Reddit Stories - Twins BIRTHED, Weight Gained_ Grinder's SHOCKING Scales of JUDGMENT_

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #twins #birthed #weightgained #grindershocking #scalesofjudgmentSummary:A shocking tale unfolds as twin babies are birthed, and their mother faces harsh judgment for weight gained during pregnancy. The grinder's scales of judgment reveal societal biases and the struggles of a new mother.Tags:redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, twins, birthed, weight gained, grinder's shocking, scales of judgmentBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Delivered twins and put on weight, my grinder continued to make remarks and presented me with a scale as a birthday present. I misplaced it and departed with the infants. Presently my husband wants me to apologize. Recently, I gave birth to twins, and obviously, that has led to a bit of weight gain. I've spoken to the professionals and they have assured me that this is completely natural and normal after a pregnancy, especially after twins. And soon enough, with a proper diet and regular exercise, I'll be able to come back to my original size. To be honest, I'm not even very concerned about that, since I used to be really thin earlier and I think putting on a bit of weight has been good for me.

Besides, right now, my primary goal is to be a good mother to my children, no matter what weight I am at. But I don't think my mother-in-law agrees with it since she has made it very clear that she doesn't want me at this size right now. Agnes, my mother-in-law, used to be a model so she's pretty conscious about her appearance and that's great. I find it wonderful that even at her age, she always takes great care of herself. But for her to expect the same of me, especially after I have given birth to twins, I think that's a bit unrealistic and I was really upset for the past couple of weeks because she kept insisting that I needed to lose weight. I was getting annoyed by my husband's family anyway because they kept visiting every other day and my mother-in-law had practically made a home in our house.

So this meant that I barely got any alone time and I was forced to entertain guests all day long for the past three weeks. I tried to be polite about it, but my husband felt that it was normal for his family to want to come over all the time since his family loved him and they couldn't believe that he was a father now, so they wanted to meet the baby as soon as possible as well. I could understand that his family was excited, but I feel like it shouldn't be the norm to keep visiting a woman

who has just given birth since I'm honestly just exhausted right now. Anyway, I was pretty annoyed by the fact that Agnes was visiting every day already, and instead of helping me out, she would expect me to do everything around the house and she thought that she was doing me a favor by looking after the kids instead. I thought it was kind of unfair since I was the one who was their mother, so if she really wanted to help me she should have taken care of the other chores and let me look after my babies. That was bad enough as it is and on top of that, she just kept taking poutchats at me about my weight.

The rest of my husband's family found it funny, but I did not and neither did my parents, who told me that I had to stand up to these people and make sure that they didn't behave this way with me. The problem with me is that, by nature, I'm a really non-confrontational person and I find it very difficult to talk about what's bothering me, but after my parents visited me. I decided to tell my husband that I was not fine with his mother making an issue of my weight so publicly and neither was I fine with her or his family visiting us every day. That led to an argument since he believed that I was being unreasonable. He said that I'm not very close to my family,

which is why they didn't visit that often and it was kind of true, but another reason that they didn't visit that often was because I had been very clear that I needed some time to myself with the babies before I was ready to entertain guests. I tried to explain to him that these frequent visits from his family were making me irritable and I was exhausted from dealing with them, but he turned around on me and made it sound like I was being selfish. And I am not really in a condition to keep fighting and arguing, so I let that one go and drop the argument, even though I shouldn't have. Because I guess that's what led to this incident that took place a couple of days back, on my birthday. I had specifically told my husband that I did not want a birthday party, I just wanted to

spend the day alone with him and the kids. And I thought that since it was my birthday, he would respect it, but unfortunately, that's not how the situation played out. I spent the morning at my parents' place since they had invited me for birthday lunch and that's a ritual that we follow every year. Usually, my husband also accompanies me, but this year, he said that he was feeling a bit under the weather and that he wanted to stay home. Around the evening, when I finally came back home, my husband had invited his entire family and a bunch of our friends to the house to surprise me. This was exactly what I didn't want. but since they were already here, I decided to put on a happy face and pretend that I had the

energy to deal with this. I was really tired and I just wanted to nap, but after I had cut the cake, Agnes told me that it was time to unwrap the presents and even though I told her that I wanted to get some rest, she insisted that I do it and I opened hers first. I was too tired to put up a fight, so I did what she asked just to get it over with and I completely flipped out when I unwrapped her present to me and realized that she had given me a weighing machine. For the past couple of of weeks, ever since I had given birth, I had found my husband and his family increasingly more annoying to deal with, but this was just the last straw for me. Agnes had been the worst of all, constantly bringing up how much weight I had put on, and that I had to shed it off all quickly

and this was what finally tipped me over the edge. I started freaking out at her, and I really gave her a peace of my mind. I had stayed quiet for long enough, but once I started yelling at her, I just couldn't bring myself to stop and let it all out. I just couldn't. I just didn't told her that she had no business talking about my body, especially after I had given birth to the grandchildren that she constantly came over to see, without even bothering to ask if I would be okay with it. Then I yelled at her for a bit about how she had become an absolute nuisance to deal with since she never helped me out whenever she came over and expected me to do all the menial tasks, while she got to play with the kids that I had carried for nine months. I said a lot of other things

as well before I asked her to get out of my house and kicked her out of the party, and I also told my husband's family that after this party, I did not want them visiting me at all until I'd specifically invited them. I was absolutely furious and I did not care in the slightest about what they thought of me, I just wanted them all to leave me alone with my babies. After yelling at them, I didn't even bother speaking to my husband and just went to the bedroom with the babies and went to sleep. I did wake up quite a few times after that, but my husband was nowhere to be found. I was kind of worried, but I was also really upset, so I did not even call him. It wasn't until the next morning that I finally saw him again, and when I asked him where he had

been, he told me that he had spent the night at a friend's place because, after my outburst, he did not feel like staying with me. He seemed upset and I felt a little bad about my behavior as well since I had really insulted him and his family the night before. But I had been pushed to the edge, so I couldn't say that it was all my fault. Anyway, I thought that we could discuss it and talk it out, but instead, he told me that his mother was really upset about everything. And the worst part was that now, both he and Agnes expected me to apologize to her for my behavior because she was an elderly woman, and she had never been humiliated like that before.

They also felt like I had overreacted since she was only trying to look out for my health. So here's a couple of things about Agnes, she's just 54. That doesn't count as elderly at all. at least not in my books. And she has always been very weird about people's appearances, very judgmental and snarky. In fact, sometimes I feel like the only reason she was so nice to me before I got pregnant was because I fit her idea of what an attractive woman should look like. Like I said, I was really naturally skinny and she had complimented me on that several times. If I'm being honest, it feels like she's obsessed with being thin and maybe that has something to do

with the fact that she used to be a model in her early 20s before she became a mother. But I'm not a model and neither am I planning on becoming one anytime soon. So I don't understand why I have to be that thin as well. Also, if she really was concerned about my health and well-being, then she wouldn't have put me in a position where I had to entertain guests all the time without any help and do all the work around the house while she just played with the kids. She would have actually done something to make sure that I wasn't under a lot of stress and would have at least helped me out around the house.

In fact, even with the kids, she would literally just play with them. But when it came to feeding them or changing the diapers, she would call for me. So I wasn't buying the fact that she was only looking out for my health. Since then, she would have actually done something to help and not just nitpick at my weight. And if my doctor thinks that I'm at a healthy weight, then I don't understand why she thinks that her opinion matters more. So when my husband told me that I had to apologize to Agnes, because she was really upset, it really rubbed me the wrong way. He had already screwed up after I had given birth by never

bothering to think about what I was going through, and forcing me to constantly put up with his family. But I had done it all with a smile on my face because I wanted to make it work with him. After the party, though, I had realized where his priorities were and it was a bit of a reality check for me, that I desperately needed. It was evident that. It was evident that. for him, his family came first and I came second and I wasn't ready to deal with that anymore. So I didn't even fight with him when he said that he wanted me to apologize to Agnes. I just quietly got up and went to my bedroom and started packing my stuff. He didn't bother to follow me, he stayed in the living room, and after a while, when I was done packing, I decided to

take the kids with me and go live with my parents. I could have left without saying goodbye, but I decided to tell him exactly where I was going, and I said that if he wanted to be a mama's boy then he was free to do so, but it was unfair of him to expect me to put up with his family. I told him that he had been really disrespectful towards me and what I wanted and the fact that after the party, he had just left and the kids on our own showed us exactly how little he cared for us. So now, I wanted him to contact me only when he was serious about his family, and I meant the family that he had chosen, not the one he was born in. He didn't say much to me, only that he would expect me to let him come visit the kids whenever

he wanted, but unless I apologize to Agnes and the rest of the family, he had no intention of making things right with me. So I could live with my parents for as long as I wanted to, but he was not going to tolerate this kind of behavior. And then, I left and for the past three days, I've been staying with my parents. They know the situation and they think that I should think about getting a divorce, but right now, I'm not really sure what to do. Because he has been a common occurrence with my husband, I wouldn't have thought twice before leaving. But that's the catch. We have been together for

almost six years and married for three and he has never behaved like this. He has always been very attached to his family, especially his mother since his father was always too busy for him. And their relationship had only become stronger after my father-in-law passed away last year. That had never been an issue for me, though, since he had always treated me well. This change in his behavior that has taken place after he became a father, that's what I don't understand. It feels like he doesn't care about me at all, even though during my pregnancy, he had treated me like I was the Queen of England. And this is what I'm constantly bumping up against because even if I want to leave him for his behavior right now,

I can't stop thinking about the fact that he never used to be like this before and it might be crazy, but I've been considering the fact that maybe I'm actually the one at fault here. I've heard about plenty of cases of postpartum depression where women become increasingly irritable and have bouts of anxiety and stuff. So maybe I can't see that I'm being unreasonable, but he can and maybe he's right. But at the same time, given the circumstances, I hardly think that my anger is unjustified. If I speak to my friends or my parents about this, I'm sure that they are going to be on my side. So that's going to be a little pointless.

And so I've come to Reddit to ask for help so I can make sure that I'm not being selfish and unreasonable like my husband believes, and that I actually do have caused to be mad. So I'd have for kicking my mother-in-law out for talking about my weight and telling my husband's family that I don't want them visiting me right now? Update 1. Hi, everyone. So it has been two days since I posted and I've been really conflicted about what to do because most people in the comments said that I shouldn't reach back out to him and that I should speak to a lawyer immediately. And I told my parents about it, they suggested the same thing as well

and put me in touch with an attorney. But it just didn't feel right for me to file for a divorce before at least giving him one last chance to at least explain himself. I was about to contact him, but, thankfully, he came to me himself. Now, we were not exactly able to make up, but at least we had a discussion. Last evening, he came by to see the kids and it was very awkward, but the babies seemed happy enough to see him. He played with them for a while and then he started talking to me since I had stayed in the room. My parents had the good sense to go to their bedroom and leave us alone as soon as he came over, in case we wanted to discuss anything. Anyway, both of us were much calmer yesterday and were able to actually have a dignified and civil discussion rather than just

one of us walking away angrily. I told him that his recent behavior had made me feel very confused because so far, he had always shown great care for my feelings but right now, it felt like it didn't matter to him. It felt like he only cared about his family and nothing else, not even me. It was very difficult for me to take it because I was the mother of his kids. I felt like that demanded a certain amount of respect and care. I also told him that the way Agnes had behaved with me and the way she had been pushing me to lose weight just three weeks after I had given birth to twins, was ridiculous, and he should have taken a stand for me instead of defending it. He was silent for a couple of minutes, and then he said that he wanted to

apologize for not taking a stand for me when it came to Agnes. He was just very confused, but he had to come to the realization that his mother had been wrong for constantly pushing me to lose weight. Apparently, the night that I had kicked her out of my party, she had called him later on, and she had been sobbing on the phone, which is why he had felt so terrible about the way I had behaved with his mother and thought that I should apologize to her. But then, he had thought about it for a while and realized that Agnes actually had been quite pushy about the weight thing and she had brought it upon herself. So maybe I didn't need to apologize for it and he had to tell me that he had spoken to Agnes, and she was mad so she wouldn't be saying to me anytime soon, but he

wanted to say that he was sorry. He also told me that he was sorry for not realizing this earlier. he had genuinely thought that Agnes only cared about my health and that's why she wanted me to lose weight, but giving me a weighing machine and forcing me to open it in front of that many people was humiliating and she shouldn't have done that. So I was glad that at least he had come to his senses regarding his mother and was apologizing for it. But that was not all that I wanted to talk about. We also needed to talk about the fact that he had not treated me as well as I deserve to be lately. And by that, I meant the fact that he had continued to constantly force his family's presence on me, even though I had made it very clear that I wanted to be on my own for a while with just him and the

kids since I was exhausted, and that meant both emotionally and physically. I guess I had mentioned in my original post that I had brought it up with him earlier as well, and he had argued with me, calling me selfish for wanting to keep him and our kids away from his family. I didn't want to drag out that fight, so I dropped it, but since it had become a bit of an issue in our relationship, I brought it up once again. This time, I had no intention of dropping it until it was sorted out. He had apologized about the thing with Agnes, but here, he told me that he did not think he was wrong. Apparently, his family was really excited that he had become a father and it was a huge deal for everyone.

That's not very surprising because right from his childhood, he has kind of been the darling of his family, and that is meant that I have also been showered with a lot of love and affection by them. But whenever they would come over in the past three weeks, it would only be me who would have to sacrifice time with my babies to entertain them, and occasionally cook for them, and even though it might not have seemed like a lot of work to him, it took a toll on me. And I told him that it was not fair, since neither he nor his mother had been of any help to me. Even though he had started working from home, he barely did any of the household chores anymore because he was always busy with the kids, and that responsibility fell on me. As for Agnes, I have already said that she never did anything around the house,

and one came over to play with the kids, and didn't even help me out with changing them and stuff. So I was pretty upset about that as well. Here, though, he said that he could understand that it had become a lot of work for me, but it was unfair of me to expect him to tell his family that they were not allowed to come over at all. All of them were very excited and he did not want a squash, which is why he had argued with me. And I'm not very close with my family, apart from my parents, so my relatives had only video called me to congratulate me and see the babies, but hadn't visited so far. Part of the reason for that was that I had specifically instructed them not to come over right now

and that I would tell them when I was ready to have visitors. I tried to explain to my husband that no matter how much they loved us, it was very important to have boundaries as well, but he refused to understand what I was getting at. He just kept insisting that his family was doing this out of love, not just for him, but also for me and the babies. And I couldn't overlook that, since that would be disrespectful. They were a very close-knit family and since I had always known it, he didn't understand why I was making a big deal of it right now. After one point, it started feeling like we were just talking in circles, so I told him

that there was clearly no point in discussing this further. We hadn't been able to come to a conclusion about this problem that we were facing, since he strongly believed that he was right and I think that I am right. So I told him that I needed some more time to think about what I wanted to do right now and that until then, I would be staying with my parents. As of now, I have put each and every thought of getting a divorce on hold. Because I really want to do right by my kids and at this moment, I'm not sure what that would mean. A divorce is a big deal and once I get involved, I can never go back. So whatever I have to do, I have to think about it very carefully and I don't want to make a mistake. This is why I have

decided that I'm going to take my time and talk about this to my husband, a couple of times more, and if we are still not able to come to a conclusion that works for both of us, then I might, but I'm treating that as a last option right now. Update 2, hey, so two days ago, my husband visited me and I'm still thinking about what I want to do. But a couple of hours ago, I did receive a text from Agnes, and that was quite surprising because she was actually apologizing to me. Of course, the tone was very passive-aggressive, and it was a lot of It was very obvious to me that she didn't really want to apologize, but she still did. Even if it was just for the sake of maintaining a civil relationship, she did.

She told me that she had heard from her son that I had left home with the kids and she knew that she was part of the reason that I had done this, so she felt like it was her responsibility to try and make this right. Personally, I don't agree with her. This is between me and my husband and maybe she was a part of the reason why we had a fight in the first place, but she can't exactly help us sort this out. Anyway, she said that she really didn't want us to separate because that might not be the best move for the kids. Again, I can't agree with that because I think if we separate right now, it might be better for them in the long run because they'll never have known us as a couple in the

first place. I think that's a better alternative than sticking together, being toxic for a couple of years, and then traumatizing both our children before we eventually part ways. Anyway, I'm not thinking about a divorce right now, so that doesn't actually apply. Regardless of that, Agnes apologized and said that if this helped the situation, she would be glad to say that she was sorry about how she treated me. Even though she is still going to maintain that she was only trying to look out for my health and make sure that I didn't compromise my well-being. She claimed that he came from an era where being skinny was considered the healthiest and

maybe she was mistaken, but that's what she had been raised to believe, and she had been imposing on me, which was wrong. If I'm being frank, her apology was all over the place and it was kind of contradictory in itself, but hey, at least I received one and that's something to think about. I'm not sure if my husband had put her up to this or not, but it doesn't matter. Like I said, my relationship with my husband does not depend on her apology. I replied to Agnes and told her that it was fine, that I forgive her and I'm still thinking about what I want to do about the situation with my husband, but I'm thankful that she took the initiative to apologize to me. But yes, I still have no idea what to do so some advice would be greatly welcome.

Update 3, hey, it has been two weeks since I left home and for the past two weeks, my husband and I have been talking about everything back and forth. At first, he would only visit to see the kids and ask me if I had changed my mind and I would say no. And then, we would have another argument about who was being selfish. But both of us got pretty exasperated after one point. It got really annoying, so I just told him that maybe it would be for the best to just end it and move on with our lives since we were obviously never going to be able to work this out. I think that was about 10 days ago and when I said that, he got really quiet and asked me if that was really what I wanted. And that forced me to really think about the situation,

whether that was what I wanted or not, and honestly, I didn't. What I really wanted is, was for him to understand me, to apologize to me, and to make everything right again. That was what I really wanted and that's what I told him. That day, he told me that he wanted the same thing as well because, at the end of the day, we really loved each other. We had been together for six years, we had kids together now and I don't know but this seems like something worth fighting for. That day, he told me that he was going to come back the next day after work with a clearer head and we would try to sort things out. Because obviously, if both of us wanted to make it for each other, there was no reason for us to get a divorce. And I decided to do the

same, to think about everything with a clearer head and keep an open mind. To try and understand him instead of trying to defeat him, just so that we would be able to make this work. After that, he started visiting every day and there was a lot of explaining, a lot of listening, some arguing, some apologizing and a lot of reassurance. Two days ago, we felt like we had finally been able to sort things out and it was really relieving because I did not want to leave him. He promised me that he would tell his family and especially Agnes, that right now, it was not the perfect time to visit us so frequently and that we needed our own space. And I would apologize to the rest of his family for my outburst

the other day at my party. We have also promised each other that from now on, it's going to be us against the problem and not us versus each other since that's clearly not going to lead us anywhere and it's only going to hurt each other. We don't want that and we definitely don't want to hurt the kids, so we're going to try and be better partners so we can eventually be better parents. I'm going back home with him tomorrow and my parents are also pretty happy about the way we were able to deal with this. So I guess all's well that ends well. Thank you so much for all the advice.