Reddit Stories - UNSETTLING Reunion_ Delving into the Tense ATMOSPHERE of Meeting My Partner's RELATIVES After a Long Courtship_

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #unsettling #reunion #tense #atmosphere #longcourtship  Summary: Exploring the tense and unsettling experience of meeting your partner's relatives after a long courtship, delving into the emotions and challenges faced during such reunions.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, unsettlingreunion, meetingrelatives, familydrama, relationshipchallenges, awkwardencounter, loveandfamily, navigatingemotions, socialanxiety, facingtheunknown, emotionalrollercoaster, challengingrelationships, familybonding, communicationstruggles, gettingtoknowinlawsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Encountered my partner's relatives following a prolonged courtship and sensed an air of unease due to their conduct. Subsequently, I learned that his former romantic partner had mysteriously disappeared without a single clue. I, 29F, finally met my boyfriends, 34M, family last month after dating for three years. We've been living together in Chicago for the past year, but his hometown is eight hours away in rural Missouri. I've been asking to meet his family since our first anniversary, especially since he's met mine several times when they visited from Thailand. Every time I brought it up, he'd say stuff like they're just really private or they're

old school and traditional or let's wait until we're more settled. Fair enough. Some families are weird about outsiders. Mine certainly has its quirks. Well, after three years together and me getting a permanent position at the hospital where I work as a physical therapist, we finally made the trip. And honestly, I don't know how to explain it except that something felt seriously off the entire weekend.

The moment we pulled into the driveway of his childhood home, I noticed his mom watching us from the window. Not a casual glance, she was full on staring, not moving, not waving, just staring. When we got out of the car, she suddenly burst through the front door and ran to us, arms outstretched. She threw herself at me, not my boyfriend, but me, and squeezed so hard. I could barely breathe. Oh my goodness, you're even more beautiful than the pictures. Jason, you didn't tell me she was this gorgeous. Oh my, look at your skin, your hair.

Perfect, just perfect. His mom kept touching me. Not in a perverted way, but constantly putting her hands on my shoulders, grabbing my hands when talking to me, playing with my hair, and hugging me at random moments. She kept saying how perfect I was and how beautiful I looked. The first night, she literally pinched my cheeks like I was a toddler. She insisted on serving me food, piling my plate high even after I said I was full, and kept refilling my wine glass despite me saying I don't handle alcohol well. Nonsense. You need to relax around family, she'd say, pouring more wine into my glass when I went to the bathroom and came back. I started pretending to sip it and then dumping some in a plant when no one was looking. His dad

barely acknowledged my existence. He'd nod when I spoke but never initiated conversation. Just sat there watching sports and occasionally whispering to my boyfriend in the kitchen when they thought I wasn't paying attention. Twice, I walked into the kitchen and they immediately stopped talking. Their house was modestly sized, not tiny, but small enough that whispering in one room could sometimes be heard in another if you were paying attention. At dinner the first night, his mom served everyone else normal portions but gave me enough food for three people. When I said I couldn't possibly eat at all, she looked genuinely distressed and said, but I made all this specially for you. Jason told me what you like. The problem was, most of the dishes weren't things I particularly

enjoyed. My boyfriend knows I don't like shellfish, but there was a huge shrimp dish in front of me. I told him multiple times I can't handle spicy food, yet his mom kept insisting I try her famous five-alarm because Jason said you love spicy things. The questions from his mom were bizarre. What kind of wife do you plan to be? How committed are you to making relationships work? Do you believe in trying to fix things no matter what? She seemed intensely interested in my previous breakups, asking why I ended things with my ex and whether I fought hard enough to save that relationship. When you love someone, she said while gripping my wrist at one point, you never give up on them. Ever. No matter what happens. Families stick together through everything.

That's what separates real love from fake love. His younger sister Rebecca kept giving me strange looks throughout dinner. She was maybe 25, lived at home, and barely spoke except to answer direct questions. When I asked what she did for work, she glanced at her mom before saying, I help around the house mostly. The entire weekend felt like some weird audition. My boyfriend, who's usually talkative and engaging, barely said three words. Just sat there with this strange smile, looking down whenever I tried to make eye contact. When we went to bed that first night in the guest room, I asked him if everything was okay,

and he just said, they really like you. That's good. The next morning, his mom insisted on making me breakfast even though I explained. I usually just have coffee. She made a massive spread, pancakes, eggs, bacon, waffles, fruit, and watched me intently as I ate. Every time I put my fork down, she'd urge me to eat more. Growing girls need their strength, she said, which was weird since I'm 29 and definitely not growing anymore. After breakfast, she suggested we look at family photos. For two hours, she showed me album after album, but strangely, there were very very few years.

few pictures of my boyfriend as a teenager or young adult. Lots of childhood photos up to about age 12, then almost nothing until recent years. When I mentioned this, she quickly changed the subject and pulled out a different album entirely. During lunch, his mom asked if I wanted children. Before I could answer, she started describing how she'd always wanted a large family and was disappointed Jason was taking so long to give her grandchildren. My boyfriend stared at his plate during this entire conversation. That afternoon, his dad finally spoke directly to me. He cornered me while I was looking at books in their living room and said, Jason tells me you're a permanent resident now. When I explained I was on a work visa,

he nodded and said, tough process. Be a shame if anything went wrong with that. Then he smiled and walked away. On the second night, I pulled my boyfriend aside and told him I wasn't feeling great and wanted to head back to Chicago early. When he asked why, I said maybe I wasn't used to how his family socialized, and that his mom was just really, really intense. I wasn't trying to be ungrateful. They prepared lots of food and given us their guest room, but something just felt wrong. He completely lost his shit.

Called me judgmental, culturally insensitive, and ungrateful when his family had bent over backward to welcome me. I apologized and said I was just overwhelmed. but he refused to discuss it further. That night, I overheard his parents talking in the kitchen after they thought we'd gone to bed. I couldn't make out everything, but I heard his mom say, she's perfect if she just learns to adjust,

and his dad responding with, not like the other one. The eight-hour drive back to Chicago the next day was silent. He turned up the radio whenever I tried to talk. When I asked if we could please discuss what happened, he said, there's nothing to discuss. You insulted my family after they welcomed you with open arms. That was a week ago. He's barely spoken ten words to me since.

Meanwhile, his mom has texted me constantly, how wonderful it was meeting me, how she can't wait to see me again, how she hopes will give her grandchildren soon, which is weird since we've never even discussed marriage. She sent me at least 20 messages, often late at night, with specific questions about when we might visit again. After three days of silent treatment, I tried apologizing again. He just grunted and walked out of the room. I went to work, came home, and found he'd moved his pillow and blanket to the couch. He didn't come to bed at all that night. Last night I cooked his favorite meal as a peace offering. He took one bite, said he wasn't hungry, and went to bed

at 7 p.m. The rest of the food sat untouched. I wrapped it up. I wrapped it up. I wrapped it up. I wrapped it up and put it in the fridge, but this morning, I noticed he'd thrown it all away. Vita here? Did I just screw everything up by being ungrateful? Should I have just kept my mouth shut about getting weird vibes? Edit, he's still not talking to me. It's been nine days. He sleeps on the couch and leaves for work before I wake up. I've tried everything, apologizing, making his favorite foods, suggesting we talk to a third party. Nothing. Just cold silence or one-word answers.

Last night I asked if he wanted to break up, and he just shrugged and went back to watching TV. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Hash Update 1. Holy shit. My previous post blew up overnight and I couldn't keep up with all the comments. Thanks for the advice, even the harsh stuff. After another day of silent treatment, I cornered my boyfriend when he got home from his job and insisted we talk. I blocked the doorway to the living room and said,

We need to sort this out right now. I can't live like this anymore. I apologized again for how I came across about his family and asked if we could please move past this. His reaction was not what I expected. He shoved past me, not violently, but firmly enough that I had to step aside, and threw his work boots across the room.

He turned to me with a face I'd never seen before. He exploded, saying my, reaction to his family showed exactly why he'd been protecting them from me for so long. Then he dropped the bomb that I should be fucking grateful that he brought me to America and that my entire life here depends on him. For context, we met in Thailand when he was teaching English at the Language Center where I worked as an administrator. I had already applied to graduate programs in the U.S. before meeting him. My English was already fluent, it's required in my field. I came on a student visa, which later converted to a

work visa when the hospital hired me. While he helped me navigate some paperwork, I earned my own way here. My salary as a physical therapist is actually higher than what he makes. When I pointed this out that I had my own visa, my own job, and had been planning to come to the U.S. even before we met, he shifted tactics and accused me of cheating on him. Said the only reason I'd find his perfect family uncomfortable was if I was trying to sabotage our relationship so I could run off with someone else. Who is it? That doctor you're always talking about? Or your friend Mike from the gym? I'm not stupid, I see the way you're always on your phone, smiling at messages.

The doctor he mentioned is a 65-year-old man who supervises my department. Mike is a gay client I've been helping recover from knee surgery. I wasn't smiling at messages, I was watching physical therapy technique videos on YouTube. He demanded to see my phone. I handed it over because I have nothing to hide. He spent an hour going through my texts, emails, photos, search history, everything. Found nothing, obviously. No inappropriate messages, no secret conversations, no hidden apps.

Instead of apologizing, he said he needed to reevaluate our entire relationship and stormed out. I heard his car screech out of the parking lot. He came back at 2 a.m., reeking of beer, and slept on the couch again. The next morning before work, he said his family was willing to give me another chance if I behaved better next time, and that no one else in America would put up with an ungrateful bitch like you. He said I should be on my knees thanking him for not kicking me out. I stood there like an idiot, watching him leave for work. My hands were shaking so badly I dropped my coffee mug and it shattered on the kitchen floor.

While cleaning up the pieces, I realized I'd never seen this side of him before. In three years, he'd raised his voice maybe twice, during normal arguments couples have. Never anything like this. That's when I did something I should have done days ago, I googled him. The first few results were normal. But then I found articles from six years ago in the Missouri Herald. Turns out, his previous girlfriend vanished. completely disappeared one night after leaving work.

Her car was found at a highway rest stop 30 miles outside their hometown. Local news articles showed he was investigated as a person of interest. They'd been dating for four years. The case went cold after a few months. No body was found. No charges filed. But he'd never mentioned this girlfriend at all. He told me he'd only had casual relationships before.

for me, nothing serious, just wasn't ready to settle down before you came along. I called my friend Kayla from work, and she came over immediately. I was sitting on the bathroom floor when she arrived, still clutching my phone with the news articles on the screen. She read the articles, then helped me pack essentials while I contacted my parents. They wired me emergency money through Western Union. Get out now, my dad said on the phone. Don't wait another minute. I love. I left before he returned from work. Checked into a hotel 50 miles away under Kayla's name. Turned off location services on my phone.

Left my laptop behind because it was company property and I wasn't thinking straight. Within an hour, he started texting. Where are you? Why did you leave? What's wrong? At first, the messages seemed concerned. I sent him screenshots of the news articles and asked why he lied about his past. The texts quickly turned nasty, you ungrateful cunt.

Nobody will ever want you like I do. You're making a huge fucking mistake. You'll regret this. After everything I did for you, this is how you repay me? Then came the threats, your visa won't be valid if I report what you did. I did nothing wrong and my visa doesn't depend on him. I know where your parents live. I paid for everything you have, completely untrue.

Then his mom started calling. Multiple times. Left voicemail saying her son was misunderstood and had nothing to do with that terrible business and that if we just settled down and started a family, everything would smooth out. Melissa was troubled, she said in one message. Always making up stories, always threatening to leave. Not stable like you. You're perfect for Jason.

You can heal our family. Please come back. We can work through this misunderstanding. I blocked both their numbers. Called the hospital and spoke to my supervisor, explaining I needed emergency leave for a personal crisis. She was understanding and approved two weeks. That night, I barely slept.

Every noise in the hotel corridor made me jump. The next day, Kayla drove me to the airport. I'm flying back to Thailand tomorrow. Most of my stuff is still at the apartment. but it's just stuff. My parents are wiring money for immediate needs, and I've already contacted an immigration attorney about my visa status. I don't know if he had anything to do with his ex's disappearance. That's for the police to figure out. But I know he lied about something massive, his family gives off serious creep vibes, and the way he flipped from loving boyfriend to threatening

asshole in the span of a week tells me everything I need to know. Thanks to everyone who commented on my original post. Without your input, I might have kept trying to fix things until it was too late. Update 2. It's been three months since I fled Chicago and returned to Thailand. A lot has happened, so I'll try to cover the important parts. First, I'm safe. I'm staying with my parents in Thailand while sorting out my next steps. I initially planned to just take a short break, maybe find a job in another U.S. city, but after weeks of harassment, I decided staying in Thailand made more sense for now. Technically, with my level of qualification as a physical therapist, I could have found another employer in the U.S. willing to sponsor my visa. But I'd need to deal with a new

petition, potential gaps in status, and the uncertainty of approval. My immigration attorney said that while it was certainly possible, the process would be stressful even under normal circumstances. He warned that someone this vindictive might try to interfere with any new visa process or employment verification. The last thing I needed was to be dealing with USCIS complications while also looking over my shoulder constantly. The threats my ex made about knowing where to find me in the U.S. really scared me. So I had to officially resign from my position at the hospital. My boss was incredibly understanding about the situation. I explained everything in a long phone call. She provided Abbott of a reference letter that's already helped me secure interviews at international

hospitals in Bangkok. Next week, I have a final interview with a rehabilitation center that specializes in treating tourists who've been injured while traveling. It's not ideal, but I'm making the best of the situation. The day after I arrived in Thailand, my boyfriend, now ex, emailed from a new address. He apologized for overreacting and begged me to come back, said his family really liked me and were confused by my sudden departure. Said I misunderstood the articles I found, that his ex had mental health issues and likely ran away, and that the police cleared him completely. No actual explanation for why he lied about her existence for three years. I didn't respond. Three days later, another email arrived with flight information. He'd purchased a ticket to Bangkok for the

following week. Said he was coming to bring me home and sort things out in person, said he'd already contacted the U.S. Embassy to help straighten out any visa misunderstandings. The email ended with you don't need to reply. I'll see you soon. I immediately contacted the Thai police and the U.S. Embassy. The embassy staff were surprisingly helpful, taking down all the information and placing notes in their system. They confirmed my visa status was completely independent of him and suggested I file a report with local authorities. I also filed a report with the local police. who promised to watch for him at immigration checkpoints. The officer I spoke with took copies of his threats and the news articles.

He never showed up. Either he couldn't get a visa on short notice or someone talked sense into him. Either way, the ticket went and used. A week after he was supposed to arrive, I received another email just saying this isn't over. His mother continued trying to reach me through different channels, creating new email addresses, reaching out to former co-workers, even contacting my parents through their website. Always with the same message, her son was innocent, I was making a terrible mistake, we belonged together, she'd always wanted a daughter just like me.

She even sent an email to my old supervisor saying I'd had a mental breakdown and needed to be brought home for treatment. Thankfully, my boss recognized this as harassment and forwarded everything to me. I blocked every new contact attempt and warned friends and family to do the same. My parents installed security cameras around their house as a precaution. Two weeks after I left, police officers showed up at my parents' house. Apparently, my ex had filed a missing person's report claiming I disappeared under suspicious circumstances and might be in danger.

The report suggested I might be suffering from delusions and had fabricated stories about his past before vanishing. The officers were confused when I opened the door myself and explained the situation. I showed them our text exchanges and the news articles about his previous girlfriend. They took notes and left, assuring me they'd update the international database to show I was safe and had left the U.S. voluntarily. Meanwhile, I've been picking up the pieces of my life. My parents helped me retrieve most of my documents and financial information, though some

personal items remain in Chicago. A friend helped me deal with a joint bank account, thankfully containing only a small emergency fund and my cell phone contract. I found out my ex tried to access my medical records at the hospital where I worked. The compliance officer contacted me after flagging his attempt as unauthorized. He'd shown up claiming to be my husband and saying he needed my records for an insurance claim. My former apartment manager emailed to say he'd finally move my things out of the apartment. Apparently, he'd kept paying rent for two months after I left, telling neighbors I was visiting family and would be back soon. When he finally moved out, he left behind most of my clothes and books but took all my

photos and personal mementos. Some people have asked why I didn't go to the police immediately after finding those articles. Honestly, I was scared and confused. Nothing overtly threatening had happened yet. He hadn't hit me or explicitly threatened me. I just felt unsafe in a way I couldn't fully articulate. My instincts were screaming to get out first, soared through the details later. Now I understand that was my subconscious processing danger signals my conscious mind hadn't fully registered. I don't know if my ex had anything to do with his previous girlfriend's disappearance. I hope the authorities figure that out. What I do know is that I escaped a situation that was rapidly deteriorating, where multiple red flags were waving, and where both he

and his family showed deeply troubling behavior. To those who commented on my original post saying I was overreacting to a family that was just being nice fuck you. Sometimes your gut knows something's wrong before your brain can articulate why. I'm alive because I listened to that feeling. To those who encouraged me to take the sign seriously and get out, thank you. Your words might have saved my life.