Reddit Stories - Unveiling Shadows A Family's Dark Secrets ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 106

Episode Date: May 16, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familysecrets #darkpast #emotionaldrama #truthrevealed #compilationEpisode 106 of "Unveiling Shadows" delves into a family's hidden truths, exploring the emotional turmoil and betrayal that surface when long-buried secrets come to light. The over three-hour compilation reveals the complexities of familial relationships, leaving viewers questioning loyalty and the impact of the past on the present.redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, familydrama, secrets, emotionaljourney, truth, revelations, darksecrets, relationships, storytelling, compilation, psychologicalthriller, familydynamics, drama, suspense, intrigue, entertainmentBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse mentioned wanting to pursue a new interest for personal fulfillment, but began neglecting our daughter's activities and returning home late. Later discovered that her closest companion was actually involved. Her affair partner. Well, FAC, I never expected to be writing this crap on Reddit. I'm using a throwaway because some of my friends follow my main account,

and this isn't something I want them finding out about yet. My wife Jessica, 34F, and I, 36M, have been married for eight years now. We met at a friend's barbecue back in college. I was finishing up my engineering degree and she was working as a waitress while figuring out what she wanted to do with her life. We clicked right away and got married two years later. Life was good, like really fucking good. We have this amazing six-year-old daughter. I remember the day she was born.

I was so nervous I almost passed out in the delivery room, but Jessica just laughed and told me to man up. I've been working my ass off as an engineer, putting in 60-hour weeks sometimes to make sure we can live comfortably in our suburban house with a white picket fence and all that crap. Jessica's been a stay-at-home mom since Melissa was born. It was actually her idea, she said she wanted to be there for all of Melissa's firsts, and I supported that decision 100%. We'd saved up enough from both our jobs before Melissa came along, and my salary could cover our expenses. She seemed happy with this setup for years.

But about a year ago, things started changing. Jessica began talking about feeling unfulfilled, like being a wife and mother wasn't enough anymore. I tried to understand, I really did, even though it was hard for me to relate. My whole identity is wrapped up in being a dad and husband too, but I actually love that. Maybe it was different for her because I still had my career. Like, even though I work mainly to provide for them, solving engineering problems and leading projects

gives me something else to focus on. Plus I get to interact with other adults all day, while she's stuck at home watching fucking Peppa Pig reruns with Melissa. After a bunch of late night talks and some, Some arguments, we tried to figure out what would make her happier. I even suggested she could go back to work part-time, but she said that wasn't what she wanted. She used to paint in college, had this whole artistic side I barely got to see anymore. Back when we were dating, she'd spend hours working on these weird abstract paintings in her

tiny apartment. That part of her just disappeared after Melissa was born. We looked at different options, and eventually pottery came up. There was this class at the community center that met three times a week while Melissa was at school. The timing worked perfectly, and I thought maybe getting back into art would help her find that spark again. The class wasn't cheap, but I figured it was worth it if it made her happy. We signed her up that same week, and I even helped her set up a little workspace in the garage where she could practice. For the first couple months, things were actually pretty great.

Our kitchen counter became this display area for all her pottery projects, lots of wonky mugs and these little bowls that weren't quite round. I still have this coffee mug she made me early on, the handle's kind of crooked and it doesn't hold much coffee, but I used it every morning just to see her smile. She never got much better at making stuff, but that wasn't really the point. The important thing was how much happier she seemed. She started cooking these fancy dinners again like she used. to when we first got married. We even started having sex more often, which was a nice bonus. It felt like we were getting back to being that young couple who couldn't keep their hands off each other. Then this Rebecca person came into the picture. Rebecca wouldn't shut up about her,

how funny Rebecca was, how Rebecca had traveled all over Europe, how Rebecca was going through a divorce and was so brave about it. I remember thinking it was good for Jessica to have a friend outside our usual neighborhood mom circle. They started going for coffee after class, which turned into drink some evenings. I even encouraged it at first. Fack, I was the one who told her to go ahead and buy that new dress she wanted to wear to their girl's night out. I watched Melissa those nights, ordered pizza, and we'd have daddy-daughter movie nights.

It seemed worth it because Jessica would come home all energized and happy, telling stories about their conversations and jokes from the evening. But crap started getting messy real quick. The pottery classes that were supposed to be three times a week somehow turned into almost daily meetups with Rebecca. Jessica started missing important stuff like she forgot about Melissa's parent-teacher meeting. I had to leave work early to cover for her, which pissed off my boss. I was already working overtime to pay for these fucking pottery classes, and now I was to

handle her responsibilities too. What made me angry was when Melissa's lunch wasn't packed three times in one week. My six-year-old had to eat cafeteria food because her mom was too busy with her new bestie to remember basic crap. I started having to check every morning before work to make sure Melissa had everything she needed. It was like having two kids to take care of instead of one. I kept telling myself this was just temporary, like when Melissa started kindergarten and it took us a few months to figure out our morning routine. Every marriage goes through rough patches, that's what my dad always said. But this crap was different. Jessica started coming home at 11 p.m., sometimes midnight, reeking of alcohol and whatever fancy cocktails they were drinking. I remember one night

she stumbled in at 1 a.m. on a fucking Tuesday. I was still up because I had to finish some work reports, and she could barely walk straight. When I asked where she'd been, she just mumbled something about Rebecca having boyfriend troubles and needing support. It was always some bullshit excuse about Rebecca. The thing that really got to me was how this affected Melissa. That little girl used to wait by the window every afternoon for her mom to pick her up from the bus stop.

Now Jessica was running late so often that I had to arrange with our neighbor to watch Melissa until I could get home from work. Melissa stopped asking for her mom to read her bedtime stories. She'd come straight to my office instead. Last week, Jessica actually showed up for dinner on time, and you should have seen how Melissa's whole face lit up. She started telling Jessica about this art project she made at school, but Jessica was too busy texting on her phone to even look at it.

My kid just stopped mid-sentence and went back to eating her Mac and cheese. That crap destroyed me. I tried to handle this like a fucking adult. One night after Melissa went to bed, I sat Jessica down in the kitchen. I kept my voice calm and explained how I was worried about her, about how Melissa was being affected by all this. I even brought up how we hadn't had sex in over a month, hoping that might get through to her. Big fucking mistake.

She went off on me about how I was trying to control her life, how I was jealous of her having friends, how I wanted her to stay trapped in the house forever. She said I should be happy she finally found something that made her feel alive. Alive? What about our family? But according to her, I was just being an unsupportive asshole who couldn't handle her personal growth. Personal growth my ass, since when does personal growth mean abandoning your kid? I lost my crap at that point. I reminded her how I'd supported every single thing she wanted to do. When she wanted to quit her job to stay home with Melissa, I picked up extra projects at work to cover the lost income.

When she wanted these pottery classes, I didn't even blink at the $200 monthly fee. And now she's telling me I don't support her emotionally. I started listing off all the times I'd covered for her with Melissa lately. She just stood there rolling her eyes and said the classic bullshit line. about how providing money isn't everything. Then she stormed out saying she needed air. Real mature.

Two weeks passed. We barely talked except about Melissa's schedule. Then one morning over breakfast, Jessica told me about wanting to go on some weekend pottery retreat with Rebecca. Said it was at some fancy arts center a few hours away. They'd work on their pottery skills, do some meditation, crap like that. My bullshit detector started going crazy. In eight years of marriage, Jessica had never once mentioned wanting to do any kind of retreat.

She hated being away from home. She even skipped her sister's bachelorette weekend last year because she said she'd miss Melissa too much. Now suddenly she wants to spend a whole weekend away at some pottery retreat. I played it cool though. Told her sure, she could go, but first I wanted to meet this Rebecca. person. After all, she'd been spending half her time with her for months now. Seemed pretty fucking reasonable to want to meet my wife's supposed best friend before they went on a weekend trip together. But holy crap, you should have seen how fast Jessica backpedaled.

First it was, oh, Rebecca is really shy around new people. Then it was she's going through a lot right now and isn't up for meeting anyone. Every excuse sounded more ridiculous than the last. That's when I knew something was seriously wrong. Eight years of marriage teaches you when your partner is lying, and Jessica was lying her ass off. I never wanted to be that guy who goes through his wife's phone. For eight years, I respected her privacy completely. Hell, we even used to joke about those couples who shared passwords and tracked each other's locations.

But something wasn't adding up with this retreat bullshit. it. Rebecca had started keeping her phone face down all the time, and she'd jump every time it buzzed. The final straw was when I saw her texting in the bathroom at 2 a.m. last week, she said she was just checking Instagram, but who the fuck checks Instagram at 2 a.m.? So yeah, I waited until she was in the garage getting her suitcase, and I grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter. She'd gotten sloppy with keeping it locked lately, probably too busy planning her fucking retreat. The truth hit me like a ton of bricks. No Rebecca anywhere in her contacts. But there was this contact saved as B with hundreds of messages. I started reading and felt

sick to my stomach. This guy Daniel was her pottery instructor. They'd been texting since her third class. The messages started innocent enough, talking about clay types and firing temperatures. Then they got flirty. Then explicit. I saw messages about meetups at his apartment after class. Hotel receipts. Fucking sexy pictures she'd sent him. While I was home making sure Melissa had dinner and did her homework, Jessica was sending this asshole messages about how exciting it was to sneak around. Eight years of marriage thrown away for some Dushabag pottery teacher. I wasn't about to let her gaslight me later, so I screen shot it everything and emailed it to myself. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the phone. Then I went upstairs where

she was packing. She had all her fancy lingerie laid out on our bed. She was standing there holding up different bras like she was planning a fucking fashion show. I couldn't help myself. I said, which one's Daniel's favorite? Still quiet. from the doorway. Her whole body froze. When she turned around and saw her phone in my hand, her face went white. You'd think she'd at least try to deny it or apologize. Nope. This woman, who I'd spent eight years building a life with, who I'd supported through everything, started screaming about her privacy. Like I was the bad guy for finding out about her affair. She went on this whole rant about how I had no right to go through her phone.

Then said she'd been unhappy for years and nobody in the family cared about her sacrifices. Sacrifices? I wanted to laugh. I'd been killing myself at work, taking care of our kid, covering all her responsibilities while she was out fucking her pottery teacher. But somehow I was the unsupportive one. The audacity of this woman was unreal. And what really pissed me off was how she tried to rewrite history, claiming I'd complained about everything I have done. That was complete bullshit. I never said a word until she started

missing Melissa's school events and forgetting basic mom stuff. For months I'd watched her pull away from our daughter, and I kept my mouth shut hoping she'd snap out of it. She started getting louder, practically yelling about how she deserved to be happy. I tried to get her to quiet down. It was almost midnight and Melissa's room was right down the hall. That set her off even more. She started screaming about how everything was always about Melissa, never about her needs. Can you believe that crap? A grown woman jealous of her own six-year-old kid. Then I heard my daughter coming to our room.

Melissa stood in the doorway. Daddy? Mommy? Why are you fighting? This was exactly what I didn't want to happen. I ran over and knelt down next to her, trying to act like everything was normal. told her we were just having a grown-up talk and I'd come read her another story in a few minutes. Jessica just stood there like a statue, didn't even try to comfort her own kid.

Melissa looked back and forth between us before heading back to her room. She looked scared. Once Melissa was gone, I turned back to Jessica and kept my voice real low. I asked her to really look at what she was doing to our family. Our daughter was literally scared to be in her own house because her mom was too busy thinking about her affair to give a crap about anyone else. Jessica just broke down crying, going on about how trapped she felt as a housewife and how she needed to find herself. Said I had my fancy engineering job while she was stuck at home. That's when I lost it.

I told her my job wasn't some fun hobby, it was me sacrificing 60 hours a week so she could stay home with our kid like she wanted. She'd blown up our entire family because she was bored. Because pottery class and screwing the instructor made her feel alive. She'd traumatized our daughter because Daniel made her feel special. There was no coming back from this crap. She'd nuked our marriage, and for what? Some middle-aged guy who taught pottery to board housewives. Jessica went into full damage control mode.

She started promising all kinds of crap between her socks. She'd blocked Daniel's number right now. She'd find us a marriage counselor first thing tomorrow. She'd quit the pottery class and be a better mom to Melissa. She even offered to get a job so I wouldn't have to work so much. But watching her cry there on our bed, all I could think about was how she'd sent dirty texts to Daniel from that same spot while I was reading bedtime stories to our daughter. The trust was gone. Completely fucking gone.

I left her crying in our room and called my brother David. He's always had my back, he said to bring Melissa over right away. When I told Jessica I was taking Melissa to David's for the night, she tried to stop me. She'd saying crap about how I couldn't take her daughter away. I shut that down real quick. Told her if she tried to stop me, I'd call her parents right now and tell them exactly why their perfect daughter's marriage was falling apart. That got her attention.

Jessica's parents are old-school Catholics, they disown her if they knew she was cheating. Maybe it was a low blow, but I didn't give a fuck anymore. I just needed to get Melissa somewhere stable for the night. I might update this in the morning when I know what to do next. Day one, the next morning, after barely sleeping on David's couch, things were clearer. David's wife Tiffany made us breakfast, and watching Melissa laugh at her uncle's stupid jokes made me realize what needed to happen. She deserved better than this crap show. I called Jessica around 10 a.m. after I dropped Melissa at school. Told her we

needed to talk about separation. She started crying again, begging me to come home so we could work things out. Said she'd made a horrible mistake but she still loved me. Still loved me? That's rich coming from someone who'd been fucking their pottery teacher for months. I am sorry for bringing the fucking pottery teacher again and again but cheating on me with a fucking pottery teacher just shows how fuck my life is. I agreed to bring Melissa by to see her later, kids shouldn't suffer just because her mom's a cheater. But I made it clear we were done. Marriage is built on trust and she'd taken eight years of trust and thrown it in the garbage for some quick thrills with Daniel. She tried every trick in the book.

crying about how she'd do anything to fix it, promising she'd never talk to Daniel again, swearing she'd be a better wife and mother. But you can't unfack your pottery teacher. You can't unsend those messages about how exciting it was to cheat on your husband. Some bells just can't be unwrung. When we got to the house, Melissa ran straight to Jessica and hugged her tight. That image fucked me up inside.

My little girl had no idea her mom had chosen some random dude over our family. Jessica was crying and hugging Melissa like she was the victim in all this. I sent Melissa upstairs to grab some toys she wanted to take back to Uncle David's. Once she was out of earshot, I told Jessica straight up that I was filing for divorce. The look on her face was like she couldn't believe this was actually happening. Like somehow she thought tears and promises would make me forget. about Daniel. She tried every manipulation tactic in the book. First came the your overreacting bullshit, like finding out your wife is banging her pottery teacher is no big deal. Then she pulled

out this crap about how she was just trying to find herself. I nearly lost it at that point. Since when does finding yourself mean destroying your family? I'd supported her through every phase. The yoga phase, the organic cooking phase, even that time she wanted to start a mommy blog. But apparently cheating on your husband and neglecting your kid was just part of her journey of self-discovery. Fact that noise. I met with this divorce lawyer David recommended who specialized in cases involving infidelity. He looked at the screenshots I'd saved and said I had a pretty good case for both the affair and child neglect told me to document everything. I went through my phone and found dozens of texts from Melissa's teachers about Jessica missing meetings.

Had screenshots of her Instagram posts at bars when she was supposed to be at pottery class. Even had receipts from all the times I'd had to buy Melissa's school supplies last minute because Jessica forgot. The next few weeks were brutal. Jessica's mood swings gave me whiplash. One day she'd send these long apologetic texts about how sorry she was and how she'd do anything to fix things. The next day she'd be calling me a controlling asshole who never let her be herself. The worst was when she started using Melissa as a weapon. She'd say crap like a good father would keep the family together or think about what this will do to Melissa. Real rich

coming from someone who'd missed her own kid's school play to hook up with her side piece. I shut that manipulation down real quick. Reminded her that she was the one who blew up our family when she decided to fact Daniel instead of being a mother to her daughter. The divorce proceedings lasted four months. My lawyer went for the jugular with the custody battle. We had a mountain of evidence showing Jessica's negligence. The custody hearing was rough. My lawyer painted a picture of Jessica as an unstable mother

who'd chosen an affair over her child's well-being. I sat there watching them tear apart her character, and honestly, I felt nothing. Every bad thing they said about her was true. The judge awarded me full custody with Jessica getting three days of visitation per week. She cried in court when they announced it. Telling Melissa about everything was the hardest part. She'd ask these innocent questions.

Is Mommy coming home soon? Did I do something wrong? Why can't we all live together anymore? I'd sit with her in her bedroom, surrounded by her stuffed animals and princess posters, trying to explain things in a way a six-year-old could understand. I told her that sometimes grown-ups make choices that hurt the people they love, but none of it was her fault. That mom and dad both still loved her very much, even if we couldn't live together anymore. Jessica went full victim mode on social media after the divorce.

started posting these vague quotes about narcissistic abuse and finding yourself. Made these long Facebook posts about how she was healing from trauma and rediscovering her worth. The comments were full of people who only knew her side of the story saying crap like stay strong mama and you deserve better. But that backfired when I sent screenshots of her texts with Daniel to her parents. They were old school Catholics who'd been married 40 years, they were fucking devastated. Her dad couldn't even look at her. Our whole friend group sided with me too. They'd seen how she'd changed,

how she'd blown off playdates and family gatherings to spend time with her pottery class. The financial settlement was the final nail in her coffin. My lawyer made sure she got fucked in the division of assets. I kept our house, the one I'd been paying the mortgage on while she was screwing Daniel. Got to keep my car too, while she got stuck with her old Honda civil. The judge gave her some pathetic amount of alimony, like $800 a month, but with her affair she couldn't argue for more. She got maybe a quarter of our savings, but that wouldn't last long with rent and bills to pay. She had no job, no real skills, she'd been out of the

workforce for six years. Last I heard she was living in some shitty apartment across town and trying to find work as a receptionist. Karma's a bitch. I heard through mutual friends that Daniel ghosted Jessica right after the divorce was finalized. Apparently he'd been seeing two other women from different pottery classes the whole time. Jessica tried calling him for weeks, but he wouldn't pick up. She even showed up at his apartment once, but he pretended he wasn't home. Serves her right, she torched her whole life for a guy who was just using her as one of his side pieces. I never confronted him about any of it. What would be the point?

sometimes I imagine running into him at the grocery store or something. I'm not usually a violent person, but I can't guarantee I wouldn't knock his teeth out if I saw him smirking at me across the produce section. Life's different now, but we're making it work. I talked to my boss and switched to a four-day work week. The pay cut sucks, but being there for Melissa is worth it. I've learned how to French braid hair, thank God for YouTube tutorials, and I can make a decent school lunch now. Jessica gets her three days of visitation, Wednesdays after school and every other weekend. I make sure Melissa's ready on time with her overnight bagpacked, even though Jessica's been late for pickup twice this month already. I keep my mouth shut about it though. Melissa

lights up when she sees her mom, and I won't take that away from her just because I want to tell Jessica what a crap parent she is. We do this weird dance at pick up and drop off, pretending to be civil while barely looking at each other. Jessica tries to make small talk sometimes, asks about Melissa's school or activities. I keep my answers short and stick to the facts. No point in giving her any opening to try to manipulate her way back in. I hope you enjoy this story. Close friend destroyed my world by convincing others that I spurned them in high school

due to her envy and controlling nature, leading to the breakdown of her marriage as a result of her persistent behavior. Me up. Hello everyone. I, 28F, used to be best friends with Anna, 28F, since high school. She was popular and outgoing, while I was the introverted nerdy friend. In high school, I had a crush on Ethan, 28M, but I assumed he'd prefer Anna, so I stayed out of it.

They started dating, and I supported her with reluctance because of their toxic, on-and-off relationship. Over time, I grew to dislike Ethan because he was rude and mean. They broke up when we were 21, but got back together with him a year later and eventually got engaged at 23. Three months before the wedding, Ethan drunkenly called me, asking why I rejected him. I dismissed him and said he was drunk and ended the call. The very next day, I was kicked out of group chats and ghosted by everyone else in our friend's

circle. When I texted my friends to ask what happened, they gave me the silent treatment. When I reached out to Anna, I found myself blocked. Desperate, I even tried calling Ethan, but my number was blocked too. I had no idea what I'd done wrong and I wished anyone would tell me. That week was hell. Anna's silence hurt the most because, at the time, she meant everything to me. I barely slept, battling panic attacks at night while trying to keep it together for class during the day. If not for my supportive roommates who helped me through my panic attacks, I don't know how I would have made it through. Anna and I attended the same local university but took different courses. I waited for her outside her class. When she came out with her

friends, I pulled her aside and asked what was going on. She accused me of being a fake friend. She accused me of being a fake friend, who tried to steal Ethan. I denied her accusation and asked for proof, but she went silent and left. They didn't unfriend me on Facebook, but kept posting about their hangouts in the bridal shower, along with indirect jabs at me. I eventually deleted my old account, and changed my number. I slowly rebuilt my self-esteem and moved on. I recently created a new Facebook account. A few days ago, I was added to a group chat for our upcoming reunion. which I had no idea about. They greeted me, calling me class president as if they hadn't shunned me six years ago. I left the group, but they messaging me. Anna kept calling, so I finally picked up

out of annoyance. She told me that she was sorry for everything and wished for me to come to the class reunion party. The party didn't seem to be complete without the class president every year. She told me that she divorced Ethan after two years of marriage. She tried to reach out to me but couldn't find any of my socials or contact info after we graduated. I asked her why she was telling me all this when she was not important to me anymore. She cried. I ended the call and continued ignoring their messages on Messenger. My family says forgiveness is for my own peace and that it doesn't mean forgetting.

But I don't feel anything anymore, only indifference. I don't owe them anything to ease their guilt. So, Ida Update, November 21st, 2024 Hey guys Some people from my previous posts suggested that I reach out to Ethan However, before I could do so, he reached out to me first Yesterday, I received a friend request from him,

along with a message saying hi in my messenger. So, we talked. He invited me for a coffee this weekend so we can talk about it. I told him to not push his luck and just answer me. I asked him about his call that night. Since most boys were too intimidated to approach me, they often asked Anna to convey their feelings to me. Ethan was one of them.

Apparently, a lot of boys had a crush on me back then. But at the time, only Anna received open confessions. So I assumed I was undesirable, not that it mattered to me. I was foolishly infatuated with Anna. so much so that I would have rolled out a red carpet for her to walk on if I could. She was my entire world back then. Not even once have I ever heard about any boys in high school liking me from Anna. Apparently, Anna would always came back to them with her apologetic face,

telling them that I had rejected them and repeating the insults I had supposedly said about them. No wonder some people back in high school called me arrogant and dislike me for some reason. I just thought it was because I was a strict class president and student committee member. Unlike Anna who was friendly and charming, I was strict, sharp-tongued, and rarely smile. I don't owe anyone a smile. Ethan explained that he was mean to me back then because Anna told him I had said he was an orphan abandoned by his parents. This was a particularly sensitive topic for him, as he had been raised by his grandparents

since childhood. He later discovered the truth when Anna inadvertently admitted it during an argument. That moment led him to file for divorce. Ethan shared that he genuinely did love Anna, but her constant insecurity and habit of bringing up my name in every argument strained their relationship. She either accused Ethan of still thinking about me or compared him to me. Anna did found out about Ethan's drunken call that very same night. They had an argument and Ethan came close to calling off the wedding, but Anna guilt tripped him into staying. Neither Ethan nor Anna lied or twisted the story. Anna simply told our entire friend group to stop talking to me. They knew I hadn't done anything wrong, but somehow, it was still my fault that Ethan had

unresolved feelings towards me. I was, and still am, an introvert, and most of my friends back then were hers. It wasn't surprising that they followed her lead when she turned against me. They were always her friends, not mine. Anna and my ex-classmates then painted me as a villain to the other friends from high school. Ethan didn't do anything to help me because he was manipulated to hate me, his words not mine. That's why I changed my number and deleted all my social media accounts. While no one directly bombarded me with mean messages, I constantly saw posts that seemed to be aimed at me, even though my name was never mentioned.

Ethan only revealed everything to the other friends after his divorce with Anna was finalized. Now, Anna and my ex-classmates are the ones being shunned by the others since two years ago. Ethan said he owed me an apology, though he knew it wouldn't be enough after everything that happened. While he never smeared my name, he stood on the sidelines and did nothing simply because I rejected him and called him an abandoned orphan during high school. He asked me if I will be going to the upcoming reunion party. Turns out the reunion party this time was for the 1995 high school batch. My ex-classmates probably wanted their former class president to attend for appearances. I told him I won't go.

He said I can sit with him and his ex-classmates if I wanted to. Why would I? Brother Ugg. I told him I wouldn't be attending because I have no friends from high school. He mentioned that the others would be sad if they heard I said that. Well, screw them. I received a lot more messages from old friends, but I didn't respond to any of them. I have no attachment towards them.

I told Anna that Ethan already told me everything. She called me on Messenger again, sobbing. She admitted she might have been a terrible friend, but that she did care about me. All those years, I was always on her mind. I was too attached to her back then because she was my first real friend, as I had no friends in middle school. I was too shy and quiet so I couldn't make friends. Anna taught me how to make friends and overcome my social anxiety and introduce a lot of people to me. I learned to cook for her and took care of her when she was sick. I even protected her from creeps. Everything I did was for her.

Now that I think about it, it was kind of unhealthy. Maybe she wanted me to be that version of myself again, only for her convenience. She begged me to try again, that she would be a better person for me. But I just ended the call and blocked her. After a few minutes of contemplating, I decided to delete my Facebook account again. I have a feeling that if I didn't, they will keep on bothering me. I'll settle with a fake account. The main reason why I made my Facebook account is to play Harvest Town anyway. Sorry for the long post. This will be my one and only update. I want to thank the four people who personally messaged me on Reddit.

Your messages meant a lot, as not many people have done so much for me in my life. I hope my update answered your questions. Farewell. Additional information from OOP on clarifying her timeline. English is not my first language. We were born in 1995. What I meant was reunion for year in 1995. students' comments where OPP has replied, commenter one, cause, perhaps, in a way she was.

For all we know she liked OPP romantically, and simply never admitted those feelings, perhaps even to herself, because even if it isn't strange for a mean girl to lie about the interest a boy she likes has for her friend. It is odd to do it to all love interests OPP had. How do I know? I'm a bisexual woman, admitting to myself that I liked other girls as a teenager, Ohop, do you really think so? I thought it was normal between female best friends to hold hands and sleep together. I'm bisexual too. Commenter too, it's brave of you to confront your past.

You're not obligated to forgive anyone. Prioritize your own peace and build healthy relationships moving forward. OOP, thank you. I really do feel indifferent now. It has been six years, and I have better friends now. I'm content with my life. Commenter 3. Nothing weird about holding hands and sleeping together, with full clothing on and just sleeping in the same bed, I mean. But rejecting all potential love interests is a red flag. Oh, O. P, me and Anna never do anything. But she would always lean on my

shoulder and hug me when sleeping. She always insisted that I sleep over at her house on the weekend. Commenter 4. Perhaps Anna had feelings for you. This doesn't excuse any of her shitty behavior, honestly. It reminds me of a popular girl I knew in high school, who liked me, but we were very incompatible, so I rejected her, let me tell you, she made my life as hard as she could for as long as we were in the same class. It doesn't excuse any of Anna's awful behavior, but it is a possibility. Oh, O. P, I doubt it, honestly. Maybe she just likes the idea of being taken care of. She had no problems throwing me away for Ethan.

But now that I think about it, our dynamic was weird. And maybe this is too much information, I didn't date back then and only hooked up with people because Anna didn't like them and she didn't agree. And now, I have trust issues and I'm too afraid to commit in a relationship. It's not that I like to cheat or anything. I'm just too afraid to trust my life. and my heart to someone else again. Next story, sister's wife treated me like I didn't exist and hid their baby's gender from me. When my sister found out, she said she'd jump in front

of a train for me instead of her wife. My sister is a lesbian and married her wife a year ago. They receive financial support from my parents, they're wealthy and generous, have good jobs, and as such, have decided to have a baby. Currently, her wife is about six months pregnant, and the two of them are visiting for holidays. I'm in college, so I don't see them very often, yes, my parents give me financial support as well everything is fair and square, but I'm really excited for their baby. My sister and her wife had been dating since their senior year of college, and were friends since childhood before that.

I'm seven years younger, so I was kind of left out of the loop. I never knew my sister's wife until they got married, and even then, I was swamped with my first year of college, so I didn't really ever get to know her. I was really excited, though, for this trip, since we'd get some one-on-one time together. Our parents live about two hours away from my sister and her wife, and I flew in from across the country. We're all staying with our parents, who are not yet retired. My flight got in yesterday late at night, so I slept in. My parents went to work, my sister went to go do some shopping. My sister-in-law stayed in with me, but I didn't realize she was around until she came downstairs while I was making lunch. She's pretty obviously

pregnant, and I haven't seen her since her wedding, so I was really excited to see her. She was not. I said hi, and went to hug her, and she backed away. I apologized, and she just kind of looked at me weird, and went looking through the fridge. I tried to make small talk with her, so I asked when she was due. She gave me a really weird look, like I'd asked what her cup's eyes was. and then just said March and kept making her food. I said I was really excited to have a niece or nephew, then asked if she wanted a boy or girl. She sighed really loudly, said she didn't care, and moved on.

My sister had mentioned that her wife had PTSD due to a previous pregnancy, so I worried that might have been it. I tried to shift the subject and asked how her work was. She set her knife down really loudly, stared at me for 30 seconds, then said fine and went into the dining room without saying anything else. Throughout the day, I kept just trying to interact with her. Offered to get her a drink while I was in the room, she just muttered no, asked what she was watching, you wouldn't know it, it was the Simpsons, said I was really glad she was spending the holidays with us. A very begrudging

yeah. Really, I thought this must just be how she is. Then, my parents and sister came home, and she was super cheery and nice to them. My dad was asking if they had names picked out, and she just wouldn't stop chattering on. My sister said she wanted a family name, and her wife insisted on a unique name. My mom pointed out that my name and eyes, isn't very common, but it's also a family name, same as my grandmother, and they should consider it. I said I wouldn't mind having a niece with my same name, and my sister was really enthusiastic about it. Her wife gave me a death glare. I just ended up getting the silent treatment.

At dinner, I asked if she would pass the potatoes, and she didn't listen. I repeated myself, she ignored me, and then my sister told her I had asked for her to pass the potatoes. Suddenly, she was all bubbly and giggling gas I didn't hear. What do I do? Should I tell my sister? Directly challenge her? I have very positive relationships with my parents and my sister, and I want to be really involved with my niece-nephew, so I really don't want to go 100% no contact or anything.

How can I try to resolve or at least get over this? Mini update, as of this morning. So, we all had breakfast together. I sat across from my sister, between my parents, with my sill kitty corner to me. My sill actually spoke to me. but it wasn't all that positive. She asked if I was seeing anyone, in kind of a snarky tone. I said no, school was really busy, I just didn't have time, etc.

She responded, well, not everyone finds someone. My sister tried changing the subject, asking my parents whether or not they'd gone to their winter home yet. They're those rich people. My sill was so nice to them. She was saying what a gorgeous house it is. how grateful she was to have been able to take a vacation there with my sister last month. My mom is easily flattered, so once my sill got started, she started gushing about her,

and it was just a mush fest. After breakfast, I offered to go take our dogs for a walk. When I came back, my parents had left with my sister to go shopping again, and my sill was the only one home. She asked me how I was liking college, and I said I was liking it a lot. I major in pre-de- started talking about it a bit, and she rolled her eyes. I apologized for oversharing, and she said, no. It's fine. You just have a problem with reading the room, I guess. Then, she walked away. When my sister comes home, I'm definitely going to tell her about it. Additional info, OOP clarified why Sil may not like her. There was one thing I might be able to think of in terms of her wedding it was initially scheduled on the day of my finals.

This was prior to invitations being produced slash mailed, just their idea. So I called my sister to tell her I either wouldn't make it, or the date would have to be changed. She was really upset about it, because she and her wife had wanted a winter wedding, the date seemed perfect for them, etc. I said they didn't have to sacrifice the winter aspect, just maybe move it a day back. There was a kind of big fight, and I can assume my sill got in on it, but my sister is the kind of person who likes to. to be liked, think of her as a human golden retriever, and she didn't want to be mad at me, so we worked through it. Her wedding ended up being the day after my finals, which I was grateful for, and there's been no resentment or hard feeling since. My sister actually laughs at herself

for being kind of an ass. Her choice quote from that time was, you just don't have to go. It's just a test. I was my sister's MO, and I didn't see much of my sill prior to the wedding. She'd gotten food poisoning from her bachelorette party, so she was kind of hold up for the majority of the pre-wedding hubbub. During the reception, I made a toast, talked about my sister and her wife's friendship, how we've just been waiting for the two of them to get married, they're a match made in heaven, etc., etc. She teared up, gave me a big hug, and said she was excited to be my sister-in-law. I wanted to talk more with her, but some relatives wanted to ask me why I chose the college I did, so I went to go talk to them.

I'm probably going to bring this up with my sister either today or tomorrow. It all depends on what my sill is up to. Update, so, I didn't get the chance to talk to my sister. When my parents came back from shopping with my sister, my mom started saying how she had the perfect onesie for her granddaughter. Before my sill could start gushing, I asked what my mom meant. She asked if I hadn't heard I'd be having a niece, and I replied I hadn't. My sister said it was weird, because she'd asked her wife to tell me once they'd gotten

the ultrasound. Her wife had zero excuse, and had the most dear in the headlights reaction. There was something that just sort of snapped, and I started crying. I felt kind of spoiled and horrible for it, so I apologized, and went upstairs with the dogs. My parents came upstairs, and my mom went to go ask if I was okay, and my sister and her her wife started shouting downstairs. My mom basically said that my sill does not like me, and that it wasn't really my fault she's just bad with people she doesn't know, and took it out on me inappropriately. And yes, my sill was still pissed about the wedding date thing, which just made it worse. I felt really

shitty and just, just like really bad. Part of it wasn't my fault, but part of it was my fault. and apparently my sister knew about both issues beforehand and had given my sill directions to try and get along with me. They were still shouting downstairs, and I was kind of bordering on a meltdown, so I asked my mom if we could take the dogs for another walk. We went out the back, and when we came home, my sister had left the house to cool down, and her wife was upstairs. I spent most of the rest of the day downstairs, until my sister came home.

She had obviously been crying and was in a bad mood. My mom took her into the kitchen to try and calm her down, so I kept sitting in the living room. I felt like a brady little kid again. Like, I genuinely felt like I'd fucked up my sister's marriage and probably ruined our relationship in the process too. Everything just felt awful. And when my sister came out of the kitchen, she didn't even look at me, just went storming back upstairs. Her wife started yelling first, and they were fighting for a while before it got

quieter upstairs. My mom, dad, and I went out for dinner, and when we came home, my sill was waiting for us. My sill apologized to me, saying she had been petty and rude, and that the wedding date thing had been an unissue. I said it was okay if she was upset about the wedding thing, but I wish she had let me know. She said it wasn't that easy, since my sister would basically take a bullet for me, and it had caused them a big fight before their wedding. I said I had no idea, and that I was sorry to be the source of that tension, and I just wanted to be able to be a good sister-in-law myself and be a good aunt. My sill got angry and said I had ruined the opportunity for the first one, and she wasn't banking on the second one. Then, she stormed upstairs,

and she and my sister got into another big fight. I felt awful. The bad feelings manifested physically, and I spent most of the night throwing up while my sister and her wife fought. My mom was really kind to stay up with me, and my dad tried to get my sister and her wife to get off each other's backs. I specifically heard my sill shouting, who would you jump in front of a train for? Me, or her? And my sister responded, without missing a beat, my sister, no questions asked. They got quieter after that, and my sill started up the screaming about an hour later saying, I'd let all my siblings die for you. My sister slept on the couch, and the two of us went out for breakfast in the morning. She basically said that after my

sill gave birth, she and my sister were going to separate. They would try counseling prior to the birth, and afterwards too, but if things weren't getting better, they'd be divorcing. I said that it shouldn't have gotten that far, and I was sorry for pushing the both of them. My sister said that my sill does this to all my sister's friends, and they've been fighting often. But, she clarified that the way she treated me was a deal-breaker. She said it might have sounded sad, but I was her best friend from birth, and she wouldn't let me not feel welcome like that. I felt really guilty, and started crying again.

She kept saying she wanted it this way, their relationship was broken as is, etc. It's been tense and awkward ever since. My sill won't look at me or speak to me, and I've given up. My sister has been by my side a lot, and has amped up the good sister behavior 10x. I feel like shit, everything is really terrible, and I'm sure I'm going to be making another post during the actual Christmas bullshit. Not a great update, but there we are. I hope you enjoy this story.

Discovered my spouse's closest companion being unfaithful with our shared acquaintance at a soccer match, only to learn that my spouse was accepting of the situation and was also engaging in infidelity. Days ago I went out to a hockey game with a friend of mine, I'll call her Janelle, and my boyfriend's friend, I'll call him Scott. Originally my boyfriend was supposed to come with but he ended up getting called into work to cover a night shift. So last minute my BF asked Scott if he wanted to take his place, to which he said yes. We've all gone out together before. Janelle knows of Scott, but we haven't actually all spent time together, just the three or four of us. It's always been in bigger group settings or with just my BF and I and Scott and his wife or my BF and I and Janelle and her husband.

Remember that. Scott and Janelle are both married and they aren't married to each other. This is important. So we go out for dinner before the hockey game to get some wings and a few beers because the beers at the arena are insanely expensive. We get a little wobbly and get to the game and I notice Scott and Janelle kind of getting a little close. She's laughing a little more than usual. He's getting a little more handsy, but she's not pushing him away. I mean, Scott is funny, but he's not that funny.

So I'm trying to enjoy the game and sort of ignore whatever it is they think they're doing. Then Scott and Janelle say like, hey, we should go out for drinks after and I'm like, yeah, I don't really want to at this point because I've had a long work week, but I honestly don't really trust them alone together. I just have this gross feeling. So I feel pressure to say yes. Janelle's like, don't worry. We'll just go for one and head home. And I'm like, okay, one I can do. So we go to this bar across the street from the arena after the game. But instead of one, they both go on to have about four or five more. I'm really pissed off at this. I'm really pissed off point because I'm tired and practically sober and literally the third wheel. They are so into

each other it's disgusting and I'm getting an Uber ready to pick me up because I want no part of this. I also try to ask them about their partners and their kids any chance I can get, like oh, how's so and so doing, or it was so and so's birthday just last month, what did you get up to? But they weren't taking the bites. At this point, I'm also texting my husband everything that I'm seeing but because of the work he does. He doesn't have access to a his phone until a certain period during a shift. So I know he's not going to respond right away. So the Uber comes and I'm like, kay, guys, I'm out of there. And they're like, oh, can we just catch a ride and then we'll pay the difference and I'm like, yeah, whatever. So they get in the

back seat of the Uber and I'm in the front. We're on the way to my house and I go to look back and they are making out hard with each other. Like hard. The Uber gets to my house and I just leave without even saying goodbye to them. I go inside and I'm trying to sleep, but I literally can't stop thinking about their families. I thought I knew Janelle. We've been friends since our first year in university. I've been to both of their weddings

and I've held both of their little babies in my hands. I got her a job with my dad at his company and she's the graphic designer there. I cannot believe that they've both done this. I'm regretting the fact that I call them both friends. They always say that you're a part of the company you keep around you, and now I'm second-guessing our friendship. It's about 3 a.m. when my phone goes off and because I'm in a light sleep, I check out my phone

and see that my husband is finally responding to all of my messages. He's just as repulsed as I am. He apologizes for his buddy Scott and he's like, I can't believe they did that right in front of you. And I'm like, yeah. But like, could you imagine if I wasn't there? Like why would they be so into each other with someone who knows their family so well? And he's like, yeah, that is weird.

And then I'm like, should I tell their partners? And he's like, no, you should just stay out of it. You don't want to get wrapped up in stuff like that. And I'm like what? I'd want to know if you were cheating on me like that, wouldn't you want to know? And he's like sometimes ignorance is bliss. And then I'm like, hmm. Okay, I'll see you when you get to.

home. That whole conversation didn't sit well with me. Ignorance is bliss. WTF does that mean? So I try to bury the fact that my husband just said that and try to get some shut eye. Then the morning comes and my husband gets in early and he's tired and crawls into bed. I'm like telling him that what I saw really shook me up and he's like, yeah, that's awful. I can't even imagine. I'm like, yeah, I don't think I can just sit on this. I really feel like I have to say something. It's just weighing so heavy on me. And he's like, op, stay out of it.

Really? It's none of our business. And I'm like how is it none of my business when they just did that right in front of me? And then he turns to me and we're laying in bed and his voice gets all stern and he's like Janelle and Scott have been seeing each other for the last seven months and Scott swore me to secrecy to not tell anyone.

He asked me if you were cool. with it and I said yes. So if you say something to their partners, it means I lied to them. And I'm like YTF would you say something like that and put words in my mouth? Why would you think that's ever okay? And he's like Scott is like a brother to me, I've known him since grade school. He's not happy with his wife. He hates his life. Just let him have this. And I'm like what on earth is going on. So now I'm out of bed and I'm standing with his wife. He hates his life. Just let him have this. And I'm like what on earth is going on. So now I'm out of bed and I'm standing there thinking that I literally don't know any of these people. I look at him laying there in our bed and I'm like you may be cool with it, but I'm most definitely

not cool with this. So if you still want to be cool with me, you need to make this right and you need to tell Scott and Janelle that they need to get their shit together and come clean with everyone or decide to leave their spouses if they're so dang unhappy. And then I get up and go to our little son and go downstairs to make us breakfast. My husband doesn't say anything else, he doesn't come downstairs, he just goes to bed. I'm trying to enjoy some playtime with our son, but in my head I'm like how did all of this just unfold like this? How could Janelle do this to me? Not that she owed me anything,

but like I feel like I really put my neck out there and got her hired with my dad's company when she couldn't find a job elsewhere. The industry was really saturated at the time. I don't like pulling the my dad owns a company card. I don't like being that person, but she practically begged me to help her out because, at the time, her husband had been laid off and wasn't working, she had just finished school and they had a one-year-old, and yeah, I just felt bad, and she was a friend. So I couldn't let them suffer like that. I would have wanted someone to help me if they were able. So I end up texting Janelle around lunchtime and I'm asking if she got home okay. And she says, yes. Thank you for such a great night.

I hope you had fun. And I was like, dude, what was that with Scott? And then I see her typing something out, but then she stops typing. And I sort of wait for her to say something and then I get nothing. Then about a half hour later, she calls me and she's like, hey, I thought you were cool with all of this? Scott said that Greg, my husband, told you. I'm like, no, he didn't and no I'm not cool with this. How could you do this to Dylan, her husband?

She's like everyone has their secrets, op, don't pretend like you don't have any. And I'm like WTF, is that supposed to mean? And she's like there's a lot you don't know, up. If you say anything to Dylan, you're going to open up one ugly can of worms. And then I'm like Janelle, WTF? And she's like for real. Mind your own business. I thought you were cool, I thought we were friends.

Now I know who my true friends are. And she hangs up on me. I'm literally standing in my kitchen like what the F. Did that really just happen? Also, she has no idea who she's messing with. And I text her and I'm like you seem to forget who had your back when you were at your lowest. But if you really want to go there, we can. Okay, so then I go upstairs and wake up Greg and tell him the conversation that I just had with Janelle.

I'm like WTF does she mean by this? and he gets sort of grumpy and mad at me for waking him up and he's like, why are we even having this conversation right now? I told you to leave it alone and now you've just pissed her off and then he looks at his phone and sees that both Scott and Janelle have left him voicemails and text messages. And he's like, great, they're probably both livid. And then he gets up and he's like, damn it, op, why couldn't you have just left it alone? And I said because it's the right thing to do.

If she's lying to me about this then what else could you? could she be lying and hiding from me? And he's like, just leave it to me, I'll give them a call and calm them down, and I'm like we shouldn't even be having anything to do with these people. And he's like, these people are our friends, and I'm like, how can we associate with people who do this to their loved ones and make us lie for them and hide the truth from people? And he goes, I'll talk to the both of them and get this all taken care of, just don't talk to either of them anymore and stay out of it.

Am I overreacting? Should I tell their spouses? What should I do? Update 1, hi, I'm back. Not too long after my first post I go NC with both Scott and Janelle. I delete them both off social media. And I tell Greg to not have anything to do with them and he says sure at first. But then legit a week later he says he's going out for beers at the local pub here with some buddies to watch the game and I'm like OK who's going to be there and he names off some guys and then also mention Scott and I'm like Kay while we already agreed that you.

weren't going to see Scott again and he goes, How am I going to stop seeing him when we have mutual friends that we've bone grown up with? And I'm like ick. Tell the truth and out him to everyone and he's like most of the other guys know they just don't have an issue with it like you do and I'm like, wow. Don't bother coming home tonight. And then we get in a big fight and he packs an overnight bag and leaves. Well, he texts me about two hours later and he's apologizing and telling me that he realizes just how bad Scott really is and he doesn't want something like this getting in the way of our relationship.

So I'm just about to apologize too, but I'm also on Snapchat and I go on to the location settings. I see that Greg is still sharing his location and it's live. But it's not at the local pub. It's at Scott's house. Then I call Greg and he doesn't pick up and he says sorry, hon, it's really loud in here with them game and I'm like I know you're at Scots and then he calls me but I don't answer. Then I text him and tell him that he can stay at Scott. and I tell him he's no better than is cheating at SS.

So that's where we're at. Update 2, I'm back. Greg is still at Scots. I can see his location still there. It had only been two days. But the weird thing was that Greg hasn't tried to reach out to me after that text I sent him you're no better than Scott's cheating at SS. He hasn't even tried to call me.

So naturally this enraged me. I was so pissed off that I had to be. hadn't heard from him and that he hadn't even attempted to try to fix things that I ended up texting Janelle's husband and telling him everything. He texted me back right away and said, thank you, op, and that was sort of it. But then that same night, I get a text from Janelle and it's simply just a screenshot of him talking to her and Scott in a group chat and they're talking explicitly with each other about what they plan on doing to Janelle. And this was dated four months ago. I literally dropped my phone. Then more screenshots come through and it's the

same sort of thing but two months ago. And then more that happened just recently. Then she sends me a text and says now I'm spilling his secrets, bitch. So I fucking saved all those screenshots and sent them to him and told him we are over. So fucking over. I knew it was fishy of him to defend them like that and try to take care of it and stay out of it what a cheating lying at SS son of a bitch. Then he tries calling me but I'm already on the phone with my mom and dad and I'm telling them what happened and my dad's like I know exactly what to do. So within the coming weeks, he starts an investigation with Janelle and gets her written up for things that she's been fucking up at work. Apparently she's also been lying on her time

sheet so that's huge. People have been saying that they're having problems with her for quite some time but he didn't want to say anything to me because he thought we were best friends. So for quite some time he's been protecting her at work too. But now I'm like no dad kick that bitch to the curb. He also gave me the name of a client friend of his who's a lawyer and we're starting the process up with that now. As for Scott, I have his wife on Instagram and sent her the screenshots that Janelle sent me and apologize that she has to find out this way. I set them here for her if she needs. Update 3. I had my dad's serve Greg divorced papers and my dad said he tore them apart in front of him. I also changed the locks in the house and changed the

passcodes to the garage door. Greg tried to come by once and freaked out calling me after he realized he couldn't get in. I also called his parents and sent them the same screenshots. They are totally on my side and not speaking to him. He's been totally cut off by everybody except his loser friends who think it's okay to lie and cheat. I also heard that he had a big fuck up at work and it cost the company a ton of money. So there's that. I checked in to see his location from time to time just for curiosity's sake. He's been staying at Scots. That's in poor taste. Also, Janelle has been let go. I'm just trying to enjoy life with our little boy. I've gone for full custody and alimony. I've also been brainstorming starting up my own business.

But I'm honestly just trying to take it slow. I'm just trying to get as much cuddles in with my son as I can and get through all of this and just do my own thing and hang around people that want to do good and be good. Now on to the next story. Story two. Caught my wife cheating but I still gave her a second chance, but she lied to her parents about the reason for our divorce. So I told them the truth and they kicked her out. My now ex-wife, 35, and I, 35 male, were together for nine years with one of them being spent as a married couple. The two of us didn't have kids, but we had two dogs that we loved to pieces. One of them was disabled so they required a little bit more care than the other, but that didn't matter to me. We had our fights and issues over the

years, but it was nothing it didn't seem like we could work on. I foolishly believe that our issues were something that could be fixed. I went as far as to suggest counseling to which my ex-wife agreed. However, to successfully do couples counseling, both people have to be willing to work with the therapist. I was more than willing to work with the therapist and was up front about my issues. Most of the time she would just let me talk. A few times my ex-wife didn't even show up so I was left there, sitting awkwardly with the therapist who felt bad for me. Despite this, I wasn't willing to give up. Then I discovered she was cheating on me and it was like a huge wake-up call. It was a complete accident that I discovered it.

She said she was going to hang out with a friend for the day, so I spent the day doing some chores. This included going to the grocery store to grab some things for dinner. When I was there, I ended up bumping into the actual friend she was supposed to be out with. I asked the friend where my wife was. Her friend seemed confused so right then I knew something was up. Why would she lie about hanging out with a friend that she wasn't hanging out with? It was hard to do the grocery shopping when my mind was focused on where my wife was, but I managed to do it. When I got home, I waited for my wife to come home.

She came in the door, greeting me like nothing was wrong. I confronted her right away because I couldn't wait to talk about this situation. When I told her I ran into her friend, her face paled. She said she made a mistake, but I didn't buy it. I pushed and pushed. Eventually, my ex-wife told me that she was sexting with this guy she met online. This had been going on for nearly the entire time we were married, which devastated me. That night was the first time they met.

How romantic, I sneered. Normally, it wasn't like me to be sarcastic, but I was hurt and just so angry. Here I was trying to work on this relationship with my wife. I was even willing to go to counseling. Meanwhile, she is messing around with this guy. I looked back at all the time she was on the phone and laptop. It didn't seem odd to me before but now I realized how intense it was. Her first reaction was to beg me to give us another try.

We were best friends, she said. She couldn't live without me. When I pointed out that the two of us were already seeing a therapist, my wife said she was going to try this time. In an act of desperation, I gave her a second. chance. Then three days later I caught her talking with the guy. She said they were just friends and it was difficult to cut off a friendship. My wife claimed they had to tape her off slowly. It was at that point I knew my marriage and entire relationship was over. I told her that under no circumstances would I give her another chance. The moment I said that it was like a flip switch. My wife told me fine and

moved out. She ended up staying with her parents. We rented a house so at least we didn't have to deal with that. I was grateful she was just quick to move out and not put up a fight. Our dogs were confused at first and desperately missed her. I did my best to help them transition to the new environment. Pets can be like people in certain ways. They get separation anxiety and react to sudden changes as much as we do. Once she was out, I kept trying to get her to take the rest of her stuff out of the house. I didn't want to look at it anymore. After weeks of badgering her, I got sick of waiting, put the boxes in the back of my car, and went to her parents' house. I had no animosity towards her parents. They always treated me nice, so while they

were surprised to see me, they seemed happy. Her mom said she was sorry for the divorce and said sometimes people just fall out of love. This confused me so I asked my former mother-in-law what my ex-wife had said was the reason for the divorce. My ex left out the cheating bit so I felt it was my duty to tell her parents the unabashed truth. They seemed shocked so I offered to give them evidence if they didn't believe me. No part of me felt bad for telling them the truth. My ex should have been up front with them. They were good people but figured they would support their daughter despite this because it was their daughter. Oh, how wrong I was. I ended up discovering through mutual friends that my former in-laws confronted my ex about what I said.

She denied it, but when they said I offered to show them proof, she admitted that she did step outside the marriage. Her parents then told my ex that she had 30 days to find a new place. At the end of those 30 days, she would have to get out regardless if she found other accommodation. My former mother-in-law did reach out to me to apologize, saying they didn't raise their daughter to have terrible morals like that. I accepted the apology even though it wasn't

their fault. How were they to know what their daughter would do as an adult? I got quite a few angry and explicit texts from my ex-ex after her parents kicked her out. She told me that she could be homeless and shamelessly demanded that I let her stay in our old apartment, at least until she got on her feet. My response was to tell my ex to go stay with her app. If he cared about her so much, then surely he'd let her stay. I blocked any possible numbers she could contact me from and started the next phase of my life. Trying to heal from this relationship was by far the most difficult thing I had ever tried to do. I had my family and friends beside me but they could only do so much because unless you've been through this situation, it was hard to relate. However, spending time

with those who care about me, going to therapy for just myself, and just taking one day out of the week to take a walk or something proven to help. I still am in the middle of the healing process, but I know I've come a hell of a long way since first discovering her affair. As far as I know, my ex still isn't talking to her parents and is couch surfing until she can officially move into her new apartment. There are times she still tries to reach out to contact me, but outside of official channels regarding our divorce, we have no reason to talk. Let the app have my ex.

He may think he has won the ultimate prize but this couldn't be further from the truth. My ex is about as far from a prize as you. can get. I hope you enjoy this story. Employed at my father's business and rose to the position of chief executive officer but had to terminate my own sibling when he continued to vanish unexpectedly and abandoned our employees on crucial state assignments. At the moment, I work for my father and my younger brother is also in the business.

We're a construction firm. I've worked at the company since I was 14, doing office work over the summers all the way through college. After getting my degree and working elsewhere for seven years, I came back to the family business and for nearly ten years have been working my way into more and more of a leadership role. My dad is my boss, but he is not a good delegator, manager, or mentor. He is a great project manager and knows the industry like the back of his hand and is good at his job, but very much not a teacher or long-term planner. On paper and sort of by actions, I am his air apparent. But in reality I'm just being given a little bit of everything without any

ownership over anything, and it's overwhelming. I am now a point on some aspect of almost every part of the company, IT, HR, management, accounting, office management, marketing, and on top of that I keep getting construction projects to manage. I started here as a project manager, and note that none of our other PMs have any other office admin responsibilities, just me. I keep trying to get out of project management because it's hard to prioritize employee reviews or revamping the website when you're constantly pulled into project issues, which by definition need to take priority because they pay the mortgage. But every time I'm close to finishing out my last project, a really great prospect comes up and we don't have the staff to handle it. So I end up taking it on and I'm back on the hook for another 9 to 12 months of PM work taking 50% of my time. Every time we've tried to make a plan for me to take over a specific part of my father's role or our CFO's role, it just doesn't happen.

They can't actually let go. Meanwhile, I'm just getting all the mundane stuff put on my plate, like ordering more laptops or figuring out how to run certain reports in our accounting software. These tasks don't interest me. I want to be big picture, I want to be strategic. We just had a strategic planning retreat two months ago, which I organized, pulled together the data and agenda for, and facilitated, all of which I really enjoyed. During that retreat, the decision was made that I would go get some financial training and move towards CFO and out of project management. Last week we landed a new 12 to 15 month project, and guess who is now the PM? We just hired a new PM, guess who is supposed to be training and mentoring him, though I'm a new

not his manager, that's still my dad. I'm so burnt out from the pandemic and trying to figure out how to do my job, what my job even is, and what any sort of pathway towards a job here that I like looks like that I've been pretty checked out for the last two months. Yesterday my dad confronted me about that. He asked, have you decided that construction isn't for you? It hurt, and I kind of tried to explain everything above, but I'm really close to just saying, Yeah, construction isn't for me, I'm out and blowing up the last 10 years worth of a career I've been trying to build here. It would be so much simpler to be out.

But I have a lot of pride in this place, it's basically another family member, and I love that it's an ethical company that supports real careers and puts its employees first. But I haven't been happy here for a while. I loved putting together and running that strategic retreat, but now all that work feels like a waste of time, because we aren't doing anything with it, I feel so stuck, and can't see any way out besides just blowing it up. My relationship with my father and brother would be fine if I left. They would understand. The company would figure it out. Or it wouldn't and my dad would have to sell. I don't know, at some point it's still just a business, not actually a member of the family,

right? I know I have skills that would make this place better, but I feel like they are are atrophying after years and years of banging my head against a wall and not getting any sort of direction or plan or mentorship from anyone here and feeling like all my efforts to develop my role here are just me flailing about. My passion for this place is gone. Maybe that's just post-pendemic blues. But I do know I would feel so free if I hit the eject button. I could go back to school, I could find work slash volunteer for causes I care about, I could be a more present mom and spouse if I didn't work here. Maybe that's the right path to separate family and work, and just let the chips fall where they may. Note that my spouse also has a full-on career working

60 hours a week for one of the tech giants, so balancing work and family is really hard with both of us having career-type jobs and small kids. And while my income is great to have, it's not necessary for our financial stability. The same would not be true if we lost my spouse's income. Any advice would be much appreciated. Update 1, a lot has changed, and a lot has not. Ultimately, I'm still with the family construction business and I suspect I will be for the rest of my career. Two things really hit me after my letter was published. The first being that I didn't really spell out what I like about my job, which you called me out on.

So I gave that some thought. On good days, I love my job because I get to problem solve, either internal. or on a project. Often I'm working to understand processes, figure out next steps, facilitate communication and find solutions, and every day is different and full of potential. I also love my company because we're the type of employer

I think all employers should strive to be. We hear, yes, to make money, but also to allow our employees to have a career that supports them in the unfolding of their lives. Just the other day one of our employees thanked me for this being a wonderful place to work, that has supported her though real health issues, and she said she was glad I was starting to take over the reins as the next generation because she knew I would continue to retain that culture of family.

Then just last night I attended an award ceremony where one of our projects was recognized for the historical restoration of a building that was falling apart. This award-winning building is in my neighborhood, it's a place where my family goes to hang out, where I now take my kids for the winter farmer's market. It's a building that will be part of my larger community for the next 50-plus years, and my company did that work. I feel real, deep satisfaction some days. I really like and respect both my father and my brother, who I work with daily. None of that came through in my letter, and it was really helpful to catalog all that good stuff

because afterwards the hard stuff I was focusing and wrote you about suddenly loomed less large. I also have to say thanks to all of the advice that came from the Commentariat that really helped me look at my situation differently, specifically I was really taken aback by their accusations of sexism towards my father. I found myself pretty insulted on his behalf, because he is the person who has steadfastly been my champion. We've had blunt conversations about the dearth of women in construction and why, and he sees what this industry is like and doesn't think it should be like this. He wants capable people in places of leadership, including capable women. He believes I have the skills and ability do it. We just haven't been able to figure out how to get me there slash get him to let go. Ultimately the comments made me realize I was doing a lot of this to myself.

I was taking on the HR stuff, I was volunteering to pick up the 401k administration, order the laptops, fix the website, move into the financial side of the company. Long story short, I had to ask if I was being the sexist one by taking on all the administrative tasks that needed doing, when they didn't feel like actual moves upwards. I personally didn't need to own any of it, I just kept taking it on because someone needed to. Maybe it was internalized sexism or maybe it was just being bad at delegating, but I finally saw it, thanks to you all. So we've since hired a new office manager slash director of HR at my behest, an OMASED.

This person is worth their weight in gold, and now does, enjoys doing, and does well all of that administrative stuff I had taken on. The new PM who I mentioned in the letter has since started, and I'm training him which mean he's learning to PM the way I want him to, and has been a great addition to our team. And we've also since brought on a vice president of marketing and design, who is potentially going to be our interim CEO instead of me taking the reins directly from my father. This makes a lot of sense in many ways, not least because he has more experience in the industry and with working as an executive, but also because him taking responsibilities from my father is just less fraught. So, now I'm back to being mostly a project manager, which I enjoy and am good at, with flavors of being a manager.

I'm still a leader here, I'm on the board of directors and get to weigh in on decisions and what direction we head. People seek out my advice and ask me to address issues, and while the immediacy of taking over my father's role is gone, it's still very much the long-term plan, though the plan is more fuzzy than it was. It's on the to-do list, don't worry. In the near term, I need to focus on landing projects so we can pay these new hires that are doing the stuff I don't want to, which seems like a good trade-off to me. Overall, I'm really proud of the moves I had this company make over the last year, and specifically the last couple months the hires, the new projects, the changes in roles, and the leadership slash accountability structures I've put in place. I appreciate the perspective Allison and the commenters gave me, it helped me figure out a way through to the other side during a rough time.

Cheers and thanks so much. Update 2, I wrote you way back in 2021 when I was trying to decide whether or not to stay in the family business, and in 2024 I sent you my update. I've since stepped into the role of CEO, for better or worse, and am now facing an ongoing issue for the first time as the leader of this company. We have three family members who are part of the business now, my father, majority owner and president, myself, CEO, minority owner, and my brother, VP, minority owner. My brother and I have the same ownership stake and the idea was that the company will transition to us and we will be equal business partners.

But my brother is undependable. My guess is that he has depression, anxiety, or some type of mental health issue that he has never addressed, and it means he's often mildly unreliable and then every once in a while he drops the ball in a spectacular fashion that leaves other people to clean up his mess. We've had conversations about this on a number of occasions over the past. past decade. But about three years ago, it really seemed like he was doing much better. He was showing up, answering his phone, responding to emails, doing his job well, and actively participating in executive planning. He said he wanted to be here with me to lead our family

business for the long term. And that felt wonderful. The idea of having a partner in this family business, where it can feel very high stakes and very lonely, was such a relief. My brother is smart and thoughtful, and I trust his judgment and views, which often differ from mine, which is great in a business partner. Shortly after that was when long-term plans for ownership were being put into place, and actual ownership stock started to change hands. I thought my brother and I were going to be a great team. But 18 months ago, there was an incident where he went uncommunicative for a week and left

a project manager in the lurch. We had to scramble to find a subcontractor to complete our our work. Eventually he showed up and said he wouldn't do it again. And then a year ago, he left on his honeymoon having completely failed to get a project with a hard deadline started, leaving me having to scramble to make apologies to city officials, track down materials, ask for extensions, and generally get really ticked off at my brother. Once he got back, I, in the presence of my father, told my brother that he needed to see a therapist or in some other way address his lack of dependability or I would not go into business with him. He agreed and said

he'd already talked to his doctor about getting a referral. Over the last year, I've asked a couple times if he's made any progress with getting help, but he's always said he was waiting on insurance or for an appointment, etc. Over the last month he's gotten shaky again, being less and less responsive. Then two days ago, I found out he was leaving the country the next day for two weeks. He never told me. I found out for my mother. We once again have a project left in the lurch, making other people scramble. He left one of our crew's short a member, he gave his guys only one work day of notice, and another employee is scheduling things that he should have scheduled. And I've come to discover that he's put off scheduling a kickoff meeting for another

project for the past three weeks, ignoring the emails from an angry PM for the state. How do I deal with this. I know I don't want to be in business with my brother under these circumstances. I said that last year, and I meant it, and I set a boundary. And here we are and it's time to enforce this boundary. I know all that, but I don't know what to actually do and what to actually ask for. My dad sees all this and is supportive of me. My brother has been doing this to my dad for nearly a decade, and I think my dad is even more fed up and upset than I am. My dad is also a bit of a hothead and a dictator. He wants to straight up fire my brother.

I don't know. Maybe that's best. But my brother has good qualities, good skills, and he is an owner and he is my brother. What about a PIP? A leave of absence? A change and roll, take him out of leadership. Or did that ship sail last year? Part of what is so hard is that I love him.

And he's falling apart at work because of very real, very challenging stuff in his personal life. The other part is, I lived the same childhood as my brother. We had an alcoholic mother and my parents went through a terribly messy divorce, and all that created issues around communication and confrontation and self-worth and shame for all of us, issues that I've worked hard to overcome through my own therapy and coaching. So I'm deeply empathetic to why my brother is the way he is. And I don't want to blow up my relationship with him or my sister-in-law. But I can't do it like this anymore.

And ultimately if we keep going like this, the relationship is already destroyed because I'm so frustrated and angry. And I could work with him, somehow, probably, if he would just communicate with me, if he had just told me he was going to be on vacation, that he had been ignoring these emails, that he was stalling out. But we've tried saying, please, for the love of everything, just communicate. For nearly a decade,

and nothing has changed. It's never really gotten better, except for that brief period three years ago. I've read through your archives, looking for family businesses hitting similar issues, and this and this really hit home. We're experiencing these issues,

the hit to morale and people talking about leaving based on family members being treated differently. So I know we need to change and I know there is no way to do it without this being sad and painful. Any advice you could offer to help me figure out some options to move forward that fall between keep doing what we're doing and getting the same result and fire him as soon as he steps off the airplane would be much appreciated. My brother gets back in two weeks and I need a game plan for what our conversation is going

to look like. Update 3, June 17, 2025. The news is all positive, but the path there was not without its challenges. So when I wrote in, my brother had gone out on vacation without giving any notice, again, leaving me and others in the lurch. Many commenters supposed he was entitled and spoiled, making big money for doing nothing, but this couldn't be further from the truth. We're a mid-sized family business.

All of us work very hard and everyone is paid a solid livelihood, including the family owners. But no one is making Fortune 500 money. And on the other side of the coin, all the same executive pressures exist. The responsibility to keep this place going, to make the right choices so we survive a recession, survive the competition, and survive the changes in technology and workforce and varying governmental requirements is intense. My brother was buckling under the stress of living up to everything, not least of which was being pulled between my father's expectations and the expectations of his wife, neither of which he could meet and neither of whom he could figure out how to talk to about the reality of what he could and couldn't do. Then go ahead and add the pressure of a very successful older sister, who is his boss, to the mix.

Simply put, he was freezing up and stalling out in the face of all that conflict. This is the thing about family-bigibility. that nothing and no one can really prepare you for. People tell you to compartmentalize. They tell you to separate business from family. They tell you to not let the two worlds mix. But the reality is that you are sitting there, at all times, being both a daughter and a manager, a sister and a colleague, a parent and a boss, a child and a subordinate. There is no separating, no putting on different hats, no being two different people inside yourself. You're just one person, and there actually is no way to keep your family history from impacting your reactions to the other person, and no way to endure one way you have to relate to

someone from impacting the other way you relate to them. When it's good, it's really good. But when it's hard, it's everything that is hard about family combined with everything that is hard about business, which is hard indeed. So the very hard choice I made was to decide that I had to do what was best for the company, for the sake of myself and all my colleagues, and to let go of the rest. I had to be okay with losing my relationship with my brother for the sake of the business. When my brother returned from his trip, I put him on unpaid leave and told him that if he wanted

to rejoin the family business he would need to come back to a labor-slash-field-only position without any authority. My brother is actually very talented and skilled in many ways, just not as a project manager, so keeping his skills in our workforce was in the best interest of the company and I told him so. But I fired my brother and told him he would have to reapply for a new position because his old position no longer existed. Then, as his sister, I told him I loved him. I told him I would be happy to help him financially while he was out of work.

I told him I would be happy to help him find a therapist. and I would be happy to support him and his family in any way they needed during this time, just not through the company. I tried to be there for him, even as I was the one firing him. And he was never upset with me. He saw all of it. He knew he had let everyone down. He knew why I was doing what I was doing.

He left the office that day feeling even more awful and more horribly guilty about the whole situation. It took him about six weeks of the same. of not working, of dealing with the implications of what was happening, of finally being honest with his wife about all of it, for him to come to terms with everything, but he did. He is now regularly seeing a therapist, ironically, my therapist, which is a good thing because she is great, and he is starting to deal with some of the baggage from our childhood. Eventually he did come back to work. Now, day to day he is just a mason, laying brick and block at the direction of others. He was on her hiatus for a while from his ownership duties, but he is now back on our executive team since

he is still an owner and an officer. Those meetings are after hours so they don't interfere with his field duties. It's still a little bit of a weird setup, because it's still family business. But he is doing his job well and he is much happier now that his role matches his capabilities and he's not constantly worried about dropping the ball or not meeting expectations. And so am I. I hope you enjoy this. story. Spouse traded our ancestral wedding band for designer purses, then had to repurchase it from the jeweler independently while she feigned remorse until she recognized. What I did? My soon-to-be ex-wife Leah, 26F, and I, 28M, have been married for six months after being together for two years.

A few days ago, I spoke to a lawyer and filed for divorce because she sold the wedding ring that I had proposed to her. It was a pretty expensive ring, it had a platinum band and was studded with diamonds, and it has been in my family for three generations. So it was a pretty big deal for me, and she knew for a fact that I wanted to keep it in the family since it's been an heirloom. Last week, when I noticed that her ring was missing, I asked her about it and she told me very casually that she had sold it so she could make a few luxury purchases since the ring was very old-fashioned to look at and wasn't really her style. With that money, she had bought a few handbags from luxury brands and other items of jewelry. She acted like it was no big deal when

she was telling me about it, but I obviously started freaking out at her because my mom and my grandma are still around, and if they found out, they would be very upset. So I started telling her that she needed to return all that stuff and buy that ring back because that was meant to be a family heirloom, she knew that, and I couldn't understand how she had made a huge mistake like this. But she clarified that it was not a mistake, she had done this on purpose, and she knew that I was going to start losing my mind, so she had her defense ready as well. Apparently, right from the day I had proposed, she hadn't really liked the ring but hadn't said anything about it because it belonged to my family. However, now that we are married, it technically belongs to her,

and she could do whatever she wanted with it, which is why she sold it, and I couldn't complain about it either. That was her defense, and she actually thought that it was airtight logic, but I didn't care. We got into a massive fight, we ended up screaming at each other, like never before, and I told her that I wanted that ring back at any cost, I didn't care what she had to do. And she told me that she was not returning anything, and if I wanted that ring back, I would have to buy it back from the buyer myself. I was so upset that I ended up packing a small bag and driving to a hotel in the suburbs where I currently am. She did not try to stop me, she didn't even look up as I was leaving and after that, she hasn't tried to contact me either. I waited for two days for her to reach out to me, and when she didn't, I spoke to my friends and they put me in touch with a good divorce attorney on the third day.

After speaking with the lawyer, I blocked her everywhere, and yesterday, after I received the divorce papers from the lawyer, I signed them and then I went back home during the day. I skipped work so I could go home when she wouldn't be around, went inside the house, and left the divorce papers on the coffee table and then, I started clearing out my stuff. Thankfully, I had a few friends who were willing to help me out. They helped me carry the heavier and bigger stuff, and are storing it at their places right now until I find another place for myself. By the time I was done, everything that belonged to me was gone and there was literally no trace of me anymore. Then I came back to the hotel, and in the evening, after six when Leah came back home from work, I started receiving phone calls

from her parents and texts saying that I couldn't do this, that I should just talk to her once and I need to unblock her because this is something very petty and I can't just end our marriage over something like this. But I didn't care, I blocked them as well, so she sent her friends after me. They started telling me that whatever I was doing was unreasonable, I was being petty and egoistic, and they also told me that apparently, right after I had left. Leah had already reached out to the jeweler that she had sold the ring to and was in the process of buying it back because she felt bad for it, but I couldn't even give her that much time. So they started making me out to be the bad guy here and now I feel like I might have overreacted,

and I've been feeling weird since last evening now. I'd offer filing for divorce because my wife sold the wedding ring that had been in my family for generations. forward slash forward slash edit nobody in my family has any idea about what is happening right now. I don't want them to worry, which is why I didn't tell them anything. My maternal grandmother is pretty old, that's who the ring originally belonged to since my grandfather proposed to her with it, and I don't want her to have a heart attack, which she will definitely have if I tell her that Leah sold the ring. It's very important to my family, and I myself have been speaking to the jeweler that Leah sold the ring to

for the past couple of days. She had provided me with the contact info while we were fighting, when she had told me that if I wanted the ring back so bad then I should just go buy it back myself. But I haven't been able to buy it back yet, since the jeweler is quoting a much higher price than he purchased it from Leah for and I'm trying to negotiate with him right now. However, I did ask him if Leah was also trying to buy the ring back, and he confirmed that she was also in the process of buying it back, and he had decided that he was going to return it to whoever came up with the money first. And in the meantime, if any other client was willing to pay a higher price than what he was quoting to us, then he would sell it to them instead. So he had to act

fast because the ring was on display at his store and he doesn't have any reservation policy as such, so he's not going to hold on to it if somebody offers more money. It's been very annoying to deal with him, but at the end of the day, he's a businessman, and I can't hold this against him because after all, it was Leah who sold him the ring and he paid good money for it, so it's all fair game for him. But I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I'm able to put together the money as soon as I can, or maybe he might lower the price that he's quoting, and I'll be able to buy it back. Only after that, will I be able to tell my family what is going on right now

because otherwise, things will just get very messy and I don't want them to panic. Update 1, so it's been four days since I first posted here. Thank you so much to everybody who commented on my post, it was all extremely helpful to know that I was doing the right thing because I had seriously started to doubt myself. Her friends had really gotten into my head, they had been very vehement about villainizing me here, but thankfully, I didn't take it to heart.

I blocked all her friends and all her family members, I don't want anything to do with any of them right now. Because of everything that has happened in the past few days, it's really been screwing with my head. Leah and I have been together for a few years, and I never imagined something like this ever happening. She's always been a bit materialistic, that's something I'll have to accept, but I never thought that she would go to this extent. And then, for her to pretend like she hadn't even done anything wrong, that's what really caught me off guard. Because it's not like we haven't had fights before, of course we had, like any of the same. other couple, but this one was different. I saw a different side of her, and that's why I decided

to get a divorce because just six months into our marriage, she thought that she could treat me like this, then she's wrong. She cannot walk all over me and expect me to stay. And the thing about the ring, it might seem like a small thing to everyone else, but for me and my family, it's a huge deal. It's not like she didn't know that. I had mentioned in my original post as well, that she She knew very well that I intended for the ring to be a family heirloom. You don't just sell a family heirloom and then pretend like it's completely fine because technically it belongs to you now. And I wish I could say all this to her family and her friends, who were so bent on making

me out to be the bad guy, but I don't think it's worth the trouble. She herself hasn't made any attempt to contact me herself, which is weird, given how desperate she seems. I know for a fact that she has a burner account on social media. and I haven't blocked that one, but she hasn't sent me any texts from there. So I guess it's not really her trying to get back with me, it's just her trying to make me feel like I'm the bad guy here because I filed for divorce. At least that's how the situation looks right now, I'm really not sure of anything at the moment.

Anyway, coming to the ring and the jeweler guy, I've been in touch with him and he has told me that Leah hasn't been responding to his messages for the past two days. So maybe she's backed off, I don't know. what's going on with her. But I told him that I was willing to buy the ring back at the price that he was quoting because at this point, I was just desperate to get it back by hook or by crook. So he agreed, and tomorrow, I'm going to go to his store, write him a check, and get my ring back. And then, I'm finally going to tell my family about what's been going on with me and Leah. because I think it's time that they find out, they still have no idea and my mom has been asking me why neither of us is at home, and why Leah is not answering her phone calls.

I didn't know that Leah had moved out as well, I'm assuming that she's left to stay with her parents or maybe her friends, it doesn't matter, but I guess it's finally over. Because moving out of the house, it seems pretty final. So I think I can expect to hear back from her lawyer in a couple of days, and then we can go ahead with the divorce. I just have a gut feeling that she is not going to contest it, and I really hope that she doesn't. Because I feel like I've been fair enough in my terms of the divorce and she shouldn't feel the need to ask for anything else. Anyway, I'm going to find out soon and I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that now, things work out well for me. Because I'm already losing out a lot of money and buying back the ring, I don't want to spend a fortune on a lawyer fighting a long-drawn divorce as well. I just hope that things go well beyond this point. I don't know what else to say anymore.

Update 2. Okay, so today, I finally went to the jeweler's store, wrote him a check, and bought back the ring. The guy seems to be pretty interested in a situation that I'm in. He was very talkative and seemed to be a bit of a gossip, so he told me that he had never been in a situation like this before and found it very interesting. He also told me that Leah had blocked him all of a sudden, and I think that's very interesting, given how her friends were trying to make it seem like she was feeling so bad about the fight that she was genuinely trying to buy the ring back. But I guess, as soon as she realized that I was not going to be coming back, she stopped trying. So it was just for show, after all, she doesn't really care about any of this and only cares about coming off looking better in this situation.

That just confirms whatever I already believed, so I'm not surprised. After visiting the jeweler, I decided to speak to my family and finally ripped the band-aid off, because I was sick of hiding things from them. And now that I had the ring, they wouldn't have to worry about that either. So I drove to my mom's house and sat my parents out, put my grandma on FaceTime, and explained the entire situation to them. Everyone was shocked that Leah had done something like this, because she comes off as a very sweet person, and nobody had expected her to pull off something like this. My grandma was glad that I had managed to get the ring back, but she told me that after everything that had happened, it didn't seem fair that I had to buy my own ring back, and she told me that during the divorce, I should make Leah pay for it.

I told her that I would think about it, but honestly, I know that that's not going to work. It would only lead to a long, drawn battle and negotiation after negotiation, which is really the last thing that I wanted. These things can get drawn out, and I really don't have the kind of energy or money to keep spending on lawyers. I didn't say it to her, but in a situation like this, there is not much that I could do except just admit defeat. It sounds bad, but really, it's the more practical thing to do because it's not like we had a written agreement or anything. It would be hard to prove anything. These are just social conventions and not hard and fast laws or rules. So going after this legally would be pretty much pointless unless I can afford the best lawyers in town.

And my parents understood that, so they didn't press it further afterward. But after we disconnected the FaceTime call with my grandma, they told me that they were really disappointed in how the situation with Leah had turned out to be. because they had really liked her all along. They had never had any issues with her. She a haughty way's been such a great daughter-in-law. And when we got married, my parents were the happiest they could have been because Leah fit in with our family so perfectly.

She was like the missing piece in a jigsaw puzzle. And now, not even a year into our marriage, we were already getting divorced. I ended up crying while they were talking to me, and they had to comfort me because so far, I haven't allowed myself to break down or to process any of the emotions that I have been feeling. But today, I just couldn't hold back, hearing my parents talk about Leah and how upset they were about this situation. It just made me feel so bad about what I was going through. And they were right, not even a year into our marriage, we were already getting divorced. I wouldn't have ever been able to imagine anything of the sort happening a few months back, or even a few weeks back.

But now, this is happening, and there's not much that I can do about it. The worst part is that I know for a fact that she doesn't even think that she's done anything worth getting divorced over, that's why she sent her family and friends after me, to try and make me feel bad and guilt trip me into coming back. The whole talking to the jeweler thing was all just for show, she just wanted to make it seem like she felt bad, but she probably didn't. She doesn't even realize how big of a deal this was for me, and she really thinks that I'm overreacting, and that's what sucks the most. But I did feel lighter after talking to my parents

today, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. They told me that they were proud of me for standing up for myself and for my family, and not allowing anybody to walk all over me, even if I did love that person. And that's all the reassurance that I need, that at least my parents think that I'm doing the right thing and that I'm not overreacting at all. If something hurts me, it hurts me, I can't help it. And if she doesn't care that she hurts me, then maybe it's good for us to get out of this marriage while we are ahead of ourselves. So now, I'm just waiting for her to respond to my divorce petition, and I just hope that she doesn't contest anything, since that's really the last thing that I need to go wrong right now. She has given me enough

trouble, I don't want anymore. Update 3. So it's been a couple of days since my last update, and I've been busy with stuff. I had missed a few days of work, so I had to make up for last time and I had to work overtime because given my current situation, I couldn't afford to annoy my employers. And in my free time,

instead of relaxing, I was looking for apartments near my workplace because I don't think it's feasible for me to be staying at this hotel any longer. Thankfully, I've been able to finalize a place with a reasonable rent agreement, and I'm moving into my new apartment next week. Naturally, the more practical aspects of my life had been keeping me very busy, so I didn't have

time to keep thinking about Leah and everything that was going wrong with her. In a way, it was a good thing because it kept me distracted, but then, last evening, she called me up. It was from a number I didn't have saved on my phone, so I instinctively picked up, and when I heard her on the other end, I didn't know whether I should stay online or if I should hang up, so I ended up just staying. I didn't say anything, I just stayed silent throughout the entire phone call and she didn't apologize or anything. She just told me that she really wanted to talk to me one last time, even though she knew

that she had no right to ask that of me. But she still wanted me to meet her so she could deliver the signed divorce papers to me in person and just have one last conversation with me, so she could clear things out. Even then, when I didn't say anything, she just told me that she would be waiting at home in the afternoon, and then hung up. And for the rest of the evening, I was very conflicted about what to do. But this morning, I decided that I would finally go over because even if I didn't want to talk to her, I thought that it would be a good idea to at least get the divorce papers in person. And part of me was curious as to what she had to clear out with me, so I went home and by then,

the place had pretty much been cleared out. Only the furniture remained, but the house had come pre-furnished, so that's obviously going to stay and we are going to end the lease agreement by the end of this month. Anyway, after handing over the papers to me, she also handed over a check. I was very confused, but then I saw the amount, and it was a pretty significant sum, and she explained that she had returned all the stuff that she had bought with the money from the sale of the ring, and now, since we were no longer going to be together. She thought that it would be better for her to return the money to me. It was a few things. It was a few thousand less than what I had paid to the jeweler to buy my ring back, so I told her about that

and she told me that whatever amount I had to pay, she would cover the rest of me in installments over the next few months, but right now. This is all that she can afford to give me. I was fine with that, because honestly, at least I got some of it back, whereas I had expected that I would lose out on all the money that I had spent on buying the ring back. It felt a little awkward, but I did, thank her, and that's when she finally apologized to me. She had already started tearing up, and she told me that she had never intended for things to go so wrong, but it was clearly too late to fix anything now so, maybe it was better for us to just let each other go. I didn't know what to say back, so I just stood there awkwardly silent,

while she went on speaking. She told me that she had been feeling awful about everything for the past couple of weeks, ever since I had left home, and even though her family and friends were all on her side, she couldn't bring herself to think that she had done the right thing and that I had overreacted. Somewhere deep down, she knew that I was right and this was a huge mistake that she had made. She told me that at several points, she wanted to reach out to me, but I had already blocked her, and she was afraid that if she did reach out to me, then I would maybe reject her and she wouldn't be able to take that. So that's why she just stayed away and she also said that she knows I deserve better, which is why she thinks it's better for us to get divorced. By then,

she was crying, but she still got done with her speech somehow, and then, she walked away without waiting for a response from me. I was kind of in shock, so I just stood there in the living room for a couple of minutes after she left, and I sat on the couch and just tried to make sense of everything for about half an hour after I heard her car drive away. I ended up crying as well, and then I finally left and came back to the hotel. I'm going to go to the bank tomorrow to cash and the check and I've already spoken to my lawyer about the papers, and since there's nothing else to be discussed, we just have to wait for the waiting period to elapse and then, will be officially divorced. I thought that this would feel a lot better than it does right now, but I guess with I'll move

on. For now, though, it's going to hurt, and I'm going to let it hurt because there's really nothing else that I can do about it right now. Update 4. So I cashed the check today at the bank, and it felt very freeing for some reason. Leah and I haven't spoken in the past few days, after our last interaction at the house, and I feel like I'm letting things go now. Because holding on to that anger, and that hurt is not going to do me any good, and I just want to forget about that whole episode and move on with my life. I've already moved out of the hotel and into my apartment, and thanks to my friends, I've been able to set everything up pretty quickly. I'm very grateful that I have such supportive friends, they have been checking in on me every

few days, as frequently as they can, and I'm also very grateful for my parents who have also been there for me emotionally I don't think I would have been able to deal with this the way that I am right now had it not been for them. And it's not like I don't miss Leah or that I don't feel bad about anything that has happened, of course, I do, but I can't let that get in the way of my life because the world is not going to stop for me and wait for me to process my feelings. I'm still going to have to work, I'm still going to have to keep up with the bills and everything, I'm still going to have to do everything that I'm required to do. And for me to be able to keep up, the kind of emotional support that I have received from everyone was very necessary,

so I'm really happy that I have such a good support system around me. In a few weeks, my divorce will also be finalized, and after that, I'll be done with all the legal stuff. I'm thinking of going on a holiday or doing something a little adventurous and spontaneous to get my mind off of things, because I really think I need a change of pace right now. I've been speaking to a couple of friends, and they seem excited about the idea of traveling together, so maybe I'll take them up on that. By now, pretty much everybody knows that Leah and I are not together anymore, thanks to her social media post.

I'm not a big social media guy, so I didn't post anything or make any announcements, but did put out a statement and a lot of our common friends did reach out to me. Some of them just wanted to tell me that it gets better and some of them only wanted to gossip but at least everybody knows now, so I don't have to explain anything to anyone, so I'm grateful for that at least. Anyway, that being said, I'm just looking forward to moving on now. Update 5 Hey, everyone

So my divorce was finalized earlier this week and once again, Leah called me from that number that she had used earlier to apologize once again, this time, instead of just staying silent. I told her that I wish things could have worked out between us but it is what it is, and I wish her nothing but the best for the future. She thanked me, and then she hung up and that was that. It hurts, but I guess this is as close as we, are going to get to getting some sense of closure. Now, I'm actively trying to move on with my life,

and as I had said in my last update, I'm about to go on a trip with a couple of my friends in a few days and I'm really excited about that. I've been looking forward to it for weeks and it's finally happening, and it really feels like I'm starting a new chapter of my life, which is pretty exciting. Of course I'm still not over the chapter that I've left behind, but I can't go back, the only way to move now is forwards and I'm hoping that this trip does its job well. That being said, I don't think I'll be posting here anytime soon, so I just want to take out a moment and thank everybody who commented on my posts, supported me, and even reached out to me. It's really nice of you guys, and given the fact that you guys are literally strangers to me

and even then, people cared about my situation, it's really heartwarming. So thank you for all of that, I mean it. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse traveled to England for a marriage celebration. I received a message from an unfamiliar individual containing images of her jewelry discovered in the pocket of a different man. Presently, she is relocating there indefinitely and leaving our children behind. Hello everyone. I, am 47, have a comfortable and fulfilling life.

I have a job I truly enjoy, I live in a nice, suburb, and am blessed with three wonderful children, M8, F6, F4, and a lovely wife, Emily, 45. I've always felt Emily and I were an ideal match. However, a recent email I received has deeply unsettled me and planted a seed of doubt in my mind. Emily lived in the UK between 2010 and 2015, during which time she pursued a PhD. Because she lived there so long, she developed many close friendships and has made it a point to return every couple of years to maintain those ties. This past August, she traveled to the UK for three weeks to attend the wedding of one of her close friends. After some consideration, we agreed that it would be best for me and the children to

remain at home, as I could not take that much time away from work, and the children were unlikely to find much enjoyment in such an event. Emily departed, returned as expected, and life returned to normal for us. Last week, I received an email on my work email address. It was supposedly from the wife of Emily's friend, I'll call him Jake, M44. According to this woman, she has a very strong reason to suspect that Jake and Emily engaged in an affair. She listed off her suspicions, noting Jake had picked Emily up from the airport, spent considerable time at her hotel, and how the two of them frequently went out to dinner alone. She even included. She even included pictures of my wife's earrings that she said she found in Jake's pockets when she was doing the

laundry and pictures of a lipstick stain on a shirt. The color is one I recognize as something Emily often wears. There is some other evidence she listed off. For the sake of conceiteness I will not include them here. All this was a lot to absorb, and for a while, I thought it was some sort of joke, so I tried my best to ignore it, but it kept coming back into my mind. I remember that before her trip, my wife would talk to all her friends there. I don't know if this email is influencing my memory, but I think she probably spoke with Jake the most. Additionally, I know Emily never liked Jake's wife, though I can't say why. I've never pried into Emily's phone or social media accounts before, but I feel very tempted to now. However, I know I'd feel

terrible if I looked and found nothing. Also, if I start acting suspicious, wouldn't she just delete everything out of fear of being found out? I am unsure of how to move forward and would welcome any guidance on handling this. The best I can currently come up with is asking to see her phone immediately after confronting her about it so as to not give her no time to delete anything, though part of me thinks this would upset her and potentially not even show anything. Edit, I forgot to include, my wife no longer has these earrings. She wasn't wearing them when she returned and when I asked, she said she lost them. Comments were op has replied.

Commenter one, info, the other evidence bears listing. Best to have all the facts as you understand them, concision aside. Oop, it isn't as solid as the other stuff she shared which is why I decided to leave it out. But the other evidence is as follows. She said that every day Emily was there, Jake would either go see her or talk on the phone with her. She also said that whenever Jake was on the phone with Emily, he'd quickly hang up or leave the room if he noticed her. She mentioned they seemed to not even hide how much physical contact they'd have as they'd always find an excuse to touch each other. They'd reminisce about old times a lot.

She even said the way they would look at each other. Commenter to, NTA and show your wife the evening. from this person and ask the question. Oop, I guess I will, here's hoping it turns out to be nothing. Update 1, October 18th, 2024. A few hours after sharing my first post, I confronted Emily, she confirmed my fears. She claims she's in love with Jake and can't live a lie any longer. She still claims to love me and the kids but says she can't stay with us any longer.

According to her, she was waiting for a lie any longer. a better time to tell me and the children. Apparently, this has been going on since March, with Jake flying out here occasionally and Emily secretly meeting him. We're getting divorced. Emily is moving to the UK soon. She confirmed that in August, in addition to the wedding, she attended a job interview, and she's set to start around the new year. She's already applied for a British visa. She plans to live with Jake once she moves. As for custody, Emily is voluntarily surrendering her chance of full custody. She doesn't want to uproot the kids, so they'll stay here in Canada with me. There's a part of me that appreciates that decision, but there's also the

part that is astonished at how easily she's walking away. She wants to pay child support, but I'd rather raise my children without her financial influence. That said, the court will likely insist on support, regardless of my feelings. Emily is also seeking structured visitation rights, which, given the circumstances, will likely be granted. Based on what I've been told, the court generally leans toward arrangements that allow both parents to maintain relationships with the children, even when one is relocating to a different country. The lawyers are still working out the details, but it seems she'll have visitation during school breaks and holidays, with the possibility of virtual calls in between.

I've been keeping things as amicable as possible, and the more cooperative I am, the more Emily seems to agree with my demands. We are also discussing the future of our home. Emily has expressed a desire to sell the property and divide the proceeds. While I am reluctant to part with a family home, it is unlikely I have much of a choice since it was bought during our marriage. For now, our lawyers are still working through the detail. and no final decisions have been made. Given the situation, it could be a good while before we

reach a resolution. In the meantime, I've been advised not to make any major financial moves. As much as I want to stay here with the children, I know selling is most likely inevitable. As of this writing, Emily is in an Airbnb and Jake has flown here to stay with her. They plan on traveling to the UK at some point in the near future. My lawyer tells us, me that adultery isn't grounds for special treatment when it comes to custody or property division. Therefore, it won't influence how assets are divided unless marital funds are directly involved. Emily likely used money from her personal account. Unless it can be proven she used our joint finances to fund the affair, it's unlikely this will make any difference in court.

I have been in regular communication with Jake's soon-to-be ex-wife, Eleanor, primarily through email, and more recently, we've spoken over the phone a few times. Eleanor apologized, saying she felt guilty for telling me about the affair and worried that if she hadn't, maybe my marriage could have been salvaged. I reassured her that, for me, the gravity of the situation made divorce inevitable, and I'd rather not remain in the dark about something of this significance. She even sent me messages and other evidence of their relationship, but since Emily is openly admitting to the affair, it doesn't really matter in the course.

context of the law. Eleanor has also told me a lot about Jake, apparently, this is the third time he's cheated on her, and she's had enough. There's no chance of reconciliation this time, she says, and he doesn't seem interested in trying. She mentioned that Jake has zero desire to raise children who are not biologically his, which explains why Emily's not fighting for custody. Eleanor's divorce will most likely be much longer and more drawn out than mine given that both her and Jake want full custody of their children and can't agree on several other issues. I haven't had much time to process everything. These past two weeks have felt like a blur in every way. But one thing I can say with certainty is that I have nothing left for Emily.

Not because she betrayed our marriage, but because of how easily she's walking away from our children. I never thought I could hate someone I once loved so much, it's a strange feeling. The hardest part in all of this is the children. My two youngest daughters have started asking why their mother isn't around as much anymore, and it's been very difficult trying to communicate with them about the nature of the situation. My eldest seems to understand a little more and, as a result, he has become quiet and withdrawn. I'm fortunate to have a family that has been incredibly supportive so far. My children have received numerous thoughtful letters from some of their cousins, which I've been reading to them each night.

All my siblings have also sent gifts for the kids, and one of my brothers, along with his wife, drove up to visit over the past weekend. My sister-in-law even prepared plenty of food, some of which is still in the freezer. They also kept the children entertained while I met with my lawyer. My other siblings have also offered to come by and look after the kids whenever I need them. Beyond that, my parents have been calling daily to check in on us, and my 78-year-old mother has already made plans to stay with us for two weeks in November to help around the house. The collective effort of my family has made this experience much more bearable, and I'm deeply grateful for all their support.

To everyone who encouraged me to speak with Emily after my last post, I'm grateful. I was tempted to ignore Eleanor's message, but it kept gnawing at me. Your advice gave me the courage to act. Emily has shown herself to be a liar, and I have no doubt that her idea of a better time was simply when it would cause the least inconvenience for her and Jake. Think of this less as an update and more as a chance to vent a few things now that I've had more time to process my situation. I know that Emily often travel back and forth to the UK during our marriage. She claims her affair with Jake only began in March 24, but I'm convinced she. she's lying. It's almost certain that this has been going on for years. Given how much she had

already prepared by the time I confronted her, it's become clear to me and everyone else that she had been planning this for some time. In fact, within a few short days of our confrontation, she already had certain legal documents prepared. Additionally, Jake arriving in Canada shortly after I confronted made it clear that they had planned for her to tell me roughly around this date in advance. It makes sense that Emily was well prepared and was just waiting for things to be better lined up for herself. After all, she'd long since applied for her visa, secured a job, secretly appraised her car, our family car, though it was under her name, and sent personal items with Jake to the UK during his secret visits, all right under my oblivious nose.

I have a feeling I'm only scratching the surface and have no real idea of how far this actually goes, not that Emily would ever tell me its depth. In addition to all of this, Emily had already been in touch with her lawyer long before I confronted her. Taking all this into account, it's hard not to wonder if she secured her job even earlier than she let on, perhaps to make her actions seem less calculated. Two of Emily's friends have since reached out to express shock and disappointment by her actions. One of them, Janet, mentioned that according to another friend, Emily had been consulting her divorce lawyer as far back as late August or early September, and this other friend also confirmed my suspicion that Emily had been sending some of her

belongings to the UK during Jake's visits. I've been losing sleep, replaying the past few months in my mind, maybe driving myself a little crazy, but certain things stand out. For example, when Emily went to the UK in August for the wedding, she was carrying three fully loaded suitcases. She told me that they were filled with presents for her friends and I didn't question it, even though it seemed a bit excessive at the time. When I picked her up from the airport after her trip, I noticed the bags were suspiciously light.

I can assume that in addition to the job interview she claimed to attend, she transported a bunch of her personal items to the UK which would explain why since her return, she seemed to have been wearing a smaller selection of her clothing. Despite this, I was somehow blindsided, and I completely completely. blame myself. Looking back, I can see there were signs I ignored, and I guess I didn't think Emily was capable of this sort of thing. A part of me wonders if this outcome could have been avoided entirely had I been more assertive and vigilant in the past. The worst part of all is that my children are now dealing with the consequences of my ignorance and stupidity. While I twiddled my

thumbs, my wife had essentially started a new life. Most people in my life now know about my separation from Emily. I've stopped wearing my wedding band, and I've explained the situation to friends and colleagues who noticed its absence. One of my close friends, and many others who reached out privately on Reddit, have suggested I get DNA tests for the children, given Emily's travel patterns and tendency to lie. While I understand where they are coming from, this is something I'll never do. I'd never assign my children to another man. Nothing will change that. Life without Emily has thus far been difficult. Mornings have become a hectic rush.

Between getting the kids ready and getting myself out the door, I'm barely on time for work for nearly half the week. It's frankly exhausting trying to keep up with all the extra parenting duties I have to perform throughout the day. Our current home has a large driveway, so on top of everything else, I'm already dreading the task of shoveling it once the snow starts falling. The kids are feeling the strain as well.

They don't particularly like the food I prepare most days and they hate how I'm always busy. It's incredibly frustrating to know that while we're here struggling, Emily recently departed for a relaxing vacation through Europe with Jake. Communication between us has dwindled, and I only learned of these developments recently. I have no idea if she plans to return to Canada after her vacation or settle directly into what will likely be a very comfortable life in the UK. On a more positive note, I was able to get the kids to see their doctor recently. She gave me a bunch of useful resources and advice. She placed an emphasis on how time and clear communication were the most important factors for their adjustment. While I'm optimistic, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried.

It's still early, I know, but they remain quite upset about the entire ordeal and act out regularly as a result. It is abundantly clear that they're having a hard time adjusting to our new reality. Throughout all of this, my family has been a tremendous support. My mother arrived as promised early last week, and things have already become significantly easier. The kids enjoy her cooking and spending time with her. Her presence has also freed me to handle other tasks. Whenever the divorce is finalized, I plan to designate my eldest brother and sister-in-law as legal guardians for the children. They live relatively nearby and have already agreed to take on that role

if needed, which brings me some peace of mind. However, I highly doubt this will be any time soon given my much busier schedule and Emily dragging her feet before traveling. The whole process has slowed to a snail's pace. One of the hardest aspects of all this has been making decisions about our family home. After considerable thought and speaking it over many times with my family, I'm leaning toward selling at this stage. Emily has already offered me a bit more than half of the proceeds since she sold our SUV right before leaving the country. My lawyer has noted that selling the SUV before we finalized anything was premature

on her part, considering I contributed significantly, 40% to the purchase. He thinks I have strong grounds to seek reimbursement elsewhere in our asset division, which aligns with Emily offering more of the house. Getting more than half seems fair, given that I contributed about 65 to 70% of the down payment and monthly mortgage payments. As I mentioned above, the family SUV was registered and only her name. However, I covered about 40% of its cost, so it's frustrating she sold it unilaterally. As I've learned over the past several weeks, my sedan is too snug for the kids and inconvenient for my mother to duck in and out of when she runs errands. Therefore, I'll need to trade it for something larger.

In return, Emily has graciously insisted I keep the furniture and appliances, least she can do, I suppose. As much as part of me would like to stay in our current home, it's probably better for us to move. Part of me hopes this will help us avoid future interference from Emily, though, in reality, she's just as likely to interfere no matter where we are. I've been looking at townhouses closer to my place of work, which would cut down my commute and place us near a well-rated school. However, my sisters brought up that moving the kids now would mean changing schools and losing

their friends, which would be yet another big change for them. An alternative option is that we move to a smaller, more manageable house close to our current one. This would reduce my workload and allow the kids to stay at the same school. Regardless of which option we choose, the idea of a new home without Emily's memory is appealing. Our current homes location is yet another example of how foolish and short-sighted I've been. Its location was much more convenient for Emily's commute compared to my own. It worked out for a time as the children's school was closed to Emily's work in case they needed her during the day, but now all of this is useless as my place of work is rather far.

I've heard nothing from Emily's family, and frankly, I have no interest in reaching out. As for Emily's future with Jake, I don't wish her relationship to have. fail. The longer her life is stable, the less likely she'll disrupt ours. But I take solace in knowing she remains unaware of Jake's infidelity history. I don't feel any moral obligation to warn her about Jake's character, and Eleanor feels the same way. I've made a point to check in on Eleanor regularly. She doesn't have the same family support I do. Her immediate family is charmed by Jake's ample wealth and believes that she should do whatever it takes to keep him, even though it is clear that neither he nor Eleanor wants reconciliation. Comments where OPP has replied.

Commenter one, her friend was shocked and disappointed by her behavior. How? She knew that Emily was already seeing a divorce attorney, right? And also knew that things were being sent to the UK. The two friends who approached me found out from a third friend about my wife seeing her. a divorce attorney around late August early September. This third friend only told the two ladies who came to me she knew all of this after Emily had already moved out of the house. This third friend has not spoken with me directly. Commenter to, I'm so sorry, man. Nobody deserves that pain. I've been carrying it around with me for 15 years. I hope you're luckier than I am and meet someone new. Cheaters are the lowest of the low.

She's abandoning her own kids for his. Not a soul to be had. OOP, it is what it is, I suppose. Cheating is one thing, but I'm still stunned she is walking out on our children like this. I would have never imagined she could do something like this. OOP give some details if Emily decides to come back and want to reinstate her parental rights to her children. What the outcomes would be like for Emily? Given that Emily intends to pay child support and seeks visitation rights, should she return in a few years and request access to the children, it's likely she would be granted some access.

However, as the primary caretaker, would retain full custody. There is, of course, the possibility that she may develop a significant criminal record during her time abroad. Should that happen, it would likely bar her from any access to the children. though, I admit, I might be too optimistic in hoping for such an outcome. The opinions of the kids are also taken into consideration, so I hope if it comes down to that, they clearly state that they prefer staying with me. Of course, all of this is just a rough outline of what I think would happen. Various facts can cause different outcomes.

Here's hoping, my wife stays away so we don't have to go down that road. Oops reaction on Emily's decision to why. away from their own children and how Emily is willing to be involved with Jake's children. Yes, I'm still in shock at how easily she can just walk away. As one of my sisters-in-law put it, she's off on her broomstick to fulfill her dreams of being some poor children's wicked stepmother. A small consolation is that Eleanor's children, being a bit older than mine, 11 to 14, will likely do their utmost to make Emily's life difficult.

I hope you enjoy this story. I became frustrated with my stepchild for accusing me of being a fortune hunter for tying the knot with his dad, who was relying on my financial support, and for not addressing his son's behavior. Destroyed my car. For context, my husband Thomas and I have been together for six years, married for two. He also has a 19-year-old son from his previous marriage, but unfortunately, his first wife passed away from an unexpected aneurysm about five years before he met me. His son, Rob, was nine years old at the time and he took it really hard.

He was a very troubled kid and as he grew up, things only got worse. By the time I was introduced to him, he was around 13 or 14, and getting to know him was not a pleasant experience because he made it very clear to me right from the beginning that I would never be able to take the place of his mother, something that I was not even interested in doing, and that he would never accept me as part of the family. I tried to be his friend, but the kid was just determined to make sure that I gave up on the relationship and I left. I had spoken to Thomas about it as well and suggested that he sent Rob to therapy so he could deal with his emotions and he told me that they had tried everything but he just

didn't seem to want to get better. After his last wife had passed away, Thomas had not even thought about dating people for a really long time, but when he had met me, he changed his mind. I was pretty much one of the first women he got serious about after his wife passed away. He had gone out on a couple of dates that year, but none of them got a second date out of him apart from me, and he had told me about it right in the beginning. Thomas has always been very upfront and honest about everything with me, and he had also told me that Rob was not going to be particularly welcoming because he is not over his mother's passing and that's why he wanted to take it slow with me, before he introduced me to the family.

So we were actually together for one year before he finally brought me home and even then, Rob was very unkind to me. For the first few years, all he could do was just throw temper tantrums and be rude to me and while initially, I would try to understand and be kind to him. Eventually, I just started ignoring him because it was not worth my energy to even fight him. I had also told Thomas repeatedly to do something about his son's behavior, and Thomas would occasionally reprimand Rob, but it would be pointless because he would just go back to his usual behavior after that. And I loved Thomas truly and genuinely from the bottom

of my heart so I knew that no matter what, I wanted to make it work with him. This is why I stayed with him for almost six years, in spite of him constantly forgiving his son, but what happened recently was the last straw for me. Three years back, around the time that Thomas had proposed to me and I had said yes, he had also started a new business. Unfortunately, it didn't take off and for the past couple of years, he has been trying to make it work, but it just hasn't been going well for him financially. I let him try his luck with his business for almost three years because it was his passion project, but when it still didn't take off, I tried to tell him that maybe it was time to move on to better things or go back to his job because this was clearly not going well for him.

I had started telling him to give up on his business and do something else recently, just a few months ago, since for the past three years we have been living off of my money for the most part. I've been getting worried because I can't afford to support our family on just my income since that will leave very little for me in the future when I want to retire. So I had been trying to gently nudge Thomas in the right direction, but he was being very stubborn and he kept telling me that he just needed some more time to work on his business model and would keep coming up with excuses not to give up. I really wanted to be understanding, but it was impossible for me to keep supporting him,

knowing that this was not working. So recently, we had been fighting a lot over this. and I guess at some point, his son had overheard what we were talking about, and he came to the conclusion that I was a gold digger for telling Thomas to sell off his business to any interested buyers and go back to his job so we could make more money. I found that very insulting because the one thing that I'm definitely not a gold digger, I've always been independent, and I couldn't stand the insinuation that I had been relying on my husband for money when it had actually been the other way around. I had wanted to correct Rob when he started calling me a gold digger because it had come up a few

weeks ago when I had told him to do some chores and he had told me that he was not going to take orders from a gold digger with no self-respect or dignity, and when I had asked him what he meant by that because I was obviously appalled. He had explained his thought process to me. Before I could correct him, Thomas intervened and broke up the fight and then he put me aside and told me not to tell his son anything because Rob had no idea that we had been living off of my money for so long and he wanted to preserve his image in front of his son because it would be very shameful for him to admit that he was struggling with money. As a father, it would be humiliating for him to show his son how he had fallen and Thomas pretty much begged me not to tell him the truth, so I obliged. But I had to pay the

price for it because after that day, things started getting more difficult for me since now that Rob believed that I was a gold digger, he kept using that against me, and it was very tempting for me to tell him the truth. But I had to think of Thomas and stayed silent for his sake. Rob had come back home for his winter break and I knew that he would be gone in a couple of weeks, so I only had to tolerate him for a few weeks and since I had already put up with him and his terrible behavior for so many years, I didn't think that it would be much difficult. But I guess this time, Rob was planning on going out of his way to make things much more difficult for me and so, a few days ago, he decided to take out my car without my permission and crashed it

right before I was about to head out for a very important meeting that I had been talking about for days. I usually leave for work around nine in the morning, but that day, I had a meeting with a very important client and was planning on leaving much earlier, since I didn't want to be late and I'm really thankful that I planned ahead. I was ready to go out quite early, but Rob had been preparing so much earlier and when I came out to check out my car, I saw that there was a huge dent on the hood and the sides had been scraped like nobody's business. I was obviously devastated, and I was even more upset by the fact that Rob was standing beside the car with the keys in his hand and a proud smile on his face like he thought that he had done something great. Neither my husband,

nor I had left for work at that time, and when I saw him and what he had done to the car, I completely lost my mind and started freaking out at him. I'm usually not a violent person, but that day I just lost control and I ended up slapping Rob in the face, but it was a it's not like I regret it. He tried to shove me, but by then, Thomas had come out of the house and had put two and two together, so he had been able to hold Rob back before he could do anything. I was sobbing because obviously I couldn't take that car to the meeting now and I would have to take a cab which wasn't all that bad but my car had been one of the first purchases that I had made with my hard-earned money and it was quite significant to me. Also, taking a cab to a meeting

that was so important for my career with such a high-profile client, it would just look a little odd and I was really upset because of what had just happened like any other person would have been. However, Rob did not seem to be regretting anything and instead, he was actually screaming at me while his father was trying to hold him back and telling me that this ought to show me my place. He believed that I had way too much arrogance for somebody who was relying on my husband to fund my lifestyle and he found it laughable

that I had been talking about this important meeting for days even though I knew that at the end of the day. I was going to be living off of my husband's money and he wanted to make me realize how pretentious and phony I was and that he could see right through me. Then, he started yelling at me saying that this was my lesson for trying to force his father

into selling his business just so that I could have more money for myself and then, he kicked my car once again, called me a gold digger and spat on the ground, even though Thomas was trying his best to hold him back. That was when I decided that I could no longer hide the truth from him anymore for Thomas's sake and I told him everything.

I tried to really rub it in his face and be as nasty as I could because I felt like he deserved it and I didn't even care that he was just 19 and that I was a grown woman arguing with him since. At that moment, I just wanted to hurt him. I told him about how his father's business had been failing for the past three years and I had been the one carrying their dead weight but instead of being grateful to me for it, he had tried to sabotage me. I also told him that I was the one who had been paying his college tuition so far and even

though his father had promised me that he would pay me back as soon as he could, it didn't matter because it was me who was doing it right now. So he had no right to speak to me that way, or call me a gold digger because if anything, they were the ones who needed the gold and not me. I could see on his face that he was shocked beyond belief and was practically frozen in place and so was Thomas. Then, I wiped my tears and started walking away while booking a cab for myself so I could head to the place of the meeting. I didn't even turn around because I did not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Thankfully, the meeting went well because I had left quite early and I reached quite early as well. But then, I had had enough time to compose myself

and put on a professional face and my decision to travel in a cabin instead of my own car didn't seem much of a big deal, so it was probably just in my head. When I came back home, I saw that my car was still in the same position so I called my friend who runs a car repair shop and asked her to deal with it. And I don't know why, but just seeing my car in that condition made my heartbreak yet again and I decided not to go inside the house. I got another cab and I went straight to a nearby hotel and I haven't been home since then. The condition of my car made me realize just how disrespected I had been in my own home all because Thomas couldn't stand up to his son and I had had enough. After this, there was no way that I could go back to that house and try to make

things right with them because they definitely did not deserve it. That day, I kept waiting for at least Thomas to call me and check up on me after I returned from my meeting and went to the hotel but even that did not happen in the next day. When I woke up after a night of crying myself to sleep, I decided that I couldn't live with these people anymore and love was obviously not enough to sustain a relationship. So I decided to call my lawyer and I told him that I wanted to file for a divorce. Then, I called up my brother, and I told him that I wanted him to go to my house, pack certain things, and then bring them to me because I just didn't even want to see Thomas or Rob. I explained the situation to him as well, and he helped me out by bringing me my things.

But I guess when he went home instead of me to collect my stuff, Thomas realized that I was not planning on coming back home anytime soon. And he and his son started bombarding my phone with calls and texts. I muted all the notifications from them because I didn't want to think about them but didn't block them because I wanted to know what they had to say. And before going to bed, when I finally decided to check the messages that they had been sending me, I realized that it was just them trying to apologize to me and telling me that they were willing to make everything right again. But all I had to do was just come back and speak to them once. I had expected that from Thomas, but the fact that even Rob was apologetic and was trying to tell me that he was

ready to apologize and change as a person is what really took me by surprise. But I wasn't going to be fooled so quickly because it was very evident to me that they were only contacting me since they needed me to be there for them. If Thomas had really been sorry, then he would have contacted me the same day and apologized for everything. He wouldn't have had to wait to realize that I wasn't coming back home to apologize to me. In fact, even when I didn't return that day, He didn't contact me and only when my brother went back to collect my things did he feel the need to reach out to me. So his apologies felt very hollow and meaningless to me and as for Rob, I didn't even need to think

twice as to why he was apologizing to me. I had figured out that he needed a way to pay for himself through college and so far, I had been the one paying his tuition. So he obviously needed my help even now since he still had two years to go before he graduated. And since Thomas couldn't exactly help him out given his financial situation, I'm his only hope, and being the lazy brat that he is, I'm sure it didn't even occur to him that he could have just worked through college like most of us do or taken out a student loan. I was feeling very let down, even though they had apologized because I knew that they did not

actually mean that apology and they were just saying it because it was convenient. It took me a really long time to realize it, but I had finally come to the realization that I definitely loved Thomas a lot more than he loved me and a lot more than he deserved. But it was about time that I prioritized myself and let him go because, for the past six years, all he had done was make false promises and tell me that he was going to make everything right with me and Rob. But he had only enabled him so far because he would only tell Rob to be better, but there were never any real consequences to his actions.

And that's why eventually Rob had found the audacity to do something like this and actually expect to get away with it. Anyway, I have spoken to my lawyer about the divorce, and I've also done. told him that I want to file a lawsuit against them because I want them to pay for the damage that they have caused to me. So after reading those messages and realizing how fake their apologies were, I decided to write back to Thomas and I told him that I was going ahead with the divorce and there was nothing that he could do to me because I had waited long enough for them to come around. But since it was not going to happen anymore, I was not going to wait around

either and allow myself to be disrespected like this over and over again. The next morning, I woke up to another hundred messages from him, begging me not to leave and telling me that he was ready to do whatever it took to make me stay. He had also tried to call me several times throughout the night. But since I was asleep and had muted his notifications, I didn't know. At that moment, I started to feel really annoyed because in his messages, he was acting like he was genuinely ready to do whatever it took. And I knew that it was just him saying these things for the sake of it because he had said these things many times before as well. I had fallen for it earlier, but this time, I decided to tell him that I was going to give him an ultimatum and if he

was ready to make things work on my terms, then maybe I would come back. In reality, I did not have any intentions of going back because I had made up my mind after great difficulty and I was not going to go back on my word, but I just wanted to see what he would have to say about this. So I texted him back and I told him that I would be ready to consider couples counseling and staying with him if he promised me that he would never speak to his son again and would totally cut Rob out of his life. I told him that was the only solution to this, and if he was ready to do that, then we could talk, but otherwise, would be going through with the divorce.

So that was my ultimatum and a couple of hours after that, he sent me another message, saying that he didn't know what to say to me because all Rob had was him. But he also loved me and he didn't want to give up. on our marriage, so I had put him in a very difficult spot and he needed time to think. He was begging me not to go through with the divorce, but I told him that the fact that he was even considering this meant that neither I nor Rob were that important to him. And since he couldn't be loyal to either of us, it would be better for me to remove myself from the equation altogether and make things easier for him. Then, I guess he figured out that I actually

had no intention of coming back to him in the first place, and he started accusing me of trying to mess with his head and playing mind games. His tone really annoyed me so I decided to take screenshots of that conversation and send it to Rob, and then I turned my phone off because I didn't want to interact with either of them after that. It has been two days since then and Thomas has tried every possible way to get in touch with me because after I sent the screenshots to Rob, he left the house because he felt insulted by the fact that his father was even considering breaking ties with him to make his marriage work. So Thomas had pretty much been screwed over by both of us and he was blaming

me for creating this situation, telling me that I'm the one responsible for his predicament at the moment and has been cursing me out, but I don't feel particularly bad about it. For the past six years, he had been constantly enabling his son and allowing me to get disrespected over and over again, and I thought that this was a very small way for me to get back at him. In comparison to what I have been through, this is pretty much nothing. He has been claiming that he had done his best to strike the right balance between me and Rob and had always tried to keep both of us happy but that's not true, I was never happy. Anyway, I don't feel particularly bad about what I did, but my brother thinks that I should have

just let it go instead of trying to create a rift between the two of them. He told me that was just not worth it and revenge is not something that he encourages generally, so it's pretty true character for him. I'm just confused about whether I should or shouldn't feel sorry about this and I need people to validate my decision right now because I'm pretty emotionally volatile at the moment. So Ida because I purposefully created drama between my soon-to-be ex-husband and his son who always hated me? Edit, I stayed with him because I loved him, you guys. And when you ask somebody, you allow yourself to get manipulated and it just took me a lot to realize

that maybe he didn't love me as much as I loved him. I think it's pretty common for people to do this when they are trying to take advantage of you and that's exactly what happened to me and I'm not going to be ashamed for it. There's a difference between somebody being a doormat voluntarily and somebody like me, who has been manipulated in the name of love. I was making sacrifices to make my relationship work and it just took me a really long time to realize that I was the only one doing it, which was not fair to me. I can understand that people might feel that I'm a pushover because I stayed with him for so long, but I don't really care. I finally found the spine and the courage to leave him, even though I still have some love for him in my heart. and for me, I think that's a big achievement, so I'm definitely not going to allow myself to be shamed.

I made a mistake, like a lot of people do, and I think it's completely fine. So thank you to everyone who has been kind to me and to the ones who haven't been so kind. I don't really care. Update 1, hey, thank you so much to everyone who commented and supported me. I'm obviously going through with the divorce and yesterday, Thomas was served with the divorce papers. I don't think he's going to contest it, but I think we might have a snack because I have demanded quite a lot of settlement money since he had been living off of my dime for the past three years.

And I would like to be paid back for all of that. But I don't think that right now, given his financial condition, he would be willing to pay me back. But no worries, we can always make it a long-term payoff situation. Anyway, that's not even a concern right now. We will leave with all of that during our mediation sessions if he tries to come. come up with his own terms. Some people have been worried that my brother and I had had a fall out over my behavior with him. But honestly, it was not that deep. My brother is a non-confrontational

person and he had just told me that he didn't think it was a good idea to interact with them even more and revenge and stuff. But it's not like he had told me to apologize for them or he had tried to cut me off. It had not been that dramatic. I'm sorry if it came off that way, but it was just a suggestion and we haven't even spoken about it since then because neither does he think it's that important and nor do I. Thomas and Rob have not tried to contact me for the past couple of days, which I am really grateful for because I don't want anything to do with them and I just want some peace and quiet. I have moved out of the hotel that I was staying in and I'm staying with a friend of mine right now. Hopefully, nobody's going to try and find me here. Update 2. Hi, everyone.

So it has been a couple of weeks and Thomas and I are going to attend our first mediation session tomorrow. Just like I had expected, he doesn't want to pay the amount that I have demanded as a settlement, which is weird because it was literally his son who had damaged my car. So if nothing else, at least he should offer to pay for that and also, I guess he has forgotten the fact that he had promised to pay me back. He hadn't signed a contract or anything, unfortunately, but I have several texts from him just casually conversing and he has mentioned that he is definitely going to pay me back all the tuition that I have paid for as soon as he can afford to do it. So even though I don't have a contract, I guess that's going to do for now.

And for everyone who had been asking me why exactly I had left home, it's a rented house. Even though we had been trying to split our rent for the past couple of years, it was his name on the lease and I didn't think it was worth fighting for. So I left. I've been looking for an apartment near my workplace and as soon as I find one, I'm going to move out of my friend's place and start living on my own again. I can't exactly live with my brother because he has his own family as well and they have tried to tell me that I am welcome at their house, but I don't want anybody to have to give up

their room for me. Anyway, that's where it's at right now and hopefully the mediation for the divorce will be over soon and I will be able to move on. I've already started actively trying to move on by throwing myself into my work, focusing on other things and trying to take my mind off of Thomas. It's not easy, even though I know that he was toxic to me and it's best for me to leave. But part of me is always going to have a soft corner for him and I'm dreading having to see him tomorrow, but I know that this has to be done and who knows, maybe he will mess up and I'll start hating him.

Anyway, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for the best. I'm probably going to be very busy for the next couple of months until the divorce is finalized and I don't think I'll have time to keep you guys updated on everything that happens. So if I post any other updates, it's definitely going to be after the divorce. Wish me luck, you guys. Update 3, hey, everyone. Long time no C, you guys. So just like I had promised you guys, I'm back after my divorce.

My last update was probably around seven months ago and my divorce was finalized last week. Since then, life has been pretty much a non-stop party because these past months have been very difficult and draining for me. But now that it's finally over, I've been hanging out a lot more with my friends and family and I'm planning a trip to Greece with a couple of my high school girlfriends. I've earned this treat for myself and I'm going to try and enjoy my life to the fullest as of now. The process of the divorce was pretty toxic and I don't want to get into it, but at least at the end of it, I got back all the money that I deserved and there's some more in store since he couldn't pay back all of it to me up front. Since then, Thomas has been playing the victim on his social

media and most of our common friends have taken his side because they think that I was too hasty in getting a divorce and have been pretending like I never really loved him in the first place because I found it so easy to leave him. They have also been referring to me as the gold digger and as the most materialistic person they know because I took back the money that I was owed, I guess. I don't know how that makes me the villain, but I'm happy to know that these people have shown their true colors and I know for a fact that they were never my true friends in the first place. I have cut them off and everybody else who was taking his side during the divorce. I don't need this kind of negativity in my life and like I said, I'm going to be living it up to

the fullest now. I have my friends and my family and most apparently, I have found myself again and that's all that I need. I hope you enjoy this story. Mother-in-law insisted that I expressed breast milk for her to feed my three-month-old infant. When I declined, she referred to her as my child and my sister-in-law. Said I was being selfish, then they all started texting me that I was hogging the baby and being cruel. So I am a first-time mom and this whole experience has been very overwhelming for me. My wonderful baby just hit three months and is officially no longer a newborn. I have been lucky enough that I have good supply so my baby girl is exclusive.

breastfeed except for the any excess that we use when my husband does her night feeds. I have made it very clear to most of our friends and family that I don't want anyone but me or my husband feeding her. My mother-in-law has been slightly annoyed bordering on judgmental about this, but has mostly kept her mouth shut. We have never had any issues in the past, so I just chalked it up to her wanting to bond with the baby. I might allow it when she's older, but for now I'm not comfortable with anyone else doing it. So we were over at my and sister and law house for her son's birthday and while all the cousins and husbands played outside, me and all the ladies sat inside playing past the baby. She ends up in my mother-in-law arms and begins to fuss

and make her hungry cry. I stood up and went to take her before she pulled her back and told me to go make a bottle. I told her no, that I would go to the guest room and feed her. My sister-in-law stood to and said she had some formula and would make it for me. I refused again and quickly took my baby, saying she's never had formula and I don't want her to be sick. My mother-in-law sighs and rolls her eyes and asks, why don't you just pump some so I can feed my baby? I must have been visibly horrified because one of my other sill stood and tried to guide me away by my shoulder. I took her to the other room to feed her and sat in there with her for the rest of the party. The sister-in-law whose party it was came to find me, I almost hit her when she said,

Don't you think it's a little selfish you won't let mom feed the baby? You could have just pumped a couple ounces for her. I said I will never pump anything for anyone because I'm not a cow, and she's my baby. She declared I was being bitchy and walked away. My husband doesn't know this is all happening but on the ride home, his mother and two of the other wives texted me to tell me it was unfair to hog my baby and to make it so she couldn't bond with anyone else and that I should have just pumped before I came so I didn't have to hide her away. My mother-in-law specifically said that I was being so selfish with her only granddaughter, and it wasn't fair to her that she couldn't even feed her baby.

I just texted back that it wasn't her baby and put my phone on Do Not Disturb. I know I should tell my husband, but I don't want to add more strain as he and his mother are still trying to heal their relationship from when they had a big fight a couple years ago. I don't want to cause drama, but I'm starting to feel very guilty, especially since I'm still getting tons of texts about how cruel I'm being. Am I the odd for refusing to pump for my mother-in-law? Edit 1, small bit of context. My little sister choked whilst being fed by our great aunt and almost died.

She hadn't been holding her properly and my sister had to be rushed to the hospital. I was very young but the memory is still very fresh in my mind even when my husband is feeding our baby. I never want my baby to be unsafe while being fed and I worry about other people feeding her because of this. Edit 2, I have absolutely nothing against formula, and I absolutely would have supplemented if needed. I ended up getting very lucky to have adequate supply for my baby. Formula is necessary for so many mothers out there and while breast is technically better I don't think anyone should be shamed for needing to use formula or choosing not to breastfeed. My daughter's pediatrician told me he prefers I keep her on breast milk as long as I can,

and that formula could potentially lead to her getting stomach upset. comments where op has replied, comment one. NTA, as you said, you are not a cow. This is the natural way for this to go because we were made to breastfeed and bond with our babies. Mother-in-law already had her babies and her baby bonding. Hoop, thank you. They were really starting to get to me, and I was worried maybe I was really just being mean with her comment too. NTA.

They actively got bonding time. What do they think holding me? the baby is. Bonding time. Feeding a baby is not the only way to bond with them. Neither of my daughters took a bottle. My parents still bonded with her plenty. I actually think they only ever gave a handful of bottles to my son because I was pretty adamant on the beginning about being the only one to give him a bottle once a night. He nursed every other feeding. Since my husband was gone for training and couldn't have that experience. My son is a total Grammy's boy at almost five years old. My middle is a complete Papa's girl at almost two. They didn't need to feed them

bottles in order to create the bond they have with them. My daughter actually was not fond of my dad until she was about 10 months old. She would scream if he even looked at her. Sounds like mother-in-law and your sills are just boundary stompers and have zero respect for you. Oop, I guess all the other wives have let her feed their babies. My husband had four brothers and one sister and of them all I'm the only one who's had a girl. It's been a whole fuss and I've already let her have so much more time with baby than I would have liked. My Phil couldn't care less and doesn't even want to hold her, but he's not a baby guy. It's also hard because I don't have my parents in my life so I want her to have grandparents and I want to keep the peace comment three.

Not telling your husband just allows mother-in-law to slant the event to her advantage. Keeping secrets from your husband, even for his own good, is bad precedent. NTA Oop, I'm definitely sitting him down when he gets home from work. I hate to make their relationship worse, but this whole thing is making me realize she probably shouldn't have a ton of access to me or baby. Oop responds to a downvoted comment about not having bottles available for the family to feed the baby. Only her husband is allowed to do so, Oop, I don't bring bottles with me typically. I just don't like it, it stresses me out sometimes even when my husband feeds her because I'm afraid

she'll choke. It's more of a personal thing than anything. I do bring the pump for overflow when going out, but I produce enough that sometimes I just have to dump. Comment 4. NTA looks as if she tried a sneak attack with the hole I'll go get some formula plan from your sister-in-law. It was planned out that way. You are right as far as your baby getting sick if suddenly fed formula. I'd tell your husband the next time he wants you to be around your mother-in-law. Tell him everything and that you may not want to be left alone with her next time you are at a gathering. Especially since she used a flying monkey to try to get you to take her off of breast milk poop, if I tell him he may cut her off for a while entirely.

Someone said I'm making my village small and it's my fault and it'll be hard on my baby which is making me worry that I should just start letting others people feed her. Update 1. So after everyone's suggestions I decided I was going to talk to my husband when he go home from work. I put baby down to sleep before initially posting and I posted because of all the messages from mother-in-law and CILs. Apparently his oldest brother's wife had called him today at work and told him what my mother had said and what the other wives had said when I left the room. We sat at the kitchen table and I had him read the messages from start to finish. He was upset with me at first for keeping it from him, then hugged me and said he hated that

I had to go through this alone. He went upstairs to call his mother. He told me after about 10 minutes on the phone that until baby is a year, mother-in-law will have minimal contact, as well as his sister not being allowed around the baby either. He told me to block both their numbers for the time being and so I did. He also told me that their fight two years ago was over his mother trying to get him back with his ex right after he proposed to me and that's why they stopped talking for the rest of that year. He said he told his mother that if she pushes for more next time we give her an opportunity

that it would be her last chance at a granddaughter. This has all progressed so quickly and everyone was right about talking to my husband. I wish I had gone right to him when it happened, but I was so worried to put more strain. Thank you for all the advice. Comments where O.P. has replied, comment one, kudos to your sister-in-law that called your husband. And major kudos to your husband. Just worry about taking care of yourself and little one and let your husband handle the rest. OOP, I just want to savor her as much as I can while she's still so little.

I love my husband for all that he does. And I couldn't love that sister-in-law more if I tried. She definitely getting a gift basket. Comment too, and when you are ready to have someone else give her a bottle with breast milk, the formula part made me go WTF. Might I suggest this, Auntie? At some point, you and hubby do deserve to get a babysitter and have a date night. OOP absolutely, she's a total savior.

She has like three boys of her own and they've the most well-behaved of all the cousins. She was the one who tried to pull me away from the situation comment three. Can't blame you for being worried about straining things, but glad y'all sorted it out. Stand UR ground and remember it's A-B-T what's best for UR family unit. Not coming off as the good daughter-in-law. O-O-P, I've realized during this she already has plenty of good good daughter-in-law and doesn't need me to add to her pile. I hope that she grows and we're able to have a decent relationship. I want nothing more than to make sure my baby has lots of loving family.

Update 2. Hubby got home early tonight and we checked my phone together. Messages totaled out to mother-in-law, 14 voicemail, 23 calls, 67 text sister-in-law, 8 Facebook messages, for phone calls, 17 texts father-in-law but clearly from mother-in-law for more voicemail, five calls, and 31 texts I let my husband handle them as I didn't feel like reading them while already feeling so stressed about it. Afterwards he took about an hour to calm down in the basement. The messages from what little he did feel comfortable telling me were about how I was tearing the family apart with my selfish behavior, and why do I even bring baby around if I don't want them bonding with her? The one voicemail was 20 or so minutes long and it was apparently just her talking about how all the kids are both boyfriend slash girlfriend and formula fed so grandma can help and I'm depriving myself of her assistance.

I heard part of her rant saying how she knows best because she had six kids and seven eight THS at the same time and that me being so particular is going to make other babies impossible for me. Which is unfair because she wants two granddaughters and I'm the only one that can give them to her. My girl is the first girl baby, and all 12 of her cousins are boys. Husband made one phone call and told her if she is going to just drain my phone battery she will permanently block from my phone I called my OB today to talk about possibly getting a consult for a therapist to talk about my potential PPA. While I'm sure this situation certainly is adding to it, I want to be as healthy as I can for my baby.

Update 3, so since this all started my husband had fully cut contact with all but his oldest brother and his wife. The rest of his siblings and in-laws were all firmly on mother-in-law side. Everything has been peaceful aside from the occasional phone card from an unknown number. He spoke with his mother in person one time while I was at a check-up for baby. He told her that he is uncomfortable with her being in our in the baby's life while she's treating me this way. He said that she cried and tried to switch blame onto me about the situation which he refused. She has shown up once or twice just to leave gifts for baby's. I have eased up a bit on my anxiety and have had two therapy appointments so far.

I am very lucky as my job gave me an extension for maternity leave. I talked to baby's pet and he recommended a good brand of formula for us to have on hand for any emergency. I appreciate all the support and I apologize for the underwhelming update. I don't think my mother-in-law is necessarily a bad person but she's used to getting her ways especially with her family and the other women. I may update again if anything else drastic happens, but baby is happy and healthy and meeting all her milestones and I couldn't be more thrilled. Next story, pregnant girlfriend's best friend convinced her to start going through my phone constantly looking for cheating.

When she found nothing I said she needed counseling and to distance herself from her friend. She refused so I moved out. My G.F. Jen and I have been together for four years. Back in April, two great things happened. We found out Jen is pregnant and I closed on a house for us to move into. Our family and friends know about the pregnancy, including Jen's best childhood friend, Amanda. I will admit, I never liked the dynamic between Anunda and Jen, but it did not really affect our relationship since Amanda lived across the country. After finding out about the pregnancy, Amanda decided to move back home. We live in Jen and Amanda's

hometown. Amanda has been back since late May and all hell has broke loose. Jen has always felt a little self-conscious in our relationship. I work construction and do personal training. She feels intimidated by small girls, but I have no idea why. She is a sexy AF woman with amazing curves. Amanda has done nothing but played into Jen's insecurities and anxieties since being back. Jen and I have never been the tracking location couple or looking through phones couple. We always considered that a red flag in a relationship. Amanda has convinced Jen that she needs to start doing that. So, she has been looking through my phone on a regular and finding nothing. I have communicated my hurt and frustration and that I think she needs

to distance herself from Amanda. She kept rebuffing my concerns. About two weeks ago, Jen again asked to look through my phone. I told her in no uncertain terms that this will be the last time she looks through my phone. If she again sees nothing suspicious, then she needs to agree to go to counseling and distance herself from Amanda. She agreed, looked through my phone, and found nothing suspicious. But, she soon reneged on her promise to do counseling and distancing herself from Amanda. I decided to move out. We are currently on a month-to-month lease in an apartment until renovations get done on the house I bought. I am staying with a friend until the house is ready and then I will move in alone. Jen has asked me to reconsider, I refuse. She will likely

need to move in with her mother, which is not ideal given the limited space, which I feel terrible about for my child. Ida. Edit. I am fully aware that Jen has raging hormones. Trust me, I was dealing with a lot more than just her insistence on searching my phone constantly. Two, I have been doing individual counseling for six years. I want to do couples counseling and Jen to do individual counseling. Three, I left because Jen lied to me. Update 1. Jen and I met up earlier this week to discuss our relationship after she had sent some text messages. She apologized for how she behaved towards me. She particularly apologized for how she behaved when I moved out of the apartment. She said she will definitively stop searching my phone

if I moved back in. She also said she was ready to get engaged. She historically had been the hold-up in us getting engaged or married. I asked why she had started searching my phone in the first place, she said, she really did not know. Jen said she has seen me get hit on before by girls in my personal training work and shut the women down, even before we were dating. She trusted that I would do that generally, but she is feeling self-conscious about her body and thinks maybe I would be tempted to not do that now. Apparently Amanda's ex was a guy who got hit on by girls and would shut them down in front of her but was secretly cheating with some of them. But, I said if you saw me rejecting these women before we were even dating, why would that change now? Why would I risk my license?

She said she did not have an answer. I told her, that is why she needs counseling, to explore that. I asked if in the six or so weeks of searching my phone at least every other day, if she saw anything from me to any other woman that even hinted at romantic interest. She said no at first, then laughed and commented that I did send a heart emoji to a group chat with Jen to a picture of her mom and a dress she just bought. But she admitted she has no suspicion whatsoever that I am trying to get with her mom. She said she is not ready for counseling and is not ready to give up on Amanda, but she is going to move in with her mom in the next few weeks.

I let her know that I cannot move back in with her until at least counseling is being started. She understood. I am going to let the landlord know that we are terminating the lease at the end of September. She is sad we are not living together, but understood where I am coming from. She gave me a hug and a kiss and that was the end of the conversation. She later sent me a text asking if I was okay with her still watching my videos. I had made some videos some months back for her viewing pleasure. I said sure. Her mom later texted and told me they had a long heart to heart about Jen and

I's relationship. Update 2, I have been asked by a number of people to give an update on the situation. There was not much to report until recently. Shortly after my last update, Jen had moved in with her mom and I had moved into the house. Things had been going well, we were communicating, I was going with her to all the appointments, and we were generally getting along. But, we were not living together because Jen still refused my request for counseling and distancing herself from Amanda. Well, about three-ish weeks ago was my 30th birthday. I have never really celebrated my birthday. It was midweek and I just went to work, had a couple of personal training sessions at the gym, and went home. I was in the shower

and someone was ringing the doorbell. I went and answered it and it was Jen. She had some groceries with her and insisted on making me dinner. I have been very particular about enforcing boundaries with her because, in a lot of ways, she is behaving like we are still together like before I moved out. She could sense my hesitation and stated that she would just be making me dinner as a friend. So, I agreed. I turned on a movie while we cooked together. After dinner was done, we sat in front of the TV, ate, and finished the movie. We talked for a little bit after the movie over, she then said she needed to use the bathroom, I assumed she would leave afterwards. I began cleaning the kitchen and she came up behind me and began grabbing my dick.

I turned around and she was in a lingerie set she knows I love. I asked her what she was doing and she said, what does it look like? She grabbed me again, but I told her to stop. She said, you look like you like it. I told her again to stop. I pulled her hands off of me and told her to leave. She looked dejected and like she was about to cry, but left without saying anything. A couple of days later, I called her to talk about it, but she did not answer. I called her a day later after that call because that was the day of the next prenatal visit. She sent back a text and told me not to come. The next week I called again about the prenatal appointment, but she told me not to come again.

On Sunday of this week, she finally called me back. She asked who I was cheating with, I told her, I was not cheating. She asked who I was sleeping with, and I told her no one. She demanded to see my phone again, and I told her I would not let her see it. She yelled that I was obviously sleeping with someone and lying to her. I told her I was not, and if you do not trust me, we probably just need to learn how to co-parent from here on out. She agreed.

So, we are officially done. comments where OPE has replied, comment one, she thoroughly self-sabotaged the whole relationship. Sad but her insecurities are out of control. I would reach out to her family and express your concerns for her mental health, just so someone around her can be aware of your concerns, especially after the baby is born. PPD can be intense. Oop, her mom is fully aware of everything and she is living with her mom now. Comment two, what race are you guys?

A comment hinted you're a black man and she's a white woman. If so, I have a feeling she's going to go for full custody and you're going to get slammed with terrible custody terms. Oop, I am black and she is white. I do not think I will end up with terrible custody. I have friends who have the same dynamics and ended up fine custody with far more contentious situations. We are in a city where black judges are the norm. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouses passing left me as a solo father until my long-time companion from youth relocated to the area with her soon-to-be husband.

However, she revealed her emotions to me four weeks prior to her wedding. Wedding My point 35M, friend Bree 35F, just told me she loves me four weeks before our marriage, and I am not sure what I am supposed to do here. I want to know if I am doing the right thing. To give some context, I lost my wife two years ago. I have a five-year-old daughter. I have not dated in the last two years because I have major trauma from losing my wife. I still love her a lot and don't think I am ready to move on.

I invested all my time in my daughter, who looks exactly like her mother and my work to keep my sanity for the last two years. I have been friends with Bree since we were in elementary school. We lived in the same neighborhood growing up and were best friends. She is an awesome person, and we were inseparable growing up. The weirdest part was we had completely different personalities. She was very outgoing and always had a lot of friends. I am a big introvert and Bree along with a few friends was all I needed. Bree was a serial dater and I don't remember any time since middle school since she was single.

Brie and I never dated though. Bree and I also went to the same college. She never had a stable boyfriend, but just jumped from one relationship to another. I, on the other hand, did not date seriously until I was in my junior year. When I met my wife, she was a freshman and we hit it off instantly. We fell for each other and spent all our time with each other. This strained my relationship with Bree as I would generally hang out with my wife instead. of her. That was the time Bree and I slowly started drifting apart. After college, I moved to a

different town for my job, and Bree and I occasionally messaged each other, but nothing beyond that. Bree attended my wedding and that was the last time I saw her. We kept in touch, but mostly by commenting on each other's pictures or keeping each other updated on significant life events. Bree did reach out to me when my wife passed away and we talked on a phone call. Last year, Bree and her fiancé moved to my city. I was still grieving and both have been amazing support for me and my daughter. My daughter loves dancing, and Bree helped me enroll her in dancing and gymnastics classes and sometimes takes her to them.

I also became good friends with her fiancé, who is indeed an incredibly good man. My daughter also loves Auntie Bree and Bree sometimes helps me babysit. Last week, Bree came to my house and asked if we could talk. Her tone sounded serious. She told me that over the last few months, she feels like she has started to develop feelings for me and is not sure anymore if she wants to go ahead with the wedding. She felt I also had started developing feelings for her. I told her that I am not ready for any relationship before I can deal with my mental help.

for which I go to a therapist regularly. She tried to convince me that she loved me, we are soulmates, and she felt that we were meant to be together. However, I do not have the same feelings for her. I love her as a friend, but nothing beyond that. We were both emotional, but she said she was glad we talked about this. She left after that. Bree called me that night and told me not to talk about our conversation to anyone.

I thought a lot about it and decided that I would not tell her fiancé about me and my conversation from last week. I feel it's their relationship, and I do not have the right to ruin their moment if Brie decides to go ahead with the wedding. However, I feel guilty that her fiancé does not know anything about this and is going into a marriage where Brie might not be fully ready for it. Can you guys give suggestions on what I should do in this case? Am I wrong for not telling her fiancé about our conversation? Update 1. The last month has been crazy, and my whole world has turned upside down. Again for context, I lost my wife two years ago and we have a five-year-old daughter. Bree and her fiancé Jason, 33M, moved to our town a year ago, and we have reconnected as friends

and they have done a lot to cheer me up during this year and bring my life to normalcy. After Bree told me that she loved me, I told her that I was still not ready to move on as I still miss my wife. She said she understood, and I did not hear from her or Jason for a few days. The guilt was killing me, as I was not sure if I should tell Jason about what she told me. Thanks to everyone who commented on the post, it helped me think the situation through. I finally called Bree after a few days and asked her to meet me for lunch. I talked to her and asked her if she was going ahead with her wedding. She broke down and told me she was not sure.

I told her that she should at least talk to Jason regarding her feelings and not be dishonest with him. I also assured her that I would not say anything to Jay, but I just wanted her to be happy. She said she understood and left. That night I put my daughter to sleep and was watching TV. Around 9.30 p.m., I heard a loud knock on my door, and it was Jason. I opened the door, and he was in front. tears. He started yelling at me and asking me why I had to steal Bree out of all the people. I tried to calm him down, but he just kept on shouting. I was trying to get him to sit down

on the bench on our porch. I told him my daughter was sleeping upstairs, but he slowly was getting more and more physical. He punched me in the face, and I was able to push him off. I told him to get out of my house, and he sat in his truck and drove away. I immediately called Bree, and she was crying and did not sound well on the phone. She told Jason that she could not marry him, because she had feelings for me. I was really scared for her, after the physical altercation with Jason, and told her to gather some clothes and get out of the house. She did that and came to my place. I just didn't feel she was safe with Jason. I consoled her for almost two hours and was able to get her to sleep. The next morning, we had to call her parents to let them

know about what had happened. Bree kept a brave face, but I could see how much she was hurting. Her parents asked her to take a few days off, and immediately come back home, and she did take a flight in the evening to go home. Over the next two weeks, the wedding was called off. Bree and I were talking every day and she was just very exhausted. She talked to Jason a few times and kept on asking her to take more time to think. However, I think Brie just wanted to get out of it and decided to just break it off with Jason. Currently, Brie is staying with us for the last two weeks. She still has a job here and started going back to work last week.

I have talked to Brie in detail about what happened. Bree told me that Jason and her were dating on and off for the last four years. Jason is not very career-oriented, and Brie is very good at her job. job. She felt he was a nice and reliable person, but was unsure about him from the start. She felt that she was not getting any younger, and hence they decided to get married. When she heard about my wife passing away, she just felt really bad and wanted to be around me to comfort me. When she got her big promotion, which meant she could work in a corporate office, she immediately chose my city and moved here. Jason also moved here and got a new job. She never had

any romantic feelings for me back then. As she started hanging out with my daughter and me, she started feeling the bond we shared when we were growing up. Except, I was the broken one and she was taking care of me. She said that she realized that she was enjoying her time with us, more than with Jason. She realized she made a mistake with Jason, and what she wanted was right in front of her. She slowly started thinking about me in that way and finally told me about it. She her relationship with Jason was over the moment she confessed to me. It's a shitty situation, but I am glad that she realized that before getting married versus after. As for Jason, I feel bad for him. He is moving back to our hometown closer to his family. He is currently

in their apartment and will move sometime next month. I know a lot of you would be curious if we were dating. We are not dating. I don't think I can date anyone right now and neither should break. She is my friend, and I am happy that she is staying with us, and plans to be here until everything is sorted out. My daughter loves having Auntie Bree around too, so that's a bonus. Plus, it's really nice to see her slowly get back to normal. Thanks again for helping me during my last post. Cheers. Additional information from OOP.

One of the comments from the post really stuck out to me when I was trying to decide if I wanted to tell Jason, in myself about what Bree told me. Following is the comment. I would not share your conversation, but also find a way to pull away from spending any time with her that also does not tear her out of your daughter's life. Not that she is or ever will replace your dear wife and your daughter's mother because that is impossible. But your daughter at a young age had already lost her mom and I'd hate to see her traumatized

by having another woman in her life abruptly leave. My daughter really loves having her around and I also do not want her to lose Brie. I have thought about the pros and cons, and I feel I'm happy she is staying with us at this point. Update 2. November 8, 2024. I wrote a post nine months ago about my friend Bree telling me that she loved me a few weeks before she was supposed to get married. For context, I lost my wife three years ago, and we have a six-year-old daughter. Bree and her fiancé, Jason, moved to our town a year ago, and Bree confessed her feelings for me just weeks before her wedding. Things went south quickly, and Bree ended up breaking up with Jason and canceling the wedding.

She was staying with us when I last shared an update. Bree members didn't know that Jason had assaulted me, and I had to assure everyone that we were safe and okay. I'm feeling particularly happy this week, so I thought I would share an update. Firstly, the reason Bree moved in with us while Jason was still in town was because I had a temporary restraining order, Tiaro, against him. Bree also filed for one but was denied, as he had never directly threatened her safety. She said she felt secure with us because of the Tiaro, and I agreed. Jason didn't cause any issues after that, though he continued texting Bree, asking her to work on their relationship. Eventually, he moved back to our hometown in February, and we haven't heard from him since.

Bree got her own apartment once Jason left town, but she remained very much a part of our daily lives. I enjoyed having her around, and my daughter loves her. In April, Bree brought up the idea of us dating again. I explained that I wasn't over my wife's death and didn't want to be unfair to her because I still love my late wife deeply. Bree told me she knew she could never replace my wife, nor did she want to. She shared a beautiful analogy, she said my heart is like a big pot. It holds a lot of love for my late wife, but it also made room for more love when my daughter was born. Loving her wouldn't erase my love for my wife or daughter, it would simply mean there's more room in my heart than I realized.

I took a month to think it over, talking to my mom and mother-in-law, late wife's mom, who both encouraged me to give a relationship with Bree a chance. We officially started dating in May, and it's been surprising how quickly we fell in love. I think the strong foundation of our friendship helped a lot. The last six months have been amazing, and I've never seen my daughter so happy. She's a big chatterbox now and insists that Bree comes to all her school events and recitals. Sometimes, I feel a little jealous of their bond and even a bit left out of their little chats. The reason I'm writing this update is because I'm planning to propose to Bree this Christmas. It's not a surprise proposal, we went engagement ring shopping last weekend and finalized the ring.

We also have wedding plans for next summer. I know it seems quick, but I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. Bree deserves to officially be part of our family. My daughter is thrilled, and she and Bree are already shopping for dresses for the engagement photo shoot. Our families couldn't be happier, and we planned to get engaged at a small gathering of family and friends over Christmas weekend in our hometown. I know some people judged me for taking Bree in after she left Jason, and others judged her for leaving him at the altar. Life isn't easy, trust me, and things don't always go as planned. But I'm grateful Bree found the courage to tell me how she felt back then.

Thank you all again for your support on my last post. comments where OPP has replied, commenter one, downvoted. Thanks for the update. Glad things worked out and wish you both a great future. OOP, thanks. We are excited for the next chapter. Commenter two, wait, so why didn't she end her relationship before ever sharing with you that she had feelings for you? OOP, it was such a crazy time, four weeks before the wedding.

I know the right thing should have been the right thing to do. However, I am also glad she did not go through with the wedding when her heart was not at the right place. I feel bad for Jason too, but I think it's better for him it happened, instead of learning about it after getting married. I did initially blame myself for all the pain that I caused Bree. I know she would have been married, happily, to Jason, if I did not exist, but through therapy, I have learned to let go of the guilt. It was something I could not control. Commenter 3, so you explained to her that you were still grieving your wife, and she gave you some stupid analogy to pressure you into dating her.

She sounds desperate and dumb, and not a good influence for your child. I feel bad for your daughter. I seriously doubt your wife would approve of this for her. Commenter 4, her analogy was pure manipulation and you are too stupid, or too horny, to see it. It's been less than a year. Good luck, dear horny man, you are going to need it. Your wife would be ashamed of the damage you are going to end up doing to your daughter and all this. You let a manipulative woman con her way into your bed and home.

Next story, dying father finally told me why he hated me entire life. He never wanted a son and wanted me to give me up for adoption but my mother wouldn't let him. I have three sisters that I love and a mother I adore, not always though. I hated them when I was younger because while my father would yell at me or belittle me for everything possible, they were the apples of his eyes. I did my best at school in karate, nothing impressed him, not when I earned a full scholarship to a prestigious university, not when I was the valedictorian of my year group, not even at 26 when I managed to start my own small company that has grown considerably since.

No matter what I did, I was made to feel worthless, less than a person, good for nothing, useless, a failure. I have lingering issues about it to this day. When I was younger, all I wanted just once was for my father to say I'm proud of you, nothing even close. He doted on my sisters and mother though, and I'm not proud to say I hated them for it as much as I hated him. How dare they get away so lightly, how dare they get his smiles and laughter and kind words when all I had to get was cruelty. It took me a long time to finally begin a relationship with my sisters or mom that wasn't the jealous, angry son. Today we are all very close, I love them to death and would do

anything for them. Some time ago my father was diagnosed with cancer, he's had other issues as well, suffered through two heart attacks and a stroke and it seems as if his body can't carry on anymore. He's dying and I don't care, I don't have it in me to care and if he died I could live the rest of my life having never seen him before he passed or knowing that I won't attend his funeral. He wasn't present at my wedding either, I did not invite him which was very noticeable to many of my family members, but I didn't care. I'd found a woman who loved me and that I loved and I wanted to share that day with people in my life that I love or strongly like. My uncle was always sympathetic to my cases growing up, my father, his older brother was an asshole to him and he understood

why I wouldn't want my father there even while other family members thought I should have still invited him. Here's the thing he wants to see me, he probably has only a few months left and now wishes to see me. My wife, mother and sisters all want me to pay a visit to him. While my wife thinks I should go just once, she isn't pressuring me, she knows my history with him and says if I decide not to go, that's it. My mother and sisters, however, do think I should go and have all spoken to me several times in the past month about this. The only person who's laid off bugging me about it is my older sister. I'm the second child, she's 34 and she was the one who say my father be a dick to me from as far back as she or I can remember. My two other sisters

are several years younger, 26, 25. We met recently to talk about it, my older sister and I and for the first time in years I broke down crying, I literally just let it out. I told me that her I can't do it. I tried to put everything in the past, but I can't. I hate that man and what he did to me mentally. I can't forgive him and she says she understands, she said she'd speak to my mother and sisters however my mother and sisters tend to be very pushy. Anyway, do you all think I should go at least once?

Update, so I went to see my dad and it basically went like shit. I caved, I fucking caved and decided fuck it, I'll see what he wants. Maybe this is something worth hearing. I visited the hospital by myself. No wife. No mom. No sisters. Just him and I. He looked old and tired and just as I predicted I didn't find it in me to be angry. This wasn't the man I remembered. This was just some old broken man.

It would have been a waste of my time to feel angry and yet I did. I was so pissed off because I couldn't stand across from him eye to eye and let him see that the son he treated like dogs hit had built a wonderful life for himself. We didn't say anything to each other for around an hour. Then eventually I found my voice and said, you know, this is the last time we'll ever see each other right. No response. Then he replied, I know. So I asked him why now? Why did he want to see me so badly that he had to send a message through my mother for me? And here is where I learned that my existence was fuck all to him. He admitted that he had to that he did it just to give my mom closure, she didn't ask him to do it, but he knew she wanted it.

So I asked him why he treated me the way he did my whole life and he replied, I never wanted a son, never had any interest in one. It fucking hurt, but I kept listening and he kept speaking. He said that in the first few years of my life he tried his best to care about me but eventually he realized he couldn't. Then came the final nail in the coffin of my relationship with that man. I never loved you, but I didn't hate you either. I just didn't care for you because I never wanted a son, I wanted to give you up for adoption when you were younger, but your mother would never have forgiven me, so I did my best to push you aside and you would always try and get my approval for stuff. I felt bad at times, but I just didn't care for you by that time I was crying.

Me, a 31-year-old man, left my dying father in his hospital room and went to my car crying. I could have gone my whole life not knowing that. Fuck my mom, my sisters, my wife and my dad. I'm just so pissed right now. There was a part of me that hoped we would bury the hatchet, nope, I just learned he never gave a fuck. I will never speak of my father again. I will not attend his funeral or visit his grave. When he dies I'll be at the bar drinking because the fucker is gone from this world and I will I can to be the father he never was. Edit, I just want to say thanks to everyone for your kind words, both in comments and PMS, they really helped a lot.

Particularly while I was hung over this morning and laying in bed thinking about life. Also to the stranger who gave me gold, thank you. Never had that before and it was quite unexpected. I've got a ways to go still, I feel like yesterday opened up wounds I didn't even realize had never really healed and I'll be talking to my wife about it and most likely a professional as well. I won't cut my mom or sisters out. I am not angry at them. Their experiences with my father were different from my own and I do not fault them for that. However, right now, the best thing for me is just to not be around them as much. So I don't think they'll be

seeing slash hearing from me for some time. Once again, I sincerely thank everybody, it was your comments and PMS that made me realize, yeah, it hurts like shit, but I can't let him have any more power over me, I'm in the prime of my life and I've built a nice life for myself. I don't need a dying man's approval anymore because I've done the best I could for so long without it anyway, so here's hoping things will get better soon. I hope you enjoy this story. Harmful sibling disrupted my marriage ceremony to argue that my children were insignificant because I had them prior to getting married.

Her subsequent actions were so irrational that law enforcement had to intervene. I, 24F, got married about a week ago and unfortunately, things went quite haywire there. Let me start right from the beginning, I have an older sister, let's call her Stacy, 26F, and we have always had intense sibling rivalry. And I'm serious about it, we hated each other growing up because all we wanted to do was one up each other. We never got along and even as we grew older, we continue to. to loathe each other. It was all subtle, we made sure that we never outwardly showed people

how much we disliked each other, but it was all there under the surface. She and I didn't talk to each other when we were living together and would only put on a show for our family members, whenever they would come over. But even our parents knew that we didn't like each other and never did they even try to fix things between us. I guess, in a way, that's what led to a lot of things going wrong eventually. But I'll come to that later. She moved out when she was 18 for college and I was really relieved because that meant I could finally be myself around the house instead of constantly trying to walk on eggshells because of her. She would only come back for the holidays and brag about how great her life was since

she was going to one of the best business schools in the state. I was a little jealous of her, but my only priority was to work harder than her and get into someplace better than her, which I did get to do because I got into an Ivy League school. So that was a pretty huge slap on the face for her and I was celebrated in a much bigger way than she ever was. I thought that getting into an Ivy League school would put an end to our competition, but that didn't happen since one day she just announced that she was starting her own business and with some help from my dad, she actually did it. Now I don't know if it was luck or just hard work, but it took off a couple of years ago and she moved to Japan to expand the technology aspect of her business. It was a grand

success and our parents were proud of her. That was about two years ago and since she was. Since then she has been living in Japan. But unfortunately, things were not really going well for me after I graduated from college and the fact that Stacy was accomplishing so much just added salt to the wound. I had found a job but it was nowhere near as glamorous and satisfying as whatever she was doing. So I quit soon after I joined. That turned out to be a huge mistake and I know it because I should have just stayed there and worked my way up, but I was being a fool and competing with my sister when in fact,

I should have just been focusing on myself and my career. It was a really stupid move of me and I regret it, but it's done now. After I quit my job, there was a phase where I was waiting for something to just fall into my lap and when it didn't happen, I started getting depressed. It also didn't help that Stacy was doing great in her own field and her business was something that my parents would brag about constantly. I hated it, but I couldn't even say anything without sounding bitter and jealous. Even though I was feeling both of those things, I had to hide it whenever I met with my family and pretend to be happy for Stacey, because anything other than happiness was an unacceptable emotion. That was around the time that I met my husband, Jackson, 25M. I'm so glad that I did

because meeting him practically changed my life. It had been about six months since I had quit my job and had been waiting for some better opportunity to come by but with no such luck. Like I said, I was really depressed and I was getting very frustrated with my life so I downloaded a dating app. I wasn't exactly looking for anything, I just wanted to hook up with people and use it as an outlet to distract myself from how badly things were going for me. I was struggling to cover rent and even by the basic necessities for myself. I had to depend on my parents for money. They would send me money every month. I also had a certain amount of money set aside from when I was working but none of it was enough and I was really struggling with the bills. My parents would help me out and I would promise them every month that I would return all the money to them. As soon as I was able to I could always hear the disappointment in their voice and

that just drove me crazy because I knew that I was not doing my best and it was very difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that at that moment, Stacey was doing far better than me and I was a huge disappointment to my parents. So I was using dating apps and random dates with me I didn't even like much to distract myself from my feelings and for a while, it worked. I went out on a few days for a few weeks with me who was only interested in hooking up and nothing more. It was mostly just casual, but that changed after I matched with Jackson. He was a really interesting guy to talk to it first and he ticked all my boxes. He had also been a straightest student when he was in school, but after he graduated from high school,

he actually went to culinary school and was working in a restaurant when he matched with me two years ago. He was funny, charming, and just the right amount of masculine. But at the time, I had told him that I wasn't looking for anything serious when he asked me out on a date after almost two weeks of talking to each other online. He told me that he was looking for something serious and was not interested in having a casual relationship, he was dating to marry. I liked the fact that he was honest and upfront about what he felt so I decided to give it a try, not knowing what was in store for me.

I went out with him after agreeing to a first date, just to see how it went. and it went incredibly well, it felt like he and I had known each other for years, and I think it was pretty much the best date I had ever had in my life. We had a lot of fun and with him, I really felt like I was not trying to prove anything, which was the first time that I had experienced that so that was a nice change of pace from the way that I usually feel around other people. It was an easy conversation and we just clicked. And I don't know what changed, but I decided to give our relationship a real chance. We went out on a couple of more dates, but after we had been together for just three months, I found out that I was pregnant. The only thing that I was

worried about at the time was how Jackson would react to it, nothing else because he already pretty much knew everything about me that he had to know. Within the first few weeks of our relationship, I had told him everything about myself and my family, especially the part when I had spent my entire life competing with my sister and trying to outdo her but being with him made me want to be a better person, a person of my own. He already knew everything about me and I think I knew everything about him too by that point. In fact, he had been the one to push me to snap out of my depressed phase and actively start looking for a job instead of just waiting for something to come to me. So I ended up taking back my old job in the company that I quit and I think it was one of the

best decisions that I had ever made. And when I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't really have a lot to worry about. By then, I had been working for almost a month and things with Jackson were also going really well. The only thing that I was concerned about was how he would react to this because most people would just think that it was too soon and back out of the relationship because they would get scared. But deep down, I really wanted to have the baby since it just felt right. I can't explain it in words, but I just felt ready to be a mother. And to my surprise, when I told Jackson about the pregnancy, he was actually really supportive. He told me that it was my body, so I could decide whatever I wanted to, and he would stick with me, no matter what I decided to do.

And when I told him that I wanted to keep the baby, there was nobody happier than him. He told me that he had actually wanted me to keep the baby because he felt like he was ready as well, even though he was young and had just been together for three months. He told me that he didn't want to sound crazy or come off too strong, which is why he had left it up to me, but my choice had made the happiest man alive. We agreed that even though we were having the baby, we would wait to get to know each other better before we got married. It was decided, we went through with the pregnancy and a couple of weeks later, we even found out that we were having twins. So that was another big surprise but we were rolling with it.

He moved in with me shortly after we found out about the pregnancy and introduced me to his parents around the same time. His parents were really sweet and they seemed to love all the kids equally, without ever forcing anybody to compete with each other. It seemed like a healthy family and it was the first time that I was ever seeing how it functioned because I have never experienced it personally. However, I was kind of skeptical about introducing him to my family because I knew that my parents were not going to approve of my life decisions. I was a bright student with a great future ahead of me, but I had decided to have kids with a man I had barely known for less than a year, and I had even moved in with him.

Any parent would disapprove of this, and my parents would probably lose their heads. So I kept putting it off until I started to show, and then, I knew that there was no hiding it anymore. I arranged a meeting with them when I was four months along and decided to tell them everything. I had invited them over to my house and had Jackson be there for me for moral support. They knew that I had been dating Jackson for a while, but they didn't know that I had been living with him and that I was also going to be the mother of his kids soon. So when I told them about it, I expected them to be angry and yell at me or something. But they reacted in a very unexpected way and actually seemed to be happy for me. They were thrilled and hugged me and stuff while congratulating me on the pregnancy.

And when I told them that I was actually having twins, my mother almost fainted out of happiness. It was an unexpected reaction but I was glad that they were not mad at me. In fact, after they got to know about it, they even threw me a party and announced to everybody that they were going to be grandparents soon. I had also told them that Jackson and I didn't want to get married just because we were having kids together. We wanted to live with each other for a while before making such a huge commitment and they were fine with that as well. They were really supportive of everything and I was shocked but it was a happy kind. I was just really grateful that my parents were on my side on this

because I would have hated it if they turned against me or tried to change my mind about things. I even talked to them about how they were being so supportive and I had had to actually not expected that of them. So they told me that they were aware that throughout our childhood, they had never really been good parents in the sense that they had never stopped my sister and me from competing with each other, and they thought that they were doing a good thing. They thought that they were doing us a favor by constantly pushing us to do better, but in doing so, they realized that they might have screwed things up for us in the long run. And this realization happened when they got to know that I had quit my job because I wanted to do something better

and they knew that this decision had been influenced by the fact that Stacey had started her own business and was doing really well, which is why I also wanted to do something of my own and outdo Stacey. I found it weird that they knew about this, even though I had never really mentioned it to them. But they said that as parents, they knew what was going on and they felt responsible for it. So they wanted me to know that they would be there for me no matter what and I didn't need to constantly compete with Stacey to prove that I was worthy of their love and affection. They would always love me and they were equally proud of both of us because we had always done our best and that's what mattered to them the most. It was a much-needed conversation and I'm glad that I talked things through with my parents because it made it a lot easier for me during the pregnancy and even afterward because I could freely ask my parents to help me out with the kids while Jackson and I were working.

They had told me that they had had a similar conversation with Stacey as well, but apparently it didn't really go as well as they had expected it to. She had just laughed and said that she didn't need them to say such things because she genuinely believed that I was a sore loser, which is why I was having a breakdown and that's why my parents were trying to cut me some slack by telling us that they were equally proud of both of us. But she knew what the truth was. She just refused to accept that our parents had been really trying to turn over a new leaf and be better parents. She was just convinced that she was more worthy of their love because she was doing better in

life by her standards. My parents told me that they would talk to her when she would come back for the holidays because online, it was just not the same. So they promised me that they would talk to Stacey and have the same conversation that they did with me so she would also stop trying to compete with me because up until that point, she had been going above and beyond and trying to make me feel bad. Ever since I had announced the news of my pregnancy, she had been sending me backhanded compliments and making stray remarks that were completely uncalled for in the family group chat just to put me down and make me feel bad about the pregnancy, even though I really didn't think there was any reason for me to feel bad about it. But to her, it was obviously

a failure and a huge one at that, because I was knocked up before marriage and was living with some guy who I barely knew. So to her, this was a huge one for her, and she believed that now, she could say whatever she wanted to me. It was really getting on my nerves, and I had almost wanted to leave the group chats several times, but my parents were the ones who convinced me to stay because they said that they were really trying to be better parents and they wanted us to stick together so I stayed for their sake. My parents promised me that they would put an end to this or at least they would try their best and if they were unable to do so, then I was free to leave the group. So when Stacy came back for Christmas, my parents told me that they were going to talk to her and they did, but unfortunately,

she was too far gone by then. Her sole aim in life at that point, first to humiliate me and make me feel as small as she could. She was insufferable that year, even though she had been quite annoying for the past couple of years before that as well because of her successful business. But that year was much worse, because not only had she just come back from Japan, but she had also come back, knowing that I was pregnant and not even close to her in terms of success and wealth. And she did not let go of even one opportunity to remind us of that, the entire time she was just bragging about herself and shooting me looks or even asking me if I was not happy for her. It was just really awkward and uncomfortable and I had

to leave the party early because I was trying really hard not to lose my temper or end up crying in front of everyone. So after that Christmas party, my parents tried to talk to Stacy so she would cut it out, but instead, she said that she had worked hard to get where she is and she wasn't going to let me take that away from her. So she was going to brag about it all she wanted. and I would just have to deal with it. So that is the point where I decided that I would cut ties with her and I left the group. My parents also believe that it was for the best. We hadn't spoken in two years and I had no idea what she had been up to,

but recently, I heard from a couple of my relatives that she was back from Japan with a baby. I heard about it for the first time around four weeks ago and apparently, it was a miracle baby who was just two months old. My parents told me that they had been on video calls with her several times before she came back and had never noticed anything of her, let alone that she was pregnant. She said that she had wanted it to be a surprise for everyone and said that she had become a mother and had recently gotten married to her husband, the father of her children, in a private ceremony, just a year ago, and now she was finally ready to talk about it.

The timing was nothing less than suspicious because pretty much everybody in the family knew that I was supposed to get married around the same time, but now thanks to her, everyone could only talk about her marriage and her daughter. She said that her husband was still in Japan because he had a lot of work and he couldn't make it, but she had come here with her daughter because she wanted her family to meet her. But I couldn't let something like that get under my skin because I was getting married and that was supposed to be a magical time. So even after she came back, I continued to avoid her. Unfortunately, it didn't matter anyway, because she found a way to ruin my wedding. She turned up on the day of my wedding, uninvited, just after the ceremony.

I'm honestly, just thankful that at least whatever happened, happened after the ceremony was over. She crashed my wedding, and when I saw her among the guests, I almost flipped out, but Jackson and my parents helped me calm down because apparently, she had snuck in, and if I made a scene, then I would just be right into her hands and make my wedding day all about her. So as long as she was not actively doing anything terrible, we could just let her stay and deal with it later. I was getting married in Jackson's aunt's farmhouse, so the security there wasn't tight anyway, which is how she managed to get the first place. Now, I kind of regret not spending enough money on security because had I done so, we could have been able to avoid a lot of things.

Throughout the time that she was there at the wedding, all that she was talking about was how she was incredibly lucky because of her miracle baby and how my children were illegitimate and didn't count because I had them before marriage. It was incredibly insulting because she was saying that to everybody that she met while socializing at my wedding and everyone who talked to, later on, came up to me and told me about it and I had to just smile and let it go because I didn't want to fight with her and ruin my own wedding. It was incredibly difficult but I was getting through it somehow. At one point, I almost lost it, but before I could even say anything, the place was stormed by the police.

I had no idea what was going on, but they made us seal the exits and we were locked in. Within seconds, they had arrested Stacey and it was really disorienting because there was a woman who was screaming and crying and holding the baby that was supposed to be my sisters and claiming that it was hers. After that, it was a blur of statements and handcuffs and stuff like that. It was not until much later that we figured out that the baby had not been a baby. Apparently, all the pictures that she had been showing us were taken from a friend's social media account, and she had photoshopped herself into it like some sicko.

And the worst part of it was that all the times that she had met us with the baby, she had actually been babysitting for her friend. She had been living with her friend ever since she came back from Japan because she had ended the lease on her own apartment and was looking for a place, so she was babysitting for free, which is why she had never invited our parents or our relatives to visit her and had only been visiting them. On the day of my wedding, she decided to take it a little far and attend my wedding without her friend's consent. What she had done was take the baby out while her friend and her husband were asleep and refused to take any calls afterward, which is why her friends had to get the

cops involved and have her arrested. Thankfully, she had been talking incessantly about my wedding and how she wanted to take me down, so her friends had been able to guess where she would be. And that's how they had been able to track her down and have her arrested. It was literally crazy and I can't believe that it happened but it did in my family and I have still been having a hard time coming to terms with it. To think that Stacey was extremely competitive was one thing, but knowing that she was actually willing to go to such extreme psychotic lengths just to prove to our parents that she was better than us, was very concerning.

Now she is begging her friends not to press charges against her because she's obviously not going to win that one she'll end up in jail. So nothing has happened yet. But for some reason, she's blaming me for all of this and claims that apparently, I was only getting married to rub it in her face. Now let's not forget that I haven't been in touch with her for almost two years and haven't even spoken to her ever since our last interaction. I had even been gracious enough to let her crash my wedding because I didn't want to make a scene and humiliate her. She is the one who took my wedding and turned it into something ugly, if anything, should be the one blaming her. So yesterday, when she reached out to me and told me that I needed to convince her friends

that I had driven her to do something crazy, I told her that I wish she would end up in prison because that's where she belongs. Either that or the psych ward because she is crazy. But right now, my parents think that I need to help her out and convince her friends that she was not thinking straight because I had been tormenting her with the news of my marriage and kids. just so that they don't press charges against her and get her arrested. So far, since she had been living with them and babysitting the infant anyway, the case is a bit more complicated and the police haven't been able to figure out what to do about it and can't proceed without the consent of her friends.

It would have been a clear-cut case of kidnapping. Had she not been living with them and actively taking care of their baby in their absence? But that's not the case here. So that's why she still managed to evade being jail. And she has been claiming that they had already consented to her taking the baby with her, but there is no way yet to confirm it. So she's not in trouble yet. All we need to do is convince them, but I'm not sure I want to do that.

I really don't think that she deserves any help from me, of all people. But my parents think that it will be wrong on many levels for me to turn my back on her. So I'd offer wanting my sister to end up in jail. Update 1. Okay. So I have decided that I'm going to cut ties with my entire family, including my parents. Yeah, they were very helpful during the pregnancy and after birth, but I'm just done with them now. I think I need my space for a while and whether they are supportive or not is secondary to me right now. I just want to be with my husband and kids, period. And I can't do that if I'm getting caught up in their drama. So I want to be out of this because it's really

messing with my head now. And I'm grateful for my parents and everything that they did after I announced that I was pregnant, but I'm just really tired of everything. As for Stacy, I think it's very obvious why I don't want to help her. She doesn't deserve my help. And she dug her grave herself so she can get out of it on her own. Jackson thinks that it's the right choice and yeah, that's it. Update 2. So I just heard from a couple of my relatives that Stacey is in big trouble because her friends have decided that they are going to press charges and pursue this matter further. So far, Stacey has been claiming that she had her friends consent to take the baby with her whenever she pleased, but that's going to be difficult to prove in court and given her behavior during

the wedding and how she had been claiming the child to be her own. I can't think of any way she can get out of this. It's upsetting, but honestly, I can't say that I'm surprised. I'm also not speaking to my parents currently and I don't think I will until they tell me that what I did was the right thing and they're sorry for asking me to help her, which is a lot to ask. But I don't want to speak to them until they realize how badly they had messed things up for Stacey and me as kids. They need to really understand that this is partly their own doing. Update 3. Hi. So Stacey is on trial right now and we don't know what's going to happen to her, but she's looking at jail time for around five years now if she gets convicted, but she is

mentally unstable so that might get cut shorter. Anyway, that's not our business. So Jackson and I are still going on our honeymoon and we are going to try and make up for a terrible wedding. I can't ask my parents to babysit because we are still not on speaking terms. So we are going to have to ask Jackson's parents to watch our children while we are away, but it's just going to be for two weeks, so it's not a long time. I'm just hoping that my honeymoon is better than the wedding and I have a feeling that it's going to be since that will just be me and Jackson.

I hope you enjoy this story. Former spouse persuaded me to resign from my employment before abandoning me during my pregnancy, and convinced my mother to provide evidence against me in a legal setting. Several years later, my mother discovered that he had manipulated images using software. Fake evidence I've had a really rough couple of years recently, but I'm just managing to get back on my own two feet this year and it's been difficult, especially since I don't have any support from anyone. I blame my ex-husband for most of this because he's the one who pretty much ruined my life

and left me on my own about a year ago. My ex-husband, Ezra and I had been together for two years before we got married. We were married for three years before he decided to leave me last year, while I was in the second trimester of my pregnancy. Ezra and I met when we were 22, just starting out as a couple of new employees in the same company. We worked together for a few months before he finally asked me out, and then, we started dating. While we were dating, everything was great, and soon enough, we decided to get

married. After that, everything started going wrong for me because I think knowing that I had a ring on my finger now, and I was totally committed to him made him take me for granted. At first, he talked me into quitting my job so I could stay at home full time and take care of the household. I was a little skeptical about it initially, but then, I decided to go for it because my mother herself had been a psalm and my dad had always treated her very respectfully. But unfortunately, I did not realize that Ezra was nothing like my father and within half a year of me quitting my job, we started having trouble with money. He and I used to work in sales, so it was all commission-based and I guess he was not doing well. So I tried to talk to him about going back to work again since we were clearly

struggling with money, but he got really egoistic and accused me of not trusting him to be competent and capable enough of managing the finances on his own. He told me to stick to my work around the house and not worry about the money, and we started fighting about these things because I thought that he was being very disrespectful towards me, especially given the fact that due to our lifestyle, we had to rely on my savings way more than I would have liked to. But after every fight, he would always apologize to me and emotionally manipulate me into forgiving him. I really loved him and I wanted to make it work, so I would end up forgiving him in spite of myself. This ended up turning into a cycle, he would disrespect me and then apologize to me and make it up to me and I would

end up staying. It was all very emotionally exhausting, but at the time, I still had this faith that I could make it work with him. I put up with it for a really long time, but even that was not enough for him to stay and he filed for a divorce eventually. And to make sure that he wouldn't have to pay any alimony, he went above and beyond in his attempts to make me look like a cheater. Last year, when I was around 10 weeks pregnant, my ex-boyfriend from high school reached out to me and asked me to meet him for coffee. I don't think it would have been a big deal if we had just been a short-term fling, but unfortunately, he and I had a really long history. We had started dating when we were just 13 and he had my first and only serious boyfriend before I met

Ezra. My ex, I'll call him David, and I had been together for almost six years before we mutually decided to break up in college. He had chosen to go to college out of state and we tried to make it work long distance for a year, but it just wasn't going well and we started to have a lot of misunderstandings. So instead of letting it drag on and end on a bad note, we decided to end on a good note in mutually parted ways. After that, we tried to stay friends for a while but we just drifted apart gradually. And after I met Ezra, nobody else stood the chance because I was head over heels in love with him. Ezra knew about David and he had never had an issue with it, so when I asked him if I could meet David for coffee since we hadn't seen each other for a really

long time, Ezra agreed to let me go without any complaints. I had gotten to know from a couple of old friends that after he had graduated from college, David hadn't come back and had moved to New Zealand to stay with his uncle and had been working there ever since. After that, he rarely ever visited, and even when he would, he would only see his family and go back quickly. So last year, he had taken a proper vacation to come back home and meet everyone and that's why he had asked me to meet him as well, for old time's sake. Ezra knew about all of this because I had even made him read the message that David had sent to me, and it was purely platonic, there was nothing romantic about it at all. But in spite of that,

When he brought it up in court, he made it sound like I had always been in love with David and that meeting at the coffee shop had been the first of many secret meetings. Even though it was the one and only time that I had met him after our breakup. He didn't have any evidence. He just claimed that he had seen me and David holding hands together but hadn't managed to get a picture because he was so horrified and what was worse was that he managed to get a couple of our mutual friends to testify against me too. However, what really sealed it for me was my mom's decision to believe Ezra and testify against me. We had been having our usual fights while I was pregnant anyway, but as time went on, the fights got worse because he started getting more agitated about the finances, and with a baby

on the way, I couldn't even blame him for it. So I tried my best to cut down on our expenses, but even that would make him mad so I just decided to rely on my own savings without telling him so he wouldn't get mad at me for questioning his competency to support us on his own. But I guess none of that was enough because eventually, he served me with divorce papers after one fight since I hadn't spoken to him for about a week, but that was just because he had called me and our baby parasites and I couldn't stand for it because he was the one who had made me quit my job and told me that he would handle everything.

For me, I wasn't even mad about the fact that he had been calling me names, but the fact that he had even dragged our unborn kid into it was unacceptable. When he served me with the divorce papers, I was beyond shocked, and my first instinct was to apologize to him, to beg him to stay but even after that for hours, it did not work and he told me that he was going to leave that day itself and that he wanted nothing to do with me or the child anymore. And true to his word, he packed his stuff and left and soon enough, he sent me legal documents seeking to terminate his parental rights.

A court hearing would be held soon, and all I had to do was respond and attend. But that was only about the custody of our child, the divorce was a whole mess that I still had to deal with. So I got in touch with a friend of mine who works in a law firm and she put me in touch with one of their best divorce attorneys and even paid for me since I could barely afford her. It took me a week to make up my mind about what to do, but eventually, I decided to go through with the divorce, but on my terms. I had been very unhappy in this marriage anyway and realized that the only reason I had been begging him to stay was because that's just what I was used to, I was used to him but if I was getting the opportunity to start again, it would be foolish to let it go. Especially given the fact that I was going to become a mother soon, I did not want to let my bad decisions ruin my child's life. So I decided to agree to the divorce,

but I wanted alimony to be able to support myself, at least until I'd made enough money after I started working. I thought that it was fair enough because Ezra himself had convinced me to quit my job earlier and filed for a divorce now, it was on him to make sure that I was taking care of. That's where the problem started because he was not willing to pay alimony at all, and he started manipulating and starting the fact to make me look like a flirt who would constantly hit on other people right in front of him. And apparently I'd also been living off of his money for the past three years after quitting my job on my own and expecting him to take care of everything. He even claimed that the baby hadn't even been his idea. He had not

been fine with it, but I had still gone ahead with the pregnancy in spite of his protests. So no, that he owed me any alimony because it was the only way for me to get more money out of him after he had completely drained his savings, which is what I had done and not him. The only way he had drained his savings was while trying to impress people, while I had actually drained my savings trying to support us without relying on him too much. And then, of course, he started accusing me of having an affair with David and said that he had personally seen us together but had apparently forgiven me because he wanted to make it work, but now, he couldn't do that anymore. Things got really messy and ugly, and I got my friends to testify for me by telling the truth,

but he got his friends to completely character assassinate me and make me out to be some sort of gold-digging flirt. I even got David to testify and acknowledge that he had only been here for about a month before he went back to New Zealand and he had only met me once but Ezra claimed that we were lying and I guess somehow. He even got to my mother ultimately. The first of my final nail in the coffin was my mother's decision to testify against me and claim that it was totally believable that I was having an affair with David because I had always had a soft corner for him and as far as she knew Ezra, he would never do anything to hurt me, so I was probably lying. And when we finally wrapped up the entire thing, I did not get any alimony and my

mother cut me off as well. He also managed to get out of being a responsible father by terminating his rights but I'm glad that it happened because I wouldn't want somebody like him to be a part of my son's life anyway. At least I still get child support, no matter how small the amount is. After the divorce, when I realized that I was not going to get any support, I decided not to waste any time crying over spilled milk and started applying for jobs immediately. The divorce had been finalized a month after my son was born and since I had been heavily pregnant while I was in the process of getting divorced, nobody was willing to hire me so I had been living with my friend who had put me in touch with the lawyer and she had been kind enough to bear all my expenses.

too. After I gave birth, I got a job within a month and I started working again. It didn't pay much and I couldn't afford to move out of my friend's house for the first couple of months, but eventually, once I had saved enough, I moved into a small apartment. Everything has been a huge struggle for me but with a little help from my friends and a few family members, I've been able to make it work while juggling work and motherhood. I've always felt very guilty leaving my son with other people while I'm at work, but I know that I had to do it. And to make up for that guilt, I decided to splurge on my son's first birthday party that's coming up in a week. I've already sent out the invitations to all my friends, my family members who have been helping out, and a couple of my

co-workers. It's going to be a bit expensive, but I just got a new job two months ago and it pays much better, so I can afford to splurge a little. Besides, I've already started repaying all my debt so I figured I could afford to spend a little on my son as well. But somehow, my mother found out that I was throwing a birthday party for my son, and she was really offended that she hadn't been invited, which I think is very surprising, given the fact that she is the reason I'm having to struggle so hard to be able to give my son a good life. She unblocked me on social media and reached out to me a few days back and did not even bother to apologize to me. She just started acting entitled right away and told me that she was very offended that she hadn't been invited to my son's birthday party.

Even though she was the grandmother and probably the only grandparent in the picture since my in-laws don't have any contact with me and my dad had passed away a few years back. So, she went on to accuse me of alienating her grandchild from her and demanded that I invite her. And she didn't stop demanding an invitation. She said that now she wanted to be actively involved in her grandson's life, and she wasn't going to tolerate my narcissistic and selfish behavior anymore. I was shocked that she had the audacity to say something like that, especially after everything that she had done. Not only did she make me lose out on the alimony with her testimony against me, but she had been the one to cut me off and block me everywhere after Ezra manipulated her.

I'm not sure how somebody can get manipulated to testify against their own daughter, but well, that's what happened and it clearly means that she doesn't love or trust me enough. And I still remember that after her testimony, when I had reached out to her to confront her and ask why on earth would she do something like that, she had replied to me saying that she wanted nothing to do with me or my fatherless son and that she did not owe me an explanation for what she had done because I was a cheater and I had failed her. After that, she had been the one to block me so I really think that she is the narcissistic and selfish one here because she didn't even bother to apologize. She just started making demands as if she was entitled to it. So when I read that message from her, I lost my temper, and I replied immediately, saying that I was not going to invite her to any event and she didn't deserve to be a part of my life or my son's life anymore. She's a huge part of the reason why we had been struggling for the past year and now, since she can't fix our life, she doesn't deserve to be a part of it either. Then, I blocked her and I thought that would be the end, but now, she has started contacting all my friends, family members who were close to me, and even a couple of my acquaintance.

from school, to try and get me to talk to her again so she could explain why she had done what she did in the past. She's been telling everyone that she wants me to know that she's sorry about how she had treated me and she's even apologetic about her tone in the message that she sent me recently. But she just needed one chance to talk to me and explain whatever was going on with her so I could have all the facts and then make up my mind about whether I wanted her in my life or not. But here's the thing, I don't even want to give her a chance to explain. Whatever her reasons were, I don't want to hear it because, in my opinion, no reason can ever be good enough to ruin my life as my mother and that's the fact of the matter. I'm just kind of skeptical about telling people

this because it might sound too cold-hearted so I just haven't been responding to anybody yet and I've been in two minds about what to say, so why did I for not wanting to hear my mother out about why she testified against me during my divorce? Update 1, I have decided that I'm not going to change my mind. I thought about it, long and hard, and I literally could not think of a single explanation that she could give to me where I would feel like forgiving her. Whatever she did, it was unforgivable and now I want nothing to do with her and that's what I've told all my friends and family members who she has been reaching out to. I told them that I really appreciated the fact that they passed on the message to me,

but I really want nothing to do with her, and if she contacts them again, I want them to just block her because this is not something that they need to be involved and I don't understand why she's been dragging them into it anyway. It's been a few days since then and my son's birthday is in general. two days, so that's what I'm focusing on. I've already made all the arrangements and stuff, it's just some last-minute stuff, but I'm still trying to keep myself busy so that I don't have to think about the situation with my mother. For a really long time, I've been suppressing all of this, and I've been successful in doing so because I'm so busy all the time that I hardly

have time to think about whatever has happened in my life. I keep myself occupied and it's very easy to do that so that I don't have to think about all the things from last year and even from before that because it's not like Ezra and I was never problematic in the beginning. We were always just wrong for each other. But now, because my mother had reached out to me, it became a little difficult for me to say none of that had ever happened and just keep moving on with my life. I had allowed myself to get weak for a couple of days and let this take over my life, but I'm back to normal now. I know that I have to power through all of this for my son and that's what I'm going to be doing. I have no time for people like them. I know it's probably not

a very healthy approach before anybody decides to comment on it. I'm aware of it, but I can't really afford therapy right now, not only financially but also I really just don't have the time for it. Maybe someday when I'll be slightly more financially stable. I'll think about unpacking all of this with a professional, but until then, I guess I'll just keep doing whatever has worked until now. But anyway, all that aside, thank you so much to everybody who commented on my post with advice for me. It was all really helpful and definitely made me feel much better. Update 2, hey, so my son's birthday was almost two months ago, and back then, after I had told everybody that they should ignore my mom's messages, everybody had done that and she hadn't talked to me after that.

In the past year, I had been quite busy so I hadn't been able to attend any family events either and everybody could understand why so it's not like they took offense. But last week, I finally managed to take some time off and attend my cousin's engagement party with my son. There, I finally met my mother in person after more than a year and I was kind of taken aback to run into her, but after they got over my shop, I decided to just ignore her and get on with my day.

For the first hour, we did not speak to each other, but then, she came up to me and started making small talk. She seemed very happy to see my son as well. and tried to interact with him, but he was really shy, so he just kept hiding behind me. Anyway, there were a lot of people at the party and I did not want to be rude to her and throw a tantrum, so I decided to be polite to her. I told her a bit about my job and my son, and she told me that she would like to grab some lunch with me soon if I would be open to that.

Once again, she started telling me that she had a lot to tell me about everything, and that's when I decided to tell her that I was glad that she was trying to make amends, but I really didn't want that for myself right now. I told her that the conversation was over, and then I walked away and surprisingly, she was respectful of it and did not bother me after that. And I've been thinking about it because I might not forgive her even after hearing her out, but I really do want to know what she has to say. I'm not doing this because I want to salvage our relationship or whatever. I don't have any hopes like that, but it's purely out of curiosity that I want to meet her and hear her out. I have been thinking about it ever since I met her, and I have even spoken to a couple of friends about it.

They think that if I want to get an explanation and maybe get some closure, then I definitely should talk to her because it'll probably help me. So after giving it a lot of thought, I decided to reach out to her after unblocking her yesterday and I told her that I would like to grab lunch with her today. I'm not taking my son with me because I'm not sure if I want to forgive her or not, and if I don't, I don't want her to get attached or whatever. Update 3, so I came back from lunch with my mom about two hours ago and, boy, there's a lot to unpack here.

As soon as I got to the restaurant, she started thanking me for even showing up, and once we had ordered some food, she did not waste any time beating about the bush and immediately started telling me the last year. Ezra had visited her and shown her a lot of screenshots and pictures and totally convinced her that I had been cheating on him with David. He had even gone to the extent of showing her a screenshot from David, where he was bragging about how the two of us were going to take his money and go off to live together. He had told my mother that he hadn't presented any of this to his lawyer because he did not want

to humiliate me even more since he still loved me, but I think the real reason he did not bring any of that up was probably because all of that was made up, photoshopped and fully fake. It had been just enough to convince my mother because she didn't have any other way to confirm the truth, and it had probably seemed real to her the experts would have found out the truth. Anyway, that's how he got her to testify against me and she had been very upset with me, but when she heard about her grandson's first birthday, she felt even more upset because not only was she losing out on time with me since I was a cheater. She was losing out on time with him too just because of my mistakes and that's why she had

been so entitled while messaging me first. But after the message that I had sent back to her, she started doubting herself and that's when she reached out to David to ask him if he had sent any message to Ezra and he showed her proof that he had never even spoken to Ezra. That made her realize that maybe Ezra had lied to her, so she tried to contact him and when he hung up on her as soon as she asked him about it, she realized what a huge mistake she had made. So she tried to get everybody to talk to me and get me to unblock her but by then, it was too late, and I had decided that I did not want to forgive her or even hear her out. She could totally understand why I did not want to give her a chance

because she told me that if she had been in my place, she probably wouldn't have wanted to hear me out either because this was a huge betrayal, so she did not bother me further. She had been trying to be respectful of my boundaries, but she knew that she wanted me to know the truth about what had happened because now, she felt like she could finally help me out

and maybe we go back to court again and get Ezra to pay the alimony that he owed me. Since the only way he got out of it the first time was by accusing me of cheating and lying about everything. So we definitely had grounds to ask for alimony now and with her help, she believed that we could get it done. It was a lot to process and I didn't know how to feel about any of it, so I just told her that I needed some time to think things over and that's what I'm going to be doing now because all of this has been

heavy and I feel really weird right now. I don't know if I want to forgive her, I don't know if I even can because I've gotten used to being mad at her. I'm trying to understand her point of view as well, but it's difficult. I don't know if I should go back to court and demand alimony again if there's even any point to it anymore and I just don't have any answers for anything right now. I guess I'll have to take my time and think about everything before I do something. Update 4. Hey, guys. So, it's been close to six months since my last update, and here's the deal. I decided to go back to court to enforce alimony payments and we went through the whole negotiations and stuff again, but this time, my mother was on my side. And I even reached out to all his friends

who had testified against me the first time around. He had manipulated them the first time, so I decided to do the same thing and I played the most emotional card I could think of, the I'm a struggling single mother all because of you guys' card. Technically, I wouldn't even call it a card that I paid because it was just the truth that I used against them. And I guess a lot of them were already feeling quite guilty

for testifying against me and they were ready to testify in my favor this time with the truth. When I told Ezra about it, I said that I was willing to give him a chance to settle out of court as long as he coughed up the money that he owed me and I guess he knew that there was no way out of it anymore. So he decided to agree and now, I'm going to be receiving checks every month until I decide to remarry. And if I wanted to get back at him, I would have decided not to marry ever again, but I don't think I'm going to do that because I have recently started talking to David again. He reached out to me recently to apologize for not telling me about it when my mother had contacted him to ask about whether he had ever spoken to Ezra, back when she was trying to to confirm if Ezra had lied to her or not. He told me that he had wanted to bring it up with me, but at the time, we hadn't been on talking terms because of the divorce and everything and it was just awkward. He reached out to me back then and since then, we've just never stopped talking. We are still figuring things out, but I have started developing feelings for him again and he has confessed that he never really fell out of love with me anyway, which

is why he hasn't been able to get serious with anyone. He lives in New Zealand and keeps trying to get me to visit him, and I might do that soon. My mother and I are also working things out, and it's going well so far. Honestly, I'm just figuring things out for myself at the moment, and I'm not too sure about anything, but I know that I'm loved, and that's all that matters. But my priority right now is my son, and that'll always be true, no matter what happens.