Reddit Stories - UNWAVERING Love_ From Raising NEGLECTED Baby to Facing ENTITLED Daughter's Demands_

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #unwaveringlove #raisingneglectedbaby #facingentitleddaughtersdemands #familydrama #parentingchallengesSummary: A tale of unwavering love unfolds as a parent navigates from raising a neglected baby to confronting their entitled daughter's demands. Emotions run high as past neglect and present entitlement collide, testing the limits of familial bonds and personal sacrifices.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, family, parenting, drama, love, neglect, baby, daughter, demands, challenges, emotions, bonds, sacrifices, relationships, growth, supportBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

cared for my sister's neglected infant as my own child for 25 years, and later her privileged daughter asked me to purchase her a new vehicle. When I declined, she damaged and defaced property. Destroyed my son's car. So I, 43F, have a complicated family situation that goes back many years. My sister, 47F, had a baby when she was 22 when I was 18. Let's call him Luke. Right from the beginning, my sister and her then-boyfriend, now husband, showed almost no interest in Luke. I'm not exaggerating, they basically acted like he didn't exist. They would go out partying, leave him with whoever was available, and not even check in. There were times when I'd come home from school and find him in a soiled diaper that hadn't been changed for hours.

After a few weeks of this, I couldn't take it anymore. I was young and terrified, but I stepped up because nobody else would. I ended up taking care of Luke most of the time. My grandmother, God bless her soul, watched him while I finished my last year of high school. In exchange, I would clean her house and cook for her on weekends. It wasn't ideal, but we made it work somehow. My parents weren't much help either. They'd give me about $100 a month for Luke, which is nothing if you've ever had to take care of a

formula alone ate through that in no time. Diapers, clothes, doctor visits, it all adds up so fast. Me and my grandmother were the only ones who actually gave a shit about him. I remember having to skip senior prom because I couldn't afford both the dress and Luke's formula that month. Not that I regret it, but just to give you an idea of what it was like. About a year after I graduated high school, things got even worse. My parents decided they'd had enough of having us around. I came home one day to find my stuff packed in garbage bags by the front door. My sister straight up told me she wished she never gave birth to Luke. Who says that about their own kid? I can still remember his little face looking up at me,

not understanding what was happening. So my grandmother and I went to a family law attorney, and my sister and her husband signed away their parental rights to me. Just like that, signed the papers like they were getting rid of an old couch or something. I got full custody of Luke when I was barely an adult myself. I moved in with my grandmother. She watched Luke while I went to community college and worked part-time at this shitty retail job that barely paid minimum wage. The manager was always trying to get me to work extra shifts,

but I had to study and take care of Luke, so it was this constant battle. I was always exhausted. Sometimes I'd fall asleep studying at the kitchen. table and wake up with drool on my textbooks. It was fucking hard, especially when my grandmother passed away when Luke was six. Those first few weeks without her, I didn't know how we'd survive. She left most of her stuff to me and her will, which suddenly made my parents and sister interested in reconnecting with me and Luke. Yeah, right. They thought they could swoop in and get a piece of the inheritance. The house wasn't even that nice, just a small two-bedroom in an older neighborhood.

but it was ours, and it meant we had a stable place to live. That little reunion didn't last long. I told them they could either act right or never see us again. My dad actually chose to make an effort and now we're pretty close. He helps out with the kids sometimes and calls regularly. My mom and I don't talk much, but at least she's decent to Luke when she sees him, which isn't often. Around this time I met my now husband at the community college.

He was taking night classes while working days. We hit it off right away, but I was super cautious about introducing him to Luke. I didn't want Luke getting attached to someone who might not stick around. We dated for a year before I finally let them meet. I remember being so nervous I could barely eat that day. Luckily, they bonded almost immediately. My husband is great with kids and treated Luke like he mattered from day one. He would play those stupid video games with him for hours and never complained.

He'd even read him bedtime stories using different voices for each character. Little things that mean everything to a kid. When Luke was eight, both me and my sister got pregnant around the same time. I found out first, and then about a month later heard through my dad that my sister was expecting too. And wouldn't you know it, my sister suddenly decided she wanted Luke back in her life. She started calling and asking to see him. At first I thought maybe having her pregnancy had made her realize what she'd thrown away,

and maybe it would be good for Luke to have some relationship with his birth mother. Boy, was I wrong? She started telling him that me and my husband wouldn't love him anymore once my actual son came along. She would say things like, they're going to have their real baby now, so they probably won't want you anymore, or when their real son is born, you'll see how different they treat him. fucking cruel shit to say to a kid. We only found out about this when Luke broke down crying one day, asking us not to leave him. He was sobbing so hard he could barely get the words out.

When he finally told us what my sister and her husband had been saying, I was seeing red. Luke knows he's not my biological son, but he is absolutely my son in every way that matters. We've always been honest with him about where he came from, but in a way that made it clear he was wanted and loved. I cut contact with my sister and her husband again after that. We did family therapy and individual therapy for Luke. The therapist said some kids internalized rejection from birth parents and blame themselves, so we wanted to make sure Luke knew none of this was his fault. When I had my second child, actually my first pregnancy, weird to think about it that way,

I made sure Luke knew our love for him hadn't changed one bit. The first few months with a newborn and an eight-year-old were tough. I was recovering from a C-section, breastfeeding around the clock, and trying to make sure Luke didn't feel left out. My husband took some time off work to help, and my dad would come over sometimes to take Luke to the park or movies so he could have special time without the baby. Luke was actually great with his brother, so gentle and protective right from the start. A couple years after that, my sister reached out again. She sent this long email saying she'd been wrong and wanted to make amends.

I wasn't buying it at first, but she kept trying. After talking it over with my husband and Luke, we decided to go low contact with her. Just to be clear, low contact means seeing them at some family events and sometimes letting my niece, my sister's daughter, spend time with my kids. Nothing more. I never left Luke alone with her, and I always checked in with him afterwards to make sure he was okay. Over the years, my husband and I have done pretty well for ourselves. He finished his degree and got a good job in his field, and I eventually got my nursing license. We bought a bigger house in a nice neighborhood with good schools.

We live comfortably while my sister and her husband struggle financially sometimes. They're always between jobs or having some crisis or another. Her husband will work for a few months, then quit because he doesn't like the atmosphere or some bullshit. They've moved like four times in the past 10 years because they keep getting evicted. My kids do extracurricular activities. Luke played baseball for years and now does debate club, and my younger son is big into football and computer programming. They get nice presents at Christmas and birthdays, and we take one big family trip every summer. Last year we went to the beach for two weeks and rented this house right on the water. My sister and her husband can't afford

much of that. Their daughter, my niece, doesn't get to do many activities or go on trips. I do feel bad for her. It's not her fault her parents are the way they are. When my niece was around nine, my sister started making comments about how I needed to pay for this or that for her. At first it was little things, like school supplies or new shoes. Then it escalated to wanting me to pay for dance classes, summer camp, a new phone. I told her that wasn't my job. I told her that wasn't my job. job. I gave my niece nice gifts for her birthday and Christmas, and took her out shopping or to the movie sometimes, but nowhere near how I treat my own kids. Why would I? I remember one time my sister called asking me to pay for my niece's school pictures because she forgot it was

picture day and didn't have the money. I sent her $30 for the basic package, and then found out later she used it to buy cigarettes instead. My niece didn't even get her pictures. After that, I started buying things directly for my niece instead of giving money to my sister. There were a few years where things were relatively calm. We'd see them at family gatherings, exchange pleasantries, and go our separate ways. My niece would come over sometimes and hang out with my boys. They'd play video games or watch movies, and it seemed fine. No major drama, just the occasional tension when my sister would make snide comments about

our house or car or whatever. So now my second son is turning 17, and my husband and I were talking about getting him a cheap starter car. We did the same for Luke when he turned 17. Nothing fancy, just he used Honda with decent mileage and good safety ratings. Luke had to contribute some of his own money from his part-time job, and he's responsible for gas and helping with insurance. It's been a good lesson in responsibility for him. My niece is also turning 17 around the same time, and my sister's apparently told her she was getting a car too. The problem is, my sister can't afford to buy her a car, so she asked me to do it. Just called me up out of the blue and said, so Emily's birthday

is coming up and she's expecting a car like her cousins got. I was thinking you could handle that since you guys have so much money. I was honestly stunned. I told her I wasn't going to buy her daughter a car. I didn't promise one, and it's not my responsibility. My sister got mad and started going on about how I think I'm better than her and how I've always been the favorite and how unfair it is that her daughter has to suffer because they're not as fancy as us. I told her maybe if she or her husband held down a job for more than six months at a time, they could afford things for their daughter. That was probably a low blow, but I was pissed. My sister got mad and didn't talk to me for a while, kind of nice T.B.H. I thought maybe she dropped the whole car thing and was figuring out an

alternative for my niece. Maybe a payment plan or helping her get a job to save up, you know, what normal parents do. But no. That would be too reasonable for my sister. Then came my son's 17th birthday, and we surprised him with a car. He was so excited, jumping up and down and hugging everyone. It was a nice moment. A couple days later, my niece called me screaming and crying, asking why I hate her and why I can't treat her the same as her brother, meaning Luke. She said she'd been telling all her friends she was getting a car for her birthday, and now she was going to look like a liar and it was all my fault. I tried to stay calm. I explained that things are different. Luke is my son, she is my niece. I'm her aunt and nothing more. As an aunt,

my job is birthday presents, Christmas presents, and showing up when it matters. That's it. Then I told her that her brother, meaning Luke, will always be more important to me than she'll ever be. As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they sounded harsh. But it's the truth. Luke is my son. I've raised him since he was a baby. I've been there for every fever, every nightmare, every heartbreak, every triumph. Of course he means more to me than my niece who I see a few times a year. That's just how it is. She started yelling at me again, saying I'm being unfair, and hung up. Then my sister called to berate me about how I need to do more.

She said I was playing favorites and it wasn't fair to Emily. I told her if she hadn't promised a car to her daughter or my money to my niece, none of this would have happened. I said maybe she should try being a parent instead of expecting everyone else to provide for her kid. It's been a couple days, and I'm getting calls and texts from some family members and some of my sister's friends calling me a bitch and other nice things. My aunt, my mom's sister, called and said I should be ashamed of myself for not helping family in need. I wanted to ask where the fuck she was when I was 18 taking care of a baby that wasn't

mine, but I just hung up instead. I do feel bad because my kids did grow up with more, and maybe I could have helped more. But a car? That's a huge expense, and my niece hasn't done anything to earn it. My boys both maintain good grades, do chores around the house, and have part-time jobs. They've shown responsibility. My niece barely passes her classes and has never worked a day in her life as far as I know. So Ida for what I said to my niece? Update 1, holy shit, I wasn't expecting this post to blow up like it did. all the awards and stuff, I guess. But more importantly, thanks for all the advice. I really appreciate everything everyone had to say, even the people who think I'm the asshole. Some of you made good points about how I could have handled things better. First, I want to clear something up since a lot

of people seemed to be misunderstanding. I never let my sister hurt my kids like some of you think. The low contact was mainly for my niece's benefit. When birthdays or holidays were coming up, we would talk about when I would pick up my niece, how long I would keep her, and when I would drop her off. My sister has never kept my kids, never been to my house, and never talked to them without me or my husband being there. Some people asked why I didn't cut contact completely after what happened when Luke was eight. Honestly, I probably should have. But my dad was trying to keep some semblance of family together, and I guess I felt guilty or whatever. Plus, Emily was just a baby then. it wasn't her fault her mom is the way she is.

Another reason for keeping a civil relationship with my sister is because Emily and my second son, let's call him Justin, went to the same school. So my sister was at any school events they had. It would have been awkward as hell to completely ignore her at every band concert or football game, especially with other parents around. So we did this weird dance of being polite in public and mostly avoiding each other otherwise. My kids and niece had a good relationship. before this car situation. Justin and Emily were in the same grade and had some classes together

over the years. They weren't best friends or anything, but they got along fine. Justin would help Emily with math sometimes because she struggles with it. Emily and Luke had a friendly relationship too, though there's a bigger age gap there so they weren't as close. I always made sure my kids were happy with how much my sister was in their lives, which was basically not at all except for some school events and occasional family gatherings. Luke especially, I always checked in with him after any interaction with my sister to make sure he was okay. He's a good kid with a big heart, but he doesn't trust her, and I don't blame him. So, two days after Emily's angry call, I decided to meet up with her at a park near my house. I thought neutral territory might be

better than having her come to my home. It was one of those unusually warm spring days, and I remember thinking how ridiculous it was to be having this conversation on such a beautiful day. When we met, Emily seemed normal but tired. She had dark circles under her eyes like she hadn't been sleeping well. I bought us both ice cream, probably not the best lunch, but whatever, and we sat at this picnic table away from everyone else. I told her I didn't mean to hurt her but she needs to understand it's not my job to buy her a car because I'm not her parent. I tried to be gentle, but I also wasn't going to sugarcoat it. She said she understood but was jealous that Luke and Justin got everything they wanted. I had to correct her on a couple things. First, Luke isn't her brother but her cousin.

I know biologically their siblings, but in terms of how they were raised, their cousins. Second, my boys don't get everything they want, they work for what they get. They get good grades, do chores, and stay out of trouble, mostly, there was that time Justin tried to sneak out to a party, but that's another story. I asked her what the real reason was for her behavior, since she never had a problem before with the differences in our lifestyles. She was quiet for a long time, picking at the wrapper of her ice cream cone. Then she started crying, saying it wasn't fair that Luke and Justin get everything while she gets barely anything. That Luke lucked out by being adopted by my husband and me. That she deserves what my sons have because she's family too, so I have to

take care of her. I felt bad for her, I really did. It's not her fault her parents are shitty. But I also wasn't going to take on responsibility for her like I had for Luke. That was a different situation entirely, and I was a different person then, young and maybe a little naive about what I was getting myself into. I told her that yes, she's family, but not my child. I do love her, but she's not my responsibility. Her parents are the ones who need to step up and provide for her. If they can't afford a car right now, maybe they could help her get a job so she can save up

or look into other transportation options. She just stared at the ground, not really responding. So I asked why she feels so strongly about this, why it suddenly becomes such a big issue when she's never complained before about the differences in our lives. After a while, she said that even though her parents take care of her basic needs, she feels like she's just an obligation to them. She's jealous because she thinks we don't see our boys as an obligation. She said we're always together and always

work through problems and help each other. And even though I kept her in my life and took her out with my family sometimes, she was always jealous that she had to leave while Luke got to stay. Sometimes I wish you had taken me too, she said, which honestly broke my heart a little. But also, what was I supposed to do? Kidnap her as a baby? Her parents never neglected her the way they did Luke. They're not winning any parent of the year awards, but they feed her and clothe her and keep a roof over her head. I explained that while I understand her feelings, I'm not going to treat her as my kid. I didn't raise her, but I do love her. It's her parents' job to get her a car or help her get one.

She got upset again, saying I clearly don't care about her, and she left. I sat there for a while, feeling like shit. After I got home, my husband, and I talked about the whole situation for hours, we decided to call my sister. I told her that my family and I are going full no contact. We're done with the drama, done with the guilt trips, done with all of it. My sister asked how I was going to stay in touch with Emily. I said Emily is almost an adult and can contact me if she wants. Then she asked if I was going to get Emily a car, and I said, and I said, said no. I told her it's her job because she's Emily's mother and needs to act like it. Emily needs her to be a mom. Then I hung up and blocked her number. I expected that to be the

end of it, at least for a while. But the next day my mom called, saying I should at least give Emily some money for a car if I won't buy her one. I said no and hung up quickly to avoid a fight. Then I called my dad and explained everything, and he agreed with me. He said he'd talk to my mom and try to make her understand. But I guess that didn't go well. Later that week, my dad asked if he could come over. When he showed up, he was really upset. Apparently, my mom gave a big chunk of money from their retirement fund to my sister. This caused a huge fight between my parents, and my dad ended up packing a suitcase and staying at a motel for a bit. I felt terrible. Here I am in my 40s, and I'm still causing problems between my parents.

parents. My dad insisted it wasn't my fault that my mom made her choice, but I still felt responsible somehow. I offered to let him stay with us, but he said he needed some space to think. So now I'm no contact with my sister and mom, and low contact with my niece for the time being. My husband thinks we should just cut ties with everyone except my dad, but I'm not ready to completely write off my niece yet. She's young and still figuring things out, and it's not her fault she was born into this mess of a family. Thanks again for all the advice everyone gave me. It's helped me feel less crazy about this whole situation.

Update 2, a lot has happened since my last update, and not much of it good. About a week after my last post, I decided to talk to Emily again. I felt bad about how things ended at the park, and I thought maybe we could find some middle ground. I texted her asking if she wanted to meet up, and she agreed, which surprised me. We met at my home this time while everyone else was out because I wanted us to talk privately. It was a rainy day, and I remember thinking the weather matched the mood, all gray and gloomy. When she arrived, she wouldn't look at me.

She kept staring at the floor or her phone. I asked if I could give her a hug, and she nodded. The minute I hugged her, she started crying and apologized for how she acted. I told her she didn't need to apologize, that I understood she. was disappointed and hurt. We sat in the living room with mugs of hot chocolate, and I asked her more about how her parents treat her. She said her dad treats her well and tries to spend time with her, but he's busy working two jobs. He drives for Uber in the evenings after his day job, so he's hardly ever home. My sister is home more but usually keeps to herself and doesn't

like to be bugged. Emily said sometimes she'll go a whole day without really talking to either of them, even when they're all home. I asked if Emily feels neglected, and she said no, but they don't have much family time because her parents argue a lot, especially about money. She said sometimes her mom makes her feel like an obligation, but she knows they love her. It's just that they're always stressed about bills and rent and stuff. I asked about the money my mom took from the retirement fund. Emily said she and my sister were going car shopping soon. I was surprised my sister, told her about where the money came from, but I guess she doesn't see anything wrong with taking from my parents' retirement. I didn't say anything negative about it to Emily, though, that's

between my sister and my parents. Then I brought up her calling Luke her brother and asked if she really feels that way about him. She admitted she sees him as a cousin and just thought playing the brother card would make me more likely to help her. She explained that even though they're biologically siblings, they've always been cousins to each other. I asked if she knew her. how I ended up adopting Luke, and she said yes. Her dad had told her the blunt truth while my sister had sugar-coded it. Just to be clear, Luke only sees her as a cousin too. To Luke, his only sibling is Justin. They're super close, always have been. Luke's protective of Justin but also gives him shit like any older brother would. I felt like we were making progress,

so I offered to pay for therapy for her. My husband agreed when I discussed it with him later, and she said she'd think about it. I also suggested we could do a fun day out together on Saturdays, no Justin or Luke, she got excited about that idea, so that weekend we had our first day out. We went to this restaurant she'd been wanting to try, one of those fancy places where they make the food right in front of you. It was expensive, but seeing her smile was worth it.

Then we went to a bookstore because she loves reading, and I bought her some books she'd been wanting. She seemed genuinely happy that day, and I thought maybe we had turned a corner. But then the following weekend, everything went to shit. Emily and I were supposed to have our second weekend out, but I had to cancel because Justin ended up in the hospital. During football practice, he started wheezing and took his inhaler but didn't wait long enough before continuing.

He's had asthma since he was little but usually manages it well. This time, though, he got tackled hard, which knocked the wind at the wind out of him and caused a bad asthma attack. This happened on a Friday, and Justin stayed in the hospital until Sunday. It was scary as hell, there was a point where his oxygen levels dropped really low and they were talking about putting him on a ventilator. Thankfully it didn't come to that, but I barely left his side the whole time. Emily and I were supposed to go out Saturday. That morning, I called to cancel, but before I could explain why, she started yelling that I never cared about her and hung up. I was shocked but also dealing with my son in the hospital, so I didn't

have the energy to chase after her. I tried calling back, but it went straight to voicemail. I texted that I was sorry but Justin was in the hospital, and we could have our day the next weekend. Never heard back from her. I gave up trying to reach her after a couple days because I was focused on getting Justin back on his feet. Then came the moment that changed everything. Two days ago, my family and I finally went out for dinner, our first night out since Justin got home from the hospital. About halfway through the meal, our neighbors called saying they'd called the cops because someone was vandalizing one of our cars. When we got home, the police were there, and it was Justin's car. It had scratches all over it, dense where someone had taken something hard to the body,

and spray paint saying fuck you and spoiled brat on the sides. Two windows were broken, and glass was everywhere. Justin was devastated. He just stood there looking at his car, not saying anything. We checked our security footage, thank God for those cameras my husband insisted on installing last year, and could clearly see Emily and some girl I didn't recognize vandalizing the car. They were laughing and taking pictures of themselves doing it. The timestamp showed they spent almost 20 minutes destroying the car before our neighbor spotted them and called the police. My husband gave a copy of the video to the police, and Emily and her friend were arrested the next morning. I didn't push for the arrest, that was all the police once they saw the footage.

The damage is estimated at over $5,000, which apparently makes it a felony in our state. My sister and mom showed up at our house that afternoon, screaming that I was ruining my niece's life and if I loved her I would drop the charges. I tried to explain that it's not up to me anymore, the police are pressing charges based on the evidence. Plus, why should Emily get away with destroying someone else's property? What kind of lesson would that teach her? My husband is adamant that we don't try to get the charges dropped, and Justin and Luke agree with him.

Justin worked hard to contribute to that car, and now it's ruined. Insurance will cover some of it, but probably not all, and our rates will go up because of this. Not to mention the emotional impact. Justin doesn't feel safe now, knowing his cousin would do something like this. I talked to Luke about his feelings on all this. He's been quiet through most of the drama, but I wanted to check in with him since Emily is technically his half-sister.

He said he's over everything and thinks it's best to cut contact with everyone, including Emily, because she's just like her mom. He said he's known for years that there's something not right with my sister, and he sees the same patterns in Emily now. So we're cutting contact with everyone except for my dad. He's been supportive through all of this and agrees that Emily needs to face consequences for her actions. My mom is still defending my sister and Emily, saying we provoke this by not helping with the car in the first place. It's like being back at Square One with my family, and I'm exhausted. I don't know what will happen with the charges against Emily.

She's 17, so she'll probably be charged as a minor, but it's still serious. My sister is threatening to sue us for defamation or some bullshit, even though there's literal video evidence of what happened.