Reddit Stories - ULTIMATUM_ BETRAYAL, Wedding Gown Ruined, and a Heart-WRENCHING Choice_

Episode Date: September 11, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #ultimatum_betrayal #weddinggownruined #heartwrenchingchoice #relationships #drama  Summary: A woman faces a heart-wrenching choice after her ultimatum leads to the betrayal of her best friend, resulting in a ruined wedding gown. Reddit users share their perspectives on the difficult situation.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, drama, friendship, betrayal, wedding, ultimatum, choice, decision, conflict, support, advice, community, emotional, dilemmaBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse is insisting I sever connections with my closest companion after she damaged my spouse's wedding gown, but my companion argues that my spouse lacks a sense of humor. Ailey and I met through a mutual friend in 2012 during a pub quiz at university. I was quite attracted to her and actually told her so at the end of the evening, but she told me she had a boyfriend even though she was flattered all the same. Fast forward three years later. I meet Eliza at the Edinburgh Fringe and we just clicked immediately.

Politics, music, cinema, whatever the subject approached, there was a spark that I'd never felt with anyone else. Like she just made sense with me. Her personality was just vivid. It's hard to describe, but I'll try. On first impression, she was so knowledgeable and enthusiastic, I was taken aback by her intensity. From that point onwards, we were inseparable and I was dead certain of our future together long before we got engaged. Enter Ailey again. I start a new job at an advertising firm with a position in web design and she was one of the only people I knew.

At first it was a little awkward given our history, especially considering that she was now married to the boyfriend she was dating back then. But there was no one else I knew at the firm and we both had partners at this point, so it couldn't hurt to be friends, right? And to be honest, I'm glad because I feel like our chemistry as friends superseded any potential we might have had as a couple. She's clever and has a bit of a cheeky personality. I'm quite dry and sarcastic myself, so I reckon we have a pretty fun dynamic.

Eliza doesn't seem to feel that way, though. Sometimes when it's been the three of us she has expressed a feeling of being left out or that Ailey has been making fun of her. I don't see it, it's just our dynamic. But there have been a couple of nights where Eliza's been in tears because of something that Ailey has said. One time Eliza got out of her seat and Ailey sat down where she was sitting to show me a video on YouTube.

When Eliza came back and she saw Ailey leaning next to me and was upset for the rest of the night. Sometimes there have been times when Ailey has said something that Eliza has read as a come on. Like when I said I missed swimming because I felt out of it. of shape Ailey said the two of us should go together with a playful punch. Eliza didn't say anything at the time but her discomfort was visible. Things really came to a head though on our wedding and I think the stress of it really got to Eliza.

During the reception Ailey bumped into her and red wine spilled all over her dress. She was bawling the entire evening. We're now on our honeymoon and Eliza has said she hopes for a fresh start but she feels like Ailey might have spilled her wine on purpose. She's suggesting that I cut ties with her and if I'm honest I'm not so sure I want to. Where do I go from here? Comments where OPP has replied. Noy thanks.

The number of times I've bumped into someone and spilt my drink on them is exactly once in my entire life and I was a shit-faced teenager. You are either astoundingly naive or aily is somehow the unluckiest woman in the world to accidentally spill her red wine on the bride on her wedding day. I think you know which one is more likely. Your wife won't be staying your wife for much longer unless you start actually listening to her and stop dismissing all of her fears as baseless insecurities. Goop. Ailey was getting a drink from the bar, Eliza had taken off part of her gown for dining and dancing purposes and was leaving our bedroom to return to our table, they bumped into each other and

Eliza had a huge red stain over her dress. Ailey made an offhand joke and fled, and Eliza read. ran up to me in bits and pieces. It sounded really bad when Eliza told me, and she was in bits about the wine spilling all over her dress, and I went to Ailey and asked her what the hell she was up to. Ailey was so mortified and told me she wanted to sink into a hole, she's dyspraxic and has struggled with falling at impromptu moments. I've actually witnessed it happening before, there was a meeting at work and she gets our colleagues coffee, the moment she came and she tripped and fell, coffee flying everywhere. RIP underscore dirtbag. Ailey bumped into your wife and her

wedding dress, spilling wine all over it, and made an offhand joke before fleeing. What kind of response is that? Goop. She's a really awkward person and doesn't know how to interact with people sometimes. There have been times I've been upset with her because of how glib she's been about personal issues. Star Valiant So someone who has a habit of accidentally saying or doing things that make your wife cry accidentally also managed to spill red wine over her white dress on the biggest day of her life, and you don't think that's at all suspicious. If you knew, and imagine here that you somehow knew for certain, that she'd done it on purpose, what would your reaction be? Would it change how you thought about her? Give it some thought. I would be really heard if Ailey was doing it on purpose. I love Eliza and want us to be happy and I can see that I've really fucked up here, multiple times.

Ailey is a good friend, but if she's deliberately being a wind-up merchant and harming my marriage, then I'll have to cut the cord and stop chumming up to her so much. Eliza sometimes says to me that she can intuit people's opinions and feelings within minutes of meeting them. I've never been like that, my folks have always said that I'm terrible with picking up on basic things. I was at an aunt's house when I was a kid, talking her ear off and she said, oh, it's getting late multiple times, it was only until my mum dragged me out that I picked up that she wanted me to leave. Symbol, Ferran.

It really sounds like you're putting your friend first. No wonder your wife is unhappy. She comes back in tears from hanging out, and you still invite Ailey to the wedding. What was that conversation like? Whoop. She got really upset one time during banter because me and Ailey liked to roast each other regularly and Ailey roasted her a little too hard, I guess. We were singling out things to insult each other on and the subject went to Eliza and Eliza mentioned that she had webbed feet. Since then Ailes called her leapfrog.

When I say it, Eliza takes it in good stride but when Ailey says it it's this massive problem. I don't get it. Eliza has suggested that Ailey's being serious when she says, says it as opposed to when I do, but she roasts me the same way too. She said I looked like a yugelos poodle that day because I was wearing baggy metal clothes and hadn't styled my hair so it was frizzing all over the place. Secret Beans 1367. Why haven't you stuck up for your wife all those times Ailey has hurt her? Oop. I guess because I didn't know that I needed to. It seems like it's a prospective thing. Eliza is a passionate person who cries.

at Deluxe puppy adverts and the intensity is great for a partner but it can cause problems with friendships. She reads a lot into things her friends do thinking it's intentional and when she talks to them about what they did, they will be completely shocked and unaware that they hurt her. Ailey is a very sarcastic person in general who rolls with the punches and to me it reads like they struggle to gel rather than intentional cruelty on Ailey's part but for what it's worth Ailey has told me that she's really keen on Eliza and thinks she's a top girl. 1, January 25th, 2024. Posting this here BC it keeps getting deleted on relationship underscore advice. You know I posted here recently looking for guidance on how to deal with my wife's

anxiety and hurt revolving around my friend and a seems like I got read the riot act, probably rightly so. I have been completely inconsiderate of Eliza's feelings and how she feels about these roostings and you alerted me to the possibility that Ailey is doing this just to be a little shit. I sat down with Eliza and we had an in-death conversation about the wedding incident. I got her to describe the event step by step in her own words. I was leaving the lobby into the dining venue and Ailey was a little tipsy at this point and already stumbling from the bar. She was initially walking slower but seemed to speed up when she saw me. We collided into each other and she pulled an ashamed face and made a joke about

me looking like Rosamund Pike and Gone Girl before scurrying away. She seemed embarrassed in the moment but she didn't apologize to me. I heard from other people that she was appalled about what happened but I never heard anything from her directly. It just paints a picture of habitual microaggressions from her that is festered into this ugly anxiety whenever she's around. I pretty much predict whenever I'm in her vicinity, there will be weird behavior or uncomfortable comments and I don't want to continue being in a situation where my husband brings someone into my home, who resents me simply for existing. That was a real gut punch to me. For me, I always felt like it was just insecurity about me fancying Ailey for 10 minutes yonks ago, but Eliza is really torn up about

this. She said that the honeymoon has been miserable because the memory has been swirling around in her mind and she feels like I'm going to downplay or dismiss it. No one should feel like they can't just be themselves, especially not at home. I didn't realize what a shithead I'd been and I apologized profusely to eliza and decided to phone up Ailey to confront her about the wedding incident. So I did and it, it didn't go well. Basically I told her that Eliza was really hurt by the wedding dress incident, that she had been hurt by her behavior for a long time and that if she can't bring herself to apologize to Eliza's face at least she should pay towards getting the stain removed, and if she couldn't bring herself to even do that then our friendship had to stop.

To say that Ailey was taken aback would be an understatement. She was completely blindsided, asking what was wrong with their interactions that made me want to go to such extremes. I mentioned the leapfrog comment and she went, but even you call her that, stating that Eliza called her Garfield cause of her weight and bright orange hair. When I mentioned that she ran towards Eliza and didn't apologize for spilling wine on her, she got really upset and started shouting that she wasn't running at her to hurl wine at her dress, she was running from her because she didn't want to talk at that moment because she feels like Eliza hates her and she doesn't know how to go about it.

She started pointing out times when Eliza had been funny towards her and I basically said right, but this isn't about when Eliza has hurt you, this is about when you've heard Eliza and it's got so bad that it needs to be talked about and she started laughing, it was really uncomfortable. I know she does this when she's anxious about something. Eliza asked me if things were okay from the other room and Ailey demanded if this was set up and when I tried to explain myself, she hung up. Her husband even phoned me, insisting that he would pay for the damage if it is less stressful for me.

I told Ewan, husband, that I appreciated that, but I needed to know where Ailey stood regarding what I just said. Ewan told me that Ailey makes jokes whenever she's anxious or uncomfortable and that they've wrote about it in the past but the wedding dress incident is a major issue and that he wants to smooth things over as much as I do. So him and Ailey will pay towards dry cleaning, whilst a condolences hamper is sent to Eliza. Eliza was relieved that Ewan was so understanding, but she wasn't thrilled about Ailey's reaction. Basically said that the Garfield comment was always about her hair and never about her weight

and that she was deliberately trying to make it seem like the bad behavior went both ways. I don't think it's went both ways either, because I've never noticed Eliza roasting Ailey in any real way. Eliza has suggested we try marriage counseling, I was a bit shocked at first because we've only been married a month, L.O.L. But I decided maybe that's the way forward because if Eliza reckons that we need counseling for it, then it's clearly a problem. So yeah, me and Eliza are going to try marriage counseling and my future with Ailey is uncertain. Update 2, February 3, 2024. So after the rightly deserved bull locking you gave me in the last post, you'll be happy to learn that Ailey and me aren't talking anymore, and it's probably for the best. Eliza and me received the condolences hamper in the post and it was primarily, soaps.

Not in the sense of fragrant body lotions or luxury packages, or even organic bars, just regular, run-of-the-mill soaps. There were two dispensers that were faintly rose-scented but it was so mild you had to really look for it. There were several white soap bars that didn't smell of anything, really, it was so confusing. The only items that suggested it was a proper gift basket were a six pounds bottle of chardonnay and a box of roses chocolates that looked a fair deal more effort than the cleaning equipment at the nearest pop. The weirdest item though. A pair of women's underpants. Not lingerie, not a lot.

anything lacy or risque, like, just a plain pair of white pants. They were actually kind of grubby, there was a faint orange lining on them. It just didn't make sense to me because if they were meant to be for Eliza, they were at least six sizes too big. And if Ailey really was making a move on me, they were again around six sizes too big, also, why would she choose such disgusting pants to try and seduce me. It weirded me out so much I rang up Ailey, asking why I had soap and grubby knickers in our condolences hamper. She kept making dry remarks to her husband about there being a strange noise on the other end of the phone. I didn't get anywhere with her and insisted that Ewan should talk to me instead because getting anywhere with her was like pulling teeth at this rate.

After some disgruntled remarks, she passed the phone over. Ewan asked what was up and I explained the whole situation. He was momentarily surprised when I described the hamper as looking like the luggage of a janitor that lived under a bridge. He said that it was a small package, but there should have been several luxury gifts that weren't simply sanitary items. Apparently there was a bottle of chardonnay, a bottle of Shiraz, one box of rose chocolates, a lint bar, a selection of crackers and some assorted cheeses. Somehow that got replaced with leftover soaps bought in bulk and as wife fronts that Ailey found ever so hilarious and apparently found ever so hilarious to send to my wife. He was hugely apologetic and embarrassed,

stating that he'd pay us the cost towards the lost items. I was raging at this point, but I tried to be collected and said right, let me talk to Ailey again, please, and he got her on the line. I told her that she had the chance to make it right and she blew it, and she groaned and told me that Eliza's jealousy has crippled our friendship and she was sick of having to flatter her insecurities. I said no, you were Eliza's insecurities and we rode for a bit. Eventually it ended with me saying that this had been building up for a while and that her attitude had been giving Eliza grief for years. Ailey said none of this would be happening if Eliza knew how to take a joke and I just told her that a joke isn't ruining her wedding dress and then sending

her your husband's stinky wife fronts. She said I sold out my principles. for a girl who's threatened by other women. After the phone call Eliza was not so much hurt as she was confused at first, because she was wondering if there was a mix-up until I explained to her the joke. She seemed pretty much resigned to the idea that Ailey would always be a shit, and I told her the likelihood of that happening was very slim considering she's cut me off for standing up for her. I think the counseling has made us stronger and in a weird way I'm glad this happened.

Because if your friendship falls apart the moment you try to, to protect your loved ones, then they probably weren't that strong friendships at all. Shame I won't be speaking to you and from now on, he's a top lad. Comments where Ope has replied. Material underscore cellist. I just hope that you finally feel stupid and you apologize and make it up to your wife. How the fuck didn't you know your friend was bullying your wife is beyond me? Ope.

I have apologized to Eliza, multiple times. I should have been more assertive with Ailey and told her to cut her shit out then. I'm aware that this is entirely on me for being permissive towards someone who was really just being a bully towards my wife. I'm trying to do better. Mixed meat. I'm glad you are seeing the light, but why were you permissive before? Why was it only now did you finally believe her and confront Ailey? Did you like the attention?

Was it easier to dismiss your wife's concerns as being petty over a crush than, to critically consider her feelings and a situation. Also, don't you still work with Ailey? Ope. I think it was because I saw it as lost in translation, like it was something that worked with me and Ailey but didn't with her, and assumed that she would figure that it was the sort of banter we encouraged and joined in at some point. Elizas from a very sincere, straightforward family that say what they mean and don't necessarily

make jokes like I do. The whole idea would be lost on them and they would be really confused. and upset thinking that we were actually insulting each other. Eliza's brother nearly jumped me once just because I said that's plenty when she was rambling on a little, that's a still game reference for the transatlantic pals across the world. I like it when she rambles, I think it's cute and it's a running joke between us. But he found it so personally offensive, though, like he thought that I was just telling her to put a sock in it and started ranting at me for disrespecting his sister like that.

Eliza started hiding her face in shame, it was that extreme a reaction. I think I should have been paying more attention, though. Eliza told me that when she's tried to chat to her Ailes, just been like I don't do small talk and they've sat in complete silence. Apparently when she tried to chat at another time, she was totally non-committal and yawned so loud that it woke up our dog. I only found this out recently because Eliza didn't want to inconvenience me and I feel so ashamed of my behavior.

I felt like there was just crossed wires, but Ailey really was bullying Eliza and finding creative ways to essentially make her uncomfortable and squeeze her out of our dynamic. I don't know why or how she thought any of that was appropriate, but it's irrelevant as my wife should never be scared of telling me how she really feels. Yeah, I work with Ailey. That is a complication that I hadn't considered. I wouldn't worry about her causing drama in the workplace

because she values her job greatly, but I wouldn't be surprised about some passive-aggressive attitude being thrown my way. Oh well. I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens, but I'm uninterested in any form of reconciliation if she's going to be that disrespectful. Additional info. The reason that Ailey is out my life is because I raised the point in the first place. That's more to do with her than me or my passivity. And yeah, I'm aware it was a problem, you're damn right it was a problem, but it feels like even when I'm trying to write the wrong I'm getting a finger-wagging really. I don't mind criticism, but at this point it feels a bit like I'm getting blows for new reasons. I didn't pick up on Ailey's shitty behavior before. I felt like it was crossed wires at

first, but the reason why she isn't talking to me is because I told her off for treating Eliza like shit to begin with. I should have done it long ago, I acknowledge that, but let's not start fantasizing about a future where I'll just welcome her back in with open arms for treating my wife like that. It's not going to happen because I want a future with Eliza much more than I want a pal to have lunch with. I've messed up, I know I have and I want to change it. Let's just be moving forward. Uppwin asked if the underwear was his. I didn't. I stopped fancying Ailey in 2012 after she said she was taken. I didn't sleep with her and I don't really care for that kind of speculation, it's just untrue and adds more fuel to the fire. People come across this

stuff Earl and it just exacerbates problems. Eliza came across one of the videos about my post on YouTube or TikTok and it stirred up a lot of painful feelings, especially reading about your reactions. She was shocked that I sought online advice, because I usually try to handle things by myself. She was more shocked by the comments that were overwhelmingly on her side. It helped her acknowledge how shitty and awful everything done to her had been and we had a long talk about it. I've agreed not to talk to Ailey, as she is clearly only interested in causing trouble for a cheap laugh. I mentioned the situation to H.R., even the stinky underpants, and they said they'd speak to her and keep an eye on any potential developments but so far no trouble. As far as I know Ailey's been having lunch with another colleague and I now go down to a

neighboring cafe to grab a baked potato. Whenever I've been in her vicinity she's just mumbled all right so I'm guessing there were some words, between her and HR I mean. Oop on how his wife is doing. She's doing well. So far, so good. We had a really successful couple's counseling session and it opened my eyes towards so much of my behavior, and how I was essentially permitting bad behavior for so long. I realized that it was

because investing in something emotionally heavy or even just a problem makes me really anxious, so I try to distance myself from conflict. It used to be whenever my relatives fought, they would sort of figuratively pull at me like a rag doll into taking their side, and that behavior upset me so much that any sort of conflict was off-putting to me. But I realized that when I essentially do that, I leave problems completely unsolved and cause my loved ones' pain due to my own anxieties. So if someone is mistreating someone I love, I'm not in their corner like I should be. A big part of these counseling sessions is figuring out how to manage accountability and not just being like, oh, it's my childhood, blah, blah, blah, and stepping up the mantle into making

things right. Me and Eliza now do daily check-ins, like how are you feeling today, how are you managing that, is there anything you're not happy about and what can be done to help you? So far it's been really helpful, as she seems in much better spirits and we've been having date nights again, which is great. Aside from the occasional disagreement, things genuinely have improved. As for A. Lee, well, things haven't changed much, but luckily the work situation has been tolerable. I'm surprised how much I like eating outside work, TBH. Can't stand the canteenes, the food is shite.