Reddit Stories - UNFORGIVEN CONDEMNED By Dad BEFORE Birth Denied Aisle Stroll

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #parentingwoes #unforgiven #condemned #deniedbirthSummary: A tale of a father's harsh judgment before his child's birth, leading to a denied aisle stroll. The impact of this condemnation shapes the family dynamic, exploring themes of forgiveness and redemption in the face of past mistakes.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familydrama, parentingwoes, unforgivencondemned, deniedbirth, aislestroll, forgiveness, redemption, familydynamic, pastmistakes, harshjudgment, fatherchildrelationship, judgmentbeforebirth, familyconflict, emotionalbaggage, generationaltraumaBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Father accused me of destroying his marriage long before my birth, thus he declined to escort me down the aisle as he desired to be with his biological daughter. During the wedding, my mom and dad had my sister, Emily, when they were quite young, which meant she pretty much grew up alongside them in a way. For the longest time, it was just the three of them almost like a little team. Since both of my parents have always been highly career-driven, they instilled that same ambition in Emily from an early age.

The three of them seemed to share a sort of mutual focus on success, always striving for more in their careers and making the most of life. But with that kind of focus comes its own set of challenges, and things weren't always as smooth as they might have seemed on the outside. Before I came into the picture, things started to get tough between my parents. Both of them were so absorbed in their work that it began to take a toll on their relationship. My dad, for some reason, started to suspect that my mom might have been having an affair. At the time, they had stopped going on date nights or spending quality time together.

So, I guess my dad's insecurities just got the better of him when, in reality, my mom wasn't seeing anyone else. She was just swamped with work, balancing her demanding job with the responsibility of taking care of Emily in managing the household. The weight of all that must have been exhausting for her. It's no surprise that things between them became strained under all that pressure. One day, my mom collapsed, out of nowhere, in her office. People assumed it might have been due to extreme work stress, however, when she was rushed

to the hospital, the doctors discovered that she was three months pregnant with me. The craziest part. She hadn't even noticed. Between the intense demands of her job, managing the household, and taking care of Emily, it seems the signs of her pregnancy just slipped under the radar. But the real storm came when my dad heard the news. His initial reaction wasn't excitement or surprise, it was disbelief and not the good kind. He outright refused to believe that the baby my mom was carrying was his.

This accusation hit my mom hard. She was unfairly being accused of something as hurtful as infidelity. They argued bitterly, my mom defending herself, insisting she had never been unfaithful, but it seemed like my dad was too caught up in his own suspicions to listen. Emily, who was old enough to witness everything, has told me that my dad even moved out that same night. He told my mom that he wasn't going to return home until she could prove that I was his child. Well, when the DNA results finally came back, confirming that I was indeed my dad's child,

he was dumbstruck. My paternal grandparents were furious with him after that. They tore into him for being such a terrible husband, for doubting my mom, who had done nothing but remain loyal and carry the weight of their family on her shoulders. They stood by my mom's side, calling out their son for his lack of trust and faith in her. After facing the wrath of his own parents and realizing how deeply he had hurt my mom, my dad was left with no choice but to beg my mom for her forgiveness. He eventually moved back in for the sake of us, but things were never quite the same between them. From that point on, my mom made it clear to him that the dynamic in their marriage was going to change.

She had always been the one to go above and beyond, taking on more than her fair share of responsibilities both at work and at home. But after everything that happened, she had realized just how precious her life was. She wasn't willing to continue carrying that burden alone. She told my dad, in no uncertain terms, that he had to step up around the house. If he didn't, she was prepared to walk away. It wasn't just a warning, it was a shift in power in their relationship. My dad, who had no choice but to acknowledge his mistakes, had to give in to all her demand. From that point on, things were different.

They may have reconciled, but the trust between them had been fractured, and my mom was no longer willing to go the extra mile to hold everything together alone. For this very reason, my dad has always seemed to carry this belief that I was somehow the cause of this fracture in their marriage. He believes that it was because of me that their marriage was never the same. I know it sounds almost unbelievable childish even, but that's exactly the way. way he operates. In his mind, it's as if my existence triggered the unraveling of their relationship like I was the reason he suspected my mom in the first place and the reason their

marriage completely changed afterward. Ever since I was born, he's held this bizarre grudge against me and has always sort of ostracized me from his life. It's hard to explain, but my dad is incredibly manipulative in this way. In front of others, he puts on this act he's kind, pleasant, and even affectionate towards me when other people are around. But the moment it's just the two of us or even just mom or Emily, his attitude towards me changes completely. He treats me with such coldness, as if I shouldn't even exist. It's like flipping a switch.

I have always felt his dislike towards me ever since I was a child. Even my sister, Emily, remembers how distant and neglectful he was when I was born. She's told me stories of how sometimes whenever I would cry, my dad would just let me be, not making any effort to comfort me, hold me, or even acknowledged that I was upset. He would leave all of that to my mom, Emily, or the babysitter anyone but him. It was like he had decided from the start that I wasn't his responsibility, that I was an unnecessary addition to their lives. He has always made me feel like a burden like I didn't belong, and that feeling has stuck with me

for as long as I can remember. The only time he ever seemed to take any notice of me was when I excelled at something, particularly in school. In high school, I became this ardent people-pleaser, desperately seeking my dad's approval in the only way I knew how through my achievements. I worked incredibly hard just to get good grades because I knew that was the only thing that would make him acknowledge me. It was like his attention came with a price tag, I had to perform, I had to be exceptional,

or else I was invisible to him. It wasn't about love or connection, it was transactional, and I spent so many years chasing that approval, hoping it would be enough to make him see me. But deep down, I always knew that no matter how well I did, I could never change the way he saw me. As I grew older and went off to college, I slowly started realizing that no matter how hard I worked or how well I performed academically, I would always fall short in comparison to Emily and my dad's eyes. It didn't matter how many good grades I brought home or how much effort

I put into trying to please him I was always a distant second to my sister. However, I have never resented my sister over this. Emily and I have always had a great relationship, and I'm so grateful for her. Because of the big age difference between us, she's always treated me almost like her own child. She's incredibly loving, nurturing, and protective of me. Emily has always tried to make sure I felt included, loved, and valued. Although I don't blame her for any of my dad's behavior towards me, deep down, I do sometimes feel a tiny bit jealous that she gets to have a good relationship with our dad in a way that I never can. Emily and my dad have this close bond, their own special connection that I've always been on the outside of.

I think part of me has always yearned for that same kind of relationship with him, but no matter how much my mom pushed my dad to include me, he never really did. He always made me feel like an outsider like I didn't belong in that part of their world. My mom tried so hard to get him to make an effort, but it always seemed like his heart just wasn't in it when it came to me. That hurt more than I can even put into words. Hence, after I graduated from college, I realized I had spent so much of my life running after my dad's attention, desperately seeking the approval. that never came, and it was draining. I was exhausted from always feeling like I wasn't enough like I was chasing something I could never reach. So, I made the decision to stop. I stopped

running after my dad, stopped trying to make him see me, and instead turned inward. I started going to therapy, where I could finally confront all the pain and frustration I had carried for so long. Therapy helped me work through my feelings of abandonment and exclusion, and it allowed me to begin healing. As I focused more on myself, I started putting my energy into things that truly mattered my personal growth and my career. I poured myself into my work for years. It wasn't easy, and it took time, but I have eventually reached a point where I no longer need my dad's validation as I did before. I have found peace in accepting that I may never have the relationship I always wanted with him. Three years ago, John came into my life, and everything changed for the better.

He's charming and tall, and from the moment we met, we just clicked. It didn't take long for us to fall in love, and being with him has made me a stronger and better woman. John has been my rock, always supporting me and encouraging me to grow. What I love most about him is that he knows everything about my family history, all the ups and downs, especially the complicated relationship I have with my dad, and doesn't judge me. In fact, he strongly dislikes my dad, and honestly, I don't blame him. Whenever John has had to meet my dad during family events, like lunches or gatherings,

he usually ignores him, just like my dad has ignored me for most of my life. I think that's his subtle way of standing up for me. If they ever do talk, it's very surface level, with John giving polite but brief one-word answers. My dad has never said anything to me about John's behavior, probably because he doesn't want to acknowledge that John is simply treating him the way he's treated me all these years. A few months ago, John proposed to me, and of course, I said yes. Since then, we've been in full wedding planning mode, excited about this new chapter of our

lives together. Both John and I have great jobs, and we've always been on the same page about remaining child-free, so that's given us the financial freedom to plan the wedding of our dreams without worrying about future expenses. We've been able to set aside a lot of money to make this day a huge celebration, inviting all our family and friends, even those who live far away, to come and be a part of it. We're both really looking forward to having one day where we can celebrate our love and everything we've built together, surrounded by the people who mean the most to us. It feels like the perfect start to the rest of our lives. During the wedding planning, my mom kept insisting that I should ask my dad to walk me down the aisle, which was something I had thought about briefly but had never really felt comfortable with. Given the complicated relationship I've always had with my dad, I just didn't want him to have that role on my special day.

It didn't feel right, and the idea of him walking me down the aisle didn't hold the sentimental value it might have for others. Instead, I wanted my uncle my mom's brother to be the one to walk me down the aisle. My uncle is one of my absolute favorite people in the world, right after my mom and Emily. He's always been such a fun, supportive presence in my life, and I've always felt a special connection with him. He's been there for me in ways that my dad never was, and the idea of having him by my side on such an important day just made sense to me. It felt natural and fitting for him to be the one to walk me into this new chapter of my life. However, when I told my mom that I wanted to ask my uncle to do the honors, she didn't take it well. She went on a bit of a

rant, telling me that it would be insensitive to ask my uncle when my dad was still alive. She was worried about how it would look to the rest of the family, saying that everyone would find it weird and questionable if I chose anyone but my dad for such a traditional role. I understood where she was coming from to an extent after all. The father walking the bride down the aisle is a long-standing tradition, and to the outside world, it might seem odd or even disrespectful to go against that. But for me, it wasn't about tradition or appearances, it was about choosing someone who had truly been there for me, someone who I felt connected to in a way I never did with my dad.

I felt torn between honoring what my mom, and probably a lot of the extended family, expected and staying true to what I wanted for my own wedding day. However, when my mom kept insisting, I reluctantly gave into my mom's wishes and agreed to ask my dad to walk me down the aisle, even though it wasn't what I truly wanted. I knew it was important to her, and part of me just wanted to avoid any further conflict or drama leading up to the wedding.

But when I finally did ask my dad, his reaction was far worse than I had anticipated. Instead of being touched or even considering the general, he acted like I had asked him something deeply offensive. He straight up told me that he hadn't even considered walking me down the aisle because, in his own words, he didn't really see me as his real daughter. Hearing those words, while hurtful, wasn't exactly shocking because I'd heard him say similar things before.

I've grown almost numb to his coldness over the years. I just sighed and tried to push forward with the conversation, explaining how mom felt and how much it would mean to her. I thought maybe if I framed it that way how it wasn't even about him or me, but about what mom wanted he might soften or at least agree for the sake of family harmony. But my dad just shrugged, completely indifferent, and went on to argue that the only daughter he ever wanted to walk down the aisle was Emily. For context, Emily has been very clear with everyone that she plans on remaining single for life. She's refused the idea of marriage entirely, which has apparently been a headache for my parents for a long time, though that's a

whole other story. Regardless of her decision to stay single, the fact that my dad could so bluntly say that he only considered Emily as his daughter for something as symbolic as walking down the aisle really cut deep. He continued by casually suggesting that in his opinion, I didn't really need anyone to walk me down the aisle as it was all just nonsense tradition. It was his way of dismissing the entire thing. His words only confirmed what I've known all along that I was never going to get the father-daughter moment even during my wedding. I didn't argue much after that. There didn't seem to be a point.

I just left the conversation feeling defeated, but not surprised. It was like another reminder of the emotional distance that has always been there between us. After going back home and giving it some thought, I decided to follow my heart and ask my uncle to walk me down the aisle. When I approached him with the request, he was absolutely thrilled. He said yes immediately, excited and honored to be a part of such an important moment in my life. His genuine happiness made me feel so reassured about my decision, and I knew it was the right choice. I also spoke to both Emily and my mom about my conversation with my dad and how he had refused to walk me down the aisle. They were both disappointed in him, though not entirely surprised given his

behavior over the years. Emily, especially, was frustrated because she's always been more aware of how poorly my dad has treated me when compared to her. Both of them agreed that if my dad didn't want to be there for me in that way, then asking my uncle was a great idea. Their support meant a lot to me, and it made the whole situation easier to handle. On the day of the wedding, my uncle proudly walked me down the aisle. It was such a beautiful ceremony, and I couldn't have asked for a better person to be by my side. The love and joy in that moment felt overwhelming, and when John and I read our vows, there wasn't a single dry eye in the room. Everyone was so moved by the emotion and sincerity of our words. It was one of those rare moments where everything

felt perfect, like the culmination of all the love and effort we had put into our relationship. My dad attended the wedding, but true to form, he barely interacted with John or me. He didn't come up to congratulate us, and during the family photo sessions, he kept his distance, almost as if we weren't even there. I tried not to let this ruin my day, focusing instead on the people who genuinely cared about me and were happy to celebrate with us. However, it seems that other guests seem to have taken note about my dad's strange behavior towards me because, after the wedding, word has gotten around about how he refused to walk me

down the aisle. I am not sure whether it was Emily, my mom, or my uncle who told people, but whoever it was, they definitely made sure everyone knew the truth. Since then, my dad has been getting an earful from various family members and guests. Apparently, they've been openly criticizing him, calling him out for being a deadbeat father and sarcastically congratulating him for being a horrible father figure. I heard about all of this from my mom, when she called to share a laugh about what my dad is currently experiencing. I have to say that it's interesting to see how my dad is finally being held accountable by so many people in the family. I thought eventually this would pass, however, last week, my dad started to leave me voicemails, asking me if I could clarify

to everyone how he was always there for me the best that he could since he has been getting a lot of hate. He wanted me to start telling people that it was me who didn't ask him to walk me down the aisle. Obviously, I refused to do this since this was completely untrue. I was also not going to lie for him or try to fix his image. After a few attempts to convince me, he seemed to give up, so I thought maybe he had accepted the situation and moved on. Again, today, he reached out to me, and this time he demanded that I clear his name because he was now losing relationships with people because of what had been going around since my wedding. He went on to say how, this fallout with family members would ultimately affect Emily's future wedding. He told me that he

was starting to get worried that with how things were going for him if Emily ever got married, she might not even ask him to walk her down the aisle, and that my tantrum to not clarify things was ruining everything for him. I was extremely pissed off when I heard this. I mean, my dad hasn't even once apologized to me or acknowledged what he had done to me was wrong. Instead, he was only worried about himself and his relationship with his darling daughter, Emily. He seemed concerned about what she might do or might not do in the hypothetical future. I firmly told him that I wasn't going to give him what he wanted. I reminded him that since he never saw me as his daughter, as he had made painfully clear to

me several times, he had no right to make these demands or even contact me further about it. I firmly told him that I wasn't going to clear his name and that he needed to deal with this issue on his own. After all, his wrongful actions led to the way everyone now views him, and I wasn't going to clean up a mess that he created. Since the afternoon, he's been bombarding me with messages, trying to guilt-trip me, saying things like how unfair it is that everyone in the family now sees him in a negative light and how I am making his life difficult for no reason. He's acting as if he's the victim in this whole situation, completely ignoring the years of emotional neglect and hurt he's caused me. It's frustrating. Ida Update 1. Thank you to everyone for your kind words.

As many of you have rightfully pointed out for my dad, it's all about appearances, and the fact that his actions might now have consequences for his image. He has never cared about me and he never will. Honestly, this situation has only solidified my decision to distance myself from him permanently. For everyone asking why I didn't do this earlier, it's because he wasn't really an important part of my life, and I had pretty much gotten used to not caring much about him. It was only because my mom wanted me to ask my dad to walk me down the aisle that this whole wound reopened. I thought maybe it would be a chance for reconciliation, but clearly it was a mistake.

Update 2. My husband had a talk with my dad today and has asked him to back off. John made it clear to my dad that he agreed with everyone in the family calling him a deadbeat because that is exactly who he is. My husband believes that my dad is a useless figure in my life who has never really contributed anything good. John pointed out to my dad how despite his resentment toward me I had achieved everything in my life and now that I was married, he was not going to allow anyone to talk to his wife that way. John firmly told my dad that if he had any further issues with me, he should reach out to him

instead of bothering me. Since then, my dad has been too afraid to send me any more texts. Update 3. To everyone who's been asking why my mom and Emily let things slide regarding my dad's treatment of me, I want to clarify that they have always taken my side. Ultimately, while they never let things slide with him, they also can't fully control my dad's behavior towards me either. Now, coming on to the actual update, I decided to have a conversation with my mom about everything and tell her exactly how I've always felt about my dad. I explained in detail to her how difficult it had been for me growing up with a father who resented me so much, and though I had tried to brush it off for years, now that I was a

grown woman and married, I was sick of dad still treating me like trash. I told my mom how he had blamed me since my birth for something that was beyond my control and ultimately, it felt like I had grown up without a father figure all my life. Hearing this, she teared up and begged for my forgiveness. She apologized for not protecting me more and admitted that she should have stood up for me better. I also told my mom that although dad had stopped texting me for now, there was no guarantee he wouldn't start pestering me again, so she needed to speak to him and ask him to back off as his words were starting to affect my mental health.

In the end, my mom gave me a little bit of my own. a big hug and assured me that she would address the issue with him immediately. It turns out that she, along with Emily, my uncle, and even my paternal grandparents, staged an intervention for my dad. From what I have gathered, they all confronted him about how he's been mistreating me for no valid reason. They made it clear that he was entirely in the wrong for blaming me all these years when he should have blamed himself for being foolish enough to doubt his loyal wife. While I don't know the exact details, of what was said during that intervention, it must have been pretty serious because my dad's

attitude shifted afterward. Following that intervention, my dad reached out to me again, but this time with a half-hearted apology. I am sure he was forced to do this. He acknowledged his wrongs but didn't exactly take full accountability for them. He admitted that, as much as he can't help but dislike me, he's going to keep those feelings to himself moving forward and stop bothering me with it. He then went on to apologize for refusing to walk me down the aisle and promise that he would never ask me again to clear his name with the rest of the family. I decided to take this opportunity to set a firm boundary with him once and for all. I told my dad that for the sake of my mental peace, I would be cutting him off. I wasn't willing to engage with someone who had

hurt me so deeply and repeatedly. He accepted my decision without much pushback. Updates. It's been seven months since I cut my dad out of my life. Although I still see my family, I make sure to avoid any events where my dad will be present, and luckily, he does the same. It turns out that four months ago, Emily also cut off her relationship with her dad. She moved to a new city and then blocked him from everywhere. Emily told me that she had always felt bad and guilty over how he had always treated her better than me and had been considering cutting him off for a while. The move seemed to give her the fresh start she needed to break free from him.

My mom mentioned how upsetting this was for my dad when he found out that Emily did not want to have a relationship with him any further, but there's nothing he can do about it now. I have to say these days I feel much lighter and happier. For years, I had carried the burden of trying to earn my dad's approval, of trying to understand why I was never good enough in his eyes. But severing ties with him has been the healthiest decision for me, and it's something I wish I had done sooner. Currently, I have been fully focused on my life, my marriage,

and the people who truly love and support me.