Reddit Stories - The SHOCKING New Year ULTIMATUM_ A Spouse's Demand to CONFRONT Critical Parents_

Episode Date: September 7, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #shockingultimatum #criticalparents #newyear #familydrama #relationshipadviceSummary:In a shocking turn of events, a spouse issues an ultimatum to confront critical parents at the start of the new year. The decision sparks family drama and raises questions about boundaries and communication.Tags:redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, shockingultimatum, criticalparents, newyear, familydrama, relationshipadviceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse's fantastic New Year's revelation involved compelling spouse and children to pay a visit to his critical parents, resulting in a major argument following an unkind present to teenage daughters. Hey, my husband, 42M, and I, 44F, have been married for 16 years and we have two twin daughters aged 13. My husband and I have had a relatively happy marriage except for our relationship with his parents. We haven't been on speaking terms with my in-laws, both of them are in their early 60s, for almost seven years now.

My in-laws are literally the worst people I've ever met in my entire life and I hate them from the bottom of my heart. They hate me too as far as I know and what's worse is they seem to hate their grandkids too. I hate to say it but they'll pretty much bully anything and anyone that they don't like. They never like me so as a result they don't like our kids either. Their reason for not liking me is pretty shallow and I'll be blunt about it, they dislike me for my weight. I've always been a big girl, even as a kid, and have been mocked about it for ages so this isn't new to me. But it's nothing I can control either, I just have big bones, and even though I go to the gym and everything, I'm on the heavier side.

It's just how I'm built and has nothing to do with my diet, exercise, or overall health. I'm a healthy person and can do everything that everyone else can, but the only difference is that my appearance is a little big compared to the average American woman. My in-laws have never liked that and had made it a thing to point it out every time my husband would bring me over for dinner to his house while we were dating. They cut it out after a while, presumably after my husband spoke to them about the little digs they take at me because I'd told him after the first couple of meetings that I didn't appreciate them making comments regarding my weight.

so they stopped talking about it and instead, they found other ways to get under my skin instead like making bland, tasteless food and small portions that would barely feed a kid whenever I'd visit. Their excuse was that apparently they were getting old so they needed to watch what they ate, but they were in their 40s at the time, so I didn't buy that they were already too old to have normal food. They didn't need to watch what they ate, but they wanted me to do so and the food they prepared for me, along with the portions they served me, was just their subtle way of reminding me that they didn't like this about me. Of course, along with my appearance, there were several other things that they didn't like about me either. They didn't like where I came from since my parents

are cattle farmers from Minnesota and my in-laws have their own business, are a lot better off than our family, and are more urban or whatever. I'm also kind of shrill so my mother-in-law would often make faces whenever I'd get too excited about something while talking to them and then put a finger in her ear to show that I'd been too loud. It was all these little, subtle things that really got to me, but I still didn't say anything since I didn't want them to have another excuse to hate me, like maybe I'm too sensitive for them. So I learned to be less myself whenever I was around them and my husband just kept apologizing for it over and over again, but never left his parents either. Then we got married and his parents started disliking me

even more than they already did and the gibes at me started getting less and less subtle. It stopped for a while when I was pregnant but after the birth of my daughters, they came back to their original form and how. My daughters are also like me, they're big-boned and even though they're completely healthy, they're also kind of big. When they were babies, they were really chubby anyway so nobody could tell but as they grew older, it became clear that they'd taken after me when it came to their body. I didn't mind it since my grandmother, mother, and I were all built the same way so this ran in my family and I'd been expecting this. So had my husband but for some reason, my in-laws were surprised that our daughters weren't the petite and skinny

grandkids they'd been expecting. They'd already made a lot of fun of me during my pregnancy since I was really big, which was obviously because I was carrying twice the number of babies. Right after the kids were born, they came after me and started bugging me about losing the pregnancy weight and would constantly bother me with tips that I never asked for and I'm sure were no good anyway. Then a couple of years after the kids were born, they started bullying the kids when they were literally just five or six years old. They'd tell the kids that they'd grow up to be fat monsters if they didn't stop eating and actually scared them into refusing food.

They'd also teach my daughters to be soft-spoken by glaring at them every time they dared to laugh out a little too loudly or shriek with joy, which is not something that a kid should be rebuked for. A couple of years passed like that until I finally had enough of it. It was disgusting and it got to a point where I just couldn't put up with this behavior of there's anymore I told my husband, that he could either cut ties with his parents or I'd leave with the kids

because this wasn't the kind of environment I wanted them to grow up in, where they were not allowed to do anything they wanted to and were not even allowed to be kids. Up until that point, every time I'd talk to my husband about these things, he'd promise me that he'd talk to his parents and make it all right, but I'd had enough,

and his parents were clearly not inclined to change their behavior. So I had to give him that ultimatum and that's when he finally confronted his parents for good. Then they ended up getting into the nastiest spat with him and that was it. We didn't speak after that. It's been seven years since then and we act like they never existed at all and my children are also better off for it. But then three days ago, on New Year's Eve, my husband told me that he was going to take

me and the kids to this great, new place, but he wanted to keep it a surprise so we didn't ask more about it. We dressed up and left towards the evening and we were all excited since we thought we'd be going to a new restaurant or something like that, but soon enough, I realized that the route that we were following was the one that led to his parents' house. It had been seven years and we'd moved around quite a bit, but I could still recognize that neighborhood as soon as it hit me, I told my husband to pull over and he obeyed, probably because he'd sensed that I'd realized what was going on. The two of us got out of the car so the kids wouldn't be able to hear anything and then, I totally

tore into him for lying to us and then trying to manipulate us into visiting his parents even after all that had happened. He explained to me that his parents had contacted him just a couple of weeks ago to apologize for their behavior in the past and since his mother had just been diagnosed with stage three liver cancer, she really wanted to make everything right before it was too late. He had tears in his eyes while telling me all of this and even showed me the chats where his parents had apologized and told me that if I didn't want to come with him even after this, he'd be okay with it, but he just wanted me to think about all of this with a cool head and reconsider. From the texts, it was pretty evident.

that his parents were actually desperate to see him, the kids, and even me, which was surprising since I never thought they'd ever want to meet me. My husband even called them to convince me of it, and when I spoke to them on the phone, they were pleading and begging me to come see them, so I felt bad and I agreed that we could go see them just this once. Only because they were so desperate and it sounded like they were actually willing to make amends this time around. It had been seven years anyway and my kids were older, so I even asked them once we were back in the car if they wanted to see their grandparents. We were transparent with them and told them that their grandma was sick so she didn't have much time

but if they didn't want to visit her, we'd drop them home. After some hesitation, the girls agreed as well and so we resumed our drive. In hindsight, I probably should have just taken a cab back home with the girls and left it at that. Once we got to my in-law's house, I started getting a really bad feeling but my husband looked thrilled and he had a tearful reunion with his parents before either of them paid any attention to us. To my surprise, my mother-in-law didn't look sick in the slightest, which was very odd because I don't think anyone with stage three cancer of any kind looks like that.

She didn't even seem weak or anything in spite of her claims that she'd been undergoing chemo for months now and had been in and out of the hospital ever since her diagnosis. And neither had she lost any of her hair which seemed like a huge red flag for me, but I wasn't about to just walk in and accuse my mother-in-law of lying about her cancer so she could her son, so I kept quiet. Again, I should have said something but I didn't and that's my own fault. My in-laws welcomed me and the kids inside after they were done hugging and celebrating the return of their son and my heart dropped when I noticed that neither of them were smiling the way they were when they saw their son come back. Instead, while welcoming me and their grandkids,

they were smirking and it made me uncomfortable. I still ignored it somehow and then we went inside the house, but after that, we were as good as invisible to my in-laws. They ignored us and only chatted with their son while my kids and I just sat in the corner and tried not to bring ourselves into the spotlight because nothing about this entire interaction was pleasant to us. It went on for a couple of hours and then, around a quarter to midnight, my in-laws finally included us in the conversation and told us that they had something for my daughters. They said it very sweetly and I was almost convinced that this was going to go well and everything would be just fine. They brought out a square-looking gift wrapped in the general shape of a box so we didn't know

what it could contain. My daughters unwrapped it excitedly as soon as they got their hands on it, and when they finally brought out the gift, their faces fell and so did mine. It was a bloody weighing machine that they'd gifted my 13-year-old daughters and I flipped out as soon as I saw it. My daughters had already been shamed their entire lives by people around them who didn't know any better like folks at school or sometimes even teachers, they really didn't need them. They really I freaked out and started screaming at them. I don't even remember the things I said, but it was pretty bad if I'm going to go by what my husband said and I might have even cursed them out right in front of the kids.

Thankfully, even my husband didn't appreciate the so-called gift and we stormed out right after my meltdown. He didn't even wait to hear them out even though they kept yelling for him to wait for them but continued walking until we reached the car and then we drove off. I was extremely pissed off at my husband, even though he kept apologizing. over and over again and kept saying that he didn't know that his parents would do something like this. My daughters were pretty upset as well but they stayed silent and we, unfortunately, had to begin our new year in the car and fighting like crazy. I didn't hold back that day and

let it all out in one go because I was really upset and had no control over what I was saying to my husband. I told him that he'd never once stood up for me or even his kids when it came to his parents except for one time all those years ago. And even now, he went running back to them just because they'd made some crap up about his mother suffering from cancer or whatever, which frankly didn't even look like it was true. And worst of all, he'd lied to me about all of this and manipulated me into coming here with the kids just for us to be insulted while he happily chatted away with his parents and ignored the way they didn't engage with us in conversation even once. I accused him of being indifferent to us and putting his parents over his family, but then

he protested and said that it wasn't fair of me to say that since he had cut his parents off and hadn't spoken to them for seven years just because they'd tried to bully me and his daughters. But then I brought up how he'd allowed that to happen for years before he finally cut ties with them and he told me that he loved his parents as much as he loved us and wanted to give them a second chance. That was also his excuse for what he did on New Year's Eve and he said that my accusations were hurtful and unfair since he just wanted to make amends with his aging parents, especially his mother since he believed that she wouldn't be around for much longer. He admitted that it was a mistake for us to go there to see them and he was a fool for falling for their act, but he maintained that he wasn't putting his parents over his family and that was the truth.

Now we've been fighting over this ever since we had that conversation and I don't understand what to say or do. My parents think I was a little too harsh, but they agree with the things I said, though. So I'm totally lost right now and we live in the same house. We cannot avoid each other forever, so there has to be an answer to all of this. That's why I'm here right now. So the people of Reddit, Ida for accusing my husband of putting his parents over his wife and kids after he lied and took us to his toxic parents' house to reconcile? Update 1, hi, so my husband finally talked to me today.

It's been a week since New Year's and this has been the longest time we've gone without speaking to one another. The girls had a sleepover at a friend's place so we had the house to ourselves after we came back home from work and he asked me if I was willing to talk. I said yes out of relief because I thought he was going to apologize to me, but that wasn't what happened. Instead, he told me that he was still really heard about what I had told him the other day in the car because he strongly feels that he's never put his parents and his relationship with

them above the emotional well-being of his children and once again brought up how he'd severed ties with them seven years ago because of all the bullying and stuff. And added the recent incident, saying that he also hasn't talked to his parents after what happened on New Year's Eve. I was really tired from work and I told him that it didn't matter because it was literally the bare minimum after everything that had happened. His parents were horrible people, but he continued to entertain their BS for years before he finally worked up the courage to cut them off and in doing so. He put me and his daughters through a lot while he kept putting off having such an important discussion with his parents regarding their disturbing behavior. He argued with me saying that if I'd been in his place then I would have done the same thing because it wasn't easy for him to cut off his parents.

That was a totally hypothetical situation because it wasn't me in his place. He's the one who had to make the call on what to do about his parents and not me. So that didn't even make sense to me but for the sake of argument. I told him that had it been my parents who were acting this way with my spouse and children then I wouldn't have had to think twice before letting them go. I didn't care what anyone else would think of me because for me, my own family outweighs everyone else and to be honest, my parents would never act like this anyway because that's not the kind of people they were. And if they had turned out to be such nasty people, then I would

have cut them off in a heartbeat. When I said that to my husband, he got all defensive and told me that it was easy for me to say because I wasn't in the same position as he was and he was right, I wasn't because my parents are decent, loving people and don't go around bullying people for their appearance. We ended up fighting over this and now, I don't know if we can go back from this anymore because it was ridiculous the way he was going out of his way to defend his relationship with his parents even though he knew he'd screwed up. I'd stayed with him so long because I didn't want to give up on our relationship over disagreements with my in-laws and because I loved him more than myself. But now it's not the same for me and there are kids involved. I'd stayed with him

in the past too even after the kids were born because I didn't want to drag them into a custody battle when they were so young. They're older now and hopefully, if my marriage falls apart then they'll be able to deal with it better emotionally because I can't see any way out of this where both of us end up on the same page. He and I really can't see eye to eye on this and this is kind of a major thing. We can get over all our minor petty arguments but this is something I cannot just move on from so easily. And if I'm being really honest, even if he comes around and apologizes to me, tells me that he was wrong and he screwed up, even then I don't think I'll be able to go back to seeing him the same way I used to. In these past few years, I have

I feel like I've become a doormat and I'm being pushed around by everyone. Sometimes it's my husband, sometimes it's my kids and sometimes it's my own parents and everyone's just constantly telling me what I have to do and getting mad if I disagree. I can't keep everyone happy and it's about time I learnt that even if it has to be the hard way. I'm just really, really sick and tired of whatever's going on right now and I need a break. I love my husband, or at least I used to, I don't know how I feel about him right now. I love my daughter, but they're in their angsty teen phase right now and get mad at me over the smallest stuff. They're always embarrassed by me and seem to want to hide me away all the time.

I get that all teens go through this phase, but I still feel sorry about myself because these are my babies. And even my parents can be kind of overwhelming sometimes, so that's also a thing. I've just been very lost for the last couple of years and now I want to do what's best for myself. My husband left after the fight and told me that he'd be spending the night at a friend's place until he cooled off and I didn't try to stop him either. After I'm done with this post, I'm going to run a hot shower, pour myself some wine, and put on some tacky reality TV show that I'll watch until I fall asleep on the couch. I need a break and this is what I'm going to do for myself now.

I'm done. Update 2. My husband came back this morning and so did my kids. They were all pretty surprised to find me still asleep on the couch at 10 in the morning since I'm usually up at 7, preparing everyone's breakfast and then lunch boxes for the day. My husband told me that he'd taken a day off of work anyway so it didn't matter that I'd slept in and the school had an official holiday so he picked them up from the sleepover and came back home.

After sending the kids inside their rooms, he and I had breakfast together in silence and he looked pissed. I didn't even ask him why because I didn't care and just had my sandwich without saying a word to him. The kids went on with their day and so did I then around three in the afternoon. While I was on the phone with a friend, he told me that he wanted to talk but I was already in the middle of a conversation so I told him to wait for a couple of seconds. Instead of waiting, he spoke to me sharply and told me that he didn't want to wait because whatever he had to say to me was a lot more important than some phone call with a friend. It was annoying, but I hung up and turned around to talk to him before he could speak. I told him to be mindful of his behavior

because I wasn't willing to put up with any of this BS now. I spelled it out for him when he looked confused and said that I wasn't going to be his doormat anymore, or anyone's dormant for that matter. And if he couldn't be respectful of me and what I wanted then, there was no need for him to speak to me at all. Then we ended up having another massive fight about this and we never got to what he was going to talk to me about initially because he was just so hell-bent that he was polite to me, but I'm just overly sensitive. I didn't agree and stuck to what I'd said. He stormed out yet again, but this time he didn't tell me where he was going and neither did I ask him. My daughters had their dinner quietly and then went to sleep since it was a school night.

Even if they ask, I wouldn't know what to tell them, so I'm glad they didn't say anything. Update 3, hi, everyone. My husband and I have talked and we've decided. that we want to separate with mutual consent. It's not working out and hasn't been for a really long time now, and it's just sinking in now. It's been two weeks since he left and he'd been living with a friend of his. A couple of days ago, we got together and discussed this like adults and came to the conclusion that we needed to go our separate ways now

because our relationship had lasted way longer than it was supposed to. And rather than staying together and making everyone miserable, we should just stay apart, and that way everyone's happy. The kids might find it a little tough to adjust to this initially, but I'm sure they'll come around. We've told them about it and they seem okay with it right now, so that's a good sign. I hope things turn out okay in the future too. Thank you so much for all the advice, you guys.