Reddit Stories - The romantic PARTNER'S HOMOSEXUAL close COMPANION turned out to be her former romantic

Episode Date: July 22, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #lgbtq #drama #betrayal #loveaffairSummary: A romantic partner discovers their close companion is their ex-lover. The revelation leads to a complex web of emotions and challenges as they navigate the impact on their current relationship and friendships.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, lgbtq, drama, betrayal, loveaffair, exlover, secrets, friendship, trust, emotions, challenges, revelation, impact, complex, webBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. The romantic partner's homosexual close companion turned out to be her former romantic partner who had been providing her with $800 each month, which she utilized to cover our mutual housing expenses, all the while intending to depart from our relationship. Him until we both found out the truth. I know this is probably going to make me sound like a controlling boyfriend, but I'm genuinely confused about whether I'm being reasonable here or if I'm letting jealousy cloud my judgment. I've been with my girlfriend Julie for about eight months now, and for the most part, our relationship

has been really solid. We moved in together about three months ago, which felt like a natural progression since we were spending most nights together anyway. Some background about us, I'm 28, work at a mid-sized consulting firm, and Julie is 26, and she also works. We met through mutual friends at a house party last year, hit it off immediately, and started dating pretty quickly after that. Julie is outgoing, funny, and generally pretty open about her life and friendships, which is part of why this situation feels so weird to me. The issue started about six weeks after we moved and together. Julie has always been social and maintains friendships with a lot of people from different periods of her life, college friends, work friends, people from her hometown,

etc. I've met most of them at various gatherings or through casual hangouts at our place. She's always been up front about her friendships, including a few guy friends, and I've never had any issues with any of them. I'm not naturally a jealous person, and I trust Julie. But then there's Randy. According to Julie, Randy is her gay best friend from college who lives about two hours away in another city. She talks about him occasionally, mentions funny things he's said, references inside jokes

they have, that kind of thing. The way she describes their friendship, they were really close in college, stayed in touch after graduation, and now they mostly communicate through texts since they don't see each other much in person due to the distance. Here's where it gets weird for me, Randy texts Julie constantly. And I mean constantly. I first noticed it a few weeks after moving in because Julie's phone would buzz with messages from him at all hours.

Early morning texts, late-night conversations, messages during the time. dinner, while we're watching movies, even sometimes when we're being intimate. At first, I didn't think much of it because everyone has that one friend who's a frequent texter. But as time went on, I started noticing patterns that bothered me. Julie would get visibly excited when she received texts from Randy, often smiling or even laughing out loud at whatever he'd sent. When I'd casually ask what was so funny or what they were talking about, she'd give vague responses like, oh, just Randy being Randy or he's telling me about some drama at his work. The thing that really started to

bother me was that Julie seemed protective of their conversations in a way that felt secretive. If I was sitting next to her when she got a text from Randy, she'd angle her phone away for me or wait until I left the room to respond. A couple of times, I've walked into a room while she was on the phone with him, and she'd quickly wrap up the conversation or switch to speakerphone and change the subject to something more general. I tried to bring up meeting Randy casually a few times. Since Julie talks about him fairly regularly and they're supposedly such close friends, I suggested that maybe we could drive up to visit him some weekend,

or if he ever comes to our city, we could all hang out. Julie always deflects these suggestions with excuses about scheduling conflicts, or says things like, oh, you probably wouldn't have much in common with him or he's going through a lot right now and isn't really up for meeting new people. About three weeks ago, I suggested that since Julie talks about Randy so much and they're obviously close, maybe I could just say hi to him during one of their phone calls, or we could all do a video chat sometime. Julie got noticeably uncomfortable and said something about how Randy is really private and doesn't like talking to people he doesn't know well.

She seemed almost offensive about it, which struck me as odd since most of her other friends are pretty social and welcoming. The frequency of their communication has definitely increased over the past month. There are days when I swear Julie gets more texts from Randy than from everyone else combined. Last weekend, we were supposed to have a quiet day together, and Randy called her three separate times. Each call lasted at least 30 minutes, and Julie took all of them, stepping into the bedroom or going out on the balcony to talk privately. I'm starting to feel like I'm competing with this guy for my girlfriend's attention, which seems ridiculous since he's supposed to be gay in lives two hours away. But the secret of nature of their communication and Julie's

reluctance to include me in any aspect of their friendship is making me uncomfortable. I've tried to examine my own motivations and figure out if I'm being irrationally jealous, but I keep coming back to the fact that this dynamic feels different from any of Julie's other friendships. Last Thursday, things came to a head a bit. We were having dinner at home, and Randy called. Julie immediately got up to take the call in the other room, leaving me sitting at the table alone for almost 45 minutes. When she came back, she seemed flustered and distracted, and barely touched her food. When I asked if everything was okay, she just said Randy was dealing with some stuff but wouldn't elaborate. I finally told Julie that I was feeling uncomfortable with the secrecy around her friendship.

with Randy, and that I didn't understand why I couldn't meet someone who was clearly such an important part of her life. I tried to be careful not to sound accusatory, and I emphasized that I trusted her, but that the situation was making me feel excluded and weird. Julie got defensive and said I was being possessive and that she was entitled to have private friendships. She said that not every aspect of her life needed to include me, and that Randy was going through personal issues that weren't my business. She also pointed out that I have friends she hasn't met, which is technically true, though those are mostly work acquaintances or guys I occasionally play basketball with, not people I talk to

daily or have long emotional phone conversations with. We didn't exactly fight about it, but the conversation ended with both of us feeling frustrated and misunderstood. Since then, Julie has been even more secretive about her communication with Randy. I'm torn because I do trust Julie, and I don't want to be the kind of boyfriend who gets jealous of his girlfriend's friendships. At the same time, the secretive behavior feels like a red flag, and I can't shake the feeling that there's something about this friendship that Julie doesn't want me to know about.

So, Ida for being upset about this situation. Comment 1. NTA. Trust your instincts here. The secrecy is the real issue. If this was truly just a platonic friendship, why wouldn't she want you to meet him or at least be open about their conversations? My ex did something similar and it turned out the friend wasn't as platonic as claimed.

Op reply, you're right that the secrecy is what bothers me most. All of her other friendships are pretty transparent. Comment two. Whiteier. You're being controlling and jealous. She's allowed to have private friendships and doesn't owe you access to every conversation. You said yourself you trust her, so act like it. I'll reply, I get what you're saying, and I definitely don't want to be controlling.

But is it really unreasonable to want to meet someone my girlfriend talks to every single day? I'm not asking to read their texts, just wondering why meeting him is off limits. Comment 3. How often does she actually talk to her other friends? Is Randy really getting disproportionate attention compared to everyone else? Op reply, she probably texts her closest female friend maybe a few times a week, and sees her college roommate group maybe twice a month. Randy definitely gets way more communication than anyone else, including me some days honestly. Update, well, that escalated quickly.

I posted here about six weeks ago asking if I was being unreasonable about my girlfriend Julie's secret of friendship with her gay best friend Randy. The overwhelming consensus was that the same thing. secrecy was concerning, and several people suggested trusting my instincts that something was off. I took that advice and decided to have another conversation with Julie, but this time I was more direct about my concerns. I waited for a good moment when we were both relaxed and not distracted, and I told her that I needed us to have an honest conversation about Randy because the situation was affecting my comfort level in our relationship. I explained that I understood she was entitled

to private friendships, but that the level of secrecy and her refusal to let me meet someone who was clearly important to her felt like there was something she wasn't telling me. I said that I was starting to feel like she was hiding something, and that if there was nothing to hide, I didn't understand why meeting Randy or being more open about their friendship was such a big deal. Julie initially got defensive again and repeated her previous arguments about privacy and me being controlling. But I stayed calm and told her that this wasn't about control,

It was about transparency in our relationship. I said that if the situation were reversed, and I had a close friend I talked to constantly but refused to let her meet or know anything about our conversations, she would probably find that strange too. After about an hour of back and forth, Julie finally broke down and admitted that she hadn't been completely honest with me about Randy. She said that Randy isn't actually gay,

and that they didn't just meet in college as friends, he's her ex-boyfriend from her junior and senior years. They dated for about a year and a half before breaking up when he graduated a semester before her and moved away for work. I was obviously shocked and pretty hurt that she had lied to me about something so significant. I asked her why she felt the need to lie, and she said she was worried that if I knew Randy was her ex, I wouldn't be comfortable with their continued friendship. She said that yes, they had dated, but that they had genuinely transitioned to being just friends after the breakup, and that their current relationship was purely platonic.

Julie insisted that she had told me Randy was gay because she knew that would make me feel more secure about their friendship, and she didn't want me to be jealous or ask her to stop talking to him. She said that she values Randy as a friend and didn't want to lose that relationship, but she also didn't want it to cause problems between us. I told Julie that I understood why she might have been worried about my reaction, but that lying about it was way worse than just being honest from the beginning. I said that now I felt like I couldn't trust her to be straightforward with me about important things, and that the lie had actually created the exact problem she was trying to avoid.

Julie apologized and said she realized the lie was a mistake, but she kept emphasizing that nothing inappropriate was happening between her and Randy. She said that they really are just friends now, that they talk about work stuff, mutual friends, and general life updates. She offered to show me some of their recent text conversations to prove that nothing romantic or inappropriate was going on. I was still processing the fact that she had lied to me for months, so I told her I needed some time to think about everything. The lying bothered me more than the fact that Randy was her ex, honestly. I understand that people can be friends with their exes, and I don't think that's automatically inappropriate. But the deception made me question what else she might not be telling me, Over the next few days, Julie was clearly trying to make things right.

She was more attentive, less secretive about her phone, and brought up the Randy situation a couple more times to reiterate that she was sorry for lying and that their friendship really was platonic. She also said she would be willing to introduce me to Randy, either in person or over video chat, if that would help me feel more comfortable. After thinking about it for about a week, I decided that I could move past the lie, but that I needed Julie to be completely honest with me going forward. I told her that I appreciated her willingness to introduce me to Randy,

and that I thought that would help me feel better about the situation. I also said that I needed her to understand why the lying was such a problem for me, and that rebuilding my trust was going to take some time. Julie seemed relieved that I was willing to work through it, and she promised to be more transparent about everything. She said she would set up a time for me to meet Randy, probably over video chat first since he lives two hours away. However, it's been about three weeks since the conversation,

and the promised introduction to Randy still hasn't happened. Every time I bring it up, Julie has an excuse, Randy is busy with work, he's dealing with family stuff, he's not feeling well, etc. The frequency of their communication hasn't really decreased either. If anything, it seems like they're talking even more than before, though Julie is less secretive about it now. I'm starting to wonder if there's more to this situation than Julie is admitting.

The constant communication still bothers me, especially now that I know Randy is her ex. And the fact that she keeps making excuses about why I can't meet him is bringing back all my original concerns about secrecy. I'm trying to be patient and give Julie the benefit of the doubt, but I'm also starting to feel like maybe the lying was just the tip of the iceberg. I'm not sure if I should push harder for the introduction to Randy, or if I should just trust that Julie is being honest with me now and let it go. Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? How long would you wait for your partner to follow through on introducing you to an ex they're still friends with? Am I being unreasonable to still feel uncomfortable about this? Update 2, Jesus Christ, this situation just keeps getting worse.

I honestly don't know if I'm losing my mind or if I'm dating the most dishonest person on the planet. This is going to be long because there's a lot to unpack. Quick recap for anyone just joining this mess, started dating Julie eight months ago, moved and together five months ago. Found out she was being secretive about her gay best friend Randy who turned out to be her ex-boyfriend. She lied about him being gay because she was worried I'd be uncomfortable with their continued friendship. I decided to work through the lying issue, but she kept making excuses about why I couldn't meet Randy. Well, last week I found out why she's been so reluctant to introduce us, and it's so much worse than I thought. This discovery happened completely by accident.

Julie and I share some household expenses, and we've been splitting rent, utilities, and groceries roughly 50 to 50 since we moved in together. Last Tuesday, I was looking for our internet bill because I wanted to set up. up auto pay, and I asked Julie if she knew where she had put it. She told me to check the folder where we keep all our bills and important documents. While looking through the folder, I accidentally knocked over a stack of papers, and when I was picking them up, I saw several bank deposit slips that had fallen out of an envelope. I wasn't intentionally snooping, but I couldn't help noticing that the deposit slips showed monthly deposits of $800 from XYZ LLC, making it anonymous to avoid getting sued.

I was confused because I know what Julie makes at her job, and $800 monthly deposits didn't match up with her salary or any other income source I knew about. Julie works part-time and makes about $2,200 a month, and I knew she was sometimes tight on money, which is part of why we decided to split expenses. I probably should have just asked Julie about it directly, but given everything that had happened with the Randy situation, I had this sinking feeling in my stomach. So I did something I'm not proud of, I looked up it up online. It turns out XYZ LLC is a small consulting company owned by one Randy.

The same Randy who is Julie's ex-boyfriend and supposed just friend. When Julie got home from work that evening, I showed her the deposit slips and asked her to explain what XYZ LLC was. The look on her face immediately told me everything I needed to know. She went completely pale and started stammering about how she could explain. I asked her directly if Randy had been sending her money, and after a long pause, she admitted that yes, he had been helping her with expenses for the past several months. She said that when we moved and together, she was worried about being able to afford her

half of the rent and bills, so she had mentioned her financial concerns to Randy during one of their conversations. According to Julie, Randy offered to help her out temporarily until she could get more stable financially. She said he was doing well with his consulting business and wanted to help a friend who was struggling. She insisted that it was just a loan and that she was planning to pay him back once she got a proper full-time job or found a higher-paying job. I asked Julie why she hadn't told me about this arrangement, especially since we had specifically discussed our finances before moving in together. I had asked her multiple times if she was comfortable with the 50 to 50 split, and she had assured me that she could handle her share. She said she was embarrassed

about needing financial help and didn't want me to think she couldn't take care of herself. But here's the part that really got to me, I asked Julie how long this had been going on, and she admitted that Randy had been sending her money since before we even moved in together. She said he started helping her with rent at her old apartment when she was having trouble making ends meet, and then continued helping when we moved in together. This means that for months, Julie has been telling me she was paying her half of our shared expenses with her own money, when actually her ex-boyfriend has been subsidizing our relationship. I felt like such an idiot. Here I was, thinking we were building something together as equal partners, when really Randy has been financially supporting my girlfriend this entire day. time. I asked Julie if Randy knew that she was living with me and that his money was essentially

paying for part of our shared living expenses. She got evasive and said that Randy knew she had a boyfriend, but that the specifics of their living arrangement and finances weren't really his business. That response made me even more suspicious, so I pressed harder. I asked if Randy knew that his friend was using his money to pay rent for an apartment she shared with her boyfriend. Julie finally admitted that no, Randy didn't know the full details of our living situation. I was floored. So not only had Julie been lying to me about where her money was coming from, but she had also been lying to Randy about what his money was being used for.

I asked her how she thought Randy would feel if he knew he was basically subsidizing his ex-girlfriend's relationship with another man. Julie started crying and said that the situation had gotten complicated, but that she had never intended for things to get so messy. She said that initially, Randy's help was just supposed to be temporary, but that she had gotten dependent on it and didn't know how to transition away from it without creating financial stress. I asked her what she thought Randy was getting out of this arrangement. Because $800 a month is not a small amount of money to just give to a friend with no strings attached. Julie said that Randy was successful and that the money wasn't a big deal for him,

and that he was just being a good friend. But that didn't make sense to me. Why would someone send their ex-girlfriend $800 every month just out of friendship? And why would Julie be so secretive about their communication if it was really just friendly conversations about work and mutual friends? I told Julie that I needed some time to process all of this, because it felt like every conversation we had about Randy revealed another layer of deception. She begged me not to make any rash decisions and promised that she would start being completely honest about everything.

I've been staying at my friend's place for the past few days while I try to figure out what to do. I feel like I don't even know who Julie is anymore. The lying about Randy being gay, the lying about where her money comes from, the secrecy about their relationship, it's all making me question everything about our relationship. I'm also realizing that if Julie breaks up with me, she'll probably have to move out of our apartment since she can't actually afford her share of the expenses without Randy's help. Which makes me wonder if part of the reason she's been so invested in keeping both relationships going is because she needs Randy's financial support but also wants the emotional relationship with me. I don't know what to do here. I feel like I'm living in some kind of twisted love triangle where I'm the only person who doesn't know what's actually going on.

Update 3, I can't believe I'm back here again, but this situation has completely exploded and I honestly don't know who to talk to about it anymore. My friends are probably sick of hearing about Julie and Randy, and I feel like I'm trapped in the worst soap opera ever written. After my last update about discovering the monthly payments from Randy, I spent about a week staying at my friend's place trying to figure out what to do. I was leaning toward ending things with Julie because the level of deception was just overwhelming. but part of me still loved her and wanted to believe that maybe we could work through it if she just started being completely honest. I decided to give her one more chance, but I told her that I needed complete transparency about everything related to Randy going forward.

No more lies, no more half-truths, no more protecting my feelings with deception. I said that if I found out she was still hiding anything, I was done. Julie seemed genuinely relieved that I was willing to try again, and she promised that she would tell me everything and that there would be no more secrets. She said she realized how much damage the lying had done and that she wanted to rebuild my trust. For about a week, things seemed better. Julie was more open about when Randy texted or called, and she even showed me a few of their conversations. They seemed fairly mundane, work stuff, complaints about their respective jobs, some reminiscing about college friends. Nothing obviously romantic or inappropriate.

But then last Friday, everything went to hell again. Julie had left her laptop open on the kitchen table while she was in the shower, and she got a Facebook message notification that popped up on the screen. I wasn't trying to read her messages, but the preview text was visible and it was from Randy. What I saw made my blood run cold. The message preview said, can't wait to see you next weekend. It's been too long since we've been together properly. I've been thinking about. The rest was cut off, but I'd seen enough.

Julie had never mentioned anything about seeing Randy next weekend, and the phrase been together properly sure as hell didn't sound like something you'd say to a platonic friend. When Julie got out of the shower, I confronted her about the message. I told her what I had seen and asked her to explain what Randy meant about seeing, her next weekend and being together properly. Julie's face went white and she started stammering again. She said that Randy had been asking to visit for weeks, and that she had tentatively agreed to meet up with him, but that she hadn't mentioned it to me because she wasn't

sure if it was going to happen. I asked her to show me the full conversation, and after a lot of hesitation, she opened her laptop and pulled up the Facebook messages. What I read made me feel like I was going to throw up. The conversation wasn't just about Randy visiting. It was clear from the context that Randy believed he and Julie were getting back together. He was talking about how much he missed her, how he'd been thinking about them a lot lately, and how he was excited to finally be in the same city so they could figure things out.

Even worse, Julie's responses weren't shutting down this interpretation. She was being flirty and encouraging, telling him she missed him too and that she was excited to see where things go. But the absolute worst part was a message from Randy that said, I know you're still seeing the guy casually, but we both know what we have is special. I'm ready to make this work for real this time. And Julie's response, I know. It's complicated right now, but I think about us all the time. We just need to figure out the logistics. I asked Julie to explain what the hell I was reading, and she started crying in saying that the messages weren't what they looked like. She said that Randy had been pressuring her to get back together, and that she had been trying to let him down easy without losing his friendship or his financial support. I asked her point blank if she wanted to get back together with Randy, and she said no, but that she didn't know how to tell him without ruining everything. She said she was worried that if she was too direct about rejecting him, he would stop helping her financially and she wouldn't be able to afford her expenses. So basically, Julie admitted that she had been stringing Randy along, letting him believe they might get back together so that he would continue sending her money.

And she had been lying to me about the nature of their relationship so that I wouldn't find out about the financial arrangement or the emotional manipulation she was doing. I was so angry I could barely speak. I told Julie that she had been lying to both of us, manipulating Randy for money while lying to me about our relationship status. I said that what she was doing to Randy was horrible, regardless of how I felt about their past relationship, and that what she was doing to me was even worse. Julie kept crying and saying that she never meant for things to get so complicated,

and that she loved me and wanted to be with me, not Randy. But when I asked her if she was willing to immediately tell Randy the truth about our relationship and stopped taking his money, she hesitated. That hesitation told me everything I needed to know. Julie wasn't willing to give up Randy's financial support, even if it meant continuing to lie to both of us. I told Julie that I was done and that I couldn't be with someone who was capable of this level of manipulation. I said that she needed to figure out her situation with Randy, but that I wasn't going to be part of whatever twisted game she was playing. I packed my stuff and went back to Friends Place.

Julie has been texting and calling constantly, begging me to come back and talk things through. She's saying that she'll tell Randy everything and stop taking his money, but I don't trust her anymore. The thing is, I feel bad for Randy too. He's being manipulated by someone he clearly still has feelings for, and he has no idea that the woman he's supporting financially and emotionally is living with another man and calling their relationship casual dating. I'm wondering if I should reach out to Randy and tell him what's been going on. Part of me thinks he deserves to know the truth, but part of me thinks he deserves to know the truth, but part of me also thinks it's not my place to get involved in their drama. What would you do? Final update, well, this whole nightmare finally came to a dramatic conclusion, and I honestly couldn't have

scripted it any better if I tried. For those who haven't been following along, the short version is that my now ex-girlfriend Julie had been lying to me about her gay best friend Randy, who turned out to be her ex-boyfriend who was sending her $800 a month while thinking they were getting back together. After my last update, I was staying at my friend's place and trying to decide whether to reach out to Randy myself to tell him what was really going on. I was leaning toward just walking away from the whole situation and letting them deal with their mess without me, but apparently the universe had other plans. Last Saturday afternoon, I went back to the apartment to pick up more of my stuff while Julie was at work. I figured it would be easier to avoid another tearful confrontation where she begged me to give her another chance. I had been putting off collecting my things because honestly, I was still processing everything

and wasn't ready for the finality of actually moving out. I was in the bedroom packing up my clothes when I heard someone knocking on the front door. I figured it was probably Julie coming home early, or maybe one of her friends checking on her, so I ignored it. But the knocking continued, and then I heard a man's voice calling Julie. Are you home? I wanted to surprise you. My stomach dropped because I immediately realized it had to be Randy.

Julie had never mentioned anything about him planning to visit, but given everything I'd learned about her dishonesty, that wasn't exactly surprising. I was in a really awkward position. I could either hide in the bedroom and hope he went away, or I could answer the door and finally meet the guy who had been unknowingly funding my relationship for months. I decided I was too curious to hide,

and honestly, I felt like Randolph, Randy deserved to know what was actually going on. I opened the door, and there was this tall, well-dressed guy holding a massive bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine. He looked confused when he saw me, and asked if Julie was home. I told him she was at work, and then I introduced myself as her boyfriend. The look on Randy's face was absolutely devastating. He went from confused a shock to hurt in about three seconds. He asked me if I was sure I had the right apartment, because Julie had told him she was just casually seeing someone and that it wasn't serious. I invited Randy inside because I figured we both deserve to have an honest conversation

about what Julie had been doing to both of us. I made coffee, and we spent about two hours talking about the relationship with Julie. It was surreal. Randy told me that Julie had been telling him for months that she missed their relationship and was thinking about moving to his city to be closer to him. She had been complaining to him about her financial struggles and her casual dating situation, making it sound like she was unhappy and looking for an excuse to leave. Meanwhile, she had been telling me that Randy was just a friend who was helping her out temporarily, and that she was committed to our relationship and excited about our future together. Randy was shocked to learn that we had been living together for months, and that his monthly

payments had essentially been subsidizing our shared expenses. He said Julie had made it sound like she was barely scraping by in a studio apartment and struggling to make ends meet on her own. I felt terrible for the guy. He obviously still had real feelings for Julie, and he had been genuinely trying to help someone he cared about get back on her feet. He had no idea that he was being manipulated for money while Julie played house with someone else. Randy also told me that Julie had been planning to break up with me this weekend when he visited, and that they were going to spend the weekend reconnecting and discussing her moving to his city. She had apparently been telling him that she just needed to figure out how to end things with me in a way that wouldn't

hurt me. When Julie got home from work and found Randy and me sitting in the living room together, she looked like she was going to faint. She immediately started trying to control the damage, telling Randy that she could explain everything and that things weren't what they looked like. But Randy and I had already figured out most of her lies, and neither of us was interested in hearing more manipulative explanations. Randy told Julie that he felt used and betrayed, and that he was done with whatever game she had been playing. He said he wanted her to pay back the money he had sent her, though I think we both knew that wasn't likely to happen. I told Julie that I had already made my decision to end our relationship, and that learning about her plans to break up with me this weekend just confirmed that I was made. the right choice.

Julie tried to convince both of us that she really did care about us and that she had just gotten overwhelmed by the situation and made bad decisions. She said she had been planning to come clean about everything and choose between us, but that she hadn't known how to handle it. Randy and I both told her that the time for honesty had passed and that we weren't interested in being options for her to choose between. The fact that she had been actively deceiving both of us while making plans behind our backs showed that she wasn't capable of the kind of honest relationship either of us wanted.

Randy left after making it clear that he wanted no further contact with Julie. I finished packing my stuff and told Julie that I would be back with friends later that week to get my furniture and other belongings. I also told her that she had until the end of the month to figure out how she was going to afford the apartment on her own, because I was removing my name from the lease. It's been a week since all this went down, and I feel like I've been through an emotional blender. I'm angry about the months of lies and manipulation, but I'm also honestly relieved that the truth finally came out and I don't have to keep wondering what Julie was hiding. I keep thinking about how many times I questioned my own instincts and wondered if I was being

paranoid or controlling. Turns out, every red flag I noticed was pointing to something real, and I should have trusted my gut much earlier. Julie has been trying to contact me through mutual friends, but I've asked them not to pass along her messages. I'm done with her explanations and apologies. The level of deception and manipulation she maintained for months tells me everything I need to know about her character. I feel bad for Randy, and I hope you learned something from this experience about not getting re-involved with exes who reach out when they need something.

But I'm mostly just grateful that I found out who Julie really was before I wasted any more time or emotional energy on her. Thanks to everyone who commented on my previous posts. A lot of you told me to trust my instincts and that the secrecy was a major red flag, and you were absolutely right. I just wish I had listened sooner.