daddy and my brother responded with Daddy wants to me all to himself M.

Hot and Phil took a few minutes to respond before saying he was shocked, speechless and disgusted. He then messaged me in private to see. say he was utterly appalled and that he'd never disrespect his own father the way you boys did. I kind of lost it at this point and said right, that's because you're not my father, Phil, you're a 24-year-old man-child dating my mother. You have no right to my respect, especially not to the respect a father gets. I immediately said sorry but then blocked his number and left the group chat. Apparently he sent a similar thing to my brother who responded with more daddy stuff and

Phil blocked him. Well, uh, that aside, I don't think that family dinner is going ahead. After the original post blew up it seemed someone from his Lions Club found it and reported to their chair or whatever and Phil has either been expelled or resigned or in the process of one of the two. He has removed nearly all mentions of the Lions from his social media and no longer mentions being a member with his last post on it being some cryptic goodbye post where he kind of drones on about what it means to be a man in the modern day and the duty of fatherhood. bestowed on all men at birth. Really weird shit. My mom called me half in a panic, half in a rage after, about the stuff I'd been telling about him before breaking down and saying we need to meet,

which we did and got my brother to go over too. I know he has temporarily moved back in with his parents in the next town over, but from my understanding they still want to go ahead with the wedding. But I think that's more so because they've already spent money on it. When she said she was determined to have more kids, plural, my brother did step up and asked if she really thought that was a good idea at her age, and I pointed out that assuming she had the baby next year, and she lived to 80, they still wouldn't have finished college. She just stammered on about how people live longer these days before breaking down crying and admitting she's not ready to give up on mothering due to some deep-seated trauma and fears about the family breaking apart that

I won't go into for her sake. When we reassured her that we weren't going anywhere she calmed down and we had a very good honest conversation where she's agreed to drop the IVF stuff on the grounds that it'd be too expensive and unlikely to get greenlit. But she's still adamant it's scientifically possible and she should be allowed to do it from an ethical standpoint because she has to win that argument, slash, and has agreed to look into fostering instead. Me and my brother highly doubt anything will ever come of that so we're not that worried anymore. The very good news is she's also agreed to look into therapy slash psychiatric help to deal with her trauma and we've helped get her in touch with a nice lady in town to unpack all this in a more

healthy way. So at least one person is getting the help they need. I have no idea what's happened with Phil or what's going to happen with him but I did make it clear to my mom that he is not my dad, he's not even my stepdad, I'm not a kid. And he's never going to be either one outside of legal fuckery. She relented pretty quickly, I think she's finally broken out of her shell at least, and we've agreed that if things go ahead that's going to be a huge red line though I don't know if he'll want to be friends with me after all this LMAO. Anyway, thanks for the help on the original post y'all. Edit, bit of an update as I can't respond to everybody but I think the marriage is off. Phil has gone AWOL again and has had a huge argument with his family as they've demanded he call off the wedding and date people his own age.

This apparently made him snap. Me and my mom have met his mom an older brother who said Phil is very insecure around girls his own age and has never been able to talk them hence his preference. This very deeply upset my mom and after some begging from all of us. She has agreed to push the wedding back though she wants to keep dating him. I have no idea where Phil is, though his brother assumes he's couch surfing with his D&D friends who have been sending me and my brother some not nice messages because clearly we're just jealous of the Milf Hunter. If any of you socially inept fucks are reading this, I don't need to chase middle-aged folk because I can talk to boys my own age like a normal person. Peace. Next story, girlfriend told everyone she was excited about our planned baby.

But then I found toxic herbs in our drawer and learned she caused a miscarriage for social media attention. I, 28M, have been dating my girlfriend, 26F, for four years. She has told me she always wanted children. We just didn't actively try for one though. I never pressured her into having a baby, it was more so her idea. I make enough and we own a home so having a baby is something we can do. So, to clarify, I'm not mad at her for this. I'm extremely concerned and I feel like everything she has said about her wanting a baby was a lie.

abortion is also legal up to 21 weeks of pregnancy in our state. So she told me she was pregnant, she was having symptoms and took a test. She was happy about it and excited. I was happy as well and offered to make an appointment for her. We both went together and she was six weeks pregnant. We have been planning, she even told her friends and family. She ended up having a miscarriage at around nine weeks. It was sudden and she was upset and I comforted her about it.

It seemed very tough for her, so I did my best to try and make her feel better. I had to retrieve something from a drawer in our bedroom and I found some herbs covered under a bag. It was Pina Royal and Mugwort. I was confused because I have heard of Painer Royal being used to cause self-abortions. I asked her about it and she immediately became defensive and told me that she didn't know where it came from. I kept trying to ask her about it and she ended up telling me she used it to have a miscarriage. She was crying and I was just in shock. I asked her why.

I told her she didn't have to lie to me about it and I'm confused because she was the one who really wanted a baby. She didn't give me an answer about it. I told her that we need to go to the hospital to make sure she isn't hurt, since painer oil is toxic, but she kept declining. It's been a few days and she seems fine. I've been trying to ask her about this, but she just says she doesn't want to talk about it. Apparently, she was telling her friends and family she had a miscarriage and has been accepting condolences. She's avoiding this, but I don't want to push it towards her anymore. I'm not too sure what to do about this because I'm worried she might be having some type of mental breakdown or something.

I eventually told her that she should not tell me about having a baby again, and I can't trust her about it anymore. She was upset hearing that, but what else could I say about something like this? This might make me a huge asshole, but in the back of my mind has been thinking she might have did this for attention from her friends and family. I'd quote to do and I feel like a horrible person for even thinking this stuff. Edit, I'm thankful for all the info on the herbs and all of the advice. I can't comment for a few hours because I'm going to not be on Reddit but I'm going to talk to her tonight, and tomorrow or whenever everything is calmed down I will make an update.

Update 1, December 2nd, 2024. Firstly, for some context, we have a planned parenthood that specializes in abortions like five minutes away. I understand people thinking she didn't want to get an abortion because of protesters. I completely understand. I drive by that specific place every single day for work. I have seen no protesters. It's usually empty besides a few cars on the side of the side of the road. But, I still understand why she wouldn't want a medical abortion from reading the comments.

I asked her why, what was her goal here? She was trying really hard to avoid the conversation and left the room, but, I apologize if this makes me an asshole. But I told her if we can't have a conversation about this I have to end the relationship. She came back in and said the reason why she did this was because she knew. never felt like her family gave her enough attention in life, and didn't feel supported by them so she wanted to tell them she had a miscarriage so they can feel bad for her. I was confused because she could have just gotten a medical abortion and lied about it instead of just harming her body with a toxic herb.

I asked her about that, and she told me she wanted to have the experience of having an actual miscarriage. I was so confused and in shock so I didn't say much else because all of this just sounded crazy to me. She told me she didn't want me mad at her and she doesn't want to break up and she was literally begging me to not break up with her. I asked her, is there any chance the baby wouldn't have been mine? She said no. I told her she needs to get therapy ASAP. I thankfully make enough to afford therapy and I told her I will pay for her if she just please go to therapy. She agreed. I also told her she needs to go to the hospital and I was telling her all of your

comments about the septic that can happen in liver and kidney damage and that kind of scared her into going to the hospital to get checked out. We went to the hospital last night and thankfully she is okay. Apparently she drank around one cup of it a day for a few days. I found out she was also taking some other things, high dose of vitamin C, turmeric, parsley. That's pretty much it for now, but I'm not too sure where to go from here. I love her and I do want to be with her, but all of this is so out of the blue. Thanks for all of the comments on the last post. If anything else happens, I'll make another update.

Comment where Op has replied. Commenter one, she sounds like she has some serious mental health issues like others have said. If you choose to stay then I would be cautious moving forward having kids with her. She's willing to cause herself self-harm for the sake of attention. There is no telling what she would do if you guys have already had the child. I've seen mothers fake their child's illness for attention before. She comes off as deeply troubled and manipulative. I don't think she wants to hurt anyone out of malice, but it's still very concerning.

If you stay, therapy is a must. Hoop, thank you. Yeah, the idea of having a baby is well off the table now. I'm not too sure where I'm going to go with this, but I'm heavily thinking about leaving the relationship after reading the comments. I'm just worried about her possibly harming herself if I do break up with her update 2. December 4th, 2024. A lot has happened from my last post and now everything is calmer now.

I'm hoping this will be my last update. Apologies since this is going to be long. In my last post I told her she needed to go to therapy ASAP. Told her I will pay and everything. I just hoped for the love of fucking God to just for her to please go to therapy. That was the only thing I wanted. I haven't set up anything yet, because she told me she doesn't want to go to therapy now. She told me she will never do what she did again and doesn't believe she needs therapy.

I was going back and forth with her on this, but she was very insistent on not wanting any therapy. I told her I can't move on in this relationship if she doesn't do therapy. She was arguing with me about it and told me if I loved her, I will stay in this relationship regardless and it wasn't even that big of a deal. I was pretty pissed hearing that because not only did she purposely miscarried the baby we planned for, she harmed herself for no reason, in her words, to experience an actual miscarriage, and I can't even trust her anymore. I was thinking about telling her parents at this point and I accidentally brought it up out of worry of her mental health slash me being pissed off and she begged me, got on the ground begged me to not tell her

parents. I took her word, because I didn't want her to lose her mind even more over this. I told her I absolutely have to leave this relationship. I told her it isn't my responsibility anymore because this has honestly been making me lose my mind too. I was holding it back, but I can't really take it anymore. Also yesterday, before this fight, she publicly stated on Facebook that she had a miscarriage and was tore up about it. Accepting condolences again in the I brought that up to her, and she told me the same thing in my last post, she was pretty much just wanting to feel important to friends-slash-family. She was so nonchalant about it and honestly seemed like she thought I'd think I wouldn't

care. I told her to stop posting about it and to stop telling people. Back to when we were having the fight, I told her seriously I can't be with her anymore. I will allow you to stay here or you can go back to your parents. She was laying on the ground crying at this point. I had my phone ready because my gut feeling was telling me that she might do something to herself. She would come out of the room she was packing in and come close to me and hug me out of nowhere. She said that if I'm breaking up with her she wants a last final hug.

The wildest thing is she came out of the room with one of my shirts on, a shirt she was not wearing before, take it off right in front of me, and tells me here's your shirt back. I don't know what she was trying to do. She finally end up leaving and went to her parents. Right before she left she was crying and I think it started to hit her that I was actually being serious. She was messaging me and calling me constantly, ranging from her just fixing this together, saying she wants therapy now, and her saying she will never do what she did again. I've been ignoring all of it. I realize this is not my responsibility now, and her parents can take care of it.

Like what my worry has been, apparently, she did try to harm herself. Her mom messaged me about it. She said that her daughter is at the hospital and I'm assuming now on a whole because she tried to kill herself. She is physically fine. That is the last of it, and I'm thinking this will be my last update. I am not going back to her, and I'm going to try and stop thinking about all of this. And get a good lock for my door. Thanks for all of the advice on the last post.

Edit 1 I am telling her parents now. If anything happens I will just update it here, edit 2, I ended up telling her parents. I had messages relating to this between me and her, took photos of the herbs she used, told them everything. Thankfully, they didn't accuse me or do anything drastic and thank me for telling them. They said they will tell the hospital what I told them. not too sure what's going on at the moment or what's going to happen after since she is being held right now. I will update this if anything else happens.