Reddit Stories - UPCOMING SIBLING-IN-LAW has been making unkind remarks about my looks and CONTINUES to

Episode Date: November 7, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #siblinginlaw #bodyshaming #conflictSummary: My upcoming sibling-in-law has been making unkind remarks about my looks and continues to do so. I feel hurt and unsure how to address the situation without causing further tension in the family. Seeking advice on how to handle this delicate issue.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, siblinginlaw, bodyshaming, conflict, advice, support, communication, boundaries, confrontation, feelings, selfesteem, personalgrowth, emotionalhealth, familydynamics, socialinteractionBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Upcoming sibling-in-law has been making unkind remarks about my looks and continues to label me a monster, but my betrothed insists she's merely guarding him, until I unearthed she's been secretly trying to ruin our wedding plans. Hi, Reddit. I, 28F, am engaged to my wonderful fiancé John, 30M. We've been together three years and are planning our wedding for later this year. The issue is John's sister, Emily, 33M. Over the past few months, my future sister-in-law has been making really nasty comments about me.

She has always been a bit blunt, but lately it's crossed the line into downright cruel. Emily keeps implying that I'm not good enough for her brother, and she often makes digs about my appearance. To give some examples of the things she's said or done. She once looked me up and down and remarked, Wow, I always thought John would end up with someone slimmer and more put together. guess he really changed his type. It was an extremely backhanded compliment. At a family dinner, she joked to John in front of me, maybe love really is blind, huh? With a pointed look at me.

John scolded her lightly, but she laughed it off as just kidding. On another occasion, when we were discussing wedding dress shopping, Emily snarked, make sure they have your size. We don't want an ogre bride. Yes, she literally used the word ogre while looking at me. I was stunned and hurt. These are just a few instances. Every time I see her, there's some new insult wrapped in a joke or a concern. She'll comment on my makeup, my hair, my weight, or even my career, implying I'm not ambitious enough for her high-achieving family.

It's like she's picking apart everything about me. I've tried to not let it get to me, but it really hurts. I'm not a supermodel or anything, but I've never thought of myself as hideous. Hearing my future sister-in-law call me an ogre or imply I'm unattractive and unworthy has started to seriously chip away at my confidence. I find myself second-guessing my wedding dress choice and even whether I belong in this family at all. I talk to my fiancé John about how Emily's comments have been making me feel. He loves his sister and insists she's just being protective. He keeps saying things like, you know Emily has no filter, she doesn't really mean

it, and she's tough on everyone at first, it'll get better. He also suggested that maybe I'm taking her jokes too personally, because from his perspective, she hasn't been that bad. Easy for him to say, he's not the one being called an ogre. John has never outright told me I'm overreacting, but by constantly downplaying her behavior, he makes me feel like I am. He says things like, she had a very bad breakup ages ago and is wary of anyone dating me, for your info she is now married to a good guy, as if that justifies her rudeness. He believes Emily will come around eventually and that she's just looking out for him. Meanwhile, I'm starting to dread any event where I'll see her, because I know I'll come home feeling awful about myself.

For context, I have always been polite to Emily. I admired how close she and John were when I first met them. I've tried to bond with her, invited her to lunch, asked her advice about the wedding to make her feel included, but she either blows me off or uses the opportunity to make snide remarks. For example, when I asked if she'd like to go dress shopping with me and my MO, she said, I suppose someone should be there to stop you from picking something tacky. I was shocked. I ended up not inviting her to come along again after that comment, and now she holds that against me, claiming I'm excluding her from the wedding. I can't win. All of this has put me in a tough spot. I love John and I truly want to marry him, but his sister seems hell-bent on tearing me

down. I'm worried that if this continues, it could sour my relationship with John or even the entire wedding. Part of me wonders if she's actively trying to break us up by destroying my self-esteem or causing fights between John and me. It might sound dramatic, but that's honestly how I feel after enduring months of her hostility. John doesn't see it that way. He acknowledges Emily can be rude, but he thinks I'm interpreting malice where there is none. He keeps urging me to just ignore her or let it go because that's how she is with new people. But I'm not new anymore, and certainly not to someone I'll soon be calling family. I've told him I need him to stand up for me more firmly. He says he will talk to her, but I'm not sure he truly gets it if he thinks I'm simply oversensitive.

I'm starting to feel really alone in this. It's reached a point where I'm even considering whether Emily should be uninvited from our wedding or at least from being involved in the planning, because I don't want her negativity ruining the happiest day of my life. But if I even suggest that, I know John will be upset. This is causing real tension between us. So I need an outside perspective, am I overreacting here? Am I going to be the asshole if I set hard boundaries or exclude my future sister and

law from wedding activities because of her nasty behavior? I don't want to drive a wedge in their family, but I also don't know how much more of this I can take. Edit to add, some more info after reading a few early comments, a lot of you are asking about John's parents and how they feel. For the record, his parents are kind people and have never said anything mean to me. They haven't witnessed most of Emily's worst comments because she usually delivers them when no one else is directly listening, or she disguises them as jokes. I haven't explicitly told my future in-laws about the things she said, I was hoping it would resolve without dragging the whole family in. Also, some of you are wondering if this is about money or status, I don't think so. We're all

middle-class professionals, there's no huge wealth gap or anything. Emily and I do work in different fields, but I doubt that's it. It really feels personal against me. I genuinely don't know why she dislikes me so much. Update 1. Hey, a lot of you advised me to have a serious talk with John about laying down boundaries and standing up for me. Some suggested I even consider postponing the wedding or couples counseling if he wouldn't take my concerns seriously.

Trust me, those comments really hit me hard. I realized I do need to be more firm about this. So, before our engagement party, which happened just a couple days after my original post, I sat John down for a big conversation. I told him that I was not going to tolerate any more disrespect from his sister, and that I needed him on my side at the party and going forward. I explicitly said, if Emily makes any nasty comments, I expect you to call her out immediately.

Please don't brush it off. I also mentioned that the Reddit consensus was that her behavior is not normal protective sister stuff. In fact, a lot of commenters said it's toxic and that John should wake up to it. He seemed a bit taken aback that internet strangers were so invested, but he did listen. John admitted he's been trying to keep the peace and hadn't grasped how deeply this was affecting me. He said, OK, I'll talk to her. I'll ask her to be on her best behavior at the party.

And I promise I won't let her ruin the night for you. He still had this tone like he didn't think anything that bad would happen, but hearing me say I was genuinely considering disinviting her must have made an impression. He actually looked kind of upset and said, Please don't make any decisions like that until I try to fix it. I agreed to give it a chance, since he was finally acknowledging there was a problem. Fast forward to the engagement party. It was a modest event at a local hall with our families and friends to celebrate our upcoming wedding.

I was anxious beforehand, but hopeful that maybe things would go smoothly since John said he'd spoken to Emily. He told me earlier that day that Emily agreed to be nice. I wasn't there for that conversation, so I have no idea how it actually went or if she rolled her eyes or what. At first, things were okay. Emily greeted me with a polite smile when she arrived and even gave me a quick hug. I was shocked, she'd never hugged me before. I figured, okay, maybe she's actually trying. During the first part of the party, she stayed with her parents and the other relatives. John was busy mingling and so was I, so we weren't together the whole time. I kept glancing over and saw Emily laughing, seemingly having fun. I started to relax a little,

thinking maybe I had worried for nothing and that she'd behave. Well, I spoke too soon. Later in the evening, my maid of honor, my best friend, Claire, pulled me aside, fuming. Claire told me that while I was chatting with some of John's cousins, she overheard Emily Bellows. bad-mouthing me to a small group of people by the punch bowl. According to Claire, Emily was in a huddle with two of her own friends, who she'd invited as her plus ones, I guess, and one of John's aunts. Claire walked by just in time to catch Emily saying I was like an ogre for her brother. The context, John's aunt apparently commented that I seem sweet, and Emily responded with something like, she might be sweet, but let's be honest,

my brother is Prince Charming and he chose Fiona the ogre. Then one of Emily's friends laughed and added, Fiona at least turned into a princess eventually, and Emily replied, I'm not holding my breath. Yes, she really said that. At our engagement party, in front of other guests. When Claire told me this, my stomach dropped in my face went hot with embarrassment.

I honestly nearly started crying on the spot. Claire was livid and was ready to go yell at Emily. herself, but I asked her to hold off until I figured out what to do. I took a minute, took some deep breaths. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of everyone. It was supposed to be a happy occasion for us. Plus, John's elderly grandmother was there, and I didn't want a shouting match to upset her. I decided to find John first. I told him we needed to talk immediately and pulled him into a side hallway. I relate exactly what Claire had told me. I was tearing up, explaining that Emily was publicly humiliating me at our own party. As I told him, I could see John's expression

go from confused to surprise to angry, but his anger wasn't clearly directed. He said, are you sure she said that? That's, that's unbelievable, I said I trusted Claire 100%, and it's also exactly the kind of insult she's been throwing at me privately. To his credit, John did not dismiss it outright this time. He actually looked pissed and said, I'm going to go talk to her. I trailed behind and watched from a distance as John pulled Emily aside in the corner of the room. I couldn't hear the conversation, the music was kind of loud and they kept their voices low, but I saw John looking upset, gesturing a bit, and Emily sort of shrugging. At one point Emily looked over at me across the room and then Emily,

said something to John and walked off, grabbing her purse. She left the party early, basically storming out. John came back to me and said, I told her that was completely unacceptable. She claimed she was just joking and some people overheard out of context. I told her to leave if she couldn't be respectful. Apparently, Emily got defensive and said something like, fine, if you're going to take her side and accuse me of ruining your party, I'll go. So she did. John was angry but also looked strangely sad about how it went down. I was mortified that our engagement celebration had this kind of drama, but also incredibly relieved that John finally witnessed, secondhand, how awful Emily could be.

He put his arm around me and apologized, saying, I'm so sorry, I never thought she'd actually say something that mean in public. He kept saying he was sorry throughout the rest of the night. The party went on, though it was a blur for me. I managed to keep a smile on for the guests, and most of them didn't know anything was wrong, aside from those who saw her leave abruptly. Claire and a couple of my bridesmaids knew, and they were super supportive, forming a kind of protective circle around me to keep me distracted with positivity. I'm grateful for them.

After the party, John and I had a long talk at home. He assured me that he did reprimand Emily and that he would not tolerate her insulting me anymore. I asked him exactly what he said to her. He told me he said, I love her, and you need to stop this behavior or you won't be part of our lives. Hearing that did make me feel better. It's the strongest stance I've ever seen him take with her. However, and this is a big however, by the next morning John was already downplaying things

a bit again. He told me he had spoken to his parents and they were very upset that Emily left in the middle of the party. His parents apparently didn't know why she left, Emily didn't tell them about the confrontation, obviously. John filled them in that Emily made an ugly comment about me and that he called her out. They were apologetic to him and me, but also begged him not to make any rash decisions in the heat of the moment, like uninviting her from the wedding. They hadn't heard exactly what she said, just that it was an insult. Later that day, Emily texted John, not me, a half-baked apology.

from what John showed me, it read, Sorry I made a joke and caused drama at your party. I was just trying to be funny, didn't think you take it so seriously. I'll stay out of your hair for a while. Love ya. That didn't feel like much of an apology to me, more like gaslighting, calling it a joke.

I told John as much. He sighed and said, yeah, it was a crappy apology. I'll talk to her again later. So, that's where things stand right now. Emily is on a time out of sorts. We haven't seen or spoken to her since the party. John is being supportive in words, but I worry he might soften as time passes, because I can tell he hates conflict with his sister.

I haven't outright banned her from the wedding yet, but I'm seriously considering taking you guys up on that advice if she doesn't genuinely apologize and dramatically improve her behavior. For now, we're giving it a bit of time to see if she comes around on her own. John said he'll arrange a sit-down with her soon to clear the air and set firm boundaries. I'm not holding my breath, but we'll see. Update 2. Hi again, everyone. I wish I was coming back with a positive update, but things have instead taken a bizarre and troubling turn. I'm honestly still in disbelief as I write this. After the engagement party incident, I tried to detach from the drama

for a few days and focus on work and wedding prep. John and I have been a bit on edge, but he's been trying to act normal and supportive. Emily has remained radio silent towards me, no apology to me directly, and John hasn't had that follow-up talk with her yet because we wanted tempers to cool. I was still considering what to do about her and the wedding,

and reading more of everyone's advice here in the meantime. A lot of comments on my last update urged me to keep an eye on my wedding plans because some of you suspected Emily might try to sabotage things further, given how hostile she's been. Honestly, I thought that sounded a little far-fetched, like, who would actually go to the lengths of messing with someone's wedding? A couple days ago, I got a phone call that proved those warnings horribly right. I was at work during my lunch break when my cell phone rang. It was the bridal boutique where I'm getting my wedding dress. The manager wanted to confirm that I indeed wanted to cancel my final dress-fitting appointment.

cancel my appointment, I nearly dropped my phone. I told her, I absolutely did not cancel it. I had an appointment scheduled for next week to do the final fitting and pick up my wedding gown. This appointment was crucial. I've been looking forward to it for months. Why would I cancel it? The boutique manager was quiet for a second and then said, oh. Well, we got a call earlier from someone claiming to be you.

She knew your full name and deed. and said she needed to cancel the fitting and would reschedule later. It did sound a little off, so I thought I'd double-check. Thank God she double-checked. I have no doubt in my mind who that someone was. I asked what phone number the person called from. The manager said it was from my number on file, which is my cell phone. That confused me.

At first I thought, is it possible they misheard? But she was pretty certain, it showed my number on caller ID. I immediately opened my phone's call log and went through it. There was no outgoing call from me to the boutique that day, or ever, I usually just communicate with them via email. Then I remembered something, at the engagement party. While I was busy talking to an uncle, Emily had approached me and said, Hey, can I borrow your phone for a sec?

I think I left mine in the car and I want to take a group photo of the cousins. Without thinking much, I unlocked my phone and handed it to her. there were a bunch of people around, and I was in hostess mode, not really considering the risk. She did use it to snap a photo, then gave it back a few minutes later saying, Thanks, I'll send you the pick later. In hindsight, I have no idea what she did in those few minutes with my phone. Could she have quickly found my bridal shops number, maybe from my emails or texts, or even Googled it, and called them pretending to be me? It sounds nuts, but how else would the call seemed to come from my number. I was shaking as I realized this. Immediately, I told the

boutique manager that someone had impersonated me and that if anyone calls to make changes claiming to be me, to please require a password or at least double confirm via email. The manager was very understanding. She actually sounded equally shocked. She assured me my appointment was still on, and she even added a note on their system, Bride suspect scam caller, do not cancel or change anything without direct in-person confirmation. I thanked her profusely for checking with me. After hanging up, I just sat in my car, I was on my break in the parking lot, physically trembling.

I felt violated and furious. The audacity of Emily to do that. And to think, if the boutique hadn't felt something was off and called me, I might have shown up next week only to find my appointment gone or my dress unavailable. I don't even know what her endgame was, to delay getting my dress? To cause a scene. It's just pure cruelty. I immediately called John.

He didn't pick up, he was in a meeting at work, but I left him a voicemail and a text saying, We have a huge problem. Call me ASAP. It's about Emily. He called back about 30 minutes later, sounding panicked. I told him everything. John's initial reaction was, what? That's insane.

Why would she do that? that. He didn't want to believe it. He thought maybe it was a scam call or an error. I could hear the doubt in his voice, which frustrated me. I told him about the likely scenario of Emily using my phone at the party. He admitted she did borrow his phone at 1.2 that night, supposedly to play a song via Bluetooth. Now that made me wonder if she could have used his phone for anything else, but that's another thing. I could tell John was struggling to wrap his head around this. He said, I know my sister was being mean, but actually trying to meddle with your dress? That's extreme.

I basically yelled, exactly. It's extreme. That's why I'm so upset. He eventually said, if she really did this, I have no words. It's completely unacceptable. But we need proof it was her before making that accusation. Proof. I mean, the circumstantial evidence is pretty strong, but no.

I don't have video of her making the call. The boutique couldn't exactly provide me with a recording or anything, and even if they did, it's not like I could easily recognize her voice from a short phone call. Emily and I do sound a bit similar in tone, ironically, we both have the same regional accent. Perhaps that helped her impersonation. John asked if I wanted him to call Emily and ask about it. I told him I was hesitant because obviously she'd deny it and then know that we're onto her. Some of you on Reddit advised not tipping off a saboteur until you've secured everything.

So I told John to hold off on confronting her until we take some precautions. I half expected him to argue, but he actually agreed. I think he was starting to feel the seriousness when he heard how upset I was. That evening, we sat down together and made a plan, a lot of it inspired by advice I got from Reddit comments. So thank you guys. Step 1. Secure All Vendors.

I spent the next day calling every single one of our wedding vendors and service providers to double check all our arrangements. I spoke with our caterer, our venue coordinator, the florist, the photographer, the DJ, even the cake baker. I told each of them that no changes or cancellations are to be accepted unless I, or John, personally show up with ID, or we provide a pre-agreed password over the phone. Everyone was very understanding, wedding vendors have seen a lot, I guess. A couple of vendors did mention there were some odd inquiries on our account. For example, our caterer said that two days prior, they received a call from me asking what the penalty would be if we drastically reduced the guest count last minute. The person didn't actually cancel, but was just probing about the contract terms.

I never made that call, and John sure didn't either. So yeah, more evidence pointing to Emily snooping around. I set new passwords and secondary contact info for everything. I used a different nickname not easily guessable by someone who doesn't know me very well, so nothing like my pet's name or birthday. Step 2. Gather evidence of what happened with the dress shop. I got the bridal boutique to email me a written summary of the cancellation call for my records.

The manager put in writing that on, date, at, time, received phone call from individual claiming to be, my name, from phone number, my number, requesting cancellation of appointment. It's not hard proof of Emily, but it's documentation of the incident. John was present helping me with calls, and I think by the end of this, he was starting to feel the gravity of what was going on. He looked both furious and drained. I could tell he didn't want to truly believe his sister could do these things, but there was no other explanation.

He kept shaking his head and at one point said quietly, I can't believe she's doing this. This is so, psycho. I had a bit of an emotional breakdown at that point, not going to lie. I just started crying. John held me and apologized that this is happening. I asked him, do you finally see it now? What she's been doing to me?

He said he did, and that he was disgusted and would handle it. He seemed genuinely shocked into action, which is a big change from before. I told him I wasn't comfortable confronting Emily yet. I almost felt like if we let on that we know, she might escalate or deny and twist it. I wanted to catch her red-handed if possible, or have undeniable proof to present. A commenter on my last update suggested maybe even getting security cameras or recording a confession. I wasn't sure how to do that, but the idea of having something concrete was appealing. Update 3. Hey Reddit, I wish I could say things have

calmed down, but they haven't. However, this time I come bearing the moment of truth. As some of you predicted might happen, I finally caught Emily red-handed. It was both surreal and satisfying, and also completely heartbreaking in its own way. So, about a week after the dress shop incident, John's family had a small get-together for his niece's birthday. This is Emily's own daughter's birthday party, oh yes, I don't think I mentioned before. Emily is married, and has a five-year-old daughter, which perhaps makes her behavior even more astonishing to me, like, she's a grown adult with a family acting like a sabotaging mean girl. The party was at my in-law's house. Honestly, after everything that had happened, I didn't even want to go. But I adore my

little niece to be, and I didn't want to disappoint her. Plus, John's parents had invited me, and I didn't want to raise suspicion or cause family drama on a kid's birthday by not showing up. John had a work situation that day, major project deadline, really bad timing, and he couldn't make it to the party. I was nervous about going without him, but he encouraged me to go and said, my parents and other siblings will be there. I doubt Emily will try anything with them around. I wasn't so sure, but I went, with all my new precautions in mind, and my phone clutched tight

in my hand or zipped in my purse at all times. The first hour or two of the party was fine. I kept my distance from Emily and she from me. We basically avoided each other entirely. She was busy hosting the kiddie games and chatting with her husband and friends. I helped my mill in the kitchen a bit, played with the kids, and tried to relax. Every now and then I'd catch Emily looking, but not friendly either. I couldn't tell if she was feeling guilty or angry, or maybe planning something.

It made me uneasy, but I was determined to get through the party peacefully for the sake of the family. At one point, I stepped outside to the backyard where the kids were playing on a swing set. I was chatting with John's other sister-in-law, his brother's wife, when I realized I had left my phone inside on the kitchen counter. I had put it down for just a minute while helping serve cake, and then got distracted when I followed everyone outside. The moment I remembered, a little alarm bell went off in my head. I excused myself and went back into the house.

The living room was filled with a few relatives, but Emily wasn't there. I checked the kitchen, my phone was no longer on the counter where I know I left it. My heart skipped a beat. I asked my mill if she had seen my phone. She hadn't, but said, oh, I just saw Emily pass through here a moment ago. Instantly, I knew. I just knew. I power walked down the hallway toward the bedrooms. My in-law's house is one level. I heard a low voice.

It was Emily's voice, and she was saying something like, yes, that's right, the caterer for the, my last name, fiancé last name, wedding. My heart was pounding out of my chest. The door was slightly ajar. I pushed it open and there she was, Emily was standing by the desk, my phone pressed to her ear. She looked at me, startled, eyes wide. I must have been a sight, I was shaking with adrenaline and anger. I stepped forward and said loudly, Emily, what the hell are you doing with my phone? She froze for a second, then had the nerve to hold up a finger as if to tell me to wait because she was on a call. She spoke into the phone, stammering, ah, I'll have to call you back, and hung up. I was so livid I snatched the phone right out of her hair.

I didn't even think about it, I just acted. Immediately I saw on the screen the call was indeed to our caterer, their name was right there in the recent calls list, along with the ongoing call timer that was at about two minutes before she hung up. She had actually dared to call our caterer, presumably to cancel or mess with our catering order, while at her own kids' birthday party, using my phone that she stole from the kitchen. The levels of insane here are just, I have no words. Once I had my phone, I just unleashed. I said something along the lines of I knew it.

I freaking knew you were the one messing with my wedding. First my dress, now this? What is wrong with you? Emily didn't even deny it. Instead she yelled back, I don't care. You're not good enough for my brother. I won't let you ruin his life. I practically screamed,

how does cancelling my wedding stuff prevent ruining his life? Are you out of your mind? She just kept saying, you need to leave. You shouldn't be here. You're not part of this family and you never will be. It was like a floodgate of her true feelings it became very clear that in her twisted logic, she thought she was saving her brother from me by sabotaging our wedding.

By now, our loud argument had drawn attention. John's parents and a few other family members appeared in the hallway, looking bewildered. My mother-in-law was like, what is happening? I turned to them and said, Emily has been sabotaging our wedding. She literally just used my phone to try to cancel our caterer. Emily screamed, she's lying. Though I was holding the evidence in my hand, which I waved around, my phone still showing the caterer's number on screen. She then changed tack and yelled, I was helping you. I was just making a quick call to check something for you. I shouted back, check what, exactly?

How much you could screw things up? It was chaos. My father-in-law sternly told us both to calm down and asked for the phone. I handed him my phone and said, look at the last dialed number. It's the caterer. I didn't make that call, she did. He looked at the phone, saw the number and the name, we had it saved as, caterer name. his face when he looked back at Emily.

I'll never forget it. It was a mix of shock and disappointment. My mill seemed to catch on and gasped, covering her mouth. She asked Emily, did you really? Emily at that point started bawling, not sure if it was out of anger or just being caught. She said something like, fine. Yeah, I tried to cancel some things.

For his own good. This wedding shouldn't happen. There were more raised voices all around. My Phil told Emily to go with him into the other room immediately. My Mill tried to suit the crying kids who had now wandered inside, because the shouting upset the family members were all either stunned silent or hurrying the children back outside to play. It was incredibly awkward and tense.

As for me, I was fighting back tears. I realized I didn't want to be there one second longer. I walked right out the front door, got into my car, and drove off. In hindsight, I probably should have stayed to calmly explain to my in-laws everything that had been happening, but I was in full fight or flight, and flight one. I burst into tears as soon as I drove away, and I cried the whole way home. I texted John a single message, I caught Emily in the act of canceling our wedding stuff. I left the party. Call me when you can. He actually was already trying to call me, as he had seen a bunch of missed calls from the

caterer on his phone. The caterer had tried to call him when they suddenly got disconnected from me, likely to confirm whatever Emily was telling them. John had put two and two together and left work early, frantically trying to reach me. I answered his call when I got home and just unloaded everything that happened. John was quiet for a long time, then he simply said, I'm coming home right now. He arrived about 20 minutes later, he immediately pulled me into a hug and kept saying, I'm so sorry he had spoken to his dad on the way over, so he got the basic rundown from the aftermath at the party. Apparently, after I left, my Phil absolutely tore into Emily in private. From what John heard, it wasn't pretty. Emily was basically caught dead

to rights and had no defense. Her husband, my brother-in-law, was furious with her too. He had no idea she was doing all this. In fact, Bill apologized to my in-laws and left the party early with kids because he was so embarrassed and angry at Emily. So the party kind of fell apart after that. What a memorable birthday for the poor niece. Though I think the little kids were mostly kept in the dark and still had cake and presents at least. John's parents were, and are, extremely upset. They did not argue or make excuses for Emily when talking to John. In fact, both of his parents called me later that night to apologize for their daughter's behavior. They sounded deeply embarrassed and genuinely apologetic. This was a bit of a relief, honestly, at least I have

supportive future in-laws, aside from the one bad apple. But let me get to the part that has been the worst, John's initial reaction after the dust settled. When he got home that night and we talked, I could tell he was struggling. We sat down and I recounted every awful thing Emily had done, again. Now that I had literally caught her doing it, there was no room for him to disbelieve or downplay anything. He looked absolutely horrified and kept saying he felt like a fool for not seeing it sooner. However, when I expressed how deeply this all hurt me and how I wasn't sure I could move forward if he didn't fully cut ties with his sister, at least for now, he got a little defensive. Not defending her, but he seemed hesitant and said, she's my sister. I need to understand

why she did this. That kind of made me snap. I yelled, does the why even matter? Look what she did. And you're actually not immediately on my side here? He quickly said, no, no, I am on your side. I don't condone any of this. But he admitted that a part of him was in shock and initially, he was hoping there was some explanation or misunderstanding. Really?

After she literally confessed in front of everyone? I was flabbergasted he still thought there could be any excuse. This led to probably the worst fight we've ever had. I told him point-blank that I was reconsidering marrying him if he couldn't 100% stand with me on this and hold his sister accountable. I said, I am your future wife, and she attacked me in our relationship in the most devious ways. I need you to have my back completely, or I can't do this.

I also may have said something like, grow a spine and cut the cord, John, or you'll lose me. It was harsh, but I was at my breaking point. John, to his credit, didn't get angry at me. He started crying. I've only seen this man cry once before, so it really broke me when I saw tears. He said he was ashamed that it took something so extreme to make him see the reality, and that he felt he failed me. We were both emotionally exhausted by then.

He begged me, please don't call off the wedding. I told him I wasn't going to make any decisions like that right this second, but that I needed to see concrete action from him to protect me from his family's toxicity. He promised, no more excuses for Emily, no more contact with her until maybe someday if she drastically changed, which I doubt, and certainly she would not be at our wedding or any related events. He said he would talk to her and make this explicitly clear. I just nodded and said, you know what you need to do. I'm going to hold you to it. That night I stayed at my sister's house, because I just needed space and someone to vent to in person. John understood and let me go,

although he desperately wanted me to stay. My sister was shocked by everything, she already knew bits, but the full story left her in shock. She took me out for a late-night milkshake run to calm me down, which helped a little. So yeah. I caught Emily red-handed, the whole family knows now, and John finally fully believes me. I know a lot of you will probably say I, I should just call off the wedding or go no contact completely. Trust me, I've been thinking about everything. The one thing I know is Emily is out of our lives for the foreseeable future. There's absolutely no way she's coming to our wedding, if we even proceed with what is planned.

The question that remains is really about John. Can I trust him after all this to put me first? I love him, and I do feel he's finally awake to the truth. But the fact it went this far, it's going to take time for me to forgive that. I'm taking a couple of days away from the whole situation to clear my head. John and I agreed to pause any wedding planning until we really hash things out, and obviously reconfirm all our vendors are secure after that attempted call. I might update again, but I need a breather.