Reddit Stories - UNWANTED Guest_ The COSTLY Demand for INDEPENDENCE_

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #unwantedguest #costlydemand #independence #familydrama #relationshipadviceSummary:A family struggles with an unwanted guest who makes costly demands for independence, causing tension and conflict. As they navigate this challenging situation, they seek advice on how to handle the guest's behavior and maintain harmony within the household.Tags:redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, unwantedguest, costlydemand, independence, familydrama, relationshipadviceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Allow my cousin to reside in our home during her college years, but she insisted on having a vehicle. Upon my denial, my spouse's relatives journeyed 1,200 miles to reprimand me for not being a decent host. Wife because I refuse to fund spoiled Sills car. So my in-laws live quite far away and we don't really get to see them often. My husband, 26M, and I, 25F, have chosen to live away from my family. his family on purpose because they can be a little overbearing at times. We have been together for

six years and married for three and we only moved away two years ago. To be honest, his family was not the only reason for us moving. Since I got a pretty good job, and the kind of money that I would make from the job justified having to move away from our city. My family was fine with it and they were even happy about us moving away because it meant that I would be working in a better place, but his family was the one who had a problem with it. They tried to talk us out of it and claimed that it would be very difficult for us to live completely by ourselves in a strange new place, but our minds had been made up. His family was also quite unhappy about the fact that my husband was going to have to give up

time with his family for my sake since I was the one who wanted to change jobs as if it was a crime to want to move ahead in my career. And just for the record, my husband did not mind moving someplace else and leaving his family behind for my sake, because when the money came in, it would belong to both of us. Also, he mostly works from home so it doesn't really matter to him where he lives. Anyway, even though his family had always liked me in the beginning, for the past two years things had been pretty strained between us. My husband and I still tried to keep in touch though, and we do visit home at least once a month, but that's about it.

We were fine with this, but then, around six months ago, my sister-in-law told me that she wanted to move in with us for a couple of months because she was planning on going to college nearby. The college she got accepted into is literally just a 30-minute drive away from our house and I didn't know if this was something she had planned or if something that just organically happened. But she asked my husband if we would be willing to let her live with us for free because she didn't want to live on campus and her parents were not ready to pay for an apartment. Apparently, the reason she did not want campus accommodation was because the rules were a little too strict and she wanted to have a certain degree of freedom, which she believed

she would get if she stayed with us. And my husband's family was also fine with her staying with us, so we decided to agree after some discussion. It was mostly because from what I've known in the past, my sister-in-law is a good kid, but I hadn't expected her to change so quickly over the past couple of years. When my husband and I moved away, she was just 16, and even then, she was pretty sweet. After we moved away, we only met a handful of times and hadn't exactly spent a lot of time together, so we didn't realize that she had turned into a totally spoiled brat. My husband is not really that close with his sister, mostly because of the huge age gap, so he had no idea that she had changed so much. Of course, she was being very nice to us when she wanted us to agree to let her

stay rent-free while she was in college. But after she moved in with us, she started showing us her true colors, and in the past six months, we have realized that she is not really this sweet little girl that we used to know in the past. She has been spoiled rotten and has a terrible attitude problem. We had agreed to let her live with us on one condition, that she would try to look for a job so she would be able to pay for accommodation herself and move out so she could get an apartment. And she had agreed that in a couple of months, she would start looking for jobs around here that she would work at alongside college. Then once she had saved enough money, she and a couple of her friends would find an apartment and she would be out of my hair.

Even her parents had been fine with this arrangement, so I thought that she would be looking for jobs but every time that I would ask her if she had made any progress on that, she would get annoyed with me and roll her eyes and it was just very weird because it's not like she was doing a favor to me. She also had no respect for our time and energy because she would come back home late frequently, without even bothering to tell us where she was the entire evening. And every time that this would happen, she would come back drunk. in the middle of the night and my husband and I would have to let her in after having stayed up, worried sick since we didn't even know where she was. We told her not to do that several times

and even threatened to complain to her parents about her behavior, but she would apologize to us profusely, be on her best behavior for a couple of weeks, and then end up doing the same thing again. And to top it all off, she was also a huge slob who left her things all around the house and we were the ones who ended up having to clean up after her. So needless to say, she had our very last nerve for the past six months and we were just waiting for her to move out so we could go back to our old life. My husband loves his family and has always adored his little sister but honestly, there is a limit to what one can tolerate. And she and my husband's family crossed that limit recently, which is why we decided to kick her out. So far, we had only been putting up with

her because she's a lot younger than us and we didn't have it in us to be harsh with her. But a couple of days ago, she approached the two of us on the weekend and said that she had been finding it very difficult to commute to college every morning because she was used to sleeping and late but if she wanted to take the bus, then she would have to wake up super early or else she would end up missing her first class. I thought that she was going to tell us that she had finally decided to live on campus so she would get some extra time in the morning, but instead, she told us that she had been thinking that maybe it was about time that she had a car of her own here so she could just drive to

college. She had already taken driving lessons in high school and had a driver's license, but when she used to live with her parents, she used to drive her dad's car. However, now, since she turned 18 just a couple of months ago, she believes that it is time for her to have a car of her own here since that would be pretty convenient. It was very confusing because we had no idea why she was saying that to us and not to her parents, and my husband even offered to speak to his father about it, but she told us that she had already spoken to her, and apparently, my in-laws had told her that she needed to talk to us about it because we were responsible for her since my father-in-law had retired recently.

So now, if she wanted a car, we were going to have to fund it for her and that's why she had come to us after speaking to her parents. At that point, I didn't even know who I was mad at, my sister-in-law or my husband's parents. I tried to explain to my sister, as politely as I could, what her parents had suggested was just not realistic because even though we were making good money right now. We planned on starting a family pretty soon and we were going to have to start saving for our own future as well. So there was no way that we were ready to take up her responsibility, especially not financially. I thought that she was going to be reasonable about it, but I was obviously wrong because

as soon as I started talking to her, she understood that we were going to decline and instead of just accepting it gracefully, she started stomping her foot and said that she didn't care how we arranged it, but she wanted a car in now. My in-laws and I could talk it out amongst ourselves, but she just wanted a car by the end of this month. And then she locked herself in her room and refused to come out until dinner, to be honest. It was only her brother who tried to talk to her for a couple of minutes, but after that, he gave up too because he was also quite frustrated. We were already allowing her to live with us without paying rent, even though she blatantly disregarded our way of living and now, on top of that, she expected us to bow to all her whims and fancies.

We were also pretty mad at his parents since they had no right to tell her that we were not responsible for her just because my father-in-law had retired. So after my sister-in-law told us what her father had said, we called him up or at least we tried to contact him, but we did not receive any response. It also came as a huge shock to us that my father-in-law had apparently retired, not because we didn't know anything about it, and nobody had even told us, but also because he was not even close to the age of retirement. He was just around 53 and it wasn't even like he was seriously ill and couldn't continue working. Besides, he and my mother-in-law had both quit their corporate jobs about seven years ago and had been running a moderately successful accounting firm

since then. So it wasn't even as though they had very high-pressure jobs and were still not making enough money for themselves. They were definitely rich enough to cover all the expenses for my sister-in-law, but just didn't want to. But that day, they did not respond to us, and neither did we hear back from them for the next two days. My sister-in-law also did not speak to me or her brother for those two days. Then, on the third day, my in-laws finally showed up at our house really late in the evening around the time that we were supposed to have dinner. It was a huge shock because ever since we had moved here, my in-laws had only come here once, on the day of our housewarming party. After that, they had never bothered to show up and always had an excuse ready, like it was just

too far for them to travel at their age or that they didn't want to bother us, even though we had never said that it would be any trouble for us. The real reason that they never visited us here was because they wanted me to know that they did not approve of the fact that I had decided that my husband and I were going to live away from them and they didn't need to tell me about it, I just knew. I guess they just didn't understand that it was not a decision that was solely mine, even their own son wanted some space away from them, but whatever, that's not the point. The point was that they had never come to visit us in the past two years, but just because we had refused to fund my sister-in-law's demand for a car, they had driven all 1,200 miles just

to speak to us about it. Apparently, as soon as we had declined to fund the car, my sister-in-law had immediately called her parents up and told them all about it and that's why they had not been responding to our phone calls and messages. They had kept in touch with my sister-in-law for the past two days and since she had told them that my husband and I had apparently refused to speak to her or even acknowledge her existence in the house after we had that fight, they had decided to come all the way here to sort things out. The day before they visited, they had decided that they couldn't let this go on anymore and they needed to talk to me. I was a bit surprised that they said that they needed to talk to me because I couldn't imagine that I had done anything wrong,

but I still heard them out. And after they were done talking, I realized that they had basically traveled all the way here just to lecture me on how to be a good wife. Because throughout the speech, they kept insisting that my husband had made a lot of sacrifices for my sake and the least that I could do for my in-laws was at least be supportive of my sister-in-law now.

He said that he and my mother-in-law had chosen to say that they had retired in now, my husband and I would have to support my sister-in-law because they had their own old age to think about. He hadn't actually retired, they just wanted to see how I would react and I had disappointed them by declining to help my sister-in-law out. They claimed that I was being selfish because I had already moved away from them and kept their son away for two years and now when I had the chance to make it up to them by financially

supporting my sister-in-law, I was refusing to do even that. They started lecturing me about how, after marriage, my husband's family is also my own, and I should start treating them like my own family and respecting them the same way that I respect my own parents. While they were speaking, I was actually in disbelief because I couldn't imagine anyone being so tone deaf. It was the fact that they were calling me selfish for not wanting to fund my sister-in-law's decision to buy a car, especially since she didn't even need one right now. Even though they were the ones who were refusing to cover any of the expenses for their own daughter and my husband and I had been the ones to allow her to live with us without any rent. It was the

hypocrisy of the situation that really ticked me off. And there was also the fact that they thought telling us that they had retired and were not going to be able to pay for any of my sister-in-law's expenses anymore, and she was our responsibility now, just to test us, that was simply awful. So after they were done lecturing me, I could have yelled at them, but I just chose to deal with it as calmly as I could, and I told them that they were right about me being a selfish person. So now, since I was so selfish, I had made up my mind that my sister-in-law was no longer going to live with me since neither she nor her parents had been paying rent for the past six months, and I was done letting people take advantage of me and my husband and for free, on top of that.

I knew that my sister-in-law had believed that she had won up me by contacting her parents and bringing them here to speak to me in person. She had probably believed that I would just fold, but I had had enough of my husband's family. and even my husband couldn't tolerate their behavior anymore, so he decided to stand by me. So when I said that she was no longer welcome to live with us anymore, they started arguing with me, but there was simply no point, and even when they turned to my husband for help, he said that he agreed with me, and that made the argument even worse. After a certain point, all of us were just getting at each other and it was getting incoherent, so I told them that they could either

all leave voluntarily or I would gladly call the cops to make them leave. My in-laws cussed me out, but eventually, they left, along with my sister-in-law, who was sobbing like a baby. That happened two days ago and since then, we had no contact with his family, my husband, and I had a discussion about it, but both of us were actually fine with not having any contact with them. However, all of them showed up again this morning, but it was only to collect all the things that my sister-in-law had left behind. The energy was very different this time, it was very obvious that they were not here to reason with us, but they were done with us as well. It was all very quiet and cold between us and once they were finally done packing, they were about to leave, but my mother-in-law

chose to turn around and tell me that even though we were fine with what we were doing right now, we would look back on it in a couple of years and would regret letting our family go so easily over something so petty. And addressing me, she told me that if my husband was in agreement with me right now, he would definitely end up resenting me in the future because I know he has always loved his family, even though he hasn't always gotten along with them. But now, I'm the reason that he has had to choose between his family and his wife, and no matter how we are dealing with it right now, he will definitely resent me for it, and I will have no nobody to blame but myself because I've always been the kind of person to put myself above everyone else. Personally, I thought it was a very

dramatic and unnecessary thing to do, but anyway, after that, she left with my father-in-law and sister-in-law. I was kind of weirded out by what she said, so I decided to address it with my husband and speak to him about it. I wanted to make sure that he was fine with our decision because honestly, everything that we have done so far has been our decision and not just mine. And he reassured me that he was fine with whatever was going on because it was his family who were overstepping boundaries and we had every right to cut them out of our lives if we thought that they were getting too toxic. Most importantly, we had tried our best to be good to his sister, but she had just grown up to be extremely spoiled and entitled and he blamed his parents for that.

And even in this situation, it was his family who was to be blamed and not me for reacting the way that I did. So he told me exactly what I needed to hear to feel better, but for some reason, I still don't feel too sure that my mother-in-law was wrong. I don't know why exactly I've been feeling this way, but ever since she said all those things, it has been pretty much. playing in my head nonstop and I can't seem to get it out of my mind. I've spoken to my husband, my parents, and even my friends about it, and everyone thinks that we did what was right for us and we don't need to feel guilty about it. But I still kind of feel bad and guilty now since, in a way, I did tear him away from his family. Maybe not directly but all the issues that have

been created have indirectly been because of me and I don't know, I just feel weird about it. I've never really sat and thought about it the way I have as of late and I'm just afraid that my mother-in-law might be right. So even though I've asked a lot of people about it, I felt that asking random people who don't know me, but only know the situation might be better for my own peace of mind. So, I'd have for kicking my sister-in-law out of our house because she had complained to her parents about me and my husband not buying her a car? Update 1, hey. So I'll start by explaining exactly why my mother-in-law's words really got to me. Recently, I've been feeling a bit iffy about the fact that because of me, my husband really never gets to see or speak to his family anymore.

My mother recently celebrated her birthday a couple of weeks back and I couldn't be there for her because I had to work and I couldn't just travel to go see her because I couldn't afford to miss even a single day that week. And I had been missing my parents a lot since I missed my mom's birthday because I had been I've hardly ever missed any birthdays in the past couple of years apart from this one. My husband was there for me and both he and my mother reassured me that it was fine, it wasn't a big deal but to me, it felt like it was. And while I was thinking about that, it just hit me that because of me, my husband's family hardly ever bothers to keep in touch with him anymore,

and even his sister has become so spoiled that she doesn't seem to care about his feelings much either. His parents were right that he doesn't particularly get along with them and they disagree on a lot of things, but I always knew that he was very attached to his family in spite of everything. So that's why I had been feeling guilty because I felt like I was the one standing between his family and him. And after making that post, I decided to speak to him about it once again, because I had to get it all off my chest. And thankfully, he reassured me that no matter what was going on with his family, he did not think that it had anything to do with me and had everything to do with their massive overinflated egos. If they couldn't keep that aside, he was not going to talk to them either

and for him, his priorities were always going to be clear. Ever since he got married, his priority has always been me, and he knows that he is my priority as well, which is true. So as long as we are clear about that, he is never going to resent me because nothing that has happened so far has been my own decision solely, but he has also been an active part of it. After speaking to him about it openly, I felt much better about everything. And of course, most of the people in the comments section also agreed that I did not have to blame myself and that my mother-in-law had just been trying to get inside my head and she had succeeded.

But my relationship with my husband is a lot stronger than she thinks and is going to take a lot more than just a couple of words to break us apart. Anyway, it has been a couple of days since we last saw them and we haven't had any contact with them since then. It's fine, though, I don't really really. care anymore and I don't think my husband does either. Update 2, so two weeks ago, my sister-in-law left, and we stopped speaking from my in-laws altogether. Since then, we haven't had any contact with them, but recently, about three days ago, I heard from my parents that my in-laws had returned

and the first thing that they did after coming back was contact my parents to tell them they were really disappointed in how I was behaving. Because it's not like I've only known them for a couple of years, we have known each other and our families for the past six years and that's a really long time. My in-laws told my parents that apparently, they had always believed that I would treat them with the same kind of respect and love with which I treated my own parents, but they had obviously been mistaken since I did not seem to care about them at all. And they were really disappointed because they had always considered me as their own daughter and had always treated me like that, too. That's honestly not true because even though they had been very kind to me in the beginning,

ever since my husband and I moved away, they had been really passive-aggressive every time that we visited, and of course, there was also the fact that they never made an effort to come to see us. My parents had visited us several times over the past two years and it felt like they were willing to make an effort to keep in touch with us, but my in-laws didn't seem interested. Initially, my husband and I tried our best to be there for them by visiting every month but every time that we would visit,

they would just act very weird to me, and it was obvious that they were still not ready to accept. the fact that we had moved away from them. Even then, we still kept trying because we felt guilty, but after one point, we got busy with our lives and then, they started guilt-tripping us about how we did not try hard enough to keep in touch with them. So honestly, there was never any winning with them and I'm glad that they're not in my life anymore. Even my parents did not take any of my in-laws' BS and told them that if my husband and I had decided not to keep in touch with them, we must have had our reasons and they were going to be respectful of that

and maintain the distance as well. I guess my in-laws had expected that speaking to my parents would be helpful to them because they had believed that my parents would speak to me and then eventually, we would end up apologizing to them, but I guess they didn't see this coming. Anyway, I'm glad that my parents are supportive of me and I really wish that my in-laws could have also been supportive of my husband because I know that it would have meant the world to him. Right now, though, he's just embarrassed by how his family has been behaving and I don't even blame him.

Update 3, hey, so it has been a couple of weeks since I last heard from my in-laws and we are pretty much over it. I think it's been almost a month and a half, but I don't think they are over it yet, especially not my sister-in-law, since she sent me a message last night on Instagram. She told me that apparently, after I kicked her out so heartlessly, her parents decided that they were going to get her everything that she wanted because clearly, they had failed in raising one son, but they were not going to fail her. So currently, she is living in an apartment with her friends and also has the car that we had declined to buy her. Like I said, it's not like my in-laws could not afford to cover the expenses of my

sister-in-law. They just did not want to because they wanted to test us or whatever. I don't think it was a test. I think they just didn't want to waste their own money by throwing it all away on my sister-in-law. They wanted us to do it because obviously in one way, they wanted to punish us for moving away, and moreover, I guess they really liked the idea of putting us to a test, and then when we inevitably failed because we're not idiots, they would get the opportunity to make us feel small. Honestly, I'm glad that my husband and I failed by their standards because that just means that we are reasonable people and not pushovers.

I made my husband read the message that my sister-in-law sent to me and honestly, it was just disappointing so we decided that we were going to block all of them. So far, we hadn't done that because it seemed petty and unnecessary but right now, I don't think that it matters anymore. So we have blocked them and we are going to focus on our own life now. And I know for a fact that in a couple of months, his family is going to come crawling back to us, apologizing for everything because my husband and I are planning on starting a family.

We are going to start trying for a baby in a couple of weeks and once the baby is born, I'm going to take some time off and move back so that I can be closer to my family. I've already spoken to my employers and they think it's a good idea because they have been thinking about branching out and I can help them with that. Nothing has been finalized as of now, but that's the plan. I can't wait for all of it to happen though because my husband and I have been thinking about this for the longest time and we finally know that it's the right time to go ahead with it and start a family of our own.

We are very happy with how things are right now and we know that in a couple of months, we are going to be even happier.