Reddit Stories - Unraveling Family Ties Betrayal and Hidden Secrets ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 2

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familybetrayal #hiddensecrets #drama #emotionalstories #compilationSummary: In Episode 2 of "Unraveling Family Ties," viewers delve into complex narratives of betrayal and hidden secrets within families. The compilation reveals emotional stories that challenge perceptions of loyalty and trust, showcasing how deep-rooted issues can surface and impact relationships in unexpected ways.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, familydrama, secrets, emotionalnarratives, storytelling, relationships, trustissues, conflictresolution, personalstories, familydynamics, psychologicaldrama, lifechallenges, humanexperience, narrativecompilation, episode2, unravelingfamilytiesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. Assist my colleague in selecting presence for her partner. However, my spouse's acquaintance spotted us in each other's company and informed her before I could clarify, leading my spouse to believe I am up to something shady. Cheating and keeps making comments about me wanting a younger woman. First of all, my 34M workplace has three floors, one floor has an even, number of guys and girls, the other two have mainly women. This new girl Alice joined a few months

ago, I didn't really know a whole lot about her, but we have hung out on a few Friday evening after work drinking sessions, not a whole lot of interaction prior to that, we just chat on occasion when we see each other at work or if she has to come to the floor I work on or I have to go down there. She is aware I am married, they met briefly at a company event shortly after Alice started working there, this was when I really first got introduced to her. Hell, most everyone here knows I'm married, two pictures on my desk are of my family. Anyway, the other day I was heading to lunch when Alice asked me to grab some lunch with her because she needed some advice. I said no problem. We went to lunch, there's a food court a

couple buildings away so we went there and I paid for both of us to grab some Thai food. We chatted for a while then she began asking for advice. which was the purpose of grabbing lunch together, she has a boyfriend, he's into fishing and hiking and rock climbing, that sort of thing. So am I. It's something my brothers and I as well as our sister grew up doing. One of the girls on her floor mentioned that I'm into these things and she should ask me, because she wanted advice about what kinds of gear to buy for him for his birthday.

She wanted to buy him a compilation of equipment, some fishing gear, some hiking, some climbing. So we chatted for a while about that and on her phone I showed her some supplies she could pick up for him and told her if she needed more help just ask. Then we went back to work and that was it. So I came home and forgot all about it, played with the kids, watched television for a bit, washed the dishes and that was it. It wasn't really something significant for me so I didn't mention it. Two days later my wife, Karen, asks me where I was for lunch that day, so I told her grabbing lunch with a coworker. She's angry and I'm pretty surprised as to why, I just told her Alice and I grabbed lunch, she wanted some help picking presents for her BF who has similar interests that I also have.

Told her I bought lunch, we chatted, I showed her some stuff she could buy on her phone and then we went back to work. I might as well have dug my own grave saying that. She's been absolutely furious the past couple of days, throwing scathing comments and that sort of thing. I'm pretty hurt. I don't see what I did wrong, maybe not telling her immediately was wrong, I guess, but I didn't do anything with ill intent toward her or our marriage so it just didn't bother me. It also didn't help that her friend saw us at the food court eating lunch which was who she heard it from. Now the thing about Alice, she's younger than Karen by 11 years and is a typically attractive girl,

perky and fairly cheerful. Quite a few guys hit on her when we're at those after work drinking sessions, so I guess this is a factor, because on Saturday, when I asked my wife if she wanted to grab some dinner, I got a very sullen, maybe you should get lunch with Alice in response. Another time she did mention maybe you just want a younger woman or something. I don't. I love my wife. I love my marriage. I'm a faithful man. I don't think what I did was so wrong, I get her hearing it from her friend might have made it sound much worse than it really was.

Yes, Alice is attractive and younger, but that doesn't matter to me, however it seems to bother my wife a lot. Was I really wrong here? How can I address this situation? Edit 1, since this is apparently so important, yes, I paid for my co-workers' lunch, I did it to break a $100 bill and she did in fact repay me immediately afterward. I didn't include this because where I'm from it's pretty common for one person to pay for everyone's food if everyone is buying from the same place than everyone else just reimburses the cash

afterward. Hope this clears up stuff a little, I didn't think it would be such a huge issue edit too. Also, yes, I have had lunch with coworkers before, sometimes in groups, sometimes just one-on-one, sometimes they're with guys and sometimes they're with female co-workers. This has never been an issue before, which is also why I didn't mention it. It wasn't important and it's not something that's bothered my wife before, just thought I'd put in that as well update. So it's been a few days since everything happened in Karen and I have talked things out. One of the first things I asked was why she got so angry about me having lunch with my coworker, the op, and its responses pretty much gave me a solid idea, but I wanted to hear it from

her. At first she said she didn't know, but after a while of not saying anything. She admitted that she'd been having a hard time at work lately and given that we'd both been busy plus hearing from her friend that she saw me with some young hot girl laughing at lunch made her feel like shit. She admitted that she got really insecure and afraid at the thought of me carrying on with a co-worker and the fact that she was younger and that her friend described Alice as hot all didn't help. She said that having kids plus a hard time at work plus gaining a few pounds, nothing significant at all, made her feel threatened at the thought of someone younger who hadn't been through all of that. She said she should have known I'd never do something like that

and that never once in our marriage had I ever given her reason to think that. I told her once again the reason why Alice and I had lunched that day and even showed her some of the stuff I showed Alice to purchase for her so. It didn't exactly go back to normal ASAP, but she did apologize for lashing out and not giving me an opportunity to explain myself as well as not trusting me. Since then we've had a couple of date nights the past five days, left the kids with a sitter,

had some dinner, etc., etc., smile all in all things are back to normal, and are better than before. In other news, Alice mentioned that her boyfriend loves the gear I suggested she buy for him. Next story, daughter became obsessed with political activism and started calling her sister a slave to gender stereotypes for wearing makeup and dresses, then called her subordinate arm candy when she went on a date. So my daughters were born pretty damn close together, their birthdays are only ten months apart because I got pregnant pretty much immediately after having the other.

Their entire lives they have always been best friends. My eldest is Sam, 17, and the year below is Izzy, 16. These girls have been absolutely inseparable since Izzy was born. They'd read each other's stories, play with their dolls, do each other's hair, held hands everywhere they went together, and they look incredibly alike too. People have mistaken them for twins when they were younger. We've always had a pretty tight-knit family, me, husband and the girls, we have family film slash game nights and regularly take trips together.

These girls are my entire world and I'm feeling absolutely riddled with guilt over the last two years because I'm really starting to dislike my youngest, Izzy. Obviously they weren't going to stay the same forever, from the age of about 13 onwards was when they both really started to diverge with their personalities. I completely expected and thought I was prepared for this, I can still remember when I first started to feel like I was becoming my own person and I know it's a confusing slash emotional roller coaster for teens, so I try to be as open and understanding as possible in regards to their choices. Both girls are currently doing their levels in college, UK. Sam is studying biology, chemistry, mathematics, and some kind of animal welfare subject.

Her goal is to go into veterinary course at uni, and she currently volunteers at our local vets helping out with the animals. She's always been a sweet girly girl, and only got more feminine as she entered her teenage years. I'm also rather girly, and me and Sam regularly go get our nails slash hair done together, go shopping, and enjoy baking together. At the end of each day at school she'll come home and make us both a cup of tea, and we'll chat about how our days went, boys she's interested in her classes, drama with her friends, etc. She's by no means the popular girl at school but has a group of about 10 clothes-knit friends that she hangs out with a lot, and often the girls will sleep over at my house, do each other's make up, even join us on our movie

nights. Sam is by no means shy, but hates making people upset so will avoid confrontation like the plague. Izzy, on the other hand, has begun to get very involved in political issues and current events. She lives off of the news channel, and is always passionate about some cause or another. She gets along rather well with her father in this aspect as they like to debate about the government and upcoming policies. She means well in her arguments but can be a bit opinionated at times, and when someone disagrees with her instead of calling peace and agreeing to disagree, she likes to keep the discussion going until she understands why someone thinks like they do. I understand that she's curious about how the world works and I won't squash that, but it does get a bit tedious hearing but why do everything we talk about. She's currently studying politics, psychology, business and economics as her A-level subjects. She doesn't really have any friends from school, and lives on websites like Tumblr chatting to people who care about her causes.

I try to involve her in mine and Sam's trips out shopping and she declines, saying she'd rather stay at home. To try and be more inclusive I suggested she picks some activities and will do them with her if she doesn't like the girly activities, but Izzy will again decline saying, she'd rather hang out with people who have the same mindset as her. I tried to organize something with just me and her to do instead, so I had a lone time with her just like I do for Sam, but she responded with something along the lines of like you'd be able to understand anything I'm involved with anyway. Her most recent thing has been the free-the-nipple campaign along with growing out her leg

hair, and has been ranting at Sam for being a slave to gender stereotypes by liking dresses and boys and makeup. At our movie nights Izzy will try and psychoanalyze the campaign. characters in all the films, even ones she's picked, and complains about the character tropes and forced romances throughout them. It's completely ruined movie nights, so last week I didn't even schedule one so I didn't have to deal with it. I know Sam is upset by all of this because she's cried to me a few times, but each time I bring it up to Izzy she says she doesn't care and we should check our privilege. I've tried grounding, she just sat stubbornly on the floor all

night, suspending her allowance, she said money doesn't control her, taking her phone away from her, she says we let technology control our lives anyway, and nothing seems to work. I hate it because I want to love my daughters equally, but I really don't like Izzy right now. She's being a bit self-righteous policing everything her sister Sam wears slash says slash does and calling her a slave. My husband seems to think it's just some silly teenage rebellious phase and she'll calm down soon so he's not as upset about it as I am. He also enjoys political debates with her, so he tries to take the heat away from the discussions when me or Sam are present.

One time when Izzy openly called Sam subordinate Arm Candy when she was going out on a date he told her she's not allowed to talk to her sister like that and she was grounded, and Izzy snapped oh now you're playing favorites too. Fuck off then and stormed upstairs. He's been trying to talk to her calmly about her attitude and how he loves her, and he understands her side of things, but can't just be this rude to everyone. But he recently got a new project at work and has been working long-ass shifts so he's not around that often. I just don't know what to do. Is this a phase? How do you even deal with this? If anything, her behavior is making me like Sam even more for being such a good kid and so I feel like it's a never-ending cycle. I have tried

to include Izzy in so many things and she just debates any topic possible tells me all my choices are wrong. Sam will be off to uni in September and then it'll just be me and Izzy at home. How the heck do I navigate this? Comments where OP has replied. Comment 1. One of the most important debate slash relationships tools to teach Izzy is. Once you start name-calling, you've lost your argument debates and jokes are fun until someone else gets hurt. Oop, that could be a good tool. Usually because she gets so passionate about these things, I end up trying to calm her down and justify her because I think she might feel like it's me and Sam versus her opinions. The next time she insults someone I think I'll definitely try

just ending the discussion on the spot and doing something different. Comment two, It's great Izzy is passionate, but she needs to seriously learn some respect. She should not talk to anyone in your family the way she does. She should not be telling her father to fuck off or being extremely rude to her sister, not to mention how dismissive she is of you. She acts like you won't understand her interests, insinuating that you're stupid. I would take away all her privileges, no phone, no internet, grounded, etc., until she can be more respectful. Also, please reassure Sam that it is okay that she likes being a stereotypical girl.

The whole point of feminism is that a woman can be whatever she wants to be. not that she can be whatever she wants to be with the exception of being traditionally feminine. Keep up your time with her and ride out the storm with Izzy. Hopefully this will pass when she matures a little. Oop, that's what I try to do but considering their polar opposites right now I don't know if they're taking me seriously or if they think I'm just saying it to make them feel better. It's like I'm turning back and forth going if you want to give up Braz Izzy, go ahead.

Who needs them? It's great you feel confident enough to go out without. them. Wearing bras doesn't make you anti-feminist Sam, a lot of people find them super comfy and easier to wear. Plus there's some super pretty ones out there so they make a lot of women feel sexy in them. No, no, Izzy, I'm not saying women can't be sexy without bras. Sorry I want to tear my hair out. When suggested Izzy needs to get her temper and outbursts under control. As I've said in another comment, Izzy has just joined the debate team slash club one of her her classmates just set up at her college, so hopefully she'll be able to find a structured

way with her peers to debate, learn it isn't always about being right, and get some of her frustration out before she returns home and takes it out on me and Sam. Others have been really helpful in sending me lists of films slash TV shows that she'd probably be interested in, but I know she's always loved reading so the books could be a good idea. Update, so I know it's only been about three weeks since the last post. a lot has happened, and there's probably a lot more work to do, but I just want to thank everyone for their advice and let you know that progress has been made. L-O-N-G, it was clear from all the comments that there were a few issues I had to deal with. One was to actually involve myself

more in Izzy's life and interests, and two was to stop letting her get away with hurting Sam's so much and teach her that she can't talk down at people like she is. Three is to write it out as much as I can and hope that she mellows out over time like a lot of commenters said they did as they aged. So the first thing I did was make a list of all the films slash TV shows recommended by people here to look in too, to try and find some things I can watch with Izzy to make her feel included. It was a long list and I think we got some really good options that will appeal to the whole family. The first thing I tried out as Stephen Universe as just about everyone on here suggested it for me. Izzy actually walked in on me watching it about five episodes in,

so much for one Taster episode to see if it was any good, and sort of paused in the doorway and asked you. Actually like Stephen Universe. I said one of my co-workers had recommended it as a cute show to watch and I actually kind of love it. Oh, I wish I could have taken a picture of the smile on her face. She immediately jumped onto the sofa and started quizzing me on how far along I am, are, if I like this show then I'll love X and started listing off other shows, a lot of which were on my list to try out. I told her we could try all them out, I actually already have a few, and reinstate film night, but under a new condition to make sure we don't run into any issues again. I purchased some dry white boards and pens and proposed the following idea, during all films

and TV shows, there is to be silence as I would like to watch something without it being talked over. However we write down questions slash talk. we want to talk about on the boards throughout the film. At the end of it, we designate a discussion time to talk all about it. Izzy agreed to it and said that was probably fair, so that was one win. We've had two film nights since then. The first one we watched was legally blonde and she was constantly scribbling on the board. The discussion after went pretty well I feel, Izzy did most of the talking about how

empowering L. Woods is but I tried to engage her so she didn't feel like I was just glazed over and ignoring it. Sam has at this point finished her exams and took up her volunteer work pretty much full time so it was just me and Izzy doing this, which I thought gave some nice quality time. I tried to find some activities for us to do together that aren't hair slash nails and thought she might enjoy a hike as we live pretty close to a national park here, so I suggested that one day. I was turned down but that's fine, I'm not expecting an immediate turnover. I'll just keep suggesting things every few days to let her know I do want to do things with her. We've been watching Orange is the new black since that came out, along with Stephen

Universe and Sense 8 now, so I still feel like we're making progress. Since Sam took up the extra work she's not really in the house much anymore so her and Izzy have clashed a lot less naturally, I still took down some of the comments you guys suggested, like how by shaming Sam for what she's wearing, Izzy is doing the opposite of feminism, but Sam actually beat me to it. So far only one has been made when Sam wore a small play suit out one day as it's been getting pretty warm here. Izzy said something like, wow, I didn't think it was possible to wear any less clothing than you normally do. Who's this for then?

But before I could even say anything Sam went me, because I looked damn good in it. Maybe you should try one, it's pretty empowering looking this good and skipped out the door. I was stood in shock for a second as Sam has. never returned fire before, and Izzy kind of did the same for a second before storming off upstairs. She hasn't made another comment since then, this was shortly after my first post, and I'm not sure if it's because they just don't see each other often or Izzy was genuinely shut up by one comment from Sam. So I'm in limbo waiting for that one to come around. While taking Sam out for Uni supplies one day I asked her how she feels about Izzy's behavior,

because I really don't want her to be negatively impacted by all this. She said that she gets a little upset when Izzy makes the comments, but she knows that she thinks she's coming from a good place and doesn't take it to heart. She also said that Izzy would probably chill out after a few years, and when she goes off to uni she'll be away from it anyway, so she's riding out the storm until September. Me and Sam aside, the new debate group I mentioned in the comments Izzy just joined has now become a big thing for her which I also think has been mellowing her.

out a bit. She's been going to sessions quite regularly, I asked her if they had audiences and if I could come along sometime and she said maybe in the future. It's new right now so it's really just class debating. She's also become really close, really fast with another girl in the group, we'll call her Anna. Apparently they take the same subjects but are in opposite classes so they never met before this debate group. Either Anna is at our house or Izzy is at hers every day for the last two weeks, so I'm glad she's made a close friend she can talk to. She's barely been on her laptop since so there's also less of the internet slash Tumblr fueling her behavior. Since Anna came along, Izzy has been significantly less argumentative and rude,

she's been skipping around the house in an almost dreamlike state and it's making my heart melt to see her this happy. I suspect Anna might be slightly more than just a new friend, but I'm not going to push anything, Izzy can talk to me whenever she wants to. As for her dad, his project at work is wrapping up so there's now less late nights and they're back to the political chit-chat over breakfast and seem as close as ever. So overall, I think things are improving. I'd like to thank everyone that took the time to comment, I read through every single one. I will continue bringing up activities and shows that you've suggested over time, I have a list saved of them all on my computer to keep asking her about. Eventually maybe Izzy will let me take

her on a hike or go to see a play together. I just have to keep trying. I'll also punish her where appropriate if she calls out me or Sam for what we wear or our hobbies, because it's not okay to be rude. It's a weird line to walk right now of curbing rude comments while also suddenly making more of an effort to take part in her interests, but I think I'm giving it a good go. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse engaged in an extramarital relationship and impregnated another individual. He kept his illegitimate child hidden until her passing, then attempted to compel me to care for the child by revealing the truth. Was God's plan since I'm infertile? My life has gone from perfect to a horrifying and dramatic limited series in a matter of days. I had never anticipated that something

like this would come my way. Maybe some things are a little too perfect to be true, and I I should have been more cautious about everything that was happening. In retrospect, I believe that I was too trusting, which is why I'm having to face all of this. I, 32, got married to my husband Kendall Ken M. 35, five years ago. We had known each other for a long time before that, but had started dating only two years prior to getting married. That was my best relationship, and I always thought that he was the kind of man that I could end up getting married to. He had shown no red flag. He had shown no red since I had known him, and in the two years that I had been with him. Now when I come to think of it, I think that the entire trope of he doesn't have a single

red flag as a red flag in itself. No one is perfect and if you can't see any red flag, please run because then the person isn't being organic at all. He or she is putting up a performance for you to buy and fall for. Don't fall for it like I did. Anyway, I had a great relationship with him and my previous relationships, though I admit they not been many were bad when compared to my relationship with him. So it was kind of obvious that he would have been my go-to choice. We were in love, and we were happy. His parents liked

me, too. Ken is their only child, and they depend on him a lot. By extension, they doted on me too. Even after marriage, I had never had to face the entire interfering mill problem, and I was very grateful for that. My in-laws don't live in the same state as us, but either we or they keep traveling up and down a couple of times a year to meet each other. It is important to him, and that's why I do it. We don't meet my parents as much, but that's okay by me because I have siblings who keep my parents' company. Anyway, I digress. What the point of this entire backstory is to tell you that I had, by all means, the perfect marriage. And when the marriage wasn't perfect when we were having issues with each other, the lowest that it could plummet down to

was reasonably decent. I've never had problems with him, which is why what happened was something that I had never anticipated. A few months into getting married, Ken and I decided that we wanted to try for a baby. Both of us has never been fans of a huge family. I come from one, which is why I know the drawbacks of having a house that is too full. It's fun and fulfilling, yes, but it is also a big financial decision that we couldn't have afforded to take in this economy anyway. I am one of six brothers and sisters, and while all of us had a lot of fun growing up and have each other's support as adults, it can get very taxing raising so many kids. Ken on his part has always known a small family. That's his comfort zone, and when he first met my siblings, all of them at once,

the amount of chatter and catching up genuinely threw him off for quite some time. So both of us were aligned when it came to decisions regarding the family. We knew we wanted a small family, which is why we thought it would be best if we started trying early. For the first few months, we were excited, and even though nothing happened, we didn't get disheartened. But gradually, that failure began to take its toll on us, or much rather, on me. Ken was still optimistic, and I think he also put up a brave front for me, but my faith was beginning to dwindle. After an entire year of trying, I suggested that we go to a fertility specialist and see what was up. I think it is easy to guess what he would have said.

The doctor had made it very clear that it would be very difficult for me to have children naturally. Conception for me was an uphill battle, and the only way for us to ensure a pregnancy and a child this way would be to go for fertility treatments. It was a very hard day for him, and though now I have come to terms with it, I felt horrible about myself as a woman and for Ken because he had a wife like me. It was a very dark period of my life. What angered me the most was that Ken immediately started discussing fertility treatments with the doctor, without even consulting me. We had never had an open discussion about it before, because neither of us had anticipated that something like this would actually happen. But I had in passing mentioned to him that if I wanted a kid and was unable to have kids biologically and or naturally, I would prefer to look into adoption more than anything else.

Ken, in that very moment, stripped me of all agency when he started discussing fertility treatments and IVF options with the doctor for me. Never once did he ask me if I was okay with it, I wasn't, but none of that mattered to him. No, I don't think that's the right way to put it. It didn't even cross his mind to talk to me first before anything else. I was that much of an afterthought in this entire process. I didn't want to create a scene in the clinic so I didn't say anything but kept on nine. But on the way back I told him that I didn't like the way he behaved.

We had a major fight that day, but we sorted things out eventually. I took us months, I am not going to deny, to get back into a healthy place for all of us. My issue was that I was very unsure about IVF. I know it has worked for many people, and I know it is regarded as a miracle for many, just like Ken. But I was definitely afraid of going through that procedure and injecting my body with hormones and medicines, especially given the possibility that we could end up having twins or even triplets. It was just too much for me. A lot of women do it, but I am not cut out for it. And I felt that at

the end of the day, it was my body, and if I wasn't comfortable going forth with this, that should have held primary importance. But for Ken, it was about the family. He was choosing the possibility of a non-existent family and unborn child over the health, physical and mental, and overall well-being of his wife. And that rubbed me off the wrong way. We had numerous fights about this. Countless fights. For around six months we were at consistent odds with each other. I tried to show him my perspective, and he tried to show me his. I am not calling him wrong, I never did even when we fought. I was just taken aback by the complete disregard that he was showing me and my considerations. The entire process of undergoing IVF made me feel unsafe, and to me, that should have been enough

to put an end to the discussion, but it wasn't. But we made it through it somehow. I had honestly thought that that would have been the end of my marriage, but we got out stronger from it. Little did I know that I had a bigger shock waiting for me on the other side. One that makes me think that it would have been better had we ended the marriage then then drag it out, only for me to end up facing what I did. We ended up going to make to make a major. We ended up going to marriage counseling for a while, and that helped a lot. I thought that the worst was over. I could see the improvement in our communication and marriage in only a couple of sessions. Then we began to have actual open discussions about the family and children.

And both of us had mutually come to the decision that we would put off all baby talk for a while, and try and navigate life as a couple. If we still felt that we wanted to have a child, we would proceed with adoption. It was the perfect solution, according to me, and things got better between us. I had no reason to think that he was cheating on me. There were no signs, there were no suspicious work trips or late-night office meetings, and most importantly, I have always been very trusting of Ken. For the last three years, this is what the situation has been. I have trusted him blindly, we have been a happy couple, and there has been nothing wrong in the relationship that has made me question his loyalty or his

love towards me. So yeah, he is a great actor. Everything changed last week. I stayed back at home because I was feeling a little sick. Ken was in the office but I got a text from him, saying that he had something very important to discuss with me, and he didn't want me to react poorly. I don't know what that was, but I thought that maybe it was something related to work. I was waiting for him to come home and when he did, he had a little boy in tow. My immediate reaction was. My immediate reaction was to think that he had brought home someone's kid to babysit, which is why he told me that he didn't want a reaction out of me. I greeted them and made a little small talk with the kid and pulled Ken aside. I asked him whose child it was and he didn't say anything. I asked him again and no response.

Finally, he told me that he was his son. For a moment I just looked at him, and then I started laughing. I thought as if he was joking or pulling a prank on me. But before I could full register what was even happening, and could consider the possibility that maybe what he was saying might have some truth to it, the waterwork started. He started bawling uncontrollably and kept on saying that he was sorry and that he would make things right. I had started freaking out by that point and asked him what he meant, and he said that he would tell me soon but right now I needed to look after his son. I yanked my arm away and said that I wasn't going to look after his son unless he told me what the hell was actually happening. By the time the kid had started getting cranked,

cranky and weepy, too. I rushed to attend to him and had to fix him a quick meal before he felt better. Ken was trying to avoid the conversation, and with the kid around it was easy to get distracted. When we had finally put him in bed, he told me what had happened. The only saving grace about the entire thing was that he did not lie. He told me that when we had hit a rough spot in our marriage, he felt as though a divorce was the only option. It was then that he had a fling with a woman, and according to him, it lasted a really short time. This was around the same time that we were contemplating going to marriage counseling. He said that they were both careful but somehow she ended up pregnant. When she told him he broke things off completely

and asked her to abort, but she was adamant that she wasn't going to do that. By then, things between us had gotten better, and he said that he did not want to lose me over a mistake. That was when he hatched the plan that he would pretend to be okay with the idea of adoption, and when the time came when we were ready, he would end up adopting his own child. He said that he did not want to give so much money to child support for 18 years, and he was only waiting for the opportunity to get me on board again. I asked him if the mother knew about all this and agreed to it. He said that the mother was okay as long as he was either paying her money to raise the kid

or had taken the kid himself. I was too stunned to speak. I just couldn't believe that he would betray me this way. I asked him if the kid, Zach, 2M, was here since I wasn't on board. He said that his affair partner passed away in an accident, and now the kid is completely his responsibility. I looked at him with complete disbelief. I couldn't begin that now we had to be permanent caretakers of his kid with another woman,

a kid that would be a constant reminder of his infidelity. I told him to get out of the house, but he went down on his knees and begged me to not leave him. He was trying to say something along the lines of how the kid is a blessing in disguise and whatnot, but my head was pounding and I just didn't have it in me to listen to this crap. I got up and just left, and I drove around town aimlessly and endlessly and just checked into a hotel. I dropped him a text that I wasn't coming back, and that was that. I got numerous messages and calls from him but I didn't respond to a single one. I couldn't. I was completely and utterly numb by this, and I didn't know what to do.

I had been betrayed like hell, and I was also going to be painted as a villain for not accepting a motherless child. It was all horrible, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't go home for two days. On the third day, my mill called me up. She said that she was in town and she wanted me to come back home so that we could talk. I told her that there was absolutely nothing to talk about, and I had nothing to say. Neither did I want to listen to anything that Ken was going to say. She said that she completely understood my perspective, but she wanted me there so that she could help me out. I was a foolish woman because I believed her. I thought I had some support, and I thought that as a woman, maybe she would advocate my case. I was clearly wrong, and I should have

known better. I trusted her and I went back home. Zach was not there, but Ken, Mill, and Phil were. My Mill got up and hugged me and that made me put down my guard a little. She held my hand, asked me how I was feeling, and made me feel all comfortable and secure. And then it started. It was an out-and-out war between us. Ken started by saying that all of this started because I couldn't give him kids. The very choice of his words made me want to smack him so hard that his teeth fell off. I told him that no, all of this started when he decided to screw some other woman, rather than tell me what problems he was facing, and work it out like any decent man. My Phil said that I would get a chance to talk but to first let Ken talk.

Ken continued and said that the affair was a mistake, but the child was a gift, and I was being a moron for not seeing it that way. He said that we had always wanted children of our own, and now we had one. All that was left was for me to stop being a bitch and accept him. I couldn't even believe the gall of the man. I told him that this was not our kid. This was his kid. And there is a huge difference between those two things. That's when my mill butt in and said that I anyway couldn't have a kid of my own. Which is why his kid was in fact, my kid. She said that this was the way God had intended it to be, and now I had to be a good and thank the Lord for getting rid of my problems as a woman with such ease.

I told her that she was out of her mind if she thought that this was God getting rid of my problems. This was God, or rather her son creating new problems for me when none, in fact, existed. I told her and Phil that Zach was an outcome of infidelity and that I could not condone that. I was willing to adopt a kid, but not a kid that my own husband had with another woman. That was just not acceptable to me. Things got heated and a lot of words were exchanged. There was a point where I was yelling at all three of them together, and they were trying to hound me and scare me into submission.

The entire point of this intervention, I believe, was to pressure me into accepting Zach, and that's why Mill had staged the entire drama, for no good reason. I told them that I was not going to accept Zach, and that's when Mill said that I was a useless, infertile woman, and that I should be grateful that Ken had not left me and it only had a useless fling. That was it for me. I told her to shut the hell up and to get out of my house.

Phil got up and told me to get out of the house because it was his son's house. I told him that I was leaving him, that I was going to divorce him, and that they could do whatever they wanted to. I went out and immediately contacted my sister Sarah, 35F. She's a lawyer and I told her everything in summary and told her that I needed her to prepare papers. She said that I need not worry about anything, and asked me to go to know. Noah's place, my brother, her twin, he lives in the same city as me. I told her that I hadn't wanted to involve all of them. But now it has come to that, and I don't see any way out other than divorce. It has now been a week since I've been with Noah, and I don't know what to feel anymore.

Update 1. I have now been staying with my brother for over two weeks, and I guess the thrill of being grandparents has worn off. Nobody has agreed to take care of Zach, and my mill has been bombarding me with messages, trying to manipulate and gaslight me into giving the poor kid a chance. I don't want to. I am not going to be a mother to a kid that is the result of my husband cheating. I know it's not Zach's fault, but I also know that I don't have it in me to look past it and agree to whatever is happening. I am not cut out for that. Sarah has asked me not to block any one of them because this could be beneficial during the divorce proceedings, so I am stuck with this for as long as this ST doesn't resolve itself.

Noah, however, told me that instead of taking this lying down, I could get back to them and mess with them. He suggests that I tell them that I am willing to take care of Zach, only if I am allowed to open the relationship, just from my end. That was the only way I would be willing to forgive Ken's infidelity if he allowed me to be open, but the same rules won't apply to him. I told him that that would be too much, and Sarah would never allow me to do something like that because that would look bad for the divorce, but Noah said that he could sneakily pull something like that off. He also offered to have his friend pretend to be my boyfriend or the supposed third partner in the relationship. It sounds fun and to be honest I think I'm contemplating it.

It would be fun to give my in-laws a taste of their own medicine. Let them see what it feels like to have a third person just swoop in and ruin your marriage. Update 2. A lot has happened since my last update. I am sorry for being Mia for the last few weeks. My head has been pounding and read it was the last thing on my mind. To all of you who were overjoyed at Noah's idiotic ideas and wanted me to go through with them, I am sorry to burst your bubble but none of that is happening. I didn't want to create issues in the divorce and everything was very messy anyway. Ken called me up and begged me to talk to him. I told him that that would happen only in Noah's place, where he would be alone, but I would have my siblings in attendance.

He tried to resist the offer and said that that would mean an invasion of our privacy and the sanctity of our marriage. I actually laughed when he said that. I told him that he had absolutely no problem when his parents were the ones hounding me, and that wasn't an invasion of privacy to him. I also told him to keep his trap shut about the sanctity of our marriage, because all this supposed sanctity had been thrown out of the window the moment he decided to get involved with another person. I told him that I wasn't willing to meet him or talk to him otherwise, and he reluctantly accepted the offer. When he came home, he looked bad. And that's a pretty word that I am using for him. He said that between the divorce and taking care of Zach, his savings were running

dry, as was his health. He said that he was at his wits' end, trying to juggle and handle everything, and he needed my help. Apparently, his parents had left the moment things got ugly, saying that it wasn't their responsibility to take care of his kid. I agree with them on this to be honest. There was nothing new that Ken had to say to me. It was basically a repeat of everything that we had already gone over hundreds of times. But this time, he just added more self-victimization to it. It was all about how he couldn't handle what had come to him, and that one mistake couldn't define the rest of his life. I didn't budge. I told him that this was his grave, and he had to lie in it. Zach was his son, no amount of guilting others would help him out of this one.

He said that I was a cruel woman for behaving this way and that he couldn't believe that I could be so heartless and ruined the life of a child. I told him that he ruined the life of the child by bringing him into the world in the first place. It was entirely on him. He chose to have Zach, and now, just because he is being required to be a grown-up about it and become a father, he is Eichengi in his pants. He said that I had no idea what I was doing. and if I didn't help him out, I would be the one responsible for completely destroying Zach's life. He said that Zach's mother had no relatives around, and the ones that were alive were too

conservative to accept a child out of wedlock. He said that she had been disowned and disgraced by her family for having Zach, and the agreement between them was that he would be responsible for the financial aspect, till we adopted him, or rather he fooled me into adopting him, and the mother just had to act as a babysitter till then. Because of the conservative views of family, no family member was willing to take in Zach or support him after the affair partner's death. I genuinely was at a loss because I did not understand how in the hell was at my concern. He said that the only place that Zach could go to was with him, and he was just unable to manage anything. If I didn't help him out and did not help Zach out, Zach would have to go into foster care.

He was trying to imply that I would be the one to push Zach into foster care because of my refusal to play happy families with him. I told him that he still had his precious parents to rely on. They were very fast in jumping the gun and expecting me to put up with this saint. Why did they abandon the ship the moment it got difficult? He said that they would have helped if they could, but they are old and they have their own stuff to deal with, which is why Zach was not a priority for them. I told him that just as they were allowed to prioritize their stuff over a child that was sprung into their lives out of nowhere, so was Elle. He begged me to at least reconsider the divorce, and that he didn't have the bandwidth or the money to be fighting that, but I said

tough luck. I told him that I wasn't going to halt my life just because it was inconvenient for him. He was an A for expecting mercy and warmth for me. I told him that if you think that I am an inconsiderate bitch, you are right because I'm one. And I have no shame in admitting it. I told him that the divorce was happening, and the only person I was. I felt sad for in the entire situation was Zach, and that too only because he had such a failure of a man as a father. This ticked him off the wrong way and he started cussing me out, but, thankfully, I had Sarah and Noah there, and Noah practically threw him out of the house. I don't know why the moron was expecting any sort of reconciliation, and how he even had the

audacity to stand in front of me and make these claims. All I know is that I am done with him and his saint update three, holy crap I had forgotten all about this account. It has been a long time since I logged in, and I am happy to inform you that I am now divorced, and have been so for quite some time. You had a lot of questions about Zach, but I am sorry to say that I don't have any information on him, and I don't want that either. I have since moved out of Noah's house and have rented a small studio for myself. It's pricey, but I like the place, so yay, win for me.

I have not been in touch with Ken since the divorce, even though he has been trying so every couple of weeks. I don't know what is it going to take for him to realize that we're over. This is by no means a fairy tale ending. I am still hurt, I still feel betrayed, and I don't know when am I ever going to be able to trust anyone again. What I do know is that I'm going to move forward now without looking back. I hope you enjoy this story. Former partner declined to vacate the premises after she terminated our betrothal due to her lack of interest in me. I'm about to delve into a tale that still seems somewhat unreal. To me, I'm a 35-year-old guy, and I've worked hard to get where I am. I'm work at a pretty big company, and I've always been the kind of guy who believes

in building a stable life. I met my ex-fiance, Amanda, at a mutual friend's wedding about three years ago. Amanda is 32 and worked as a marketing executive at the time. We hit it off almost immediately, she was outgoing, charming, and seemed to have her life together. For the first two years, our relationship felt like a dream. We were compatible in so many ways, shared common interests, and our friends even joked that we were relationship goals. About six months ago, I proposed to her, and she said yes. It felt like everything was falling into place. We started planning our wedding, and Amanda moved into my house a year ago. It wasn't a mansion, but it was a decent place I'd worked hard to buy. I was excited about building a future

together. About two months ago, out of the blue, Amanda told me she wanted to break off the engagement. I remember standing there, completely blindsided, as she explained that she felt trapped and not ready for marriage. To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement. I tried to understand where she was coming from and asked her if there was anything we could do to work through her doubts. Maybe we could postpone the wedding, give her some more time to feel comfortable. But Amanda was firm, she didn't want to get married, not to me, not to anyone right now. She said she needed time to find herself. Whatever that meant, it was clear she was done.

I was devastated, but I knew that if she didn't want to be with me, there was no point in dragging it out. The relationship was over, and I had to accept that. But the next step seemed pretty straightforward to me. if she didn't want to be with me, she had to move out. I mean, it was my house, after all. When I asked Amanda to move out, I tried to be as gentle as possible, given the circumstances. I gave her a 30-day notice, figuring that would be more than enough time for her to find a new place. But instead of agreeing to it, she flat out refused to leave. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She claimed that she had nowhere to go and no money saved up.

This shocked me because, as far as I knew, she was doing fine financially. We'd never had issues splitting expenses, and she made a decent salary. But then she confessed that she had quit her job a few weeks ago without telling me. She said she'd been feeling overwhelmed and needed a break. The money she had saved up. Well, she'd already spent most of it on shopping sprees and and spontaneous trips with her friends. I was floored.

How could she have hidden something so significant from me? I asked her why she didn't tell me sooner, why she kept this all to herself, but she didn't have a straight answer. She just said she was figuring things out and didn't want to stress me out. But now, she was expecting me to let her stay in my house indefinitely while she got her life together.

I couldn't believe the audacity. As you can imagine, things started to go downhill pretty fast after that. Amanda became increasingly difficult to live with. She started inviting her friends over all the time, turning our home into a non-stop party zone. I'd come home from work, exhausted, only to find the living room filled with people I didn't even know.

They'd be drinking, making a mess, and acting like they owned the place. When I confronted Amanda about it, she brushed me off, saying that she needed to unwind and that her friends were just helping her through a tough time. But it didn't stop there. She stopped doing any household chores, dishes piled up, laundry was left scattered everywhere, and the place was constantly a mess.

It was like living with a rebellious teenager rather than a grown-ass woman. I felt like a stranger in my own home. A few weeks into this nightmare, I accidentally stumbled upon something. Amanda had left her phone on the kitchen counter while she was in the show. shower, and it kept buzzing with notifications. Normally, I wouldn't snoop, but something in my gut told me to check it out. And boy, am I glad, or maybe not so glad, that I did? I unlocked her phone and found a bunch of messages between her and one of her co-workers, let's call them Eric. The messages were, well, let's just say they were anything but platonic. As I scrolled through the

conversation, it became clear that Amanda had been cheating on me with Eric for months. They had been meeting up behind my back, and she had even been planning to leave me once she had enough money saved up. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I was, trying to be understanding and giving her space, while she was sneaking around with someone else. I thought back to all the times I'd asked her if something was wrong, all the times I tried to make things work, and all the while, she was lying to my face. That night, I confronted Amanda about what I'd found. I laid out everything, the messages, the cheating.

I expected some sort of remorse, maybe an apology, or at least an explanation. But instead, Amanda just looked at me, completely unfazed. She didn't deny it. In fact, she seemed almost relieved that I knew. She told me she had been unhappy for months. and that our relationship had become boring, she said Eric made her feel alive again, and she didn't regret what she'd done.

I was stunned. How could she be so cold, so unapologetic? I was done playing nice. I told her she had 48 hours to move out or I'd take legal action. I wasn't going to let her walk all over me anymore. The moment I gave her that ultimatum, something in her snapped.

We got into a heated argument, with Amanda hurling all sorts of insults at me, blaming me for everything wrong in her life. She accused me of being controlling, of not being supportive enough, and even of being the reason she cheated. It was like she was trying to twist everything to make herself the victim. After that argument, I decided to dig a little deeper into our shared finances, just to see if there was anything else she had been hiding. Amanda had racked up a significant amount of credit card debt, more than I could have ever imagined. She had maxed out several credit cards on luxury items, expensive dinners, and trips. But that wasn't the worst part. She had also been using my credit cards

without my permission. I found charges for things I didn't recognize, high-end clothing stores, fancy restaurants, and even a weekend getaway that I definitely wasn't invited to. She had been living it up at my expense, all while pretending that everything was fine between us. I was furious. I confronted her about the unauthorized charges, and she didn't even try to deny it. She just shrugged and said she figured I wouldn't notice. I couldn't believe the audacity. At that point, it was clear that she had no respect for me or the life we had built together. The next day, while I was at work, she decided to retaliate in the most immature way possible. When I came home, I was greeted by a scene that looked like it was straight to.

out of a horror movie. The house was trashed. Furniture was overturned, the walls were covered in graffiti, and valuable items were missing. She had even taken some of my family heirlooms, things that were irreplaceable. There were nasty messages written on the walls in what I assumed was permanent marker, calling me every name under the sun. It was like she had gone out of her way to hurt me in every way possible. I was beyond angry, but more than that, I was hurt. How could someone I had loved and trusted turn into this vindictive person? I knew I couldn't let this go. Amanda had crossed a line, and I wasn't going to let her get away with it.

I filed a police report for theft and property damage the next day. I also contacted a lawyer to begin the eviction process. It was clear that Amanda wasn't going to leave on her own, so I needed to take legal action to get her out of my house. The lawyer helped me draft an official eviction notice, which I served to Amanda later that week. She was furious when she received it, but at that point, I didn't care. I was done playing nice. She had to go, and I was going to do whatever it took to make that happen. My family and friends were shocked when they found out what had happened.

They had always liked Amanda, and no one had seen this side of her before. My parents were incredibly supportive, offering to help me clean up the mess she had left behind and even offering me a place to stay while I sorted everything out. It was comforting to know that I wasn't alone in this, but it didn't make the situation any less painful. I had trusted Amanda, and she had betrayed me in the worst way possible. After receiving the eviction notice, Amanda tried to change her tune. She started begging me to reconsider, saying that she had made a mistake and that she wanted

to work things out. She tried to manipulate me with reminders of the good times we'd had, saying that we could get back to that if we just tried. But I wasn't buying it. I knew she was only trying to stay because she had nowhere else to go. When she realized that her attempts to manipulate me weren't working, she turned to threats. She said that if I went through with the eviction, she would tell all our mutual friends and even my coworkers that I had been abusive, both emotionally and physically. She said she'd destroy my reputation and make sure that no one believed my side of the story. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was willing to stoop that low just to stay in my house. It was like I didn't even know her anymore. But I wasn't going to let her threat scare me.

I knew the truth, and I had the evidence to back it up. If she wanted to play dirty, I was ready. The day of the eviction finally arrived. I had informed the police of the situation, and they agreed to be there to enforce the eviction if necessary. When I showed up at the house with the police, Amanda was still there. She had barricaded herself in the master bedroom and refused to come out. I couldn't believe she was taking it this far. The police knocked on the door and told her that she needed to leave, but she started screaming

and crying, saying that she was going to hurt herself if they made her go. It was a nightmare. She was causing a scene, making all sorts of accusations against me, trying to make me look like the bad guy. The police had to call in a mental health professional to assess the situation, and eventually, they were able to convince Amanda to come out of the room. She was escorted out of the house, still screaming and crying, but at least she was finally gone. After Amanda was finally out of my house, I changed the locks and installed a security system. I wasn't taking any chances. The house was in bad shape, and I had a lot of work to do to get it back to normal.

It was painful to see the place I had called home in such a state, but I was determined to rebuild. I started by cleaning up the mess she had left behind, throwing out the things she had destroyed, and repairing the damage. It was a slow process, but with the help of my family and friends, I managed to get the house back in order. But it wasn't just the physical damage that needed repairing. Once Amanda was out of the house, I pursued legal action for the theft and property damage. The police had all the evidence they needed, and my lawyer was confident that we had a strong case. Amanda was eventually ordered to pay restitution for the items she had stolen and the damage she had caused. In addition to the restitution, I also obtained a restraining order against Amanda.

I didn't want her anywhere near me or my house. I needed to move on with my life, and I couldn't do that with her lurking in the background, ready to cause more trouble. Looking back on everything that happened, I realized that there were red flags that I missed or ignored. Amanda had always been a bit of a spender, but I never thought it would get to the point where she would be using my money without my knowledge. I should have been more aware of what was going on with her, but at the same time, she should have been honest with her. with me instead of sneaking around. This whole experience has been a wake-up call for me. I've learned that trust is earned, not given,

and that I need to be more careful about who I let into my life. I'm focusing on healing and personal growth now. I've even considered selling the house and starting fresh somewhere else, but I haven't made any decisions yet. So, here I am, sharing my story with all of you. Thanks for sticking with me through this long post. I appreciate any advice or thoughts you might have. And to end on a lighter note, if anyone knows a good place to buy a sturdy, Amanda-proof security system, let me know.

So, am I the asshole for kicking my ex-fiancee out of my house when she broke off our engagement and refused to move out? Update 1, Hey everyone, it's been about a month since I last posted, and I wish I could say things have calmed down, but unfortunately, that's not the case. After Amanda was evicted, I was hoping she'd just disappear from my life for good. I mean, she trashed my house, stole from me, and then violated the restraining order by stalking me. She even got arrested for it, so I figured she'd finally get the message. But apparently, she didn't. About two weeks ago, I started noticing some strange things happening around my house. It started with small stuff, like someone ringing my doorbell in the middle of the middle of

of the night and then running off. Then it escalated to finding my trash cans knocked over every morning. I tried to brush it off, thinking it was just some pranksters in the neighborhood. One night, I was coming home from a late shift at work when I saw something. There was a note taped to my front door. It was simple, just a piece of paper with the words you're not safe written on it. The handwriting was unmistakable, it was Amanda's. I immediately called the police. I immediately called the police and handed over the note. They took it seriously, but there wasn't much they could do at that point. They advised me to keep my security cameras on and document anything else that happened. They also promised to increase patrols in my area, but they couldn't be there all the time.

The next day, I got a call from my security company. They notified me that there was an attempted break-in at my house. The footage showed Amanda trying to pick the lock on my front door in the dead of night. When she realized she was being recorded, she looked straight into the camera and gave it a smile before walking away. I handed the footage over to the police, and they were able to arrest her for violating the restraining order again. But just like last time, she was released on bail the very next day. It's like no matter what I do, she's always one step ahead. My lawyer suggested filing for a permanent restraining order, but that process takes time, and I'm left feeling like I'm living in a horror movie. How do I make sure she stays away for good? Does anyone have any

advice on what else I can do? I feel like I'm running out of options, and I'm terrified she's going to do something even worse next time. Update 2, hey, everyone. I'm back with another update, and things have taken a turn for the worse. I thought the worst Amanda could do was break into my house, but she's found a way to hit me where it hurts the most, my job. I work as a software developer, and my job is one of the few things that's kept me sane through all of this. I love what I do, and I've worked hard to get where I am. But about three weeks ago, my boss called me into his office with a serious look on his face. He handed me a stack of papers and asked me to explain myself.

The papers were screenshots of emails that were supposedly sent by me to various co-workers. These emails were filled with racist, sexist, and downright vile comments. There were also threats in some of them, directed at specific coworkers. I knew immediately that these emails were fake, but the problem was that they came from an email address that looked almost identical to mine. I explained to my boss that I didn't send those emails and that they had to be from Amanda. I told him about everything that had been happening, the break in attempts, the restraining order, how Amanda was now trying to ruin my life because I had kicked her out.

Thankfully, my boss believed me. We have a good relationship, and he knows this isn't in my character at all. But even though my boss was on my side, the damage was done. Word about the email started to spread around the office, and I could feel people giving me the cold shoulder. I even overheard some co-workers whispering about me in the break room, wondering if the rumors were true. It's been a nightmare. I got in touch with our IT department, and they were able to trace the fake emails back to an IP address that wasn't mine. They confirmed that it was someone impersonating me, but that doesn't erase the damage to my reputation.

I've handed all the evidence over to the police, but they've told me the same thing, they're building a case against Amanda, but these things take time. I've considered leaving my job and finding something remote where I wouldn't have to deal with this, but that feels like letting her win. I'm stuck and don't know what to do next. Has anyone dealt with a situation like this before? I'm open to any advice because, honestly, I'm at my wits end. Update 3, hey everyone, this is the final update, I hope. It's been about four months since my first post, and I've finally reached what I hope is the end of this nightmare. But not without some more drama first, of course.

After my last update, things continued to escalate. Amanda was still out on bail, and I was constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for her next move. I'd already dealt with her breaking into my house and trying to ruin my career, so I figured she'd come up with something even more drastic next. And I was right. About a month ago, I was leaving work late one evening when I found all four tires on my car slashed. My car was sitting in the parking lot on flat tires, and I knew immediately who was responsible. When I checked the security footage, there she was, Amanda, slashing my tires and then calmly walking away as if nothing had happened. I called the police again, and this time they took it more seriously.

Amanda was arrested later that night, but this time, I made sure she wouldn't be getting out on bail so easily. My lawyer and I pushed hard for her to be held without bail, and thankfully, the judge agreed. Amanda was finally behind bars, where she couldn't hurt her. me anymore. But the damage she'd done was still there. My reputation at work had taken a hit, my car was in the shop, and I was emotionally drained. I started seeing a lawyer more frequently to figure out what my next steps should be. He suggested suing Amanda for the damages she caused, both to my property and my reputation. He also suggested filing for a permanent restraining order,

which would make it harder for her to get near me in the future. I'm pursuing both options, but it's going to be a long process. In the meantime, I've made some decisions about my life. I've decided to sell my house and move to a new city. I love my job, but I'm going to ask for a transfer to a different office or maybe even switch to a remote position. I need a fresh start, away from all the memories of what Amanda put me through. So, I guess this is goodbye for now. Thanks to everyone who gave me advice and support over the past few. few months. I couldn't have gotten through this without you. I'm hopeful that this is the last time I'll have to deal with Amanda, and that from here on out, I can focus on rebuilding my life.

Thanks again, everyone, and take care. I hope you enjoy this story. My child returned to our residents following a romantic split and resided without contributing financially for more than 12 months. He then began transforming our living space into a baby's room without seeking approval, as his present partner wished for it. Was also his affair partner got pregnant. My 28-year-old son moved back in with my wife and me 14 months ago after a bad breakup ended his four-year relationship. At the time, he told us it would just be a temporary arrangement for a few months so he could get back on his feet emotionally and financially. We understood he was heartbroken and wanted to support him through a rough patch. We agreed to let him stay in his old room, rent-free,

on the assumption that he would use the time to recover and then move out once he was stable again. It's now been well over a year, and our son is still living with us with no end in sight. He has a decent full-time job, so money shouldn't be the issue holding him back from moving out. However, instead of saving up for his own place, he spends most of his income on expensive hobbies, take out food, and nights out with friends. As far as we can tell, none of his income is being saved toward an apartment or future despite living under our roof and using our utilities, he has an offer to contribute a dime to rent, groceries, or the electric and water bills. My wife, 49F, and I, 52M, have been quietly covering all the household expenses while he basically treats our home like a free hotel. He also doesn't help out with any household chores. He'll leave his dirty dishes in the sink for us to wash, drop his laundry in the hamper assuming my wife or I will handle it, and generally comes and goes as he pleases like a guest on vacation.

We've tried dropping hints and making polite requests for him to clean up after himself or lends. the hand, but he acts like we're inconveniencing him. For example, I once asked if he could mow the lawn on a Saturday and he responded, I'm really not feeling up to that right now, I'm still feeling low. Yet he had no problem going out with his buddies that same evening. Whenever we bring up the subject of him finding his own place or at least contributing to household costs, he immediately gets defensive and upset. He'll say things like, I'm still healing from my breakup. Why can't you just be supportive? He insists that we're making him feel unwelcome during a difficult time in his life. The few times we've tried to have a direct

conversation about setting a move-out timeline, he's accused us of turning our backs on him and being unsupportive parents. He often reminds us how devastated he was after his ex left and that he needs more time to get back on track. We do sympathize, truly, but it's been 14 months of more time. My wife and I are starting to feel taken advantage of. We love our son and we're happy to help him when he was at rock bottom, but at this point it feels like he's using his breakup as an excuse to avoid responsibility. In fact, socially he seems to be doing fine now. He goes to work, hangs out with friends, and even spends money on concerts and pricey gadgets for his hobbies.

It's not like he's holed up in his room crying every day anymore. From our perspective, he's just gotten comfortable and has little incentive to leave our nest since we're footing all the bills. We haven't given him any ultimatums yet, because frankly we're worried about pushing him away or causing a rift. But we're also feeling frustrated living with a 28-year-old who behaves like a teenager on summer break. We expected a few months of support, not an indefinite period of subsidizing his lifestyle. So Reddit, are we being unreasonable or cruel for one? wanting our adult son to either start contributing or move out. Comment one, Eda honestly, I can't believe you're complaining about supporting your own son

for a while. He went through a devastating breakup and you're acting like he's a burden for needing help. Who cares if it's been 14 months? He's family, not a tenant. You're being incredibly unsupportive and basically telling him to get over it on your timetable. Charging your own kid rent and harping on him for chores when he's depressed. is cruel. You should be ashamed of how you're treating him. Op, I'm sorry you see it that way. We have been nothing but supportive for over a year.

We didn't charge him anything initially and we've taken care of him this whole time. We're not throwing him out on the street with no warning. We just expected that after well over a year, he would start to get back on his feet. Also, from our perspective, he's not actually acting depressed lately. He's active with friends and hobbies, just not taking any responsibility at home. I understand some parents would let their adult kids stay indefinitely, but we feel like we've gone above and beyond here. Comment two, is your son getting any kind of professional help or therapy for this healing process he talks about? If not, then it sounds like he's using it as an excuse. Op, he went to a therapist for a short while after the breakup, but he stopped after

a couple of months, saying he was feeling better. These days he generally seems fine mood-wise. He goes out with friends, works, enjoys hobbies. I don't think this is a depression issue now, maybe it was at first. It does come across more like he's milking the situation. We have tried encouraging him to maybe talk to someone or at least to think about his future plans, but he just keeps saying he needs more time. First, thank you to everyone who comment on my original post. The feedback was overwhelmingly on my side, and it gave my wife and me the push we needed to set some firm boundaries with our son. A few days after the original post, we sat our son down for a serious talk. We even put together a short-written agreement outlining house rules

and expectations going forward, since the few months have long passed. Here's what we asked of him in the agreement. Contribute $400 per month toward rent and utilities. a token amount far below any real rent, just to have him put some skin in the game. Do his own laundry and clean up after himself, no more dumping chores on us. By his own groceries, or chip in if he's eating the food we buy, instead of just raiding our fridge without contributing. General respect for house rules, like keeping his space reasonably clean and not making a mess in common areas. Timeline for moving out, we wanted him to aim to move out within the next six months. We offered to help him create a budget or look for apartments when he's ready, but we we wanted a clear end goal so this situation doesn't drag on forever.

We presented this to him as kindly but firmly as we could, emphasizing that we still love him and want to support him, but that he's an adult and this arrangement needs to be fair to everyone. Well, it did not go over well. As soon as he realized we were essentially giving him rules and a potential deadline, he became very upset. He said we were treating him like a tenant instead of family. He actually said something along the lines of I never would have moved back home if I knew you were going to turn on me like this. We tried to explain that we weren't turning on him, and that these terms were much more lenient than any real landlord would give, and that we'd always be his parents, not actual landlords. But he was having none of it. The discussion got pretty heated on his side. He accused us of being ungrateful for everything he's had.

to go through, as if his breakup was somehow helping us. And he argued that asking for rent from one's own child is cruel and greedy. I stayed calm and reiterated that we've supported him free of charge for over a year, which not all parents would do, and that $400 per month is extremely reasonable given his income and expenses. He stormed off after saying we were basically the worst parents ever for nickel and diming him when he's still healing. Once that blow up, he's been giving us the silent treatment.

It's been three days now where he barely says a word to us. He stays shut in his room when he's home or slips out of the house without a word. We're feeling pretty disheartened. We did get a text from our daughter, his sister, saying that he vented to her, calling us cruel and greedy for making him sign a contract to live in his own parents' house. She knows the whole story and is trying to stay neutral, but hearing that he's telling others returned on him is hard. My wife and I don't think we've done anything wrong by establishing these boundaries. If anything, maybe we should have done it sooner. But right now our son is

incredibly angry at us. We hope he cools down and realizes that paying a token rent and doing chores is not an outrageous thing to ask. That's where things stand. We have house rules in writing now, and a very unhappy son who thinks were the villains. Not sure what the next step will be, but we'll see. Comment 1, $400 per month is insanely low for what he's getting, basically full room and bored. If he thinks that's greedy, he's in for a rude awakening in the real world. Your right to set boundaries. Has he actually signed or agreed to the written agreement yet, or is he just ignoring it? Op, he hasn't signed anything yet. When we handed it to him, he basically blew up and walked out.

We left a copy of the agreement in his room in case he cools down and reconsiders. So far, he's just been avoiding us. We're hoping once he realizes we're serious, he'll talk to us and we can get him to actually agree in writing, or at least verbally, to the terms. Comment two, how did your daughter react when he tried to badmouth you to her? Op, according to our daughter, she mostly just listened to him vent, but didn't exactly take his side. She told us she pointed out to him that $400 is nothing compared to real rent and that most parents would expect an adult to contribute something. She's trying not to be too

involved, but she didn't think we were being cruel or anything. She kind of told him they have a point, you know. He apparently just got mad and ended the call. Update two, it's been about three weeks since we laid down the house rules. Eventually, our son, grudgingly, agreed to the terms. After a week of sulking, he told us he'd sign the stupid agreement so we'd stop hounding him. In his word, he's paid the first $400 rent for this month and started doing his own laundry and buying some of his own groceries. So in terms of the deal, he's technically complying. However, a new issue arose that we did not anticipate. Our son has started dating someone new, and she is very pregnant, visibly far along.

From what we observe, the baby probably isn't his, but regardless, he's jumped into this relationship quickly. The bigger problem, she's at our house constantly. We're talking almost every day, often overnight. They've basically taken over our living room for movie nights. She's even left clothes here, almost like she's living here part-time, even though we barely know her. We never laid out rules about guests when we set the agreement, because we didn't imagine we'd need a no-moving your girlfriend in claws.

We were trying to treat him like an adult and not micromanage his social life. But now our home feels less like ours, it's like their personal apartment and we're just bystanders. After about a week of this, my wife and I gently approached our son, when his girlfriend wasn't around, to say we need to set some boundaries. We told him we're glad he's moving on socially, but having his girlfriend over every single day and night is more than we're comfortable with. We suggested maybe they hang out elsewhere some days or limit overnights.

He immediately got defensive. He accused us of being judgmental about his new relationship. According to him, we should be happy he's not lonely, and instead we're nitpicking and making her feel unwelcome. We tried to explain it's not about her as a person, it's about us needing some privacy in our own home. He wasn't hearing it. He basically said that if he had his own place,

we wouldn't get any say in who he is over, and that we claim we want him to move on but then aren't actually happy when he does. After that talk, nothing changed. She still comes over almost daily and stays over most nights. We're reluctant to push the issue further because technically he isn't violating the original written agreement, he is paying rent and doing chores, and we never explicitly set guest rules.

But this situation is far beyond what we expected. My wife is especially uncomfortable with essentially having a stranger practically living in our home, and a complicated situation at that, with her being pregnant. So that's where we stand now. Our son is doing the bare minimum we required, but he's also turned our house into his new family hangout. And if we object, we're judging him. We're really unsure how to handle this, because it feels like a whole new boundary is being crossed. Comment one, wow, your son found a way to turn one freeloader into two.

You're not wrong to want your house back. If he wants to play house with his girlfriend, he needs his own place. Does the girlfriend even know this is actually your home, not his? She seems awfully comfortable there. Op, we haven't explicitly discussed it with her, but she knows. knows where his parents and that he lives with us, or at least we assume she knows. Now that you mention it, she does act very at home. It's possible he hasn't made it clear that this is our house.

We might need to subtly mention that we're the homeowners. Comment 2. NTA. Wanting reasonable boundaries on guests is completely fair. He basically moved her in without asking you. You may have to set a specific rule now, like no overnight guests more than X nights a week or something. If he can't respect that, he's breaking the spirit of your trust. Op, you're right.

We're going to have another sit down and spell out some limits on how often she can be here. We didn't think we'd have to, but lesson learned. We'll try to be diplomatic but firm. We're not banning her outright, just making it clear there have to be limits, like maybe only weekends or a couple nights a week. Update 3. About a week after the last update, we discovered that our son has been telling his girlfriend that our house is actually his house, and that my wife and I are just his roommates helping him with expenses. We found this out by accident, I was chatting with his girlfriend

in our kitchen while my son was out picking up food. She casually mentioned how cool it was that we, his roommates, were so helpful with the bills. We did a double take and said, uh, just to be clear, were his parents. She seemed confused. She said she knew we were his parents, but that our son had kind of implied we all co-owned the place or that we lived here to help him out. Basically, he'd given her the impression that he owns the house and were just here contributing to his mortgage. I didn't correct her in detail right then, because I was pretty stunned. Later, when the girlfriend wasn't around, we confronted our son. At first he tried to deny it or say she miss us. understood, but when we pressed, he admitted he told her that. His excuse. He didn't want to

look like a loser who still lives with his parents at 28. He tried to downplay it like it wasn't a big deal. Everyone exaggerates a bit when they're dating, I didn't think it mattered. We were extremely upset and told him this was absolutely not okay. We said it's disrespectful and absurd that he would basically demote us to roommates in our own home just to impress someone. We told him needs to come clean to his girlfriend about whose house this really is, and soon, because we won't keep up that lie. He kind of shrugged and didn't give a firm answer, just kept saying it wasn't a huge deal and that we were overreacting.

At this point, my wife and I are furious and deeply hurt. It's one thing for him to rely on us, it's another to lie to make us look like background characters in his life. If he doesn't fix this, we're prepared to speed up our timeline on asking him to move out. We haven't spoken to his girlfriend about it further yet, we're hoping he'll tell her the truth himself, but if he doesn't, we will. The girlfriend absolutely deserves to know the real living situation, especially with a baby on the way. I'd give him an ultimatum, come clean to her and start showing you some respect, or he's out. Op, we're right on the edge of that breaking point.

The only reason we haven't kicked him out already is that we're trying not to act purely out of anger. But we 100% agree, this crossed a major line. We told him in no uncertain terms that he must fix this lie. If he doesn't, an ultimatum, an eviction, is coming. We really never thought we'd be contemplating kicking out our own son, but his behavior is leaving us no choice. Update 4. About two weeks passed after the house lies.

Before we could speak about our ultimatum, we got hit with the news, our son's pregnant girlfriend isn't a new fling at all, she was actually the other woman during his previous relationship, and the baby she's carrying is our sons. We found this out through our daughter. She stayed friendly with our son's ex, the one he dated for four years, and recently met up with her. The ex revealed that she ultimately ended the relationship because she discovered our son had been cheating with his current girlfriend, and that the other woman, now girlfriend, contacted her around six to seven months after the breakup to rub it in that she was pregnant with our son's baby. So our son has known for a long while that he has a baby on the way, he just

chose not to tell us when he moved back home. It explained a lot about his messy breakup and behavior after, he wasn't just heartbroken, he was caught in a huge mess of his own making. A few days ago, my wife and I confronted our son with this information. He tried to deny it at first, but once it was clear we had the timeline and facts, his girlfriend is about seven to eight months along, which matches up, he admitted it. He said he didn't tell us because he knew we'd overreact and he wanted to wait until the time was right to break the news. Apparently that meant when the baby was almost due. We told him how upset and betrayed we felt, not only did he lie, but he apparently planned to raise a newborn under our roof without even asking us. At that point he

dropped another bomb, he and his girlfriend had already decided that after the baby is born, they will both live here with the baby and essentially start their family in our home. He actually said we should be happy to have our grandchild around, and that having built-in babysitters, us, would be great since daycare is expensive. He delivered all this like it was a done deal. He never once asked for permission, he just assumed we'd go along. In fact, we caught him already clearing out our home office, the only spare room we have, to make it a nursery. He was boxing up our things without even a conversation. My wife came upon our office furniture being moved and was in tears.

We immediately told him to stop. He got Huffy and said we needed to start making sacrifices because the baby's going to need a lot of space and attention. He argued that since it's his child, our grandchild, and we have the room and resources and they don't, it just makes sense for them to live here and for us to help raise the baby. He also added that once the baby arrives his girlfriend will likely stop working, so they'll be down to one income, implying they'll rely on us even more. My wife and I were absolutely horrified and said this was not going to happen.

We never agreed to support an entire new family under our roof. We told him we might love our future grandchild, but this arrangement was not acceptable. He tried to guilt us by saying, wow, so you're fine with kicking your own grandkid out onto the street. Great grandparents you'll be. He basically accused us of abandoning him and the baby. At one point my wife had to walk away because she was on the verge of a breakdown. Our son kept insisting they had nowhere else to go, and that we were cruel for making them struggle when we could easily help. We ended up ending the conversation without any resolution, just to cool off. The bottom line, our son fully expects that his girlfriend and newborn will live here with him,

with us providing housing, childcare, and financial support indefinitely, and he assumed this without ever asking. We are livid and feel massively taken advantage of. He is using our grandchild as emotional leverage to trap us, which is something we never expected from our own child. The baby is due in about one or two months. After a lot of discussion, my wife and I, are in complete agreement. As much as we love our son, we cannot allow this to happen. We refuse to be bullied into sacrificing our home and retirement to raise another baby. Update 5. Final Update. Here we are at the final update, not long after the last blow-up, my wife and I put our foot down completely. We gave our son a 30-day notice to move out.

We put it in writing, making it clear that after 30 days he could no longer live here. and that under no circumstances would a baby be raised in our home. We also stated that his girlfriend was not allowed to move in. Basically, we drew a hard line, this arrangement was ending. He did not take it well. When we handed him the letter and explained it, he had a complete meltdown. There was yelling, crying, and a lot of other things. He said a lot of hurtful things, like that we were ruining his life,

that we'd never see our grandchild, and that we were essentially disowning him. He accused us of valuing our precious peace and quiet over helping him. At one point he screamed, if you kick me out, consider me dead to you. Which was just devastating to hear. We stayed as calm as possible, but it was very rough. We didn't kick him out on the spot, we gave him 30 days to figure things out. During that period, two major things happened. First, his girlfriend broke up with him.

We don't know all the details, but apparently when she realized he had no real plan, and found out he'd lied about the house, she decided she didn't want to raise her baby in this chaos. From what we hear, she moved back in with her own parents, who will support her once the baby comes. Second, our son moved out. He didn't even use the full 30 days. Roughly two weeks into it, after his girlfriend left him, he passed. packed some bags and left to crash on a friend's couch. We've heard he's bouncing between friends for now.

He did not say goodbye or anything, he just left in anger. Now it's just my wife and me in the house again. The silence is surreal. We feel a mix of sorrow and relief. Our son is extremely angry and has cut off contact except for a few nasty texts. As for our grandchild, she hasn't been born yet. We're not sure what will happen when she arrives. We let the ex-girlfriend, that we'd be willing to be involved as grandparents if she's open to it.

She sent a polite message back that she's focusing on the baby for now, and maybe we can discuss visiting in the future. We'll see, we understand we might have limited involvement, at least initially. In the end, this whole thing has been very hard on us. We're not happy that it came to essentially evicting our son and having him cut up. us off, but we truly felt we had no other choice. Our home is finally our own again, which is a relief, but it was the only way to get out of an impossible situation. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse became pregnant three years after I underwent a procedure to prevent fertility, so I underwent examination and learned that I am still unable to conceive. Subsequently,

we conducted a genetic test on our child and learned that she was not biologically related to me either. So I got up and divorced her. We spent two years together in college and got married the fall after we graduated. Spent two years exploring our relationship and finally got settled down and was ready to raise a family. She got off birth control and her libido took off but it took three years for us to get pregnant, but we got a beautiful girl finally. After a couple of months, my wife got back on birth control and had a hard time with it. Her doctor switched her med several times, but she had bad side effects with each one. We talked about it and were unsure if we wanted another child and since it was easier for me to get a vasectomy reversed later if we decided to have more children I had the operation.

That was three years ago and after coming off birth control my wife has felt better and Sags has been worry-free since we can no longer get pregnant. We actually have segs more now than when we were in college. Then three weeks ago my wife was late for her period, which isn't that unusual for her. Then I noticed her breasts were a little tender and she started what seemed like signs of morning sickness. Now I know there have been cases of nature reversing vasectomies so I went to the doctor and had my sperm count checked and the verdict was I'm still sterile, but I didn't tell my wife. My wife finally went to her doctor and confirmed she was pregnant and so she had me go to my doctor to get tested. I didn't go right away because I was literally sick from the stress of the situation. I had all sorts of sick scenarios going through my head, in the end I got retested and I took my daughter in and had a DNA test done.

I got both test results back today and got violently ill after reading them. Yes, I'm sterile, and no, my daughter isn't mine. When my wife got home I showed her my test and she denied any wrongdoing and saying that there was a problem with the test and I showed her the test from last week and she broke down crying. I finally got it out of her who she had slept with and that it only happened once and the condom must have failed. I made her tell me the story three times and each time I asked her if that was the whole truth and if there was anything else that she needed to tell me because another lie would mean we were through. She said that was the only time and she had never done anything like that before. I told her how much this hurt me and asked her how she could do this to our family and if it was worth it. I asked her if she wanted a divorce and she pleaded with me to forgive her and put this behind us.

I said I couldn't raise someone else's child and asked her if she would be willing to terminate the pregnancy in order to stay together. She cried the rest of the night, but when we went to bed she said she would do whatever it took to save our marriage. I never brought up the DNA test. I will contact a lawyer next week to see what my options are about if I have to pay child support on our first child. If she had come clean about the father of our first child I could have swallowed my pride and tried to work to forgive her, but she thought she was in the clear and didn't need to confess to anything else, no telling what I'll never know. Edit, my lawyer is awesome, she had me bring in a bunch of paperwork, bank statements, and my medical and DNA results and had me tell her my story.

Her assistant sat in with us and took notes while my lawyer went through my documents. After I finished, she asked a few questions and spelled out my options. I live in an at-fault state which is good and bad. Good is in it gives us leverage, bad as it takes longer and much more expensive. In the case of the first child, if my wife agrees to sign the papers my liability for child support is an easy fix, if she doesn't agree, then a court order DNA test and a judgment from the court can remove me without my wife's consent. Either way, I will most likely not have to pay child support, one way is just more expensive than the other. Since my wife has a good job and earns close to what I

do she didn't think the judge would award her any alimony. And all of that plus dividing up property and other things can be negotiated before a judge gets involved. The bad news was due to the holidays they couldn't have the papers ready before Christmas but definitely would before the end of the year. She advised me to say nothing until she got served. She gave me a list of things to do before and after Christmas before they serve my wife. One thing they did point out was since we were actively trying to have a baby there was a possibility that my wife didn't know that the child wasn't mine. My wife has an appointment with her OB tomorrow. Update 1 so I met my sister at my house and we started moving my stuff to her house while the divorce goes through or at least until

my STBXW leaves and I get possession of the house. We took four carloads to her house and came back for the rest. My sister felt it important for her to be there for support and as a witness. I also moved the nanny cam into the living room so it could record everything in the cloud. At about 10.45 a.m. I got a text from the lawyer saying she had been served. I sent her an email saying that I am at the house when she is ready to talk. A couple of minutes later I got a text from my wife saying why. Blah, blah, blah. So I resent the first text and waited for her to get home.

She sent several texts and voicemails. They don't mention anything about cheating just how she thought we were working this out and she thought we would sit down and have a conversation before proceeding with the divorce. Playing the family card and how this will devastate the child and our families. How she feels betrayed that was a good one. She was still sharing her location and it took her 20 minutes before she left work. She then stopped at a nearby Walgreens for a few minutes. The purpose of the stop at Walgreens became clear as a police car pulled in behind her in the driveway.

According to the officers, she got the police there because she said she was afraid and that we had guns in the house. I showed the officers my empty gun safe and said that I had removed them to another secure location. We went back to the living room and I showed my wife the paternity test that I had done that showed her daughter was not mine. Her response was denial and disbelief, which appeared genuine. She broke down and cried for about ten minutes. I told her this was the final straw and why I wanted the divorce. At about that time, the police officers reminded me to keep it civil and made their exit after I told them I was leaving soon to stay at my sister's house. when I asked who the child's father was she claimed she didn't know.

I asked if there were that many guys she was sleeping with or did she just not know his name. I asked how many times had she cheated on me between pregnancies, to which she said it was just the two of them. I told her that I had said earlier if she didn't tell the whole truth that I was done. I reminded her I also told her that I couldn't slash wouldn't raise someone else's child, and that she had better figure out who the real father was because I wasn't paying child support for someone else's baby. She wanted to know what we were going to tell our daughter and I said that was up to her because this was her mess and I wasn't taking the blame or cleaning it up for her. I drafted a couple of emails last week one for our friends and family with copies of all the test results and reasons why I was asking for a divorce.

The other for my wife with copies of the same tests along with what I knew and things that I had told her previously. I had to run it through my lawyer and make a couple of edits before she signed off on it. I sent copies to all our friends and relatives when she pulled into the driveway this afternoon. Most of the feedback has been one-sided and very colorful. In the end, I told her if she had been truthful we might have been able to work things out. But I couldn't trust a lying serial cheater, and I told her if she had gotten her tubes tied instead of me getting a vasectomy she might have got away with it. I told her she needed to get a lawyer so we could move forward and start to heal. Edit, we had our second meeting with the lawyers today and we signed off on almost everything

except the house, still waiting for an appraisal to come back and figure out the split. Motions got filed today and a court-ordered paternity test was scheduled for all three of us. Since STBXW didn't fight me on everything we filed a no-fault divorce petition if everything goes right, I get the house back on February 15th and the divorce will be. be final on April 5th. The lawyers did a better job keeping us separated in the conversation between the two of us to a minimum. I was a little worried when she came in, pale and with no energy to speak of, I couldn't tell if it was lack of sleep or maybe overmedicated. She just stared out the windows as the lawyers read everything to us before we signed some of the papers.

Walking out felt like I had shed a giant weight from around my neck. HR got me signed up for therapy tomorrow. My boss had put a bottle of champagne on my desk, offered me some time off if I needed it, but I told him I was excited to get back to work. Edit 2, adding relevant comments related to OOP to make the next update more understandable. Critical Bank 5269, did she disclose any more info about her infidelity child's father's ID? Or is she just running through the motions at this point? OOP, she had already told me who the BIO Dad was, but I don't know if I can believe her. Doesn't matter to me at this point. She did say she hasn't reached out to him yet, which makes me think she is deflecting.

Not my monkey, not my circus anymore. Equivalent B-A 86, did you know the Biodad? Was he part of your friend group? What happened at the first meeting with the lawyers? OOP, I think I remember meeting him a time or two, but he was not part of our friends group. First meeting was just a prelim with my lawyer outlining our terms and what we intended to do if she contested any of our terms. Deleted, how are you doing?

Can you update us? OOP, my ex got her share of the equity on the house and has already moved into her new apartment and I moved back into tomorrow. Court-ordered DNA test came back and the judge has approved the motions to terminate my house. parental rights and obligations. The divorce won't be final till April but for all intents and purposes, I'm free. Only contact I have with my ex's messages through my lawyer or meetings at the lawyer's office with her present. I blocked the ex and some of her family and friends, she has said she wants to sit down and talk at some point but my lawyer said it should

wait till after the divorce is final. I had dinner with AP's wife again as we keep each other up to date on our ex-spouses. I almost feel sorry for him, she got him fired and is determined to drag out the divorce and inflict as much pain as possible. Equivalent B-886, how did she get AP fired? Was AP an employee of the school district? OOP, AP worked for her family's business. She told her dad and uncle who ran the business what he did. She didn't have to ask twice. They took his laptop, company phone, credit card, and company car the next morning with no notice. All he got was a cardboard box with his personal stuff and was escorted out. All in about 15 minutes.

Equivalent B. 886, you had dinner with her twice. I get the impression that you like her. You could have easily caught up over the phone. Sometimes both BS become support systems for each other. It is not uncommon for both BS to really like each other and for more to develop or am I reading into this too much. OOP, comrades in arms so to speak. We have been able to fill in the holes of what we know about our spouse's affairs. And we both have a macabre interest in the fate of our exes and their APs.

All evidence from both sides points to about six weeks and them meeting up three times. The amount of SEGs is hard to say. Update 2 So throughout and after my divorce I have kept in contact with Sharon, OBS, as we had shared details about our ex's affair and both of us were interested in the consequences our spouses ended up suffering and we provided each other moral support. We talk on the phone and usually have dinner once or twice a month to catch up. Last month, Sharon said that one of her friends was getting married and had invited her to the

wedding. Her ex, Stan, was also invited as he was a friend of the groom. Her invitation had a plus one and she pitched the idea of me going with her, both as moral support and as a dig at her ex Stan. It was a weekend event and we would share a room with double beds, strictly platonic. The idea amused me so I agreed. We flew in the day before the wedding and at dinner with several of Sharon's friends, I was introduced as her friend. No more. mention of our history and the divorce. We didn't run into Stan until right before the ceremony as they escorted us to the bride's side, while Stan was seated on the groom's side. Needless to say he was less than pleased and kept looking over at us, something Sharon was well aware of.

At the reception we were seated with some of Sharon's friends from the night before and we picked up where we left off and everyone was quite engaged. Stan was seated at a table across the room from us, but in clear view, we danced quite a bit together and probably drank more than we should. There was a brief confrontation with Stan and Sharon, but her friends diffused it quickly and spirited Sharon away. At the hotel after the reception we had drinks with two other couples. Several comments about Stan shooting daggers at us all night and a few about how cute a couple we made in questions about if we were serious or not. We laughed it off and said we were just friends. I had to support Sharon on the way to the room and had my arm around her, on the cramped elevator

ride we were standing quite close. When we got to the room there was a tense moment and we kissed. Good judgment lost out to the alcohol and we ended up sleeping together. Next morning we never spoke much about the elephant in the room as we rushed to catch our flight home. We did run into Stan as we were checking out and he made a snide remark and walked off. Once we were on the plane we talked about what happened, that neither of us were sorry but questioned the wisdom of the timing. We both agreed we each needed some time to process what happened and agreed to have dinner next week and talk about it then. I know neither of us has tried to date since our divorce, I haven't been in the right headspace to even flirt much less date. I have a session already scheduled with my therapist where I will bring this up.

But we did have a great weekend at the wedding. Next story, I'm 15 weeks pregnant and my husband gets four weeks paid paternity leave but only wants to take one week because he doesn't want to lose money, so I told him I'd rather do everything alone, but then he called himself a deadbeat. Hey everyone, I, 23F, am 15 weeks along, my husband, 25m, and I have just started talking about all of the appointments slash schedules going on until the end of the year, baby due in November. We found out I would not be getting paid maternity leave, but he would be getting paid paternity leave for up to four weeks. I've already started saving up for when I will be out of work for three weeks after the baby, I work from home, and I didn't really think it would be a problem for him to help me out for three weeks while I healed, and then let me readjust for a week while I try to transition back to work. His response was that he would be happy to take a week off, but if he needed to he could take two. His reason was that two weeks was $2,000 that he would already be missing out and didn't feel comfortable losing anymore. A few key details before I get into the juicy part we've been together for five years, just got married May 4th.

Yes, we had issues before the baby and no, the baby was not planned. I have pre-existing health issues, on top of being diagnosed with hypermesis grabadarum that have sent me to the ER four times already. He does new construction plumbing, so he's paid per project, but if you were to be working at the shop on a rainy day slash low inventory then he makes $15 an hour. Which he would be getting paid during leave, we already have three ginormous dogs that I take care of 80% of the time on top of all vet visits slash grooming. I feel that these are important tidbits so that you can better understand where I'm coming from. All I could do in response was sit there and cry. It hit me that I would honestly be doing this alone. I had already come to terms that once he went back to work,

I wouldn't get much help from him since he does work a job that is Manuel labor, and he already is exhausted without having a baby around. I told him that at this point, I'd rather him just take the day off for the birth than I'd handle the rest. I explained that a week was hardly anything and if I was expected to be okay with just that, then I'd rather take nothing. I've already been looking around in care and rover to find someone to help with the baby and the dogs. I don't have anyone else but him, since both of our parents work and we don't have any other family near us. I now feel selfish because he got upset by what I said and he said the baby isn't even

here yet, and I already feel like a deadbeat. I can't find anything online that says what's if a week is enough or not and now I feel horrible because I can't get past the emotional part of the situation. Someone tell me I'm wrong or something because I don't really know what to think anymore. Edit, a few things I feel like I need to point out since some of you are a bit on the cranky side. Yes, we use protection, hence, surprise baby, I live in Florida, maternity leave is not mandatory for employers. I could have done FMLA, but because I don't use my employer's insurance, it's not offered to me nor have I paid into it to use it. My main reason for this post was to get a viewpoint of all sides on this matter.

It's our first child and we had already discussed to have children later on in life. I never planned to get pregnant, I promised the baby and I are being monitored by my OB and my cardiologist. Update, I got a lot of questions slash comments about having an abortion and truthfully, it's not for me. I have nothing against abortions, I had already grown an attachment to my baby. I showed my husband the post and comments, it was all truly eye-opening for us both. We had some really hard conversations and some of the most groundbreaking talks.

We both ended up in therapy and in couples therapy. We still have a long way to go, but I feel like I'm living in a dream now. My job ended up paying for six weeks of maternity leave. My husband took two weeks off and his job gave him a baby bonus, on top of the end of year bonus. They were absolutely incredible during the journey. My pregnancy was absolutely horrible. My morning sickness sent me to the hospital seven times. I had two fours weekly, anemia, and pups, in the middle of summer.

I ended up on bed rest in October and I had her in November. She had a few complications that we faced and we ended up at a high-risk doctor, but the stars aligned and all of her issues were resolved by the time she was born. I labored for 36 hours and ended up having a C-section due to her heart rate dropping. Out of everything, that was the moment I was terrified. My C-section was absolutely traumatizing. I remember there were doctors everywhere, asking me questions and asking me if I was feeling anything. Every few minutes after they had given me numbing through my epidural, I kept getting my feeling back.

It was horrible feeling them cut and pulling in the burning pain. I swear, as soon as they pulled her out and she started screaming, it was the most peaceful I'd ever felt. The first two weeks with her was everything I had hoped and dreamed. My husband was incredible and took care of everything. I had never felt so loved in my entire life. He helped me do everything and was amazing at night watch. We are now officially seven months in and I swear life couldn't be better. I still work from home and she's with me while I work.

She's incredibly smart and we have a great routine together. She has four teeth, she's standing on her own and crawling. We are so close to saying, Mama. I never knew I could love someone as much as I do her, and I'm grateful that she's mine. I think regardless, I'd still have made the same decision to keep her. I know it would have been harder and a lot scarier. I've hated my life for as long as I can remember for one reason or another, but now I feel like I have actual purpose and she came at the most perfect time. I realize that not all stories are the same

and I hope that I don't seem insensitive, but I figured an update is an update, good or bad. If you ended up reading this, which I doubt anyone will. Thank you for the time. It means the world to me less than three. I hope you enjoy this story. My brother's girlfriend took my daughter's toys and clothing while they were over. When I caught her in the act, she claimed that the items had been promised to her daughters and accused me of causing a scene. Her. A bit of background here, I, 39F, have a brother, 32M, who I'll call Chase. Chase has been with this girl, 35F, that I'll call Vivian for almost two years now. About a month into their relationship, Vivian got pregnant with my nephew who is now

almost a year old. Vivian also has two daughters, 5F and 8F, from a previous relationship. Her daughters are very close in age to my daughter, 7F, and up until last weekend everyone got along fine. They live in a different state than us but come to visit fairly often and stay with us because we have the extra room. Last weekend they came to stay again and about an hour before they left my daughter noticed that a few of her favorite toys were missing. The girls were playing all weekends so I didn't think much of it and offered to help her

look for them. After about 20 minutes of searching we could not find the toys anywhere, so that we could not find the toys anywhere, so I asked Vivian's girls if they remembered where they were playing with them last. The girls said no, but acted a little guilty about it. I asked Chase and Vivian about it and Chase said he saw the exact toys in the room that Vivian's girls were sleeping in. We went to check and they were not there. He asked Vivian if she had moved them when she packed the girls' things that morning and she said they were not there. We went back into the living room and I saw Vivian's girls huddled close together over a backpack and quickly closed it when they saw

we were there. Chase asked the girls again if they knew where the toys were and this time they didn't say anything and just looked at their mom. Chase reached for the bag and Vivian lost it. She started yelling at me how dare I accuse her daughters of stealing and she tried to snatch the bag away. Chase opened it and there were the missing toys plus a few more. I was absolutely furious. I told her I wanted to see what else she had and demanded she opened the two suitcases. She said that was an invasion of her privacy and tried to take them and leave. Chase stopped her and made her open them. She had taken several tops, a few skirts and dresses, and a brand new pair of Nikes that belonged to my daughter. I took everything back and told her

she and her girls were not allowed back into my home. I have since received several texts from her and a few unknown numbers telling me I embarrassed her and upset her girls because they were promised the items. Chase is upset with her but said I was too mean to her in front of everyone and that I could have handled the situation more privately. I do feel awful that her girls left crying but Atha for how I handled the situation. Edit 1 answers to a few questions I keep getting. I am not sure who promised the girls the items. She would not elaborate but I'm assuming it was her. She wanted me to pull her aside into a different room away from Chase and the kids to talk the situation out.

Also, yes, I'm 99% sure the baby is his. He is almost a carbon copy of my brother when he was a baby. I do not believe the girls knew they were stealing the things. I really believe that their mom told them I said it was okay. We have never had problems with the girls before this. They really seem to be good kids. Also, I'll be talking with my brother tonight or tomorrow to discuss things. further.

Edit 2. Thank you all so much for the responses. I'm sorry I haven't been able to get to everyone's comments as I really didn't think this would take off. I talked with my brother last night and showed him a lot of your comments and suggestions and thanks to someone in the comments we now know a lot more about Vivian and the kind of person she really is. I will not be able to tell you all everything, but I can tell you that my brother and nephew

are now staying with us while he gets a DNA test and proceeds to cut ties with her. I may have more to give you all in the coming days or weeks depending on what the paternity test says. Again, thank you all so much. Comments where OPP has replied. Comment 1. NTA, holy shit that is a hot mess. You should not feel bad for their crying but you might talk to your brother about his terrible choice and partners. OOP, our family never really loved her but she has never done anything before this.

To my knowledge, that was a major red flag. Unfortunately, even if he does leave her he stuck for another 17 years comment too. NTA, I may not have thought to open the suitcases. I would have thought the girls just stole the toys but the clothes makes it seem like it was Vivian's act, especially if the girls were promised them. Who else would promise them? Your brother, his wife and children slash stepchildren shouldn't be invited back. anyone's saying anything to you can host them themselves or STFU

OOP I normally wouldn't have thought to check either but the way she grabbed them and tried to leave set off all the warning bells in my head comment three and who was there to be embarrassed in front of it sounds like it was just your two families you don't want to be called out as a thief don't steal OOP I embarrassed her in front of Chase and my perfect daughter as she called her OOP on not letting Vivian and her daughters back into her house OOP, they are no longer welcome back. My brother and nephew can stay anytime but he'll have to leave them at home. Comment four. So she promised your daughter's clothing, shoes and toys to her children. Steals them, gets caught and you're the bad guy. Nope. OOP, in her words your daughter has more stuff than all three of my kids combined comment five.

NTA. But I would like to add that the timing of her quick pregnancy is suspect. With her behavior of stealing your daughter's things and acting entitled to taking them, it feels like she hooked up with your brother for financial reasons. Your brother may consider requesting a paternity test if slash when he decides to end the relationship. Oh, O'OPA, my family thought the same thing. The baby does look exactly like my brother, so I do believe he is his, but you are probably onto something with the baby trapping. We knew her as a causal fling until she ended

up pregnant. Comment six. She was using a fake name? And has a record? Holy shit, dash I was just gonna say your NTA but also like, while she's so much more evil than I expected, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Oh, O-op, not necessarily fake. Apparently she was married before the girl's dad and was telling us that the first husband's last name was her maiden name. I'm honestly sick because I now know we know absolutely nothing about this woman who has had access to my home for the last year and a half. Mysterious cow 3423. This story sounds very familiar but not for the reasons others are saying. Do the initials cost apply to this post at all? Oh, op. Please message me comments seven. Look, I don't know if cost and op know each other and damn, do I want to, but if not, I think

we need the story of cost anyway. Mysterious Cow 3423 It's unfortunately her. Update 1, well this has certainly blown up but who am I to deny the people of what they want? Cost lore For obvious reasons I'm going to be a little vague with certain details for privacy reasons. Mainly I don't want this crazy train coming back into my life. life and hopefully you'll understand why by the end. So buckle up bitches, this one is long and

wild. And please don't judge me, we don't associate with any of these people anymore and haven't for over a decade. Also, I will say that she is a very pretty girl and has usually gotten whatever she wants from men so she's not used to hearing number 2005. When I was 18 my then-boyfriend now husband, and I were invited to a house party hosted by a friend of a friend to celebrate graduation. We knew about half the people there and had been to the house a handful of times before. We were all hanging out in the basement and after a few drinks I went upstairs to use the bathroom and that's where I met Kost who was 14 at the time. The bathroom door was open so I walked in and turned on the light, but to my surprise there she was with some guy in the bathtub, doing things you typically wouldn't do

in an unlocked room. I apologized and found a different bathroom. About an hour later she came downstairs where the rest of us were and locked in on my boyfriend and made a beeline for him. Keep in mind I am right next to him. She tries to sit on his lap and when he pushes her off of him she pops back up like a demented jack in the box and immediately starts screeching about how she was just playing you aren't even hot and you could do so much better than her to him. We stayed another hour or so and left. A week later she was blowing up the guy's phone that she hooked up with telling him she was pregnant. When he didn't believe her, because honestly who would after just a week, she tried to press charges for our P. I do know my boyfriend and I both

had to talk to a police officer because we were both there and I was the one that walked in on them. I don't know what happened after that, but the charges were eventually dropped. 2009, my husband and I are 22 and she is 18. We are now married and living on the East Coast because he's in the military. We come home for his parents' Fourth of July party and get tasked with going to get more ice. He runs into pay and I'm standing by the ice chests outside waiting for him and guess who shows up. She walks straight up to me and says something along the lines of she's glad I finally learned my place and that her and my husband have been so happy together for the last year. She also made some very vulgar comments about their Seg's life.

I don't even have time to react to her when he comes back outside and she goes pale and then bright red. This crazy bish then has the audacity to look at my husband and ask him what he wants for dinner that night and tried to remind him of plans they have that weekend to go to the lake with her family while he just stands there staring at her like a dumbass and then asks if he knows her. I absolutely lose it and almost piss myself from laughing as she stalks off. Once we are back to his parents, he gets a FB friend request from her and deletes it. Over the period of three days she sends him four or five friend requests so he blocks her. We go back to NC the following week and forget all about her again.

2010, I am now seven months pregnant with our daughter and we fly back to our hometown one last time before she's born of course run into Koss again at Walmart. I know how it sounds but we're from a town of about 5,000 people so you kind of see everyone all the damn time whether you want to or not. I'm noticeably pregnant as I'm about seven months long. I'm also only 5 feet 2 inches and at the time weighed about 115 pounds so it was very clearly a baby bump. She is with her sister and they seem to be following us, but we try to ignore them. We are now checking out and again they are right behind us still acting like children, but in her defense she was 19-ish at the time. We are still ignoring them and her sister says fairly loudly he'll dump her now that she's fat.

We continue to ignore them and lead the store. Later that day a friend tells us to check Facebook and lo and behold there is a picture of me in the snack aisle with the caption when you catch your surrogate buying nothing but junk food and so many comments agreeing how horrible I am. This psycho had been telling everyone that I was the surrogate for her and my husband's baby. We filed and row the next day. 2018, we moved back to our hometown and buy my family's farmland to start our own cattle business. Highly don't recommend if you like to be able to make and keep plans, see your family, or take vacations. As far as we know she has gotten married and is living her life away from us. About six months into us being back, we get a letter in the mail

from a family lawyer saying my husband needs to present himself for a paternity test and we were being sued for child support. Apparently the baby girl came out white and Kasa's husband was not. She told her husband that my husband had our pet her and that it was his baby. Charges were filed and thankfully we were still in North Carolina at the time of conception and the army is very meticulous about no where their soldiers are at all times. The RP charges were immediately dismissed as was the paternity test and child support. We filed another row and installed cameras all over our property. Her husband ended up adopting the baby and they stayed together. 20-20, she makes the front page of our town paper. Apparently Koss had had another baby girl who also did not

match her husband's skin tone. He kicked her and the kids out and one night she came back to his house. In full view of his security cameras, in her own car, with the kids and set his porch on fire. The husband got temporary custody of the girls for about two years while Koss was in jail. 2023, she gets the girls back and dips out of state. The husband files a police report and everyone is looking for her. Unfortunately, the husband passes in a car accident the same year. 2025, I'm doomed scrolling on Reddit and see a story that sounds very familiar and here we are. Reasons I thought it was her from the other post, her and the girl's ages. We knew she had a baby boy recently. She has a history of theft and immediately playing the victim when

caught. We still have a few mutuals on FB, so I do see her posts from time to time and knew she moved in with the new guy, Ops' brother from the other post, about a year and a half ago. Well, I think that's the meat and potatoes of it. I'll be around later this afternoon to answer any questions. I may have some of the dates off but hell, my memory is trashed these days and I try not to think about her or any of those crazies. Comments where Ops has replied, comment one, her fixation on your husband is so scary. Hopefully she continues to leave you alone.

I also hope her kids turn out okay because between the other story and this one it sounds like she is a many personal growth opportunity zoop. She has tried to reach him via social media a few times, but we don't really do FBE or anything like that anymore and just try to live pretty private lives. I really think part of it is jealousy because he's one of the few that never fell for her charms.

Like I said, it's a very small town and she really is a pretty girl. Comment two, be prepared, she's crazy and she'll come back when she reads the story on Reddit and realizes it's about her and maybe reads this too. Oop, we have enough to get another row at any time. We also have security cameras all over our property and a few dogs that are the embodiment of Wisha MF would comment three. As bats hit crazy as this chick is, I'm super glad to see you. and your husband have stuck by each other's side.

That part makes me happy for you. Oop, thank you. He's my best friend and has been since eighth grade. The crazier thing is he's not the only one she's latched on over the years, but I don't feel comfortable telling other people's stories. I'll get a hold of the other guy she's been obsessed with and see if he will allow me to tell his story on here. What was Coase like when growing up?

Was she displaying that kind of behavior? Oop, I agree with you 100%, but at what point do you grow up and see what you're going is absolutely insane. I do know her childhood wasn't great, they were pretty low income so they did struggle but I know her parents and her siblings and aside from the one sister, they are all really good people. One of her brothers owns a very successful trucking company that we actually have a contract with for our cattle business. Her other sister is a nurse at our local hospital. Coase is the baby of the five of them and was kind of allowed to do whatever she wanted so I think that played into it too. Update 2, Coase Update. Hey y'all, this is probably going to be the last

Coase update for a while. It's been a rough 48 hours between some issues we're having on the farm due to four days straight of rain and Coase finding the posts about her. I'll try to be brief but give you guys an update as to what's going on. I have been in contact with the op from the first post and have permission to include a couple updates from her situation as well. Coase has been arrested. Her girls are safe with Ops' brother and they are all back at his house. She found the posts and went feral with comments and even a post which included a picture of my husband she took from my Facebook that I have since had to deactivate.

We called our local sheriff department about the harassment and learned she had an active warrant. I was able to get in touch with Opp to find out exactly where she was and they contacted the law enforcement agency in that area and they went and got her. We have pressed charges as well. Right now she's looking at stalking, harassment, child endangerment, resisting arrest and assault on an officer. Among the charges she already had pending. I knew what might happen if I responded to Ops Post, but I do not regret reaching out to her or exposing her antics. What matters is everyone is safe and she is being held without bond. Update from Opp, the girls are safe with my brother and he has all three children. He has been awarded temporary guardianship and

will be getting them into counseling in the coming week. I tried to press charges but as the items never left my home, I was unable to. We will have the results of the paternity test next week, as well, but no matter the outcome he will be trying to get full rights to my nephew. Update 3. Good morning all. I have a couple updates for you but first we need to discuss some things. I appreciate all the love we are getting from this but some of you need to check yourselves. I will not be posting pictures of her. I will not be linking articles. I will not be posting mugshots.

I will not be posting her court records. While yes, all of this is public record and can be found online, it will also expose our names, address, and personal information. If you ask, you will be blocked. If I have to block enough people I will delete. this account and then no one will get updates. Sorry to be an ass but this is our lives, our home, and I have to put us and our children's safety first. I have also had a few questions on why we moved back with all of this going on every time we came home. This farm

has been in my family for over 120 years and I will not be giving that up over her. Now on to the updates. Koss is still in jail and will be held there until her court date in the coming months. After which she will be transferred back to where she was arrested to face charges there that include child endangerment, resisting arrest, and assault on an officer. We have had a few people ask if we are safe and yes we are. We have security cameras that run 24-7 on all structures, barns, houses, sheds, garages, everything, out here both inside and out. And well, yes, part of the reason we have them installed was because of her. The main reason is we own a working cattle farm. Farm accidents happen all of the time and our insurance is a lot less if we have

them so no. We're not just being paranoid like a few have hinted at. I mentioned in a comment that her brother owns a trucking company that we work closely with so I was able to father-in-law him in on everything going. He is talking to Upps' brother to take in the girls and they have a family court hearing on Friday and will hopefully be living with their uncle soon. He is a really good guy and his wife is amazing. If they were anything like costs, they would not be working for us and I believe they are the girls' best option for a normal upbringing. Now on to the baby boy. Chase is the father.

He already has a lawyer and given the circumstances should be able to get full custody and rights to him going forward. I will update again after the hearing on Friday, as we will be going with him to help him get the girls. As far as I know Koss has not reached out to check on them since being arrested. Oh and no, her late husband's accident was not her doing. He was driving home one night after being at the bar and went off the road. He was found the next day and there were no signs of foul play.

It was determined the most likely cause was he was intoxicated. An animal ran out in front of him and he swerved to miss it but hit a tree. Update 4. Hey y'all, it's been a minute. I don't know if anyone I'm even cares anymore, but I have a final update. The girls are now in the custody of their uncle, Kasa's brother, and his wife. They started school this fall and doing absolutely great. They are a little behind but are so smart and catching up quick. Baby boy is with his dad and also doing great.

Koss is locked up and will be for at least the next three to five years. She pled guilty to a lot which expedited the process but did reduce the jail time. She signed her rights away to the baby but not the girls. That is still ongoing unfortunately. Comment where OP has replied. comment. Good update, Opie. I hope things will start getting better for you and that other Opie now that cost is no longer an issue. I hope the girls aren't hurt by any of this and live a much better and happier life. Oop, like I said they were a little behind academically and they do

have a few behavioral issues but all in all they are really good kids. They are doing so much better than anyone expected and are in therapy. We even had them out to the house a couple times to see the new calves and they really enjoyed themselves. I hope you enjoy this story. I overheard my partner telling her friend that I will never excel as a lover like her former partner did, because he was naturally endowed and I am struggling to move on from what I overheard. Now our relationship is broken. It was quite by accident that I heard this. We had a group of our friends over and as the night went on we all kind of busted out into little groups. Some of us were in one playing Texas Holdom and a couple of others were watching the Lord of the Ring Marathon.

I thought she was watching the movies, but she and one of her close friends were actually sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking. Our group had run out of soda, so I got up to go to the kitchen to get drinks and a couple of snacks. As I'm rounding the corner I hear my fiancé talking and before I completely come in the room I hear her clearly say Jason is great, but he will never be the lover that Bill was. She then followed it up with its not really fair to Jason though, Bill was just really gifted down there. At first I thought about just walking back into the card game and pretending like we didn't have any extra soda or food, but I decided to kind of make a noise and go in.

Her friend caught eye of me rounding the corner and I could see her make a face to my fiancé letting her know I was there. Of course she has no idea I hurt her and she just stops talking to her and asks me how I'm doing and if I'm having fun. I was tempted to say something like I'm having as much fun as someone who is not gifted down there can, but I didn't. I just said yes and proceeded to get my stuff and go back and finish the night. I just acted like nothing was wrong the rest of the night and went to bed. Needless to say it fucked me up. I mean fuck me up bad. I've never been jealous or what you would call insecure about myself until that moment.

I couldn't sleep that night and I went through a myriad of emotions while laying there. At first I was angry. Then I was humiliated. Then I was depressed. Then I was angry again. Look, I realized that the male ego seems stupid to women and even guys who are totally self-assured. I would have agreed with most of this prior to that night, but once it has been damaged it is a bitch. I tried to hide any form of emotion about it or ever let her know, but as the days went on I just kept getting worse and worse.

I was avoiding her at all costs and while she was suspicious she didn't really say anything. That is until she attempted to be intimate with me a few days later and I flat out rejected her. It wasn't by a conscious decision on my part, by the way. I had made the decision on my own to just try and get over it and move on. But in the moment instead of being sexually aroused I felt deeply inadequate and ashamed. Nothing was happening no matter how much either of us tried. She asked me what was wrong and I just told her I must have been stressed from work but she would not believe that or let it go. So much to my humiliation there I laid, naked in bed, unable to get an erection.

I came clean and told her what I heard. Well, this did not go over well at all. At first she tried to tell me I did not hear her correctly. But I just repeated to her verbatim what she had told her friend. Well, once she couldn't deny it, she then tried to apologize. and to her credit she tried to listen to my feelings on the matter, which once again I am sure was more of a big turn-off for her because I was a wreck emotionally. She tried to tell me how much of a better person I was and how I satisfied her and she wanted nobody else.

But all I could hear was Charlie Brown's teacher noise. It's been almost a month and I have zero desire to be with her sexually. None. She is now getting frustrated about this as well, but no matter what I have tried I just cannot get past this. It's not like she said we were both good lovers or anything like that. She clearly said he was far superior and my guess is that being gifted down there means he was significantly larger than me as well. Well I know I can do all kinds of things with my hands, tongue and whatever else. But no matter what I do I can't grow in size. Obviously she refuses to talk about that with me saying that no matter what she says it will only make things worse because even if she says something positive

about me I won't believe her. She's most likely right. Some backstory here. He dumped her. It was not a mutual breakup, he flat out dumped her and broke her heart. I know this because early on in our relationship she told me this. She said she wasn't ready to be serious about anybody

because her previous ex left her and emotionally broke her. So this is not a case of me even being able to say, well, she's with me because she wants to be. If he hadn't dumped her, she would never have left him. Now I have no idea if after all of these years she would leave me for him if he would come back, but I don't think she would. I just don't know what to do here. I can feel myself checking out of the relationship.

I know this is petty as shit, but hearing a person you love tell someone else they prefer to have segs with someone else is just devastating to me. Her telling me all of my other good qualities has only made it worse because she is saying things that I think appeal to her and maybe other women but being told I am a good provider and will make a great husband makes me feel like shit. Like what would happen if I lost my good paying job or better yet what if I were to get injured and couldn't make anything more than state assistance? Would she be there to support and help me? Basically what I feel like right now is a really good friend who she just allowed to have segs with. I know in my head that this is not correct but in my heart that is what I feel. I'm sorry for the length here and I don't even know what I am asking here.

I am totally lost and if this continues I just think I'm going to break our engagement. Edit 1. Holy God. I made this post last night and answered a couple of questions and then went to bed and got up today and went Christmas shopping hoping to make me forget my troubles and didn't even log in until just now. I have not even started to read the, at this point, 7.7,000 comments on this post. I don't know what anyone has said yet but thank you all for commenting either way. I am now going to begin the massive undertaking of looking at the comments. Also, thank you for the gold and silver kind Internet strangers.

Edit 2, Dear God. I read all the way down to the bottom of the page thinking I had gotten through most of everything and then at the bottom it said load the 5.5k more posts. I'm stopping for the night, well morning actually. I was going to respond to people individually but there is just no way. I haven't even started reading the direct messages to me yet, nor have I opened any of the 20 chat screens. There are issues I want out there because there are a couple of things that are being said that are not accurate. One, she was to use the Barney Gumble phrase using sweet, sweet drunk talk.

In other words, her and her friend were drunk while talking. Nope, neither of us drink. We don't even have it in the house. 2. That I am upset she told her friend. Well, this is an odd thing, before I posted this honestly I wasn't that upset about this part. I was then and am still far more upset that this is how she feels. However, now reading a lot of the post I have become somewhat aggravated that she did share this with her friend. I would never say anything about her to anyone that would put her in a lesser light.

3. That I am an insecure man-child who should just man up and learn to do better. Well, I'm certain the first part is true, being insecure and all. But the last part is just out of my control. No matter what I do I will only ever be seven inches long. We have talked about this by the way, when she was trying to build me up. She said that I was already great with everything but the one thing I can't control. Okay, so I gave myself about a half inch to feel bad. better, four. No, I'm not going to do anything rash. It's already been a month so it's not like

this happened last week. But yes, I have to decide what I'm going to do here before long. It's not fair to either of us as I am just coasting through this and no longer committed. Five, she is sorry that I heard it. She said she is sorry she said it, but at the end of the day she would not be sorry if I didn't catch her saying it. It is what it is. But yes I do, believe she is regretting it because she has basically been a mess since I first told her. Me not wanting to be with her is bothering her a lot according to her. I don't know how much of that I believe, but right now I guess I don't know why she would lie. It really has wrecked hell on our Christmas spirit this year I know that. Edit 3. Engineer for those who keep asking what I do

for a living. She is a paralegal. Edit 4. People have been asking about the relationship with the ex and how I know she was heartbroken. We met about nine months after they separated. I know that ultimately he wanted to be with someone else, although she has claimed he never cheated. He just ended things so he could be with another woman. She approached me at a local workshop and we started dating. On our fourth date when things started to get physical,

she broke down crying about the ex. It was certainly weird to hold someone while they cried about someone else, but I did it. We sporadically dated for a couple more months in which time I never tried to cross any boundaries physically because it was obvious she wasn't over him. So while we just went out of dates I tried to keep myself of the mind that we were just friends because I didn't want to commit either. After close to two months she drags me from my car to her apartment and begins to tell me how much she has appreciated my patience with her and how she felt stupid about dragging me along for so long. Obviously that was our first night together. Within three months of that she is telling me that she loves me.

So yes, she was still hung up on her ex for fact when we got together. I had thought slash hoped she was over him before this happened. Update 1, the main thread has over 8.3K posts and is a couple of day old now, but I wanted to try and respond to some general thoughts. It is absolutely impossible for me respond to everyone or even most people and at this point putting up edits I think is counterproductive because the thread is a few days old now, so I doubt people are going back to reread the op. I don't want to make an update there yet because I'm not really updating anything. Nothing has happened yet, per se, however, I have a few things to get off of my chest. So this seems like the best place to do that before I update my op. I have had so many people post on the original thread and twice as many

people send me PMs telling me to hit the weight room and get in shape and transform myself into some form of weightlifting God. I am sure that these people are all filled with the best of intentions. Well, not all of them because I have also had several people call me all forms of names while telling me to hit the weights. Here is the problem for those people. They are using a stereotype about engineers and think that I fit that stereotype. I was a state finalist in wrestling in high school and got a partial scholarship to a Division 2 school for wrestling. I competed both my freshman and sophomore years. However, due to throwing a goddamn baseball, I tore my rotator cuff and while my recovery had me well on my way back, my physical therapy prohibited me from

being ready for my junior year. I did not go back for my senior year as my workload and girlfriend were too much to also dedicate the time for wrestling. Wrestling was very physically demanding and time-consuming. Now I freely admit that not training to compete did not leave me in even one-eighth the shape I was in at my prime I have stayed in shape. To this day I still lift and do cardio at my local gym. I've been getting my ass kicked lately by my friend who is doing a mite I work out. I've been trying to keep up with him but freely admit I have a lot of leg work to do. Now this leads me to want to focus on a couple of other things. You will notice I said girlfriend. Contrary to what some of you have said or implied I was not some in cell or neck

beard prior to meeting my fiancé. I have had several girlfriends and yes, even a couple of NSA relationships. So that is why this bothered me more than it probably should have. In other words prior to this while I may not have been the world's most confident guy I never felt like it was an issue. I've never ever ever had another woman say something like this in earshot of me about me. I mean, did they say it when I couldn't hear? I have no idea but till the moment she said that I never had any self-doubt or lack of confidence. Now does me having this mental breakdown over this make me a man-child, weak or straight-up pussy as I've been called. I don't know, maybe. Hell probably. But bluntly speaking, I've never had anything like this happened to me

before. Every breakup I've ever gone through was for the most part mature. I have had a had a very childish breakup in high school, but does that even count? Also to all of the geniuses that keep telling me to learn a new technique or practice or just plain get better at sakes. That's not the issue here, guys. She didn't say that I could work on the issue at hand. She straight up told her friend that I would never be able to measure up, so to speak, because of a physical attribute that I can do nothing about. I could become an Oriental Lickmaster and at the end of the day I am never going to be able to finish her by jack hammering with what I can only imagine must be a nine inches dong.

Should that matter? Well, it fucking doesn't matter if it should matter, it obviously does to her or she would not have said it. I don't know of any single way we can unring this bell. Which then brings me to the biggest thing I want to get off of my chest. There are several poster, both men and women and ironically gay males over 30 who have a subreddit that I guess I am a topic on, who have said it's just sags. Well, those words do not exist in my vocabulary for someone I love.

I admit that I had a couple of NSA partners in grad school, but even with them I developed feelings and had to part because I could not just do that. I don't do ONS and since my mid-20s have only participated SEGs via a relationship. I found out that I am just not capable of having SEGs and just having SEGS. I get it, there are many of you who don't feel that way. Great for you, I don't feel that way and I am not going to fight myself to make myself feel that way. Do I need to be my fiancé's best ever? Well, why the hell should I not want that? If you would have asked me before that night I would have thought I was. But now that I know I'm not.

Well, no, I'm not really okay with the fact that I can never measure up. I mean if I could work on something or improve something or take more time or something, sure. But to hear her say I can never be as good. Yay, sorry that is a little more than my ego can take. Call me whatever name you want, but it is what it is. But some of the really most disgusting stuff that was said to me is that I should be happy that she is with me and allows me to have segs with her so she must want me. allows me to have Sags with her. I cannot describe in enough words how that offends me. Maybe I've lived in a Disney fantasy world for me,

but I always wanted to be with someone who wanted to be with me. Not someone who allows me out of some form of obligation. So does that make me a sissy, as a few of you have PM'd me? I don't care if it does. I refuse to be a person who begs for Sags, period. If whoever I'm with does not want to be with me as much as I want to be with her then fuck it. I'll just pay an escort and probably save myself money in the long run. Look, I don't know for 100% sure what I'm going to do yet. I have a very strong feeling what I'm

going to do but I haven't done anything yet. If this is the wrong forum, just let me know. Anyway, I'll try and do my best to respond to posts here. Update 2. It all came to a head last night. She just came out and asked me if I did not love her anymore and all that I could tell her was that a very large part of me still did but that what she said had really made it so that another part of me just didn't anymore. This started a larger conversation that I won't bore you with but ultimately it came down to me saying that I would have heard that he was just better at something or more attentive to something or was able to do something that I would have felt like I could have worked on it. I would have listened to anything she wanted worked on any technique or

anything else that she would have shared with me. But to know that I was never going to measure up simply because of a physical issue was not something I thought I could get over any time soon or if I ever could for that matter. I was even honest and said that if it was just a ONS she had or some random guy who was just huge I might be able to get past that. But knowing that it was a guy who she was still madly in love with when I met her and only after time did she ever start to come around than it was just more than I could handle, she kept trying to tell me how much better I was at everything else and that I should not throw away a lifetime over one aspect. I told her that that one aspect sadly was just a high for me, not all things are equal and that honestly it is

a mental failing on my part that it is but whether it is genetics or a learned trait or whatever that yes I needed to be my spouse's best and she has already made it clear that I can never be. I tried my best to be gentle, I tried to take all of the blame of stating that I knew that my attitude was probably not healthy but it was who I am. By the way I'm typing that as though this were a clean conversation, it wasn't, there was lots of crying, by both of us. This is not a happy ending or even a satisfying one. I am beyond fucked up in the head over the entire situation. Everybody's Christmas is ruined.

We had big family gatherings that we both were attending together and now we have to somehow break it to our families what has happened. This alone is causing me massive stress because my parents loved her and what in the hell am I going to say is the reason why we are not together. She didn't cheat and if I say that I felt like she was still hung up on her ex, she will obviously deny it and she will tell them the truth. It's fucked up no matter how this goes down. In the end I feel like a massive failure. I feel like a failure as a man because of not living up to comparison and I feel like a failure because I wasn't able to just man up and either get over it. She has begged me to go to couples

counseling and initially I said no because at the end of the day what does it change? We can talk about every single thing and I can try and look at things from a different way and at the end of the day the woman who I wanted to marry just told one of our friends that no matter what I do I will never be as good as her ex. I just cannot see five years from now ever being okay with this. But because she legitimately seems heartbroken I agreed to go, but that does not mean I will keep going. Today I moved out a lot of my stuff and am staying with a co-worker for a few days until I can get a place for myself. She has been with her sister all day. I feel like shit. Thank you to everyone who took the time to type out a response. I honestly have tried to read

everything even if I didn't reply to very many. The bitch of all of this is that I still love her. There is so much of me right now that wants to pick up the phone and call her and beg her to come back. Edit 1. Well, once again I posted this and then went away for a while. I went with my friend to see Mortal Engines and then to dinner and then we've been talking for a long while so I started reading a while ago. It is going to take me forever to read and once again I don't think responding individually will ever happen because of the large number of posts and private messages. But, thank all of you for reading and responding. Edit 2, I guess I do want to share one thing I spoke with her about. When we were having our very long conversation I presented her with a scenario for her to compare.

I know her well enough to know that comparing body parts or sexual prowess isn't going to impact her the same way it would me. So I put the scenario to her like this. I said, what if you walked in and overheard me talking with my friend Tim and you heard this? Jill is great but she will never understand me and comfort me the way Tiffany did but it's not Jill's fault Tiffany is just the smartest most compassionate person I've ever known and Jill just isn't as smart. Then if she would confront me about saying those things about her that my response to her would have been. I love you for all of your other qualities. Nobody makes a sandwich like you do and I think long term you won't gauge me for my money at first. She tried to say that this was a totally different issue but once we talked more than.

about it she finally agreed it is because of the way we both approach and value sex. She ultimately admitted that this would really hurt her feelings but she would not break up with me over it. I then responded that even in my make-believe scenario, which by the way I would never say to anyone out loud about anyone I loved, she could improve her level of education and learn to be more compassionate. Edit 3. If anyone even reads this I want to add one last thing. people have been telling me what a whiny bitch I am, that's one of the more kind things they've said, because I can't get over someone else in the world having a bigger dick than me. Not going to lie and say I'm thrilled with it, but I'm not dumb enough to think I have a giant

magic wand or anything. I had grown up believing what I now know to be a lie that women don't care about size. Some don't, but obviously some do and my ex is one of those that obviously did. but even with that ultimately I might have been able to get over it if it was just said as a matter of fact. But hearing that no matter what I did, how much I loved her or any other thing that I was never going to be as good as what has bothered me since. Yes, size is obviously a big part of it, but if I hadn't heard that I would never be the lover I think I might have been okay. Well, not okay but at least not relationship killing. Yes, I overvalue Sags.

I get that. Yes, it is very important to me and well frankly I want to be wanted as much as I want to want someone, if that makes any sense. Yes, I know whoever I date in the future will most likely have had someone who was either bigger, better, or whatever. But I would really hope that they would not be still hung up on it a few years later. Update 3. I wasn't going to post anymore, but I am still getting daily direct messages wanting to know how things are going. I do appreciate the kind words and concerns. But just so anyone who cares can know, it is over. I went to counseling with her on three different occasions and honestly I tried to have an open

mind about it, but at the end of the day the obstacle was just too much to overcome. I even gave her an opportunity to walk back her statement or amend it or well-do whatever she wanted to with it. But instead she doubled down in a way. I think by that time she was very frustrated as well. Neither of us are really happy about this. It has been an absolute nightmare for me trying to avoid telling people slash family why we are no longer together. Of course I tried the old it's none of your business to some of them but that failed spectacularly

and since I refused to tell they decided she cheated on me and started spreading that around. I've had to do a lot of damage control over that. I've decided to continue with therapy on a personal level because honestly this entire thing has really messed with my head and I have no self-esteem left at all. I've only seen her once since we separated and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. She is now, justifiably so, in the angry stage. She is furious with me and has called me everything that you can imagine and then even made up some words. I hope you enjoy this story. Fell ill and lost consciousness at my spouse's workplace after looking after our child throughout

the entire day, then regained consciousness by myself on the ground since he abandoned me there and departed. To bed, so when I confronted him he strangled me and started throwing dishes at me. I, 24F, and my husband, 26M, we've been married for a few years and have a baby. We had relationship issues after the baby, but I thought we had resolved them and he promised he would be better and all that. He did get better, he did his share around the house and house chores aren't a big issue because he just does what needs to be done without complaint but something at the back of my head felt off. I never really explored the nagging feeling but now I realized that he never showed me any extra care. In fact, he gets upset or easily frustrated

with me if I cause any extra inconvenience. Not sure how I didn't notice until now. So two days ago, I think I got sick. I was feeling that gross thick skin feeling and, vertigo, lightheaded, Ike, and by nighttime I was shivering and freezing. I was still able to function so I didn't think much of it. Complained to my husband about it and then we went to sleep. Yesterday, I woke up feeling like my bones were lead. I'd cow I functioned yesterday but it felt like autopilot.

My boss messaged me with some tasks so I did them on my phone before my baby woke up. rolled out of bed and somehow took my sister to school, came back and worked some more. Usually I have energy to flip between being a mom and working, but yesterday I just laid on the floor to work while my one-year-old watched some Miss Rachel. Then had to pick up my sister from school, come home to make dinner and by the time my husband came home, I felt dead on my feet. Any time I moved, it felt like I was lagging and my body couldn't keep up. I told my husband this a few times.

We ate, I put away the leftovers and put the baby to sleep while my husband went to his office to do some quick work. After this, I don't really remember because my brain was foggy. I found myself in his office. We exchanged a few words but I don't remember what and next thing I knew. I woke up alone in his office on the floor. I felt so heavy and out of it. It took so much effort to get up but when I got out, all the lights were off, the kitchen was not touched and he was in bed. I just stood in the kitchen and realized that he just doesn't care. I already knew he wasn't going to clean the kitchen tomorrow, and that he didn't care I felt off. I had a busy day planned and I didn't have time to wash all the dishes the next day.

So I loaded the dishwasher and then went to bed. I laid down and five minutes later, my husband, very angrily, told me to turn off the lights in the kitchen. At this point I had no energy to deal with him, so I ignored him and fell asleep. The next morning, today, I woke up covered in sweat, but that gross feeling was gone. That's when I realized that I was sick. My husband was upset with me. He wouldn't talk or look at me and was stomping around. I tried to ask him about yesterday, but he just grumbled something about me confusing him.

Everything from yesterday caught up and I just can't see him the same. I realized that he has never taken care of me or done anything that was inconvenient for him. I've been sick before and every time it's the same thing. He gets upset at me somehow. After I had a baby, he was upset that nothing was kept up around the house yet got angry with me when I fainted from overexertion at two weeks postpartum. I remember him yelling at me that I did this to myself and it's my fault for not taking care of myself even though just two days before, he was telling me that he was angry with me

for not keeping up with laundry and that I needed to clean the kitchen because it was starting to smell and he didn't want to cook anymore. Don't even get me started on how he never woke up at night. All these memories hit me and I just am disgusted by him. How did I not see this? What do I even do? I'm going to stop here before the post gets too long. Edit, he just texted me saying he's beat and could barely brush his teeth this morning. I don't even know what to respond. I can't believe I took care of this man every time he got sick and after two surgeries. Update, hi, so I'm still alive. I've had a surprising amount of people message me a week or two ago and it's very kind of you people to care.

I'll go right into what happened. I went to the hospital that day, since a shocking percentage of people suspected he could have messed with something but no. The doctor said nothing came up. But he did say I had high blood pressure and recommended me to a cardiologist. I still have a month left before the appointment. When my husband got home from work, he was acting like everything was normal. I wanted to see if he would inquire at all about my faint the night prior but nothing.

So after the baby was settled for the night, I asked him why I woke up alone in his office. He got instantly angry with me and seemed annoyed I even brought it up. He said that I was acting confusing and what was he supposed to do. I should have told him what I wanted him to do. I told him about my visit to the hospital and he said that going to the hospital is a little much. I told him the doctor said I am showing signs of heart issues, likely caused by stress. He blew up on me, yelling that I'm causing my own early grave and that it's my fault for not taking care of myself. With that, he closed himself in the room, leaving me to clean up after dinner alone again.

Except I decided that I wouldn't so I went on the couch and watched a movie. He came out, suddenly friendly and flirty. He tried to lay with me and ask what I was doing. He kept trying to act cute and when I wasn't showing much response to it, he got angry and stormed off, locking me out of the bedroom. The next morning, I woke up to him slamming around the kitchen and cussing about how I couldn't even properly clean the kitchen. I just went to the bedroom and went back to sleep, if you can call it that because he kept doing things to keep me awake. He complained later that day about how he was so hungry because I didn't make him breakfast or lunch. I gave myself a break day.

I didn't work, didn't focus on the house, I was just a mom and spent time with our baby. I went to the park, to the library, to my in-laws. I tried to talk to her about the hard thing, and she responded with poor husband's name, he's probably going to stress about this. That's when I realized I couldn't do this anymore. I got pizza for dinner and got home right after my husband. He was not happy and it was different this time. I tried to ignore his obvious tension, he cleaned the kitchen very loudly and was muttering

under his breath. I washed up our daughter and put her to bed, trying not to feel anxious. When I came out, he started talking very aggressively about how I've been letting myself get lazy and he won't take my lack of effort. A relationship is a two-way street, he said. I started yelling back about how I cook, clean, manage his child and work at the same time, so how is it that I'm the one that's lazy when he keeps expecting me to do more things too. Things escalated and he started throwing dishes at me. When he ran out of

things to throw, he strangled me. Then he left the house and I called the police. My baby was woken up, the neighbors were there because they heard yelling and glass breaking. It was chaos. When he came back, he tried to say I did everything. Even the bruises around my neck were self-inflicted apparently. I'm still trying to process everything. It all happened so fast. Sometime I wonder what would have happened if I had just sucked it up and didn't rebel. Would our relationship be fine? I have my first therapy session scheduled for next Tuesday, so I guess I'll talk all about it then. My husband is at his mom's now.

I met my grandmothers for now and have almost all my stuff out of our apartment. We have a temporary restraining order. Official hearing is tomorrow morning. I'm scared if I'm honest. I haven't seen him since that night. My daughter keeps asking me where Dad is and I don't know what to tell her. There's my update. I feel so numb to it all.

I can probably type much more that happened but it already feels so long. Plus, I don't want to cry again. Edit, I reread this all and I sound like a big whiny baby. Oh my goodness. I'm sorry. I promise I don't sound like this in person. I also wanted to add a thought. I don't know if I would have called the police and all if I hadn't posted

I honestly don't know. This is the most scariest thing he's done to me, but he's done plenty of other things before. When I originally posted, it was more of a vent post. All your caring, kind thoughts moved me. It gave me the little push I needed. I only have my little sister and my grandmother. I can't tell my grandmother any of these details because she's too frail and sensitive. My dad was an alcoholic and died while driving under the influence. My mom left us after that for a guy in Russia. I don't know how she's doing but she used to treat us very poorly so I don't really care. Point is, thank you all. The responses here are too kind and I don't even know what to say. Comments where Op has replied. Comment 1. Why didn't the police arrest him

when they saw the bruises on your neck and the broken dishes. I think the police should have arrested him on DV charges Oop. He did, but his mom got him out somehow two days later. I'm honestly surprised they even arrested him because they were being very rude to me aside from a woman officer. Comment two. They were rude about strangulation marks. That's awful. They should be looking at it not even just DV, that's basically attempted murder, or at least, felony assault, or whatever nation's equivalent. It would be under any other scenario. Boop. Where I live, the cops aren't known to be very reliable, unfortunately. Comment three. Okay, but did you go to the ER after being strangled? If not, you need to go ASAP, because strangulation can cause serious internal injuries and complications

that can KLLU days after the fact. Please get checked out right away and thoroughly document every injury. and please press charges against this man, he wanted to KLL you and he very well could have if he hadn't chickened out and run away at the last minute. Also, documenting the physical violence and pressing charges will help you get and keep sole custody of your daughter. This man cannot be trusted with your child after his unhinged display of brute violence. The odds of him harming or cailing her to get back at you are too great. Oop, yes I definitely did. That was enough proof for the temporary restraint. order in my state. Thankfully, one of the nurses was tearing up when she was taking my vitals

and helped calm me and my baby down. She gave me some good advice on how to proceed and I appreciate it every day. I'd been talking to a lawyer my grandma knows and I have some past proof of other incidents that should help me with my case too next story. Son got sick so I asked my mom to babysit but had no extra food to give her until shopping day. Then she insisted on taking him to her house which caused him to have a meltdown, so she screamed that she wishes she could lay around all day like him. My son was sick yesterday, and my mom offered to babysit for me since I couldn't miss work. For context, I, 30F, am a single mom because my husband passed away in an accident last year. We had two kids together, ages 12 and 8, and my eight years have severe ADHD and autism.

Being a newly single mom money has been really tight and I do get state assistance, but not a lot and my husband didn't have life insurance, so there was no money left to us from him. My mom and sister helped me, though, with babysitting if the kids are sick or if there is no school because I can't afford a sitter. The issues came when I told her I didn't have food to spare right now because I haven't been able to go shopping yet and to please bring her own food or be prepped to have to have to buy herself food because the food I have in the house is strictly for the kids till I can get to the store this weekend. We were all super sick last weekend and I don't live in a town with a grocery store and the closest one is a 30-minute drive.

She said it would be easier to take my son to her house than which I was okay with, but eight-year-old hates going to her house. When she comes to get him, he has a meltdown because he doesn't want to go to her house. I ask if she can just stay, and I can find a way to get more food before the weekend. She said no and insisted he had to come with her, and that made it worse. Now my mom has not had great patience, but her and my sister are the only sitter. I have right now because they don't charge me much, just the gas to get here. Well, she lost it and started yelling at me and him that she didn't have time for this and she had plans that day she

canceled just to watch him she didn't mention this to me when I asked. She also said, I quote, I wish we could trade lives and I could lay around and throw tantrums all day and you can go to work and just have everyone use you and take your money all the time. How much it must suck to be you and do whatever you want while I have to do nothing but take care of other people. I never borrow money from my mother but my sister and grandma live with her and they don't work so I know she is under a lot of stress and she takes it out on me a lot, calling me burden. Letting me know how much my tragic loss has affected her negatively. Calling me other names or yelling at me for things my sister or grandma do, I didn't yell

or argue. I simply covered his ears and looked at her and went, Mom, he is eight. She lost it and screamed, Fuck you then, miss work and lose money I don't care, I am leaving, and then she left. Now she says she will not babysit for me again so I can no true struggle, which if she follows through means I have to miss a bunch of work or find a sitter I can trust that won't break my bank. So I am wondering should I have cut her a break knowing she is under so much pressure and I understand she is frustrated and needs to get it off her chest but I feel like verbal punching bag and I don't want my kids to have to deal with that as well. Ida.

Comments where Op has replied, comment one. NTA, she is an adult. She's allowed to have her big feelings around other adults, but it's immature as hell and very damaging to take that out on an eight-year-old. For babysitting, do you have a church near you? They will probably try to convince you to join the church, that is unavoidably part of it, but they might have access to some kind of program to get temporary daycare access for single mothers. Oop, my youngest son can't go to the daycare here because of his behavioral issues and them not having a para or funds to hire a para comment too. Wait, but if he can't go to daycare, where is him when you're working?

Boop, school. He couldn't go to school because he was sick. My mom only babysit if my sister can't when they are sick or don't have school. Daycare and schools are not the same and have different funding and expectations. More on the daycare capabilities slash son's behavioral issues. He didn't have any major behavioral issues until his father passed away. He just needs a para at all times at school and daycare because he is a flight risk. He has a great para at school who he loves but we have two daycare. One is private and is only for members of one of the churches and the other is very small. We live in a town with less than 1,000 people in it so it doesn't have the funds or the capacity for my eight year to go there when doesn't have school.

Comment 3. NTA but your mom is. Info, is your late husband's family nearby? Can they watch the children from time to time? Have you looked if there are any organizations nearby that could help in cases like that? In my country there is a charity organization called Emergency Grannies who can help out at some days if the child is sick and the parent have to go to work, poop, my husband's family won't talk to me or see the kids after the accident. We weren't close before the accident either. But even if we were they all work full-time day shift jobs. I have reached out to the churches but they had no way to help me. Other than one runs a food pantry and close-closest once a month, but it's at the end of

each month. To another commenter, as previously stated, they won't talk to me or see the kids. I've reached out repeatedly and get no answers from any of them. I'm trying to be understanding as they lost their child and might need space right now. Comment four. How does your mother, sister, and grandmother all live there then that they're close enough to babysit? Boop, they live 20 minutes away. in a completely different town. They were picking him up and I was going to go after work to get him. Additional information. I would like to state because everyone thinks I have a free sitter I pay them $40 to father-in-law

their gas tank when they babysit and I usually ask my sister not my mom to babysit because of my mom having very little patients but my sister had a doctor's appointment that day. My son has serious sensory issues and doesn't like going to my mom's house because of her yelling all the time. She has always been a yeller even when I was killed. so I'm used to it, but it overstimulates him easy. He also doesn't like my mom's house because my grandma lives there and my grandma is a horrible woman who tried to cure his fear of the dark when he three by locking him a dark closet while

I was at the hospital with his brother who fell at school and broke his femur. She never was allowed to watch him again. My mom reassured me if he went that she would keep him away from my grandma. Oop also adds to all the comments about social security. I had no idea about any of that and will look at it. into it. My mother-in-law told me when he passed that they had life insurance for him, but it would all be used for the funeral. It was very sudden when he passed and it really has messed up the last year of our lives tremendously and I would like to say to anyone saying anything rude about my

eight-year-old, not only will I remind you all that he is just child's special needs or not, but he is child who just recently lost his father. I would ask that if you have anything ill-willed to say about a literal child you save it for someone else. Comment five, I'm struggling to understand why your mom lets your sister be a bum on her dime but then takes it out on you who is she shelling out $40 for gas every time she babysits. If she spreads so thin, itk why she would voluntarily miss out on that money from you. I'm assuming she doesn't have to use her whole tank to get to and from your play soup. Oh, that's very easy to answer as it's been told to me whole life. My mom didn't want me and hated my dad but kept me anyway. She was married and tried for my sister

so my sister is the favored child and always has been. Update, my mom is banned from my place of work, and I will no longer be speaking to her, my grandma, and will be limiting contact with my sister. I was sent home early due to my emotional state. They showed up before my lunch break and demanded to talk to me, and when my boss said no, my mom lost it and started screaming at her so loudly

I could hear down the hall from my classroom. She sent another staff member to get me to try to defuse the situation, but my mom only started screaming at me that I wasted her time and her gas because she was going to have to wait around all day for me. I told her I go to lunch at 12.15 p.m. every day and she showed at 10.30 a.m. while cocking me all sorts of names and cussing with every other word. I asked if we could go outside to talk and she said that she no longer wants to talk to me and that she just came because my sister asked to her I didn't know this. My sister made it seem like it was mom's idea on the phone.

One of my co-workers is going to be retiring a week before Thanksgiving and told me she will watch my kids during school breaks after she retires for the same price I paid my mom after everyone got see what my mother was like in person. She said she doesn't feel right having me keep her as a sitter after her behavior today and she understands how hard being a widow is. She lost her husband when her kids were 10 and 14, but I had no idea until today since she never shared much about her personal life. We ended up having to talk to the police on my mother because she was refusing to leave, and they came and escorted her off the property. After they left my sister called me to tell me my mom blocked me on everything and told her she no longer has two daughters just one and that my sister is forbidden from coming to see me or watching the kids while she lives with our mother.

Luckily, she will be moving in with her fiancé after he gets back from deployment. Thank you for all the advice I did apply online to social security but received an automated email response saying due to the federal shutdown the local office is closed, they will check my application as soon as someone returns to the office. Also, in case anyone wonders, my co-worker's new child care was a struggle for me but didn't have any advice to help me with child care because most of them don't have kids, PR their kids are already grown. But the lady who offered to help is one of my favorite co-workers and she has come over to help me make decorations for our classrooms at work so she knows my kids and they really seem to like her whenever she came by to work on work

things and I know she is fully certified and trained to care for a special needs child as everyone at my place of employment is. Thank you for all the advice and I appreciate all the kind of words. However, if you are reading this and think it's appropriate to message me to hit on me or lecture me about how I need to move on, it is not. Thank you. I hope you enjoy this story. Severed ties with my parents after they prioritized their new companions over me and my niece, but now my father is experiencing cardiac issues and I am unsure about what to do next. Forgive them before it's too late. This post will probably be long and I'll try not to ramble too much

and hope that this post is easy to follow. But I'm not sure how to handle the situation at hand so I need advice. For context, my parents are swingers. I found out about them being swingers right after I graduated high school in 2016. I've never really had an opinion on the matter until recently. I don't care what they do behind closed doors, but I personally don't want to see it in person. I'm sure that makes me sound like a bad person. But I've always accepted them for who they are.

It's honestly just really weird to see my parents make out with other people when they're around a group of people. Anyways, they are in a relationship with another couple and have been with them for almost two years. They, being the other couple, just recently moved in with my parents because they lost their house and couldn't find another place in time. My parents kicked my sister, her fiancé, and their baby out of the basement in order to give their friends the space and put my sister, her fiancé and baby upstairs in one bedroom to share, which is a small 12 by 12 room. The friends have also stated that they're another set of grandparents for my niece and call themselves

grandma, insert name, and Papa, insert name. My sister and her fiancé are not comfortable with this, but my parents and their friends don't seem to care because they are altogether as one. Now, on to the vacation. We were supposed to go on our first ever family vacation last year, October 2021, but it ended up getting pushed back to April of this year, due to costs, because of my wedding, which everyone was fine with. It then got pushed back again, because my sister's was in her third trimester of her pregnancy and couldn't fly. It is now scheduled for February of 2023. My parents told my sister and I, along with our soes, that they would be bringing their

friends along on the vacation. And I'm frustrated about it to be honest. With the way that they've been handling things with my sister and with all of their PDA, it's made me not want to go anymore. It's our first ever family vacation, like I've already mentioned, and I wanted it to be just family. I'm at a loss and I'm not sure how to handle the situation. And I slash we don't want to upset my parents about how I and everyone else, my husband, sister and Bill, feel.

Any advice? Edit 1. I'm married and do not live at home anymore. Although my sister, her fiancé, and baby do, they're currently looking for places. We live in a state where cost of living is super high, like a lot of places right now. And with them only having one income it's harder for them to find something. Hopefully that clears things up. Edit 2, I didn't expect this to get as much attention as it did. And I have read each comment and taken advice.

So thank you. I'm fully aware that my parents are adults and can do what they want. I never once said that they couldn't. And I never said I wasn't against their relationship with this other couple. They refer to themselves as swingers, but yes, you could say they are in a polyamorous relationship. The issue I have is how they shove it down everyone's throats. I don't care what they do in private, behind closed doors. But once I see the PDA and the other things they do to each other when other people are around,

that's where I get uncomfortable around the situation. They have a calendar on the fridge that says what nights they will swap beds and sleep with the other person. X, my mom and the other woman moved between my dad and the other guy. There are also times where they make sexual jokes about screwing each other, or randomly flash each other when we are around. Like, at least wait until people aren't there due so those things. That's the part I'm not okay with. Update 1, Hi everyone.

A few weeks ago, I made a pot about my parents inviting their friends on a family vacation and said I'd give an update after I talked to my parents. Well, I did, and it didn't go well. Also sorry the update took so long, I've been struggling with the outcome really badly and I needed time to write it all out. So, on to the update. I brought up all of my feelings to my parents

and they weren't very happy. They asked why I never brought it up, and I told them that it was because I was fine with everything, until I started seeing it, and that's when it made me uncomfortable. Now they think I don't accept them for who they are and they don't really see an issue with inviting their friends or doing other things with their friends in front of everyone else around. My mom basically said that what they do is none of my business or anyone else's and they can do what they want. Which is true, they're adults and can do what they want.

But some of the things they do should be in private settings and not for others to see. They also consider their girlfriend and boyfriend to be family, again which is fine, I know many people do, and since it's a family vacation, so they're still inviting them, regardless of how everyone feels about it. I just want to be with my parents for once without their friends being there, and having them be all over each other. They also see no issue with their friends calling themselves grandparents to my niece. I got upset and told them my husband and I would not be attending the vacation and they could take someone else. and until they understand where I'm coming from, I would not be going around. So for the time being, my parents are being cut off. I'm very sad about the outcome, and it makes me sad that they would choose their friends over their own child.

But to each their own, I guess. Thank you all for the comments. I read every single one of them, even if I didn't comment back, I still read them. There were some very nice supporting ones that really helped, and also some nice, not very nice ones that also helped. So thank you all. Comment one, I'm sorry about that. Did your siblings ever back you up? Oop, yes, my sister agrees with me. I'm not sure if she's planning on going or not, so if she doesn't, we might go on our own little vacation update too. I cut my parents out of my life and now my dad might be dying. I'd quote to do. Hi everyone.

I, 27F, just came here for advice maybe. I don't really know. I just needed a place to talk about this. There's a ton of backstory, so I'll try to explain it as much as I can, and hopefully it doesn't get too confusing. I also have another post regarding the subject from a couple of years ago, so maybe this is also kind of an update post. My parents are in an open-slash-polyamorous marriage. They started out as swingers when I was seven, and a few years ago they met another couple and decided to just be with them, which is fine. I am happy that they are happy, however, when the other couple, we will call them D&T, came into my parents' life, my parents changed, they became very toxic slash controlling and just all around not fun to be around.

They don't take anyone's feelings into consideration and force their other partners into our lives, which over the last couple years, I have decided, I don't want to be around D&T. On multiple occasions, they were all inappropriate in front of us, my sister slash her family and my husband and I, and it was just really uncomfortable in a lot of ways. They, my parents, kicked my sister and her family out of their basement apartment and moved them to a small bedroom upstairs in their house, so they could move their other partners into their house. My niece was also only two months at this time. From there, things have just gotten worse. D&T referred to themselves as my second parents and as grandparents to my son and my niece, which I have asked them not to do since I barely know them. My parents have chosen their

other partners over my sister slash her family and myself and my family many times. My sister had to move emergently last year and my sister asked my mom if she could watch my niece since it was raining slash snowing outside. And my mom said no because they were going to spend the night playing Mario Kart and didn't want distractions. When I told them I was pregnant, the very first thing my dad said to me was, can we tell D&T? And I said no. After my son was born, I went to my parents' house for a short 30-minute visit and as soon as I got there, my dad texted D to tell her I was there. So she and T came upstairs. My mom was holding my baby, eight weeks at the time, and when D&T came up, she handed my son to D without asking me.

I was so upset. I want to clarify I would have been upset if anyone just handed my baby to someone without asking me, I wasn't upset just because of the person. You should never hold a baby without permission from the parent. I had a very intimate religious ceremony, similar to a christening, where we only wanted family and our close friends. I invited my parents, and they asked if they could bring DNT and I said no because it was for family and close friends. So they decided not to come.

They decided not to come to a family event because I didn't want their other partners there, which they consider family and I do not, which I have clearly tried telling them over years of them being with D&T. Because this event was for my son, I decided they weren't going to pull any more stunts. They weren't going to choose them over me and my family anymore. So, I cut them out. I told them that I'm happy that they're happy and because I know they love them, I wasn't going to make them choose between us. I told them I wasn't done being hurt and I needed time away from them. I haven't seen or spoken to my parents since April of 2024.

I have tried telling my parents about my boundaries many times, but they don't listen and they just want us all to be one big happy family. which my sister and I and our partners don't want. We both just want to be around our parents. Anyways, I got a text from my mom yesterday, saying my dad was just diagnosed with heart failure. And I have so many emotions. I'm angry, and I am also sad. My heart hurts.

I don't know what to do. Part of me is once a better relationship with my parents, as long as my boundaries are followed, but another part of me has never been happier slash felt more at peace these last nine months. I just don't want to have my dad pass and regret not letting him have a relationship with myself or my son. I just hate getting hurt by my parents all the time. I am in therapy and have been working through everything for a while, but it's still so hard. Any advice is appreciated and I will try to answer any questions anyone has. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I'm sorry if it's confusing.

Edit, I want to say, my parents have been with other couples that I have loved. It wasn't until D&T that I had an issue, and it's because of the actions that they have done that have pushed me away. I am happy that my parents are happy, but I shouldn't have to put myself in an uncomfortable position to make other people happy. So I ultimately decided to keep distance in order to make my mental health better. Comment 1, this is something you need to decide. They are only reaching out because of his condition, not because they want to be better parents. They already chose D&T over your son. Your son doesn't need to see them.

You can go alone and see what is really going on. They want to guilt you into forgiving them. They haven't tried to apologize. Oop, that's how I feel. I feel like they're pressuring me to see them when I'm not ready. My mom texted me a couple months back saying how, long are you going to stay away from us? Are we still toxic? And I feel like they're blaming me for not seeing them when I voiced my boundaries countless times and they chose to ignore them.

I know it's not on me, but they're making me feel like shit because I want to protect myself and my son from being hurt. Upp gives examples of how they were inappropriate over the years. Examples of being inappropriate include them flashing each other in front of us, my dad pulling down his pants and mooning the front door when I walked in because he thought it was his girlfriend and other inappropriate actions that shouldn't be done in front of other people especially your children and their spouses. He would put his hand on my back and I would ask not to be touched. I get very uncomfortable because of some essay from my childhood, so I don't like being touched by many people. But yet, he would do it every time I saw them. I have tried many times to voice my boundaries and they have not been respected.

If these inappropriate behaviors stopped, I wouldn't mind seeing them along with my parents, but I shouldn't have to if I'm uncomfortable. The boundaries I have voiced, I don't want them calling themselves my second parents or grandparents to my child. I don't want to see all of their inappropriate PDA, I'm fine with a kiss, but the inappropriate stuff can wait until people aren't visiting. I don't consider them family, just as my parents don't consider any of my friend's family. Comment 2. You'll never have the relationship you want with your parents as it's clear they are selfish and will always include their partners. Don't feel guilty, they have never put you first. Oh, O-op, thank you. I needed to hear don't feel guilty. This whole situation has taken a toll on me for years. I just learned I need to do what's best for me and my little family. Next story, Black wife and I had a son who looked too dark to be mine,

so I secretly got a paternity test that proved he was mine, but when I told her about it, she called me racist and we got divorced. I'm a 29-year-old white guy. My wife is 30 and black. We have two kids, a three-year-old girl and a five-year-old boy. My wife got pregnant with our son early in our relationship. We had only been together a year. We got married because she got pregnant.

Fortunately for us, we are actually happy. When my son was born, I accepted him as mine. However, I couldn't help noticing how little he looked like me. He is noticeably darker than my wife. He doesn't look half white. My family and friends have asked if I'm sure he's mine. I had doubts, but I initially decided to trust my wife. I loved my son regardless.

When our son was two, my wife had our daughter. I had no doubt she's mine. She looks just like me, she even has my blue eyes. I never realized how powerful it is to know a child is yours. I bonded with her easier because there wasn't the question of paternity dangling over our heads. My family bonded with her faster too. Her resemblance to me convinced me that my son is not mine. I tried to always treat them equally as I see them both as my children.

But I realized I was beginning to resent my son. It felt unfair that I had to care for someone else's child. I also began to resent my wife because I felt she had betrayed me. I finally got a paternity test in secret. I was relieved to learn that my son is in fact mine. Genetics are weird. Anyways, that was four months ago and my relationship with my wife and son improved dramatically. I feel much closer to him now that I know he's mine.

My wife and I have been so happy that we were talking about a third child. I confess to my wife I got a paternity test. I hated keeping this secret and I thought she would understand given how much she doesn't look like me. She flipped out. She asked me if I ever doubted our daughter, and when I said no, she called me racist. It's not true. I didn't prefer my daughter because of her whiter features, I just knew she was mine. She also said that I made our son feel unloved for no reason for all those years.

I said that's bull. Even when I didn't believe my son was mine, I treated him as though he were. My wife says she wants to move out and take our children after the quarantine. It's been about a week and a half and I'm still on the sofa. I hope she would have calmed down by now but things haven't changed. She's just so furious with me for not trusting her and for in her eyes. Denying my son because he's dark. She barely talks to me unless it's about the kids.

I don't want to lose my family. Is it so awful that I had doubts? I still took care of him. I don't understand why something like this is wrecking my marriage. I think she is overreacting. So, Ida. Update 1. After being ripped to shreds on my first post I didn't plan to ever log into this account again.

Some recent events have persuaded me to update you all on what's been going on. I'll just get right to it. My wife and I are separated currently. I moved out so she and the kids could stay in our home. I'm staying with my parents for now. I don't get to see my kids as often as I would like to. When I have a more stable living situation will have joint custody of them. It's been very hard on me and the kids.

I talk to them on the phone every night, and they both keep asking when I'm coming home. It breaks my heart that I can't answer that question. My daughter is taking it the worst. I feel awful that her world have been turned upside down by her own parents. I miss my family. I miss seeing my kids every day. I miss my wife.

Our relationship has been put in limbo for now. She says she needs space to process and doesn't know if she will be able to forgive me. I've apologized in every way that I know how to. At this point I just have to give her the space she wants and hope she calms down. It would be horrible for us to throw away if separating has been this hard in the kids, divorce is going to shatter them. She seems open to seeking couples counseling. It gives me some hope we can work past this.

As for Reddit, I admit I didn't want to hold myself accountable before. I couldn't see how my actions were subconsciously harmful to my son. It was never my intention to be racist, but I did treat my son differently due to his skin color when you strip it down to its roots. I realized how bad I fucked up when I felt ashamed thinking my wife has probably told her family why we separated. They used to think really highly of me. Now they all probably think I'm a racist. I have no one to blame for that but myself. With all the craziness going on in the world I know that I need to be more aware of my actions.

My kids deserve to have their family to be safe haven from racism. It scares me thinking about the type of world I will send them out into where they could be racially profiled in most places. I can't imagine if it were my son on the news instead of one of those other poor guys. I'll never let anything get in the way of my relationship with him again. Thanks all. Update 2 It's been over a year and a half since I used this account. I stopped replying to PMS a long time ago because to put it bluntly I felt like shit when I was reminded of what caused me to make this account in the first place even though most of the PMS I got weren't bad.

I was shocked but flattered to see dozens of messages still coming in as recently as a few months ago. I want to give an update on my life for those people. I'm single. My ex-wife and I had our divorce finalized early in 2022. We had gotten back together for almost a year after I told her about the paternity test. I made promises to be a better husband and I believe that I kept those promises even though it didn't work. Unfortunately things were not the same despite both of our best efforts, including months of counseling, couples counseling and private counseling for her.

The fact of the matter is she could never forgive me enough to trust me so it was never going to work. Towards the end she didn't even want to be intimate with me in any way so much that I slept most nights on the couch or in my kids' rooms. We became roommates. I would have kept trying to fix things forever, but she was willing to face the fact that it was over way before I could. I still have a lot of love for her and I think I will forever. I'm not ashamed to say I haven't gotten over how devastating it was even though it's my fault. I developed depression badly which I know some people would say I deserve. I even had to quit my old job due to it. I still miss her and even more I miss what we had

together. I dread the day that I will hear that she is in a relationship with someone else because I know it will come Sunday. I have an apartment to myself now. It took a while for me to get on my feet. My kids, now 8M, almost 6F, spend every other weekend with me and I get them 50 to 50 when there are breaks from school. My son is very athletic and is very good at soccer. As he has gotten older, I have seen more of myself in him than I did in his youth. He hasn't heard about the paternity test and I hope he never will. He's a great kid.

I work hard to make up for the time lost when I was anxious to get too close to him. My daughter is still my mini-mee. She loves me almost as much as I love her. She's athletic too loves gymnastics and in soccer. I think a lot about how if I hadn't needed a paternity test they might have another sibling. Not a good thing to dwell on. My life went in a direction I didn't expect. It's not perfect, but it's getting better every day. I have a lot to be grateful for and I remind myself of that when it is hard. My kids are all that matters. Thanks for caring. I hope you enjoy this story.

Father criticized me for destroying his relationship before I existed, so he declined to escort me down the aisle because he preferred to be with his biological child. During the wedding. My mom and dad had my sister, Emily, when they were quite young, which meant she pretty much grew up alongside them in a way. For the longest time, it was just the three of them almost like a little team. Since both of my parents have always been highly career-driven, they instilled that same ambition in Emily from an early age. The three of them seemed to share a sort of mutual focus on

success, always striving for more in their careers and making the most of life. But with that kind of focus comes its own set of challenges, and things weren't always as smooth as they might have seemed on the outside. Before I came into the picture, things started to get tough between my parents. Both of them were so absorbed in their work that it began to take a toll on their relationship. My dad, for some reason, started to suspect that my mom might have been having an affair. At the time, they had stopped going on date nights or spending quality time together. So, I guess my dad's insecurities just got the better of him when, in reality, my mom wasn't seeing anyone else.

She was just swamped with work, balancing her demanding job with the responsibility of taking care of Emily and managing the household. The weight of all that must have been exhausting for her. It's no surprise that things between them became strained under all that pressure. One day, my mom collapsed, out of nowhere, in her office. People assumed it might have been due to extreme work stress, however, when she was rushed to the hospital, the doctors discovered that she was three months pregnant with me. The craziest part?

She hadn't even noticed. Between the intense demands of her job, managing the household, and taking care of Emily, it seems the signs of her pregnancy just slipped under the radar. But the real storm came when my dad heard the news. His initial reaction wasn't excitement or surprise, it was disbelief and not the good kind. He outright refused to believe that the baby my mom was carrying was his. This accusation hit my mom hard. She was unfairly being accused of something as hurtful as infidelity.

They argued bitterly, my mom defending herself, insisting she had never been unfaithful, but it seemed like my dad was too caught up in his own suspicions to listen. Emily, who was old enough to witness everything, has told me that my dad even moved out that same night. He told my mom that he wasn't going to return home until she could prove that I was his child. Well, when the DNA results finally came back, confirming that I was indeed my dad's child, he was dumbstruck. My paternal grandparents were furious with him after that. They tore into him for being such a terrible husband, for doubting my mom, who had done nothing but remained loyal and carried the weight of their family on her shoulders. They stood by my mom's side,

calling out their son for his lack of trust and faith in her. After facing the wrath of his own parents and realizing how deeply he had hurt my mom, my dad was left with no choice but to beg my mom for her forgiveness. He eventually moved back in for the sake of us, but things were never quite the same between them. From that point on, my mom made it clear to him that the dynamic in their marriage was going to change. She had always been the one to go above and beyond, taking on more than her fair share of responsibilities both at work and at home. But after everything that happened, she had realized just how precious her life was. She wasn't willing to continue carrying that burden alone. She told my dad, in no uncertain terms, that he had to step up around the house. If he

didn't, she was prepared to walk away. It wasn't just a warning, it was a shift in power in their relationship. My dad, who had no choice but to acknowledge his mistakes, had to give into all her demands. From that point on, things were different. They may have reconciled, but the trust between them had been fractured, and my mom was no longer willing to go the extra mile to hold everything together alone. For this very reason, my dad has always seemed to carry this belief that I was somehow the cause of this fracture in their marriage. He believes that it was because of me that their marriage was never the same. I know it sounds almost unbelievable childish even, but that's exactly the way he operates. In his mind, it's as if my existence

triggered the unraveling of their relationship like I was the reason he suspected my mom in the first place and the reason their marriage completely changed afterward. Ever since I was born, he's held this bizarre grudge against me and has always sort of ostracized me from his life. It's hard to explain, but my dad is incredibly manipulative in this way. In front of others, he puts on this act he's kind, pleasant, and even affectionate towards me when other people are around. But the moment it's just the two of us or even just Mom or Emily, his attitude towards me changes completely.

He treats me with such coldness as if I shouldn't even exist. It's like flipping a switch. I have always felt his dislike towards me ever since I was a child. Even my sister, Emily, remembers how distant and neglectful he was when I was born. She's told me stories of how sometimes whenever I would cry, my dad would just let me be, not making any effort to comfort me, hold me, or even acknowledge that I was upset. He would leave all of that to my mom, Emily, or the babysitter anyone but him. It was like he had decided from the start that I wasn't his responsibility, that I was an unnecessary

addition to their lives. He has always made me feel like a burden like I didn't belong, and that feeling has stuck with me for as long as I can remember. The only time he ever seemed to take any notice of me was when I excelled at something, particularly in school. In high school, I became this ardent people-pleaser, desperately seeking my dad's approval and the only way I knew how through my achievements. I worked incredibly hard just to get good grades because I knew that was the only thing that would make him acknowledge me. It was like his attention came with a price tag. I had to perform, I had to be exceptional, or else I was invisible to him. It wasn't about love or connection.

It was transactional, and I spent so many years chasing that approval, hoping it would be enough to make him see me. But deep down, I always knew that no matter how well I did, I could never change the way he saw me. As I grew older and went off to college, I slowly started realizing that no matter how hard I worked or how how well I performed academically, I would always fall short in comparison to Emily and my dad's eyes. It didn't matter how many good grades I brought home or how much effort I put into trying to please him I was always a distant second to my sister. However, I have never resented my sister over this. Emily and I have always had a great relationship, and I'm so grateful for her. Because of the big age difference between us, she's always treated me almost like her own child.

She's incredibly loving, nurturing, and protective of me. Emily has always tried to make sure I felt included, loved, and valued. Although I don't blame her for any of my dad's behavior towards me, deep down, I do sometimes feel a tiny bit jealous that she gets to have a good relationship with our dad in a way that I never can. Emily and my dad have this close bond, their own special connection that I've always been on the outside of. I think part of me has always yearned for that same kind of relationship.

relationship with him. But no matter how much my mom pushed my dad to include me, he never really did. He always made me feel like an outsider like I didn't belong in that part of their world. My mom tried so hard to get him to make an effort, but it always seemed like his heart just wasn't in it when it came to me. That hurt more than I can even put into words. Hence, after I graduated from college, I realized I had spent so much of my life running after my dad's attention, desperately seeking the approval that never came, and it was draining. I was exhausted from always feeling like I wasn't enough like I was chasing something I could never reach. So, I made the decision to stop. I stopped running after my dad, stopped trying to make him see me, and instead turned inward.

I started going to therapy, where I could finally confront all the pain and frustration I had carried for so long. Therapy helped me work through my feelings of abandonment and exclusion, and it allowed me to begin healing. As I focused more on myself, I started putting my energy into things that truly mattered my personal growth and my career. I poured myself into my work for years. It wasn't easy, and it took time, but I have eventually reached a point where I no longer need my dad's validation as I did before.

I have found peace in accepting that I may never have the relationship I always wanted with him. Three years ago, John came into my life, and everything changed for the better. He's charming and tall, and from the moment we met, we just clicked. It didn't take long for us to fall in love, and being with him has made me a stronger and better woman. John has been my rock, always supporting me and encouraging me to grow. What I love most about him is that he knows everything about my family history, all the ups and downs, especially the complicated relationship I have with my dad, and doesn't judge me. In fact, he strongly dislikes my dad, and honestly, I don't blame him.

Whenever John has had to meet my dad during family events, like lunches or gatherings, he usually ignores him, just like my dad has ignored me for most of my life. I think that's his subtle way of standing up for me. If they ever do talk, it's very surface level, with John giving polite but brief one-word answers. My dad has never said anything to me about John's behavior, probably because he doesn't want to acknowledge that John is simply treating him the way he's treated me all these years. A few months ago, John proposed to me, and of course, I said yes.

Since then, we've been in full wedding planning mode, excited about this new chapter of our lives together. Both John and I have great jobs, and we've always been on the same page about remaining child-free, so that's given us the financial freedom to plan the wedding of our dreams without worrying about future expenses. We've been able to set aside a lot of money to make this day a huge celebration, inviting all our family and friends, even those who live far away, to come and be a part of it. We're both really looking forward to having one day where we can celebrate our love and everything we've built together, surrounded by the people who mean the most to us. It feels like the perfect start to the rest of our lives. During the wedding planning,

my mom kept insisting that I should ask my dad to walk me down the aisle, which was something I had thought about briefly but had never really felt comfortable with. Given the complicated relationship I've always had with my dad, I just didn't want him to have that role on my special day. It didn't feel right, and the idea of him walking me down the aisle didn't hold the sentimental value it might have for others. Instead, I wanted my uncle my mom's brother to be the one to walk me down the aisle. My uncle is one of my absolute favorite people in the world, right after my mom and Emily. He's always been such a fun, supportive presence in my life, and I've always felt a special connection with him. He's been there for me in ways that my dad never was, and the idea of having

him by my side on such an important day just made sense to me. It felt natural and fitting for him to be the one to walk me into this new chapter of my life. However, when I told my mom that I wanted to ask my uncle to do the honors, she didn't take it well. She went on a bit of a rant, telling me that it would be insensitive to ask my uncle when my dad was still alive. She was worried about how it would look to the rest of the family, saying that everyone would find it weird and questionable if I chose anyone but my dad for such a traditional role. I understood where she was coming from to an extent after all. The father walking the bride down the aisle is a long-standing tradition, and to the outside world, it might seem odd or even disrespectful to go against that. But for me, it wasn't

about tradition or appearances, it was about choosing someone who had truly been there for me, someone who I felt connected to in a way I never did with my dad. I felt torn between honoring what my mom, and probably a lot of the extended family, expected and staying true to what I wanted for my own wedding day. However, when my mom kept insisting, I reluctantly gave into my mom's wishes and agreed to ask my dad to walk me down the aisle, even though it wasn't what I truly wanted. I knew it was important to her, and part of me just wanted to avoid any further conflict or drama leading up to the wedding. But when I finally did ask my dad, his reaction was far worse than I had anticipated. Instead of being touched or even considering the gesture,

he acted like I'd asked him something deeply offensive. He straight up told me that he hadn't even considered walking me down the aisle because, in his own words, he didn't really see me as his real daughter. Hearing those words, while hurtful, wasn't exactly shocking because I'd heard him say similar things before. I've grown almost numb to his coldness over the years. I just sighed and tried to push forward with the conversation, explaining how mom felt and how much it would mean to her. I thought maybe if I framed it that way how it wasn't even about him or me, but about what mom wanted he might soften or at least agree for the sake of family harmony. But my dad just shrugged, completely indifferent, and went on to argue that the only daughter he

ever wanted to walk down the aisle was Emily. For context, Emily has been very clear with everyone that she plans on remaining single for life. She's refused the idea of marriage entirely, which has apparently been a headache for my parents for a long time, though that's a whole other story. Regardless of her decision to stay single, the fact that my dad could so bluntly say that he only considered Emily as his daughter for something as symbolic as walking down the aisle really cut deep. He continued by casually suggesting that in his opinion, I didn't really need anyone to walk me down the aisle as it was all just nonsense tradition. It was his way of dismissing the entire thing. His words only confirmed what I've known all along that I was never going to get the

father-daughter moment even during my wedding. I didn't. argue much after that. There didn't seem to be a point. I just left the conversation feeling defeated, but not surprised. It was like another reminder of the emotional distance that has always been there between us. After going back home and giving it some thought, I decided to follow my heart and ask my uncle to walk me down the aisle. When I approached him with a request, he was absolutely thrilled. He said yes immediately, excited and honored to be a part of such an important moment in my life. His genuine happiness made me feel so reassured about my decision. And I knew it was the right choice. I also spoke to both Emily and my mom about my conversation

with my dad and how he had refused to walk me down the aisle. They were both disappointed in him, though not entirely surprised given his behavior over the years. Emily, especially, was frustrated because she's always been more aware of how poorly my dad has treated me when compared to her. Both of them agreed that if my dad didn't want to be there for me in that way, then asking my uncle was a great idea. Their support meant a lot to me, and it made the whole situation easier to handle. On the day of the wedding, my uncle proudly walked me down the aisle. It was such a beautiful ceremony, and I couldn't have asked for a better person to be by my side.

The love and joy in that moment felt overwhelming, and when John and I read our vows, there wasn't a single dry eye in the room. Everyone was so moved by the emotion and sincerity of our words. It was one of those rare moments where everything felt perfect, like the culmination of all the love and effort we had put into our relationship. My dad attended the wedding, but true to form, he barely interacted with John or me. He didn't come up to congratulate us, and during the family photo sessions, he kept his distance, almost as if we weren't even there.

I tried not to let this ruin my day, focusing instead on the people who genuinely cared about me and were happy to celebrate with us. However, it seems that other guests seem to have taken note about my dad's strange behavior towards me because, after the wedding, word has gotten around about how he refused to walk me down the aisle. I am not sure whether it was Emily, my mom, or my uncle who told people but whoever it was, they definitely made sure everyone knew the truth. Since then, my dad has been getting an earful from various family members and guests.

Apparently, they've been openly criticizing him, calling him out for being a deadbeat father and sarcastically congratulating him for being a horrible father figure. I heard about all of this from my mom when she called to share a laugh about what my dad is currently experiencing. I have to say that it's interesting to see how my dad is finally being held accountable by so many people in the family. I thought eventually this would pass, however, last week, my dad started to leave me voicemails, asking me if I could clarify to everyone how he was always there for me the best that he could

since he has been getting a lot of hate. He wanted me to start telling people that it was me who didn't ask him to walk me down the aisle. Obviously, I refused to do this since this was completely untrue. I was also not going to lie for him or try to fix his image. After a few attempts to convince me, he seemed to give up, so I thought maybe he had accepted the situation and moved on. Again, today, he reached out to me, and this time he demanded that I clear his name because he was now losing relationships with people because of what had been going around since my wedding. He went on to say how this fallout with family members would ultimately affect Emily's future wedding. He told me that he was starting to get worried that with how things were

going for him if Emily ever got married, she might not even ask him to walk her down the aisle, my tantrum to not clarify things was ruining everything for him. I was extremely pissed off when I heard this. I mean, my dad hasn't even once apologized to me or acknowledged what he had done to me was wrong. Instead, he was only worried about himself and his relationship with his darling daughter, Emily. He seemed concerned about what she might do or might not do in the hypothetical future. I firmly told him that I wasn't going to give him what he wanted. I reminded him that since he never saw me as his daughter, as he had made painfully clear to me several times, he had no right to make these demands or even contact me further about it.

I firmly told him that I wasn't going to clear his name, and that he needed to deal with this issue on his own. After all, his wrongful actions led to the way everyone now views him, and I wasn't going to clean up a mess that he created. Since the afternoon, he's been bombarding me with messages, trying to guilt-trip me, saying things like how unfair it is that everyone in the family now sees him in a negative light, and how I am making his life difficult for no reason. He's acting as if he's the victim in this whole situation, completely ignoring the years of emotional neglect and hurt he's caused me. It's frustrating. Ida. Update 1. Thank you to everyone for your kind words. As many of you have rightfully pointed out, for my dad, it's all about

appearances, and the fact that his actions might now have consequences for his image. He has never cared about me and he never will. Honestly, this situation has only solidified my decision to distance myself from him permanently. For everyone asking why I didn't do this earlier, it's because he wasn't really an important part of my life, and I had pretty much gotten used to not caring much about him. It was only because my mom wanted me to ask my dad to walk me down the aisle that this whole wound reopened. I thought maybe it would be a chance for reconciliation, but clearly it was a mistake. Update 2. My husband had a talk with my dad today and has asked him to back off.

John made it clear to my dad that he agreed with everyone in the family calling him a deadbeat because that is exactly who he is. My husband believes that my dad is a useless figure in my life who has never really contributed anything good. John pointed out to my dad how despite his resentment toward me I had achieved everything in my life and now that I was married, he was not going to allow anyone to talk to his wife that way. John firmly told my dad that if he had any further issues with me, he should reach out to him instead of bothering me.

Since then, my dad has been too afraid to send me any more texts. Update 3. To everyone who's been asking why my mom and Emily let things slide regarding my dad's treatment of me, I want to clarify that they have always taken my side. Ultimately, while they never let things slide with him, they also can't fully control my dad's behavior towards me either. Now, coming on to the actual update, I decided to have a conversation with my mom about everything and tell her exactly how I've always felt about my dad. I explained in detail to her how difficult it had been for me growing up with a father who resented me so much, and though I had tried to brush it off for years, now that I was a

grown woman and married, I was sick of dad still treating me like trash. I told my mom how he had blamed me since my birth for something that was beyond my control and ultimately, it felt like I had grown up without a father figure all my life. Hearing this, she teared up and begged for my forgiveness. She apologized for not protecting me more and admitted that she should have stood up for me better. I also told my mom that although dad had stopped texting me for now, there was no guarantee he wouldn't start pestering me again, so she needed to speak to him and ask him to back off as his words were starting to affect my mental health.

In the end, my mom gave me a big hug and assured me that she was, would address the issue with him immediately. It turns out that she, along with Emily, my uncle, and even my paternal grandparents, staged an intervention for my dad. From what I have gathered, they all confronted him about how he's been mistreating me for no valid reason. They made it clear that he was entirely in the wrong for blaming me all these years when he should have blamed himself for being foolish enough to doubt his loyal wife. While I don't know the exact details of what was said during that intervention, it must have been pretty serious because, my dad's attitude shifted afterward. Following that intervention, my dad reached out to me again,

but this time with a half-hearted apology. I am sure he was forced to do this. He acknowledged his wrongs but didn't exactly take full accountability for them. He admitted that, as much as he can't help but dislike me, he's going to keep those feelings to himself moving forward and stop bothering me with it. He then went on to apologize for refusing to walk me down the aisle and promised that he would never ask me again to clear his name with the rest of the family. I decided to take this opportunity to set a firm boundary with him once and for all. I told my dad that for the sake of my mental peace, would be cutting him off. I wasn't willing to engage with someone who had hurt me so deeply and repeatedly. He accepted my decision without much

pushback. Update 4. It's been seven months since I cut my dad out of my life. Although I still see my family, I make sure to avoid any events where my dad will be present, and luckily, he does the same. It turns out that four months ago, Emily also cut off her relationship with her dad. She moved to a new city and then blocked him from everywhere. Emily told me that she had always felt bad and guilty over how he had always treated her better than me and had been considering cutting him off for a while. The move seemed to give her the fresh start she needed to break free from him. My mom mentioned how upsetting this was for my dad when he found out that Emily did not want to have

a relationship with him any further, but there's nothing he can do about it now. I have to say these days I feel much lighter and happier. For years, I had carried the burden of trying to earn my dad's approval, of trying to understand why I was never good enough in his eyes. But severing ties with him has been the healthiest decision for me, and it's something I wish I had done sooner. Currently, I have been fully focused on my life, my marriage, and the people who truly love and support me. I hope you enjoy this story.

Close companion continued to make physical contact and show romantic interest in my partner. I decided to address the situation with her, only to discover that she was dishonest about it. Eventually, I learned that they had been engaging in a clandestine romantic relationship for an extended period. All our friends knew. Hey everyone. My 24F, best friend, 24F, is too handsy with my boyfriend, 26M, and I think it's inappropriate I know I should be careful calling someone best friend in a post like this, but I don't know how else to call Jesse. Our parents are great friends so we grew up together and she kind of had my back in high school. Long story short, on the teenager food chain, she was on top and I should

be on the bottom. But nobody messed with me because I was Jesse's friend. Jesse is one of those people who require attention. I never minded though, nobody is perfect right? But now that I have my first real boyfriend, she doesn't know how to behave. Every time we are together she is really handsy. Always touching his arms, running fingers through his hair, complimenting him. And now she even started with the prank spankings on the butt, you know? I just feel really uncomfortable with it.

Maybe it's normal, I mean, Jesse has a lot of guys. friends, so maybe this is okay? My B.F. never thought much of it either. Am I just overreacting? She is super pretty so maybe I'm just jealous? Anyway, yesterday something really threw me off. B.F. had to do some work and I had a book thing, hobby, so we decided to meet later at a friend's house. They were getting together to drink and so on. B.F. finishes work early and calls me, but I don't really need him to come over to the book thing. I know he doesn't. like it, so I just tell him to go to friend's house. Then I start getting texts from Jesse all like girl, you gotta come to this party now, your BF is wasted. L.O. L.L. L.O.L. L.L. We so drunk,

you need to come and stop us. I can't behave myself if you don't get here soon. And so on. The book thing took longer than I thought and I was just getting mad and matter. But I am a very non-confrontational person, so I deal with it. I call BF when it's over because I don't feel like going to this party anymore but I was his ride, so I ask him if needs me to come pick him up. He says, sure, I get there and don't even go inside. I am ready to release the hounds of hell on him. But he gets in my car and he is stone cold sober. I ask him if he was drinking and then show him Jesse's texts. He gets super upset and says she was lying, he wasn't even hanging directly with her, but catching up with a friend who just came back to town. He says I should have texted him

letting him know what she was saying so he could confront her about it since you don't ever seem to be able to give that girl some boundaries as words. Now I'm thinking maybe I should talk to Jesse. But maybe she was just drunk and annoying me because she wanted me there? I don't know, I mean, this girl was really nice to me growing up when she could have been a bitch. I don't like how she behaves around him but at the same time I don't want it to look like I don't trust her. Is there a polite way of going about it? Or I should maybe wait and see if this happens again?

Am I overreacting? Update 1 Yesterday I posted here about how my best friend Jesse is a bit handsy with my boyfriend and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am very thankful to all those who commented, especially the ones who encouraged me to say something and what. I don't like arguments, so those were very important to me, thank you. Last night we were alone because she wanted me to help her choose clothes for an event. I was at her place so I thought I should say something. I wanted to say something.

I was very polite and just said that I knew she meant no harm but I didn't feel good about it. So I asked her if she could tone it down, should have said stop but I guess I'm weak. She didn't really say anything mean, but her attitude was a bit off, I think. She was looking at me in a scornful kind of way, and the way she smiled once I was done talking. It just felt weird. She didn't say anything else but okay and we just moved on to choosing her clothes and I left after. We were supposed to go get something to eat, but she said she was tired. I am not dumb, she was hurt. So I texted a common friend, more her friend than mine, and, without getting into

details, I just told him that I talked to Jess about something that was important to me but that I was afraid she may have gotten the wrong idea from it. The common friend said, look, I don't want to get involved, but you should watch it. I asked what he meant, he said nothing, just watch it. A little while after that he texts me back and says changed my mind. I do want to get involved and sends me a bunch of prints of texts going back and forth between him and Jesse. It basically starts with him asking her if the two of us had a fight, because I was worried, he was kind with his words, I don't mind him stepping in, and then just a nonstop stream of her being horrible. She says I had a big mouth and was judging her behavior because I'm a prude who doesn't know

how to be around guys. How she taught me everything I know about having a life and how dare I tell her what she can or cannot do, or how I should thank her for even having a boyfriend at all. Common friend actually called her out for being rude and no friend of mine. After the prince he told me I'm done with her, I give up, and you should watch it. He also said it was okay if I told her I had the prince. I didn't though. Didn't know what to say. I mean she is not 100% wrong. But even though I know that, it really hurts to read those. This morning I wake up and see she texted me late at night. She says she knows Pete sent me the Prince and she didn't mean to be rude, but it's ridiculous

that I am jealous of her because if she wanted my BF she could just have him, you want me to prove it? So I'm being silly and should drop it, is what she meant. She ends it with kisses and a joke. So I don't know if she was being playful, apologizing, threatening or being pragmatical. I didn't answer her yet. I don't know what to say. Should I even say something?

Or should I just let it go? I wish I could talk to someone about this, but I am very private. I usually go to Jesse with these things. Help? Comments where Op has replied. Commenter Sounds like this person is completely wrapped up in their own head and have a serious case of overthinking their importance in life,

especially others' lives. Obviously we're all going to tell you to drop her because she's not a desirable person to be around if that's how she acts slash talks to you in person and behind your back. This person thinks they own you enough so that they're decided to let you have your BF. Fuck that shit.

Also show your guy everything that's happened because guaranteed she's going to go after him. Oop, I suppose you are all right. It just gets me, you know? It's a 20 years long friendship. I keep thinking maybe this is a misunderstanding. She didn't mean it or she didn't mean it or she is going through a hard time and doesn't know how to deal with it.

I am just trying to make sure I am not overreacting, so I needed some outside perspective. As for my BF, I think he would turn her down quite fast. He doesn't really like her. He just hangs with her because of me, he's always saying that he'd rather not in all. So it's unlikely that they'd be alone together. But I will talk to him.

Thank you for the heads up. Turns out she already went after him I was stupid, update too. My boyfriend is having sex with her. A friend convinced some other friends to send me prints of texts between themselves and either my BF or best friend. They are pretty clear. I confronted my BF, he looked lost, said he loves me and it was just sex. He says Jesse kept throwing herself at him, teasing him, and he said he didn't like her but I still wanted to hang. He said he just had sex with her to see if she would move on and leave him alone, and that it only happened a couple of times. Says he won't do it anymore, he doesn't even like her, he loves me,

asking me to please forgive him. From the texts, once I finally made it through them all, I think that Jesse went to the party, where me and B.F. met, because she wanted to hook up with him. She had it bad for him, but he didn't feel the same way. She was trying to get him to break up with me, and then to get me to break up with him. It worked. As of yesterday, he is a single man. In some of those texts, they are talking about some of the hookups. I feel like throwing up. I blocked him, because he was still trying to get in touch. I ghosted her.

But she just sent me a message saying she just heard what happened and you know this was probably for the best right? And I feel like fucking screaming. I don't know if this is an update or just me venting. Thanks for listening either way. Edit. I don't want to sound melodramatic or sappy or anything. but you all brought me to tears.

We keep hearing about how it is insanity to rely on the internet for personal connections, but I just lost a boyfriend, a best friend, and a whole group of friends. And instead of feeling alone, I am more and more feeling like fuck yeah that was the right thing to do, I will be okay. It still hurts. But not as much as it would had I really been alone. I can't even begin to thank this sub. I really don't know what to say.

Even on my previous posts that didn't get as many responses, it was some of the comments there that made me approach the cheating thing knowing I had to break up and move on. So it changed my life in this moment. And considering I will be doing a lot of soul searching on toxic relationships, this probably changed my life for good. So thank you all so much for reaching out to a stranger. This community is so precious. And I got a gold, I don't even know what to say.

Thank you so much. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I don't even know how much a gold costs, and this is an alt-account, so it won't really be used. Is there any way I can return it to the sender? Some of you are asking for an update. I might in a while, if there is something new to tell. Right now it's just more of the same. I don't think I will be able to answer all the comments, but I am trying to at least answer

the ones with questions. Thank you. where op has replied, commenter one, Well yeah, I would just ditch that whole friend group and start trying to find new friends, my God, that some fucked up shit op yep, done and done I think I'm being too permissive with the word friend. It was going on for months.

Everyone knew. Nobody had the decency to tell me. It was only the one friend who wasn't even that close who stood up for me. Commenter too, you also can't make her hurt. She has no respect for you, and clearly doesn't care. so it will be impossible anyways. It would have the same effect as a drunk stranger telling you that you're awful. It might make you angry but you didn't care about that stranger so what they say is irrelevant.

Also, I can't imagine anything so utterly not worth your time. The delightful side effect of just ghosting is that they will stew in it. They want the reaction, but they get none. They realize they lost all their power and never get to know and feel that satisfaction that comes from getting the reaction you wanted. Boop. Oh, I get what you mean she is still texting me. I didn't mention one detail

because it wasn't important. We were all traveling together soon. My family paid for some of Jesse's expenses. She is messaging me about the vouchers, since I have them all. This fucking woman can't even wait a day to ask. It's like she's suddenly remembered she still needs me. I mean, I am not giving them to her either way.

Trip is off. Can she tell? Absolute truth. Commenter three, she would be more hurt by no response at all. To anything, ever, op, though no contact. Oop, I'm very much thinking the silence treatment will be the way to go. I think she just realized she needs me for the trip. She has been aggressively trying to contact me. Now she is saying that she liked my BF first, and I was the one who stole him,

so she is the one who should be mad. I know I should just block her everywhere. But is it petty that I am having fun watching her squirm? I wanted to have the last word, but not saying anything is driving her crazy. Comment her four, LOL-L-L-L-but. Seriously, that is one of the stupidest things I have heard. It is like saying, hey, babe, I jumped off a cliff because somebody was really pestering me to do it. Edit, I feel for you op, but what an excuse.

Oop, I confess I almost fell for it. How pathetic is that? He was saying he cared about me, it was just a mistake, he thought she would back off. And I felt it was a bad decision on his part, but maybe it made sense and I could forgive him. Then he said something like and I didn't even like her, you were the one who always wanted us to hang that's when my brain joined the party and I was like, is he seriously trying to blame this shit on me? More comments made by Op, most disgusting part is that it is a trip we would take together with

my BF and some other friends. So she really thinks I would let my family pay for her to go on vacation with my ex who she cheated on me with? I'm starting to think this woman is sick. Like for real. I just went straight to venting, didn't I? Sorry. Well, it was all Pete really.

After she texted she could get my BF if she wanted to, I just answered back. WTF Jesse. And she lolled as if it was a joke. After that, Pete texted me, asked me if I was alone. He was really kind and told me everything. Said he had proof and asked if I wanted to see it. I said yes. He had gone after our friends and convinced them to send him Prince. He's really well liked by everyone, and he was the one who said enough Pete is gay BTW, just in case anyone jumps the gun like my mom did and think he did this because he's interested in me or something. He's not. He is just a decent person. No, I didn't get prints between BF and Jesse. I guess I went straight to venting and didn't give much details. Wasn't expecting this response. There was this

friend Pete who convinced three other friends to send him texts between them, three friends, and either Jesse or BF, so he could have proof, because he thought what was happening was disrespectful and someone should tell me. There were prints of texts between two friends and Jesse and one other friend and BF. They were pretty clear. Jesse especially didn't seem to care about hiding it at all. B.F texts were mostly wondering if I had noticed something and wanting Jesse to back off, while saying she was hot, etc. There was nothing 100% confirmation on his side. It wasn't a talk between him and one of his closest friends, so it was kind of generic. But when I confronted him, I said I had Prince, without saying what they showed, and he just confessed.

I really appreciate the Prince. It was ultimate evidence. But I don't think they did it for me. It's a Pete thing, you'd have to know him to understand. He's the stand-up guy who is everyone's friend. He is a huge people person. I think they say, sent the prince because it was something for him, you know? He was the one leading the charge and dealing with consequences. If it were just me, I don't think they would have final update. I said I'd come back if anything relevant happened. XBF kept trying to get in touch through common friends. They kept asking me to unblock him and at least hear him out, because he was really sorry, he loved me, he was a mess, he didn't mean to. Someone even went as far as to ask me if I was

really sure it happened. They offered to send me prints of texts where he was talking about me, so I'd see how he always had great things to say and how much he cared. But I've had it with the print screen drama for life, and said no. To the ones who insisted I told them I wasn't unblocking him, had nothing to say or hear, and if they kept pushing me, I blocked them too. I ran into XBF at this book thing I go to often, hobby of mine. Maybe I'm being presumptuous, but I think he went there for me. He didn't really have any business there, but I'm just speculating really. He asked if I had a few minutes for coffee, I said I was late, lie. He walked me to my car. He looked so good, smelled great. He was so sweet. Was even wearing his hair the way I like it. I fell horrible because even

after everything, I still like him. He apologized some more, said he knew I needed time and space, but asked if I'd consider giving him another chance because he would wait for me, said he would never talk to Jesse again, and would act like they had restraining orders against each other. And I just found it really funny how everything he was saying required me trusting him, which I don't. So I told him I wasn't interested anymore and he should move on. I wish I said something snappier or wittier. But I had nothing. This was Saturday, I haven't heard from him or friends since. I think that was that. Jesse also kept trying to talk to me. Like I told some of you on comments,

I had a trip coming up, it would have been me, Jesse, XBF, and a few friends. Since Jesse couldn't afford it, my parents paid for most of her expenses. She must have remembered this right after everything went down and panicked because I had everything, vouchers, confirmations emails, credit card info. She went crazy. Even showed up at my place, I was wasn't home and my roommate told her to fuck off, exact words. I didn't block her at first because I admit I was having some fun watching her despair. I talked to my mom and she was amazing. Told me I should cancel everything even if it costed us money, it was fine.

So I did. And for one last bit of print screen drama, I printed all the emails I got confirming cancellations and sent those to Jesse with the word by before blocking her. My roommate has been amazing. We were never really close and now I don't even know why. She cancelled plans with her friends to stay with me and invited me to go out with them next weekend. A few of you suggested I see a therapist and I did, yesterday. I really liked it.

It was just one appointment and I mostly just talked, but it felt good. She gave me homework, she talked a little about unhealthy and abusive relationships and asked me to think about my friendship with Jesse and try to point what was healthy and what was unhealthy about it. made me realize she was never really my friend. She was taking advantage of me for years and she even had me thanking her for it. Therapist also told me about this saying, I think that's what it is, called the narcissist's prayer, which goes something like that didn't happen. If it did, it wasn't my fault.

If it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, then you deserved it, which is totally how Jesse is handling this whole thing now. So good riddance indeed. And a final piece of gossip. Pete talked to me yesterday, he is checking up sometimes, he's a good guy. Again, he is gay in case someone is still thinking this might turn into a romantic comedy. He said Jesse was super sure that since I broke things off, she and Dean would hook up right away. But apparently he doesn't have the same plans and that freaked her out over the weekend. Pete says he really is a mess and went out drinking hard four nights in a row to the point he had to be

carried home by his pals. And yesterday, they all went out for lunch at this burger place. Jesse was going to run her fingers through his hair or something and he just pushed her away and told her to stop and to never touch him again. Great that now he manages to do that, huh? I guess in the end he really did like me in his sick way. The thing is, I don't want to be with someone who likes me in a sick way. I want to be with someone who likes me in a healthy way. I think I deserve that. I am also thinking about taking the money I got back from the trip to go somewhere else by myself. Haven't decided though. Anyway, this will be the final update on this, since it is unlikely that I will have anything new to add now. I think I just need time to heal and let go,

you know? I might come back in a few months if there is reason to do a yay life is awesome now post, but I wanted to post this update now because I wanted to end this whole story on a bright note. and, of course, thank you all again. You are the best.