Reddit Stories - When Reddit Gets Dark Confessions and AITA Stories ( Over 9 Hour Compilation ) - Episode #98

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #darkconfessions #storytime #relationshipadvice #moraldilemmas #funnystoriesSummary: Episode 98 delves into dark confessions and AITA stories from Reddit. Listeners are taken on a journey through unsettling yet intriguing narratives that explore human behavior, morality, and the complexities of relationships. The hour-long episode offers a mix of humor and seriousness, prompting reflection on personal choices.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, darkconfessions, storytime, relationshipadvice, moralstories, funnyconfessions, podcast, truecrime, humanbehavior, lifeadvice, dilemmas, entertainment, storytelling, humor, community, discussionsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Severed ties with my relatives following their absence during my commencement due to Golden Child's sibling, but later they contacted me when my father was in his final moments. Last wish was to support my jobless sister. Hi, so ten days ago, my family got in touch with me after ten years of not speaking to me. I am 31F and at the age of 21, soon after I graduated from college, I decided to cut ties with my family and move away from them. The reason why was the way that they treated me, in comparison to my sister. I have a twin sister, let's call her Rebecca. She is 12 minutes older than me and for some reason, my family has always treated her way better than they have treated me.

She is pretty much the golden child of the family and has always been that way. I don't know why, but my family has always preferred her over me, even though I have achieved more than she has. I have always been the better student, better at sports, and even better. at things that she calls herself the expert in, like art. You name it, I'm better than her at it and the reason for that is because I was always trying to outdo her as a child, hoping that maybe that would make my parents like me better. If anything, it just made them like me less because, to them, it probably seemed like I was trying to do it on purpose to put my sister down.

It was not like that, honestly. I just wanted them to give me the same kind of love and affection that I saw Rebecca receiving, but never me. They always supported her and enrolled her in whatever classes that she wanted to go to, bought her whatever she wanted, and she just had my parents wrapped around her finger all her life. For me, it was completely different. Every time I asked for something, I would be told not to act, entitled and spoiled, and even when it came to college, she said that she wanted to take a year, which turned into three years.

She never ended up going to college, so she doesn't even have a degree. I, on the other hand, got accepted into a degree. reputable business school because I had pretty good grades and I needed money from my parents to cover my college tuition. But they told me that I would have to take out a student loan and pay it all off myself in the future because they did not think that they needed to sponsor me even after I had turned 18. I thought that was really hurtful but I needed them to help me out with the loan, so I did not say anything then. I had accepted the fact that they were never going to love me as much as they loved Rebecca, so had just accepted my fate. I didn't really keep in touch with them

I was in college and just came back home from the holidays occasionally. Even then, I would not talk to them much because, after high school, I had pretty much distanced myself from my parents emotionally so that I wouldn't keep getting hurt over and over again. When I was about to graduate, I had invited them to attend a ceremony, but I never got a response from them. I tried everything, I tried to call them, I sent them new emails, and I even thought about visiting them, but by then, I had already tried calling them and messaging them, but they had not responded to any of that. So I figured that they just did not want to attend. It was not until after the ceremony that I found out from a couple of relatives that they were not able to attend because my graduation ceremony was on the

same day as my sister's first day of art school. And of course, her first day at 21 was far more important than my graduation ceremony, so they could not let her be alone that day. It was crazy because she wasn't even going to any reputable institution. She was taking art classes in the nearby community college, which was literally just half an hour away from our house. I think that's the day that I pretty much realized that my existence did not make a difference to them and they would rather I don't contact them again. The message was loud and clear, it always had been, but that was the day that I decided that I did not need to pretend like I had a family, just to console myself. In fact, not having a family was

probably better than having one like this. So I just stopped speaking to my parents, blocked them everywhere and I was done with it. I did the same for my sister because Rebecca and I also never shared a good relationship. Because of the love and affection that she received from my parents, she always assumed that she was better than me, even though I had a lot of evidence to prove otherwise. I was better than her in every aspect, I think she knew it, which is why she was so insecure of me and always tried to put me down. Well, the joke on her because now, I am in a far better place than she is in her life. She was always pretty arrogant and smug about everything, so we never really got along, and I did not regret blocking her and cutting them all out of my life.

After that, I didn't really have any financial support, and I also had to worry about paying off my student debts, so I took up the first job opportunity that came my way, and since then, I have been working to prove myself and let everybody know that I'm good enough on my own and I don't need my parents to survive. Things were difficult at first, but I had a lot of good friends from college and from school, overall always there for me and had my back in now, I am in a really good position financially and mentally as well. For the past five years, I have been working in a vegan products company and recently, I have been considering starting my own business. I've been really into the whole vegan lifestyle and have been studying it in depth

for the past couple of years, even though I am not vegan myself. And I think it's a huge market to be tapped into, so I have been considering starting something of my own for the past few months, and I've spoken to a couple of people who were willing to join me in my venture. So the plan was to start working on my business model and plan everything out in the next few months and then, I would quit my job once I had a couple of investors on board and start my own business. But then, last week, I received news from my family that my father was on his deathbed and I had to come meet him. It has been 10 years since I have spoken to anybody from my family, and I was really surprised that they were reaching out to me. But when I learned that my father had been battling with cancer for the last three years, I did not think of anything and I dropped everything to go back home.

It was already too late, though, since he was in a really bad condition and there was no good. going back. So, probably in the last ditch effort to make things right with me or maybe just to talk about my sister, they had invited me to visit him one last time. When I saw him, I almost broke down in the hospital because I had never seen my dad like that and my mother hugged me and it was just really painful. To be honest, for a while, I had forgotten everything from the past, and I was just worried about my father and whether he was going to be able to make it or not. Rebecca was also there, but I did not speak to her because she did not put in any effort to talk to me. She had just made a face and was sitting in the corner.

The entire time that I was there, my mom spoke to me and told her my father, but she was the only person who pretended like I was not even there and I found that really annoying so I did not speak to her. Anyway, I really, really don't like her and I have no interest in what she's up to. So I thought that it was completely fine for us to speak to each other and nobody else in the family seemed to mind our behavior either because they knew the kind of relationship that I had with these people. This was just one week ago and two days after my father passed away. Everybody already knew that he was not going to make it, so my mother and my sister had already

made the arrangements for the funeral and it did not take too much time to wrap everything up. So I was able to come back home, but unfortunately, I had been made to agree to something that I really did not want to do before my father passed away. On the second day of my visit, Rebecca had gone home because she was really exhausted, at one point. So it was just my parents and I in the hospital room and then, they started talking to me about my work. I thought that it was really innocent, and I did not think much of it because my father was literally on his deathbed. I did not think that they could be up to something nefarious at that moment. So I told them that I had been working at a really successful company for the past two years and I was doing well. They heard me out for a bit

and congratulated me, but then they started telling me about how badly Rebecca was. They said that she had dropped out of community college the first couple of months and bothered to go back. She did not have a degree and her grades had not been that great when she was in school either. So she couldn't exactly explain the gap and she didn't even go to any college so she did not do anything until she was 25. And then, my parents started pressuring her to get a job, so she finally did but she was never able to last longer than three to four months. She would come back home after a couple of months and tell our parents that she had quit the job because it was just too much and they would not pay her enough. It didn't even make sense because they were paying her exactly the right amount.

She was working low-paying jobs because she did not have a degree, and she was not even willing to put in the time and effort to work hard and move up the ladder. None of it made sense, and they had been trying really hard to explain to her that her arguments would not hold in the real world and so they had been fighting a lot with Rebecca and trying to do. to make her independent. But she didn't seem to care about the future at all. She was just not serious about anything and was taking everything very casually. Whenever my parents tried to speak to her about it, she would just blow them off, and recently, she quit her last job six months ago and was just sitting at home with nothing to do. They told me that they were really worried about her and they wanted me to be the one to look out for her because after my father was gone, my mother was too old and she would have to think about her own retirement as well since

she was just one year away from retiring. And she just couldn't bring herself to constantly keep her working to support her daughter, who should be able to support herself by now, anymore. Honestly, I had no idea how to respond to any of what they were saying because my dad was suffering and I did not want to be the one to break the heart after so long. Because we had gone ten years without having any contact with each other and at that moment, I was having really mixed emotions. I tried to tell my parents that I was planning on starting a business of my

own. This was really not the right time for me to take on such a responsibility because I knew that Rebecca was a liability and she did not have any interest in making money of her own. She was totally comfortable with living off of other people's money and that's what she had been doing so far. The only difference was that before this, it had been my parents taking care of her, mostly my father because he made more money than my mother. But now, my father was passing the baton to me and telling me that I had to look out for my sister. I could understand why he wanted me to take up the responsibility, but I tried to tell them that it would not be possible for me at the time, since I was planning on quitting my job and starting something of my own, so all my money would go into that. But my dad told me that they had already spent a lot of money on health care for him and his medical expenditure, and even after this, he wanted my mother to be comfortable, and that was his priority.

He knew that I would be there to look out for Rebecca. which is why he was counting on me, and he kind of forced and manipulated me into agreeing to take care of Rebecca's future. He made me promise that I would put my business plans on hold until Rebecca was at least a little financially stable, and I was made to promise that I would look out for her and have her back until then, I did not even know how long that would take, but I still said yes, because I did not feel comfortable. Saying no to a man who was on his deathbed. No matter what he had done to me in the past, I was just not comfortable with it. I guess that was really stupid of me, but I don't think anybody else in my position would have been able to react a different way

and if somebody had been able to stand up to their parents in that position, well, I have to say that they might be really strong, but I am not that way and I just ended up agreeing to it. I was not happy about it, but I had to do it because as it appeared, my father was going to pass away soon, and I could not say no to his dying wish. They also told me exactly what it involved. I was since Rebecca was actually in a relationship with a guy from school and was planning to visit him since he was working in another city but in the same state, I really couldn't figure out why they couldn't visit each other more often because it's not Rebecca. At least Jared had a job and he could come to visit her, but they were doing the long-distance thing. So as it happens, I know this guy that she was dating and I know the kind of person that he is.

So I instantly knew that it was not good for her to be involved with him. That night itself, my parents told me that Rebecca had been talking to this guy for the past two years and it had mostly been online, but he had come back here to visit for a couple of weeks during the holidays and that's the only time that they got together. This man, let's call him Jared, let's just say he doesn't have the strongest values when it comes to women. In school, he was notorious for flirting with every girl that he could talk to, and he had been busted for cheating several times by his high school girlfriends. I did not keep track of him after we graduated, but I did hear from a couple of common friends from high school that he had already been divorced once and that was also for infidelity. I don't know what his problem was, but I knew that this was not a guy that I would trust, personally. I tried to explain this to my parents as well, but they told me that Rebecca seemed to really like him and they had seen them together during his visits back home, and they believed that they were meant to be together because they looked absolutely perfect and really in love.

I already had a bad feeling about this because they were doing the long-distance thing and it just meant that it opened up all sorts of avenues for him to cheat without worrying about being caught since he was in another city altogether. And Rebecca was clueless about this. My parents told me that they wanted me to pay for her flight tickets to go see him in the next couple of weeks because they knew that she would be pretty weak and only after our father passed on. And they wanted her to have somebody since my mother would be too busy with illegal formalities

after my father's death and I would obviously have to go back to my work. So she would need somebody by her side and they wanted it to be her boyfriend. I tried my best to tell them about the kind of guy that was and warned them of the consequences of this. They were convinced that Rebecca and Jared were going to get married in the future and kept telling me that I had had to take care of these things after my father was gone. And I would have to bear the expense of the wedding in the future as well. They were pretty convinced that Jared was the perfect guy for Rebecca and I, really couldn't talk any sense into them. So I just agreed to it as well because it seemed pretty

pointless to try and convince them that he was not the right guy. After my father passed away, I pulled Rebecca aside at the funeral and I told her that I knew about Jared, and then, I tried to warn her of the consequences. I had known Jared and his Casanova behavior for a really long time and I did not think that it was good that she was involved with him. But just like my parents, she also shook off my warning and told me that he had changed and she knew it. She told me that they were in love, and she knew that he would never cheat on her or do anything to hurt her, so she was not too worried about my warnings. She thanked me for being concerned for her but then told me that she would just appreciate

the financial help and that I did not have to actually be her parent and try to have any sort of emotional bond with her. It was simply not required. That was kind of mean and hurtful, and that day, after that conversation, I decided that I decided that I was. I was going to do exactly as she said. My father had only told me to look out for her financially, he hadn't said anything about the emotional factor. So in a way, she was right about what she said, and I decided that I was going to keep myself emotionally distanced from my family because I had better things to do and focus on my work. After the funeral, I came back here and it has been a week since then. Two days after the funeral, my mother told me to book flight tickets for Rebecca to

go see Jared and I did what she asked me to. I did not bother to check up on anybody after that because I got busy with my work. However, yesterday, I had an unexpected visitor show up at my doorstep. It was actually Rebecca, who had taken the bus from Jared City to mine since she had been too embarrassed to call me, but she did not want to go home either. She could afford bus tickets, so that's how she came here, after traveling for 10 hours. When she showed up, she was exhausted and in tears. As I opened the door to her, I was really confused about what was going on and the second that I opened the door, she started crying immediately and told me that I had been right about everything. She told me that she had been planning to surprise Jared, so when she showed up at his

place, it had been quite unexpected, and he had actually been spending time with another girl at his house when she showed up. When she saw that, she confronted him about it immediately and asked her who that was, and he told her to mind her own business. He then said, said that they were not exclusive and he was free to do whatever he wanted when he was not at home with her, so she had no right to ask him about his life here. That obviously pissed her off because in her head, they had been together for two years and she was fully committed to him and was thinking about getting married to him. So that was pretty hurtful and they ended up getting into a really big fight in his hallway. And in a bit of anger, apparently, she decided to lift her duffel bag

and hit him with it because she was that pissed off, and unfortunately, one of the chains on the bag caught him in the eyebrow, and he started bleeding profusely. She got really scared and made a run for it, got to the bus stop and took the first bus that she could find that led her here. And now, she wants my help. She told me that she was ready to learn how to be independent and fix her life, and I needed to be the one to do it for her because I had been independent for a really long time, almost ten years now. So she thought that there would be nobody better to teach her the ropes in my line of work and give her a job. She told me that she said that she was. She told me that she, she knew I was about to start a business of my own and was hoping that maybe I would give her an

opportunity to work there, not as an employee, but as a partner. It was just a lot to process for me, and before I could agree to anything, I decided to ask her if she knew whether Jared had decided to press charges against her or not because if he had, I did not want anything to do with her. Because what she had done was wrong, no matter what Jared was doing. She had no right to get physically violent with him, and that was grounds for pressing charges against her, even if she had managed to run away from the scene. He could still just as easily find her out and she could be arrested for it. In that case, I did not want anything to do with her because I was not going to be the one to clean up her mess anymore. When I asked her about it, that's when the truth came out,

and she told me that she hadn't actually managed to escape. He had pressed charges against her and she had to pay a huge fine as compensation for what she did as well, which is why she was here. I told her there was no way I was going to help her out and told her to go back home because I did not want to get involved in any of this. She got very upset when I said that and reminded me of the promise that I had made to my father before he passed away, but I told her that the promise didn't matter anymore because it was very obvious to me that she was an idiot and was never going to do the right thing. So I was not going to be there to clean up her mess after her. I just wanted to start my own business and I did not want her to join me because she was a total liability. I told her that the least that I could do for her was book her tickets to go back home,

but after that, she was on her own and I was just going back to no contact with my family again because this was too much. It had been just one week and she had already screwed up colossally. So I was just really irritated by everything and I told her that I was going to book her the flight tickets, so she could just go to the airport and wait there instead because I did not want her to waste my time since I had a lot of work to catch up on. She couldn't argue with me because I was already booking the tickets, so she headed to the airport in a cab a few minutes later. I thought that that would be the end of it, but obviously, now my mother is pissed off about what I did.

She believes that I should have been kinder to my sister, and should have taken her on as a partner in the business since she wanted to clean up her life and get her act together. This was my opportunity to be helpful, and I declined it because I was too selfish to do so. or at least that's what my mother believes, I don't think that I was selfish at all. In fact, I think it was pretty helpful because I booked her the flight tickets to go back home. Obviously, now she has to figure out a way to pay the fine to Jared but that's hardly my business anymore since she was the one who chose to hit him and visit him in spite of my warning. My mother is really pissed at me and constantly calling me and messaging me, to remind me of the promise that I had made to my father and telling me that I'm not living up to it the way she had

expected me to. So I defer refusing to clean up the mess that my sister has made in spite of a promise that I had made to my father on his deathbed? Update 1, hi, so it has been three days since my sister visited me and I turned her away. My mother had been trying to contact me for a while, but I decided to block her because it was really getting on my nerves. I don't owe it to anybody to help them. Yes, I had made a promise to my father, but honestly, I have been manipulated and coerced into making that promise. It was not something that I really wanted to do, I think I had made that sufficiently clear. And even most of the comments said that it was really manipulative of my parents to contact me only when my father was on his deathbed and even then, it was pretty

clear that they just wanted me to come visit them so they would have some surety that I would help Rebecca out later on, after my father was gone. As he was going away, he still manipulated me into doing something for the golden child of the family. It's really unbelievable, they only ever cared about her and about me. No matter what kind of relationship that we shared, he was still my dad. And it hurt to watch him die, but I don't know how to feel about it anymore. I don't really miss him, since I never had a good relationship with any of them, and for the past 10 years, I haven't been in touch with them. But I do feel kind of let down and disappointed. It was my mistake for believing that things could change between all of us, or that my family could

ever bring themselves to care about anything other than my sister. I guess not, that's never going to happen. Anyway, I can care about a lot more things that have nothing to do with my sister and that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to focus on starting my own business now, no matter what. Nobody's going to stop me. I already lost focus once and it was not good for me. I'm not going to let it happen again. Update two, hi, so Rebecca reached out to me today. I guess I had for forgotten to block her. She sent me a text saying that she had managed to pay off the fine and she did not need my help anymore. She also told me that my mother was really disappointed, and she never wanted to see me again. I guess that's fine by me, I did not want to see them again

either. They only wanted me for my money, not for who I was as a person, and they were never going to regret how they treated me all my life. And I knew that. So after reading that message, I did not even bother to reply, and I just blocked her. I was done with this. Update 3, hey, so it has been a couple of months and I just wanted to give you guys a little update on how my business venture is going. The business model is almost complete and so far, every investor that I have spoken to has expressed a lot of interest in my business. I think I'm going to quit my job and put in my resignation in a couple of days because I'm finally ready for the next chapter. I am once again no contact with my

family and things have never been better for me. Honestly, I think going no contact with them once again was the best decision that I could have made. And this business, this is going to be my new family now. I hope you enjoy this story. Guardians forced me to leave my studies to care for my younger sibling without compensation, prompting me to flee. Now, my mother is persistently following me, warning of abduction following an unsuccessful endeavor to bring me back home. 15F will be a junior in high school once the new school year starts. I have a little brother I'll call Matt, 3M. My parents both worked full-time jobs in the business district.

I was a planned baby, but Matt wasn't. My parents considered putting him up for adoption, but couldn't do it, they don't know I know this. When Mom ended her maternity leave, two weeks early, there was a schedule of who watched Matt when. Mom leaves for work at 4.30 a.m., waking me up on the way. I watch Matt until I need to go to school at 7 o'clock, and by that time, my dad is up and takes over. I get home from school at 3.45 p.m., and my dad leaves for his work at no later than 4 p.m. I watch until my mom gets home at 6 p.m. For the first year, that's how it went.

I was fine with that. Now, my mom has shifted her hours to work later. I watch Matt till he sleeps and I can't sleep till my mom gets home, which is usually 10 to 11 at night. On top of that, I do anything that needs doing at home. I'm in AP classes, and have my homework to do as well. Matt's not very well behaved, he's had health issues since birth that cause him discomfort. He's a toddler, and I get that, but his tantrums and general demeanor make it hard for me to get things done.

The two things that tore me down most happened a week before school ended back in May. I managed to talk to my mom and asked her if we could please hire a sitter to look after I want to take on some extracurriculars. Her response was they didn't need to waste money on that, because they had me. Two days later, my mom got home at 5 p.m., early, for her, and after eating dinner, dinner, told me to ask the school if I could shorten my class load next year in order to spend more time at home, since my dad also apparently wants to shift his hours. I told her no. She got mad, saying I needed to be more understanding and accepting. I had enough and blew up. I can't remember what all was said, but I do remember yelling that I wasn't my little brother's parent.

I left my room, stuffed some things in my backpack, and left while my mom was distracted by my brother. I'm safe, I called my grandmother and explained what was going on. She and my mother are estranged, but we managed to stay close. Once she picked me up and got the details, she said she understood. My parents blew up my phone, demanding I come home and telling me I should be ashamed I'm acting this way. My grandmother blocked their numbers. She did talk to them, and they agreed I can stay where I'm at until I get my head on straight. I feel guilty for leaving my brother, but at the same time, I feel so worn out.

Other family weighed in. While most are on my side, others say I need to accept my duties in the family and suck it up. I'm conflicted and don't know what to do. Ida for running away. Update, in comments, same. Same day. Update. Posting here in the comments since doing it in the post pushed me over the limit.

Thank you to everyone who left comments. I feel more confident in my decision now. A couple of people said I needed to talk to my parents about a sitter or boundaries. I've tried, before the last time. They either brushed me off or said things like that cost so much money and but you do such a good job and you're the big sister, it's your duty to watch him. I looked up perennification, since I'd never heard it before, and all the boxes were ticked. I had no idea.

My grandmother is talking to an attorney, and wants to set up an arrangement that will let me stay with her my last two years of high school. After I graduate, I plan to go to college in another state. Thank you again for your kind words. If something major happens, I'll let you all know. OOP is voted anti-A. Update post, July 16th, 2023, almost one month later. It's been a few weeks, but quite a bit has happened. I'll try my best to keep things concise. Once again, thank you for all your comments and support.

They meant a lot to myself and my grandmother, who says hello. Firstly, my father managed to find my post despite my efforts. He told my mother about it, and she proceeded to blast me to the members of my extended family via social media, saying I made them look bad. She deleted the post a few hours later according to my cousins, who support me. A few days later, during a meeting between my parents and myself, my grandmother, and our lawyer, my father apologized to me, and I felt it was sincere. As for my mother, she was silently fuming. Matt was at their house with one of my aunts. They agreed, with great reluctance on my mother's end, to give my grandmother full custody of me for my remaining three years as a minor. The next day, my grandmother and some of my supportive family members helped me get what I had for belongings out of my parents' house.

I didn't feel true relief until that moment. Now, I'm trying to enjoy my summer. I'm hanging out with friends. Going swimming. I'm relaxing. I'm finally reading books I bought three years ago that I never got a chance to read. I'm planning extracurriculars for next semester, and even planning a birthday party, my first and three years, for my sweet 16 in February.

I'm also helping my grandmother around the house. I do chores, but this time, I'm getting an allowance. Even my sleep has improved. It's a whole new way of living, and it's kind of overwhelming, but I've never been happier. Hopefully, this is the last time I post. I'm going to log off Reddit and go out with my grandmother for some shopping. Thank you all. Relevant comments. Did you get all of your documents?

Our lawyer was with us when we went to get my things and requested all my important documents. My father handed them over. My mother hid in the master bedroom. Make sure to go completely no contact. Back when I first left that, house, my grandmother blocked their numbers and I blocked all their socials and emails. I don't hate them, life's too short for hate, I don't even think I'm angry anymore. Just disappointed and let down. Any chance they will neglect or abuse Matt when you're gone? Have they before? I don't

believe they did. Mom would get frustrated because of how fussy he was, but never abused him. Dad was more patient with him. I think they honestly thought I had some gift when it came to him, like I was able to keep him behave slash calm. I wasn't. About her brother. I hope to reconnect with him once he's older, but with our mother being who she is. Who knows?

Update Post 2, February 18th, 24, 7 months later. Hey everyone. I previously posted in the idea of subreddit about a situation between myself and my parents, mostly my mother. TLDR, I was parentified and forced to devote 99% of my free time to my younger brother. I got fed up and ran to my grandmother. I surrendered legal custody of me to her. There are more details in the two posts I made about the topic.

Things have been going smoothly, I'm doing well in school, taking some extracurriculars, robotics and debate team, and still have time to read and hang out with friends. I have started to communicate with my dad, my decision. Never in person, just over the phone. Mostly at small talk. I talk about school and classes, and he gives me updates on Matt, my little brother. I've not said a word to my mother directly since the day custody was given to my grandmother. The last time we spoke, my dad told me that Matt had realized I was no longer around, and became more agitated. They hired a nanny to help out, but both my parents were still forced to cut back their hours. That was a week and a half ago.

This past Saturday, I had my dream birthday party, which was themed after books. My birthday cake looked like a stack of books, snacks were themed after literary genres, and everyone came dressed as book characters, I dressed as Sherlock Holmes. We had a very cozy venue all to ourselves, and it was great. It was a very chill, relaxed party. My grandmother hired security for the party, with a strict list of who was allowed. This was due to a couple of bullies at school who heard about my party and threatened to crash it. The party ended after a few hours, and most of the guests left.

The ones left were my grandmother, myself, one of the guards, and my two closest friends. I excused myself to go to the restroom, and when I came out, one of my friends met me halfway down the hall. She tried to push me back into the restroom, saying my mother had shown up and was demanding to see me. I told nobody for my family about this party, not my dad, not even the ones who supported me, because of this exact possibility. I also didn't post about it on social media. I heard yelling for my grandmother and decided to confront the situation myself. The security guard was holding my mom back, and my grandmother was livid. The second my mother saw me, she became irate, screaming that I was a disgrace,

that she was never going to let me just cut her off, and if I knew what was good for me, I'd come home. I didn't feel scared or even angry. I was just tired. I kind of sighed, pulled out my phone, and told her I was calling the police. It was up to her if she stayed to face them, but either way. I was filing a no-contact order. She went pale, screamed at me one last time, then ran off, getting into her car and speeding away. I was glad it didn't happen during the party, but it left me shaken.

Needless to say, my grandmother and I will be speaking to our attorney tomorrow. I'm still not sure how she found out about the party, which is what spooks me the most. You entitled slash narcissistic parents just, have some ability that lets them repeatedly attempt to screw up their kids' lives. I'm starting to feel like I'll have to watch out for my mom the rest of my life. Relevant comments. This exchange. Commenter, to answer your question. Yes, they try to ruin their children's life whenever they can. Why? Because they don't see that they are in fault because they are too self-absorbed to have common sense. In their eyes always others will be at fault. Have you spoken to your dad since this incident or do you intend to?

Or are you going in C with him too? If you speak to him maybe he can give you information who told your mom because this person needs to get out of the picture. I have this for you. Sums up pretty perfectly how narcissists are. Boop, I have not spoken to my dad since the incident. I really don't want to go no contact with him. He seems the most apologetic over what I went through and is. trying to change, from what I've gathered through speaking to him. I never told him about the

party, so he couldn't have informed my mother. I do intend to call him today and see what fallout happened after my mother left. Thank you for the link. Yeah, that adds up. Could she be tracking your phone? I thought about that, and my grandmother agreed. We checked over my phone to see if there was anything of the sort and found nothing. Definitely considering a new phone. therapy. Thank you. I am in therapy. It's really helping me with a lot of the guilt and pressure I felt after running away. I won't lie, despite my posts in IDA, a good chunk of me wanted to give in and run right back home. But I knew that wasn't what I really wanted, and also knew that if I did, I just keep sacrificing unnecessarily. Update Post 3, March 4, 24, two weeks later.

Sorry for how late this update is. A lot has happened and I've also been busy with schoolwork. I talked to my dad and told him what happened. He sounded horrified and apologized profusely. I told him not to, since it wasn't his fault. He said he'd get to the bottom of it and get back to me. In the meantime, we spoke to our lawyer and he agreed to my idea of filing a no-contact order against my mother. It's currently in progress.

My grandmother contacted my school to ensure that my mother was not permitted on campus or allowed to get any information about me. Both my grandmother and I got new phones, and had my grandmother's car checked for air tags, none were found. I checked out all my friends' social media and nothing was posted before the party. I was baffled. Five days later, I got a call back from my dad. Apparently, he put a lot of pressure on my mother and she finally said, spilled the beans. She bumped into another parent at a store, the mom of one of my most recent friends who was unable to make the party, they caught a cold. Said mom was not aware of all the drama

between my mother and I, giving enough information for my mother to put two and two together and figure out where the party was. I am just thankful she was unable to get the exact time of the party. She tried calling the venue, but we password locked, I think that's the right term, everything and they gave her no info. She didn't regret any of it, and even suggested waiting off school grounds once school let out and tried to drag me back by the hair one day, just typing that makes me shiver and feel sick to my stomach. My dad was appalled, and apparently that was the breaking point. They had a huge argument, and to make a long story short, he said he was done. He's in the process of moving out and staying in a hotel currently. He's filing for divorce and full custody of Matt.

He offered to pay the nanny extra to hire her himself for Matt's sake. Now, even the relatives that were on my mother's side have started to cut her off. She insists she did nothing wrong and that everything happening was my fault for being ungrateful and disloyal. All in all, there's hope for my dad and my brother. I think we can definitely have a better relationship in the future, so long as my mother stays out of the picture. Time will tell, I guess. and I guess that's it. Someone asked in the comments of my last post asked if I was planning on completely cutting my mother out of my life once the no contact order was filed.

I didn't want to, she's my mom. But the way she is now, I don't think I have a choice. It's for my safety and mental slash physical slash emotional well-being. She doesn't have my best interests at heart, only her own. It's sad, but I know it's not my fault she's the way to be. she is now. Now on to the next story. Family and friends ruined my marriage by making me paranoid about my wife cheating. After divorce I confronted them. They admitted trying to steal her away. I've been divorced for almost two years and a few weeks ago my father, 67M, my two brothers, 37M and 40M,

and four friends, 35m, 37m, 38, 41m, while very drunk joked about how they they can't believe I left my wife. They said that they all tried to get with her since the divorce, but she had repeatedly saying it would be inappropriate and unkind to do such a thing to me. I laughed at what they were saying just to ease them into saying more and once they thought I found it funny they really opened up. They had all purposely made me feel paranoid about my ex-wife cheating on me and using me because why would a woman like her be with a man like me if it wasn't for the money I made?

They often hinted at her sometimes even directly said that she wore the pants in the relationship and that she was only with me because I'm easily manipulated. They constantly planted negative things into my mind. If I went to talk with them about something happening in my relationship, they would put a negative twist to it or they'd purposely give me bad advice. Then when I lost my job during COVID they all hinted at how she's definitely cheating now that there's no financial benefit in being faithful to me. I obviously trusted them and often took their words to heart and it ruined my marriage.

I frequently argued with my wife and I was always accusing her of something or suspecting her of not really loving me. I questioned everything that was between us. I often told her bullshit things like how I'm a high value man and that she needed to appreciate me and when I was not working for six months I flipped the script and started accusing her of not respecting me for not working. I was unappreciative of all her hard work and for being the one who took care of our household bills and any other bill during those six months of unemployment. I continued to let their words drive me into paranoia and I started accusing her of cheating with her co-workers. Eventually my wife had enough of my moods, constant mistrust and accusations.

She left me and to be honest for a long time it felt like it came out of nowhere and so I had myself convinced she left me for another man. Now here I am knowing that every man I've called my family, my friend were all my enemies who I let destroy my marriage. I obviously lost my mind once they were done telling me all the ways they conspired to ruin my marriage, and we did get to blows. I've cut off all contact with each and every one of them. I want to reach out to my ex and make amends and hopefully get her back. My ex-wife has agreed to meet up with me and she doesn't know exactly what I want to discuss with her and I don't know how to go about making amends and hopefully mending our relationship.

How do I tell her how much I regret everything and that I want her to give me a second chance? Is there even a chance for us? Edit Some of you all keep saying you took the words of your friends over your wives and I don't think that's a fair or complete assessment. I trusted my father and brothers. My father was the main driving force behind this manipulation campaign and it's not often

that your entire family is conspiring against you. And not only your family but also your friends. I'm not running away from accepting the fact that it is wholly my fault and how my marriage ended. I take ownership of that. I take ownership of the fact that I accused my wife of being a cheater or a user. I regret it all. If my ex-wife doesn't accept my apology, I would accept it gracefully. If she said she never wanted to talk to me or ever get back together,

I'd also accept it. I would not stand in the way and I would not try to change her mind. I would wish her well and leave her be. Relevant comments. Fun statistician 550. Well, they certainly knew you're easy to manipulate, don't they? I'm glad you cut these people off. And I would also make a concerted effort to hear your ex out. I don't know if she'll ever forgive you, but at least give her closure if that's what she needs. As much as it hurts to read this and to see myself as such a person it is true. I trusted these men. I especially trusted my father and brothers.

I never thought my own family would be plotting to ruin my marriage and get with my wife. I absolutely won't get in the way of her unburdening herself. I can only hope she can find a way to forgive me and to possibly trying to get back together but I'm not holding my breath. I would respect her wishes even if that means she'll never forgive me. Jess, M. O. Jew. So are you telling me that you dad and brothers also tried to get with your wife? Island underscore Lord 830.

I'm shocked they are still alive after a confession like that. I command Bahamians just a volatile to hear something like that and not go off. That's just vile. Goop. I didn't include. the violence that broke out once heard at all because I didn't want get my post-band. Blood was absolutely spilled. And of course I had my ass beat because it was seven against one. But I did do damage in an ambulance and the police were called. None of us pressed charges

against each other and left it at that. Honestly, I am still raging and I've been heartbroken since. Update March 4, 2024. Six days later. On some of Sunday I got to meet up with my ex-wife. I apologized profusely and she was kind and understanding but said she couldn't and wouldn't forgive me. She said that it simply isn't in her nature to forgive and that despite it all she holds no grudges or anger against me and wishes me nothing but goodness in my life. She did give me some advice and told me that I have been in an abusive relationship all my life and that in order to heal whatever is broken in me that I should cut out my father as he sets the tone for my treatment by the rest of my family.

She had pointed out the many ways my father has hurt me or had encouraged my family to mistreat me. She said I'd always be stagnated and unhappy if I continue to associate myself with my family and former friends. I told her that I cut them out of my life and that I've got my first therapy session scheduled in a few days. She said she was proud of me for taking my first step into healing. Our conversation was heartfelt and emotionally devastating as we discussed the many ways our marriage had failed as well as the abuse I've experienced by my father and family. We cried the entire time. We cried a lot.

We ended our conversation with a long hug and then we said our goodbyes. Final comment from OOP. Forgiveness is earned through changed behavior and recognition of your harm but it isn't guaranteed or something you deserve. Some things shouldn't be forgiven, and that doesn't mean it eats away at the person or that it somehow holds them back. So I do agree with her when she said that you don't need to forgive in order to heal or gain emotional maturity. And sometimes forgiveness is not even an option. For her this one of those things that she simply can't and won't forgive and all I can do is accepted. As much as I'd like her forgiveness, it is simply not available to me and that's perfectly fine.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse is struggling to cope with the loss of her mother. As a result, she decided to leave me and our children to be with a colleague who empathizes with her situation. It seems that this decision has sparked strong reactions from everyone involved. The title and ready to tell me what an A-shole I am. To those people, I implore you to read the rest of this post before making a judgment. My, 36M, wife's 33F, mother passed away five years ago from lung cancer. It was not a peaceful or easy death.

Our lives understandably went on pause after the diagnosis and we both spent a lot of time off work helping care for her mother. My wife had a pretty typical showing of grief at the time, cycling through different stages. Same with our three kids. After she passed, however, my wife got really bad. I totally understand this. I can't say I know exactly what she went through, because I haven't had her. had a parent die, but I understand how devastated she was. For months after she could barely function. I gently took over pretty much all the responsibilities in the household and with the

kids. She had been attending grief counseling since the diagnosis and continued after the death. None of this is the problem. I endeavor to be as supportive as possible. She cried on my shoulder every night for months and I just thought this was the worse of for better or worse. The The problem is that after five years, she does not seem any better or more functional. She stopped grief counseling about four years ago and refused to go again, stating it would not help her and that nothing could. About a month before any major holiday, she will have a major downturn. In bed half the day, crying all day, does not want to interact with the family, does not

have the energy to do anything around the house. This will go on every single day until about a week after the holiday ends. Every holiday is intense grief, just as much now as it was five years ago. October, November, December, and January, her mom's birthday month, every year are particularly bad. I am essentially without my wife and I'm a single parent to my three kids. Altogether, she is completely incapacitated by grief for about six months out of the year and has been the past five years. When I say incapacitated, I mean incapacitated. When she is in the depths of her grief, she is completely incapable of intimacy with me or the kids.

There is no cuddling, spending time with us, going on family outings. I don't have sex for half the year. I've stopped asking her if she wants to talk about it because she can't get any words out between sobs if she tries. What hurts the most is that the kids have stopped asking or being concerned. If they see their mom in bed when they get home, they just go about their day and might be. casually mention, oh, mom is sad today if they're siblings or I ask where she is. They don't really seek affection with her anymore because they rarely get anything more than tears. I've discussed this with therapists, my parents, friends, etc., and I know all the rebuttals

people have for this, so let me preempt them. She is unwilling to go back to therapy for grief counseling or to see a doctor for depression. Yes, I know she's severely depressed. I can't force her to go to the doctor. I've tried so much. Yes, it really is just as intense as it was five years ago. No, I never tell her to get over it or blow her off. On my worst days, I just give space and leave her be. Most days I try to offer her some comfort.

If you want to judge me for leaving her alone, whatever, but know that I feel like I essentially have caretaker fatigue at this point. No, she does not have a history of depression, but she does have ADHD. Don't know if that's relevant. I feel like my wife died when her mom died. I would do anything to get her back, even a small piece of her, but she doesn't seem willing or able to move on past her mom's death. I feel awful for considering a divorce, but I don't know what else to do.

First update post, November 29, 2023, two days later. I posted a few days ago. You can check my profile for that post. I just kind of threw that post together as a stream of consciousness fan on my break at work. I didn't go back and look at it until later because I just assumed it would get buried since I've never had anything I posted get any major attention. And honestly, I thought I was going to get eviscerated in the comments for being insensitive or uncaring. I was floored by the number of responses and really kind DMs I got in front. felt a little overwhelmed at the idea of responding to them all. So I figured I would post an

update here. A few people mentioned I should have her involuntarily admitted to a medical facility. I didn't mention in the original post, but I did ask our family doctor about that maybe a year ago, and he told me that unless she is a threat to herself or others, it's unlikely to happen. I looked this up myself as well, and that appears to be true for the state we live in. I do agree that she needs medical treatment. I suspect that during her year of grief counseling after her mom's death, that she was not honest with her counselor. I have a distinctly sad memory of her coming home after one of her last sessions and telling

me that her counselor said she probably wouldn't need to go much longer. Then she went and laid down on the bed and cried. I haven't been able to convince her to go back to counseling. However, I'm glad I posted to Reddit, because somehow I hadn't really considered that she might need more intensive treatment than just counseling. I also saw one comment that scared the hell out of me that she may do something drastic if I give her a divorce ultimatum. With those things in mind, I don't think doing that is the way to go. Instead, I'm planning to write her a letter explaining how or how we need her back, and that we love

her and care for her deeply but she needs more help than we can provide a loan, and tell her that she needs to go to the doctor and be honest about what she's been going through. Thank you for your advice, everyone. Second update post, December 5, 2023, six days later. I wasn't planning to post again but got a lot of supportive messages asking for an update, so here we go. My soon-to-be ex-wife has completely lost her fucking mind. After my last post I spent a couple of days writing the letter to her.

In it I explained that the kids and I love her dearly, and that were concerned for her. I outlined all the worrying behavior and told her that I believe she needs to seek additional medical care. I explained that it sounded like she had complex grief, thank you everyone who pointed that out, and that the grief therapy she went to years ago was insufficient to help her get through it. I did not say anything about potentially divorcing her, but did say that the kids can't continue to live in their current situation. It was a long letter and I don't really feel like transcribing it here. I read the letter to her the same night I finished writing it after the kids had gone to bed.

After I finished reading, she just stared right through me, thousand-yard stare, for probably 15 minutes, then finally stood up and started walking to the door. I panicked and tried to stop her, asked her where she was going, can we talk about this, I'm concerned for your safety. She rolled her eyes at me and said in the coldest voice I've ever heard her use, I hope when your parents die someone doesn't tell you to get over it. After that I didn't try to stop her, I just let her go. I was pissed off for maybe five minutes before the panic set back in.

I legitimately thought she was going to end herself. I checked my phone and she had turned her location off. I called and texted probably 50 times over the next hour, begging her to at least let me know she was okay and that she wasn't going to do something drastic. Right before I was about to call the police, I got a call from her phone. I answered immediately and before I could get much of anything in, a man's voice told me she fine but she doesn't want to talk to you and hung up. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I almost called the cops anyway, but I was disassociating hard and talked myself out of it.

I kept calling her phone all night but no one picked up again. After about 2 a.m. it started going straight to voicemail. I barely slept that night. When I woke up the next day she wasn't home. I took the kids to school slash daycare, I normally do this and my wife is normally still asleep while I do. So thank God they didn't ask where mom was. I tried calling my wife's phone more all morning but still voicemail.

I called her office and asked if she was at work, and they told me she had called in sick. I called in sick to work as well and basically just sat on my couch, trying to get a hold of her, while being a nervous wreck. I called my mom as well and asked if she could pick the kids up from school today and watched them overnight. I didn't tell her everything that was going on yet, just that something had come up that was urgent and I needed some help. My wife walked in the door sometime after 4 p.m. I tried to hug her and she shied away from me. I asked her where she had been, no response, just a blank stare. I asked her who had called me from her phone, no response, blank stare. At this point I was frustrated and told her that if she didn't want to explain what

was going on, she could get the fuck out. I regret saying it that way now, but holy shit was I frustrated. So she started talking, but it was like I was talking to a text to speech AI with her voice. No emotion, totally flat, almost annoyed. She told me that she had gone to her friend John's, fake name, house. I had no idea who the fuck John was and asked her to explain further. Over a two hour or so conversation where I had to pry details out of her, I got most of the story. She was answering like a lawyer, very basic answers, no details or context outside of exactly what I was asking her. Basically, John is a coworker. I've met the dude once or twice at office party type events but never really talked to him. I never saw him hanging out with my

wife or showing interest in her. But apparently over the last year or so, she has been spilling all her feelings about her grief over her mom's death to him, and he's been comforting her. He had a parent die from cancer too, so I guess she felt they had a connection she didn't have with me. After I read her the letter she says she realized that I don't care about her or her mom's death and went to John's house to talk slash be comforted. I flat out asked her if she was having an affair with him, and she told me no. I asked her why she never mentioned she was close friends with this unknown guy and she told me it was none of my business. I asked her if anything had happened between them while she was there and she says that. They cuddled and he held her while she cried.

I asked to see her phone to check messages between them and she refused. I couldn't get much more detail out of her about the whole situation. So when she went to take a shower, I tried to check her phone. She had changed her passcode. I grabbed her iPad, which still had my thumbprint biometric signature in it, and checked there. I left the house with the iPad to look for evidence while she was in the shower. I did not immediately see any messages to or from a John, but after digging briefly, I found it.

She had put him in as Stacy in her contacts, but it was obviously him. There were texts going back well over a year. A lot of her talking about her mom, a lot of him comforting her, a lot of him telling her I don't really care about her, and that he would never treat her that way if they were married. All of her replies were in agreement. A lot of texts from her complaining about me. A lot of him trash talking me.

The night she left, she had texted him, fuck it, I'm on my way over if the offer is still there followed by an immediate yes. Reply. Then the next morning, a text from her to him saying if he asks, we just talked. I threw up out my car door in a Walmart parking lot for 20 minutes. I came home and found her on the couch on her phone, seemingly unconcerned or unaware I had even left. I told her that I knew, and that she needed to leave. Again she just stared at me for a while, not responding, until I got aggravated and told her to get the fuck out of the house. She immediately got up, told me John was right about you, and left. I haven't seen her since.

I told the kids she went to visit her parents. I don't know what to tell them, but I have to tell them something soon. I don't really even know what to do. Ostensibly I need to divorce her, but going through custody, child support, etc. is dizzying. I feel paralyzed and haven't made a move yet. I know she's lost her mind and this is probably some kind of psychotic break but I just can't care anymore. I put on a brave, numb face to go to work, then for my kids at night, and then cry after they go to bed until I fall asleep. I feel like my life is essentially over. I do feel like John took advantage of her vulnerability, but I don't even want to bother trying to get her to see that he's a predator.

She chose this over her fucking family that has stuck with her. I don't think I'll be posting any more updates or logging into this account anymore. Now on to another story. Story 2 Roommate is cheating on his girlfriend and wants us all to cover for him. I, M21, have known my friend Matt M21, since we started college. We're in the same program and have been roommates since day one. Overall, I'd say Matt is a great guy, however, he has a terrible tendency to cheat. Throughout

college, I think Matt had five to seven different girlfriends, and each of those relationships ended because he would cheat. Back in January, he started dating his current girlfriend, Gen F-21, and has been with her far longer than any of the previous relationships. From my interaction, with Jen, I know she's a wonderful person. She's very polite, beautiful, and clearly devoted to Matt. For the past few weeks, Matt has also developed a close relationship with his anatomy lab partner, Cindy F-21. It's become pretty clear to me and my other housemates, Kyle M21, Robert M-22, Omar M-20, that there is some romantic relationship between them. We've even all met Cindy as she came by our house a few times. Long story short, Matt has told me and the other guys that things

between him and Cindy are moving fairly quickly and that Jen is completely in the dark about this. He told us that, for the foreseeable future, he'll be spending a few nights hanging out at Cindy's place. Here's the issue, Jen and her roommates don't live that far from us, about a seven-minute walk. So there's a good chance she'll come by looking for him, according to Matt. Therefore, he wants to wants us all to make excuses for his absences and potentially reassure Jen that he isn't up to anything bad. Kyle and Robert are fully on board with this, as they consider it the bro code. Omar is fully against this, and while he has not said he'd tell Jen, he has refused to lie for Matt and has been urging him to end things with Cindy. I would say I'm more neutral.

I don't think what Matt's doing is appropriate, but I don't think it's my place to tell Matt how to manage his relationships. I told him that while I wouldn't seek Jen out and tell her what's going on, I wouldn't lie to her either about where he is and instead say I don't know. We all argued about this for a while, and the general gist of things is that Kyle, Robert, and Matt all think I'm being a bit of an ass for not being more cooperative. Aside from this, I don't think there is really much I can do. Moving to somewhere else is both economically and logistically unfeasible, so I think trying to avoid stirring the pot is my best bet. Ida. Update November 30th, 2023. I'll start this update by saying Jen found out last night. Like Matt predicted, she came over to our house Tuesday evening.

I saw her pretty quickly since I was also coming back from buying some food. She asked me if I knew where Matt was, and I said I didn't know, because I genuinely didn't know at the time. She mentioned how he wasn't responding to her texts and that she was worried about him, and I felt pretty bad hearing that. Kyle, who were inside, came out at this point and said that Matt was in his anatomy lab and then reassured her that he'd contact her once he was finished. She didn't seem entirely satisfied with that answer but thanked us anyway and left. Once she was gone, Kyle told me that Matt was actually on a date with Cindy.

Since Matt sometimes brings Cindy over, he'll text the house group chat before they come over to ensure that Jen isn't around. He did this on Tuesday night, and Kyle did alert him that Jen had stopped by looking for him. So he stayed over with Cindy on Tuesday night. Wednesday evening, only Omar and I are home. Kyle was with his own GF, and Robert had an exam. Around 7 p.m., we got a text on the group chat for Matt saying he plans on bringing Cindy over around 8.30, and he asked if Jen came by. I told him that I hadn't seen her, and things went on as usual.

I'll add that Omar has refused to respond to these specific text messages from Matt, so there was an expectation on me to clarify if Jen was here or not. A little after 8 p.m., Jen comes by with one of her friends, Carly F. 21. They asked us where Matt was since Jen hadn't been seeing him a lot lately. Before I could even say anything, Omar told them to come back after 8.30. and Matt should be home. They left, and I did argue with Omar about his decision to tell them to come back since it was inevitably going to cause drama, but he didn't care. I did text Matt and told him about Jen potentially returning, but since he was driving, he didn't read the message.

At this stage, I gave up trying to contact Matt and went up to my room. A little after 8.30, Matt walked in with Cindy, and not that long afterward, Jen and Carly returned, Omar let them in. Long story short, there was a lot of Jen yelling and Matt lying and apologizing. I didn't bother coming down since I could hear it all from my room. After about 10 minutes of this, Jen and Carly left. Matt sent Cindy home after this and was pretty pissed at what happened. I reminded him that I sent text messages, which he now saw, and Omar played dumb, acting like he didn't see Matt's message about him asking if Jen was home but confirmed to him that he was, that he told Jen to come back after the first time she came because he didn't think Matt was

dumb enough to go out with Cindy two nights back to back. Robert and Kyle came home after this point and I filled them in with what happened. There was definitely some tension in the house this morning as Matt thinks this all could have been avoided had Omar been more helpful. He also partially blamed Cindy for wanting to come over so often. Overall, Matt doesn't really seem to care that Jen found out and broke things off with him. He said that he'll try apologizing one more time, as he does prefer Jen to Cindy, and if she doesn't accept, he'll leave things as they are. As for Cindy, Matt has already told Kyle, Robert, and me this morning that he plans on ending things with her after the December exam season. He says that he wants to be single

again by New Year so he can have a fresh start. Kyle and Robert think this is pretty hilarious considering how much trouble he got into to be with her. Things have ended more smoothly than I thought and I have made it abundantly to Matt to keep me out of his relationship woes. I have also asked Carly how Jen was holding up this morning as we share a class together. As expected Jen was very upset about the entire ordeal and she and her friends consider everyone at our house aside from Omar to be complicit and awful. Update December 2nd 1, 2013.

Second update, Ida for refusing to be my friend's alibi so he can cheat on his GF. I've been receiving a lot of DMs from people wondering how things turned out after the big reveal, so here's a quick recap. 1. Jen did not accept Matt's apology. She has indicated that she, in fact, never wants to see him again. 2. Matt is still with Cindy, and he still plans on breaking up with her after-exam season. According to him, Cindy is starting to feel pretty secure now that Matt is no longer with Jen and has expressed her desire to form a serious relationship with him. While he does feel a bit guilty, he thinks it's best for both of them that he ends things with her before New Year's. Three Despite feeling guilty Matt has attempted to reactivate his Tinder account, but Kyle made him take it down.

Kyle thinks it's too soon for Matt to do this since someone we know is bound to see him there, and according to Kyle, Matt needs to play up the angle that he's heartbroken about falling out with Jen. 4. Kyle has smoothed things over with his girlfriend by claiming he had no idea Matt was cheating. Robert backed him up on this and expressed that nobody aside from Matt knew. 5. While I did plan on telling Carly the truth about what was going on, considering how quickly Matt, Kyle, and Robert have been moving I opted against this.

Instead, I've told Carly that I also did not know about Matt's cheating. Yes, it's a lie, but since I was against Matt cheating, I don't think it's fair for me to go down with the ship, considering that both Kyle and Robert are getting off relatively scot-free. Apparently, I was convincing enough as Carly told me that while she herself doesn't think I'm so bad, Jen will need time to process what went down, so it's best to give her space. Again, I get it isn't the most appropriate measure, but I really don't think I deserve to be in the splash zone. 6. Omar has expressed his strong disappointment in all of us, but at this stage his voice has become ambient noise according to Kyle.

Since I'm fortunately visiting my parents this weekend, I get to be away from the drama and hopefully any potential fallout. Also, since it's relatively earlier we'll have to wait and see if anything else happens. But I hope, pray, the worst is over. I hope you enjoy this story. Guardian supported my former spouse and disconnected from me for an extended period. However, they later expressed an interest in reestablishing contact. When I declined, they unexpectedly appeared at my stepchild's educational institution. Hello, I am a bit torn, and I'm hoping you all can help me figure this out.

I, 32F, am struggling to figure out what to do about my parents, 60s. They're trying to reconnect with me, but it's kind of complicated and I need help figuring out how to approach this whole thing. I'm just going to tell you a little bit more about them and my relationship with them first. When I was growing up, my parents were always hard on me. No matter what I did, it was never good enough. If I got an A, they wanted to know why it wasn't an A plus. If I picked a hobby, they'd nitpick about how it wasn't useful enough. Their attitude wasn't outright abusive, but they always found a way to make me feel like I was

failing somehow. When I made big decisions, they'd act like I was incapable of thinking for myself, and they'd do everything they could to meddle with my life. And that's where things really blew up later on. When I was 23, I married my ex-husband, Jake. Jake and I were high school sweethearts, so we figured we'd get married once we were done with college and it settled down a little. For the first time ever, my parents seemed to like my choice of a partner. In hindsight, I think they probably liked him because he came from a well-off family and seemed put together. But things took a turn for the worse for me after I got married to Jake. As soon as we got married, it was like a switch inside Jake got flipped and he became this horrible human being.

He became extremely manipulative and controlling. He constantly criticized me, isolated me from friends, and had a very short temper. Things got so bad that I felt like I was walking on eggshells every single day. I know a lot of you are going to ask why I didn't leave him as soon as I saw his behavior start to change, but I want you to know that things weren't that easy for me. I barely had an understanding of what a good relationship looked like. Besides, I was very young and I thought that I was in love. I thought that Jake was going through a rough time.

and that he had no idea about how to deal with his own emotions, so he was taking it out on me. I know it sounds stupid, but I loved him and I tried my best to convince myself that I just needed to be there more for him. But after years of tolerating his nonsense, I realized I needed to leave him, and no amount of talking or yelling was going to change the way he treated me. It took a while to gather up all the necessary funds, but when I finally decided to escape, I went to my parents for help. I only went to them because I had been open and honest with them about what Jake was like. I started doing that a few months before I was planning to leave Jake because I figured that they'd help me out. Once again, in hindsight, I should have known that they would not have helped me

out because every time I told them about something Jake said or did, they would find ways to make me feel bad about it instead of supporting me or even just comforting me. So when I ran to them for help, they got mad at me. They said I was being immature for. for throwing my marriage away and that I needed to stick it out because getting divorced was very shameful. I think that the worst thing they did to me during that time was tell Jake where I was my plan was to stay with them for two weeks while I spoke to Jake about getting a divorce because I knew that Jake would lose his mind and hurt me if I lived with him. I didn't want Jake to know where I was at all, and I figured that if he ever did find out where I was staying, having my

parents around would at least stop him from hurting me in any way. But after staying with my parents for only three days, they ended up calling Jake to let him know that I was staying with them and that he could come over whenever he wanted so he could talk to me. They thought they were helping me reconcile, but they put me in serious danger. Thankfully, Jake didn't do anything more than just cry and beg me to go back, but after that, I knew I couldn't count on my parents for anything. I left their house and ended up staying with a friend. I barely spoke to them much, but up until then, they still called me regularly to check in on me, and to tell me how wrong I was for continuing with the divorce. It took a while but once the divorce was finalized, I never heard from

my parents again. I didn't get a single call or a text or even a holiday card from them. It was like I didn't exist. At first, I was heartbroken. I spent months crying over the fact that my own parents had turned their backs on me. But eventually, I realized I couldn't dwell on it forever because I had much bigger fish to fry. I mean, I literally had to rebuild my life from scratch. The next few years were hard but life-changing. I moved to a new city and started therapy, which helped me heal from both Jake's abuse and my parents' abandonment. I worked my butt off to establish a career in graphic design which was something I'd always been passionate about. But surely, things started to look up for me. About two years ago, I met Eric, 36M, who's now my husband.

He's kind, supportive, and everything Jake wasn't. He has a 10-year-old daughter, Sophie, from a previous relationship, and we've built a beautiful little family together. We got married just a few months ago, and life finally feels stable and happy. And now on to the situation that has brought me here. About a month ago, a local filmmaker released a cautionary documentary about financial and emotional abuse. One of the key case studies in the film was Jake. Now, I obviously did not keep up with what Jake had been up to after our divorce, so I had no idea about why he was even in that documentary. But I watched it and I was horrified. The documentary talked about how he had manipulated several women, financially and emotionally, engaged in shady business deals, and he was. even conned people out of thousands of dollars. I knew that Jake was capable of being a huge dishebag and that he was capable of treating

his partner wrong, but I never expected his actions to become a cautionary tale for an entire town. I had no idea that he'd gone to such extremes. The filmmaker didn't use his real name, but the details were so specific that anyone who knew Jake could tell it was him. After the documentary came out, my phone started blowing up. Old friends and acquaintances sent me messages like, Wow, you dodged a bullet, and, I can't believe you went through that.

That was the way I found out about the documentary in the first place. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was glad that Jake's real personality was showcased like that and that finally I was getting the sympathy I deserved a long time ago. But the biggest shock came when my parents reached out. The first way they reached out was over text. My mom sent me this long, emotional text where she basically apologized for not believing me. She also asked me for a chance to make things right. Then, there were the voicemails from my dad where he told me about how sorry he and my mom were

for the way they treated me and how they wanted to reconnect. There were more things that they'd said, but essentially they sounded like they really regretted the way they treated me and they sounded desperate to make things right with me again. I just don't know what to feel about this whole thing. I mean, I'd be lying if I said that they didn't get to me a little. They're my parents after all. I know that I'm bound to want to have them back in my life, but at the same time, I can't forget how they treated me when I was at my lowest.

I can never forget how they put me in danger just to satisfy their beliefs. Obviously, I haven't responded to any of their attempts to contact me. I can't bring myself to. Instead, I've mostly just sat with my phone in my hand, reading and reading and reading. re-reading their messages and feeling a bunch of emotions that I can't quite place my finger on. Part of me feels like I'm justified in ignoring them. They abandoned me when I needed them most, and now they're only reaching out because they're ashamed of how wrong they were. But another part of me feels like I should give them a chance. After all, people can change, right? I've been

losing sleep over this. Eric thinks I shouldn't feel bad about cutting them off, but it's not that simple for me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust them again, but I also feel like ignoring them completely might be too harsh. I've come so far since those dark days, and I don't want to let them drag me back into old wounds. But I also don't know if I'd regret not hearing them out. So, I'd for not wanting my parents and my life after everything they did? Or am I being too stubborn and holding on to the past? Update 1. Hi again. Thanks to everyone who comment on my original post. Your perspectives really helped me think things through. Some of you asked questions I realized I didn't address, so I wanted to clear a few things up before diving into

what's happened since. First, a lot of you asked why I even considered responding to my parents in the first place. Honestly, it's complicated. I've spent years trying to heal from the abandonment and betrayal, but deep down, there's still this part of me that wants to believe that they could change. I guess I was also scared that if I ignored them completely, I'd regret it later. Another question that came up was about Jake and whether my parents knew how bad he was during the marriage. I told them bits and pieces back then, but they never took me seriously. They just assumed I was exaggerating or being dramatic. I only told them the details about Jake's behavior a few weeks before I'd planned to run away from him.

They didn't take me seriously then either, but I guess I wasn't in the right state of my mind to really look into that. I just assumed that since they were my parents, they protect me regardless of whether they believed me or not. I was wrong, obviously. But after reading your advice, I decided I couldn't ignore the situation forever. I figured the only way I'd get any peace was to hear my parents out. So, I reached out to them and agreed to meet at a neutral spot a small cafe halfway between their town and mine. I thought they'd be truly sorry for how they treated me and we could have an honest conversation. Unfortunately, that's not what happened.

When I met them, they seemed more interested in justifying their behavior than actually apologizing. My mom went on about how they just didn't know that Jake was that bad, and how the documentary opened their eyes. My dad said they did what they thought was right at the time and acted like that should be enough to excuse everything. It felt like they were more sorry about being wrong than about the pain they caused me. At one point, my mom even hinted that I could have handled things differently and maybe they wouldn't have misunderstood the situation.

That hurt. A lot. After everything I went through, they still found a way to blame me, even just a little. I realized then that they weren't really trying to make amends. They were just trying to make themselves feel better. I told them I didn't want to continue the conversation. I said that I was happy with my life as it was and that I wanted things to make themselves feel better. to go back to how they'd been before they reached out us living separate lives.

They looked shocked and tried to argue, but I left before they could talk me into staying. It wasn't an easy decision, but I felt like it was the right one for me and my family. That should have been the end of it. But then they crossed a line I couldn't ignore. Last weekend, Sophie had a school play it was something she'd been looking forward to for weeks, and Eric and I were so proud of how hard she worked on her part. So, you can imagine my surprise when I saw my parents sitting in the audience. I never told them about the play, so they must have gotten the details from Eric's Facebook. Don't worry, we've updated our privacy settings now. They didn't just show up they acted like they were part of our family. They introduced

themselves to other parents as Sophie's grandparents. Sophie was confused and asked Eric who they were. It was such an uncomfortable moment. I had to pull my parents aside and tell them to leave. My mom started crying and said I was punishing them for their past mistakes. My dad said they were just trying to be there for me now. Like that somehow justified them ignoring my boundaries. I didn't want to make a scene, especially with other parents and kids around, so I asked them to leave as calmly as I could. They didn't make it easy and they kept trying to cause a scene, but I somehow managed to get

them to calm down and leave. After they left, Eric and I were both furious. He's been incredibly supportive through all of this, but he feels like my parents are trying to force their way into our lives in the worst possible way. He was already upset and mad at my parents for mistreating me in the first place, and then for choosing to still not take accountability for their actions. He's also protective of Sophie, and he's worried about how their behavior might confuse or upset her. He's also worried that they're going to take things too far, and maybe start using Sophie to get to me. Obviously, I completely understand where he's coming from, so I sent my parents a firm text afterward, telling them their actions were unacceptable and that I needed space.

I told them that if they continued to cross boundaries, I'd have no choice but to cut off contact completely. They haven't responded yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Part of me wonders if I'm being too harsh, but I also feel like I have every right to protect my family from this kind of chaos. I tried giving them a chance, and they proved that they were not ready to respect my boundaries or my life. Anyway, I'll keep you guys updated on what happens next. Thanks for reading, and I appreciate any advice you have moving forward.

Update 2, I really didn't think I'd be back so soon, but here we are. Things have gone completely off the rails, and I'm at a loss. A couple of days ago, a family friend reached out to me. This person is someone I've stayed in touch with over the years but who also keeps in contact with my parents. They called to let me know something they thought I should hear. My parents had apparently tried to contact Jake. Yes, my abusive, controlling, manipulative, ex-husband, Jake. They tried to contact the same guy whose crimes and predatory behavior were featured in a documentary just a few months ago. According to my friend, my parents reached out to Jake to hear his side of the story about our

divorce. I was stunned. After all the apologizing they did, after claiming they believe me now and wanted to make things right, they still felt the need to validate everything by going directly to him. What makes things worse is that apparently Jake didn't respond to them directly but apparently made some smug, backhanded remarks through mutual acquaintances about how I've always been difficult and quick to blame others. Hearing this felt like someone ripping open an old wound. I didn't want to believe it at first. I thought maybe my friend had misunderstood or had gotten bad information. I tried to give my parents the benefit of the doubt, again, and reached out to them to confirm. I called my mom and asked her if she and my dad had contacted Jake. She didn't even try to deny it.

Instead, she started defending their decision. She said that they wanted to understand the full picture of what happened in my marriage. She even said something like, we were wrong before. so we don't want to make that mistake again. I was floored. I was already upset that they'd broken several boundaries while trying to make up to me, but finding out that my parents still did not trust anything that happened to me even with video evidence of Jake's behavior

made me feel like I really did not matter at all to them. My dad chimed in during the call and doubled down. He said that Jake's behavior in the documentary was concerning but that it didn't necessarily mean he had been a bad husband. They also insinuated that I might have been examined. exaggerating my struggles back then and that they just wanted clarity. Their complete lack of remorse was like a slap in the face. I asked them if they had any idea how much pain this caused me,

and how much courage it took for me to even leave Jake in the first place. My mom brushed it off and said that I was being too emotional and that they didn't mean to hurt me in any way. My dad claimed that they were just trying to make informed decisions about rebuilding their relationship with me. At that point, I lost it. I told them that they were selfish, manipulative, and incapable of change. I said they had no place in my life or my family if they couldn't even acknowledge how deeply hurtful their actions were.

They didn't even apologize my mom just sighed like I was being difficult, and my dad muttered something about how they can't ever win with me. I hung up on them after and I felt so overwhelmed with emotions. I mean, I was sad and angry at the way my parents were treating me after years of no communication. I can't believe I gave them another chance just for them to betray me all over again. But I was also, relieved. I mean, I was actually glad that I wouldn't have to interact with them anymore. As horrible as it was, this actually did bring me some closure. I always worried about how my parents and I stopped communicating on bad terms,

and somewhere in me, I always blamed myself for that. But now, I can clearly see that I wasn't at fault at all. I talked to Eric about it, and he's been my rock through all of this. He was furious, too, especially since my parents' actions directly impacted the stability of our family. Sophie doesn't deserve to be dragged into this, and neither does Eric. We agreed that I needed to protect our family from my parents' chaos. So, I've blocked my parents on everything phone, email, social media. I told the family friend who warned me what happened, and they were completely supported.

of my decision to cut contact. They even apologize for being the one to break the news, but honestly, I'm grateful they did. I needed to know. I will admit that it hurts to realize that my parents will likely never be the people I need them to be, but I also know I can't keep putting myself in situations where I'm hurt over and over again. My focus is on my family, Eric, Sophie, and the life we've built together. They're my real family, and I won't let anyone ruin that. Thanks again for all your advice and support. It's been a tough road, but I'm learning to stand up for myself and prioritize the people who truly matter. Update 3, hi again. This will, hopefully, be my last update. After everything that's happened, I've decided it's time to put a

final stop to my parents' interference in my life. Things escalated in a way I never imagined, and I've had to make some tough decisions for the sake of my family. A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from Sophie's school. The principal wanted to let me know about an odd situation involving my parents. Apparently, they had reached out to the school directly and claimed that they were Sophie's grandparents. They apparently wanted to volunteer for an upcoming school event. They said it was their way of bonding with their granddaughter and insisted they had my permission. Thankfully, the school was suspicious enough to contact me first instead of just accepting their offer.

I was horrified. I was pretty clear when I told them that I wanted nothing to do with them. But the fact that they chose to ignore everything I had to say and go straight for my family, made me see red. They knew that I did not appreciate the fact that they showed up to Sophie's play without and they knew that I wanted them to stay away from her. The fact that they crossed this line made it clear that they weren't going to stop unless I took serious action. Eric was equally furious.

He said that he felt like they were trying to undermine us as parents and forced their way into Sophie's life without our consent. That was the breaking point for me. I realized my parents were never going to respect boundaries or take no for an answer. They had already shown a complete disregard for my feelings and safety, and now they were involving Sophie in their mess. It was time to protect my family in a way I hadn't before. Eric and I decided to consult a lawyer about filing a restraining order.

The process was emotionally draining, to say the least. I had to recount everything from their abandonment after my divorce to their recent behavior, including trying to contact Jake and showing up at Sophie's school play. The lawyer assured us we had a strong case and helped us file the paperwork. When my parents were served, their reaction was, predictable. My mom left me a rambling voicemail where she was just crying. about how I was tearing the family apart and accusing me of overreacting. My dad, on the other hand, sent an email from a new address since I'd blocked his old one,

accusing me of being cold-hearted and saying I was poisoned by Eric's influence. Both of them also kept hinting that I was too dumb to know what I was doing and that I was going to regret what I was doing to them. All I could hear was the fact that they still couldn't take accountability for their actions and instead chose to double down on blaming me. They tried to contest the order as well, and they did their best to disprove every evidence I had of their treatment of me and my family. Unfortunately for them, I had a mountain of evidence against them and that wasn't even with me trying to collect evidence. They had treated me so badly for years that even the judge saw it and granted the restraining order. The order includes provisions that prevent them from contacting me, Eric, or Sophie in any way, including through third parties.

If they violate it, they'll face legal consequences. To make sure we're fully protected, I've taken additional steps. I told everyone in my life friends and family that if anyone tries to reach out to me on my parents' behalf, I'll cut them off immediately. Thankfully, no one has tested this boundary so far, and most people have been incredibly supportive. Since the restraining order was put in place, my parents have tried to contact me a few times through indirect means. They sent letters to my old address, which were forwarded to me by my mail service, but I haven't opened them. I'm keeping them as evidence in case I need to prove there's still this whole ordeal has been exhausting both emotionally and physically. There's a part of me that feels sad about how things turned out.

I wish my parents could have changed, but I've come to accept that they are who they are, and I can't keep sacrificing my peace and happiness hoping they'll become better people. Eric and I have decided to focus on moving forward. We're considering taking a family trip with Sophie to get a change of scenery and create some positive memories together. I'm also seeing a therapist to work through the lingering guilt and hurt from everything that's happened with my parents. If I'm being honest, I finally feel like this entire chapter of my life has come to an end. I've done everything I can to protect myself and my family, and I've set boundaries that I intend to enforce. My parents had plenty of chances to rebuild our relationship, and they blew every single one of them. Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this mess.

Your advice and encouragement have meant the world to me, and I truly appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this story. Luna claimed that my unplanned caesarian delivery could have been prevented if I had been more physically active. When I declined to allow her to visit my newborn, my spouse supported his relatives, prompting me to depart. With my baby and filed for a protection order. I, 28F, had my son Kyson four months ago. At 22 weeks I was diagnosed with partial placenta previa and we were hoping and praying it would resolve,

but at 28 weeks I was told I have complete placenta previa. This news hurt because I had a birth plan but my doctor still closely monitored it even though he made it clear that there might be less chance of resolving it and might have a C-section. At 35 weeks I had heavy bleeding so I delivered my baby. beautiful baby boy through an emergency C-section. My son was in the knee cube for two weeks before we got to go home. Two weeks ago there was a family party at my mill's house. I was sitting in the ladies when K.Y started crying. So I breastfed him while chatting nobody had a problem with that them after that I handed him to my sill since she wanted to play with him. While he was holding him,

she said something. So they started talking about my sill's labor and she said it was a breeze. Then I said ah, that's nice, I hope to have a natural with my second some day. Then she said a natural birth needs preparation during the whole pregnancy. Then she went on to say you never worked out or got active much. So I told her it was because of the placenta previous situation. This woman literally said that's not an excuse though. I had riled ligament pain and I still managed to keep active. I told her I was kept on bed rest half my pregnancy and had too many hospital visits so I didn't want to do anything to risk putting myself in danger. Then she said your body can feels the nerves and it reads accordingly, you should have relaxed

and let nature take its course. That's how natural births work, the C section was avoidable. I told her to F herself and took my baby out her arms and went to my hubby. We left after. Apparently she told anyone who asked where I got sensitive and left the party. After a few days she asked to see Kyson and I said I'm not comfortable being around her at the moment. She accused me of weaponizing my son and using him to hurt her. Note, whole pregnancy she kept on giving unsolicited advice on how to fix the placenta previa and I feel like she thinks if I had listened to her I would have had Kyson naturally. I felt sad for a few weeks after birth because my birth plan didn't go how I wanted it to. These feelings just feel like

they resurfaced TBH. I thought I was okay. Ada for grabbing him and not agreeing to visit her. Update 1, June 10, 2025. I made my post hours ago and I am so overwhelmed at the amount of support and kindness I have gotten from everyone in the comments. So when I told my husband about what he did, I didn't like his reaction. I told him exactly what happens and he said I don't want to interfere in women arguments, babe. I then told him that he can at least ask his sister to be sensitive about my experience and he said, why don't you talk to my mom about it so she sits you two down and have a mature discussion. My husband knows Sill is the apple of my mill's eye so she would side with her.

There has never been a need for my mill to pick sides, but if there ever was we all know who he would. I told him that I would feel more comfortable if he is there. But he said it's a birth thing so women should discuss it. I mentioned in a comment on the original post that my hubby suggested therapy. He feels like the only reason I was offended by Sill is because I have not gotten over the fact that I had an emergency C-section. I mean he is right, but I just really want him to talk to his sister as that's so wrong. I want his support and for him to make things clear to her. If you are wondering whether I have support system like family then no I don't.

My parents are in a different country and I live in my husband's home country. I do have a few friends. That is why I appreciate all your kind comments. They mean a lot to me really. Update 2, June 14, 2025. Hey everyone, first off I would like to thank you all for the support I got on my two other posts. The love and support you gave me was more than appreciated and it had me the courage to do what I did today. I saw some comments saying I named my son a tragedy, my husband, and I agreed that I would pick the first name and he would pick the middle name so we both get to name him.

If you don't like the name, then I don't know how to help you with that. Besides, I did not want his first name on the post, so I used his other name Kyson. I now realized that I could have just used a fake name. Today a lot happened, I talked to my Sill and Mill and I also talked to my husband. It went terrible, actually, that is an understatement to what happened today. My talk with Sill and Mill took place at my Mill's house at around 10 a.m. I got there and they were already there. I expected my hubby to have gone with me, but he didn't. My sill got to the point and asked me why I was so upset at her.

I reminded her all that she said to me and she said was I wrong though, you were just offended that I spoke the truth. I remembered all the advice I got from your comments and I told her what I had learned about placenta Privia and her misinformation. I also told her about the difference between round ligament pain and placenta privia and what I went through. She rolled her eyes and said that's what doctors want to do so they make money off of C-sections. My mill the whole time sat there defending her and saying I shouldn't take it to heart while

Sill still stood on all she said. Sill called me incompetent and sensitive, so I said some colorful words and was walking out, BTW I was baby wearing. She grabbed my arm and pulled me telling me she isn't done talking and that I am walking away with her nephew. I told her to let me go or I'll get her arrested for handling me in that manner so she let go. I told them when they are ready to behave like adults then they will see Kyson. I was so scared of standing up for myself, but I did it. My hands were shaking, L-O-L. I got home and Hubby wasn't there so I got K-Y to take a nap and called my dad. I spilled everything to him and he was furious. He told me to either move out or fly back home. I told him I have to talk to Hubby first and I will tell them how things go. When Hubby got home later in the afternoon I was breastfeeding. He came into the living room and asked how the meeting went. I could tell he had a sour

mood. I told him it went bad and he told me, oh, I know. He told me that his mother is so hurt by my disrespect. I told him how they behaved and he told me that I am trying to say his mother is a liar. So basically his mom called and told him I was screaming and shouting at them. She told him I was hysterical and even rattled K.Y up. Sill backed Millup so it was like a tag team. I explained what actually happened and he said all this drama wouldn't be happening if I didn't overreacted. to a few comments made at the party. I was shocked. I told him I thought he was supposed to defend me and he said he can't ruin the relationship with his family because of my insecurities. I told him that I will leave with my son and go to people who actually care about me and that my

dad will book my flight. I walked away with Kyson and he grabbed my arm and said his son goes nowhere. He told me he was tired of my continuous complaints about his family. He said if I was still hurt by those comments then maybe I'm the problem and need to look into fixing it. He brought up a few memories I don't want to mention but just past experiences with his family. At this point it was getting loud and K.Y was crying so I told hubby to relax. He didn't, let just say the living room wall understood he was angry. So I told him I want to go somewhere I feel safe. I left with K.Y and we are currently in a hotel. I want to move to another city and start life fresh there, I can request for a transfer. My husband expresses himself audibly when angry so what happened after

that was so unusual and a shock. He has called me asking me to come home and that he was just frustrated. He know this account and he know about the posts, so he saw the comments that I got. He sent a message about how I let strangers love the internet get into my head and convince me against my family. He said he felt torn between supporting his sister and supporting me and I can't blame him for not knowing which side to take. I told him I don't want K. Y to grow up in such an environment and stopped replying. I don't know if I was dramatic or I did too much. I still don't understand why he got so angry and why he reacted that way. I also want to know why his mom and sister lied to him. I don't know there's a lot of uncertainty right now, but K.Y. and I are safe.

I will talk to a lawyer about the next steps to take. I feel at peace. I have gone to through so much in my five years of marriage, I now want to raise my son in a healthy environment. Thank you for all the support really. Comment from Upps Husband, Ups Husband, downvoted. I'm sick of this, every account make is deleted and it's cause nobody want to hear my side. Redacted, I hope you are happy breaking your own family up cause of these strangers. You clearly enjoy strangers on the internet call me vile words. Please unblock me, I still deserve to see my son.

Oop, don't say my name on a public app. I am happy because I am safe. Stop posting stories trying to get attention. You were barely there when I was carrying Kise and now you want to see him. If I was to list everything you have done to me and you had allowed your sister to do, Reddit wouldn't allow that. Just remind your sister that I have a burn mark. I stayed through all this. Please stop embarrassing yourself.

Update 3, June 15, 2020. me 5. Hi everyone, I want to thank you for the support I received on my last post. It really meant a lot to me. I did not reply to all your comments but I saw most of them and I appreciate all the advice I got. This is as my last update for a few months. I will final update maybe around December or November. Happy, belated, Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there, biological or not, kids or not, you are all amazing. So the police took my statement and I showed them. the bruising, they opened a file for my case. They talked to my husband and Sill advising them to keep their distance. I want to apply for a protection order so they don't come near Kise and an

I. My Sill, hubby and Mill have not contacted me since their talk with the cops. As for our marriage, it's definitely over. Since I am a foreigner I can't just pack and leave especially since we have a child together. I would need his father's consent to leave the country and we all know he will not give permission for that. I talk to a lawyer about my options and the laws around DV, travel, and custody. Legal action is going to take time. The protection order could take a few weeks. Since I want to leave and take away his parental rights, I have to prove DV and that he is unfit and can potentially hurt Kise. Kice also needs a passport. The whole legal process will take time, months if we are speaking. If my husband does contest anything, then it will take

even longer. I was told it could six months or more to fully sort out the custody and permission to leave the country with Baby Kentucky. It's not going to be fast, but I'm willing to have the patience for this if it means safety for my son and I. Good news as my parents and brothers are flying over, they will arrive end of this week. So yeah, yesterday that was all I did, met the police and a lawyer, also moved to live with a friend of mine and her husband. My dad and brothers said they want to talk to my husband, soon to be X, about men's I don't think that's a good idea, L.O.L. The stress and everything of this has made my milk supply drop significantly. In my first post I mentioned in the comments that it is low but it has

gotten worse. I really want to be able to fully feed my baby and I try so hard to be hydrated and eat well. I need sleep. Kai has also been very fussy. This update might be all over the place, but I made progress. Hopefully in a few months' time I will be giving a great update from my parents house. I didn't do a lot, but there's so much to do, but it's one step at a time. I might not respond to all your comments, but I promise I see your advice and appreciate it. Thank you for all the support. Next story, College X stalked me for years until my friend scared him away, but when my friend passed away my stalker came back and my husband told me I was overreacting until we found a GPS tracker hidden under my car. So I, 32F, and my husband, 33M, have been arguing a lot

recently over my old stalker. For some background back in college, I was 24, I dated a guy, let's call him Fred, for around two months. Fred was interesting to say the least, to save time he had several red flags once we started dating, so I dumped him. Fred acted like he couldn't care less, so I thought that was that. Few months go by and I'm starting to see Fred everywhere. I see him at the grocery store I go to, my go-to-nail place, my favorite restaurants, etc. I thought it was just a weird coincidence so I left it at that. A year after our breakup he starts messaging me, telling me he was the happiest with me and that he misses me so much. I called BS and blocked him. Then things escalated, Fred changed

numbers every time I blocked him, made new social media accounts, and I started seeing his car everywhere. I tried getting a restraining order against Fred but since he hadn't done anything to me, they couldn't do anything. A few months later I was walking to my car at night, Fred coincidentally saw me walking alone and offered me a ride home. I said no, that I had my own car and kept walking. Fred proceeded to get out of his car and tried pushing me to his car. I punched him and ran to my car. I drove away and luckily he didn't follow. I tried again to get a restraining order but it was basically his word against mine. They gave me a temporary restraining order but that's it.

I was terrified of even walking outside and deleted all my socials. Thankfully a very close friend, let's call him Pete, stepped in to defend me. Pete ended up threatening Fred and I finally stopped hearing from Fred. I felt free and slowly got back into my normal life. Now to present day, I'm now married to my husband. I've graduated from college and live alone with my husband. We moved to a nearby city and bought a house together. Sadly, a month ago Pete died during his sleep and I was absolutely devastated.

I've known Pete since I was in high school and he was my closest friend. To be honest, I'm still not over his death and sometimes I can't believe he's gone. But guess who heard about his death? That's right folks Fred found out and is now back. I received texts from Fred a few days after Pete died. I now see him everywhere and he's insisting we talk. I just walk away and ignore him. I've reported him but nothing has happened so I deleted my socials again.

Friends have been telling me Fred has been asking around about me. He's asked if I moved, what am I doing lately, if I have other social media accounts, etc. I'm honestly terrified. I've moved since I finished college but somehow I see him at my gym, grocery store, park, etc. It honestly makes me believe he never stopped watching me and it's terrifying. I've told my husband about everything and he says I'm overreacting or just plain ignores my concerns and changes the subject. I've argued that he doesn't care and he argues back asking what do I expect him to do. He says that Fred doesn't know where we live and that will just change gyms.

My husband is telling me to just change my regular routine and stop going to certain places. He says it's no big deal and Fred is harmless. I'm like Fred tried to force me into his car. How is that harmless? My husband has been distant ever since this started and I feel alone. I don't want to tell my friends in fear they will tell Fred. I can't go to my family because I'm in no contact with them. And of course my husband couldn't care less.

I need advice. What do I do? Am I crazy? Should I just change my gym and my routine like how my husband says? Part of me just wants to move completely but another part is basically asking myself why do I have to uproot my life and change everything because of him? Can't he just leave me alone? It's been like 10 years already and I want to move on from this. Should I just talk to Fred hoping he'll finally leave me alone? Update 1, May 23, 2025. Some more information about my stalker situation. My friends don't talk to Fred and they are

aware of the situation. Fred has reached out to them randomly asking about me. They have have reported and blocked him as well. Now for the update, last night I decided to have a serious conversation with my husband one last time. I sat down with him and explained the whole situation again, told him how scared I've been and that he needs to take this seriously. I wanted to show him how terrified I was. How small I've been made to feel not just by Fred but also him. How his lack of support slash concern for my own safety is making me question our marriage. I asked if he'd even do anything if I was found in a ditch. He was silent the whole time while looking at the floor.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before I got up to pack my things. My husband proceeded to cry. He apologized and said he'd make this right. He said he didn't want to overreact in fear of scaring me more. But when in reality it made me feel alone. My husband has been looking into Fred, without my knowledge, and has found out where he works, lives and even Fred's family contact information. He wanted to gather more information about Fred before contacting a lawyer. We're both taking a few days off of work to get our ducks in a row. We're getting a

lawyer and gathering evidence of Fred's harassment. We're also currently looking for a therapist, for we can both talk about this whole situation and other issues we have in our marriage. I also have some voicemails Fred has left me and I officially think he's lost it. I have an Apple iPhone and you're able to see voicemails from blocked numbers. Some of the messages are of him saying straight up gibberish while others or as if he's having a conversation with me. He says things like, Oh yeah, babe, I get off work late so tonight is a no-go or I'm off so you can come pick it up right now. No. Yeah. I don't know. I can't do this anymore. There's a lot of fashion in my life. It sounds like he's having a conversation but it's no one else just him and it's terrifying.

My husband does feel bad and is trying his best to console me. He has apologized repeatedly for making me feel lonely and has been more supportive slash open. Currently he's looking through my car to check if there's anything that might be giving my location to Fred. I'll keep you all updated if we find anything or if anything else happens. Thank you all for your advice and support. Update 2, June 6, 2025. Wasn't sure if I should make an update but decided to anyone. to maybe get some more advice.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice and encouragement. I finished listening to the book The Gift of Fear and it really opened my eyes to a lot. Now on to the update, after my husband didn't find anything in my car, I still felt something wrong so I took people's advice and took my car to the mechanic. Told my mechanic about my situation and if he could take a look at my car. And to my horror, a couple days later, my mechanic found a small little cube that was placed hidden under my car. At first I really wanted to believe it was just part of my car or something. But my mechanic explained that it wasn't and it was deliberately hidden. The cube is really small

and magnetic. I called my lawyer right then and told them everything. I got pictures of the GPS and where it was placed. I thanked the mechanic and drove to my lawyer's office. At this point I was shaking and wanted to cry. How long had the GPS been there? How long has Fred been following me without me knowing? Was he watching me at that moment? Is he going to add another one? I called my husband to meet me at the lawyer's office and told him everything. At the office I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to run away and not look back. I was terrified and I felt so violated, knowing I was being watched for who knows how long. With everything we had gathered, my lawyer was able to get a temporary restraining that same day.

We are currently going through the process of getting a restraining order where I will have to go to court and see Fred again. My lawyer says the process can be long and draining, but it's something I do need to get for my own safety. I got a bit scared and had my husband's car also checked for anything. Thankfully nothing was found in his car. I started feeling watched at home, so I had my whole house turned upside down looking for anything maybe Fred had placed. Again, thankfully nothing was found. I've told neighbors about what we found and to keep an eye out for anyone suspicious. I've also started my safety training for handling a gun and shooting and still trying to get my CCW, but it can be a long process. Thank you again for

everyone who has given me advice and I'll keep you updated if creepy Fred tries anything. I hope you enjoy this story. My partner employed business journeys as a guise to rendezvous with ladies from matchmaking applications in various urban centers. When I discreetly departed while he was absent, he arrived inebriated and punched my brother-in-law in the face. I met my boyfriend Jake three years ago through mutual friends at a party that my co-worker was hosting, and honestly he seemed like such a great guy from the start because he was funny and charming and he actually listened when I talked instead of just waiting for his turn to speak like so many guys do. We hit it off immediately and started dating pretty seriously after just a few weeks,

and by the six-month mark we were basically spending every night together at either his place or mine. He worked in sales for this big construction company and I work as a dental hygienist, so our schedules lined up pretty well most of the time and we could actually see each other regularly, which was nice. About a year and a half into our relationship, we decided to move in together and found this cute little apartment that was perfect for both of us, and everything was going really well for the most part. Jake was always really social and had this tight group of guy friends that he'd known since college, and they would all hang out pretty regularly for poker nights or to watch sports or whatever. His friends seemed okay when I met them, though I always got this

weird vibe from a couple of them, especially this guy named Marcus who would make these comments about how Jake was whipped now that he had a girlfriend. And another guy named Tyler who would always be talking about all the women he was hooking up with and seemed to think that being in a relationship was some kind of prison sentence. The thing is, Jake's job started requiring more travel about eight months ago because his company was expanding

into new markets and they needed experienced salespeople to go set up relationships with new clients in different cities. At first it was just like one trip a month for maybe two or three days, and Jake seemed excited about it, because it meant more money and better opportunities for advancement. I was supportive because I wanted him to succeed in his career, and the trips weren't that frequent so it didn't really affect our relationship much. But then the trips started getting more frequent, like every couple of weeks,

and they were lasting longer too, sometimes four or five days instead of just two or three. Jake would always tell me about where he was going and what clients he was meeting with, and he would text me throughout the day and call me at night when he was in his hotel room, so I didn't really have any reason to be suspicious at first. The money was definitely better too because he was getting bonuses for all the new accounts he was bringing in, so we were able to afford nicer things and go out to better restaurants and stuff like that. The first time I started feeling like something might be off was maybe four months ago when Jake

came back from a trip and he just seemed different somehow. Not bad different, but like he was more energetic and happy in a way that seemed kind of excessive for someone who had just spent three days in boring business meetings. I asked him about it and he said the trip had gone really well and he was just excited about landing some big new accounts, which made sense, I guess, but there was something about the way he was acting that just felt weird to me. Then there were these little things that started adding up over time, like how he would always shower immediately when he got home from trips, even if he had showered at the hotel that morning before his flight. And he started being more protective of his phone, but like he would always make sure it was face down when he put it down, and if it buzzed while we were watching TV or something. something he would grab it really quickly and check it in a way that seemed almost nervous. He also started talking less about the specifics of his trips, like before he would tell me all

about the restaurants he went to and the weird things that happened at the airport and stuff, but now he would just say the trip was fine and changed the subject. His friends were also acting weird around me, like they would get quiet when I walked into the room if Jake wasn't there yet, and I caught Marcus and Tyler exchanging these looks a couple of times when Jake was talking about his work trips. When I mentioned this to Jake, he said I was being paranoid and that his friends were just being their usual immature selves, and maybe he was right, but it still bothered me. The thing that really started making me suspicious was about six weeks ago when Jake said he had to go on this big important trip to Denver for a whole week because they were trying to land this massive

client that could basically set him up for a promotion. He was really excited about it and said it was going to be intense with meetings every day and client dinners every night, so he probably wouldn't be able to talk as much as usual. I said I understood and wished him luck, but something about the whole thing just felt off to me, though I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was. While he was gone, I barely heard from him at all, which was totally different from his other trips where he would text me throughout the day and call me every night. When I did get texts from him, they were really short and basic, like just saying he was busy and would talk to me later. I tried calling him a couple of times but it went straight to voicemail, and when he finally called me back hours later

he said he had been in meetings all day and his phone had been on silent. When he got back from that trip, he was acting even weirder than before, like he was almost guilty about something but trying to cover it up by being extra affectionate and buying me flowers and suggesting we go out to this expensive restaurant that we had been talking about trying. I appreciated the gesture. I appreciated the but it felt like he was trying to make up for something, though I couldn't figure out what. A couple of weeks after that, I was at his poker night at our apartment and I went to the kitchen to get drinks for everyone, and I overheard Marcus saying something to Tyler about how Jake needed to be more careful about his phone, and Tyler said something back about how some

girls will go through your stuff if you give them the chance. They stopped talking when they saw me, but I definitely heard enough to know they were talking about Jake in about me, and it made me feel sick to my stomach because what reason would Jake have to be careful about his phone unless he was hiding something from me? That night after his friends left, I asked Jake what Marcus meant about being careful with his phone, and Jake got this defensive look on his face and said Marcus was just being an idiot and talking about some girl he was dating who was super jealous and controlling. He said it had nothing to do with us and I shouldn't worry about what his friends say because they don't understand relationships like ours. I wanted to believe him

but the way he answered made me feel like he was lying, and I started paying more attention to how he acted with his phone around me. Over the next couple of weeks, I noticed that he was definitely being more secretive about his phone, like he would take it with him to the bathroom, and he started charging it on his side of the bed instead of on the nightstand where he used to leave it.

He also started getting texts and notifications at weird times, like late at night or early in the morning, and when I asked who was texting him, he would just say it was work stuff or one of his friends. The whole situation came to a head last weekend when Jake was in the shower and his phone was on the bed next to me, and it lit up with a notification that I could see clearly from where I was sitting. It was from some app one didn't recognize with a woman's name and a message that said something like had such an amazing time last night, can't wait to see you again. There was absolutely no innocent explanation for a message like that, and I knew I had to figure out what was going on. So I picked up his phone and it was still unlocked from when he was using it before he was.

his shower, and I saw that the notification was from this dating app that I had never heard of before. I opened the app and saw that he had an active profile with recent photos of himself that I had never seen before, and he had been messaging with multiple women over the past few months. I read through some of the conversations and they were all clearly about meeting up for hookups, and some of the women were from cities where he had been on his work trips. I felt like I was in some kind of nightmare because the man I thought I knew and loved had apparently been cheating on me for months and lying to my face about it. When Jake got out of the shower and saw me holding his phone, his face went completely white

and he knew immediately that I had seen everything. I asked him how long this had been going on and how many women he had been with, and he started trying to make excuses about how it wasn't what it looked like and how he had never actually met up with any of them and was just talking to them online because he was feeling insecure about our relationship. I told him that was complete bullshit because I had read the messages and they were clearly making plans to meet up, and some of the conversations were from when he was supposedly in other cities for work. He finally admitted that he had met up with a few women but said it didn't mean anything and he was just going through some kind of phase and he wanted to work things out with me

because he loved me and knew he had made a huge mistake. I told him I needed time to think and asked him to stay at one of his friend's places for a few days while I figured out what I wanted to do. He begged me not to kick him out and promised he would delete all the apps and never talk to any other women again, but I said I couldn't even look at him right now and needed space to process everything. I've been getting texts from him all day begging me to talk to him and saying he'll do whatever it takes to fix this, but I don't even know if this is something that can be fixed or if I should just cut my losses and move on. I'd have for going through my boyfriend's phone after finding a suspicious notification and confronting him about the dating apps he's

been using behind my back. Update, I posted a few days ago about finding dating apps on my boyfriend Jake's phone and confronting him about it, and I said I needed time to think about what to do next. Well, I ended up doing some more digging because I couldn't stop thinking about all those work trips he had been taking, and what I found out is so much worse. After Jake left to stay at Marcus's place like I asked him to, I couldn't sleep that first night because my mind was racing with all these questions about how long this had been going on and how extensive his cheating had been. I kept thinking about that week-long trip to Denver where he barely contacted me and how different he had been acting when he came back, and I realized I needed to know the truth about what had

really been happening on all those trips. I remembered that Jake had this work laptop that he sometimes used at home, and I knew he kept travel confirmations and receipts in his email for expense reports. I logged into his email while he was gone and started looking through his travel bookings from the past few months. What I found made me feel physically sick because basically none of his recent trips matched up with what he had told me about where he was going and why. Like that Denver trip where he said he was meeting with this huge potential client for a week, his hotel booking was actually for a completely different city, and when I looked at his credit card statements that were also in his email, I could see charges for two dinners every night he was gone, which definitely suggested

he wasn't eating alone. I also found booking confirmations for hotels and cities where his doesn't even have clients, and when I cross-referenced the dates with his dating app conversations that I had screenshoted before, forgot to mention in the first post, he deleted everything. I could see that he had been planning meetups with women in those exact cities on those exact dates. It was like putting together this horrible puzzle where every piece confirmed that he had been systematically lying to me for months. The worst part was finding out that his friends had been helping him cover for it the whole time. I found text conversations between Jake, and Marcus where Marcus was literally giving him advice about how to keep his story straight and what to tell me if I got suspicious.

There was one message from Tyler about how Jake needed to be more careful about his dating app notifications, which explained that weird conversation I had overheard at poker night. Marcus had even helped Jake come up with fake emergencies when women he had met wanted to extend their hookups. And Tyler had apparently covered for Jake a couple of times when I had called Jake's phone and he was with other women, by taking the phone and making up stories about how Jake was in the bathroom or in a meeting and would call me back later. I felt so stupid for believing all of it and for trusting not just Jake but his friends too, who had been looking me in the eye and pretending to be friendly while they were actively helping my boyfriend cheat on me. I also felt terrible about all the times I had defended Jake to my own friends and family

when they made comments about how he seemed to be traveling a lot for work, because I had actually been covering for his cheating without even knowing it. When I confronted Jake about what I had found, he tried to minimize it at first by saying he had only actually slept with a few of the women and that most of them were just conversations that didn't go anywhere. But when I showed him that I had seen his hotel bookings and credit card statements, he finally admitted that he had been meeting women in different cities for months and that his friends had been helping him keep it secret from me. He said it started after that first Chicago trip when he matched with someone on a dating app just out of curiosity, and he ended up meeting her for drinks which led to her. to them hooking up in his hotel room. He said he felt terrible about it afterwards, but then he kept thinking about how exciting it had been to be with someone new, and when his company started sending him on more trips

he saw it as an opportunity to explore that side of himself without me finding out. Jake said he never meant for it to become such a regular thing and that he always planned to stop and just focus on our relationship, but every time he went on a trip the temptation was there and it was easy to justify it because I would never find out and it didn't affect how he felt about me. He said he loved me and wanted to be with me, and the other women were just physical and didn't mean anything emotional to him. I told him that it didn't matter how he justified it to himself because he had been lying to my face for months and using his job as covered to cheat on me with multiple women, and that his friends had been part of the deception which made it even worse.

I said I felt like I didn't even know who he really was anymore because the person I thought I was in love with would never do something like this to me. He kept apologizing and saying he would do whatever it took to earn back my trust, including finding a new job that didn't require travel and cutting off his friends who had helped him cheat. But I told him that the problem wasn't just the cheating, it was the months of elaborate lies and manipulation, and the fact that he had made me feel crazy for having suspicions when my gut was actually right about what was happening. Right now I'm staying at my sister's house because I couldn't stand being in our apartment with all the reminders of the life I thought we had together.

Jake has been calling and texting constantly. I told him I needed more time to figure out what I wanted to do, but honestly I'm leaning toward just ending things because I don't see how we could ever get back to a place of trust after something like this. So I guess I'm writing this update partly to organize my own thoughts and partly because some people asked me to let them know what happened next. I'm still figuring out the logistics of moving out and separating our finances and all of that practical stuff, but emotionally I think I'm starting to accept that this relationship is over and that I need to focus on rebuilding my life without him. Final update, this is probably going to be my last update about this whole situation because things escalated in a really scary way and I just want to put this all behind me and move on with my life. I'm writing this partly because some people have been following my story and asking for updates,

and partly because I think it might help other people who are dealing with similar situations to see how these things can spiral out of control even when you think you're handling them reasonably. After my last update where I talked about finding out that all of Jake's work trips were actually cover stories for meeting women from dating apps, I moved out and spent about a week staying at my sister Lucy's house while I tried to figure out what I wanted to do next. Jake had been calling and texting me constantly during that time, and he had also been showing up at my work and leaving flowers and notes at Lucy's house, even though I had told him multiple times that I needed space and didn't want to see him while I was processing everything. Lucy and her husband David were amazing during this time and really supportive of whatever decision I wanted to make, but they were also getting frustrated with Jake's constant attempts to contact me because it was affecting their household too. David especially was getting annoyed because Jake would call their house phone at all hours looking for me,

and he had started parking outside their house sometimes just waiting to see if I would come out. I had been going back and forth about whether to try to work things out with Jake or just end the relationship completely, because even though what he did was unforgivable, we had been together for three years and had built a life together that was hard to just walk away from. But the more I thought about it and talked to my family, the more I realized that I could never trust him again and that staying with him would probably just lead to more problems down the road. So I decided that I was going to move out of our apartment permanently and end the relationship, and I wanted to do it while Jake was out of town on what he claimed was a legitimate work trip.

He had left two days earlier for what he said was a quick overnight trip to meet with a client about renewing their contract, and I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to get my stuff and leave without having to deal with a big dramatic confrontation. Lucy and David helped me rent a small moving truck, and we went to the apartment on Thursday morning to pack up all my belongings and furniture that I had contributed to our shared household. It took us most of the day to get everything loaded up, and I also took the opportunity to remove my name from our joint bank account and cancel the utilities that were in my name. I left Jake a letter explaining that I had decided to end the relationship and that I would be in touch about any remaining logistics, but that I didn't want him to contact me directly for a while

because I needed time to heal and move on. The plan was for me to stay with Lucy and David for a few more weeks while I looked for my own apartment, and everything seemed to be going smoothly until Jake came back from his trip and found our apartment mostly empty and my letter waiting for him. According to the angry voicemails he left on my phone, he was completely shocked that I had actually moved out because he thought he still had a chance to convince me to forgive him and work things out. He started calling Lucy's house immediately and demanding to talk to me, but I had asked Lucy

and David not to tell him I was there, so they just said they didn't know where I was and that he should stop calling. He didn't believe them obviously, and he spent most of Friday night and Saturday morning driving by their house and calling over and over again. Lucy finally had to unplug their house phone because it was ringing constantly, and David was getting really angry about the whole situation. Things got really scary on Saturday evening when Jake showed up at Lucy's front door with his friend Marcus, and both of them seemed like they had been drinking because I could smell alcohol on them when Lucy opened the door. Jake was demanding to see me and saying that I owed him a face-to-face conversation

after three years together, and that he wasn't leaving until I talked to him and gave him a chance to explain himself and make things right. Lucy told them that I wasn't there, I was upstairs in the guest bedroom and had asked her not to admit that I was in the house. But Jake said he knew I was there because my car was parked down the street, and he pushed past Lucy into the house and started calling my name and saying he just wanted to talk to me for five minutes. David came down from upstairs when he heard the commotion and told Jake that he needed to leave immediately because he was trespassing and making Lucy uncomfortable. But Jake was really

agitated and kept saying that this was all a misunderstanding and that if I would just talk to him, we could work everything out. Marcus was trying to calm him down, but also backing him up by saying that I was being unreasonable and that relationships required compromise and forgiveness. I could hear everything that was happening from upstairs and I was honestly terrified because I had never seen Jake act like this before, even when we were fighting about the cheating. He sounded desperate and angry in a way that made me afraid of what he might do if I actually came downstairs and tried to talk to him. David kept telling them both that they needed to leave and that they could call me later if

they wanted to talk, but Jake was getting more and more worked up and saying that he had every right to see his girlfriend and that David didn't understand the situation. When David said that I wasn't Jake's girlfriend anymore and that he was going to call the police if they didn't leave voluntarily, Jake completely lost it and started yelling about how David was just some random guy who didn't know anything about our relationship and needed to mind his own business. The situation escalated really quickly from there because David stepped between Jake and the stairs leading up to where I was hiding, and Jake took that as some kind of challenge and shoved David really hard. David stumbled backwards and hit his shoulder on the wall, and then Jake tried to push past him to get upstairs, which made David grab onto Jake's arm to stop him. That's when Jake completely snapped and punched David in the face, which split David's lip and knocked him down. Lucy started screaming and I came running downstairs because I was afraid Jake was going to really hurt David, and when Jake saw me he started apologizing and saying he didn't mean to hit anyone and just wanted to talk to me alone for a minute. But I was absolutely terrified at that point because if Jake was willing to punch my brother-in-law just for trying to protect me, I didn't know what he might do to me if I refused to listen to what he had to say.

So I told Lucy to call 911 while I tried to keep Jake calm by saying that we could talk but that he needed to let David get some ice for his face first. Marcus was trying to get Jake to leave before the police showed up, but Jake was still insisting that he just needed a few minutes to explain himself and that everything would be fine once I understood his side of the same. story. He kept saying that the whole thing was being blown out of proportion and that David had started the physical confrontation by grabbing his arm. When the police arrived about 10 minutes later, Jake finally seemed to realize how serious the situation had become, and he started trying to downplay what had happened by saying it was just a misunderstanding between friends and that nobody wanted to press charges. But David's face was already swelling up and it was obvious that he had been punched, and Lucy and I both told the officers exactly what had happened and how

Jake had forced his way into the house and refused to leave when asked. The officers arrested Jake for assault and trespassing, and they also took Marcus in for questioning since he had been part of the initial break-in. Jake was still trying to talk to me as they were putting him in the police car, saying that he loved me and that this was all just a big mistake and that he would never hurt me or anyone in my family. David had to go to the emergency room to get his lip checked out and make sure his nose wasn't broken, but fortunately he was okay except for some bruising and swelling. Lucy was really shaken up by the whole thing because she had never experienced anything like that before, and she said it made her understand why domestic violence

situations can escalate so quickly and unpredictably. Jake spent the night in jail and was released on bail. His lawyer has been trying to contact me about dropping the charges, but David and I both decided that we want to pursue the assault case because Jake needs to understand that there are real consequences for his actions. I've also been in touch with a law. I've also been in touch with a about getting a restraining order because I'm genuinely afraid of what Jake might do next, especially since he seems to think that everything that happened was somehow justified by his feelings for me. I'm staying with Lucy and David for a few more weeks until I can find my own place, and I'm also taking some time off work to deal with all the legal stuff and just process everything

that's happened. I feel like I've been through an emotional tornado over the past few weeks, and I need some time to figure out who I'm outside of that relationship and what I want my life to look like going forward. I wanted to write this final update partly to thank everyone who gave me support and advice during this whole nightmare, and partly to encourage anyone who might be in a similar situation to trust their instincts and prioritize their safety above everything else. I never thought that my relationship could go from seemingly normal to violent and scary in such a short period of time, but it's made me realize how important it is to have exit strategies and support systems in place even when everything seems fine on the surface.

I hope you enjoy this story. My partner's identical twin sister continued to undermine our plans for the wedding, and when I attempted to rescind her invitation, he sided with her. Subsequently, I discovered that he had covertly learned the gender of our upcoming child. Just to tell her so I called off wedding. My fiancé, Nate, 27M, and I, 26F, have been together for almost three years. He proposed to me about six months ago. and shortly after, we found out I was pregnant.

We are planning on having our wedding in the spring of next year. Nate has a twin sister, 27F, who we will call Kayla. Nate and I announced our engagement and my pregnancy at the same time. We made a cute little Facebook post with a couple engagement picks and an ultrasound photo that said something along the lines of the Smith family is going to have two new additions. Kayla commented almost immediately that we will have to wait until next year to actually get married because she looks best in fall colors and as my maid of honor she'll get a say in choosing bridesmaid's dresses. I literally stared at my phone screen wondering if I read something wrong.

I showed the comment to Nate and asked him why she thought she would be my maid of honor. He had no clue. So, I texted her and this is how that exchange went. Me, hey Kayla, I see you saw our announcement on Facebook. Thank you for being ready to step up for me, but we haven't started working out wedding logistics yet. And I haven't picked my bridesmaids, much less my maid of honor. Once we have more details of the wedding worked out, we will let you know. Kayla, well, you don't have to choose a maid of honor anymore. I'm your maid of honor.

Me, I don't understand. I never asked you to be? Kayla, you don't have to ask. That's what makes me such a good sister. Me, I'm sorry, you are not my mother. maid of honor. Kala, we'll see about that. I showed these messages to Nate who said he would deal with it. I have no idea what the extent of their conversation was, but Kayla never brought up being my maid of honor again. She just reared her ugly attitude in different ways. As of now, Nate and I have

booked the venues, caterer, the florals, decorations, and the DJ already. A couple months ago, I invited mine and Nate's mothers, along with my sister, Sam, who I asked to be my maid of honor, to do some dress shopping. Kayla found out from her mom and invited herself to tag along. We started by looking for a dress for Sam. I wanted my bridesmaids in a pretty pastel yellow, but Sam's is going to be more golden. Kayla would not shut up about how yellow is such an ugly color and I should go with pink or blue instead. She even grabbed a bunch of pink and blue dresses to try on herself. I tried my best to

ignore her while her mother entertained her bizarre ideas. Sam and my mother were making constant comments about how it's my wedding and if Kayla isn't going to be helpful, she should just leave. Unfortunately, she didn't and I am too nice to kick her out in front of my mill who I already have a strained relationship with. Our mothers were able to shop for their dresses with little interference from Kayla, but as soon as I started trying things on, she had all sorts of things to say. She would tell me that certain styles wouldn't look good once I had a baby bawd and even told me I should consider not wearing white since I'm obviously not a virgin. I told her she wasn't a virgin when she got married either, yet she still wore an adorable

white sundress to the courthouse. She grumbled about how that wasn't the same, but I was already halfway back to the changing room. I still don't know what happened while I was in there, but when I came out, Kayla and Mill were gone and Sam had a smug smile on her face. I never discussed any details of the wedding with Kayla if I could help it, but I've heard Nate sharing some of our plans with her. He told her we were planning on a buffet-style meal because we have a lot of dietary restrictions in our families and that was the cheapest way to accommodate everybody, literally like a few thousand dollar difference, and she told him he deserves someone who wouldn't go cheap on his wedding, even though the buffet was his idea.

He told her about our venue choices. He picked the reception venue, I picked the ceremony venue, which is the same place my parents got married. My father passed away and since he cannot walk me down the aisle, I always wanted to get married in the same place he married my mom to sort of feel like he was there with us. She told Nate that my venue choice was tacky and people would make fun of us. When he mentioned he wanted a DJ, she made a comment about how she knew I wasn't classy enough to want a live band. Each and every time she would make comments like this,

Nate would tell her that they were his ideas, but not call her out for how she spoke about me, which I do feel a little hurt by. I've expressed this to him and he told me that he would try to do better about calling her out, but she's just always been this way. I told him that's no excuse for her to be disrespectful and stick her nose into business that doesn't concern her. He hesitantly agreed.

On Friday, I got an email from the venue for our ceremony, confirming our cancellation and asking if we needed to reschedule. Shortly after that, I got a voicemail from our caterer explaining that my new wedding planner had just called, but the line had dropped and was wondering if I could pass along her phone number so they could finish going over changes to the menu. I immediately emailed the venue back, saying that no, we are not canceling or rescheduling, please keep our original date on the books. I called the caterer, who explained that a woman had called and said she was my new wedding planner.

She had said that I wanted to make some changes to the contract, namely switching from a buffet-style to plated meals. I told him that this was not the case. I do not have a wedding planner and please do not make any changes unless contacted by me or Nate directly with the contact information we have on file. The caterer suggested putting a password on file also. He said he wouldn't make any changes unless the person requesting them knew the password. I called both venues and all of our other vendors to put in place the same types of precautions. They all gave their sympathies for me having to deal with this. When Nate got home from work, I confronted him about it.

I told him someone tried to cancel my venue and change our catering. I told him the only person it could be is Kayla. He tried to deny and say that she wouldn't do it, but I reminded him of how she's undermined and insulted me during every step of this engagement. I told him I wanted her uninvited. I will give someone who has already done so much to make this wedding stressful the opportunity to do something like show up in white. He fought me on this, but I basically told him that I felt disrespected by him over how he is allowing Kayla to treat me. I'm his partner and the mother of his child.

My feelings and comfort should be more important to him than his sister's childish antics. We met with her for lunch earlier today and once we got dessert, he asked her if she was trying to do. trying to make changes to our wedding plans. She said, and I quote, well, yeah, it's the maid of honor's job to make sure the bride is making the right decisions. Before Nate could even say anything, I told her she is not my maid of honor, and even if she was, that would not give her the authority to undermine our decisions and make changes to the wedding plans and budget behind our backs. She said she didn't see what the big deal was since her grandmother had offered us a pretty large chunk of change as a present to help pay for the wedding. I told her again, the wedding

budget is none of her business. She tried to argue, but I just cut her off. I told her that her behavior regarding our wedding thus far has been nothing but disrespectful and insulting. I told her trying to cancel my venue had crossed the line and she was no longer invited to the wedding. She seemed absolutely shocked by this. She looked at Nate, waiting for him to defend her. And then he did. He looked at me and said, Why don't we give her one more chance? I asked if he was kidding, he said no.

That Kayla was only doing what she thought was best for us. And now that we've told her that it wasn't okay, we should give her a chance to correct her behavior. I didn't even respond. I just got up and left. I went and got in my car and drove home, thinking to myself if he wanted to side with his sister, then he could rely on her to get home. I ignored him trying to get a hold of me. Once at home,

I packed a small bag and left for Sam's house. I told her everything and she told me I could stay as long as I needed to. But now she's at work for the night and that's where I am now. Trying to process what just happened. Trying to figure out when I became second place in Nate's life. Trying to figure out if there's any way to fix what he just broke in me. He keeps switching between asking where I am, telling me he didn't think this was that big of a deal, and apologizing and asking me to come home and talk. I don't feel ready to talk to him just yet. I'm still too upset and I feel like I'll do or say something I will regret like call off the wedding altogether. I just told all my vendors that we aren't canceling the wedding, but right now I kind of want to. I don't know if it's my

hormones making me feel crazy or if I'm valid and how hurt I'm feeling. I just don't know what to do or what to think. So, Ida for not wanting to give her a second chance? Or is my fiancé right that she deserves a chance to prove herself before she's uninvited from the wedding altogether? Update. First of all, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who read my original post and offer their judgments and advice. Writing this out really helped me process what I was feeling and hearing that I wasn't overreacting or just being hormonal from people that are removed from the situation was very comforting. I read every single comment and there is no way to express how much all the kind words meant to me. There were lots and lots of comments asking for an update, but I wanted to wait

until after I had talked to Nate. I spent last night at Sam's house and mostly ignored Nate's texts and calls. Kayla texted me once also telling me to not let my hormones make me irrational. I just blocked her, but someone advised to unblock and just silence her notifications so if she escalates, I could maybe use it in court for my custody case. I did unblock her earlier today, and I'm glad I did. But we'll get there. I replied to Nate at one point last night telling him that I was safe and at Sam's house and that I would be home tomorrow, today, after work to talk about everything. I expressed again that I was feeling really hurt about not being heard or backed up by him and that I needed time to decide what I wanted to do. He asked what I meant by that, if I meant

canceling the wedding altogether. I told him that is exactly what I was considering. His reply, Don't let your hormones make you do something irrational. We'll talk tomorrow. Anyone else want to take a guess as to where he got that line? That just about made my decision for me. I didn't reply, not even when he texted me good night, I love you. Instead, before I went to bed for the night, I sent him a link to my post and told him to read through it before we talk. Someone said he probably sent it to Kayla, too. If she did read it, she hasn't commented and if she texted me about it, it was while I had her blocked.

This morning, I called into work and had breakfast with Sam. She gave me the number of a family lawyer that her friend used for his custody case. I spoke to the assistant, explained my situation, and luckily, she had a slot open after lunch for an initial consult. So I took a shower and basically just kept reading through the comments on my post until it was time to talk to her. I told the lawyer exactly why I am leaving Nate and how I am terrified over how his sister would influence him with our baby. I don't trust him to not be influenced by Kayla and to have our baby's best interest in mind. I want to fight for sole custody and supervised visitation.

I told her, if possible, I want to include something that restricts Kayla from having any contact with my child. I am already mentally preparing to have to fight Nate in court, because I know he will not agree to any of this. My lawyer told me that while my concerns are valid, it may be difficult to convince a judge to put a contact restriction in the custody order based on family drama alone. She advised me to document everything Kayla has done and anything moving forward so we can present it to the judge if and when we end up in court. She gave me a list of things to think about, like if I want Nate to get any custody at all or just visitation, how I want to handle it. things like medical care or education for my child, if I want to put communication restrictions, like only talking over text. Lots of things I never would have thought of and never thought I would have to think of. We were supposed to do all of this together. She told me to take a few days to

gather my thoughts and decide on what I want. I scheduled an in-person meeting for this Friday to go over everything. I will have my mind straight by then, but if anyone has any advice when it comes to what to put on these custody papers, I'm all ears. After the phone call with my lawyer, I checked some more comments and then took a much-needed nap. When I woke up, I had a text from Nate asking what time I would be off work so he could have dinner ready for me when I get home. I told him I would be there around five, but if Kayla is there, I will be turning around and leaving without a word. I then asked him if he read the post I sent him. He said I did. But I would rather talk to you than read you bash me and my sister on the internet with a bunch of strangers.

Don't worry, I told Kayla she's not welcome. This pissed me off beyond belief. Clearly he either didn't read the post, or still doesn't realize how truly in the wrong they are here. Either way, I lost all motivation to try and talk to work things out. I'm just done. I texted him, don't worry about dinner. All I will be doing is gathering some more things and dropping off my lawyer's contact info.

There's nothing more for us to discuss. He asked what I meant, what lawyer, and told me he's been waiting to talk about this. All I said was fine. Sam wished me luck before I left and assured me I was welcome back once we were done talking. I told her I absolutely would be back and thanked her for everything so far. When I got home, Nate had dinner ready just like he said. I ignored him and just went straight to our room to pack up some more of my clothes and toiletries. He tried asking me if I really wasn't going to talk to him, but I just ignored him for the time being.

Just seeing his face made my anger flare up and I wanted to be smart about our discussion. After a while, he gave up and just went to eat in the dining room. When I was finished I went and sat with him at the table, but didn't touch any of the food. I started a voice memo on my phone before I said, go ahead. He looked at me all confused, so I told him he was the one that wanted to talk and must have so much to say. So, go ahead. He stumbled over his words for a while but ultimately started off with an apology, trying to tell me he didn't realize I was so upset with Kayla's behavior. I asked him if he remembered how hard I cried after I got home from dress shopping because of her comments about my

choices and my body. If he remembered having to talk to her about not being my made of honor. If he remembered our conversation just a few days ago, where I told him canceling my venue that held so much sentiment to me was way too far over the line. He said he did each time and tried to add a but to argue, but I just cut him off with my next example. I told him that after all of that, he 100% should have known I was beyond done with her BLLSHT. I told him I was so hurt and pissed that I wanted her uninvited. But he wanted to give her another chance? To what? Cancel our DJ and book a live band? Die my dress red or show up in white. herself? He told me she would never do that. I told him he told me she would never cancel my

venue, but then she admitted to it in front of our faces. I told him I don't trust his opinion on his sister and that he is just as delusional as she if he thinks she will change. I asked him why he even told her so many details of our wedding anyway. Why does her opinion for our wedding even matter? He tried to tell me that because Kayla didn't get to have a real wedding when she got married, she was just a little too excited about ours. I told him she is all the right in the world to be excited. But that does not give her any rights to insult or change our choices regarding what we want for our wedding. She'll have plenty of opportunities to have a real wedding.

If she could stop for two seconds and take her nose out of our wedding business, she could go out and find a man or woman to marry herself. Poor soul, whoever that may be, I asked him, what's next? She gets to name our baby since she lost her own? The look on his face made my stomach feel hollow. He told me, and I quote, actually, Kayla does have a few ideas for what we could name our daughter. Daughter?

Side note, I had mentioned in a comment previously that we were waiting to be surprised about the gender of our baby. We were discussing baby names and had settled on the top three for each gender. We agreed to keep them to ourselves until the baby is born. I asked if he said daughter and he looked like a deer caught in my headlights. He backtracked but I pressed the issue. I asked him flat out if he knows the gender of our baby. He hesitated, but ultimately confessed to remembering that I filled out an information release form at my first OB visit,

so he called the office and asked them for the results of our gender scan, claiming that we changed our minds and he was going to do a reveal for me. I feel absolutely sick and violated. I asked him what the fuck he was thinking. He said Kayla was feeling left out since Sam was planning my baby shower and not including her and that she just couldn't wait to find out. I demanded he tell me everything. What else has he gone behind my back to do? Did he give her the idea to pretend to be our wedding planner? Was he the one that had her cancel my venue and change our catering? He tried to tell me no, of course not. She did that on her own. But I could just tell that he was lying. He asked, absolutely put her up to all of this. At that point I didn't even care why he did. It's clear that none of our decisions will ever actually be ours. He will always do whatever the hell he wants to and get Kayla to back him up. I don't even want to think about how many of our decisions in the past were completely undermined and changed by these two. I asked him,

if Kayla came to him and told him everything I'm telling him. That she doesn't feel supported by her partner. That her partner went behind her back to learn the gender of their baby without her. That her partner was retroactively, changing every decision that they had agreed upon. That her partner was letting their sibling bully her relentlessly, what would he say to her? He didn't have a response and honestly, if he did, I didn't want to hear it anymore. I knew the answer. I told him that as the woman who is supposed to be his wife, me and the baby I am carrying should be his top priority, not his twin sister. I said him going behind my back like this for something as important as the gender of our baby is absolutely unforgivable. There is nothing that he can say or do

to fix this now. I told him I will no longer be marrying him, but it's up to him if he wants to cancel all the vendors. I said, you're more than welcome to use it all to marry Kayla, seeing as she's the one you obviously care the most about. He tried to backtrack and apologize and explain, but every time I just cut him off and told him that I had heard enough, and my mind was made up. There is no going back now. If he wants to have even the slimmest chance to get me back and have a real relationship with our baby, he will need to attend some serious therapy and do a lot of work on himself and his relationship with Kayla.

I told him no woman in her right mind would ever marry him while he was this and meshed I told him that any contact we have moving forward will be through my lawyer. I want nothing to do with his family, and if I get what I want, they will have nothing to do with my daughter because I'll be damned if I let him subject her to this treatment. I put my lawyer's name and phone number on the table and walked out. He didn't try to follow me. So now, on top of dealing with my lawyer for the custody case, do I have to file a complaint with my OB office? Are they allowed to just give him this information without my express consent? Or did me stupidly putting him on the information release form I sign give them blanket consent

to share any and all information with him? God, I didn't think this. could get any worse, but I guess that's on me for being naive. I'm glad I recorded the conversation, though, and got him admitting to doing all of this. I don't know how or if it will help my custody case, but I sent it to my lawyer with a note that we can discuss more on Friday. I'm back at Sam's place now. She was already at work when I got back, but I texted her to wake me up when she gets home. I need my sister. I also called my mom and told her everything that's happened so far. She cried with me for a while and then asked me if I needed her to do anything. I asked her if she'd be willing to go to the house with Sam and get the rest of my stuff because I do not want to see Nate right now.

Just picturing his face is making me feel sick. She said she is more than willing. Kayla did text me again. I'm assuming Nate talked to her after I left. It was a very long, cruel message that I don't want to repeat here. I can post a screenshot if anyone cares for the whole message. If I can figure out how to attach one, but to summarize, she just called me a delusional control freak who can't let Nate make any decisions for himself and insulted my venue choice once again. And then said that she hopes my baby is stillborn because I don't deserve to be a mother.

Honestly, I after reading it, I thought the message would hurt, but it just gave me a really good laugh. I took a screenshot and sent it to my lawyer as well. And that's where we're at. The wedding is off. I will call all the vendors tomorrow and see if we can get any deposits back. If not, I'll let them know to contact Nate and Kayla to see if they would like to keep things as planned. Let them throw a party for all I care. But I will be canceling my venue regardless of my refund.

Neither of them are going to step foot in that sacred place if I can help it. I didn't realize how much I was letting this way on me until now. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, even though a new one is settling very quickly. Writing everything out like this is truly so freaking helpful for me to process how I'm feeling and what I need to do. I don't know if I'll keep doing formal updates, but for anyone who is interested,

maybe I'll just treat this profile like a little journal as this all unfolds. Thank you again to everyone for all your advice and for showing me that I'm crazy. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner thwarted an armed trespasser with an unloaded rifle at 2 a.m., and she sought legal counsel prior to law enforcement's arrival. Later on, she vanished into the forest. Other night I was sleeping over at my girlfriend's place. She lives in the middle of nowhere practically. No streetlights, no sidewalks. Her house sits at the end of a long gravel driveway surrounded by dense trees. The nearest neighbor is a half mile down the road, and you can't even see their porch light from her property.

She keeps her house completely dark at night except for whatever room she's in. Says it attracts bats and keeps bugs away. I never questioned it before, just thought it was one of her quirky habits. It was around 2 a.m. when everything went to shit. I woke up to her shaking me hard, telling me to call 911 right fucking now. My brain wasn't braining yet, but her voice had that. this edge I'd never heard before. While I fumbled for my phone, she was already moving. By the time I found it and dialed, she was out of the bedroom. I followed her voice, still trying to explain to the

911 operator what was happening when I didn't even know myself. Long story short, some guy had smashed through a window into the garage and was going through my car. I didn't even know what was happening until I stumbled out after her and saw the broken glass everywhere. The guy had a knife, not a small one either. One of those hunting knives with a serrated edge. My girlfriend had grabbed her shotgun from wherever she keeps it. Later found out it wasn't even loaded, which might have been worse because instead of shooting the bastard she ended up using it like a goddamn baseball bat. This guy wasn't right in the head. Maybe drugs, maybe something else. There were bloody handprints on my car already when we got to the garage. When my girlfriend pointed the shotgun at him,

and told him to get out, he didn't run. He charged us. I still can't piece together exactly what happened next. It was dark, and everything moved too fast. My girlfriend somehow tripped him, or maybe he tripped himself, I don't know. Then she started using the stock of the shotgun on his rib cage. Not just hitting him, but methodically pressing down, like she was trying to collapse his lungs. There was this horrible cracking sound. The guy was screaming. Blood everywhere. She didn't stop. I had to physically pull her off him. I grabbed her shoulders and yanked her backward. She didn't resist, just let me pull her away. Then she sat down on the floor, cross-legged, completely calm. Blood all over her. Her pajamas were soaked with it. Some of it was his.

some was probably hers. I found out later she had cuts on her arms from the broken glass. She pulled out her phone and called a lawyer before the cops even showed up. Had the numbers saved in her contacts? Not 911. A lawyer. You have to understand something about my girlfriend. She's the person who stops her car to move turtles off the road.

She catches spiders in cups and releases them outside instead of killing them. She's a practicing Buddhist. Nonviolence is a huge part of her identity. Before this, I would have described her as the gentlest person I know. She cries during animal rescue commercials. For fuck's sake. When the cops finally arrived, they were worse than useless. They barely looked at the broken window.

They kept asking me questions like I was the criminal. They actually tried to handcuff me until my girlfriend stepped in. Her voice was ice cold when she told them they were making a mistake. She mentioned her lawyers and they backed off. The guy was still on the floor moaning, and they tried to just throw him in the back of a police car. My girlfriend had to demand they call an ambulance. He needs medical attention, she told them. The cops acted like it was a massive inconvenience.

The cops also gave us hell about confronting him. You're fucking idiots, they said. confront a burglar. Easy for them to say when they showed up almost 40 minutes later. What were we supposed to do, hide in a corner while he took whatever he wanted? What if he decided to come into the house next? We were supposed to just wait and see. The guy's still in the hospital. No charges against my girlfriend, yet. The lawyer she called has been helpful, walking us through everything step by step. Says it was clear self-defense, especially with the broken window and the knife. Says we shouldn't worry about legal consequences, but cautions us against talking to anyone

about what happened without consulting him first. Every time I close my eyes, I see my girlfriend covered in blood holding that shotgun. I can't stop my heart from racing. I haven't slept more than an hour at a stretch since it happened. I keep checking the locks on the doors and windows, even though we've already changed them all. Every small noise makes me jump. My girlfriend suggested I might be experiencing some kind of trauma response. She looked up therapists in the area for me and made an appointment. I'm staying at her place now.

Haven't left her side. Made sure she's eating, taking the medications they gave her after she was exposed to the intruder's blood. She hasn't talked much about what happened, and I haven't pushed her. She's been spending more time meditating than usual. Sometimes I find her sitting in front of her small altar, eyes closed, completely still for hours. The garage window is boarded up now. We're waiting for a replacement. The car's been cleaned, but I still can't bring myself to drive it.

My girlfriend offered to sell it and help me find another one if that would make me feel better. I might take her up on that. Someone at work suggested I see her different. now because she's violent or dangerous. That's bullshit. If anything, I see her as even more complex than I realized. She hasn't changed. I've gotten some shit from friends and family who think that as the man I should have been the one to handle the situation. That's stuck in my head more than I'd like to admit. Got an emergency therapy appointment next week to talk through some of this. My girlfriend says gender roles are constructs designed to make people feel inadequate, and that any

anyone who thinks I should have protected her instead of the other way around is missing the point entirely. For those wondering about details I left out, I saw her stomp on the guy's crotch hard enough that I heard something rupture. She knew exactly what she was doing. The only thing I still can't wrap my head around is how calm she was afterward. While I was shaking and stumbling over my words with the cops, she was clear and focused. She knew exactly what to say and what not to say. It was like watching someone flip a switch from Buddha to Warrior and back again. I don't think either of us will be the same after this. The locks are changed. New security system gets installed tomorrow. Update, eight months later. Eight months ago, I posted about my girlfriend, who I'll call Diana

to make this easier to write, beating the shit out of a home intruder with an unloaded shotgun. A lot has happened since then, so I figured I'd give an update for those who are interested. First, about the intruder. He was a man in his 60s from a nearby town with a long history of drug problems, jail time, and mental health issues. We found out that about two months after my original post, he died in the hospital. His sister reached out to us, insisting she didn't blame Diana for what happened. She told us the doctors said he probably didn't have much longer anyway due to his overall health. Diana's face during the conversation made it clear she wasn't convinced that was the whole truth, but the sister seemed genuine. The meeting with his sister was

Diana's idea. I was against it initially, worried the family might be looking to gather information for a lawsuit. The lawyer advised against it too. But Diana insisted, I need to face the consequences of my actions, she said. So we met at a neutral location. The sister brought photos of the guy from better times. He'd been a carpenter once, before the drugs took over, had kids who wouldn't speak to him anymore. A life that had gradually unraveled. Diana listened to every word, asked thoughtful questions, and apologized for her role in his death, even though it was self-defense. I watched the sisters' face shift from guarded to understanding over the course of two hours. By the end, they hugged. I couldn't have done what Diana did that day,

the family of someone whose death she caused. The aftermath hit Diana harder than I initially realized. About three months after the incident, she planned a solo trip to a national park during a week she knew I couldn't get time off work. She packed up and left, promising to check in regularly. The check-ins became less frequent, then stopped entirely after a few days. When I finally got through to her on the phone, something wasn't right. She was talking about needing to stay in the the woods about learning something essential that she couldn't leave behind. When I asked how long this learning might take, she said, some people take a lifetime. Then she started talking about being too attached to me, to her house, to her pets, about how materialistic her life had become,

how she needed to strip everything away and start over. Her words made a certain kind of sense, but her tone was off, drifting and disconnected. I remembered her mentioning once that she takes medication for seizures that can cause symptoms similar to psychosis if she misses doses. I asked if she had her medication with her. The long pause told me everything I needed to know. When she finally answered, she said, I don't need them anymore. I'm seeing clearly for the first time in years. I called her doctor, who confirmed that abruptly stopping her medication could cause serious problems. But I had no idea where exactly in this massive national park she was staying. She'd mentioned a specific trail when she first arrived, but that had been days ago.

In desperation, I drove to her Buddhist temple. I'd only been there a couple times before, but I knew it was important to her. I explained the situation to the first person I found there. Within an hour, I was sitting with one of the monks. He listened carefully, asked thoughtful questions, and then did something I never expected. He offered to drive the six hours to the park with me to find her. her. We left immediately. On the drive, the monk explained that Diana had been coming to the temple for years, even before we met. He told me about her dedication to the practice, how she'd struggled

with the non-violence precept due to her past. He didn't elaborate on what her past meant, and I didn't press. It wasn't the time to dig into that particular mystery. We spent two days searching before we found her campsite. She was physically okay, but clearly not. thinking straight. Her tent was set up at the base of a cliff. She'd lost weight, her clothes were filthy, and she'd been writing in a journal that was filled with circles and symbols rather than words. She recognized us but seemed confused about why we were there. The monk spoke with her privately for over an hour. I don't know what was said, but afterward, she agreed to take the emergency medication I'd brought and come home with us. The drive back was quiet. The monk sat in the back

seat, chanting softly. Diana slept most of the way, her head against the window. When we got back to her place, the monk helped me get her inside, made sure she took another dose of her medication, and then left with a promise to check on her the next day. It took about a week for Diana to fully come back to herself. When she did, we had a long talk about everything. She admitted that she'd been struggling with what happened during the break in more than she'd let on. causing someone's death, even indirectly and in self-defense, had hit her heart, especially as someone who followed the first Buddhist precept of not harming any living being. She told me that going off into the woods without her medication had been a form of self-punishment.

She wanted to suffer like she believed she'd made the intruder suffer. The logic wasn't sound, but trauma doesn't follow logical patterns. She also revealed something I hadn't known before. She'd been trained in martial arts as a teenager. Her parents had insisted after something happened that she still wasn't ready to talk about. That explained the precision of her movements during the confrontation, the muscle memory that it kicked in despite years of nonviolent practice. We immediately stepped up our approach to dealing with all this. We were already doing couples counseling every few months. Both of us are children of divorce and wanted to be proactive, but we increased that to weekly sessions.

Diana also started seeing an individual therapist who specializes in trauma and understands Buddhist principles, which was important to her. We also completely overhauled the security at her place. I convinced her to adopt another dog, a big one this time. The puppy's already 75 pounds and still growing. Some kind of shepherd mix with paws the size of my fist. Diana named him Bodie, after the Bodie tree. A lot of people who commented on my original post suggested we should get married. That's not going to happen, at least not legally.

Neither of us has ever been interested in marriage as a legal institution. But we did by each other rings as a symbol of commitment. Having that physical reminder on my finger helps, especially on days when work keeps us apart. We're planning a small commitment ceremony for next fall, nothing legally binding, just a celebration with the people who matter most to us. The nightmares have mostly stopped. I still have them occasionally, images of blood and broken glass, the sound of bones cracking. Diana still has moments where she gets very quiet, staring off into nothing. I still flinch at unexpected noises.

But we're working through it together. The couple's counselor says we're handling things better than most couples would in similar circumstances. One thing that's changed is how open Diana is about her seizure condition. before, she barely mentioned it to anyone. Now she makes sure at least three people always know where her medication is and what to do if she forgets to take it. We've had some conversations about her past that I doubt would have happened without this incident. She's told me bits and pieces about growing up in a household where her father had a temper, where she learned early that being small and female didn't mean you had to be helpless.

How her Buddhist practice had been partly an attempt to counterbalance the anger she'd inherited from him. I'm more like him than I want to be, she said one night. That's what scares me about what happened. I showed Diana my original post and all the comments. She laughed at some parts, nodded seriously at others. When she got to the comments calling her a badass, she rolled her eyes but couldn't hide a small smile. She gave me permission to post this update as long as I kept us anonymous and wasn't an asshole online. For those who asked about legal stuff, we've both.

updated our wills and made each other medical power of attorney. The lawyer Diana called that Knight has become a friend of sorts, checking in periodically to make sure everything's still okay legally. He's helped us navigate the insurance claims for the property damage and medical costs and connected us with resources we wouldn't have known about otherwise. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we're okay. Different, but okay. And for now, that's enough. Additional information and clarifications about Diana's condition. I should clarify about Diana's episode in the woods. It wasn't a mental breakdown. She has temporal lobe epilepsy that she's managed with medication since her teens. When she forgets or intentionally skips her medication, the seizures can

manifest as what looks like psychosis or magical thinking. The neurologist explained that temporal lobe seizure specifically can cause religious experiences, feelings of profound insight, or the sense that the universe is sending personal messages. Diana has described it as feeling like she's receiving transmissions from beyond. When an episode hits, her thinking becomes circular. She sees patterns and connections everywhere and ordinary objects seem imbued with special significance. This is why she became convinced she needed to stay in the forest during the seizure state. She genuinely believed the trees were communicating essential wisdom to her. She's fully acknowledged that going off without her medication was essentially a form of self-harm.

Getting her to agree to individual therapy was a huge step. She's always resisted it before, arguing that her Buddhist practice provided all the mental health support she needed. Both of us struggle with asking for help. About Diana's Buddhist perspective, Diana explained to me why she couldn't allow herself to feel relief or satisfaction about the intruder's death, even though part of me did. In her belief system, everyone needs a chance to learn to be. be better. Killing someone, even in self-defense, strips them of that chance in this lifetime and

forces them to start over. Since memories don't follow you between lives, according to what she believes, wherever that guy is now, he's still suffering the consequences of his choices, which leads to more bad choices, and the cycle continues. The first precept in Buddhism is not to kill any living being. Diana had managed to follow this strictly for over a decade, not even killing insects in her home. Breaking this precept, even in self-defense, shook the foundation of her practice. Her teacher at the temple has been working with her on understanding the nuance of the precepts, that they're training principles, not absolute commandments, and that intention matters. Additional details about the original incident. Some people have suggested I felt emasculated by the

situation. There's probably some truth to that. I don't necessarily think I should have been the one to handle it because I'm the man, but I've heard that from friends and family enough times now that it's gotten under my skin. That's part of what I'm discussing in therapy. My father was particularly blunt about it. You let your girlfriend fight your battles? As if her being capable somehow diminishes me. That mindset is still common where I grew up. The police response was abysmal. They took 37 minutes to arrive. When they finally showed up, they spent more time lecturing us about confronting the intruder than actually investigating. One officer straight up told us we should have hidden in a bedroom and waited.

Diana later mentioned she's had issues with this police department before. It's a tiny town with minimal crime, so the cops seemed annoyed they had to do actual police work on the 4th of July. The truth is, they barely documented anything. Took a few photos, asked some basic questions, and then tried to leave without even checking if the intruder needed medical attention. The report they filed was so sparse that our insurance company had trouble processing our claim. Diana's lawyer had to step in

and demand a more thorough investigation. Even then, it was clear they just wanted the whole thing to go away. About the shotgun, Diana only told me afterward that it wasn't loaded. She keeps it unloaded for safety but accessible enough to grab quickly. She knows how to use it,

her father taught her when she was younger, but says she's never fired it at anything living. I expected her to shoot the guy, not use it as a blunt weapon. Still effective, just not in the way I anticipated. Legal and practical matters, we've already taken care of our wills and are working on getting medical power of attorney established for each other. The legal matters related to the break-in are finally settled, no charges, no civil suits from the intruders family.

The case is officially closed. The district attorney reviewed everything and determined it was clearly self-defense. Diana's lawyer says this is the best possible outcome. Though he warned us that the intruder's family could still file a civil suit within a certain time frame. So far, they haven't. The big dog was my idea. Diana was hesitant at first since she already had one small dog, but they've bonded quickly. The puppy is already fiercely protective of Diana.

He sleeps at the foot of the bed, positioned between us and the door. We've enrolled him in training classes to make sure his protective instincts are properly channeled, but it's reassuring to have him there. Diana says his presence has helped reduce her hypervigilance at night. We've also established connections with neighbors who live about half a mile down the road. We check in with each other if anything seems off, rural communities have their own ways of looking out for each other. One neighbor is a retired sheriff's deputy who's been especially helpful, advising us on security measures and offering to drive by if we're ever concerned about something.

About the intruder, we learned more details from both his sister and the police report. He'd been in and out of treatment programs for decades. Started with alcohol in his teens, moved to harder drugs in his 20s. By the time he broke into Diana's place, he was in his 60s and had spent nearly half his life either incarcerated or institutionalized. The police report showed multiple prior arrests for breaking and entering, usually targeting isolated rural properties. That night, he'd already attempted to break into another house about five miles away but

was scared off by their security system. The hospital found meth, fentanyl, and alcohol in his system. The doctors told his sister that the combination of drugs, his existing heart condition, and the injuries from the confrontation all contributed to his death. two months later. Apparently, he never fully recovered from the punctured lung and other internal injuries. An infection set in eventually, and his system was too compromised to fight it off. His sister shared that he'd had periods of stability throughout his life, times when he'd get clean, find work, reconnect with family. But they never lasted. She described it as watching

someone slowly disappear over decades, coming back briefly only to vanish again. Diana found some peace in learning about his life. He wasn't just the man who broke into our home, she told me afterward. He was someone's brother, someone's father. He mattered to people. I hope you enjoy this story. Publicly criticized my guy pal for his poor performance in the bedroom when he sought validation for his supposed excellence, and my spouse insisted I was mistaken before relenting.

Realized what his friends were really doing to us. One of my 24F male friends, I'll call Jack, 25M, is a bit of a lad and very good looking. Jack basically thinks that lad points are important, he's always going on about how many girls he's been with and how high his body count is. I lived with him in a house share for a while and whenever he bought a girl home, he'd make sure to parade her around by introducing her, spend 15 to 20 minutes in his room having sex, then come out and strut around naked or in his boxers, Yes, he really would. I remember saying a few times, why are you out here, you have a beautiful girl in your room and you're not in there with her. This behavior was pretty common for him and even though he was an almighty douche, we were still friends. Anyway, after about eight months of living together,

after a drunken night, me and Jack ended up in bed together. Honestly it was terrible and having slept with him I realized something. Jack had a big dick, which I knew because of his strutting, but he thought that having a big dick automatically meant he was good at sex. Like it just immediately made him amazing in bed. Our sex was shit, like hands down the worst sex I'd ever had. No foreplay, he left lights and TV on, then unceremoniously shoved himself inside me. The whole thing was basically a race for him to get inside me as quickly as possible. Maybe ten minutes of uncomfortable jackhammering then he was done.

The next morning I was really, sore because one. I wasn't wet at all too. His dick was big. But because I was sore he took that as him doing a bang-up job. Anyway that experience was a few years ago, and even after all this time, Jack is still the same lad he was and still fucks girls like they're lined up on a conveyor belt for him. Back to the present. Recently, my husband and I hosted a barbecue in our garden as gatherings are now aloud. Jack came over as he's in our mutuals group. Of course after a while Jack starts going on about the girls he's fucked, and even showing up another girl at the party by telling people he'd fucked her. It's then he turns to me and asks if I can prove to the lads how fire he is at sex.

Slightly embarrassed but also angry he even mentioned me, I straight up told him he was shit. Basically worst sex I ever had. I then went on to say what happened and that he only has sex just to say that he's had sex. It wasn't fun, pleasurable or enjoyable and for the record I didn't come. Amazingly enough, two other girls also backed up what I was saying. Saying their nights with him were pretty much the same to how I described it. Jack got defensive and angry but we wouldn't drop it. He eventually left absolutely fuming. My husband, who knows I slept with him years before said I was insensitive, especially as it seems Jack relies heavily on the lad slash sex god persona he's created. I don't think so, it was about time Jack was called out for being

shit in bed and maybe use this to learn how to actually have sex. All the boys in the group think I'm an ass for calling Jack out, me and the girls disagree. Edit 1. Holy cow this got way more attention than I thought it would. Thanks for all the comments. And thank you kind strangers for the awards. Should clear a few things up. A lot of people asking why I was or am friends with Jack. I was back then, because honestly at times he was a decent guy, just blanketed by a douchey exterior. After I moved out of the house, we fell out of close contact but are still hovering in mutual friend circles. I'm not directly friends with him now, but he's still a friend of a friend and we are normally civil. Edit 2, I really don't get why people

are misunderstanding the story. For the record, I did not cheat on my husband. Jack and I had a one-night stand together years ago while we were at uni. I wouldn't consider him my friend now, but we still have mutuals from different social circles and we do occasionally still see one another. Info, basically my friend group, close slash mutual slash extended, all new or new of each other at uni. I'm British and now live in the States. I attended uni between the ages of 18 to 21. At 19 I went to the States for a year abroad, and the sister uni is where I met my now husband. Jack is American and was an international student doing exchange. I was first year he was second year. I, a first year, ended up living with Jack because I decided to go to uni last minute,

and as halls were full, ended up responding to a house share ad, a lot of students. students drop out after making a house share commitment so these ads are common. I actually met my husband, also American, through Jack, as Jack was one of my only known contacts when I moved to the States. My British uni and his American uni were linked, I met my husband a year after I slept with Jack. I could not possibly have had any idea that my housemate and one night stand would go on to introduce me to my future husband. My husband knew Jack and I slept together because and funnily enough, Jack brought it upon our first meeting. Living together, Jack and I mainly bonded over weed and raves, and although he was sometimes

somewhat decent, looking back I'm disgusted at our so-called friendship. I could write an essay on how he treated me. Update, honestly reading through the comments of women praising me for standing up and being honest, warms my heart. I greatly appreciate the support I got and the response my post got has encouraged me to be a stronger person. Yes, in that moment I was angry but now I feel that I can continue standing up for myself and not taking any more shit. I ended up telling my husband I posted this, and seeing how popular the post was and the comments for himself, he was immediately upset that people had called

him an asshole for not standing up for me. From that we had a long, and maybe overdue discussion. I laid out how embarrassing the situation was for me, and how, after dealing with so much much shit from Jack, I wasn't going to apologize for tearing him down. Like so many people commented on, I asked my husband why he was okay with Jack's comments, as surely Jack embarrassed him as well. I even pointed to a hilarious string of comments, with my personal favorite, I think it's funny that the husband was disagreeing, like honey, be nice and tell Jack he is bomb-ass dick, go ahead and tell everyone he laid the pipe, go on my husband reason that's just Jack. He doesn't really mean any harm in what he jokes about. I told my husband how I felt and he honestly didn't realize that all

this time the sexual jokes made me so uncomfortable and that I just covered up my uneasiness by just going along with it. I also wanted to distance myself from his friends, close and mutual. As right now I feel like there was never any respect before and certainly won't be any respect for me after. As I'm still getting messages from the boys calling me a bitch slash slut slash whore, you name it. I told my husband that if he wasn't going to stand up for me or stand with me, I would leave him. The persona he is around his friends is completely different to his true personality and is not the man I married. I respect myself more than to let my husband and his friends disregard my feelings in such a blatant way, and worse, allow my husband to witness and just stand

by me getting publicly humiliated. My husband is not confrontational whatsoever and admitted he was also very embarrassed but kept quiet. He has never said anything before because Jack is the ringleader of the group and didn't want to go up against him. And as it turns out, it isn't the first time Jack has made comments about me to my husband, I just haven't been there to witness it. Furious at that, I told my husband that breaking away from the toxic group would be best for the both of us, but if he wants to be Jack's lap dog then I won't get in the way of that. I'm pleased to say my husband chose me. He apologized. for his own complicit behavior and agreed our lives would improve without our so-called friends.

I think me pointing out that his friends disrespecting me were in turn disrespecting him got him to see the reality of it. Truthfully, if they had any shred of respect for him as a friend, they would not be putting him down publicly as well. We were both the butt of the joke. One last point, I didn't apologize to Jack and I never intend to. Honestly, I never intend to speak to him again, but I did message him before I blocked him. To sum up, I messaged to detail point by point why he was bad in bed. That having a big dick doesn't equate to being great in bed, and to get off his high horse. Women are not sexual objects for you to parade around and embarrass,

and maybe if you could please a woman, you wouldn't just have to rely on getting girls drunk from the club or bar. I also let him know that how he treats female friends is appalling, and he needs to reflect not just on his sex game but who he is as a person. So, I've informed Jack of his lack of skills and he is no longer ignorant. If he continues with his behavior, that is not on me. For the record, yes, women should be open and honest in bed, but I don't think it should be a women's responsibility to let a man know. I mean guys, read the room.

Once again, thank you for the brilliant and supportive comments. Thank you for the awards and finally. to all the chads, lads, brothers and jacks out there. You ain't shit. Sincerely, Women Everywhere X Next Story, gave my boyfriend's Catholic mama cookbook called Oh shit I have too many mushrooms as a sweet Mother's Day gift, but her reaction exposed something much darker about why she really hated me. So my BF, M36, and I, F34, have been together a little over a year.

His mother is cordial with me. I've been at family events and her sons, seven in all, curse and whatnot, and I am a theater gal and military brat. So when I saw her being okay with the kids cursing, I thought it was all Gucci. It was not, in fact, Gucci. I wanted her to feel special this past Mother's Day as my BF is terrible with gifts, he told me straight up. He told me earlier this year he was stressing about what to give her. I suggested I help as gift giving is a love language of mine and I am usually very successful. with the budget. I got her a cookbook set, but it's silly. And the reason behind it? Sillier.

She once complained to me at my BF's party for his birthday saying she had too many mushrooms. She didn't know what the heck to do with them all. We laughed as she joked about if people will think she's trying to push mushrooms or mushrooms on them as she's giving them away to friends and family. If you catch my drift. I found it funny and when my BF asked for help, I suggested a cookbook I found on Amazon titled, Oh Shit, I have too many mushrooms. It's part of a series replacing the key ingredient with onions, etc. My BF thought it was hilarious and it tied into that memory of his mom and I bonding over laughter. So I got the whole series, onions, tomatoes, the whole thing, along with flowers, a painting of

her cat I did myself, loose leaf teas and more. We didn't get to be with her on the day itself. I had COVID and he wasn't feeling. well either. We found out later he got the flu, so he didn't go to dinner so his brother picked up the gift and brought it. She called that night, and when he came back to the guest room where I'm sleeping until I feel better, he says she is pissed. That I am immoral and making a mockery of her love of cooking and making it profane and vulgar. I called her immediately to apologize but she didn't answer that are my texts. It's June now and she finally texted me on the first stating simply that

she accepts my apology but that I am on thin ice and to just be good to her son so she can forgive me. I showed him the text and he was very confused by this. Well today, I got a call from his dad. Father's Day is coming up and he told me he didn't want me pulling that classless Sht on him and if I can't tell if it's classless to simply forego the gift giving and provide a gift card to his favorite restaurant. I just purchased the gift card. But am I really so terrible? They are Catholic, but they accepted me as a pansexual agnostic woman dating their son. I've heard Sht.T said in other curse words and honestly way worse stuff, so I'm unsure where and when I crossed a line. My BF's brother joked I should post here so, Ada. Update 1. I wanted

to be optimistic about Father's Day as I follow directions and just got him a $50 gift card to a restaurant chain he really likes and went to the Father's Day dinner and simply didn't say much. I even ignored the jabs my BF's mom kept making at me such as when my BF Sill, who works in the service industry. Mentioned very rude customers and Mill mentioned that when you deal with classless losers it's best to just let them be and be grateful they're not in the family, while looking right at me. In that moment I actually sipped my drink and pretended to contemplate the menu. I was on my best behavior, or at least I felt I was, all night. When it was time for gift opening, we went my BF's business. plan and just combined our gifts in one bag. As his dad went through the gifts he saw the gift

card and snorted and just looked at me, then pulled out a book and wallet which he hailed as amazing thoughtful gifts and thanked my BF for not taking the lazy way out. That was when my BF said actually the gift card is for me, the book is because Op remembered your favorite series and the wallet we both paid for, a white lie as I got the gift card and bought the book, a while ago, and BF got the wallet, but I did help him pay for the inscription. His dad ignored that and moved on to other gifts, but when we were all dispersing the brothers and their partners wanted to keep the party going and my BF wanted to as well. We said our goodbyes in the parking lot as I went to our car not far off and switched from

my heels to my flats as we were going to walk to the bar about a block off. Mill saw me doing this and asked me why I was changing my shoes and I just said I didn't want to damage my nice heels. I got a shake of the head in response and she said so now you can't even afford shoes. Are you okay? To which my BF cut in and said I was fine but we're all walking to a bar to catch up with one another. I don't know how but it then became my fault the group wanted to go to a bar and not stay and drink with the parents. She made it seem like I had talked everyone into ditching early and how disrespectful I was not speaking at all during dinner. She claims I ignored her a lot and that I looked angry to which the kids all spoke up to set the record straight

that I didn't even know about the group going to the bar until Phil had already said he had movie tickets to ballerina and had to go and that I seemed perfectly fine all day and not angry, as she seemed to think I was. At this point, I just went with some of the brothers' partners to the bar while Mill headed out with her sons. By the time they caught up with us, my BF was clearly upset but didn't say anything and the mood lifted as we drank and laughed together. But when we got home and I asked how it went he just said he didn't want to talk about it right now and sat down to play video games. Maybe I'm crazy but he just seemed so defeated. I got a VM from Phil that just said, thank you for the gifts and he rambled a bit something

to the effect that we don't really think that way. Sorry for the misunderstanding I gave BF space the rest of the night and I work early so I left before he woke this morning. but I'm sort of dreading getting home to ask what that was about but I already know it's nothing good. BF has something of a social media business and won't be out until 7.30 today so I am biting my time at a nearby restaurant until he's done. I am not looking forward to this talk. Send positive thoughts. Update 2, I really don't understand. I talked with my BF Ben last night, he was much calmer but still upset. At first I thought he was upset with me, but it was just the situation tailspinning out of control. He started with apologizing for his parents' behavior saying this was not how he was raised

and he's never seen his parents act like this before, but he can't ignore that reality. The reality is they just don't like me. I asked why and he got really quiet and I asked if, as some comments suspected, it was because I am not white. That's when he told me what happened. The significant others of all the brothers all got around me and started to defend me, the brothers got in between and the eldest Derek told us to just go to the bar. So we did. Derek's wife Crystal told him to deal with his parents or they were which pissed Mill off and she apparently screamed at us to come back but we didn't, obviously. Once we left Derek asked what the big deal is and why Mill and Phil are bullying me. She tried to Una reverse it into a

narrative that I was actually the one bullying her and Phil was just offending his wife like a man, exact wording, remember that, so to leave him alone. Ben said her treatment of me was unfair and without any reason and he lists off a couple of glaring occasions, but it wasn't until Derek mentioned that it all started happening since our six-month anniversary. The other brothers are chiming in and Ben said that's when he realized what was going on. His mother made some off-color comment to him over the phone about how surprised she as we lasted so long and he joked he was going to marry me someday. She called him childish and basically scolding him for using marriage so flippant. He thought it was just a religious thing at the time. But then Mill said the words you know those

people are promiscuous. You need to watch yourself. And everyone pretty much exploded who is those people and what does she mean? Mill turned on waterworks and said she was just looking after her baby boy, Ben is the youngest, and Ben shut it down telling her that the only way she could look out for him is to support him and I and be happy he found someone. He told her that she better apologize to me because what happens is up to her now and he needs to defend his partner like a man and then he walks away. Derek later told him he stayed back to tell Mill that if Ben and I decide they don't want to deal with her anymore, he wouldn't blame them and he asked his dad to take her home. That's the lean version because from there it's a lot of accounts of who said what when and what not and I

wasn't there. But what Ben tells me is that it's really up to me how to proceed. He is willing to go LC for a while and see if her behavior changes, but if I really want we can just not go to family events anymore and spend time with my family instead. He just asks that he still be able to call or text then on their birthdays, of which his mother's is this summer. I told him I need to think about it because of the text is Phil sent and he asked which text so I showed it to him. He just stared at it like that sounds like they're admitting to something and I said I have guesses and he just looked angry. He then said that the text wasn't even a real apology so they'll have to do better than that. We just ended up re-watching Great North and drinking together

before going to sleep. I'll have to figure out what to do later but I have a big meeting today so I'm going to try and focus on that for now. Edit, I had to name people to because there's a lot of back and forth. Update 3, I wanted to give a quick update. I came home and Ben's Silmel F. 26 was there. She was picking up items from us that we were donating, she's in education. We had a long talk and landed on the elephant in the room. She basically said the siblings and S.O.s were disgusted by what happened and Ben sent a

screenshot of the text Phil sent in a group chat with everyone in the family except the parents. I realized I gave no context to the text, sorry I'm not used to this. Phil sent this when I didn't call him back, here's it transcribed. Please call me back, op. This isn't what you're making it out to be. For Ben's sake, please talk to me. I am sorry it happened, but that doesn't need to be a reason to fight. Call back now, please.

Everyone agreed that this was not an apology and the behavior indicated bigotry whether it be racism. I am half black and half Hispanic, Ben and his family are Scots-Irish decent, or it was a panphobia as I am pansexual. So without much dragging this update on, the family agreed to come with me to the Juneteenth celebrations today, most of some still have work. It's the intention of some of them to take a lot of photos and post on Facebook as the parents are on there to show support. We are also going to all get together without the parents for July 4th. This isn't to exclude them per se, but to show them we can gather and celebrate together and their unkind energy is unwelcome. Ben is going LC for now and the parents are blocked from my phone.

We're going to give them about a month before giving them any sort of chance. Ben called his dad to say that much. Also I mentioned that I know one of the authors of the cookbook adjacency. Ben just asked if it's okay to reach out to her about this LOL. I said, why not? The siblings all want to buy one or all of the series to have on their shelves if the parents are over or at least to post to Facebook. That part is sort of more fu energy to the P.I.L. So for now, I feel okay.

I'm very excited to have my, Ben's family meet my family today at all the festivities. I hope you enjoy this story. Severed ties with my parents after they prioritized their new companions over me and my niece, but now my father is experiencing cardiac issues and I am unsure about what to do next. Forgive them before it's too late. This post will probably be long and I'll try not to ramble too much and hope that this post is easy to follow. But I'm not sure how to handle the situation at hand so I need advice. For context, my parents are swingers. I found out about them being swingers right after I graduated high school in 2016. I've never never been. I've never been

really had an opinion on the matter until recently. I don't care what they do behind closed doors, but I personally don't want to see it in person. I'm sure that makes me sound like a bad person. But I've always accepted them for who they are. It's honestly just really weird to see my parents make out with other people when they're around a group of people anyways, they are in a relationship with another couple, and have been with them for almost two years. They, being the other couple, just recently moved in with my parents because they lost their house and couldn't find another place in time. My parents kicked my sister, her fiancé, and their baby out of the basement in order to give their friends the space and put my sister, her fiancé and baby upstairs

in one bedroom to share. Which is a small 12 by 12 room. The friends have also stated that they're another set of grandparents for my niece and call themselves Grandma, insert name, and Papa, insert name. My sister and her fiancé are not comfortable with this, but my parents and their friends don't seem to care because they are altogether as one. Now, on to the vacation. We were supposed to go on our first ever family vacation last year, October 2021, but it ended up getting pushed back to April of this year, due to costs, because of my wedding, which everyone was fine with. It then got pushed back again, because my sister was in her third trimester of her pregnancy and couldn't fly. It is now scheduled for February of 2023. My parents told my sister

and I, along with our soes, that they would be bringing their friends along on the vacation. And I'm frustrated about it to be honest. With the way that they've been handling things with my sister and with all of their PDA, it's made me not want to go anymore. It's our first ever family vacation, like I've already mentioned, and I wanted it to be just family. I met a law and I'm at a law and I'm not sure how to handle the situation. And I slash we don't want to upset my parents about how I, and everyone else, my husband, sister and Bill, feel. Any advice? Edit 1, I'm married and do not live at home anymore.

Although my sister, her fiancé, and baby do. They're currently looking for places. We live in a state where cost of living is super high, like a lot of places right now. and with them only having one income it's harder for them to find something. Hopefully that clears things up. Edit 2, I didn't expect this to get as much attention as it did. And I have read each comment and taken advice. So thank you.

I'm fully aware that my parents are adults and can do what they want. I never once said that they couldn't. And I never said I wasn't against their relationship with this other couple. They refer to themselves as swingers, but yes, you could say they are in a polyamorous relationship. The issue I have is how they shove it down everyone's throats. I don't care what they do in private, behind closed doors. But once I see the PDA and the other things they do to each other when other people are around, that's where I get uncomfortable around the situation.

They have a calendar on the fridge that says what nights they will swap beds and sleep with the other person. X, my mom and the other woman moved between my dad and the other guy. There are also times where they make sexual jokes about screwing each other, or randomly flash each other when we are around. Like, at least wait until people aren't there due so those things. That's the part I'm not okay with. Update 1, Hi everyone. A few weeks ago, I made a pot about my parents inviting their friends on a family vacation

and said I'd give an update after I talked to my parents. Well, I did, and it didn't go well. Also sorry the update took so long, I've been struggling with the outcome really badly and I needed time to write it all out. So, on to the update. I brought up all of my feelings to my parents and they weren't very happy.

They asked why I never brought it up, and I told them that it was because I was fine with everything, until I started seeing it, and that's when it made me uncomfortable. Now they think I don't accept them for who they are and they don't really see an issue with inviting their friends or doing other things with their friends in front of everyone else around. My mom basically said that what they do is none of my business or anyone else's, and they can do what they want. Which is true, they're adults and can do what they want. But some of the things they do, should be in private settings and not for others to see.

They also consider their girlfriend and boyfriend to be family, again which is fine, I know many people do, and since it's a family vacation, so they're still inviting them, regardless of how everyone feels about it. I just want to be with my parents for once without their friends being there, and having them be all over each other. They also see no issue with their friends calling themselves grandparents to my niece. I got upset and told them my husband and I would not be attending the vacation and they could take someone else. and until they understand where I'm coming from, I would not be going around. So for the time being, my parents are being cut off. I'm very sad about the outcome, and it makes me sad that they would choose their friends over their own child. But to each their own, I guess.

Thank you all for the comments. I read every single one of them, even if I didn't comment back, I still read them. There were some very nice supporting ones that really helped, and also some nice, not very nice ones that also helped. So thank you all. Comment one, I'm sorry about that. Did your siblings ever back you up? Oop, yes, my sister agrees with me. I'm not sure if she's planning on going or not, so if she doesn't, we might go on our own little vacation update too. I cut my parents out of my life and now my dad might be dying. I'd quote to do. Hi everyone. I, 27F, just came here for advice maybe.

I don't really know. I just needed a place to talk about this. There's a ton of backstory, so I'll try to explain it as much as I can, and hopefully it doesn't get too confusing. I also have another post regarding the subject from a couple of years ago, so maybe this is also kind of an update post. My parents are in an open-slash-polyamorous marriage. They started out as swingers when I was seven, and a few years ago they met another couple and decided to just be with them, which is fine. I am happy that they are happy, however, when the other couple, we will call them D&T,

came into my parents' life, my parents changed, they became very toxic slash controlling and just all around not fun to be around. They don't take anyone's feelings into consideration and force their other partners into our lives, which over the last couple years, I have decided I don't want to be around D&T. On multiple occasions, they were all inappropriate in front of us, my sister slash her family and my husband and I, and it was just really uncomfortable in a lot of ways. They, my parents, kicked my sister and her family out of their basement apartment and moved them to a small bedroom upstairs in their house, so they could move their other partners into their house.

My niece was also only two months at this time. From there, things have just gotten worse. DNT refer to themselves as my second parents and as grandparents to my son and my niece, which I have asked them not to do since I barely know them. My parents have chosen their other partners over my sister slash her family and myself and my family many times. My sister had to move emergently last year and my sister asked my mom if she could watch my niece since it was raining slash snowing outside. And my mom said no because they were going to spend the night playing Mario.

cart and didn't want distractions. When I told them I was pregnant, the very first thing my dad said to me was, can we tell D&T? And I said no. After my son was born, I went to my parents' house for a short 30-minute visit and as soon as I got there, my dad texted D to tell her I was there. So she and T came upstairs. My mom was holding my baby, eight weeks at the time, and when D&T came up, she handed my son to D without asking me, I was so upset. I want to clarify I would have been upset if anyone just handed my baby to someone without asking me, I wasn't upset just because of the person. You should never hold a baby without permission from the parent. I had a very intimate religious ceremony, similar to a christening, where we only wanted family and our close friends. I invited my parents, and they asked if they could bring DNT and I said no because it was for family and close friends. So they decided not to come.

They decided not to come to a family event because I didn't want their other partners there, which they consider family and I do not, which I have clearly tried telling them over years of them being with D&T. Because this event was for my son, I decided they weren't going to pull any more stunts. They weren't going to choose them over me and my family anymore. So, I cut them out. I told them that I'm happy that they're happy and because I know they love them. I wasn't going to make them choose between us.

I told them I wasn't done being hurt and I needed time away from them. I haven't seen or spoken to my parents since April of 2024. I have tried telling my parents about my boundaries many times but they don't listen and they just want us all to be one big happy family, which my sister and I and our partners don't want. We both just want to be around our parents. Anyways, I got a text from my mom yesterday. saying my dad was just diagnosed with heart failure.

And I have so many emotions. I'm angry, and I am also sad. My heart hurts. I don't know what to do. Part of me is once a better relationship with my parents, as long as my boundaries are followed, but another part of me has never been happier slash felt more at peace these last nine months. I just don't want to have my dad pass and regret not letting him have a relationship with myself or my son,

I just hate getting hurt by my parents all the time. I am in therapy and have been working through everything for a while, but it's still so hard. Any advice is appreciated and I will try to answer any questions anyone has. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I'm sorry if it's confusing. Edit, I want to say, my parents have been with other couples that I have loved. It wasn't until D&T that I had an issue, and it's because of the actions that they have done that have pushed me away. I am happy that my parents are happy, but I shouldn't have to put myself in an uncomfortable position to make other people happy. So I ultimately decided to keep distance in order to make my

mental health better. Comment 1, this is something you need to decide. They are only reaching out because of his condition, not because they want to be better parents. They already chose D&T over your son. Your son doesn't need to see them. You can go alone and see what is really going on. They want to guilt you into forgiving them. They haven't tried to apologize. Oop, that's how I feel. I feel like they're pressuring me to see them when I'm not ready. My mom texted me a couple months back saying how long are you going to stay away from us? Are we still toxic? And I feel like they're blaming me for not seeing them when I voiced my boundaries countless times and they chose to ignore them. I know it's not on me, but they're

making me feel like shit because I want to protect myself and my son from being hurt. Oop gives examples of how they were inappropriate over the years. Examples of being inappropriate include them flashing each other in front of us, my dad pulling down his pants and mooning the front door when I walked in because he thought it was his girlfriend and other inappropriate actions that shouldn't be done in front of other people, especially your children and their spouses. He would put his hand on my back and I would ask not to be touched. I get very uncomfortable because of some essay from my childhood, so I don't like being touched by many people.

But yet, he would do it every time I saw them. I have tried many times to voice my boundaries and they have not been respected. If these inappropriate behaviors stopped, I wouldn't mind seeing them along with my parents, but I shouldn't have to if I'm uncomfortable. The boundaries I have voiced, I don't want them calling themselves my second parents or grandparents to my child. I don't want to see all of their inappropriate PDA, I'm fine with a kiss, but the inappropriate stuff can wait until people aren't visiting. I don't consider them family, just as my parents don't consider any of my friend's family. Comment two, you'll never have the relationship you want with your parents as it's clear they are selfish and will always include their partners.

Don't feel guilty, they have never put you first. Oh, O.P. Thank you. I needed to hear don't feel guilty. This whole situation has taken a toll on me for years. I just learned I need to do what's best for me and my little family. Next story, Black wife and I had a son who looked too dark to be mine, so I secretly got a paternity test that proved he was mine, but when I told her about it she called me racist and we got divorced.

I'm a 29-year-old white guy. My wife is 30 and black. We have two kids, a three-year-old girl and a five-year-old boy. My wife got pregnant with our son early in our relationship. We had only been together a year. We got married because she got pregnant. Fortunately for us, we are actually happy. When my son was born, I accepted him as mine.

However, I couldn't help noticing how little he looked like me. He is noticeably darker than my wife. He doesn't look half white. My family and friends have asked if I'm sure he's mine. I had doubts, but I initially decided to trust my wife. I loved my son regardless. When our son was two, my wife had our daughter. I had no doubt she's mine.

She looks just like me, she even has my blue eyes. I never realized how powerful it is to know a child is yours. I bonded with her easier because there wasn't the question of paternity dangling over our heads. My family bonded with her faster too. Her resemblance to me convinced me that my son is not mine. I tried to always treat them equally as I see them both as my children. But I realized I was beginning to resent my son. It felt unfair that I had to care for someone else's child.

I also began to resent my wife because I felt she had betrayed me. I finally got a paternity test in secret. I was relieved to learn that my son is in fact mine. Genetics are weird. Anyways, that was four months ago and my relationship with my wife and son improved dramatically. I feel much closer to him now that I know he's mine. My wife and I have been so happy that we were talking about a third child. I confess to my wife I got a paternity test.

I hated keeping this secret and I thought she would understand given how much she doesn't look like me. She flipped out. She asked me if I ever doubted our daughter, and when I said no, she called me racist. It's not true. I didn't prefer my daughter because of her whiter features, I just knew she was mine. She also said that I made our son feel unloved for no reason for all those years. I said that's bull. Even when I didn't believe my son was mine, I treated him as though he were.

My wife says she wants to move out and take our children after the quarantine. It's been about a week and a half and I'm still on the sofa. I hope she would have calmed down by now but things haven't changed. She's just so furious with me for not trusting her and for in her eyes. Denying my son because he's dark. She barely talks to me unless it's about the kids. I don't want to lose my family. Is it so awful that I had doubts?

I still took care of him. I don't understand why something like this is wrecking my marriage. I think she is overreacting. So, Ida. Update 1, after being ripped to shreds on my first post I didn't plan to ever log into this account again. Some recent events have persuaded me to update you all on what's been going on. I'll just get right to it. My wife and I are separated currently. I moved out so she and the kids could stay in our home. I'm staying with my parents for now. I don't get to see my kids as often as I would like to. When I have to be. a more stable living situation will have joint custody of them. It's been very hard on me and the kids. I talk to them on the phone every night, and they both keep asking when I'm coming home. It breaks my heart that I can't answer that question. My daughter is taking it the worst. I feel awful that her world have been turned upside down by her own parents. I miss my family.

I miss seeing my kids every day. I miss my wife. Our relationship has been put in limbo for now. She says she needs space to process, and doesn't know if she will be able to forgive me. I've apologized in every way that I know how to. At this point I just have to give her the space she wants and hope she calms down. It would be horrible for us to throw away if separating has been this hard in the kids, divorce is going to shatter them. She seems open to seeking couples counseling.

It gives me some hope we can work past this. As for Reddit, I admit I didn't want to hold myself accountable before. I couldn't see how my actions were subconsciously harmful to my son. It was never my intention to be racist, but I did treat my son differently due to his skin color when you strip it down to its roots. I realized how bad I fucked up when I felt ashamed thinking my wife has probably told her family why we separated. They used to think really highly of me.

Now they all probably think I'm a racist. I have no one to blame for that but myself. With all the craziness going on in the world I know that I need to be more aware of my actions. My kids deserve to have their family to be safe haven from racism. It scares me thinking about the type of world I will send them out into where they could be racially profiled in most places. I can't imagine if it were my son on the news instead of one of those other poor guys. I'll never let anything get in the way of my relationship with him again. Thanks all. Update 2. It's been over a year and a half since I used this account.

I stopped replying to PMS a long time ago because, to put it bluntly, I felt like shit when I was reminded of what caused me to make this account in the first place even though most of the PMS I got weren't bad. I was shocked but flattered to see dozens of messages still coming in as recently as a few months ago. I want to give an update on my life for those people. I'm single. My ex-wife and I had our divorce finalized early in 2022. We had gotten back together for almost a year after I told her about the paternity test. I made promises to be a better husband and I believe that I kept those promises even

though it didn't work. Unfortunately things were not the same despite both of our best efforts, including months of counseling, couples counseling and private counseling for her. The fact of the matter is she could never forgive. me enough to trust me so it was never going to work. Towards the end, she didn't even want to be intimate with me in any way so much that I slept most nights on the couch or in my kids' rooms. We became roommates. I would have kept trying to fix things forever, but she was willing to face the fact that it was over way before I could. I still have a lot of love for her, and I think I will

forever. I'm not ashamed to say I haven't gotten over how devastating it was even though it's my fault. I developed depression badly which I know some people would say I deserve. I even had to quit my old job due to it. I still miss her and even more I miss what we had together. I dread the day that I will hear that she is in a relationship with someone else because I know it will come someday. I have an apartment to myself now. It took a while for me to get on my feet. My kids, now 8M, almost 6F, spend every other weekend with me and I get.

get them 50 to 50 when there are breaks from school. My son is very athletic and is very good at soccer. As he has gotten older, I have seen more of myself in him than I did in his youth. He hasn't heard about the paternity test and I hope he never will. He's a great kid. I work hard to make up for the time lost when I was anxious to get too close to him. My daughter is still my mini-me. She loves me almost as much as I love her. She's athletic too. loves gymnastics and soccer. I think a lot about how if I hadn't needed a paternity test they might have another sibling. Not a good thing to dwell on. My life went in a direction I didn't expect. It's not perfect, but it's getting better every day. I have a lot to be grateful for and I

remind myself of that when it is hard. My kids are all that matters. Thanks for caring. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse and I had always intended to start a family together, and she expressed her desire for children as well. However, following our wedding and the two-year waiting period we had set, she hesitated. Making excuses to delay having children. We met when she was a college freshman and I was a sophomore, and we started dating about two years after meeting. We really hit it off, she is the most wonderful person I've ever known. We get a long great. We get a long, together and have always had a good relationship for the most part, obviously, like every couple, we have our fights, but we've always been good except for the past few weeks.

Children have always been very important to me. I love kids, I'm a huge family person, and I've always wanted to have several, at least three. She knew that since before we even dated, and I always understood that she wanted to have kids, too. When we started dating, it obviously came up, and she laughed at my enthusiasm. for a big family but said it was cute and she wants to have kids, too, in the future. When I began to prepare proposing to her, we obviously had to confirm some stuff, and once again she told me she wants to have kids. I let her know that I want to have kids early, since I really

don't want to be an old dad. I want to be able to play with them, have the energy to spend time with them, and look like I'm their dad and not their grandpa. She understood, too. We got engaged, then married, and all this time. When people asked us when the kids were coming, she answered perfectly normally and said maybe sometime soon after the wedding. I'd like to stop just to say that I didn't marry her to have kids, nor do I consider her a baby factory. We dated for a long time and I really genuinely love her.

I'm just making sure that you can tell that it was established many times before and during our marriage that we were going to have kids, and that she knew how important this was to me and that she herself told me she considered it important to her, too. After getting married, we promised to wait at least two years before having children because we wanted to make sure we had a happy marriage and enough money to properly care for a child. So, we agreed to wait two years to settle ourselves together, travel to exotic places, work hard, and set everything up. Plus, we were still young. I was 26 when I married her.

I thought 28 to 29 was a perfectly normal age to start having children. So we waited, at a mutual understanding. Then, when the two years passed, I asked her about having kids. She said she was currently going through a really rigorous time at her job because she was close to getting a promotion, but the competition was tight and she really wanted to focus on it without a pregnancy getting in the way. I understood. She eventually got the job, and it was great. Then I asked again, and she said not yet.

We moved into a bigger apartment, and she said she wanted to settle in first. I guess, by now, I should have started guessing something was wrong. More time passed, but she insisted I wear a condom and didn't go off birth control. Then, a few months ago, I turned 30. Now I was starting to get worried. I expected to have had at least one. one child by now. I don't know why I never talked to her about her. We had always been candid about having children together, and I couldn't possibly think of why she would change her mind. All her

excuses seemed perfectly reasonable, but now I was getting the inkling that they were just excuses. So we talked about it. I sat her down and told her that I was 30 and I felt I really wanted to have kids before a certain age had passed. We would both be perfect parents, were happy to We have a spacious home, both she and I have very high-paying jobs and could be considered wealthy, and her parents live 20 minutes away so they can always help out. That's when she told me she wasn't sure she wanted kids anymore. She said she felt a pregnancy and then giving birth and caring for a baby would take too much away from the career she was building.

I was crushed. I told her she doesn't have to quit her job for a child, but she did bring up a point about how much maternity leave would take away from her overall work performance. If she really wanted to continue working, I told her we can both totally afford a nanny for our child to care for him slash her while we're working. Plus, her parents live so close. But she told me she doesn't want to leave our child with a stranger or her parents. It was an awful night. What hurts the most for me is the fact that she'd felt this way for a while now, and she knew how important children are for me, and she should have told me earlier so we could

figure things out with more time. After a lot of thinking, I finally told her something I thought might change her mind. I'd quit my job. I'd stay home and care for the child. She wouldn't have to take a day off work after giving birth. I'd be here 24 to 7 for it and any other babies we might have. I knew this was what I wanted. A child matters much more. to me than my job. Our family income is pretty evenly split between the two of us, but even with her income alone we can still live comfortably. But she just said I wasn't understanding her point. Now, I'm completely lost. Here's someone I thought I knew, and it turns out I really don't know anything about her. I understand her goals and ambitions and respect her, but it's still

something that is important to me. It's still something that I refuse to age and live my life without experiencing. I'm feeling older now, I feel like I should have had a child by now and I want one soon. I don't want to be too old when it finally starts happening. I asked her if she ever wanted a child, and she just couldn't answer. Since then, we've barely been speaking. I'm going to try to talk to her again and sort this out, because we need to decide what's going to happen. But I don't know what to say. I want to get someone else's perspective, but so far we haven't told anyone and she doesn't want us to. I just don't know what to do right now.

Update, I sat her down and we had a long talk. Basically, she said she was changing her mind about a lot of things and she wasn't sure she wanted to have kids anymore. I let her know that that was getting in the way of the plans we had made together, and she told me she knew that and apologized. So I asked her why she didn't tell me, and she admitted that she was afraid I might be unhappy. If she had told me, I would have understood. We would have talked things through and worked something out. What hurts me most isn't that she changed her mind on something so big, it's that she changed her mind on something so big and didn't tell me about it at all,

knowing how important this was to me. After about a month of a lot of talking, we came to a conclusion, there was no getting around the issue. Our relationship was, essentially, over. I still think she's attractive, amazing, intelligent, funny, and one of the most interesting people in the world, which is why I told her that, for the sake of any future relationships, it's best we avoid contact as much as possible. Because we didn't break up over a fight or infidelity but for a rational reason, it would be too easy for us to fall in love again or something and continue the cycle.

I can't blame her for anything more than that. I can blame myself, and she's handled it all very well. We're truly having a velvet divorce, if you could call it that. Splitting everything we've saved together as evenly as we can, selling the apartment and each of us moving somewhere else. All of mine will remain mine, and hers will remain hers. She doesn't want it to be any harder than I do. Both of us have our lawyers, of course, but it's being handled with transparency and fairness as much as we can. And yet it still hurts inside. When we finally agreed to file, I sat down and cried, thinking that I had just pushed away

the most wonderful person in my life, the person closest to me and most sincere to me over my life goal. And then the next day I realized she had ceased to be that person to me not on the day we divorced, but on the day she changed her mind on something that affected both of us and didn't even try to tell me. Our relationship was already dying. it lacked the trust and communication a step like that required. I think that's what's actually hurting me the most. It won't be easy at all. But at least I've taken the steps necessary,

and I think that in a few years' time I'll find someone else, someone to connect with who shares my life goals. And maybe five, six, or ten years from now I'll have children with that person. And in 20 years, those children and the mother of my children will mean so much more to me than anything in the world, and I'll be glad I became a father, because I know that's what I truly want out of life, even more than a great career or a nice apartment or a wealthy wife. I will miss her more than anyone, and maybe in those 20 years I'll still think of her occasionally. She's been great about it, but probably because she's realized the relationship was doomed just as I did. I hope she gets all she wants in life, and I don't mean that sarcastically or cynically.

She deserves it. It really hurts and I hate to have to write it, but I figured you all deserve to know, even if it's late. Also, writing this all down is kind of cathartic, in a way. Next story, wife bought my got-daughter a peach dress to wear to a wedding, but when I got home she was already dressed in a black Gothic dress and we were running late, so I let her wear it and my wife says I'm the one in wrong. I, M-48, needed some input. My wife, Linda, F-40, was the maid of honor for my cousin Susan, F-38. We've been together for 10 years, married for seven, and we have two children together M5, F-4, along with my stepdaughter, Tiffany F-16. Tiffany is very goth-slash-emo.

She pretty much only ever wears black. Even her pajamas will at least have evil hello kitty on them. Linda is very detail and image-oriented and can be a bit of a micromanager. She gets very hung up on weddings. She was a bit of a bride assila at hours, and I joke that Susan had made her made of honor because she needed a bridal attack dog. She wasn't amused and I stopped making that joke. In the time leading up to the wedding, my wife was fighting with Tiffany over what Tiffany would wear to the wedding. Linda wanted her to dress normal, and Tiffany refused.

Linda ultimately gave her an ultimatum to pick out an acceptable dress or she would just pick one for her. Tiffany still refused to budge, and this ended up with Linda going out on her own and buying a peach dress that was completely outside of Tiffany's style and telling her that this was what she was wearing to the wedding. The day of the wedding, Linda's mate of honor duties had her with the wedding party super early in the morning and gone all day. I was going to meet her there along with my stepdaughter. I dropped off our younger kids with my eldest daughter. I did a couple of quick errands, and I got back to our house just in time to leave if everything went smoothly. When I got there, Tiffany was not wearing the peach dress, but instead she was wearing a fancy black dress that was much more like what she normally wears. Lace sleeves, kind of a corset thing going on, longer in the back than in the front, basically what I would have expected her.

to wear to a wedding. I asked her if this is what her mom said she could wear, and she said not to worry about it and that it was too late to change anyway. I tried telling her that she should change into the other dress, but she said that there wasn't enough time, and changing dresses would take forever, and furthermore that her makeup wouldn't match the other dress anyway. Tiffany does spend a lot of time on makeup, and while I'm not an expert I guess even I could tell that her hair, makeup, and accessories wouldn't match the other dress, even if there was time to change. We were already on the verge of running late so really there was nothing I could do about it. We just went with Tiffany and the dress she was wearing. We arrived at the

ceremony, and Linda was kind of preoccupied with helping Susan and all that, but she low-key grilled me about what Tiffany was wearing. And I just shrugged and explained to her the situation as it was, she was already wearing this dress, already had her hair and makeup done, makeup wouldn't match the other dress and there was no time to change at all, etc. and nothing to be done about it at this point. She didn't have a whole lot of time to hang around and talk with me with everything going on. Tiffany got some looks, but she always does. She does stand out a bit, as you might expect.

People seemed mostly fine with her, though. Tiffany rode with me to the reception. She had been studiously dodging her mother as much as possible. Shortly after we were there, I noticed Tiffany's best friend Bethany F-16 hanging around in a slightly more understated goth dress. Apparently she drove herself and Tiffany helped her crash the party. It was a big venue with a lot of guests and she was pretty easy to ignore. My wife and my cousin both worked for my dad's company, so I was at a table with him and some of their other co-workers. He noticed that Tiffany had snuck Bethany in and alerted me, when he elbowed me,

pointed, and said, they're multiplying. Throughout the reception, Tiffany and Bethany were taking photos of each other, mostly Bethany taking them of Tiffany. Her mom got on her again, but with the wedding planner somehow Mia, she couldn't devote too much attention to them. She told me to handle them and that they were drawing too much attention. They agreed to tone it down, and they were much more subtle slash subdued after that. Bethany had a collapsible camera stand stick thing she had been setting up around different places and she either stopped using it or stayed out of the way more. Both of them seemed to just stay out from underfoot too much. Linda gave me a few looks during the wedding itself and the reception, but she was very busy and she seems to have

put on a face to keep from adding to drama during the day. But she laid into me on the way home. She was upset that I let Tiffany come to the wedding looking like a vampire and drawing attention to herself. She said I knew she was supposed to wear the other dress and not be in so much makeup. To hear her tell about it, Tiffany was a total spectacle, and her appearance was totally inappropriate. Linda said that it's never appropriate for a guest to wear black to a wedding, that Tiffany's dress was too eye-catching, that she was embarrassed and mortified, and that I let Tiffany do whatever she wants. She said that I shouldn't have let Tiffany and her friend turn the wedding into a cosplay event and the reception into their private photo shoot.

In my defense, yes, I knew they had been fighting about Tiffany's dress and makeup, but I had been doing errands that Linda gave me before I got home, and when I got home, Tiffany was already dressed. We didn't have a whole lot of time, and I know from experience that she can take quite a while changing clothes or doing makeup. As I mentioned, she said that her makeup wouldn't match the other dress anyway. She didn't draw that much attention at the wedding. Sure, she got some looks. She always does, but it was nothing major. Her and her friend hardly turned the reception into a private photo shoot. Mostly it was just Bethany taking some photos. Tiffany did kind of awkwardly hang around a photographer until he took some pictures of her,

but it wasn't enough to derail anything. By that point it seemed like he was just looking for interesting things to shoot, and I guess she fit the bill. The girls cooled it with their own photo setups after I talked to them. Linda complained about Tiffany having a bouquet she was posing with, but she didn't even have that when we left the house. Bethany brought a bouquet of, fake, black roses with her when Tiffany let her in, I guess. I'm pretty sure I've seen that same bouquet before. Susan didn't even care that much if she noticed at all. I tried to tell Linda lots of times that lots of things don't need to be a problem unless you decide to make them a problem. I've also told her that you have to pick your battles with teenage girls, and that the

more you try to fight with them, the more you end up getting drama and pushback. I'm a bit more experienced in this area. I have two adult daughters, 28 and 22, who are both total daddy's girls even to this day. Tiffany is Linda's oldest kid and was her only one until our kids together. I've always had a great relationship with Tiffany even since she was a little kid, and part of that is probably because I don't pick fights with her like her mom does. Linda says that I let her do whatever she wants, but that's not true. I'm very strict with her about her grades and her chores. She used to leave huge messes in the bathroom of makeup and hair stuff. Linda fought with her about it, while I just sort of calmly explained that everyone needs to clean up after themselves and if she's going to make a mess,

in there she has to be the one to clean it, and it was fine. She'll babysit for me, when I ask, but again her mom always turns it into some kind of power struggle that turns into an argument. She'll try to micromanage and add additional tasks, while I'll just ask her if she can watch her little sister slash brother for a bit, and if she says okay then that's good enough. Sometimes, if I need to bribe her a little, I bribe her a little. As far as her being embarrassed in front of her coworkers, they all thought Tiffany was cute. And even after Bethany crashed, it was more just something to occasionally talk about than anything anyone was scandalized

over we made a few jokes about the goth invasion and that was it. I was around them and my dad weigh more than she was that night anyway, and no one minded. She even spent some time talking about makeup with my mother. So, long story long, my wife is still getting after my stepdaughter about what she wore to the wedding, being moody about it and causing unnecessary tension, while I've just told her that this doesn't matter and it doesn't have to be a thing. She's had some of her friends, notably not the bride herself, my cousin, nor any of her co-workers who were actually at the wedding, chime in about how I'm an asshole for this, but I just feel like she's making something out of nothing. Am I the asshole for

letting my stepdaughter wear a black dress to a wedding? Update, May 14th, 2025. Just a brief update in case anyone was wondering. I had a talk with Linda, and we covered a lot of the same points that people brought up here in the threat. I had already mentioned to her that getting into fights over things that don't really matter only causes tension and resentment between her and Tiffany, but I also emphasized the fact that Tiffany is almost an adult and that pushing her away might eventually make her stay away. Linda seemed to take it in when I emphasize that she has to let Tiffany be who she wants and that she can't really force the matter as if she were a kid. We got together with both of our parents over Mother's Day, and my own mom told Linda

that she thought Tiffany's outfit had been very pretty, that she admired the effort Tiffany puts into her look, and that Tiffany was a charming young lady as usual. She and I noted that it would have been much more unpleasant to have a miserable, sulky teenager being uncomfortable and resentful throughout the night. Linda's own mom was a little bit more judgmental, but she mostly held her tongue beyond the few looks and offhand remarks. Of course, everyone already knew that her views on fashion were a lot more conventional, and that she thinks I'm too lax and permissive. We don't actually see my wife's parents that often, just a few times a year.

If not for the wedding, this might have been the first time seeing them since at least around Thanksgiving. But I did note, to Linda, that given the choice, Tiffany clearly spends more time with my mom than with her own bi-aids. biological grandmother. I did have Tiffany go ahead and apologize to Susan, just in case, and I chatted with her briefly as well. Susan hadn't initially noticed slash known that Bethany wasn't invited. It was a big wedding at a big venue, and she wasn't too fussed over it. Apparently she was still within the margins of the planning. I don't mind coddling Tiffany a little bit, and I just try to be a good dad. I am the only father that she has. My wife's late husband passed away a couple of years before we met. I could tell that she needed a dad, and I was

glad to treat her the same as I had my older girls. I guess it's not always easy being a step-parent, but Tiffany and I have always gotten along, and I love her. Linda can be a bit type A, and she was definitely super stressed about the wedding day. She ended up with a lot on her plate, practically needing to step into the wedding planner's shoes. The planner's son was in the hospital. He's totally fine now, probably an allergic reaction, it was a wonder that the day went as smoothly as it did. She was hugely responsible for that. She ultimately admitted that I probably did the right thing, but I told her that every girl wants to look pretty and feel confident, and you should almost always let them not do a thing that's how it's going to make them look and feel.

It was also worth pointing out that Tiffany would have looked wild in the pictures in a peach dress with her goth makeup, more so if she was clearly in a rotten mood. The two of them seemed to have patched things up quite a bit, and we all had a really nice brunch together. So all's well that ends well, I guess. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse boasted about ending his wedded companion who was being unfaithful, while labeling his other companion feeble. However, I discovered he was still covertly conversing with the adulterer and lying about it.

I, 25F, have been married to my husband, 26M, for three years. He has two male friends from a job he used to work who are both also married. Let's call them Holden and Cameron. He has been friends with them for around two years and since then, we have all moved to different states. These are friends that he has had over for beers here and there, but mainly they like to call, text, and play video games on some weekends. I personally do not like Cameron.

This is because he isn't respectful of his wife. They all used to have a female co-worker that Cameron would constantly hit on and try to ask out. He would tell my husband how much he wanted to sleep with her, despite him having a wife and daughter at home. I told my husband he should let the wife know, but neither of us had her contact information as we have never met her in person. When he moved to a different state, his wife stayed behind since it was only going to be a training for a few months and that's when things got worse with him. Cameron had informed both my husband and Holden that he had told his wife he wanted his divorce and did not want to have any custody of his child. This turned out not to be true as his wife had no idea he was planning on leaving her and instead, he had been ghosting his wife, not responding to any calls or texts for weeks. I was not shy about my dislike for Cameron and did tell my husband that he was no longer welcome in my home and that I was no longer comfortable with them hanging out together, which my husband was just fine with since they really didn't hang out much to begin with.

They would still occasionally play games online together and text on a group chat that a lot of their old. co-workers still had. Holden had also told us that Cameron had gotten on dating apps and began sleeping around with multiple women. He even went as far as to send Holden a video of him having a threesome. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. Holden felt disgusted that he was sent this video without consent, and his wife was livid, understandably so. After this, Holden decided to drop Cameron and go no contact, no confrontation, or anything. Ghosting him like Cameron was doing to his wife. Yesterday, I had asked my husband if he was still talking to Cameron and he informed me that he was not.

He went on and on about how Cameron hadn't even reached out to him because he made himself clear about how he was not okay with what Cameron was doing to his marriage and all the hell he was putting his wife through. He said he had more of a spine than Holden did since Holden wouldn't even inform Cameron that they were no longer friends. Today, my husband gets a call from Cameron. The call was nothing important in particular, but what really threw me was how Cameron was not acting like anything was different between my husband and him. He mentioned that Holden hasn't spoken to him in two weeks and then the call pretty much ended there. I then asked my husband if him and Cameron still talked, and he admitted that they still do here and there. I felt hurt. To be clear, I did not care if my husband was talking to Cameron, I was.

wasn't the biggest fan of the idea, but he is an adult and as long as he wasn't hanging out with him, that was good by me. However, the fact that he put on a big show about how he was more of a man than Holden because he stood on business when Holden wasn't willing to, and that Cameron felt too embarrassed to even reach out to my husband because he knows my husband's standards, only to actually be talking to him and not ever telling Cameron that he has issues with what he is doing in his marriage. It felt like such a sham. I got upset. I got upset. and told him he was all bark and no bite and that at least Holden actually stood on business because he sat least followed through with what he said he was going to do and that for this,

I respected Holden more than him. This really upset my husband. He said he didn't like that I insinuated that he wasn't a man of honor and that he felt emasculated with that statement. He told me that if I respect Holden so much, that I should go and fuck Holden then. Which is not something my husband has ever said to me. It really hurt that it went there. I think I may have been too harsh with what I said, but I don't appreciate being lied to, or being talked to like that. He is still hurt by the statement that I made, and now I don't know what to do. I don't like feeling like my husband is condoning this behavior from his friend, but what really bothers me is him trying to make himself look good and putting down his other friend, when he wasn't telling the truth about the situation.

So what do I do from here? and Ada update thank you everyone for all the comments and feedback on my last post it was quite overwhelming so I did not respond to most

but I did read every comment to answer some questions and things I saw in the comments Holden and Cameron were friends with each other for a few years before my husband met either of them Holden was the closest with Cameron and my husband was closer to Holden

than he was to Cameron. I have only met Cameron twice both briefly, when he came over to our house for some beers and video games. My husband has never hung out with him outside of work besides that, and when they would go to work out at the gym that their work had. Neither my husband or I had Cameron's wife's information. I did try to find her on multiple social media platforms, but her name is very common and since I have never seen her before,

it was hard to locate her. My husband does not have any social media besides YouTube. I do want to preface that I never told my husband that I did not want him texting Cameron. Was I a fan of the idea? No. But he is an adult and free to make his own choices and so I never even had asked him to. I did, however, say that Cameron was no longer welcome in my home. My husband saw no issue with this and agreed, this is something that is not really a factor

for us anymore anyways since we have moved away so they never see each other in person and have them for months. My issue was the fact that he had lied to me about not talking to Cameron and went to bash his other friend when there wasn't any truth behind that. Not the fact that he was messaging Cameron. Now for the update. My husband and I did sit down and talk with each other earlier today and while I feel like we both have bit more we need to discuss and work on, I feel like we are making a good start with things. I apologize for comparing him to Holden and for not being mature in how I discussed my anger. I also apologized for saying I respected his friend more than him in the moment because I really do have a lot of respect for my husband and always have thought highly of him. I am not someone who likes to discuss things when my emotions are high, and that got the better of me.

It is something I am going to be a lot more conscious of from here on out and really try to work on. He apologized for making things seem one way when that wasn't really the truth. He did say that he had told Cameron that he did not like hearing about all of his escapades trying to. to live a single life while still married, and that Cameron had stopped messaging him about that specifically. But he did admit that he never went further than that. Such as telling him that he wasn't wanting to have a friendship, game with him, etc., and that they were still occasionally messaging about other things. He also apologized for the go-fuckolden comment and said that he did feel emasculated because he has been struggling because he thinks his testosterone levels are lower than he wants them to be.

Both his dad and brother have low testosterone. He said he has been wrestling with the idea that he is low T for months now, and how he feels like he is less of a man because of it. For some context there, he fits all the symptoms for it. Our sex life has been a lot less than it used to be, he is tired all the time, he has been pretty irritable, etc. I told him that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, how it doesn't make him less of a man,

and to go speak to a doctor to try and talk through it and figure out a route to take and I will support him. I did say that while I want to be there for him and that I do think he is a man, that doesn't excuse the comment that he made, how it's not okay to speak to his wife that way, and if he wants to feel like a man, he does also need to act like a man and be honest in all aspects of his life, both with me, and his friendships. He did give me his phone and let me look through their past conversations because I mentioned I felt weird about the three-sum, video. Their messages were pretty dry, mainly talking about music and old co-workers. But, while I did not find that video anywhere, I did find a group chat with the three of them from about a month ago where Cameron had sent Holden and my husband some partially nude pictures of a trans woman he was

seeing. This upset me. I found it really disturbing and disrespectful that Cameron had sent this to them, and that neither Holden or my husband said anything. They just carried on with the conversation like nothing had happened. When I confronted my husband on this, he just said he ignored the photo and they moved on. This is something I am still kind of struggling with. Do men send their friends, especially married friends nudes or videos of women they are seeing?

I don't like that I felt brushed off when I addressed that to him, but I am so tired of feeling crazy. I don't like to look through his phone, or feel like I am obsessing over his friendships. That has never been who I am and I feel like I am turning into someone who is and who overthinks and is honestly crazy. I may update if anything else comes of this. I hope that we can work through things more and find a resolution one way or another. Thank you guys for reading this again and especially thank you to everyone who was kind in the comments.

I appreciate it more than you know. Next story, parents always favored my eldest brother and gave him everything, so my other brother brother finally cut them off completely and now my mom cries every day but still won't accept it's her fault. I come from a Middle Eastern country. My parents have three sons and one daughter. While I am the youngest, 32M. My eldest brother, John 50M, is by far the favorite child by my mother. My father doesn't express opinions often. When John was born, he had many health problems. So my mom practically lived with him in the hospital for the first year. Every time we talk about something, the topic changes to John I have problems at work. Oh, John just solved his problems with his boss.

Take an advice from him when talking to him, nothing of the sort happened. My mom expeditated a meeting he had with his boss. It might be in my head, but I even have the feeling that she sometimes addresses my GF. Joanna as Johna. John can treat out parents however he wants. He wants. He might be in my head, but I even have the feeling that she sometimes addresses my G. F. Joanna as John can treat out parents however he wants, yet they magically forget it after two days. When I was in collage, my mom called me crying, with enough urgency to ask me to leave class to take her call. Apparently, John was very mean to her. The day after, my mom gaslit me saying it was nothing. Needless to say there is never an apology from John. except for my sister, Mary, 40F, who holds a government position, and my parents who are too old.

All the siblings move to different countries. John to Europe, James to Canada, and me to Australia. My parents visit John in Europe about three times a year, for two to three weeks a time at his country. They spend more time with John's family than with my sisters. They visited me or the second Elvis James once. James moved to Canada about six years ago. My mother had a lot of problems with James and Mary. Ended up in couples therapy with both.

Both times my mom claimed that their respective spouse is taking her child away from her and whispering mean things to them about her. Etcetera, et cetera. While Mary had more emotional problems, mom doesn't love her as much as John. Mom doesn't care about her children. mom keeps on alienating her spouse. James's problems were very monetary. He claimed that the parents gave him less money than to James, as well as babysit his kids less.

As the last one to leave the nest, I had some more knowledge about my parents' finances. And I can say that except for one incident, which I will address later, my parents gave about $250,000 to John, about $300K to James, about 100KK,000. to marry, and about 50K for me. I went back to grad school and did not get married yet, so I did not need much. In about 2010, my parents received a plot of land near their house,

and told all the children that if they wish to have it, they can, if they agreed to the following rules. A, the building of the plot will be led and mainly financed by the child. B, the child will live in said plot and help take care of the parents, who are growing old and an increasing need of aid. Mary who held a government position on the other side of the country, and me who only finished high school were out of the picture. And James and John could not decide. James insisted that due to the high value of the land it needs to be sold and split between the siblings. While my parents said that it's a no-go. After two years of debating, John picked up the glove and built the house, later living in it for about four years. Before leaving the country due to work

relocation, not by choice. But this is another story, James felt, and still feel robbed. The main incident happened half a year ago. My parents, who are still in need of aid, decided to buy a house in Europe, next to John. Claiming this as an investment for the future, when we will pass on, this house will be passed to you up, while I live and plan on settling in Australia, which is, in fact, very far from Europe. When James heard about it, he blocked my parents. And a month ago, after he calmed down, he told me that he decided to cut ties with my parents. That he felt second best at most, that he couldn't shake the feeling that this animosity

towards his wife continued for so long, and he is afraid to have the same treatment to his kids. He is also in therapy. My mother, on the other hand, is crying nonstop. About reaching out to him, about trying to go back in touch, about seeing her grandkids. She asks about him every day, and I don't know how to break it to her. The worst thing, she does not accept blame or guilt. She constantly gaslight things about everything being his fault, etc. And now I'm stuck in the middle of this charade.

and she acts as if trying to change her in her old age is some sort of a crime. How can I tell her look, his life are better now without you? It is your fault and he cut you off knowingly. If you ever will be given a second chance you will need to earn it? How can I convey the situation to my mom? Do you have any advice regarding solving this? Thank you in advance. Update, June 25, 2025.

Thank you for your input. in comments, though I did not reply I did read them all. Cutting ties with my parents is not an option for me, nor is it something I intend on doing. I wanted to give a little update, I have decided not to take any drastic measures, and simply dismiss any time my parents try to probe with the next time maybe, I don't know, we'll see, etc. Recently, as you might be surprised, the Middle East kept trying to off each other. And I felt like this was the first time James tried to probe about the family, they are all safe, thankfully. My mom keeps writing letters to James and sending it via email.

In these she tries to guilt-trip him into sending her information, such as pictures of his kids, etc. With wishes for him to soften his stone heart and every time I hear about this, I am piss time and time again. She keeps them all about herself, and there is so little, if any, care for him, how he is doing, and what happened between after to the last time she sent me one I was pissed out loud and told her off. Saying that if she keeps sending it to him, he will block her email as well, something his friend slipped out, he does read them, at least until six months ago. And she asked me well, what letter would actually help? Can you show me?

I immediately thought, this might be a golden opportunity to let her see herself from the outside, and might be the only one in sight. So I agreed with one condition, that she would never. send it. If it she decides that she likes it, she would have to write something herself in her own words, and her own interpretation. She was pissed, how dare I claim she might do such a thing? Such blatant plagiarism, etc., etc. She might have said more, but I could care less L-O-L, and it's not as if she would do such thing, would she? So after working with a friend who is married to a Skyrim character, we wrote the letter, James I first wanted to a

apologize, for everything. The image of our conversations hurting you for all these years is so painful, in addition to the idea that you feel the need to protect yourself from us, your own parents. I cannot undo what has been done up to now, but I can apologize, try to change, and maybe, slowly, we might be able to heal what is broken, yet I cannot do it without your help. I know our actions made you feel unequal, that John is the priority, and I am so, so sorry for that. We have no such will or feeling, and I apologize that our action caused you to feel like that. We have a very difficult time being disconnected from you, your kids, your wife. In addition, I would like to apologize to your wife, her addition to our lives included

you drifting apart from us, and a lot of this frustration ended up against her, with no fault of her own. And for this we are sorry. As for only thanks to her we received our wonderful grandkids for which we can only be thankful. I daily think about A, B, and C, grandkids' names, and wholeheartedly wish to have some sort of relationship with them. Next year, Ops' wedding will take place, where we are going to meet. I would like to meet you there in a positive manner so as to allow Ops the peace in his special day. He does not deserve that our situation will darken one of his most important days of his life,

especially with the current situation in our country. This day is not our. This day is not our. it is his, and we need to make sure he is the center of this occasion. We need to make this day work, not only for him, but for us as well. Yes. This paragraph is egocentric AF by me, but I wanted to make sure that A. She is well aware about this. B, I will not tolerate any shenanigans in my wedding FFS. And if I am the one writing then might as well, I don't wish to go back to our previous

relationship. I wish to recreate and reconstruct a new one, in which I can assure you your importance to me, in a way that will be acceptable for both sides, in a constructive enriching manner. And would love your help rebuilding it. Love Mom after writing it I kept it to myself until my mother will raise this topic again, which took about a month. As we were talking about it I reminded her of my one rule. To which she responded, yeah, yeah. We already talked. We already talked. talked about it. And I sent it to her. After reading it she told me I'm a wonderful son and she is happy to have me. She said that she has read it and understands, and now understands my position about this better. Of course I didn't tell her I'm not the only one who wrote it,

but I let her think whatever she wants. She said she agrees with everything but the paragraph about his wife, which she will continue to hate because of. I checked out in this part, I know about all the incidents, none are only the fault of the wife. And other than that part she agrees, and thinks about erasing IT and sending IT as is to him. I was pissed and lost it at her. Literally one condition and she pisses all over it. I told her that if she does anything of sort, she could kiss my help goodbye from now on. And I was much less nice.

She backtracked and said she was kidding, We both know she was not, and I told her to watch out. She started going to a shrink. Once again, she tried before and stopped after three times the most. My guess is that she couldn't stand the mirror and preferred closing her eyes for it. But this time she will be persistent, it lasted four times. She wrote another letter. About a month after, more of the same previous guilt trips.

absolutely nothing from my letter, for better or for worse. When I told her to look at the differences and see for herself yours was ingratiating while mine was not. And with this my hope was lost. And with this I'm going back to my previous bubblehead mode and stonewalling every time they talk about him. The memorial for my hope with this subject will be held at the next Milwaukee Brewers game. Bring beers.

Regarding myself, we sent the papers and are now officially husband and wife. I am the luckiest man alive. The ceremony will only take place next year and I have already instructed my friends to block any chance of mischief from my mom. Thank you for all your help. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse was discussing his former union at a Pau's event and mentioned that if his late partner entered the room at that moment, he would resume their relationship. Off. My 34F, husband, 37M, was married once before me. She was his high school sweetheart. They started dating their junior year, survived long distance during college, and got married when they were both 23 very shortly after graduating college. She passed away unexpectedly at age 26 from an aneurysm and it obviously devastated him, especially because they were extremely young.

They never had children. He contemplated remarrying because he was so heartbroken, but we ended up meeting about four years after that. We got married when I was 31 and he was 34 and have two children. Last night, we were at a friend potluck gathering. Everything was going well until one of our friends brought up a new topic that had to do with relationships. She is newly divorced, so it was about her divorce. Others were chiming in with past relationships from high school, college, etc. I had said I never thought I would get married because my luck with men has always been terrible

until I met my husband and I said I felt very lucky to have met him. After a little while longer, my husband brings up his deceased wife. Everyone knows he was married before me and that she passed. He was talking about her and then drops a bomb and goes if she walked through that front door right now, I'd pick up where we left off if I am being honest. It felt like someone put my heart into a blender and punched me in the gut as hard as they could. Everyone in the room could sense the awkwardness that followed. To avoid making a scene, I just laughed it off even though I think it was still obvious that it hurt me.

I just felt that if you still felt that way, then why are we married? I've never asked him to get over his wife. I have never had a deceased spouse or even a deceased partner. so I am unsure how that feels. But I would never say that in front of my new spouse. After the gathering, we left and I did not speak to him the entire car ride home or barely the entire night. I did tell him that what he said hurt my feelings deeply and that we could talk in the morning once I've calmed down because I didn't want to say something mean to him.

I ended up sleeping on the couch because he would not leave me alone. It's now the next morning and I barely slept. He is still sleeping. I'm not really sure what to say or what he will say update. This may be a long one I also tried to reply to as many comments as I could, but they were flooding in and I got a bit overwhelmed. May still try to read and reply to them. Many brought me to joyous and grateful tears. Less than three also, alcohol was not involved in the sense that he wasn't drunk.

My husband is six feet three inches and almost 250 pounds. He had eaten quite a bit and had one beer. He was practically sober anyway. We talked. I asked him to let me go first and to not interrupt. He doesn't usually interrupt anyway. This isn't verbatim. Just a rough sketch of how things went.

I also included points some of you made. Without mentioning I posted about this, of course. Me, I just want to say that I do not hate you for what you said. I understand where you were coming from. She died and it was something neither of you saw coming. I could never ask you to get over her or to forget her because I know how much you loved her. She was your first love. I do understand that if she hadn't passed, we likely would not be together and you too likely would be.

I have always understood this. But to say what you said hurt my feelings and embarrassed me. And even though her coming back from the dead is impossible, if it were, you would leave me and the children? It was probably one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me. It is clear your feelings about her are still raw and it still hurts and I want you to get counseling and I want couples counseling very, very soon. He then apologized profusely, teared up and said how he did not mean to hurt me and embarrass me in front of our friends. He basically said that he thought about it before he went to sleep.

and came to the realization that he should have kept it to himself. I mean, I can't be angry for what he thinks. He loved her and she died. His feelings are also valid here. Also said that he would never leave me and the children and that what he said was just a poorly thought out and poorly worded statement. That he was not thinking clearly and when he said it, he immediately felt that maybe it came out wrong.

I asked him how he would feel if I said that to him. to him. He says, yeah. It's bad. I know. I shouldn't have said it. I wouldn't be happy. I know you aren't happy. I should have apologized in front of everyone as soon as I said it or not have said it at all. I then asked him to think of the children and said it's like you saying. Hey, children's names, if my dead wife walked through the door, I'd pack my bags and never speak to you guys again and then it really got uncomfy. After some silence, I had no idea what to say after that. He asked me if I wanted to divorce. So I asked him why he would think I would want to divorce just to see what he would say. He says he doesn't know. I didn't answer his question and said we needed to

look into counseling. That he needed to get counseling for himself and that we would go to couples counseling. And if the answer is no, I am not interested in moving forward. This isn't 100% about the comment anymore. I need to know if he is willing to make the necessary changes and put in the work to fix what he messed up. Because if you were to dismiss my feelings or not want counseling, it means he doesn't think this was that serious and that he may not take me seriously. I also said this to him. Some of the comments also told me to take the kids elsewhere. I agreed with this because it would be difficult to get through this while also parenting.

I've got a very young daughter and a son that is a toddler. They are currently with my parents for the weekend and I'll be getting them Sunday night, so this gives us time to really work. He suggested he sleep on the couch instead of me. I have nowhere else to go. I haven't told my parents because I really would like to keep this between me and him as much as possible. Family and friends jump to judge too fast and sometimes offer extreme and harmful advice and it's also embarrassing. Luckily, we both have very good insurance that will help with counseling. I told him that it seems like whatever counseling he got after her death was not enough

and that he was not consistent with it like he should have been. With trauma like that, I personally would have been in counseling for years before I even considered remarrying. He agreed. He was only in it for about a year and then stopped once he moved away from his hometown. Never got back into it. He also agreed to the individual. and couples counseling. Kept apologizing. Kept telling me he loved me all day. It was also

so difficult to be around him because he kept looking at me. I couldn't think. It was like he would try to say something and then he would just stare and not say anything. With the kids gone, there's nothing to really do except talk, so we talked again right before dinner time. He asked me if I wanted him to cook or buy something. I still was not. hungry to be honest. So I just told him he could pick something up for himself and that I wasn't hungry and that prompted the second discussion. Realized he must feel very bad because he noticed I hadn't really eaten much all day. Kept asking me to eat. I wasn't sulking too bad or anything. Just doing my usual tasks, but not speaking or eating as much and because we're home together

all day, he noticed this. Asked me one more time to please eat dinner with him, so I I agreed. During dinner, he told me that he looked for counselors himself and wanted me to see if I thought they were okay enough and that he would keep looking. Last stretch. After all of that, I told him that we can't really predict anything until we've met with therapists. I don't want him to keep saying sorry. I want work and change. And then maybe we can move forward, but this is the first step. I don't want to just leave him. I am also not saying devour. I am also not saying devourable. is off of the table. I think he is still hurting from her death and his judgment is very, very clouded. If he didn't love me, I doubt he would have apologized so many times and looked

for counselors on his own. A man that doesn't love me probably would have made me look or rejected going altogether. Many people were suggesting this, I do not think he doesn't love me. Thought of this myself. Cried about it. Thought of my children. cried more. I'm not staying for the kids, I'm staying because I want to at least try to fix. If it cannot be fixed, then at least I tried. We were also very close. Some people were asking how close we were prior to marriage, I guess, as a way to gauge the difference between their relationship and our relationship. Maybe to see if he settled. He was always very romantic, caring, and sweet to me. We've never yelled at each other.

When we first started dating, he would plan dates, surprise me, brag about me to his friends. So that's why I am very confused on why he would blurt that. Unless it was just very poor brain and mouth coordination. I also told him that I may get a counselor for myself. I don't think I need one. Someone suggested this. But I think he needs it more than I do. And because insurance companies are getting shittier by the year,

three counseling bills may be pushing it. E.I.K. If I do get one, it's because I don't want to potentially resent him or doubt myself. Some people were making attempts to make me doubt myself. Some people in the comments were very nasty to me. I appreciate Reddit hiding comments with many downvotes as they may be mean, but I couldn't help but click. Some of you are very mean and very nasty individuals and I hope you find happiness one day. There could be another update in the future. Not opposed to making one. Thank you all for your kind words and support. I've also responded to everyone that texted me, which was everyone there at the potluck that has my number. Three people, there were nine people there not including us.

They've all basically said the same thing. They can't believe he said that, they feel bad for me, asking if everything is okay. What he said was not okay, etc. He showed me some of the texts with him and his friends and some made me cry with how kind they were being towards me, basically telling him he wasn't necessarily wrong for thinking that, but wrong for saying it. I told him I loved him as well, and I have never not loved him even for a second. And that I wasn't angry with him and didn't want him to, I guess, suffer, for what he said. But I was just hurt and needed him to know that it did hurt me and him to respond how he saw fit and we'd go from there. That is all for now.

I tried to answer some of the more frequently asked ones that I saw. Again, sorry for this being so lengthy. Have a nice weekend everyone and thank you again. Next story, roommate told me to date her friend then got jealous and made my life living hell. So I moved out but now she wants me to pay all our apartment debt. I, 29NB, was renting an apartment with my friend Jess, 33F, from October 2.4. 23 to October 24. We had been very excited to move and together and really enjoyed living together for the first few months. Over those first few months, I was introduced to a friend of

Jess, Ash, 28NB, Jess told us that she really liked our friendship and she encouraged us to date, stating that we would be a cute couple. In Mar, 2024 I double-checked with Jess that it was okay and I began going on dates with Ash. However, almost immediately it became a problem for Jess. No matter how much Ash and I prioritized spending time with Jess one-on-one, giving her undivided attention, spending time as a group, and always making sure we plan the time Ash would be over at the apartment to suit Jess, it created a huge rift in our friendship. Jess is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so Ash and I went to great lengths to listen to Jess therapist and follow their advice to make it as easy for Jess as possible.

It didn't help. Jess became extremely depressed and unpredictable and I had to interfere and monitor her often. Any time Ash came over, even though it was agreed upon, Jess would have meltdowns and scream at us and slammed the door or leave in a dramatic way. She was even hallucinating and would yell at us in the middle of the night accusing us of being too loud, red spicy time, even if we were literally asleep or just watching TV. This left me feeling unsafe slash uncomfortable in my apartment. In June, I started spending more and more time at my parents or at Ash's house,

especially on days I didn't work. I still tried to keep in touch with Jess and go see her often, and I never tried to shame her or blame her for any of this. I understand that her trauma and mental health are not her fault. I am also disabled, which Jess knew before we moved and together. I had a job that was very good for me and extremely consistent. However, in August I had an incident related to my disability which left me in the hospital for three weeks and afterwards my doctors told me I am no longer able to work at all. So I ended my employment and applied for state and federal disability income.

I used my savings to pay rent in July and August but I had no income until the disability cleared after that. I told Jess in July that I would not be coming back to the apartment except to move out my things. that I would do my best to pay my rent in September and October, but if it ended up that I couldn't that I would accept responsibility for the debt when our lease ended. I also know enough about our local laws to know she couldn't be evicted before our lease ended even if I didn't pay because of the amount of time. I kept in touch and gave her updates about my health and the status of my disability income throughout this time to keep her in the loop and make sure she had all the information I had.

I told her in August I would not renew the lease and in September I gave my health. intent to vacate to the apartment two weeks before it was due. Jess decided to not vacate and instead tried to find a new roommate for a new lease in the same unit. However, Jess was unable to find a roommate and ended up having to vacate anyway, without having given proper notice. I was unable to pay for both those months. My state benefits didn't start until November and I'm still waiting for federal benefits, so when our lease ended I went to sign a contract with the apartment relieving Jess from the debt. But I found out the debt was much higher than what I owed. I should have owed till Dollar 1,2400 in the office said the debt was closer $3,600, the apartment

printed a ledger of our payment history showing that Jess never paid her rent in October. Additionally, the apartment informed me that because we both didn't give notice on time that they will be doubling our debt. They said their lawyers have all the paperwork now and I can discuss it with the lawyers once they contact me, until then there's nothing else I can do. They even think the lawyers can undo the doubled fee because of my disability status, but I have to wait until the lawyers reach out to me to know for sure. So, I asked Jess to meet me because I'm not willing to pay her unpaid rent, nor am I willing to pay the entirety of the doubled debt because she is the one who didn't

turn and notice. I told her I would work to get the doubled fee canceled, but we needed to agree on the debt owed by each of us. and I told her if they still double it that I would work with her so she doesn't get stuck with a huge bill, but that I shouldn't be responsible for the whole thing either. When we met, Jess told me that I abandoned her and I wasn't taking responsibility for anything and that I should pay the entire bill because it's my fault. I told her I felt responsible for my debt only and that I gave her ample communication throughout these situations. Now she's telling me that I screwed her over and that I'm a bad person. I admit, I lost my temper and said things I regret including that I didn't abandon her,

and that she drove me out of my home and my disability made it easier to stay away. I do not think I should have said that, I know that I lost control of myself in this moment. My parents and my partner are telling me that I should only pay my share of the debt and try to cancel the doubled fee, but if I can't cancel it that I shouldn't try to share that debt with her. They believe she needs to see that her actions have consequences, but I feel that sticking her a multi-thousand-dollar bill will financially ruin her. If I only pay for the rent I owed, she'd be left paying till the $5,000 if they don't drop the doubling of the debt, please help.

Ida, and what should I do? Update 1, I will add some information that I had to repeat multiple times in the comments of the last one before we dive in. 1. I provided formal notice to vacate via email to the apartment directly two weeks before notice was due. I thought I had made this clear in the original post, but I obviously hadn't considering how many people asked. Two, I'm not posting this story as a space to hate on or belittle people with BPD. I shared just diagnosis for context, but if you're seeking a place to rag on

folks, don't do it here. Three, I still do not have federal benefits. Only state, and my state benefits are less than $500 per month. 4. I have my own legal team both for my SSSDS application and separately for my stuff with the apartment. Now on to the update. Last I posted, I was waiting for communication from the apartment's legal team to understand what could be done. Last week, I received communication from their property management company directly, instead. They provided me a ledger of the debt and added fees. I worked with my legal team and we were able to fight them into removing the double charges. They have, however, added several cleaning fees, carpet replacement fees, trash removal

fees, etc. My parents and I had gone to the apartment the last day of our lease and cleaned it very thoroughly so I requested photographs of the apartment upon their entry. It would appear, based on those photographs, that Jess had entered the unit after we left and damaged the unit pretty severely. This would have happened before I even tried to talk to her about how to split the debts. I went over everything with my lawyers and have informed the apartment the total share I'm willing to pay, including my unpaid rent, some admin fees, and a few other minor things. It's roughly $2,600. They said they understand, but they have no way of enforcing who pays what. I said I understand that completely and will work within the bounds of the system. They helped me set up a

that works with my minimal income while I'm only receiving state disability benefits. I have emailed Jess the ledger I received, just in case she hasn't also been notified, and broke down item by item what share I would pay. And what balance that left her at the end of it all, about $2,500. Unfortunately, if she refuses to pay, my lawyers have advised that I will have to pursue it in civil court. But I have more than enough documented history. That's all for now. I'll update again if anything interesting happens.

Update 2, it has been several months since the lease officially ended, and I have made arrangements with the lawyers and the apartment complex. They did waive the extra fees they were originally trying to charge us with but added some other fees because Jess trashed the place. I sent an email to Jess outlining what I agreed to pay. Jess' initial response to that email was, thanks for the trust issues. which I now find hilarious in retrospect. I have Jess blocked on all platforms except for email and informed her that we would only be in contact when strictly necessary.

I have been in contact with the apartment and am on a payment plan. I still have not been approved for federal benefits and get very little in state cash benefits, but I use a small portion every month to make payments toward my debt. I get an emailed receipt every single month with proof of my payments. I can also log into a portal and see how much debt is still owed and how much has been paid off. It would seem, so far, that Jess is also making payments as the total debt is decreasing by more than the amount I am paying, so I assume she is on a payment plan also. I wasn't really planning on updating again since things seemed to be going as smoothly as I could possibly expect after everything else that went down. However, last month, I got an email from Jess that showed just how disconnected she is from reality.

She emailed me stating that she had noticed that I hadn't been in touch with her or our case manager about making any payments. She called me unreachable and mentioned that there was this massive debt hanging over her head since I abandoned her. I informed her that she could see the progress of payments being made by both of us on the portal and reminded her that she is welcome to reach me by email about anything related to this financial. situation. I don't know, I thought y'all might find this funny and sad with me. Unless things get dramatic, I doubt I will ever be updating this story again. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse's former classmate reached out to him and expressed that she still harbors emotions for him. He reciprocated the feelings and they began exchanging texts regularly. She finally asked him to run away with her and leave me. Hello, everyone.

I, 27F, have been with my husband, 27M, for almost eight years, married for three. Let's call him Liam, fake name. Prior to our relationship, Liam was with Danielle, 28F, also fake name. Liam and Danielle met in high school and were extremely close friends before they decided to start dating. They dated from the end of their senior year of high school to the end of their freshman year of college. They were a lot of firsts for each other, including sex for the first time. According to Liam, Danielle was the first girl he was ever truly in love with. He did anything for her, including driving over two and a half hours to and from his college to her college every weekend their freshman year.

They went to schools in different states, so they could spend time together. Things started to change for them during the later parts of their freshman year of college after Danielle got heavily involved with a religious. religious group on her campus. According to Liam, she got very manipulative and emotionally abusive. She had these new ideas in her head of who she was wanting him to be and wanting to save him. He tried going to church with her and doing the things she wanted him to do, but it eventually led to him becoming confused, upset, and ultimately resentful which led to them ending things in a crash-and-type way. Fast forward several months after they break up, Liam meets me. We started casually dating at first since he still had trauma and large amounts of trust issues that

remained from his relationship with Danielle. After about five-ish months, he felt like he was ready for something serious again. Three and a half years later, we're engaged. Another year goes by, we're married. Almost three years later, we're here today. Throughout all of this time, Liam has not heard from Danielle once. Also during this time, Danielle has met someone new, gotten married as well, and currently has a young child. Flash to a week and a half ago. Liam and I just moved to a new house closer to our hometowns and posted about the move on social media. After seeing the post, Danielle decides to message Liam congratulating us on the new place and hoping that all is well.

Nothing too crazy but not something that he was expecting. They begin briefly conversing about house things, moving, renovations, etc. Liam tells me she reached out to him and I find this a bit odd but nothing to worry about. A couple of days later, Liam sits me down to ask me something and for me to not freak out. I, of course, begin freaking out. Apparently, Danielle had continued to message him after their brief conversation and eventually sent him a long post letting him know that there are something she wants to get out in the open, wants to deeply apologize for the way she treated him towards the end of the relationship, and wants to do all of the, this in person with him. He asks me my opinion on this and I'm definitely concerned as to why after all this time this is something she feels the need to do and also why the need for this to be in

person. After discussing this with a friend who had a similar thing happened to her and afterwards the ex left them alone, I ultimately agreed hoping that the same scenario would play out with us. Boy, was I wrong. Liam and Danielle decide to meet at a coffee shop in a town about halfway between where we live and where she and her husband live. For Liam, it was about an hour drive. This meeting took place this past Saturday. At first, I asked to come with and just sit in the car while they talk since I anticipated it being a short but awkward conversation where she could express what she

needed to and then he could leave and we could go do something afterwards. Liam convinced me I would end up being bored and he would feel bad leaving me alone for that time so it was better for me to just stay back. He didn't think it would last very long, maybe an hour or so, and he would be home before I knew it. I ended up agreeing and he left early in the morning so he could meet her around 10. After letting me know once he got there and that he would keep me posted on when he would be heading back, I waited. After about an hour, I texted asking how it was going and he said it was fine and that he was just listening to what she had to say. Another hour goes by and I start feeling a bit concerned as I would have thought they would be done

by now. Another hour goes by and I'm full on irritated. I text him saying it's been three hours and ask when I should expect him back. He lets me know they're catching up and he would let me know. Another hour goes by. Four hours in total and I'm mad. What was supposed to be a short apology conversation was turning into a full day thing. Finally, he lets me know he's heading home after four and a half hours of them talking. I needed end. When he finally got home, I asked what happened. He lets me know that Danielle did apologize for the way she treated him during their relationship. After that, they began catching each other up on their lives since it had been nearly

eight years since they last talked. It was a good, casual conversation and then she started breaking down crying. According to Liam, Danielle is at her wits end and her marriage is considering divorcing her husband. She told Liam that her husband hasn't been the man she thought he would be and that they have lost all passion in their marriage. That it got harder after she had their baby and doesn't know what to do since she doesn't really like the idea of starting over and navigating as a single mom. Basically, she was confiding in him about all of the issues in her life and he sat and listened and talked with her. Liam said she really just needed someone to listen that wasn't involved in their circle. He felt bad for her and just wants to make sure she is okay.

He then asked me how I would feel if they continued to be casual acquaintances. I told him I could maybe get to a point where I would be comfortable with that, but would need it to think about it. He made it seem like that was the end of what they discussed and we continued the rest of our day as normal. At the end of the day, we get in bed and are watching TV when I notice that he's getting quiet and distant. I ask what is wrong and he starts to tear up saying that there was more he needed to tell me about him and Danielle's conversation. I immediately, get worried. In tears, he tells me that Danielle expressed to him that she still has feelings for him. Even though it's been years and they've both moved on, she still has parts of her heart set for him. That her husband isn't half the man he is.

In some ways, I wasn't shocked to hear that especially since she wanted to meet with him after all this time. However, what he said next did shock me. He told me that after talking with her, he realized that he also still has some unresolved feelings for her. All this time, he thought she hated him after they broke up when in reality she was just struggling with her religious trauma in college and took things out on him when she shouldn't. Everything was took out of context. I didn't know what to think. He was so hurt and torn apart after they broke up and it took me months, to build his trust and hope back up in the beginning to allow him to see himself capable of love again. Now all these years later he says he still has a part of his heart for her.

In many ways, I understand because first love will always hold a spot. But I'm also a bit hurt that my husband, the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with, still feels for his ex. After learning that she still has feelings for him, I told him I wasn't liking the idea of them still talking. That she could eventually start interpreting his kindness to her wrongly and see some sort of potential between them. That really she should be discussing her marital issues with her own husband and not him. He insists that she would never come between us and that Danielle herself even expressed that she respected the idea of marriage wholeheartedly and the last thing she would want to do is harm ours. He wants to be there for her because it seems like she doesn't really have

anyone else to talk to about all of this. Last night, he was showing me TikToks on his phone when a text notification from Danielle popped up. I questioned him about it and he shrugged it off as nothing. Today, I asked if she was still texting him and he said she was but he was trying to slowly cut her off. I expressed again how I don't think it's best for him to be talking to her and how she really should be going to a friend or family member to talk about her issues. I noticed he was still texting her throughout the evening tonight too. Should I be concerned about all of this?

I don't want to come across as a wife who controls who her husband can or cannot talk to. I do trust my husband, but I don't really know Danielle. He insists she is true to her word and would never try anything but how can I know for sure? My best friends think I should tell him to block her. I don't think he will because he feels bad for her. But I don't want her to continuing to reach out to him. him for validation and that eventually leading to her feelings towards him growing more. What do I do? Please help. Update, June 11, 2025. I want to thank everyone who saw my

original post and left a comment or sent me a message. Although they may have been difficult for me to read through, it was something I ultimately needed to do. Anyways, here is the update. Liam has been at work all day so I wasn't able to talk to him much until he got. home. I sat him down again and let him know that I needed to talk about him about his communication with Danielle. I told him that I wasn't happy and that I needed to know if he was still talking to Danielle today. He told me he was, but that he was to finally end things with her. For those of you, if not all of you, that suggested Danielle reached out to him because she wanted him for herself, you were correct. Liam called her today and she straight up asked him how happy he was with me and that

if for even a second there were issues and wanted out that they could run away together. She wants to divorce her husband and be with him. I believe this admittance finally broke Liam's rose-colored glasses on the situation and opened him up to seeing what she was really doing, trying to manipulate her way back to him and home wreck our marriage. He finally told her enough is enough and that he cannot talk to her anymore. That he did feel sorry for everything going on with her and her own marriage, but for the sake of his own marriage and his love for me that he needs to stop being in touch with her. He realized that those unresolved feelings that he started to have for her after meeting with her

this past Saturday were more like feelings of nostalgia for the times they spent together and the times they were happy. The way she spoke about him and his character made him feel good and gave him that ego boost, but after hearing her true intentions, he was able to remember the way she was before and why they broke up in the first place. I told him I wanted him to block her. I wanted no contact at all with her and he agreed. So he deleted all of their messages, blocked her number, and blocked all of her social media right in front of me. There will be no communication between them going forward. Again, thank you all so much for the help realizing what was happening and what needed to be done. I really appreciate it. Next story,

Dad always chose my half-brother over me our entire lives, so when we both had graduation on the same day and he picked my brother again I gave him an ultimatum that if he didn't come to mind our relationship was over. So I'm 18M and I have a half-brother who is the same age as me. We'll call him Cameron. Our dad got two women pregnant around the same time. I'm older by six months. My dad chose Cameron's mom over mine and they're married now. Cameron is his parents' only child. Anyways, so I've always felt like I was just a backup son for my dad. I know he does love me, but not as much as Cameron. I live an hour and a half away from him, but he would always make the drive to come see me when I was younger and still does to this day. If I ever need anything, he'll make sure I get it.

He took me on trips all the time with just me and him. But still I felt like an outsider. He would constantly put me second to Cameron. If we both had sports games on the same day, he would always go to Cameron's with his wife. Once when I had an award ceremony he couldn't come because Cameron was sick, it was just a cold, by the way. When I wanted him to teach me how to drive, he said he couldn't because he promised Cameron he would teach him first but that he'd help me after Cameron got his license.

I could list off a bunch of other examples. My dad would show up to my stuff, but if he'd come from my stuff, but if he'd help me to be able to Cameron had something going on at the same time he wouldn't come. Cameron and I aren't friends. We get along fine if we're together, but neither of us is going out of the way to talk to the other. I think he's spoiled and obviously our dad's favorite. Our dad and his mom did him no favors because his grades are bad and his life has no direction. He didn't apply to any colleges and he won't even get a part-time job.

We're both graduating high school this year. His school district released their graduation schedule after mine and of course our graduations are on the same day at the same time. We live an hour and a half apart so obviously our dad can't make it to both. He's known my graduation date for weeks before Cameron learned his. We already had plans for him to come and spend the day here. But I knew as soon as I saw that schedule he was going to flake. At first he said he wasn't sure what he was going to do. He's been avoiding the topic for weeks, but our graduations are on the 29th, so he has to decide

well yesterday he took me to dinner. He told me that he was going to go to Cameron's graduation. He said it was because Cameron's grandparents weren't going to be able to make it and Cameron would only have his mom while I have my mom, stepdad, siblings, and grandparents all coming to mine. I'm not an idiot. It was just an excuse that I knew would be coming. He tried to soften the blow by promising me he'd make up for it by taking me on a graduation trip anywhere I wanted to go. Even though he had already promised me that months ago. He's taking his wife and Cameron on a family trip to Hawaii in June. It's supposed to be Cameron's graduation trip, but he promised he and I would have our own trip. Now all of a sudden that trip is supposed to also be a make-up for

missing my graduation. So I told him okay, I want to go to this one weekend event that is on the same week he's going to Hawaii. He told me he can't because that's when they're going to Hawaii. I didn't actually want to go to this event, I was just proving a point. I told him to postpone his Hawaii trip so he can take me to the event. He said he can't because everything is already paid for and non-refundable. I told him that he's missing my high school graduation. The least he can do is make me the priority when it comes to the graduation trips. He said I'd have to pick a different weekend. I told him he doesn't actually care about making it up to me. He's only okay with what I want so long as it doesn't interfere with his real family. He denied it and told me to try to understand

the position he's in. I told him straight up that he always chooses Cameron over me. For once I want to be the first choice. So I said I'll have a ticket ready for him but that if he doesn't come I'll know where I stand in his life. I don't care about a makeup trip. Either he shows up and we still have a relationship or I'm just done with him. He told me that I was being unreasonable and maybe I am, but I'm still standing my ground. I already know he's not going to come, even after my ultimatum. So am I the asshole for throwing away our entire relationship over this? Update, some people wanted an update to my post.

My graduation was on Wednesday. Surprising everyone, especially me, my dad actually chose me and my graduation. Not at first, but he did come. So what happened after I gave him the ultimatum was he kept trying to talk to me as if nothing was wrong. He was asking me to spend time with him a lot and asking when I was free. Basically either feeling guilty or trying to compensate for choosing Cameron. I never met with him. Cameron messaged me to tell me to stop being an asshole and to get over it because apparently our dad was stressed out over the whole thing. I just blocked Cameron and moved on.

On the day of my graduation, my dad told me he was coming down to spend a day with me before he had to go home to go to Cameron's graduation. At first I told him not to bother, cause there's point in showing up here if you're just going to leave before the actual ceremony, but he ended up coming anyway. We had a small get-together at my house with my mom's side of the family. My dad was there acting as if nothing was wrong. It was annoying. I refused to take pictures with him because I told him I'm taking pictures at my graduation.

If you want pictures with me, you can show up. A few hours before the ceremony he said he had to head out. I said goodbye forever and he pulled me aside to talk. He was trying to justify his decision again. I told him I was serious about what I said. I will not talk to him ever again. I made it clear that this isn't something I'm going to be mad about for a bit and then get over. I'm not going to call him crying in a few years saying I'm sorry.

He asked why I was being like this and I just let it all out. I told him I'm sick and tired of being second place all the time. My entire life I've been told that he can't show up for me because Cameron needs him or he promised Cameron first. Yet the one time I had my graduation date set and planned first he still cancels on me for Cameron. I asked him to give me one good reason why he has to go to Cameron's graduation over mine, specifically. No, this is a tough situation. I can't be in two places at once, etc., he said, because if he doesn't go to Cameron's graduation

he has to deal with a pissed-off wife and his entire home life will be tense. I asked him why can't his wife and Cameron ever be the ones he apologized? to and asks to try to understand. Why do I always have to be purposely handed the short straw? He didn't have an answer. I told him I hope Cameron gets his life together because right now he's on a nosedive trajectory that ends with him still living at home rent free in his 30s with a girlfriend he can't afford to give a ring to, let alone a wedding, and three kids who are being raised by my dad's wife. I didn't care anymore at that point. It's true. Cameron's a loser. And I told my dad good luck because he's the one that's taking care of you when you're old.

I'm out. I guarantee Cameron takes their money and puts his parents in the absolute cheapest nursing home he can find. They failed him by spoiling him and treating him like he's perpetually five years old. Dad still ended up leaving anyway. I refused to hug him and told him I'm done with him. That kind of ruined my mood, but once I got to school and started hanging with my friends, I decided to let it go. I wanted to enjoy my grad night and just forget all the bullshit.

After the ceremony I was shocked to see my dad walking towards me. I was positive he was going to Cameron's graduation. Like gun to my head, get this answer right or you die. Well, I guess I'd be dead because I was 100% sure he'd choose he already did, but I guess he turned around and came back. So he hugged me and told me that he's sorry for everything and how he's treated me and that he does love me just as much as Cameron even if he's been bad at showing it. I don't really believe that last part but he showed up so that's what I'm focusing on.

Cameron was pissed of course and messaged me from a different number to bitch at me. He was calling me a crybaby and selfish. Saying Dad only went to my graduation because I threw a fit. He doesn't understand that it wasn't me having a tantrum. It was a last straw situation I just sent him a picture of me and our dad at my graduation. and told him to get over it. Then I blocked that number two. Fuck him.

I'm glad he knows what it's like to be second choice just once. I'm sure our dad is already bending over backwards to make it up to Cameron anyway so he'll live. Our joint graduation party is going to be awkward but hopefully we'll just keep our distance from each other. Oh, and don't worry, I'm not delusional. I know my dad is just going to go back to his same old routine. And now if I ever bring up his unfairness again he'll always be able to throw in my face that he came to my graduation over Cameron's. It'll probably be his trump card.

NGL it did feel good to have everyone shit on my dad with me in my last post because I was pissed off at him when I posted. I know that he does love me though. Still, I think I'm going to take some advice I got in that post. I'm not cutting my dad off, but I'm going to stop trying. I have a lifetime of him awarding me the silver medal no matter how well I do and I'm tired of it. Cameron can be his favorite son uncontested from now on. I'm just going to live my life and keep my dad at an arm's length. I'm not going to try to force him to prove his love for me anymore.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse's lady acquaintance attempted to take control of his commemoration event following his passing, then asserted she was expecting a child with him and shared digital. altered images of them until she departed a mental breakdown. My husband, Jonah, passed away unexpectedly a month ago from a stroke. I don't want to get specific about that part, it's the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life, and I'm still not sure how I'm ever going to move on. We were married for five years, together for seven. The past two years we've been trying for a baby, but we're just getting to the point of considering IVF when he died. Jonah had a close friend in

High School named Marjorie. Marjorie also ended up going to the same university as he did, and they spent a lot of time together during those college years. Jonah said that he liked Marjorie's company, but never felt anything beyond friendship with her, which I totally believe. Jonah dated other women during that period, but told me that several times Marjorie hinted that she wanted him to ask her out. She also joked about wanting him to be her plan B in case she didn't meet someone and get married by 30. By the time I'd started dating Jonah, he had moved a couple hours away from his hometown, and Marjorie. Despite this, Marjorie

immediately began finding excuses to come to our town and hang out, which usually involved her encouraging us to go drinking, and then her passing out on the couch at Jonah's apartment. I didn't mind her for the most part, but she had a habit of saying things like, you know you ruined our marriage pact, ha, ha, and pointing out all the things that she knew about him, like what he took in his coffee, his favorite bands, etc. Over the course of our relationship, and especially after we got married, Jonah definitely put some distance into his relationship with Marjorie. He confided in me that he felt he had outgrown her and that they really had little in common anymore.

He stopped responding to her invitations to hang out as often, though he would occasionally call to catch up out of guilt, especially when she would text him or leave messages saying she was so sad he was ignoring her and the like. But now he's gone. I had him cremated, like he wanted. We haven't done the memorial service yet, it was too hard for me to even imagine the first couple of weeks, and I also wanted to give time for some out-of-state people to make travel plans. The memorial is this weekend. However, two weeks ago, I received an e-mails. I received an e-mail from Marjorie, sent to around 60 people, including Jonah's family, saying that she was holding a memorial service for Jonah in the town where they grew up the day before his memorial here.

I was completely blown away, seeing as she hadn't mentioned anything to me or even attempted to call. Along with the details, the email said that she was planning the memorial in light of the fact that no other service had yet been held in his memory, and he deserved to be laid to rest with honor. For the record, she was invited to the memorial which I've been planning and knew it was happening. I called her, of course, and told her that while I appreciated her willingness to help with Jonah's goodbye, I was already planning a service for him that would involve all of his family and friends. She immediately went on the defensive, and said that she had only started to plan a service when she realized I wasn't willing to do it in a timely manner.

I told her that the timing wasn't her choice to make, but that if she wanted to have a a memorial of some kind, to please just add on the invitation that his official memorial was going to be held this weekend. She said fine. I sent a message to all of Jonah's invited friends slash family to make sure that they knew the real service with both of our families was going to be here, and then just washed my hands of the whole thing. This week I received a message on Facebook from Jonah's cousin, saying that Marjorie, who has apparently blocked me on Facebook, created an event for Jonah's official memorial service, her memorial, and invited everyone she possibly could.

I've been getting blown up with emails asking which day the memorial is, and where. I'm honestly furious, I don't have the emotional energy to deal with this. I ended up putting a post up on my wall, reiterating the date of his service here, and asking people to please share it. Thankfully I think the older members of the family don't use Facebook or email very often, so most of them haven't been confused, but a lot of people now think that Marjorie's service is the real one. I called Marjorie again, asking her to add an addendum to her event saying that his actual memorial was going to be here. She told me that Jonah would have wanted it this way and that if I couldn't

appreciate her efforts, I wasn't invited to say goodbye to Jonah. I told her that was fine, seeing as I'd already said goodbye to Jonah when I held him as he died. She hung up. Apparently she's now spreading information to her mutual friends with Jonah, saying that he was planning on leaving me because I wasn't able to conceive. She also said that we had approached her to carry a baby for us, all absolute lies. His cousin sent me a screenshot of a text where she said that Jonah always thought we would have the cutest baby together and that Opie doesn't understand how much he wants children. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I don't care what she says about me, but she's now tarnishing my. husband's memory, especially saying that he wanted to divorce. Jonah would never have left me, and anyone that knows him at all knows that we were committed

to each other above all else. I need to figure out how to tell this woman to fuck off without encouraging her to spread more lies. And I also want to just forget the whole thing and crawl in bed and never get up again. Help me, please. Update 1. I apologize for not updating sooner, but a lot happened the last couple of days. Thank you to everyone who offered help and advice.

For those that offered monetary assistance, Jonah and I were in a stable position financially, I'm going to be comfortable until I decide to go back to work. Your willingness to help was deeply appreciated, however, and I'm truly bold over by your kindness. I took the advice of the majority of comments, and called the chapel where Marjorie was planning her service. I spoke with the pastor, who immediately told me that he had been trying to get into it. with me regarding the service. Apparently both Jonah and Marjorie had grown up in that church, I am not religious, and neither was Jonah as an adult. My voicemail has been flooded, so it's definitely plausible that I overlooked his call. He immediately expressed how sorry

he was to hear of Jonah's loss, and said he had received my contact info from Jonah's great aunt who still attends there. He said he was surprised when Marjorie asked to have a service for Jonah, but she had claimed that Jonah and I were separated and I didn't want to be involved. He had been trying to follow up with me, but obviously that didn't happen. He was very apologetic and said that we could cancel the service, or move forward in any way that felt right to me. He said that he knew the church members would appreciate the service, since many of them remembered Jonah as a boy, but obviously Marjorie would no longer have a role. I agreed that the service could go forward. He called. He called him.

to speak with Marjorie after our conversation, and informed her that she was no longer welcome to participate in the organization of the service after her behavior. He wouldn't tell me all that she said, but says she was distraught, and he recommended some mental health slash spiritual services to her that he hopes she accepts. She apparently apologized for lying, and asked to speak with me, but I declined. I feel bad if she's truly contrite, but I just have too much on my plate right now. We had two beautiful services for my husband, first the one at his hometown church, and then the non-religious one that I planned. Everyone that came wanted to honor Jonah, and that's all that really matters. I was told a dozen stories about him that I'd never heard

before, and I laughed so hard I cried, then cried some more. My cousin was on the lookout for Marjorie, and I honestly didn't think about her the whole weekend. She turned up for the first service, ended up speaking with her, unbeknownst to me. My cousin says he was sympathetic but firm, and told her that her presence there would be inappropriate. Surprisingly, she left without fuss. I'm still not sure this situation is entirely resolved, but I got to lay my husband to rest in the way he deserved, and that's the most important thing to me right now. Thanks everyone for your support. Edit 1, I debated whether or not to even mention this, but this community has been so

I thought I might as well, I realized this weekend that I'd missed my period, and I'm usually like clockwork. It could just be stress, but I'm going to take a test later. Can't decide if I'm incredibly hopeful or absolutely terrified. Edit 2, not pregnant. It was a long shot. Thanks for your support. Update 2, I thought I would update since it's been a few months. I haven't been checking my inbox, and I'm sort of amazed I remember the password at all, but I appreciate all of you who sent encouraging messages. It means a great deal to me. It's been around five months since Jonah died, and honestly it still feels like I'm waking up and living the same day over and over again. I'm in therapy, but the feeling of grief

has not subsided whatsoever. Everything reminds me of Jonah and I still feel like half of me is gone. I'm considering moving out of the country, or at least to a different state, but I also feel like a piece of Jonah is here in the house where we lived. Even worse, Marjorie has still not disappeared. I deleted my social media a couple of months ago in an attempt to simplify my life, but my cousin, who also knows Marjorie, let me know that she has been recently posting photos of herself on Facebook, with Jonah. Some were from several years ago, but she was saying things like I still miss my man every day and I can't wait until Jonah's baby arrives. She is apparently pregnant and claiming that the baby is my husband's. She has also photoshopped his face

onto several photos, some on another shirtless male posing semi-suggestively with her. The photoshopping is pretty good, but it's obviously not my husband's body. People have been saying things like congratulations, we know you'll be a great mother to Jonah's child, nobody I knew, thankfully. It honestly made me feel sick, and I went and laid in bed pretty much all day. I hate that she is getting to me like this, but I can't stand the thought that she's claiming my husband was unfaithful to me, and that people are believing it. One bright note is Marjorie's brother, who also knew Jonah. On one of her recent posts, he commented, WTF Marjorie. I spoke to Jonah like two weeks before he died and he said he was trying for a baby with Op, you guys were just friends, this is fucked up and you know it.

The post was deleted a couple of hours later. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have the energy to battle with this woman, but I'm infuriated and hurt by this blatantly disrespectful pack of lies that she's spreading. My cousin called her and asked that she removed the photos, but she apparently said that Op can go to hell, she just doesn't want to accept that Jonah wanted a baby with me more, and she couldn't give him one.

I'm lost, guys. What can I do about this? It seems like all I can do is sit and watch this crazy woman, and try to convince Jonah's friends and family that he never loved me. Update, I just spoke with Marjorie's brother, who called to tell me that Marjorie is not pregnant, but seems to truly believe that she is. He asked her how far along she is, and she said five months, but she is still completely flat. He isn't sure if she's lying, or she actually believes she's having a child with my husband.

He asked her when they conceived, and she mentioned a date that he knew we had been on vacation. Update 3. A lot has happened since my last update. Hopefully this will be the end of the story. Marjorie's brother became very concerned after speaking to me, and apparently questioned Marjorie extensively about her behavior. She continued to claim that she was pregnant with Jonah's baby, and that they had had a lengthy affair, but the details didn't add up. The brother knew Jonah pretty well, and was generally aware of his work schedule, etc. She said they were meeting at a hotel of lunchtime three days a week, but he knew that Jonah came home for lunch with me every day. Stuff like that.

He went home late that night to sleep on it. After he went home, Marjorie came over to see me at 3 a.m. She started screaming at me to come outside, saying that I had ruined her relationship with Jonah, and how happy they were before me, etc. I called the police and her brother, who both arrived around the same. time. She pushed the police officer who tried to ask her what was going on, and was immediately arrested. I felt bad for her brother, but he just apologized to me repeatedly. Marjorie yelled expletives and tried to demand special treatment because the police were apparently hurting her baby by keeping her in the car. I gave a statement, and they left. Not exactly sure what happened

after, but her brother says she is now under psychiatric evaluation, and is apparently struggling with a mental disorder that he wouldn't name. She has apparently not taken her meds in two years. I didn't ask for details, but it seems she is going to get some help. I'm not pressing any sort of charges. Her brother also linked me to his post on social media, where he made it very clear that Marjorie has been having some difficulties, and absolutely none of what she said about Jonah is true. I'm glad this seems to be over, but I've decided I need a fresh start no matter what. I'm looking for a job out of state, and I'll be doing my best to leave my life with Jonah behind. Thank you all for your help and encouragement. Next story, wife got offered a $400,000 job in

California that would force our family to leave Ireland. But when I expressed concerns about moving, she suggested going alone and leaving me with our two young daughters. My, and M-37, wife, F-38, was recently offered a position at a major corporation in California. She's currently working as a chemical engineer in Dublin, earning a very competitive salary. The only catch, at least for my wife, is that there's little to no room for professional growth in her current job because she's already reached the highest position available in her department. A few months ago, she mentioned looking around for a new job as she was feeling really burnt out with her present role. As her husband, of course I wholeheartedly supported her.

She never really mentioned anything about U.S., or that she was even applying to a position in California. Now, ever since she received her offer a few days ago, she's been really happy and excited about possibly moving there. Despite my concerns, I've been very supportive because I did not want her to think that I'm not happy for her. Because I am. But I really don't want her. But I really don't to move to U.S. My wife and I are originally from the Philippines. We have two little girls who were born here in Ireland. The eldest will be starting primary school this year and I worry that if we ever move, she will have a hard time adjusting to a completely different country. In addition, with the current political climate, I'm scared that she might be bullied for being

an immigrant. Not that it can't happen here, but the chances of it happening in U.S. is more likely. Our parents also frequently visits us here from the Philippines and they get to be present in our children's lives. But again, with its current political climate, if we move to U.S., it might be difficult for our parents to apply for a tourist visa and fly in to visit us. My wife is really happy and it fills me with joy seeing how excited she is especially after hearing her complain about how unfulfilling her current job is for months on end. But I honestly don't think moving our family to the United States is the move. How do I tell her this without sounding like an unsupportive husband? Update, June 9, 2025. Hello everyone.

Thank you so much for all the advice on my previous post. I made that post at the break of dawn and I think I was even half asleep so I apologize for the lack of details. I didn't expect it to receive so many comments and I can't reply to all. of them so I'm making a separate post to answer some of the common questions plus give some updates. The company she will be working for is in Sunnyvale, California. Her estimated first-year package is close to half a million US dollars. They are offering to cover moving expenses for our family of four and once in California, we will have temporary housing for 60 days. She will also be given a $30,000 sign on bonus. Both of these, the relocation assistance and

sign on bonus is subject to a retention clause. I think she has to work for the company for at least 24 months, otherwise, she has to repay them. Her base salary is going to be $410,000. More than twice her current wage. Immigration-wise, the company will sponsor her H-1B visa and Perm slash Green Card sponsorship will be available after 24 months of employment. She will also have unlimited PTO and health insurance will be 100% covered by her employer. Lastly, they are also offering her RS use, vested for four years and a 401k package. Currently, we earn just over 520,000 euros per year as engineers. I work remotely as a software engineer for a U.S.-based company, but that arrangement may be impacted if we relocate to the United States, since I likely won't be

permitted to work under an H-4 visa. We also fully own a six-bedroom home in Dublin. Moving to California would mean going back to paying rent or taking on a mortgage again. We've also been to California several times before and my wife loves the fact that it's home to many Filipinos. She says that she'd like for our kids to grow up around other Filipino kids. Plus, she's been away from the Philippines for so long. She did her Ph.D. in Singapore for five years and two years after that, we moved to Dublin. I think the idea of being around our own folks really makes the idea of moving to California more enticing. Anyway, I brought up my concerns to her today, and we've actually been discussing them since this morning.

She seems genuinely intent on accepting the job. I asked her whether she's drawn to it because it truly excites her, or if she's just eager to escape her current role. As others mentioned in my previous post, what if we go through the stress of relocating to California, only for her to end up hating this job too? I told her that if her main reason is just wanting to leave her current position, she can just quit. In fact, I've been encouraging her to quit her job ever since she told me how burnt out she was last year. I had even suggested that we take a month off back in the Philippines to reset and help her recover before job hunting again. Hell, she can take a year off from working for all I care. I don't mind at all. She's incredibly accomplished, with an

impressive resume. I truly don't think she'd have much trouble finding something new and more fulfilling and is not in United States once she decides to work again. The only answer she could give me regarding my question was an I don't know. We've run the numbers and she believes that it's doable, even on a single income. After reading all the comments on my previous post, I'm convinced that even with a $400,000 annual salary, we will not be able to maintain the same lifestyle as we have in Dublin. We travel often, and our eldest does a lot of activities over the year such as sports and musical lessons. We're also planning to send her to a private school. I'm scared that if we try to continue living the same way as we did in Ireland, we'd run through our savings fast if we go

this route. Thankfully, after showing her the news and what's been going on in US right now, plus the school shootings, she agreed that it might not be a good idea to go as a family. But now, she is insisting on going alone and flying back to Ireland on holidays or vacations to see us, or we fly to her. Honestly, I am really upset that she would even suggest this, especially when our eldest is just about to start school. She'd be missing out on so much as a parent. I asked her what will be the long-term plan for us if she decides to go that path, because we'll be. We're can't realistically sustain a long-distance set up forever. I guess that struck a nerve.

She snapped and told me that if I don't want her to take the job, I should just say so instead of pretending to support her while constantly trying to talk her out of it. I'm honestly so tired and upset. I'm really trying to keep a level head and meet her halfway, but I need her to do the same for me. She's usually very rational about things, so this current outburst plus the sudden urge to move to California confuses me so much. We're at a stalemate right now, but I fear that if she continues

to insist on going to California on her own, I'd eventually just fold and agree to moving there as a family. I love my wife and my daughters and I really don't want them to be apart from each other. She has until the end of the month to decide, so I'm hoping she has a change of heart by then. Thank you all for your support, advice, and kind words. I hope you enjoy this story. Steve continued to come over while my spouse was away at work, and all my acquaintances dismissed my concerns until I captured him admitting his feelings and attempting to kiss me. I was holding my baby. My husband Terry and I have been married for three years and we have a six-month-old baby girl named

Maria. Terry's younger brother Ryan is 26 and he's been coming over to our house pretty much every other day for the past two months and it's getting weird because he only shows up when Terry is at work. Terry works construction and he leaves the house at six in the morning and doesn't get back until around 5.30 in the evening and that's exactly when Ryan decides to visit. Ryan will text me around 7 in the morning asking if I need help with anything around the house or if I want company while Terry is gone and at first I thought it was sweet that he wanted to help his brother's wife, but now I'm starting to think there's something else going on. Ryan always brings coffee from this expensive place and he'll sit on our couch for hours talking about random stuff like how his job at the insurance company is boring and how he wishes he had what Terry and I have and he keeps making these comments about how lucky Terry is to have me and how I'm such a good mom and wife. Last week he brought me flowers just because he said I looked tired and needed something to cheer me up and when I told Terry about it he just laughed and said Ryan has always been thoughtful like that. The thing that really bothers me is how Ryan acts when he's here compared to when Terry is around and it's like he's two different people.

When Terry is home, Ryan barely talks to me and he'll watch TV with Terry or they'll work on Terry's truck in the garage, but when it's just me and Maria he becomes super chatty and helpful and he always finds reasons to get close to me like when I'm cooking he'll stand right behind me to see what I'm making or when I'm folding laundry he'll offer. To help in our hands will touch when we're both reaching for the same shirt. Two weeks ago Maria was crying and I was having a really hard time getting her to calm down and Ryan offered to hold her while I took a shower and I was so exhausted that I said yes but the whole time I was in the bathroom I felt anxious and I couldn't relax. When I came out Ryan was sitting in the nursery holding Maria and singing to her and he looked up at me and said I looked beautiful with my hair wet and that Terry was the luckiest man alive and I just felt so uncomfortable that I took Maria back and made up some excuse about needing to feed her. Yesterday was the worst one yet because Ryan showed up at 8 in the morning with pastries from the bakery and he said he had taken the day off work just to help me around the house and I told him I didn't need help but he insisted on staying. He kept following me from room to room and when I was changing Maria's diaper he stood in

the doorway watching and making comments about how good I am with her and how natural motherhood looks on me and it felt so creepy. Then Ryan asked if he could take a picture of me and Maria together because he said we looked so peaceful and happy and I told him no, but he kept pushing and saying it would be a nice surprise for Terry and I had to raise my voice and tell him to stop before he finally backed off. After that he got quiet and sulky and he left around noon but not before telling me he was just trying to be a good brother and that he didn't understand why I was being so cold to him. When Terry got home I tried to explain what happened, but he just said Ryan has always been

awkward around people and that he's probably just lonely since his girlfriend broke up with him six months ago. Terry said I should be grateful that Ryan cares about our family and wants to help and that a lot of wives would love to have such a supportive brother-in-law and I felt like I was going crazy because Terry wasn't hearing what I was actually saying. This morning Ryan texted me again asking if he could come over and I finally snapped and told him to stop coming by when Terry isn't home because it makes me uncomfortable and that if he wants to visit he should wait until Terry gets back from work. Ryan immediately called me and started yelling about how I'm being ridiculous and paranoid and that he's never done anything inappropriate and that I'm

ruining his relationship with his brother by being suspicious for no reason. Ryan said I'm probably just hormonal from having the baby and that I'm imagining things that aren't there and that Terry is going to be pissed when he finds out I'm trying to keep his brother away from their family. Then Ryan hung up on me and 20 minutes later Terry called me from work asking why Ryan was upset and saying I hurt his feelings by accusing him of something he didn't do. Terry said I need to apologize to Ryan and that I'm being unfair because Ryan has never been anything but nice to me and helpful around the house and that I should appreciate having someone who cares about me and Maria when he's not around to help. Terry told me to call

Ryan and smooth things over and that he doesn't want this to become a big family drama and I just hung up because I was so frustrated that my own husband wasn't listening to me. Now Terry's mom has been calling me asking what happened between me and Ryan because apparently Ryan called her crying about how I'm treating him badly and she wants to know why I'm being mean to him when he's just trying to be a good uncle. I haven't answered her calls because I don't know what to say and I feel like everyone thinks I'm crazy but I know something isn't right about Ryan's behavior and I trust my instincts about this. So am I the asshole for telling Ryan to stop coming over when Terry isn't home or am I right to feel uncomfortable about his

constant visits and weird behavior? Update 1. It's been a week since I posted and things have gotten so much worse with Terry's family and I don't know what to do anymore because everyone is acting like I'm some kind of villain for not wanting Ryan around when I'm alone. Terry came home from work the day I told Ryan not to visit anymore and he was already angry before he even walked through the door because apparently Ryan had called him multiple times during his lunch break crying about how I was being cruel to him for no reason. Terry said his whole crew heard Ryan on the phone and now they're all asking Terry what's wrong with his wife that she won't let his brother visit his own niece and it was embarrassing for him at work.

Terry sat me down and told me I need to explain exactly what Ryan did that was so inappropriate because he couldn't understand why I was making such a big deal out of Ryan being friendly and helpful. I tried to tell Terry about all the weird comments Ryan makes and how he only comes over when Terry is at work and how uncomfortable it makes me feel but Terry just kept interrupting me and saying those things aren't actually bad and that I'm reading too much into normal behavior. Terry said Ryan has always been socially awkward and that he doesn't know how to talk to women properly but that doesn't mean he has bad intentions and that I should give him the benefit of the doubt because he's family. Terry told me that Ryan's girlfriend

dumped him because she said he was too clingy and needy and now Ryan is depressed and lonely and just wants to feel like he belongs somewhere and I'm making him feel unwelcome in his own brother's house. Then Terry said the thing that really made me angry which was that maybe I'm feeling paranoid because I'm tired from taking care of Maria and that new mothers sometimes imagine threats that aren't there and that I should talk to my doctor about postpartum anxiety. I told Terry I'm not paranoid or anxious and that my feelings about Ryan are valid but Terry just shook his head and said I'm not being rational about this situation. The next day Terry's mom, Susan, called me and she was not happy at all and she started

lecturing me about how Ryan has always been a sensitive boy and that he's been having a hard time lately and that I should be more understanding instead of pushing him away. Susan said Ryan came over to her house in tears because he feels like I hate him and he doesn't understand what he did wrong and she wants me to apologize to him and make things right. Then Susan really laid into me and said that maybe I'm not used to having a close family because my parents live across the country and I don't have siblings so I don't understand how family relationships work but that doesn't give me the right to hurt Ryan's feelings and caused problems between the brothers.

Susan said if I keep acting like this, I'm going to destroy Terry's relationship with his brother, and that would be unforgivable because family is the most important thing. I tried to explain to Susan that I'm not trying to hurt anyone, but that Ryan's behavior makes me uncomfortable and I have the right to set boundaries in my own home, but Susan just talked over me and said I'm being dramatic and oversensitive. Susan told me she raised her boys to be respectful and helpful and that I should be ashamed of myself for thinking bad thoughts about Ryan when he's just trying to be nice.

Terry's dad called me later and he was much calmer than Susan, but he still basically told me the same thing, which is that I need to give Ryan another chance and stop making assumptions about his intentions. Terry's dad said Ryan has always been the baby of the family and maybe he doesn't realize his behavior could be misinterpreted but that I should talk to him directly instead of just cutting him off completely. The worst part is that Terry is now completely on his family's side and he's acting like I'm the one causing all the drama by refusing to apologize to Ryan and smooth things over. Terry said his family thinks I'm stuck up and ungrateful and that I'm trying to control who he can have relationships with and that's not fair to him or his brother.

Terry told me that if I don't fix this situation with Ryan, then he's going to invite Ryan over whenever he wants whether I like it or not because it's his house too and Ryan is his brother and I don't get to decide who's welcome in our home. He said I'm being unreasonable and paranoid and that he's tired of dealing with this unnecessary drama that I created for no good reason. Ryan has been texting me every day asking when he can come over again and saying he misses spending time with Maria

and that he just wants things to go back to normal between us. He keeps saying he's sorry if he made me uncomfortable but that he doesn't know what he did wrong and that he hopes we can work things out because family is important and he doesn't want there to be bad feelings. I feel so alone in this because everyone thinks I'm wrong and no one is listening to what I'm actually saying

about how Ryan's behavior makes me feel. Terry is barely talking to me except to tell me I need to apologize and his family is treating me like I'm some kind of monster for not wanting Ryan around when I'm by myself with a baby. I know I'm not wrong about this and my instincts are telling me something is off about Ryan, but I don't know how to make anyone believe me when they're all convinced that I'm just being paranoid and mean for no reason.

Update 2. Something really bad happened yesterday and I don't know what to do because everyone already thinks I'm crazy and paranoid about Ryan, but now I have proof that I was right all along and I'm terrified about what's going to happen when I tell Terry. After all the pressure from Terry and his family, I finally agreed to let Ryan come over again because Terry said if I didn't make peace with his brother he was going to start inviting Ryan over whether I wanted him there or not and I didn't want to keep fighting about it when everyone was against me. Terry said Ryan promised to be more careful about how he acts around me and that I should give him another chance to prove he's just trying to be a good brother-in-law.

So yesterday morning Terry left for work at 6 like always and around 8.30, Ryan texted asking if he could come over to apologize in person for making me uncomfortable and to show me that he can be normal and respectful. I really didn't want him to come but I knew Terry would be angry if I said no again, so I told Ryan he could visit for one hour and that was it. Ryan showed up at nine with coffee and muffins like he always does, and at first he was acting more normal than usual and keeping his distance and just making small talk about the weather and asking how Maria was sleeping.

I thought maybe everyone was right and that Ryan had just been awkward before, but now he understood boundaries and things would be better. Maria was having her morning nap in her crib and I was sitting on the couch folding laundry while Ryan sat in the armchair across for me talking about his job and how he's thinking about looking for something new because insurance is boring. Ryan seemed calmer than usual and he wasn't making weird comments about me or Terry or our marriage and I started to relax a little bit thinking maybe I had been wrong about his intentions. But then Maria woke up and started crying and I went to get her from the nursery and when I came

back into the living room with her Ryan's whole attitude changed and he got that same look in his eyes that always made me uncomfortable. Ryan started talking about how beautiful Maria is and how lucky Terry is to have such a perfect family and how he wishes he could have what we have and I could feel my anxiety coming back. I was standing by the window trying to get Maria to stop fussing and Ryan got up from his chair and came over to us and said he wanted to help calm her down. I told him I had it handled but Ryan moved closer and reached out to touch Maria's cheek and his hand brushed against mine and he didn't pull away like he should have and instead he just stood there way too close to me. Then Ryan started saying how good I smell and how Terry doesn't

appreciate how lucky he is and how I deserve someone who notices all the little things I do and pays attention to me the way I should be appreciated. I told Ryan to back up and give me some space, but he just kept talking and saying how he's always thought I was amazing and how he wishes things were different. I tried to move away from Ryan, but he grabbed my arm gently and said he needed to tell me something important and that he's been wanting to say it for months but never had the courage. Ryan said he knows it's wrong, but he can't help the way he feels about me and that every time he sees me with Maria he wishes he was the one coming home to us every night instead of Terry. I told Ryan he needed to leave right now and that what he was saying was completely inappropriate,

but Ryan said he knows I feel something too because of the way I look at him sometimes and that he can tell I'm not happy in my marriage because Terry doesn't pay enough attention to me. I was holding Maria tighter and trying to get to the front door, but Ryan blocked my way and said he just needed me to listen to what he was saying. Ryan kept going on about how he's loved me since the day Terry first brought me home and how he's always wondered what would have happened if he had met me first and how he thinks about me all the time when he's at work or lying in bed at night. I was getting really scared because Ryan was getting more emotional and worked up and I realized I needed to get my phone and record what was happening in case no one believed me again. I managed to get my phone out of my pocket without Ryan noticing and I started recording while he kept talking about his feelings for me and how he knows we could be happy together if I just gave him a chance. Ryan said Terry takes me for granted and that he would worship me the way I deserve and that he could be a better father to Maria than Terry is. Then Ryan said the worst thing which was that he's been coming over when Terry is at work because he wanted to spend time with me alone and see if I felt the same way about him and that all those times he brought me coffee and flowers and helped around the house he was trying to show me how much he cares about me. Ryan said he thought I was starting to warm up to him and that maybe I was beginning to see him as more than just Terry's brother.

I told Ryan again that he needed to leave and that I was going to call police or Terry but Ryan said he wasn't finished talking and that he needed me to understand. how he feels before he loses his courage. I was terrified because I was trapped against the wall with Maria in my arms. Then Ryan said he's been dreaming about kissing me for years and that he can't stop thinking about what it would feel like and before I could react he put his hands on my face and tried to kiss me on the mouth. I pushed Ryan away with my free hand and told him I was calling the police if he didn't leave right now and finally he backed off and realized what he had just done.

Ryan started apologizing and saying he didn't mean to scare me and that he just got carried away because his feelings are so strong and that he would never hurt me or Maria. Ryan kept saying over and over that he's sorry and that he knows it was wrong but that he couldn't help himself and that he's been holding these feelings in for so long that he just snapped. Ryan begged me not to tell Terry because it would destroy their relationship and that he promises it will never happen again and that he'll stay away if that's what I want. I told Ryan to get out of my house and never come back and that I was going to tell Terry everything and Ryan started crying and saying I was going to ruin his life and that Terry would never forgive him and that the whole family would hate him. Ryan said he knows he messed up but that he loves me and he thought maybe I felt something too and that he's sorry for misreading the situation.

After Ryan left I locked all the doors and checked that all the windows were secure and then I sat on the floor in Maria's nursery and cried while holding her because I was so shaken up and scared. I keep replaying what happened and thinking about how much worse it could have been if I hadn't been holding Maria or if Ryan had been more aggressive about trying to kiss me. The recording on my phone is clear and you can hear everything Ryan said about loving me and wanting to be with me and trying to kiss me and I know this is proof that I wasn't being paranoid or making things up like everyone said I was. But I'm terrified to show it to Terry because I don't know if he'll believe me even with evidence or if he'll find a way to blame me

for leading Ryan on or not stopping it sooner. I haven't told Terry what happened yet because he's been working late this week and when he gets home he's tired and just wants to eat dinner and watch TV and I don't know how to bring up something this serious. I am a bit of worried that Terry will think I encouraged Ryan somehow or that I should have seen this coming and prevented it from happening. I also don't know what this is going to do to Terry's relationship with his family because if I tell him what Ryan did then Terry will have to choose between believing me

and supporting his brother and I'm scared about what will happen if Terry's family thinks I'm lying or making it up for attention even with the recording. Final update, I finally told Terry everything and showed him the recording and I'm so relieved that he finally believes me and sees Ryan for who he really is instead of making excuses for his behavior like he's been doing for months. I waited until Saturday morning when Terry didn't have to work and Maria was napping so we could talk without interruptions and I sat him down at the kitchen table and told him I had something very serious to show. him. Terry could tell from my face that something was really wrong and he asked if someone had died or if Maria was sick and I told him no, but that what I needed to tell him was going to change everything between us and his family. I started by reminding Terry about how I'd been telling him for weeks that Ryan's behavior was inappropriate and made me uncomfortable and how Terry and his whole family kept telling me I was being paranoid and

unreasonable. Terry tried to interrupt me and say we didn't need to rehash all that again, but I told him he needed to listen to everything I had to say before he responded. Then I told Terry that Ryan had come over on Thursday and that something happened that proved I was right about Ryan having inappropriate feelings for me and Terry's face got really serious and he asked what Ryan had done. I pulled out my phone and told Terry I had recorded what happened and that he needed to hear it for himself because I knew he wouldn't believe me if I just told him what Ryan said. I played the recording from the beginning where Ryan is talking about how he's always loved me and wishes he met me first and how he thinks about me all the time and Terry's

face went completely white and his hand started shaking. When the recording got to the part where Ryan said he's been coming over to spend time with me alone and see if I felt the same way Terry stood up from the table and started pacing around the kitchen and I could see he was getting really angry. The worst part was when Ryan's voice on the recording said he's been dreaming about kissing me and then you can hear me telling him to get off me and him saying, please just once and Terry punched the wall so hard that he put a hole in the drywall and started yelling about how he was going to kill his brother for touching me. Terry was furious and kept saying he couldn't

believe Ryan would do something like this and that he felt sick thinking about all the times he defended Ryan and told me I was overreacting when Ryan was actually planning to assault me in our house. Terry said he was sorry for not listening to me and that he should have trusted my instincts instead of dismissing my concerns and making me feel crazy. Then Terry called Ryan there in front of me and when Ryan answered Terry started screaming at him about what he did to me and calling him a disgusting pervert and saying he never wanted to see him again. I could hear Ryan trying to interrupt and make excuses, but Terry just kept yelling that Ryan was dead to him and that if he ever came near me or Maria again, Terry would make

sure he regretted it. Terry told Ryan that he had heard the recording of everything Ryan said and did and that there was no way to deny it or explain it away and that Ryan was sick for trying to assault his brother's wife while she was holding their baby. Ryan was confused about the recording and then Terry said that Ryan had destroyed their relationship forever and that he never wanted Ryan to contact any of us again and then he hung up and threw his phone across the room. After Terry calmed down a little bit he hugged me and apologized over and over for believing

me and for making me deal with Ryan's harassment by myself for so long. Terry said he felt terrible that I had been scared and uncomfortable in our own home while he was at work and that he should have protected me instead of defending Ryan and making me feel like I was the problem. Terry asked me if Ryan had ever touched me before or said inappropriate things when I didn't have proof and I told him about all the times Ryan stood too close to me or made comments about how lucky Terry was and how Ryan always found excuses to touch my hand or stand behind me in the kitchen. Terry got angry all over again and said he couldn't believe he had been so blind to what was happening. Then Terry's phone started ringing and it was his mom.

Susan calling and Terry answered and immediately started telling her what Ryan had done and that they were never going to see or speak to Ryan again. I could hear Susan getting upset and trying to defend Ryan and saying there must be some misunderstanding but Terry told her he had proof and that Ryan had admitted everything on recording. Susan started crying and asking Terry not to cut Ryan out of the family and saying that Ryan must be sick or having a breakdown and that they should try to get him help instead of abandoning him. Terry told Susan that Ryan made his choice when he decided to assault me and that he doesn't care what happens to Ryan anymore because protecting me and Maria is more important than Ryan's feelings or problems. Terry told Susan that if she or anyone else in the family tries to defend Ryan or contact us about giving him another chance then they would be cut off too because he's not going to let anyone make me feel unsafe or uncomfortable ever again.

Susan kept trying to argue but Terry hung up on her and turned his phone off so she couldn't call back. Over the weekend Terry's dad and sister Emily both tried calling and texting, but Terry ignored all of them and told me he doesn't want to hear anything they have to say unless it's to apologize to me for not believing me and supporting Ryan instead of protecting me from his inappropriate behavior. Terry said he's embarrassed that his family treated me so badly and made me feel like I was wrong for trusting my instincts about Ryan and that he's going to make sure they all know exactly what Ryan did so they can't pretend it wasn't that serious or that I was overreacting.

Yesterday Terry changed all the locks on our house and installed a security camera by the front door in case Ryan tries to come over when Terry isn't home and he also talked to our neighbor and asked her to call the police if she sees Ryan anywhere near our house. Terry said he's not taking any chances with mine and Maria's safety and that Ryan lost the right to be part of our family when he tried to assault me. I'm so relieved that Terry finally knows the truth and believes me and is putting me and Maria first instead of trying to keep the peace with his family like he was doing before. Terry keeps apologizing for not listening to me sooner and for letting Ryan make me feel unsafe,

but I told him what matters is that he believes me now and is protecting us from Ryan. We haven't heard from Ryan since Terry confronted him, but Terry said if Ryan tries to contact me or show up at the house, he's going to call the police immediately and file for a restraining order. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that Terry knows what really happened and I don't have to pretend that Ryan's behavior was normal or that I was being paranoid about his intentions. I'm still processing everything that happened and I'm probably going to talk to someone about it other than Reddit. I hope you enjoy this story. The whole clan urged me to create a counterfeit certificate for my unemployed sibling who blackmailed me, but after relenting

and producing it, he secured a job. At an airport with no background check then quit after two days. So long story short, my brother is 22 and doesn't have a diploma or any skills. He usually bounces between under-the-table jobs to being jobless. He doesn't have that many opportunities, so he had the idea or maybe another sibling suggested it, ick, that he'll just have me scan my older sister's high school diploma, and Photoshop his name and what would have been his graduation year on there. All of my family is on board with this, except for me. At first I argued it was illegal, but then one of my sisters called me a hypocrite because I torrent programs and download music, and I responded with saying that so if anyone downloads music or torrents a program,

they are not allowed to criticize other illegal actions like murder or grape. She said that I can't compare that to Photoshopping a diploma, but I was just giving an example. Since when did doing a small illegal thing become equivalent to condoning all illegal things? Anyway, that's besides the point. All my sisters kept telling me how I do nothing for the family, and how they always do stuff for me, and that I need to do this for my brother, while my mother tries to guilt trip me into doing it by saying do it for me. I told my sister why doesn't my brother just get his GED? I dropped out of high school last month and am close to getting my GED this month,

and she replied with saying that my brother isn't mentally developed and that he can't simply do that. I then tell her that he dropped out, he now needs to face it. the consequences. She said that isn't fair because he was dropped on his head as a baby, and he isn't mentally developed okay, he is academically stupid because he never paid attention in school and makes horrible decisions but he doesn't have a disability and is completely functional. Anyway, I should also note that I don't even like my brother. He constantly lies and steals, though, on the bright side as of recently he hasn't stolen from anyone because he has a job and my mom sometimes gives him money, but despite that just a few days ago he took a credit card

from her purse. Anyway, yeah, me and my brother don't get along. Fights between us are rare, but a month ago we got into a huge fight and all my sisters and my mom tried getting between us, and I ended up pulling a knife on him. He said he was going to grate me. My other sister makes an argument that I have to do this because my brother does stuff for me. Like driving me to a college to take two of my GED tests. With my mother's car. With gas my mother filled. And then when he picked me up my mother went,

and she wanted to stop by three different places, and he cursed at her and told her to choose one place. Other things he has done for me was he got me a public sub with his food stamps a few weeks ago. And sometimes he drives me to my friend's house, again, with my mother's car that he always wastes the gas on immediately after dropping me off he does my mom driving favor so he can get the car and give one of his friends' rides. Anyway, my entire family keeps getting on my case saying I have to do it.

I keep on hearing that I don't do nothing for my family and how I don't benefit my family from one of my sisters, and that they always do stuff for me. Update 1, well, I'll make this a quick update. After making the post and receiving a few comments where people said that my family was being stupid and it wouldn't work. I read them to one of my sisters and mom. My sister and mother were surprised to hear that it wouldn't work and didn't know that background checks could figure out rather or not you graduated high school. Status quo is returned to normal. They left me alone about it now. Today when I looked at the post again, I was surprised to see that it had blown up quite a bit.

I showed them the post a few hours after it was posted, so I was surprised to see it now have over a comments. The new comments address something that I feel needs to be clarified. Yes, my brother did threaten to grate me, but it was all shit talk. He got it from my 27-year-old brother who always threatens to great people. I just mentioned him saying that to me to show how much of a shitty brother he is, and to further show why I don't want to do him any favors. I'm not actually worried that he'll grate me. As for me pulling a knife on him, yes, I did do that. We were in a physical fight, and he's six years older than me. I pulled a knife to even the odds.

As for my family being stupid. Well, yes, this was a lapse of judgment on my sisters and mothers part. My mother gets a pass because she doesn't know how background checks work, and is a bit clueless when it comes to certain things. She didn't grow up in America. However, my sisters, they genuinely didn't know that background checks would show rather than or not you graduated high school and thought that just having a physical copy would be enough to get you a job. Some comments did say that most jobs would be too lazy to confirm, so I guess they

weren't completely off the mark. As for them being stupid, they're all smarter than me. My oldest sister graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA, and is a year away from becoming a pharmacist. My other sister graduated with a 3.9 GPA, and got her bachelors in college a few years ago. And then my other other sister I know. I have three sisters, is incredibly intelligent and has more common sense than all my family combined. She just sided with my family because she's admittedly biased and likes ganging up on me. My brother on the other hand. Yeah, he's stupid.

As for abuse in my family, yeah, my family. family is pretty abusive. My parents abused all my siblings, but stopped around the time when I was like, four or five. My oldest siblings took over abusing us. My oldest sister stopped abusing us because not only she moved out, but because by the time me and my other sister the biased one, where in middle school, we could kick her ass. My oldest brother is still abusive, and that hasn't changed because my mother is an enabler, and my dad is passive. He moved out a month ago, though it would suck if he returned. There isn't really abuse in my house at the moment. As for my 22-year-old brother, my mother enables him the most because parents will always protect their weakest child.

I'd prefer if my mom would disown both my brothers, but it isn't going to happen. My family wouldn't be so bad if my two brothers were gone. For anyone who is curious, I'd I do plan on cutting my brothers out of my life when I grow older, but not the rest of my family. Anyway, I'm sorry for going off topic, I just needed to address some of the things said in the comments of the original post. Update 2, it's been two months since I posted the update on this entire problem. I know I said the situation was solved after I told my sisters about the posts, but apparently it wasn't.

Also, this update is a month and a half late, but never late than never. Okay, a few weeks after my first update was made, my brother applied for a job at an airport. I'm not sure what the job entailed, I'm pretty sure it's simple manual labor stuff. That's besides the point. So, to get this job my brother needed to take a drug test and show proof that he had a diploma or GED. Even though the GED part came first, I'll start with the drug test part. So my brother smokes weed a lot, so he had my oldest sister asked him. me to pee in a cleaned out eyedrop bottle. I refused, so my sister had to be the one to do it.

My brother's plan was to wear tight underwear and hide the eyedrop bottle under his nut sack, his words, not mine. The day he went to go take the drug test, he chickened out and ended up using his own pee. He fucking passed. He smokes weed almost every night. He must have had weed in his system. But he fucking passed. Now, let's get to the GED part which happened before the drug test, so my brother lied to the man slash lady slash whoever that was going to hire him, and said that he had his GED. He was asked to bring in his diploma. I'm confused too. Everyone in the comments had said that places do background checks, and no one asked to see the diploma. But they asked my brother to bring it the next day. So what happened?

that day. My mom and all three of my sisters all ganged up on me to make him a fake GED on Photoshop. They said all I had to do is change the name on my GED that I earned, and put his. It was one thing when they asked me to make him a fake high school diploma by putting his name on my sister's diploma. But this enraged me. I earned my GED, and it enraged me that they asked me to Photoshop his name on my GED that I earned. I yelled at my mom. I said that my MOYD. I yelled at my mom and sisters, and they left. They then tried again an hour later. They tried to bargain. My mom offered me $100, and said she'd buy me whatever food I wanted that day. My sister said that I wouldn't even have to do it, and that all I had to do was teach them how to do it, and also teach them

how to get Photoshop. This went on for hours they would leave and come back 20 or 30 minutes later. Finally, it was nighttime, and I just got sick of it. I said fine, I'll make it. I refused to use my own GED as a template, so I pulled off a GED template off of Google, erased the name and date on the GED diploma using Photoshop, and added in his name and a different date and I also downloaded a diploma font for some of the text. I also Photoshopped our state seal onto the diploma because mine had one. The GED looked nothing like mine.

and honestly the text that was left on it was sort of blurry while his name and the new date was more clear. I was kind of hoping for him to get called out and then get a felony for forgery or something like that. Anyway, my sister printed it out and got it laminated. He took it in, and he got the job. No background checks. Let me repeat, this is an airport job. Why was there no background check? Anyway, he went through the week of training, and then officially started work.

He quit on the second day because someone told him to pick up something I think a cone, and he refused to do it. He told my parents that the man only told him to pick it up because he was racist. Now here I am, over a month and a half later. I honestly sort of forgot about all of this, until today when my oldest sister and I were talking. We were discussing my brother, and she was saying how he wasn't that. bad while I was trash talking him. Suddenly tons of terrible shit he has done came to mind, and I remembered the GED thing. I then say, hey, remember when you all spent hours trying to convince

me to make him a fake GED so he could get a job, and then he quit two days later. And then she said, yeah, that was fucked up. Then my other sister had the nerve to tell me shut up, we all had to beg you like dogs to make it. So yeah, this update is more of a vent too. What my sister told me got me angry about this entire situation again. I also regret making that fake GED. I don't understand how he passed the drug test and how they didn't even do a background check. Next story, had sex with my best friend on my birthday and got pregnant, when I finally told my parents they were so supportive, but then I found out it was in pregnancy that could kill me. I'm 16, I'm pregnant, I need advice now.

I had sex with a friend on my 16th birthday because I wanted to experience it. It was with a good friend of mine and I initiated it all. I'm not on birth control. I didn't think I'd get pregnant and he pulled out to finish but I think he may have squirted in me first. It doesn't matter because I'm pregnant. I am over two months late and took a test this morning and another after school. I don't know what to do. I can't tell my mom, I don't want to tell anyone, I have no one to go to.

I can't get an abortion, I just don't think I can live with that. I might regret it forever. I don't know anything right now. My parents will be home in a few hours and I have no idea what I'm going to say or do. I want to run away, but I can't. I wanted to call my friends but they can't help me. I dialed planned parenthood like 20 times but never called. Oh my God, what the fuck am I going to do?

I need to know who to call and what to say to my mom. I can't imagine that there is a baby growing in me. I am not prepared for that. What the heck am I supposed to do? Please someone give me advice on how to handle this and what I can tell my mom. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears the moment. I'm that close to the edge right now. I need help. Please someone tell me what to say and who to call and what to do. Update, I just

reread what I wrote this afternoon and feel like so much has happened in a few hours. Thank you for all the great advice and comments, I am overwhelmed with the messages and advice. Someone wanted to know what happened, so here it is. My dad came home and came to my room after talking to my mom for a few minutes. I was so scared, I have never seen my daddy look that way, and I didn't know what he was thinking or about to do, but he pulled my desk chair next to where I was sitting on my bed, looked me in the eye and said, I want to tell you one thing, Princess. I love you no matter what you do, where you are, or what situation you are in. I am always there to take care of you and help you see it through. He then asked me, am I sure that I am pregnant?

And I said, yeah, pretty sure, and he said, are you okay? And I saw him start to tear up. I've never seen my daddy cry, and when I saw that I just lost it and started bawling and told him everything that happened. He scooped me up off the bed and hugged me with my head on his shoulder and I just kept crying and I told him about what happened and how I've been worried about this for weeks and that I didn't know what I should do or if they would still love me and if I should just run away or so something worse and that I posted here for advice after my husband.

second. Test and that people were so nice and supportive and that changed everything and that told me to call mom and she dropped what she was doing to be here and how I really don't know what to do, and he just held me for what seemed like an hour until I was done crying and then he set me down on my bed. Took a tissue to wipe his face and gave me the box to clean up mine. My mom scheduled an appointment with her gynecologist for tomorrow morning, they are going to run a full pregnancy test and do an ultrasound because girls my age may have a tropic pregnancy where the fetus is in the ovary not in the uterus or something like that. She told me a girl my age can have all sorts of serious complications so getting to the doctor

is the first priority. My daddy has been friends with Mike's parents for more than 25 years, which I guess is why we grew up so close as friends. He is going to talk to his dad tomorrow after we are sure of everything and then we will sit down together to talk about what happens next. There will be no other discussions about this until after the doctor's appointment. I really appreciate the thoughtful and supportive advice from everyone. You really saved my life this afternoon because it gave me something to focus on other than thinking the worst about everything like I was doing this afternoon. I really love and appreciate my parents too.

I can't believe how cruel some people can be to their daughters, that is just awful. I also read up on Planned Parenthood and am ready to give a presentation on all of their services thanks to the great information some of you provided. I'll give you an update tomorrow morning when I get back from the doctor. I am exhausted right now, mentally, emotionally, and physically drained of all energy. My mom wants me to sleep with her tonight just to be safe, so I think I'm going to put on my jammies and say good night. Thanks again, I really owe you all so much and that's a debt I don't know that I can ever repay. Update 1, I wanted to give everyone an update about this morning.

So I am pregnant. It finally hit me what all that meant and I was happy, sad, confused, overwhelmed, and upset all at once. I went to see a gynecologist for the first time and that was terrifying, she was so nice but it hurt and I felt so violated. My mom said, You think that is bad, just wait until there are 10 people working there while you are giving birth, that made me throw away. up. I threw up for 20 minutes. It hurts so much. So I am pregnant. There is a big problem with it that I don't really fully understand. Everything has been a blur and I can't really get everything that everyone is saying. I have an extra uterine pregnancy. They said the baby isn't where it is supposed to be, like in the extra uterus, makes no sense, or in the Philippian tubes.

The baby won't grow there and it will cause bleeding and a lot of medical issues so I have to get an abortion. I don't have a choice because it might kill me or cause serious issues. I threw up when I heard this too. I'd been throwing up all morning and so dizzy. My mom and dad met with my friend's dad last night when I was asleep. I thought we were going to do this tonight but they thought it would be best. So Mike, my friend, was at my house at 7 o'clock this morning. with my favorite donut and a cup of tea. He knows me. I cried as soon as I saw him and told

him I was so sorry. And he hugged me and said no, this was my fault. I should have insisted on a condom or told you no until we were more prepared. I said you didn't even want it and he responded I wanted it more than anything. But didn't want to let you down or do something wrong, you are so special to me. I fucking died right there. I started to I started crying at like 7 o'clock and haven't really stopped yet. It is probably the hormones but the puking and crying haven't stopped since 7 o'clock and I feel so great about what he said to me, like those are the most magical words that I've ever heard.

You are so special to me, the way he said that, the feeling when he held me. OMG, what the fuck is wrong with me? I am pregnant and my pregnancy will end around 2 o'clock today. I am at the surgical center waiting for my mom's gynecologist and another doctor to arrive. I feel so alone and so sick. I'm a mess. I'm thinking about Mike right now and I wish things were different. I wish I saw him before the way I am thinking of him now.

I hope that this doesn't ruin our friendship. I hope this doesn't ruin me too. I feel sort of good that the decision was made for me, like this wasn't meant to be. It was an at-fault accident that I caused. Oh God, I am so sick to my stomach and my body hurts. My heart hurts. My brain hurts. A doctor or nurse just came in to draw a line on my stomach and she touched my BJ to check for something and then left.

I don't know what she was doing but my mom had to go to the other side of the curtain for it. The nurse told her that I would be taken down the hall in a few minutes, so I need to wrap this up. I've never been so nervous or felt so small and helpless as I do right now. Everything is outside my control right now. I'm getting anesthesia, or however it is spelled, in a few minutes so I'll say by and check back if I'm still alive after the procedure. Update 2, I made a post on Monday when I found out I was pregnant. I was totally freaking out and got some great advice that really saved me from doing something

completely stupid. So on Tuesday I found out I had an ectopic pregnancy, something I had never heard of before, and needed to have a surgical abortion that afternoon. That went very well, according to my mom's doctor, and I was able to go home after it was done. I'm not sore but just achy and crampy and bleeding a lot. This week is a blur. Right now I'm feeling so lonely and isolated and afraid. I haven't been to school since Monday morning and need to go back tomorrow.

There are only a few people who know I was pregnant and had the abortion. Those are my parents, my friend's parents, my doctor and his staff, and that's it. I haven't said anything to my friends but they keep asking why I'm not in school and I don't know what to tell them. I have to go back tomorrow and I feel like there I'm wearing a letter of shame because of what happened. I want everything to return to normal but I know it can't. I'm going to need to figure out what to say to people and how to deal with things. if someone finds out. I heard there may already be a rumor about me being in the hospital and don't know if someone heard something or saw me there or what it's all about. How do I deal with this

shame? I feel like such a terrible person right now because of what I did. I practically begged my friend to have sex with me and when he did I got pregnant and had to tell him and then he was all nice and supportive but I haven't seen him since Wednesday morning when he stopped on his way to school to give me some flowers and I think he texted me yesterday but I wasn't up to talking to anyone because I'm sick and crampy and disgusting. How can I go to school tomorrow? Should I text my friend back or wait for him to get back to me? What should I tell my friends and teachers? I think they will know what happened just by looking at me. I don't look the same. I don't feel the same. I don't think I am the same as I was. I hope you enjoy this story.

Spouse welcomed her entire clan to reside with us at no cost without consulting me. We argued, and she labeled me a solitary failure. In response, I discreetly undertook an action they never anticipated. Expected. I recently ended the lease agreement on my house and moved out without telling my wife and I know that right off the bed, I do look like the ah, but I had my reason so I hope you guys give me a chance and hear me out before any sort of judgment. My wife, Kathy, 30F, and I, 31M, have been together for the past six years and married for two.

She and I have always had a normal relationship and the only bone of contention, so to speak, has been her family. They are quite a big family with her, her parents, and three siblings, and they've always lived together in a pretty large house that her grandfather had left for them. She's very close to her family and I don't mind that. I actually appreciate it because I haven't really grown up in a healthy family environment myself. However, in the past couple of months, I feel like I have grown a bit distant from them because they were constantly trying to talk Kathy and me into trying to get pregnant.

We had explained to them quite a few times that we were just not ready to have kids yet, but that did not deter them at all, because every time we visited them, or they visited us, someone or the other would bring it up and start talking about it, probably in the hopes that we would consider it and start trying to get pregnant. It would have been forgivable if it had been just her parents since they are older and maybe think differently, but even her siblings would hop on the bandwagon and would often try to convince us that having kids was the greatest idea. I don't know what it was, maybe they just romanticized the idea of having a huge and happy family but it was just not realistic since

neither of us was ready yet. Personally, I wanted to speak to them and let them know that it was not okay for them to be constantly bringing it up with us, especially when we had made it clear that we were not ready since it made both of us quite uncomfortable and sometimes even annoyed. However, Kathy wanted to go a different way and the way she wanted to deal with this situation was by not dealing with it at all. She told me that her family had always been involved in her life and even now, they expected that they would have a say in things like this but they didn't have any bad intention so we should just let it go. I didn't like the idea of not even saying because I knew that it would mean having to listen to them talk about this some more, but I didn't want to hurt, so we decided to drop it and didn't say anything to them.

And whenever they would bring up the topic about having kids and stuff, we would just nod and smile and let it go until they dropped the topic themselves. That's why I had been finding it very hard to get along with them in the past couple of months and had been distancing myself from them. However, two weeks ago, something very unfortunate happened and they had a major fire at their house. It's in the process of getting reconstructed right now and that's going to take a few months. Insurance has it all covered, so they don't need to worry about the money going into it either, but what they didn't need to worry about was the temporary accommodation that they would need since their insurance plan would cover them just about a couple of weeks and after that, they would be on their own and have to spend out of their own pockets.

On top of that, all my siblings-in-law had also been living in the same house, as is the norm in Kathy's family. Nobody really moves out until they absolutely have to or really want to. Like Kathy only moved out when she decided that she wanted to stay with me before marriage, since that way, they don't have to worry about rent and in today's economy, I totally understand that. What I don't understand is why her siblings can't find a place of their own to live at the moment and have to tag along with their parents wherever they go. It had become a problem for me because Kathy decided to invite her parents to come stay with us so they wouldn't have to spend any money on accommodation since obviously,

we were not going to ask them for rent. Had it been just them, I would have been fine with it, even though Kathy hadn't even discussed this with me before asking them. But she also told me that it wouldn't be just her parents coming to stay with us, but also her siblings and they wouldn't be paying rent either. I had a huge problem with that because it's not like her siblings are really young, they are all in their 20s and are working right now. So it's definitely not like they cannot afford to pay rent and I think it's unreasonable to expect

that just the two of us will be able to handle taking care of all the expenses of a family of almost seven adults, including ourselves. It was an impossible task and there was no way that we would be able to avoid burning through our savings if we did not ask them to contribute to the household expenses. And I didn't mean just rent, I meant groceries, utilities, and whatever other costs were incurred during their stay. If they couldn't afford that, it would be better for them to find separate accommodation for themselves because there was no way that I was going to allow Kathy's entire family to move in and live on our dime for the next couple of months. That's when Kathy started throwing a tantrum and told me that I was being selfish, even though I really don't think that was the case.

I thought I was being perfectly reasonable because I did not see any reason why her entire family needed to come over and stay with us for free for the next couple of months, or why she had even invited them to do so, knowing that we would definitely not be able to afford that kind of thing. For context, I work in marketing and she's a high school teacher and together, with the kind of income that we bring home, we might be able to support her parents and let them live with us for free for the next couple of months, but her siblings are out of the question. I kept trying to explain to her that they have jobs and they earn enough money to find places of their own, that they are adults and they will be fine. But she kept insisting that she had to have her whole family over because she wanted to be there for them in such tough circumstances. And she had already told them that they would not need to pay for anything while they were staying here, so she wasn't even willing to go back on her word and ask them to contribute if they wanted to stay with us, since that would make us seem like cheapskates. never mind the fact that we would actually go block if we tried to live up to what she promised them without even thinking, she cared more about what they thought than about our own circumstances. So we just kept arguing about it for a good half an hour and I tried my best to keep my cool but it started to get really difficult because she just didn't get my point at all and kept making it sound like I was the one who didn't understand. Eventually, she just snapped at me and told me that I was never going to understand, and it was

foolish of her to expect me to even try and sympathize with her because I was just an orphan loser and I was never going to get what she was feeling. That hit me really hard because everyone who knows me knows that it's a really sore spot for me. I lost my parents in a car accident when I was little, around the age of nine, and then I was passed around from relative to relative and didn't have a proper home until my dad's uncle decided to adopt me at 13, just so that I would have a permanent home. He was nice enough to me, but there was no emotional connection since he was too busy with work and the only reason he had even

adopted me was because my grandparents were getting up there in age and nobody else was ready to take care of me on a permanent basis. Unfortunately, I lost him to cancer as well a couple of years ago and since then, I don't really have any parental figures to look up to. My parents and my family, or their lack thereof, are a trigger for me, and Kathy, of all people, knows that really well. So I guess that's why she decided to hit me where it hurts. When she said that to me while arguing, I was so shocked that I just didn't say anything to her or in general for the next couple of hours. I went to my office and locked myself in and I kept hoping that she would walk in,

apologize or something, or at least try to speak to me, but she didn't. I thought that maybe she would come back to me the next day, but even then, she just left for work and didn't even look back. I was really disappointed and had a total breakdown, after which I decided that I was going to leave. It was a really low blow and if she didn't even feel sorry about it, it meant that she clearly did not love or respect me as much as I thought she did. Because if I had been in her place, no matter how angry I felt, I would never say something like that. So, that day, while she was at work, I decided to stay back home and speak to the landlord and told him that I wanted to end my lease. He told me that he would arrange for it and after that was confirmed, I started packing my

things and with a couple of clothes and other essential belongings that I would absolutely need, I drove to a friend's house and since then, I've been staying with him. Even after I left and did not come back, Kathy did not try to reach out to me and it felt as if this made no difference to her at all, and even if I did, it was probably not as important to her as it was to prioritize her own ego. I've been pretty miserable for the past couple of days, ever since last week, since I left home, and had been contemplating speaking to a lawyer about divorce because, at this stage, I don't see the point of staying together since she has made it very clear that she is perfectly fine without me as well and honestly. Our last fight really

left a bitter taste in my mouth. My feelings on this situation had already been quite complicated and after speaking to Kathy yesterday, I'm even more confused about what to do because a few days back, I finally ended the lease agreement with my landlord and he approached Kathy to discuss this with her since now. She was going to be the primary tenant of the property and that's how she found out that not only had I moved out, but I had also ended the agreement without her knowing. That was why she had called me up and when I answered the phone, she immediately, she immediately, immediately started yelling at me and told me that I had taken things too far by doing this. Apparently, after the fight that we had last week, she had called her parents up the very next

day and told them that she would only be able to allow them to stay with us, and her siblings would have to find places of their own. By doing that, she also ended up in a fight with them and because she had gone back on her word and her family thought that she was giving me more importance than them, they were also not speaking to her anymore. However, I didn't know that since I hadn't bothered to speak to her, and I had been very upset about how she had treated me and what she had said, so I had left without a word. Both of us had kept waiting for the other to apologize, to reach out to us, and that had created a bit of an ugly situation because now, I had already signed off on ending the lease and she had to find out about it from the landlord

and not me. Both of us knew for a fact that she wouldn't be able to afford the rent on her own salary, since she earned significantly less than I did and she thought that it was really cold of me to put her in that position because I knew that she would have to give up the house if she wouldn't be able to afford rent. She told me that she was really sorry about the comment that she had made, and whatever she had said while she was fighting with me, but the least that I could have done for her was at least inform her or try to talk to her before taking such a huge step. While we were on the call, she even started crying and that made me feel really awkward, but I stood my ground and I told her that I needed some time to think about what I wanted to do

because what had already been done could not be reversed. She kept requesting me to come back, but I told her that I needed some time to think things over. That was yesterday and this evening. A couple of hours ago, even her family members reached out to me to apologize on her behalf in their own as well. They told me that they were sorry about everything, especially for not respecting my boundaries and putting us both in a difficult position and they also said that they hoped that I would be able to work it out with Kathy now. The only thing that I'm in a dilemma about is whether I did the right thing

by leaving the house and ending the lease without even speaking to Kathy, because I knew for a fact that she wouldn't be able to afford the rent on herself, and I guess, somewhere, deep down, I wanted to hurt her as well. She and the rest of our family have been messaging me to go back home to her because I owe her a conversation about this, at the very least. However, I'm not sure if they're doing it because they really want us to work things out or if it's just because of the house since nobody wants to end up looking for a new place to live on such short notice. Ida for moving out and ending the lease on our house after an argument without speaking to my wife. Edit, I have had a fairly normal relationship with my in-laws as well so far, and I generally did not have any issues with them until they started pushing Kathy and me to have kids.

Even then, I tried my best to have a cordial relationship with them, but just kept my distance and didn't interact with them as frequently as we used to. Right now, my in-laws are staying in a hotel and Kathy's siblings are staying with their friends. It's a pretty convenient arrangement for all of them, and they can just continue to stick to it until their house is fully reconstructed but from what Kathy told me. They had their heart set on the idea of staying with us and were quite offended when she told them that it would not be possible anymore because I was not fine with it and after hearing out my concerns, even though she had argued with me in the heat of the moment, she did see where I was coming from. But apparently, her parents and her siblings did not

feel the same way and had ended up fighting with her because not only was she going back on her word, but they also found it quite unfair that even if they came over to stay with us, we would expect them to pull their weight around the house and contribute to the expenses. They had told her that this is not how family treats each other, and Kathy had tried to defend me, but they started lecturing her for that as well because they thought that they were being pushed to a corner because of my influence on Kathy and had even brought up how they were being sidelined all the time by me by talking about the baby thing. Even though Kathy did not want kids right now, either. I guess that's why they decided to reach out to me and apologize to me as well since they felt

responsible for making the fight worse by guilt-tripping, Kathy. And that was why it had taken her so long to reach out to me or maybe she wouldn't even have done that and would have allowed the situation to play out on its own, but contacted me because she had found out that I had ended the lease agreement. Update 1, hi, so I decided to speak to Kathy about what was to be done regarding this situation. The last time that we spoke was three days ago, and that was on the phone. Since then, I have spoken to several of my friends and gone through the comments here and most people seem to be of the opinion that while I was in the A for whatever I did, I still

owe her a conversation at the very least if I do want to make this marriage work. For the past three days, she and her family have been constantly messaging me, telling me to speak to her because they know that we can make it work. So I decided to finally respond to her and I honestly did not have a plan about what I was going to say to her or how I was going to deal with this. I just decided that I was going to be honest with her and whatever happens, happens. So this morning, I texted her back and I told her that I was ready to meet her in the evening after work. I went over to our house directly after work, and as soon as she opened the door to me, she hugged me and started crying and told me that she was really sorry about what she

had said. That was a bit surprising, but it was also quite relieving for me to know that she had been affected by this because it had been breaking my heart to think that maybe she didn't care about us at all. After she backed away, and we sat down to have a proper conversation, she told me that she wanted to start off by apologizing once again, especially for the comment that she had made because it was particularly hurtful and below the belt, and she hadn't stopped regretting it ever since those words had left her mouth. But she had been too proud and angry to apologize at the time, and by the next day, she had spoken to her family and gotten into a fight with them as well. So things were going particularly badly for her and that's why she kept delaying the apology until she realized

that it might get too late. As soon as the landlord had spoken to her about me ending the lease, she decided to reach out to me because she really did not want to give up on our marriage, and she was willing to do whatever it took to make things right. She told me that she was determined to make it work and fix her mistakes because she knew that she had been in the wrong all along. And I have got to say, the way she handled the situation today, I really hadn't seen it coming. I had thought that she was going to try and pass off the blame to me somehow, or at least get defensive or something because that's what had happened the last time that we fought. This time, though, I felt like I was back with the Kathy that I had known for so many

years and not the person who had really emotionally hurt me during our last fight. I had been pretty upset with her in the past couple of days ever since we fought, but today, I felt better about everything, especially about my decision to come to see her and talk to her. because had I not done that, maybe we wouldn't have been sitting together and talking it out. Obviously, just trying to talk it out is not going to solve all our problems, and we acknowledged that as well. I told her that she had really hurt me with whatever she had said the other day while we were fighting, and she told me that she knew and she explained to me that her family had been counting on her and while trying to think about them. She had unintentionally sidelined me.

And that had become a problem in the recent past because she was constantly trying to look out for their feelings and not hurt them, but in the process, I was getting pushed to the corner and she realized that now. So we addressed that as well, and after talking about it for a bit, she told me that she felt a lot of pressure on her from her family all the time, and she felt like she constantly had to make sure that she did not hurt them, even if it came at the cost of being honest with them. If she was being honest, she could see my point, even while she was fighting with me, but she just did not want to admit it because that would mean saying no to her family. Even with the topic of children and stuff, it was the same thing, she just couldn't be honest with

them because she didn't want to hurt them. And they were not the kind of family who took these things lightly either since you guys already know that they had also fought with Kathy because she had gone back on her word. But she had to stand her ground because otherwise, she would have lost me, and now that things have come to a stage where her family's stubbornness is affecting our marriage, we decided that it was time to deal with it and let them know that they cannot push their boundaries constantly. So we have decided that she's going to speak to her family and sort things out with them, and in the meantime, I'm going to be looking for couples counseling because I think we could do better with it. A lot of my friends have also suggested it to me since it's

very obvious that I really want to make it work with Kathy because we have been together for a long time, and this is the first major snag that we have hit, so I believe that we can still make it work since it hasn't been something very extreme. I know this decision might not sit well with a lot of people, but I think our marriage is worth giving a chance because I've known Kathy for the longest time and I know what kind of person she is. So I'm confident that I'm doing the right thing, and of course, after she's done speaking to her family, things are going to change for the better on that front as well. Update 2. Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for all the comments and support on my last update, it was really nice.

Like I had said, Kathy, and I decided to sort out our differences, so I moved back in and we are going to go back to how we used to live. Of course, we are still going to go for couples counseling, as soon as we find somebody who suits our needs. We are in the process of looking right now, but decided to rip the Band-Aid off a couple of days ago with her family. Unfortunately, it did not go well, but it went exactly as I had expected it to go. Kathy went by herself to go visit them, so she could speak with them in person because we didn't think that my being there was going to help the situation and might even make them even more upset. She was with her family for almost two hours and when she came back, she looked exhausted and really upset, so I knew that things hadn't gone down well.

Kathy told me that as soon as she had told them that she wanted them to not push their boundaries with her constantly because it made both of us really uncomfortable, and after our recent fight, it was clear that it had been affecting our marriage as well, they started freaking out at her and bad-mouthing me as well. They thought that I was being selfish and narcissistic by making it seem like they were the problem, even though they were just acting like her family and relying on their daughter. And when Kathy tried to defend me, they started going off on her as well, saying that she had been brainwashed by me, and didn't even know what she was saying. They just kept talking in circles and arguing until Kathy gave up and told them that she had decided what she wanted, and it was for them to back off and not constantly over-involved themselves in her life and not take offense just because she couldn't bend over backward for them. Her family got really upset, and they told her that they were going to maintain the boundaries by not speaking to her at all. all from now on because it was obvious that she and I were way too sensitive and self-centered to care about them or their feelings. After that, Kathy left because there was no point in speaking to them anymore, and the family meeting was done and dusted. But she's not entirely unhappy

with how things turned out, because even though it did not go well, at least she stood up for herself and spoke her mind, so we are pretty proud of her for that. And now, if her family decides not to speak to her, it's their loss and not hers. She has always prioritized them whenever she can, and tried to be there for her family, but if they can't see that then I guess we really know who are the real self-centered people here. Update 3. Hi, guys. So it has been three months since Kathy and I started marriage counseling and it has been going pretty well so far. We are communicating more and trying to understand each other, and even when we have petty arguments, we sort it out immediately because we don't allow things to build up. Her family has still not spoken to her after

that last update, but I guess they're going to reach out to us pretty soon since Kathy recently discovered that she is pregnant. We haven't made any announcement yet because it's pretty early on in the pregnancy and we want to wait it out until we start telling people. Only really close friends of ours know about it and we trust them because we know they're not going to tell anybody else. In case after we announce the pregnancy, her family doesn't reach out to us, it's all well and good. But if they do, both Kathy and I have decided that we are going to have to tell them to back off until Kathy herself is ready to speak to them and sort out the differences. And that's not going to be possible while she is pregnant, so they're going to have to wait

until after the baby is born and possibly even longer. Because she is not a doormat for them, and since they have not bothered to reach out to her so far, they're going to have to wait for her to be ready if they want to have any sort of relationship with their grandkid. However, keeping all of that aside, Kathy and I have never been happier because, even though we haven't been planning for it, it happened organically and at the right time. Of course, we were really stressed out when we found out, but after a couple of days, we came to terms with it, and we were even happy. I don't know if it had anything to do with our renewed faith in our marriage, but for some reason, even though we were.

not ready until a couple of months ago, we felt ready now. Or maybe I guess it's just easier to deal with things when people are not constantly pushing you to deal with it. But whatever the case is, Kathy and I are really happy, and we are looking forward to this new chapter of our life. I hope you enjoy this story. The tormentor turned into my buddy and I gifted her a parenting guide as a joke, but it inadvertently revealed her secret relationship with my spouse's pal. This sparked a conflict within the family, and she being cut from the will. My husband Charlie, 26M, my sister-in-law Cheryl, 28F, and I, 26F, all went to high school together and that's how we know each other.

Charlie and I were obviously in the same year and are pretty much high school sweethearts. We started dating in our sophomore year and have been together since then. With Cheryl, well, it's been different. I would like to say that we are high school nemesis since she's always hated me and the feelings have been mutual. She was two years older than us so she was a senior, but that did not stop her from being a total jerk to me at all times. She was a nasty bully in high school and I would like to say that she has not changed since then. Unfortunately, for her, I was the only kid who could actually stand up to her back in high school. Everybody else was

scared to even speak to her because she and her clique of friends were known for doing nasty things to anybody who decided to go against them and they would spread rumors or do things so mean that some people had even changed. Schools because of them. I'm not even kidding, they were that bad. However, since I had always been friends with her brother, I was not afraid to stand up to her. Even before I started dating Charlie, we had been really good friends, and I would go over to his place all the time. So Cheryl did not seem like some undefeatable entity to me, she just seemed like another kid. I think that's the way it should have been for everyone, but I don't know, man, high school is weird. Anyway, I was not scared of her and after I started dating Charlie,

I got even more bold. She had no authority over me even in her senior year when most people were terrified of her, and I guess the fact that I was challenging her status was not really good for her back then and she ended up doing something really horrible to me. One morning in high school, I just opened my locker like I usually do and a bunch of fish water and dead fish fell on me and I was covered in all that disgusting slimy crap from head to toe. It was really embarrassing and humiliating and I had to go home that day because I was so upset. I couldn't trace it back to Cheryl, but I knew that it had to be her because just the other day, before that incident, we had a really nasty verbal fight in the cafeteria and I'd called her a brain dead zombie in front of her own friends and some of them had actually chuckled. So obviously, that could not go unanswered and she did that to me. Even Charlie knew that it had to be his sister and because of that incident, they also ended up getting into a big fight and even though he wasn't able to get her to apologize to me, he was at least able to get her to back off. Because after that incident, she and I just

never spoke to each other again, and even though he and I had been together for so long, things have been the same way. However, last year, Charlie and I ended up getting married, and a few weeks after the wedding, my in-laws told me and Cheryl that they knew that we had had our differences in the past, but now that we were family, we had to make more of an effort to be good to each other. Because everybody had noticed how we don't speak to each other or even look at each other during events and, some nosy relatives had been questioning them about it, and it was very embarrassing to tell them the truth, so they wanted us to at least try and get along. I was willing to put things in the past since it's been a long time since high school ended and I think it's about time that we moved on. So I told them that I was fine with it and we shook on it, like adults do. But it was not like we were going to become best friends overnight, so we decided to be at least cordial to each other at events instead of just giving each other the cold shoulder like we usually did before that. And for the past year, ever since we had that discussion with my in-laws,

things have been going pretty well. Whenever we would meet each other, we would greet one another, and then move on with our day. I really thought that we had agreed to put our bad blood in the past. But she pulled something really mean again this year, a couple of months ago, on my birthday of all days. She showed up empty-handed at my birthday, which was fine, but then while I was unwrapping everybody's presence, she announced that she was actually giving me cooking lessons and sent me an online program that she had purchased at the party itself, and said that it was supposed to be a joke,

but I didn't laugh and neither did anybody else. For context, it was incredibly insulting because I had done all the cooking for the day by myself. Even though I'm not a professional chef, I've always loved being in the kitchen and cooking up new things. It's been a hobby of mine ever since I was a child and her saying that she was going to give me cooking lessons right after she had an entire meal that had been made all by me and everyone knew that since Charlie had announced it, so that was just really mean. I had put in a lot of hard work and had been up since six in the morning that day to make sure that everything was perfect so I really took that to heart.

Even after she clarified that it was a joke, nobody really seemed to laugh and some people just forced out a chuckle so she would drop it, but she just went on and on about it. She kept saying that she was just joking, but she really believed that I needed cooking lessons because everything that she had eaten that day was making her feel queasy and she felt like she was going to throw up any moment and kept joking about how everybody needed to clear the way to the washroom in case she needed to barf. By the end of the evening, she had been getting on my last nerve, and I was very relieved when she finally left. She didn't even bother to say goodbye after she had spent the entire day making jokes at the expense of my cooking skills, which are not even that bad.

Charlie told me that everything that I had made was really delicious and so did everybody else, so I don't even know what she was on about. Anyway, I had actually started to believe that she might turn out to be a decent human being after all, but after my birthday, I made up my mind that I was going to go back to ignoring her once again since she was clearly still stuck in her high school mean girl mode and somebody like her did not deserve to be on good terms with me. Now, last week, she celebrated her birthday and even though we're not getting along right now, she had to invite me because I had invited her to my party and it would be really weird if Charlie went and I did not. So just for the sake of keeping the peace of the family, she invited me and it turned out to be a big mistake because I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine and gave her this book.

I gave her what to expect when you're expecting, a classic, based on a conversation that I had overheard a couple of weeks back. For context, three weeks ago, Cheryl had showed up at our house and she seemed like she was pretty devastated and insisted that she wanted to speak to Charlie in private. So I cleared out while she and her brother were having a conversation in the living room but she didn't know that I was standing right outside and I was trying to eavesdrop on their conversation. Yeah, I know it's not ethical or whatever but I was really curious to know what was going on and I just couldn't wait for her to go and then Charlie would tell me everything. So I just decided to try and overhear what they were talking about and I learned that Cheryl was pregnant and she did not go into the details, but she was really worried because she did not feel ready to have a baby yet and she had come to her brother to seek advice.

He told her that even if she didn't feel ready for it, she had to talk about this to her husband, and if, even after that, she felt like she was not ready then they could always have the pregnancy terminated since it was still in the early stages. But he thought that speaking to her husband might help her calm down and deal with things better, so he comforted her for a bit and then, she left. After she had left, I spoke to Charlie about whatever I had heard, and both of us agreed that she had been acting really weird. Because even if she was not ready to have a baby, it did not make any sense for her to come to us. And she had been saying certain things that almost felt like she wanted Charlie's help in terminating the pregnancy in secret. But he was not going to do something. so underhanded since he believed that her husband deserved to know before she did anything.

Don't get it wrong, ultimately the decision is the woman's but she was married, and we felt like her husband deserves to at least know. Anyway, since then, we had not heard anything with regard to her pregnancy, but I decided to play a little prank on her and give her that book. She did not unwrap the presents in front of all the guests at the party, thankfully, but it didn't matter because that book really got her into trouble and now, there is a chance that her husband might end up leaving her. The day after her birthday, she called me up in tears and said that I had ruined her life and accused me of sabotaging her marriage on purpose, but I had no idea what she was talking about. I couldn't even get her to tell me what was going on because she was just so

angry that she kept yelling at me and after she was done, she hung up without another word. And after that phone call, my in-laws called me and they told me exactly what had happened. Apparently, she had been unwrapping all the gifts with her husband. And then that book had come up and I had even written a note and attached it to the book, saying that Charlie and I wanted to congratulate her. She hadn't announced the pregnancy or anything yet, but I just wanted to be mean to her and mess with her like she had messed with me on my birthday. I really had no idea that it would lead to such serious repercussions.

That one book had led to a huge fight because apparently, what I did not know was that her husband was sterile, and there was no way that she had gotten pregnant by him so now, I think that she might have been cheating. And her husband had already been suspecting her and that book just strengthened his doubts. Now, nobody in the family knows if she had actually been cheating or not, but honestly, who are we kidding? If he is biologically incapable of having children, there is no way that she is not cheating. Anyway, that's none of my business. All I know is that she had come to Charlie and had expected him to help her out with terminating the pregnancy in secret. And now we finally know why she was so panicky when she spoke to

Charlie and why she wanted to get it done secretly since she's a housewife and whatever she spends, it can be traced by her husband. She obviously couldn't let that happen if she wanted to terminate the pregnancy without him knowing. Even withdrawing cash would be suspicious because it would still be a significant amount of money that would lead to questions. Anyway, Cheryl tried really hard to convince her husband that I was just kidding, and there was nothing going on, and the book was just a prank. But he refused to believe it because he did not think that Charlie and I would make a joke like this, and there definitely had to be something to it.

So he asked Cheryl to leave and now she is living with her parents. My in-laws called me because they wanted me to speak to her husband and convince him that I had just given her that book to mess with her and convince her husband to talk to her and come back because he had already been suspecting her of cheating. And now, her faithfulness had been pushed even more into question. They believed that this is my fault and that I shouldn't have done what I did, but I don't believe that. So my in-laws and I have been at odds for the past week. I think that I was perfectly justified in doing what I did because of the way she had behaved at my birthday party. I really had no idea that it would lead to such drama, so I don't think I can take the fall for that.

If she didn't want trouble in her marriage, she probably should have just stayed loyal to her husband. I don't think it's fair to blame me for that and Charlie feels the same way. He does think that the gift was a tad bit too much, compared to what happened at my birthday party, but either way, he doesn't think that I need to apologize to Cheryl or even speak to her husband about any of this. My in-laws kept arguing with us, telling us that we needed to fix the situation. because her marriage was at stake, and if we didn't convince her husband that this was just a joke, they might end up getting divorced and that's not going to be good for the family. But I believe that if she had actually been pregnant when she came to speak to Charlie that day,

and her husband is sterile, she had definitely been cheating. And if that's the case, we don't want to defend her and get involved in any capacity. Besides, the book was just payback for the jokes that she cracked on my birthday and I had no idea that it would lead to something like this, so it's not like I did anything on purpose and I have nothing to be sorry for. But all of them are acting like I'm the villain, the mastermind who had this entire evil plan in mind to destroy her on purpose or something. This is really weird in now, I'm doubting my decisions. Ida for giving my Silla book on pregnancy on her birthday?

Update 1, hi, so it's been two weeks since I gave Cheryl that book, and up until now, we have been refusing to speak to her husband, and we are going to stick to doing that in the future. as well. Because from what we know, she had actually been cheating on her husband with another man, I'm not sure who, but I think it's somebody from high school. And what's worse, I think it's somebody from Charlie's friend's circle because a couple of days ago, we had a conversation, or rather, an argument with Cheryl on the phone and she said that it was very unfair that she was being held responsible for all of this. But Charlie's friend was equally responsible, and yet, he was not getting any flack and was even refusing to stand up for her. Charlie has quite a lot of married friends from high school,

so we don't exactly know who she's talking about right now, but that's not even our biggest problem. My in-laws are being very difficult to deal with. They keep insisting that I need to talk to her husband before he files for divorce, which I don't think he has done yet. He just keeps saying that he'll do it, but if he really wants to separate, he should have done it already. I don't understand what he's waiting for, but anyway, they think that they still have time and if I just talk to him, I might be able to convince him not to leave her and I was just playing a prank.

But I have refused to let myself be dragged into all of this drama since I don't have anything to do with it. I just want to sit back and relax, but they have been making it very difficult for us. So yesterday, we had to make a very tough decision and finally block all three of them because they had been bothering us a little too much. and it's about to be two weeks, we can't keep talking to them and trying to make them understand where we are coming from. I know a lot of people in the section of my original thought that it was not nice of me to do what I did, but she was literally a bully to me in high school. I don't think I have to feel bad for what I did to her. And she had been cheating, but anyway, it's a free country and people are allowed to disagree with me. Update 2, hi, so it's been three days since our last update and we were finally able to figure out who she had been

having that affair with. This friend of Charlie that she had been referring to turned out to be one of his closest friends, so this is quite unexpected. Charlie had been venting to his friends about how difficult things had been for him for the past two weeks because his family was being very unreasonable right now and I guess his friend just couldn't take it anymore and decided to confess everything. He contacted Charlie and told him that he had been having an affair and apparently all of this started about one year ago, around the time of our wedding. It was quite shocking for us, and we are still struggling to process this because Charlie is really close to all of his friends and a betrayal like this was something we had never expected. This friend of his

has been married for three years and from whatever we have observed, he and his wife seemed to be really in love. I know the woman personally, she can't stop talking about her husband and now I just really feel bad for her. So we immediately decided to cut him off and we are not telling anybody about any of this right now, since we didn't want to fame him, but we are definitely not going to entertain this anymore. We even advised him to come clean to his wife instead of us because she's the one who really deserves to know the truth. Nobody should ever have to go through something like this. He also sent us proof of Cheryl cheating on her husband with him and we have come to the conclusion that we were right to not let ourselves get dragged into this drama.

Nothing good would come out of it for us, at least. So we're keeping them blocked and that's going to be our final call. From what we know, they have not spoken to any else about this, and everybody's still assuming that we are on good terms with my in-laws and Charlie's relatives seem to know nothing of the drama that's going on behind the scenes. I'm guessing that they're keeping things under wraps because this entire situation is pretty embarrassing for the family and they don't want to ruin their reputation. I guess that's a really shallow reason, but I actually appreciate the fact that they are so concerned about how people perceive them, since it's helping us in keeping all of this quiet because we don't really want to

deal with other people right now. We have enough on our plates as it is. One of his cousins is getting married in a few weeks, so they're going to have to attend that wedding, given the current situation. We don't know if my in-laws or Cheryl are going to be there, but if they do choose to attend, boy, it's going to be really weird for everybody involved. Update 3, hey, so this update is coming almost two months after my last. Nothing interesting really happened in these past two months. After we blocked my in-laws, we sort of forgot about them. There was no news from their end either and they did not try to get in touch with us after we blocked them. There was no pregnancy announcement and no announcement of a divorce either. So we assumed that maybe Cheryl and her

husband had been able to talk things through and patch things up. Good for them, I guess. We don't really care about what's going on in their marital life because both Charlie and I know that cheating never goes undiscovered forever, and when her husband finally finds out the truth, she definitely get what she deserves. And about the pregnancy, I guess she had terminated the pregnancy somehow. Anyway, whatever happened, it was not our concern so we did not bother ourselves with it and stuck to our own business until a couple of days ago when we met his family at his cousin's wedding. All of them were in attendance, including my in-laws, Cheryl, and her husband as well. Once we were there, we did not even greet each other and pretended like the others did not even exist,

and obviously, the rest of the family picked up on it immediately. So they realized that something bad had happened and immediately, people started asking us all sorts of questions. They tried to be subtle about it, but we knew that they were trying to get to know what the gossip was. However, we did not entertain anybody and just tried to keep to ourselves so that nobody would bother us. But Cheryl did not take the same approach as us and decided to blab her mouth off, in spite of knowing that we knew the truth. We were going to be there in the hotel for three days and it was only a matter of time until we went home, so we were ready to tolerate her, but she started saying such horrible things about us

that we couldn't help but confront her about it and, unfortunately, that led to a very public showdown between our families at the rehearsal dinner. I regret the fact that it happened because it was somebody else's wedding and Charlie and his cousin were on good terms but now, it's because of us that one of the events got completely ruined. Of course, after that kind of scene, we could not stay any longer and had to leave before the wedding even took place. We have since apologized to her several times and she has said that she is cool with it and stuff, but we still feel really bad about what happened. And then, on the other hand, there is Cheryl and my in-laws who did not even bother to apologize to Charlie's

cousin, even after being the one who is actually responsible for creating all of this drama. At least we left of our own accord, they had literally been asked to leave by the other members of the family after we left. Serves them right, they deserve this sort of humiliation. When Charlie's cousin told him about it the day before her wedding, while we were apologizing to her on the phone, it was quite satisfying for both of us. The reason we even had ended up in a fight was because she had been telling all the relatives and anybody who would listen to her that apparently, we had tried to ruin her marriage by telling her husband lies about how she had been cheating and stuff, but we had been unsuccessful in trying to sabotage her marriage. Obviously,

that was not true because, like we said, we don't care about what goes on in her marital life since her husband had proven how stupid he is by choosing to stay with a woman like that. We were even willing to let that slide because we were attending somebody else's wedding and we did not want to throw a tantrum. But then, she started claiming that we were the ones who had an open marriage and I wanted to build a relationship with her husband, which is why I'd always been so jealous of her. That was something that we could not tolerate so we decided to confront her and on the evening of the rehearsal dinner, I brought up all the proof, the screenshots that we had received from Charlie's friend, which I had been keeping to myself for so long but now. Charlie and I thought that it was

finally time to defend myself since she couldn't just say what she wanted and get away with. with it. Now, her husband finally knows the truth and can no longer deny it and whether or not he is going to make the right choice for himself and leave her as his call, but at least now there's going to be nobody doubting us anymore. And at least we had the decency to live on our own and did not have to be thrown out like they did. It was just a really bad couple of days, but we are trying to get over it. Now, the entire family knows what kind of person Cheryl is and I just feel pity for her husband because he had chosen to patch up with her, but even that was pointless. Now, I really hope he finds the courage to leave, and if he chooses to stay with her then that

just means that he has absolutely no self-respect or dignity of his own. She had been accusing us of sabotaging her marriage for so long, we finally decided to go ahead and do it and now, she's going to have to face the consequences of trying to go out of her way to bully us. I don't know how she expected to get away with all of this, Charlie and I had literally been standing up to her since high school and I think we have made it very clear that we're not afraid of her. So we were not going to back down now either. She should have known that. Update 4. So, it's happening. It's been two weeks since we came back from Charlie's cousin's wedding and today, I finally heard from a couple of relatives that Cheryl had posted that she and her husband

were getting divorced. She has asked everybody to respect their privacy at this difficult time in her life and has said that it's a mutual decision to part ways. What a load of baloney, I don't understand why she's acting like people were not present at the wedding and literally her entire family is not aware of what actually happened and the real reason why they're getting divorced. We will certainly be respecting her privacy. I don't think anybody needs to ask her what has happened because we all know already. Even her friends have been able to find out because Charlie decided to tell some of his friends and then, that's how the gossip started. We don't even regret what we did. We don't even regret what we did, because she had been talking so much crap about us in the past.

I don't think that we even need to feel sorry about what we did or for her. If she is going to go low, we are going to go lower. Period. She has always been a big bully and I think we are doing the right thing because somebody needed to take her down a peg and we were glad to be able to do that. If that makes us the bad guys for some people, that's fine with us. For instance, my in-laws have decided to cut us out of their life completely and have even communicated that to Charlie, by having their lawyer contact him and say that they have decided

to go no contact with us and are probably going to be cutting us out of the inheritance too. As if we're going to hear that and immediately start begging for forgiveness. That's not going to happen. We are not sellouts who can be bought with money and besides, they really should keep all their money to themselves since they are going to have to support their daughter now. Probably for the rest of their lives seeing how she hasn't worked since she graduated and has been relying on either her parents or her husband. So yeah, by all means, they can keep their money and Cheryl with themselves. We did what we thought was right and we are not going to act like we're sorry for it. Charlie and I are perfectly content with our lives at the moment and we don't care about

anybody else. I hope you enjoy this story. Brought up my stepchild, but when she became pregnant, she declared that I wasn't her biological mother and mentioned that her child would have a genuine mother unlike herself, so I distanced myself. Off all financial support from my side. I met David when I was 32 and he was 35, and his daughter Emma was nine years old at the time. Emma's biological mother had left when she was just four, and David told me she had struggled with addiction and mental health issues that made it impossible for her to care for Emma properly. David had full custody and Emma rarely saw her biological mother, maybe once or twice a year for supervised visits that often ended in disappointment when her mother didn't show up.

When David and I started dating, I was careful not to push myself into Emma's life too quickly because I knew how hard it could be for children to accept a new person in their parents' life. I had never been married before and didn't have children of my own, but I had always wanted to be a mother and I found myself drawn to both David and Emma from the very beginning. Emma was quiet and shy at first, but she was also curious and intelligent, and I could see she was hungry for attention and stability that she hadn't always had. David and I took things slowly for about six months before I started spending more time at their house and getting involved in Emma's daily routine. I helped with homework and packed lunches and drove her to soccer practice and lessons,

and gradually Emma started to warm up to me and accept me as part of her life. David and I got married when Emma was 11, and by that time she had started calling me mom without me ever asking her to, which made me feel like I had finally found my purpose in life. I loved her like she was my own child and I wanted to give her all the stability and love she had missed in her early years. I attended every school event and parent-teacher conference, helped with science fair projects and book reports, taught her how to cook and do laundry and manage money, and was there for every scraped knee and broken heart and teenage drama that came up over the years. David worked long hours as an engineer and traveled frequently for work, so I was often the one handling the day-to-day parenting responsibilities, and I loved every minute of it even when it was exhausting

and challenging. Emma and I developed a close relationship over the years, and she confided in me about everything from friend drama to boy troubles to her fears about the future. I helped her through her first heartbreak when she was 15, supported her when she wanted to quit piano to focus on soccer, and spent countless hours helping her with college applications and scholarship essays during her senior year of high school. When she got accepted to the state university with a partial academic scholarship, I was so proud I cried, and I felt like all the hard work and love I had invested in her over the years had been worth it. Emma studied business in college and did well academically, though she struggled sometimes with anxiety and self-doubt that I think

stemmed from her early childhood experiences with her biological mother. I made sure she had access to counseling services at school and checked in with her regularly to make sure she was taking care of herself and not getting overwhelmed with coursework and social pressures. David and I visited her at school several times each semester and she came home for holidays and summer breaks, and our relationship remained strong and close throughout her college years. After Emma graduated, she moved back home for a few months while she looked for a job, and during that time she met Sean at a friend's party. Sean was a few years older than Emma and worked at a company, and he seemed like a nice enough young man though I sometimes felt like he was a bit immature.

and not quite ready for a serious relationship. But Emma fell hard for him right away, and within six months they were talking about moving in together and getting engaged, which made me nervous because I thought they were rushing things and didn't really know each other well enough yet. Emma found a job at a financial planning firm and moved in with Sean after about eight months of dating,

and I tried to be supportive even though I had some concerns about their relationship dynamics. Sean seemed to have a lot of influence over Emma's decisions and opinions, and I noticed she started changing some of her values and priorities to align with his, which worried me because she had always been such an independent and strong-willed person. David and I invited them for dinner regularly and tried to maintain a good relationship with both of them, but I could tell Emma was pulling away from us somewhat as she became more serious with Sean. When Emma was 24, she called me one evening to tell me she was pregnant,

and while I was surprised because I knew they weren't married yet and hadn't been planning to start a family so soon, I was also excited about becoming a grandmother and told her how happy I was for them. Emma seemed nervous and uncertain about the pregnancy at first, but she said Sean was thrilled and they were planning to get married before the baby was born, which seemed like the right thing to do even if the timing wasn't ideal. I immediately started thinking about all the ways I could help Emma prepare for motherhood and support her through her pregnancy and the early months with the baby. I had saved money over the years specifically for occasions like this, and I was planning to help them with nursery furniture and baby clothes and whatever else they needed to get

ready for their first child. I started researching cribs and car seats and strollers, and I was looking forward to going shopping with Emma and helping her register for baby gifts and planning a baby shower. About two weeks after Emma told me about the pregnancy, she and Sean came over for Sunday dinner, which had been a tradition in our family for years. Emma seemed different that day, more distant and formal than usual, and I could tell something was bothering her, but I didn't want to push her to talk about it if she wasn't ready. After dinner, while David and Sean were watching football in the living room, Emma asked if she could talk to me privately in the kitchen, and I thought she might want to discuss some concerns about the pregnancy or ask for advice about something. Emma sat down at the kitchen

table and looked at me with an expression I had never seen before. She told me that she and Sean had been talking about the baby and their future together, and they had decided they wanted to make sure their child grew up knowing the truth about their family relationships and not being confused about who their real relatives were. I didn't understand what she meant at first, so I asked her to explain what she was talking about. Emma took a deep breath and told me that she appreciated everything I had done for her over the years, but she wanted me to understand that I wasn't her real mother and never had been, and now that she was going to be a mother herself. She wanted to make sure her child understood the difference between biological family and chosen family.

She said her baby would have a real mother, unlike her, and she didn't want there to be any confusion about my role in their lives going forward. I couldn't breathe for a moment, and I asked Emma what she meant by saying her baby would have a real mother unlike her. Emma explained that she had been thinking a lot about her own childhood and how confusing it had been to have me acting like her mother when I wasn't really her mother, and she had decided that she didn't want to put her own child through that same experience. She said she and Sean wanted to be very clear about family boundaries and make sure their child knew exactly who their biological parents were and who was just a step-relative.

I tried to stay calm and asked Emma if she was saying that all the years I had spent raising her and caring for her and being there for her didn't matter because I wasn't her biological mother. Emma said that of course it mattered and she was grateful for everything I had done, but that didn't change the fact that I wasn't her real mother and she didn't want her child to be confused about that distinction. She said she had talked to Sean about it extensively, and they both agreed that it was important to be honest about family relationships from the beginning. I felt tears starting to form in my eyes and I asked Emma if this meant she didn't consider me her mother anymore, and she said that I had been like a mother to her, but I wasn't actually her mother, and now that she was going to be a real mother herself, she understood the difference. She said she hoped I would still want to be involved in her child's life as David's wife and Emma's stepmother, but she wanted to make sure everyone understood their proper roles and relationships. The conversation continued for another 20 minutes or so,

with Emma explaining her position and me trying to understand how the daughter I had raised and loved for 15 years could suddenly decide that our relationship didn't count as real because we weren't biologically related. Emma kept emphasizing that she wasn't trying to hurt me and that she appreciated everything I had done, but she also kept repeating that I wasn't her real mother and her child would be lucky to have a real mother from the beginning unlike her. When we rejoined David and Sean in the living room, I could barely hold myself together, and David could tell something was wrong, but I didn't want to cause a scene in front of Sean, so I waited until after they left to tell him what Emma had said.

David was shocked and angry and couldn't believe Emma would say such hurtful things to me after everything I had done for her over the years. That night I couldn't sleep and kept replaying the conversation with Emma over and over in my mind. I thought about all the times Emma had called me mom and told me she loved me and came to me for comfort and advice, and I couldn't reconcile those memories with the cold, dismissive way she had spoken to me that evening. I wondered if Sean had influenced her thinking about this, or if she had always felt this way and just hidden it from me. Over the next few days, I kept waiting for Emma to call and apologize or explain that she had been having a bad day and didn't mean what she said, but no call came. David tried to talk to her,

but she stood by everything she had said and insisted that she was just being honest. about family relationships and didn't understand why we were making such a big deal out of it. She said she still loved me and wanted me to be part of her life, but she wanted to be clear about boundaries and roles, especially now that she was going to be a mother. I realized that Emma's attitude toward me had fundamentally changed and wasn't going to change back, and I had to decide how to respond to this new reality. I had always been the one who handled most of the financial support for Emma's needs and wants, from school supplies and clothes when she was younger to help with college expenses and giving her money for emergencies or special occasions.

David contributed too, but I had been the one managing most of the day-to-day financial decisions regarding Emma, and I had saved a significant amount of money over the years specifically to help her with major life events like getting married and having children. I had already started making plans to help Emma and Sean financially with baby-related expenses, and I had been looking forward to being the kind of grandmother who could spoil her grandchild and help make their lives easier in whatever ways I could. I had imagined taking Emma shopping for maternity clothes and baby furniture, hosting a baby shower, setting up a college fund for the baby, and being actively involved in providing financial support throughout the child's life. But after Emma's declaration that I wasn't her real mother and her baby would have a real mother unlike her, I started to question whether I should continue providing financial support for someone who had made it clear that she didn't consider our relationship to be real or meaningful beyond the legal step relationship. I thought about all the money I had spent on Emma over the years, from everyday expenses to major purchases, and how I had always been happy to do it because I considered her my daughter and wanted to give her everything I could.

I decided that if Emma wanted to draw clear boundaries between biological family and chosen family, then she should be prepared to live with the consequences of those boundaries. If I wasn't her real mother, then I shouldn't be expected to provide the kind of financial support that real mothers typically provide to their children. If she wanted to make it clear that I was just David's wife and her stepmother, then perhaps I should limit my involvement to whatever level she thought was appropriate for someone in that role. I talked to David about my decision and he initially tried to convince me to reconsider because he thought I was acting out of hurt feelings and might regret cutting off financial support later. He pointed out that Emma was young and might not fully understand the implications of what she was saying, and that she might come to her senses after the baby was born and she realized how much she needed our support.

But I explained to David that this wasn't about revenge or punishment. It was about respecting the boundaries that Emma had established and responding appropriately to her redefinition of our relationship. I told David that I had spent 15 years pouring my love and resources into Emma because I considered her my daughter, but if she didn't see our relationship that way, then I needed to adjust my expectations and behavior accordingly. I said that I would still be polite and cordial to Emma and would treat her the way I would treat any other young woman who was married to someone in my extended family, but I wasn't going to

continue acting like her mother if she didn't want me to be her mother. David eventually understood my perspective, though he was still hoping that Emma would realize her mistake and apologize, which would allow us to return to our previous family dynamic. I told him that I hoped that would happen too, but I couldn't continue to invest emotionally and financially in someone who had explicitly rejected the relationship I thought we had. I said that if Emma wanted to rebuild our relationship on different terms in the future, I would be open to that conversation, but for now I needed to protect myself from further hurt and disappointment. I called my bank and canceled the automatic transfers I had been making to a savings account earmarked for Emma's future needs, and I also

canceled plans to purchase baby furniture and other items I had been planning to buy for the nursery. I didn't announce these changes to Emma or make a big production out of it. I simply stopped doing the things I had been doing to provide financial support and assistance with various expenses and purchases. The first time Emma noticed the change was about two weeks later when she called to ask if I could help her and Sean with a deposit for a larger apartment they wanted to rent before the baby was born. I told her that I wouldn't be able to help with that expense,

and when she asked why, I explained that since she had made it clear that I wasn't her real mother, I had decided to limit my financial involvement to whatever level was appropriate for someone in my actual role as her stepmother. Emma seemed surprised and upset and said she hadn't expected me. to react this way to their conversation about family boundaries. She said she thought I would understand that drawing clear distinctions between biological and step relationships didn't mean she loved me less or wanted me to be less involved in her life.

I told Emma that I did understand her position and I was simply responding to it in a logical way, because if I wasn't her real mother then I shouldn't be expected to provide the kind of financial support that real mothers typically provide. Emma asked if I was punishing her for being honest about our relationship, and I explained that I wasn't punishing anyone, I was just adjusting my behavior to match the boundaries she had established. I said that if she wanted me to be involved in her life as a stepmother,

then I would be involved at whatever level seemed appropriate for that relationship, but I wasn't going to continue acting like her mother if she didn't want me to fill that role. The conversation became tense and Emma accused me of being petty and vindictive, which hurt because I had tried to explain that my decision was based on logic rather than emotion. I told Emma that I wasn't trying to hurt her and I hoped she would be happy and successful in her life, but I also needed to protect myself from the confusion and pain that came from continuing to act like her mother when she had explicitly told me I wasn't her real mother.

Emma hung up the phone without resolving anything, and over the next few weeks she tried several times to get David to convince me to change my mind about providing financial support. David explained my reasoning to her but also encouraged her to apologize and tried to repair our relationship, which Emma refused to do because she said she hadn't done anything wrong by being honest about family relationships. As Emma's pregnancy progressed, there were several other occasions when she reached out for financial help with various expenses related to preparing for the baby, and each time I politely declined and reminded her that I was limiting my involvement to whatever seemed appropriate for a stepmother rather than a mother.

Emma became increasingly frustrated with this response and started complaining to David that I was being unreasonable and cruel by withdrawing support when she needed it most. David found himself caught in the middle of our conflict and tried to mediate by suggesting compromises that might satisfy both of us, but Emma refused to acknowledge that her comments about real mothers had been hurtful or inappropriate. And I refused to continue providing financial support for someone who had explicitly rejected our parent-child relationship. David eventually stopped trying to mediate and told Emma that she needed to work things out with me directly if she wanted to change the situation. Emma's biological mother had been absent

from her life for most of the pregnancy, which was typical of their relationship pattern over the years. Emma had tried to reconnect with her biological mother a few times during her teens and early 20s, but these attempts usually ended in disappointment when her mother failed to follow through on promises or showed up intoxicated to plan meetings. I had always been supportive of Emma's desire to have a relationship with her biological mother, even though it sometimes meant dealing with the emotional aftermath when those attempts failed. About two months before Emma's due date, her biological mother contacted her and expressed interest in being involved with the baby, which seemed to reinforce Emma's belief that

biological relationships were more important and meaningful than chosen relationships. Emma started talking about how excited she was that her child would have a real grandmother through her biological mother, and she seemed to think this validated her decision to draw clear boundaries between biological and step-family members. But I knew from years of experience that Emma's biological mother was unreliable and would likely disappoint Emma and potentially harm the baby if she was given access to them. But since I was no longer in the role of mother or advisor, I didn't feel it was my place to warn Emma about the potential problems with relying on her biological mother for support and guidance.

Emma gave birth to a healthy baby boy in early spring, and David, and I visited the hospital to meet our new grandchild. Emma seemed happy to see us and was proud to show off the baby, but there was still tension in our relationship and she made several comments about how wonderful it was that her son would have a real grandmother through her biological mother. I held the baby and congratulated Emma and Sean, but I kept my visit brief because I could feel the emotional strain of the situation. Over the next few months, Emma's biological mother did become more involved in her life and with the baby, but as I had expected, this involvement was inconsistent and sometimes problematic. Emma's mother would promise to babysit and then cancel at the last minute, or she would show up to visit when she had been drinking, or she would give parenting advice that was outdated or potentially harmful. Emma started to become frustrated with her biological mother's unreliability, but she was reluctant to admit that the relationship wasn't working out the way she had hoped. Meanwhile, Emma continued to struggle financially with the expenses of new parenthood, and she made several more attempts to ask me for help with various baby-related costs.

David was also struggling with the situation because he wanted to be a supportive grandfather but felt caught between his loyalty to me and his desire to help Emma. He started providing some financial assistance to Emma on his own, but he couldn't make up for all the support I had previously provided. Emma began to realize that she had been taking my financial contributions for granted and hadn't fully understood how much I had been helping her over the years. The situation came to a head when Emma's biological mother showed up to babysit one evening while Emma and Sean went out for dinner, and she left the baby alone in the apartment while she went to buy cigarettes. A neighbor heard the baby crying and called the police, who found the infant unattended and contacted Emma and Sean. Emma was horrified and realized that her biological mother couldn't be trusted with her child's safety, but she was also embarrassed about the incident and worried it might affect her custody of the baby. Emma called me the next day, crying and upset, and asked if I would consider helping her find

reliable child care so she could return to work without worrying about her baby's safety. She admitted that her biological mother had turned out to be as unreliable as she had always been, and she said she was starting to understand why I'd been such an important part of her life. for so many years. I listened to her concerns and sympathized with her situation, but I also reminded her that she had established boundaries about our relationship and I was trying to respect those boundaries. Emma asked if we could talk about rebuilding our relationship and finding a way to move forward that would work for both of us.

I told her that I would be willing to have that conversation, but it would need to include an acknowledgement that her comments about real mothers had been hurtful and unfair, and a genuine an apology for dismissing the 15 years I had spent raising and supporting her. Emma was quiet for a long time and then said she needed to think about what I had said. Several weeks passed without any further communication from Emma, and I assumed she had decided not to pursue reconciliation because she wasn't willing to apologize or acknowledge that she had been wrong. David continued to visit Emma and the baby regularly and kept me updated on their well-being,

but he respected my decision not to resume financial support or active involvement until Emma was ready to address the issues between us. Then one evening Emma showed up at our house unannounced, carrying her baby and looking exhausted and overwhelmed. She asked if she could talk to me privately, and we sat in the living room while David went to the kitchen to give us space. Emma told me that she had been thinking about our conversation and about everything that had happened since she announced her pregnancy, and she realized that she had been wrong to dismiss our relationship and the role I had played in her life. Emma said that becoming a mother herself had helped her understand how much love and sacrifice was involved in raising a child,

and she had come to appreciate that biology wasn't the only thing that made someone a real parent. She said that her biological mother had given birth to her, but I was the one who had actually raised her and been there for her through all the important moments of her life. She apologized for hurting me and said she hoped I would consider resuming our relationship as mother and daughter. I told Emma that I appreciated her apology and her willingness to acknowledge that she had been wrong, but I also explained that rebuilding trust would take time and couldn't happen overnight. I said that I had been deeply hurt by her rejection of our relationship and her dismissive comments about real mothers, and while I was glad she had come to understand the

value of what we had shared, I needed to see consistent evidence that she truly valued our relationship before I could fully invest in it again. Emma asked what she could do to prove that she had changed her perspective and really wanted to rebuild our relationship. I told her that actions would be more important than words, and that I would need to see her treating me with the respect and consideration that she would show to someone she truly considered to be her mother. Over the following months, Emma made consistent efforts to include me in her life and her baby's life, asking for my advice on parenting decisions and inviting me to spend time with them regularly. She stopped making comments about biological versus step relationships and started referring to me as her son's

grandmother without any qualifiers. I gradually began to provide limited financial assistance. again, starting with small contributions to help with baby supplies and gradually increasing my involvement as Emma demonstrated that she truly valued our relationship. I was careful not to resume the same level of financial support immediately, because I wanted to make sure that Emma's change of heart was genuine and lasting rather than just a response to her immediate financial needs. The process of rebuilding our relationship took almost a year, but eventually we were able to establish a new dynamic that felt healthy and sustainable for both of us. Emma never again made comments about real versus fake family relationships, and she

consistently treated me with the love and respect I had always hoped for from a daughter. I resumed providing financial support at levels that felt appropriate and comfortable, and I became actively involved in my grandson's life as his grandmother. I hope you enjoy this story. Colleagues began experiencing regular emotional outbursts, then fixated on a male co-worker who turn down their advances, leading them to fabricate allegations of misconduct while monitoring female staff members and making violent threats. Am in lower management in a white-collar workplace. My department has around 25 people total, and I run a small team of around 10 employees.

The work environment is pretty casual, it's common for people to become friends with their coworkers, and people often go out for drinks slash to events after work and socialize. Around six months ago, a woman joined the department. I'll call her Jane. She is not on my team, but we all utilize a shared office space, and she sits directly beside me. Jane is in her 20s, but is very small and thin and is often mistaken as a younger team. Within a month of joining the department, Jane began to have crying episodes at work. The reasons seemed legitimate, death of family members, legal slash housing issues, etc.

The department was very empathetic and did their best to uplift her when she seemed to be suffering. I did not notice at the time, but she began to form a pattern of having crying episodes once every week or two. They were never loud and dramatic, she'd just well up at her desk and start messaging people on Slack asking if they had time to talk. Usually someone, often other women in the department, would take her aside and offer verbal support until she got herself together. I and the others in management often encouraged her to take the rest of the day off, but she always refused, and after being comforted, would return to work completely normally, laughing and joking. About three months ago, Jane developed a huge crush on a man in an adjacent department. She gushed to the other women about how handsome he was, and obsessed over any interaction with him.

He spoke to her in passing maybe twice, and she didn't even know his name, but began to talk about how excited she was to date him, so she could move away from her current situation. This raised some yellow flags, but we collectively shrugged it off as a young person with a big crush. Eventually Jane convinced a coworker to pass the young man her phone number. Unfortunately, he elected not to text her. Jane became unusually agitated and began to loudly complain, at one point she allegedly texted one of her team leads at 9 p.m. complaining that she deserved an explanation and was being ghosted. Her co-workers tried to talk her down, reminding her that the young man may be married, or simply uninterested, but she refused to listen

and continued her loud, public ranting. Jane said that she wanted to look especially hot to make her crush regret ghosting her. She began to imitate some of the younger women in the department, buying dupes of their outfits and accessories, and openly asking where they bought their clothing so she could get the same thing. She heavily fixated on the one Gothic woman in particular, to the point where she would wear copies of her outfits from the day before, like clockwork. The woman she was copying apparently became irritated and began to show up to work in increasingly outlandish body chains and harnesses to shake the copying, and some of the snarkier people began to make bets on whether or not Jane would show up to work in a harness. She did not,

at this point, several people from work went out on a Friday for drinks. Again, the department is very casual, and Jane was invited. During the course of the evening, she allegedly became blackout drunk on two drinks, and railroaded the evening by beginning to cry loudly about her ex-hookup. The sister of a co-worker took her to the restroom, wherein she ranted for at least half an hour about how frustrated she is over her social issues. Apparently, Jane feels that most women hate her because she is so small and slim, and they cannot contain their jealousy. She claimed that most women hate her because their boyfriends won't leave her alone. To take things further, whenever another random woman walked into the bar bathroom, Jane would accost them, weeping, and complain about how cruelly she is treated over her

petite build. She ended up getting kicked out of the bar by 10 p.m. and people spoke for weeks about how awkward the whole evening was. Shortly thereafter, Jane began to publicly levy accusations against her work crush. She claimed that he was stalking her on the work floor, and that he would regularly corner her and stare at her ass whilst making dirty comments. She followed women onto their lunch breaks and messaged them constantly about it. At this point, I had overheard enough, and encouraged Jane to speak to HR. She refused, suddenly claiming the harassment wasn't that big a deal. Over the next couple weeks, people observed her in the same room as the reputed predator, wherein no interaction happened. After which she would return to the department office

and complain about stalking and dirty comments. One of the more egregious situations I personally witnessed involved her walking silently past the man with no interaction, and returning to the team office. When I entered the office minutes later she was huddled over her desk, with two women awkwardly flanking her, as she described in frightening interaction in which she was followed into a dark corner and verbally assaulted with sexualized statements regarding her slender stature. I met with HR shortly after. Described specific overheard lies, and provided time stamps. Our entire facility is peppered with cameras, so I felt fairly confident that HR would investigate and validate my claims. I did make it clear that harassment could have occurred,

and that despite witnessing lies, I didn't want to unfairly assume everything was lies. HR took things seriously and requested a meeting with Jane. During the meeting, Jane doubled down, agreed she was being stalked, and requested that an official investigation be opened. This was her undoing. HR immediately began pulling camera footage from the timestamps I provided, and some of the women Jane had vented to were called in for interviews. From there, whisper spread, and a flood of people began to initiate their own HR meetings.

Apparently her lies were constant and poorly concealed, and people were disturbed. HR requested Jane provide her own time stamps for alleged assaults. Suddenly Jane could not remember the dates, even hazily, and began to openly cry and break down in the office over the stress. She developed vicious migraines that caused her to call out on the days that HR had requested meetings, or claimed that her superiors were overworking her to the point she had no time to meet. As HR pressed on, she began to speak poorly about the HR rep, calling her arrogant and condescending. One morning Jane wrote out a harsh, snappy email belittling the HR representative for not comprehending how busy she, Jane, is, and after sending it, walked her open laptop through the

room showing people how she defended herself. Jane became increasingly paranoid and began to burrow into people she presumed connection with. Two additional women requested meetings over Jane's obsessive and clingy behavior. Besides the outfit copying, she began to intently stare at the women she was close to in the office. I know that staring is an odd thing to get worked up over, but again, Jane sits near me, and I personally witnessed it. Jane would turn her chair and sit silently, with wide open eyes, fixating on someone for up to 30 minutes. It was never an angry stare or menacing.

It was almost as though she weren't aware of her own body, and was visually absorbing the person she was fixated upon. Several time the victim caught her in action and awkwardly waved, and Jane seemed startled, as though unaware that she was visible. I personally observed her covertly following individuals she was fixated on in common areas, shuffling behind corners and near windows, silently staring with wide, wet eyes. It disturbed me but I did not know how to address it to HR without sounding petty. As HR became more aggressive demanding meetings, Jane became more distraught. She had been made aware during her initial meeting that someone had reported her complaints of sexual harassment, and made her personal mission to find the rat. She began to corner coworkers and demand their opinion on her list of suspects.

At one point, she told someone that when she figured out who reported her she would start smashing skulls. People were naturally disturbed, and another rash of HR reports took place. HR abruptly went dark and stopped requesting meetings with Jane. I personally suspect that they were collaborating with the legal department on plans of termination, but the silence was unnerving to the more high-strung people in the department, whose nerves were already frayed. One of the more vulnerable women was followed to her lunch break daily by Jane, and as she snuck out to the common areas, was bombarded with messages begging for girl time.

One lunch break Jane followed the woman out to the common area and allegedly struck her backside with no warning, and claimed she just had to do it. This woman has diagnosed anxiety issues and ended up having several panic attacks at work, and had to call out for a day and a half. She was so frightened of Jane she elected not to report the incident to HR, and instead hit herself as much as possible. Two days after striking the woman, Jane got a tattoo that was similar to one the woman has. It felt like a sick way of marking territory. I requested another HR meeting and shared what I could, but as the primary victim was too frightened to come forward, it was all hearsay and rumors.

I made it clear that people were miserable and afraid, and that Jane is a walking lawsuit. I was told we are just as upset as you and it will be over soon. So here I am now. Leadership has gathered the more vulnerable people around them and begun to have casual group lunches with them, attempting a safety in numbers kind of thing. Women have messaged leadership on Slack asking for escorts on their smoke breaks,

because they are so anxious that Jane may follow them out. Men refuse to interact with Jane without witnesses because they are afraid of being accused of sexual assault. It is tragic and stupid that one 100 pounds woman could turn an entire department on its head. I have a history of mental and physical abuse, and the entire situation is painful. The knowledge that Jane has threatened to smash the rat's skull, and sits directly beside me has brought a lot of paranoia up. I'm no bitch, but I have been pounding liquor after work just to calm down. I am not making the progress I should be in therapy, because my sessions are overtaken with processing Jane.

My wife has expressed concern and dismay over my regression, and I am deeply ashamed. So here we are now. I've been enjoying my weekend, but Monday is looming. I desperately hope that Jane is fired first thing, and am considering threatening to refuse to come in until she is let go. While I don't feel exactly comfortable trying to push the company into a corner, I feel that I am out of options, and I just want it to stop. For both my sake and the vulnerable people in the department. It's Sunday afternoon now, but I will hopefully update soon. Update, hello again, everyone.

A lot of people asked for updates, apologies for the long delay. Things escalated massively and I chose not to update until now, as there were concerns of this becoming a legal issue. Also, I regret using sociopath in my original post. For continuity purposes, I am keeping that as the header of my update, but I now believe that Jane suffers from one or more cluster B personality disorders. I am no doctor, but I personally suspect untreated borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and or narcissistic personality disorder. disability disorder. The CEO came to the workplace and personally fired Jane in front of the entire department and had her arrested immediately after. Then he gave me a promotion, my own labeled parking spot, and a hefty bonus that I used to take a trip to Greece. The day after my wife and I

returned, she discovered that she is pregnant with twins. I announced our pregnancy at the next quarterly meeting, and the entire room burst into applause. Jane is currently serving 10 to 12 years in where they have her on a chain gang breaking rocks along the railroad tracks. Life is really looking up. Obviously none of that happened. But things are better regardless. To start, Jane is no longer employed at the company. Besides some residual stress, the department seems to be doing well overall, and everyone has bounced back more or less. As for the details, I'll try to lay them out briefly and give more detail and comments if anyone has questions. I got a few complaints on my last post for being too wordy, so I'll do my best to keep things shorter this time.

I'll warn everyone, though, it's still going to be pretty long, and unfortunately complicated. One, attempted emitter accusation. Shortly after my first post, Jane fixated on one of the many employees who had reported her to HR, presuming them to be the rat that had started everything. I'll call this employee Sarah. Sarah was one of the women Jane had tried to ingratiate to, and imitated her outfits. After Sarah made her report to HR, she withdrew from Jane and began openly ignore slash avoid her, which apparently hurt Jane's feelings very much, as she was often seen

crying and asking people why Sarah hates her in the break room. Shortly after Sarah withdrew, Jane and one of her relatives in the company began telling employees that Sarah's brother, who often picks her up from work, had attempted to amateur Jane by trying to run her off a bridge while she drove home. They claimed that they were certain that Sarah had put him up to it, as she had been acting shady recently. Two, theft of personal device this is where things become muddled. I'm not exactly sure what happened myself, as most of the information came to me in scraps and overheard gossip, and my superiors did not tell me anything personally. But allegedly Sarah was very upset by Jane's accusations and texted some very unkind things about Jane to one of her friends.

I mentioned earlier that Jane has a relative that works in the company, and have mentioned this relative in other comments. Well, Jane and this relative are very close and seem to have an unhealthy relationship where they both resent and blindly defend each other. They live together and have worked together in the past, so I suspect there is some deep-rooted codependency between them. Regardless, the blind defense comes in here. Basically, Jane's relative decided to steal Sarah's phone while Sarah was away. from her desk and screenshot the messages Sarah had sent one of her friends complaining about Jane. I don't know what exactly the content of the messages was, but from what I understand, it was pretty offensive. Jane's relative then sent the screenshots to HR as evidence of bullying.

In our state, stealing and accessing someone's personal device is a crime. Regardless, HR got involved and had some sort of conversation with Sarah about the unkind nature of her texts, and everything went to hell from there. I'm still upset that HR elected to do that, considering the texts were brought to their attention through an obvious crime. As far as I am aware, Sarah was not written up or officially reprimanded, but the damage was done. Three. Jane escalates and destabilizes people began to openly shun Jane and her relative, which did nothing but further upset Jane, who blamed it all on Sarah's influence. Suddenly rumors that Sarah had physically attacked Jane in the office sprouted via Jane's relative, though no official reports were ever made.

Jane's relative told people that Jane was too afraid to speak up. Jane began to openly cry and have panic attacks on the work floor, claiming she feared for her life. She only acted out in this way if leadership was not around, and conveniently only had her meltdowns around other regular employees. Unfortunately for her, people continued to avoid her, and employees from other departments began to come to my department's leadership with complaints about Jane's erratic behavior. Five, physical slash sexual assault reports back in my first post, I mentioned that Jane had slapped the backside of a woman that she was fixated on. Well, in the midst of all this, the woman decided to officially report to HR that she had been sexually assaulted by Jane. And what do you know,

within a week of that, another two employees made their own reports of inappropriate physical contact from Jane. Apparently Jane had a pattern of poking slash tickling other people, and coming up to them at their desks to rest her head on their shoulders. The woman who had been slapped spoke to me after her HR meeting and told me that she felt badly for not reporting sooner, but that she feared for her safety, as Jane had made retaliatory physical threats in the past with no noticeable consequence. The woman was also afraid that Jane would turn the situation around on her, and make it seem that she had initiated sexual contact in the workplace. Considering Jane's history, this was a very valid fear.

Five. Jane and her relative resign I don't know exactly what pushed Jane over the edge, but in the middle of a random Monday, she had some sort of crisis. I did not witness it, but I was told that she burst into sobs on the work floor and said things like, I can't do this anymore. And I'm fucking done. One of the snarkier employees that witnessed the meltdown clinton, that Jane cried so hard she was choking and gasping, and had snot face.

One of Jane's favorite things to do at work was to make little sketches and tape them around her workspace. Directly after her meltdown, she returned to the office and dramatically tore all of her little pictures and sketches down, ripping some apart in the process, and demanded a meeting with the manager. The two of them left the room, and around ten minutes later the manager returned alone. Six, exposure of sabotage Jane did not return. turned to her desk. Apparently, she had quit. I found out later that Jane's relative had also quit that day, neither of them giving any notice. As a parting blow, one of the two, not sure which, posted the screenshots of Sarah's text messages on Facebook. Jane also allegedly made a post in which

she accused the company of enabling bullies, and bragged in the comments that she had purposely misplaced slash destroyed important materials to sabotage a random employee, who she named. The employee Jane's sabotage had been spoken to several times in the past few months for misplacing materials, and had been scrutinized by management for his assumed negligence. No one knows why Jane would go out of her way to antagonize the employee, as he is a very quiet person that avoids drama. I personally speculate that perhaps Jane felt rejected by him, as she appeared to flirt with him back when she first started, but pretty quickly realized that he is not attracted to women. But again, just my personal speculation. Anyway, I'm assuming Jane and her relative realized they had massively fucked up or were legally threatened. Because both the post admitting to sabotage and the screenshots from Sarah's phone were deleted from Facebook within a couple hours of posting.

7. Conclusion things are back to normal now. People are noticeably happier and more relaxed, and our productivity has skyrocketed. People, myself included, are still upset that Jane wasn't fired back when she first made physical threats in the workplace, but morale has been great regardless. I have no idea if the company is planning on suing Jane for purposely destroying slash misplacing materials, but my gut feeling is that they just want the whole situation to be closed, and will let her walk with no consequences. Our company is in the medical field, and the materials Jane destroyed slash misplaced were related to clinical studies for cancer patients, which is absolutely horrendous. The young man Jane accused of sexual harassment back in my first post is back at work and seems to be doing just fine.

I've noticed that other employees have been going out of their way to chat with him and make him feel welcome. Some very kind people ask me to take care of myself, which I appreciate. I am doing much better now, and am trying to get back on track mentally. I've been cutting back on my alcohol intake and leaning into my hobbies and social life. I had a long talk with my wife the week Jane quit and apologized for falling apart and burdening her with my mental weight. There were a few nights during the worst week where I drank myself to oblivion, shame spiraled and slept on the couch because I felt that she didn't deserve to sleep next to a miserable drunk. My wife accepted my apology immediately. She says that she was very worried for a time,

because my distress and regression were extremely noticeable. When I admitted that I had been sleeping on the couch due to shame and thoughts that she deserved better, she teared up and began to scold slash aggressively hug me for my criminal levels of idiocy. I'll be doing everything I can to build better coping mechanisms so that, should something like this come up again, I'll minimize the effect it has on her. So while we didn't go on a vacation to Greece and become pregnant with twins, we're hanging on decently. She's been a little shaken since the whole debacle, and I don't blame her. I'm doing my best to get my act together for her, she deserves the best. I have no idea what Jane and her relative are doing now.

I heard yesterday that they have moved to a different state, which they had talked about in the past. There were concerns that they would attempt to cause more trouble down the line, but considering they have no legal legs to stand on, I doubt it. However, should Sarah or one of the people Jane inappropriately touched express an interest in pursuing legal action, I will remove my posts to avoid harming their proceedings. Anyway, that's the update. Apologies again for the long delay. Thank you again to the many kind people that offered advice and well wishes, I appreciated it a lot.

I honestly felt like I was going insane at some points, but reading other people's stories about their dealings with Jane like people really brought things into perspective. If there's a moral to this situation, it's that mental health is not a joke. and if you think you have some issues, especially severe issues like Janes, please seek treatment. Thank you all, I hope everyone has a great day. I hope you enjoy this story. Continued covering the expenses for my spouse's health care overseas, but upon unexpectedly showing up on his special day, I discovered my closest companion expecting a child with him and anticipating their arrival.

Me to keep funding their new family. Three days ago I walked into what I thought was. my home and discovered that my husband Jeff and my childhood best friend Grace were having an affair, and she's pregnant with his baby. The worst part is that they actually expected me to continue sending money from Europe to support them both while they played house together. I need to explain the background because this situation is completely insane. Jeff was diagnosed with a rare form of cystic fibrosis when he was 24, about two years into our marriage. The insurance company denied coverage for the experimental treatments he needed, claiming they were investigational and not

medically necessary. We appealed multiple times and got denied every single time, and the lawyers we consulted said we had almost no chance of winning a lawsuit against them because the treatment protocols weren't FDA approved yet. The medical bills were crushing us financially because the treatments cost around $4,000 per month, and that was just for the medications and not including the specialist visits and monitoring tests that happened every few weeks. We had already burned through our savings and were looking at bankruptcy when I got offered a position with an international consulting firm that would pay me almost triple what I was making domestically. The catch was that I had to be based in their Munich office for at least two years, possibly longer depending on the project timeline. Jeff and I discussed it extensively and decided that I should take the job because it was literally the only way we could afford to keep him alive.

I was sending home about 40% of my salary every month, which covered his medical expenses and allowed him to be. to maintain a decent quality of life. The plan was for me to stay in Munich until we had enough money saved up to either find better insurance coverage or until the treatments became more widely available and covered by our original insurance. Since Jeff couldn't work full-time

because of his condition and needed someone to help him with daily tasks and medical appointments, Grace volunteered to move in with him and take care of everything while I was overseas. Grace had been my best friend since we were eight years old, and I trusted her completely because she had always been there for both of us throughout Jeff's diagnosis and treatment journey. She had even helped us research treatment options and drove Jeff to appointments when I was working

extra hours to save money before I left for Europe. I thought this arrangement was perfect because Jeff would have someone reliable taking care of him. Grace would have free housing since she was between jobs and her lease was ending anyway, and I could focus on my work knowing that the most important person in my life was being looked after by someone who genuinely cared about his well-being. We video called every day and Jeff always seemed to be doing well, and Grace would give me updates about his appointments and medication schedules. I had been planning to surprise Jeff by coming home early for his birthday,

which is next week. I managed to get time off work and booked a flight without telling either of them because I wanted it to be a complete surprise. When I walked through the front door using my key, I found them cuddled up on the couch watching a movie together, and Grace was obviously pregnant and showing quite a bit. The first thing Jeff said when he saw me was this isn't what it looks like which was absolutely ridiculous because Grace was clearly pregnant and they were holding hands.

When I asked how long this had been going on, Grace started crying and said that they had developed feelings for each other about four months ago and that she was about five months pregnant with his baby. Jeff immediately started explaining that they had been planning to tell me about their relationship but wanted to wait until I came home permanently because they didn't want to disrupt. my work situation. He said that they had talked about it extensively and decided that the best solution would be for me to continue working in Munich and sending money home while they figured out how to make their new family work financially. Grace actually said that I should be

understanding about their situation because she had been sacrificing her own life to take care of Jeff while I was living it up in Europe. She claimed that it was only natural for them to develop feelings for each other since they were spending so much time together and that I should appreciate everything she had done for our family instead of being upset about their relationship. The most unbelievable part was when Jeff suggested that we didn't need to get divorced immediately because it would be more convenient for everyone if I remained his legal spouse so he could stay on my health insurance while we worked out a more permanent arrangement. He said that since Grace wasn't working and couldn't get insurance that would cover his condition, it made financial sense for me to stay

married to him at least until after the baby was born and they could figure out their long-term plans. I told them both that they had completely lost their minds if they thought I was going to continue funding their affair and supporting their baby while they lived in my house and used my money to build a life together. Jeff got defensive and said that I was being unreasonable because his medical condition meant he couldn't survive without the expensive treatments that my salary was paying for. Grace backed him up and said that breaking up their family would essentially be sentencing Jeff to death because they couldn't afford his medications without my financial support. I left the house immediately and am currently staying in a hotel while I figure out what to do next. I'm planning to file for divorce as soon as possible and I'm going to fight any attempt Jeff makes to get alimony from me. I'm also going to consult with a lawyer about whether I can recover any of the money I invested in our joint accounts and household expenses over the past year and a half while I was supporting him from overseas. The thing that makes me angriest is that they clearly planned this whole situation and were hoping to manipulate me into continuing to pay for their lifestyle.

while they started their new family together. Grace even had the nerve to suggest that I should be happy for them because they found love during such a difficult time, as if I was supposed to celebrate the fact that my husband and best friend betrayed me while I was working myself to death in a foreign country to keep him alive. I know that some people will probably say that I should have seen this coming or that long-distance relationships never work out, but I genuinely trusted both of them and thought we were all working toward the same goal

of getting Jeff healthy enough for me to come home permanently. I never imagined that they would take advantage of my absence and my financial support to build a relationship behind my back and then expect me to keep funding it after they got caught. Right now I'm just trying to process everything that happened and figure out the best way to protect myself legally and financially. I'm definitely getting divorced and I'm probably going to have to quit my job in Munich and come back to the United States permanently to deal with this situation. I just can't believe that the two people I trusted most in the world could betray me like this and then act. like I was the one being unreasonable for not wanting to support their affair. Update 1, it's been a week since I've discovered Jeff and Grace's affair and I've made some significant progress on getting my life sorted out.

I moved out of the hotel and I'm currently staying with my parents while I look for a divorce lawyer and figure out my next steps. I found three different family law attorneys who specialize in divorce cases involving medical expenses and spousal support, and I'm meeting with all of them this week to decide who I want to represent me. Based on my initial consultations, it looks like I have a good chance of avoiding any alimony payments to Jeff because of the adultery and because I can prove that I was the primary financial contributor to our household while he was having an affair with grace. The lawyers also think I might be able to recover some of the money I sent home over the past year and a half, especially the funds that went into our joint savings account and household improvement projects. I kept detailed records of all my transfers and I have documentation showing exactly how much money I contributed to our joint expenses while I was working overseas.

I've also started the process of removing Jeff from my health insurance policy, which will take effect at the end of this month. I contacted my insurance company and explained that I'm filing for divorce due to adultery and they confirmed that I can remove him as soon as the divorce paperwork is filed. Jeff has tried calling me several times but I'm not answering his calls and I've blocked both him and Grace on social media. My parents have been incredibly supportive and they're letting me stay with them for as long as I need to get back on my feet. They've also offered to help me with legal expenses if necessary, though I should be able to cover everything myself since I've been saving money while working in Munich. The situation with my job in Munich is actually doing okay than I expected. When I explained the situation to my supervisor, she said that the company

has been wanting to expand their domestic operations anyway. They're going to let me transfer to their Chicago office with a pay cut and some benefits removed, so I won't look for a new job while dealing with the divorce proceedings. I've been thinking about how lucky I actually am that I caught them when I did, because Grace's pregnancy would have made their affair obvious eventually anyway. If I had continued working in Munich for several more months without knowing what was happening, they could have been planning their story and possibly hiding assets or making financial decisions that would have been harder for me to reverse later. I also realized that Jeff and Grace probably

thought they had more time to figure out how to break the news to me because my original plan was to stay in Munich for at least another six months. The fact that I surprised them by coming home early for Jeff's birthday meant they didn't have time to coordinate their story or prepare for my reaction. My parents have been helping me go through all the financial documents and join accounts to make sure I have everything I need for the divorce proceedings. We discovered that Jeff had been using our joint credit card to buy things for Grace, including prenatal vitamins and maternity clothes, which will definitely help my case when it comes to proving that he was spending marital assets on his affair partner. I'm filing for divorce this week and I'm also going to request temporary

orders that will prevent him from accessing our joint accounts or making any major financial decisions while the divorce is pending. I haven't heard anything from Grace since the day I caught them, but my parents told me that her mother called yesterday to apologize for her daughter's behavior. Apparently Grace's parents are completely disgusted by what she did, and they've told her that they won't be supporting her financially during her pregnancy or helping with the baby once it's born. It's strange to think that just two weeks ago I thought I had a loving marriage and a loyal best friend who was helping me through a difficult time, and now I'm planning a divorce and cutting ties with someone who was part of my life for over 20 years.

But I'm starting to feel optimistic about my future because I know I'll be much better off without people who are willing to betray my trust and take advantage of my generosity. Update 2, I filed for divorce yesterday and I've officially quit my job in Munich. The past week and a half has been a full of legal paperwork and major life decisions, but I'm feeling much more in control of my situation now that I've taken decisive action. My attorney filed the divorce petition along with requests for temporary orders that will protect my assets while the case is pending. We're asking the court to divide all marital property equally but we're asking the court to divide all marital property equally,

were also requesting that I be reimbursed for the money I contributed to household expenses and Jeff's medical treatments while he was having an affair with grace. The temporary orders also include a provision that prevents Jeff from incurring any new debt in my name or accessing our joint accounts without my permission. My lawyer explained that this is standard practice in divorce cases involving adultery because it prevents the cheating spouse from spending marital assets on their affair partner or hiding money before the final property Jeff's parents showed up at my parents' house two days ago wanting to talk to me about the divorce. At first they tried to convince me that Jeff and Grace's relationship was just a temporary phase brought on by the stress of his medical

condition and my absence. His mother actually suggested that if I came back home and worked on our marriage, Jeff would realize that his feelings for Grace weren't real and they would break up. When I explained that I wasn't interested in reconciling with someone who had been lying to me for months and expecting me to financially support his affair, Jeff's father got much more direct about their real concerns. He admitted that they were worried about how Jeff would pay for his medical treatments without my income and insurance coverage. Jeff's parents then suggested that I should consider not divorcing Jeff immediately and instead work out some kind of arrangement where I would continue to help with his medical expenses until he could find another solution. His mother even suggested

that Jeff should be required to break up with Grace and that Grace should be forced to terminate her pregnancy so that Jeff and I could work on rebuilding our marriage. I told them that their suggestions were completely inappropriate and that I wasn't going to sacrifice my own well-being or continue being manipulated just because Jeff has a medical condition. His father got angry and said that I was being selfish and that I clearly never really cared about Jeff if I was willing to walk away when he needed me the most. I reminded them that I had spent the last year and a half working in a foreign country and sending home most of my salary to pay for Jeff's treatments while he was building a relationship with another woman. I also pointed out that they had never offered

to help with his medical expenses themselves. Jeff's parents left after that conversation, but not before his mother said that she hoped I would reconsider my decision because they didn't know how else Jeff was going to survive without my financial support. It was obvious that they weren't concerned about my emotional well-being or the betrayal I had experienced. They were just worried about losing the financial stability that my job provided for their son. The situation with great Grace's family has been completely different. Her parents contacted me directly to apologize for their daughter's behavior and to let me know that they were cutting off all financial support for her, including her college tuition and living

expenses. Grace's mother told me that they were ashamed of what their daughter had done and that they couldn't understand how she could betray a friendship that had lasted over 20 years. Grace's parents also said that they wouldn't be providing any support for the baby once it's born because they don't approve of how the pregnancy came about. Her father told me that they had raised Grace to have better values and that they were disappointed that she had chosen to destroy a marriage and a friendship for a relationship that might not even last. The financial impact on both Jeff and Grace is already becoming obvious. Without my income, Jeff can't afford his full treatment regimen and he's had to switch to a less expensive medication that isn't as effective.

Grace has apparently been trying to find work but she's struggling because she's pregnant and doesn't have any recent job experience or marketable skills. My lawyer told me that Jeff will probably try to request spousal support during the divorce proceedings, but she's confident that we can fight it successfully because of the adultery. She also said that the fact that Jeff was spending marital assets on grace during their affair will work in my favor when it comes to property division. I'm starting my new job in Chicago next week and I've found a small apartment near the office that I can afford comfortably on my own. It feels good to be making plans for my future instead of constantly worrying about other

people's financial and medical needs. The hardest part about this whole situation has been accepting that the person I thought I was married to doesn't actually exist. The Jeff I thought I knew would never have taken advantage of my love and concern for his health to manipulate me into funding his affair. The grace I thought was my best friend would never have betrayed 20 years of friendship for a relationship with my husband. But I'm starting to see that I'm actually better off finding out about their true characters now rather than continuing to sacrifice my own well-being for people who were willing to take advantage of my generosity and loyalty. I'm looking forward to building a new life where I'm not constantly worried about supporting other people who don't

appreciate what I'm doing for them. Update 3, Jeff agreed to all the divorce terms and signed the paperwork a month ago, which means we just have to wait out the 60-day waiting period that's required in our state before the divorce becomes final. I'm honestly surprised that he didn't try to fight the property division or request spousal support, but my lawyer thinks he probably realized that he didn't have a strong legal position given the circumstances of our separation. Jeff had been asking to meet with me in person to discuss the divorce terms, but I refused because I didn't see any reason to have a face-to-face conversation with someone who had been lying to me for months. I told him through our lawyers that he could communicate with me about

necessary legal matters through his attorney, but that I wasn't interested in having any personal discussions about our marriage or his relationship with grace. Yesterday afternoon Jeff showed up at my parents' house even though I had made it clear that I didn't want to see him. My parents weren't home at the time and I was in the backyard reading when I heard someone calling my name from the front of the house. When I walked around to see who it was, Jeff was standing on the front lawn yelling for me to come talk to him. He started apologizing and saying that he knew he had made mistakes but that our marriage could still be saved if I was willing to work with him. Then he said something that made me realize just how delusional he had

become about the whole situation. He told me that I was actually the reason that he and Grace had found each other because my absence had created a situation where they were forced to rely on each other for emotional support. Jeff claimed that if I had been a better wife and found a way to stay home and take care of him instead of taking the job in Munich, he never would have developed feelings for grace. He said that my decision to prioritize my career over my marriage had created the that led to their affair, so I was partially responsible for what happened between them. That was when I completely lost my temper and went outside to confront him. I told him that I had taken the job in Munich specifically to pay for his medical treatments and

keep him alive, and that blaming me for his affair was the most manipulative and ridiculous thing I had ever heard. I also reminded him that Grace was supposed to be my best friend and that they had both betrayed my trust while I was working myself to death to support them. Jeff kept interrupting me and trying to justify his behavior by saying that I didn't understand how difficult it had been for him to be sick and alone while I was living in Europe. He said that Grace had been there for him in ways that I couldn't be because of the distance, and that their relationship had developed naturally because they were spending so much time together. I told him that plenty of couples manage long-distance relationships without cheating on each other,

and that he was making excuses for behavior that was completely unacceptable regardless of the circumstances. I also pointed out that he and Grace had been planning to continue their affair indefinitely while expecting me to keep paying for their lifestyle, which showed that they weren't sorry about what they had done, they were just sorry they got caught. When Jeff started saying that I was being unreasonable and that I should be more understanding about his medical situation, I slapped him across the face and told him to get off my parents' property and never contact me again outside of necessary legal communications. He looked shocked that I had hit him, but he got in his car and left without saying anything else. I called my lawyer immediately after Jeff left to let her know what had happened and to make sure that his showing up at my parents' house unannounced wouldn't cause any problems with the divorce proceedings. She said that his behavior could actually work in my favor if he continues to try to contact me directly instead of going through his attorney, because it shows that he's not respecting my wishes or following proper legal procedures. My parents came home about an hour after Jeff left and I told them what had happened. My father said that he wished he had been there because he would have told Jeff to leave immediately instead of letting him stay on the property long enough to upset me.

My mother was worried that Jeff might try to come back. So we're going to install a security camera system and contact the police if he shows up again. I'm feeling better about slapping Jeff even though I know that physical violence isn't usually the best way to handle conflicts. But hearing him blame me for his affair and act like I was the one who had caused our marriage problems was so important. infuriating that I couldn't control my reaction. He had been taking advantage of my love and financial support for months while building a relationship with my best friend, and then he had the nerve to suggest that it was somehow my fault. The 60-day waiting period should be over by the end of next month, which means I'll officially be divorced and completely free of any legal ties to Jeff.

I'm already making plans for how I want to rebuild my life once this whole situation is behind me, and I'm excited about the possibility of starting fresh without having to worry about so. supporting someone who was taking advantage of my generosity. Update 4, the 60-day waiting period is almost over and I'll be officially divorced from Jeff next week. I've been settling into my new life in Chicago and I'm really happy with how everything has worked out despite the difficult circumstances that brought me here. I found out yesterday that Jeff and Grace broke up about two weeks ago. According to what I heard through mutual friends, they couldn't handle the financial

stress of living together without family support and they started fighting constantly. constantly about money and their future plans. Grace is still pregnant and planning to have the baby, but she's moved back in with her parents who apparently decided to support her through the pregnancy even though they disapprove of how it happened. Jeff sent me an email yesterday that was so ridiculous I almost couldn't believe he actually wrote it. He blamed me for the fact that their baby is going to grow up in a broken home because my

decision to divorce him forced Grace to raise the child as a single mother. He said that if I had been more understanding about their relationship, and found a way to work out a financial arrangement that allowed him to continue his medical treatments, he and Grace could have stayed together and provided a stable home for their child. The email also included a long paragraph about gender double standards and how unfair it was that I faced no consequences for slapping him while he was being punished for his emotional mistake with Grace. Jeff claimed that if the situation had been reversed and he had slapped me, everyone would have

been calling for him to be arrested, but that people seemed to think my violence was justified because I was the wrong party in the affair. I didn't respond to Jeff's email because there was no point in engaging with his attempts to make me feel guilty for decisions that he and Grace made without considering the consequences. The fact that their relationship fell apart as soon as they lost financial support

just proves that their feelings for each other weren't strong enough to overcome practical challenges, which makes his claims about finding true love seem even more ridiculous. My new job in Chicago has been going really well and I'm making friends with my coworkers and enjoying having a social life again. It's been liberating to not constantly worry about medical bills and insurance coverage and to have my entire salary available for my own needs and goals instead of sending most of it overseas to support someone who is betraying my trust.

I'm looking forward to finalizing the divorce in a few months and officially closing this chapter of my life. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm living for myself instead of sacrificing everything for people who didn't deserve my generosity. I hope you enjoy this story. Expecting sibling blamed me for being overly friendly with her spouse during my commencement celebration, but he disclosed her infidelity and unveiled the child wasn't his, resulting in a physical altercation that ensued. Ruined my relationship with my sister.

I graduated from nursing school last Saturday and my parents threw me a big party at their house with all our extended family, friends from college, and neighbors, because this was a huge achievement for our family since I'm the first person to get a degree and they wanted to celebrate properly with everyone who supported me through the years. My sister Emily, who is 24 and eight months pregnant, came with her husband Dennis, who she's been married to for three years, and I thought everything would go smoothly since she seemed genuinely happy for me when I told her about the party and even offered to help mom with the decorations. Emily has always been the type of person who needs to be the center of attention in every situation

and she's done things like announcing her engagement at our cousin's wedding reception, telling everyone about her pregnancy at our grandmother's 80th birthday party, and constantly posting dramatic social media updates about minor inconveniences to get sympathy and comments from people. The party was going really well and everyone was congratulating me on finishing nursing school,

asking about my job prospects, and sharing stories about their own experiences with work while we ate the barbecue my dad had been preparing since early morning and the cake my mom ordered from the fancy bakery downtown. I was talking to my college friends near the back patio when Emily suddenly stood up from her chair at the main table where she had been sitting with Dennis and started walking toward our group with this determined expression on her face

that I recognized from previous dramatic episodes. She stopped right in front of me and Dennis, pointed her finger directly at me, and announced loud enough for everyone at the party to hear that I had been flirting with her husband all evening and trying to seduce him while she was pregnant and vulnerable. The entire party went completely silent and all conversations stopped mid-sentence. Emily continued yelling that I was a horrible sister who couldn't stand to see her happy

and that I was jealous of her marriage and trying to ruin her family because I was bitter about being single and alone. I tried to tell her that she was being ridiculous and that I had barely spoken to Dennis except to say hello when they arrived, but she kept interrupting me and getting louder while pointing dramatically and saying that she saw me touching his arm and laughing at his jokes in a way that was clearly in a Dennis just stood there looking shocked and uncomfortable while everyone at the party stared at this scene unfolding, and I could see my parents rushing over from across the yard with worried expressions because they could hear Emily's voice carrying over all the background noise. I told Emily that she was making a scene over nothing and that she needed to sit down and stop embarrassing herself and everyone else, but she kept going and started crying while talking about how betrayed she felt and how she couldn't trust anyone in her own family. Then Dennis, who had been completely silent this entire time and just looking down at the ground while Emily was making her accusations, suddenly looked up and said that Emily was the one who had been cheating and that the baby she was carrying probably wasn't even his. The entire party gasped and Emily's face went completely white as Dennis continued talking and said that he had found text messages on her phone three weeks ago from someone named Randall who she had been seeing behind his back for months and at the timing of the pregnancy lined up with when she was having the affair. Emily immediately started screaming that Dennis was lying and tried to deflect attention from his own behavior, but Dennis pulled out his phone and started reading some of the text messages out loud while Emily tried to grab the device from his hands.

The messages were clearly romantic and sexual in nature and mentioned meeting up at hotels when Dennis was working late shifts at his job, and one of them specifically talked about Emily being worried about the pregnancy and whether she should tell Dennis the truth about paternity. Emily was sobbing and screaming that the messages were taken out of context and that Dennis was trying to humiliate her in front of our family, but Dennis kept reading more messages that made it clear she had been lying to him for months about where she was going and who she was spending time with. All the anger and frustration I had been holding back about Emily's attention seeking behavior over the years just erupted and I completely lost my temper because she had ruined what was supposed to be my special day with her false accusations and drama. I stepped forward and shoved Emily hard enough that she stumbled backward, and when she tried to steady herself against a table, I grabbed her shoulders and started shaking her while yelling that she was a selfish liar who couldn't stand anyone else having a moment of happiness. Emily started hitting me back and we ended up in a full physical fight right there in front of everyone at the party, with her pulling my hair and me slapping her face while our relatives

and friends stood around in shock. My dad and two of my uncles had to physically separate us while my mom was crying and asking what was wrong with both of us, and Emily was holding her pregnant belly and saying that I was trying to hurt her baby while I was screaming that she had destroyed my graduation party with her lies and attention-seeking behavior. I never tried to hit her belly or anything of sorts. I was just angry and avoided the belly. Dennis just stood there watching the whole fight without trying to help either of us, and after my dad pulled me away from Emily. Dennis announced to everyone that he was leaving and that Emily could find her own way home because he was done with her lies and manipulation.

He walked out of the party while Emily was still crying and begging him not to leave her, and then she turned to our parents and started demanding that they choose between supporting her or supporting me in this situation. The party basically ended after that because everyone felt uncomfortable and didn't know what to say or do, and most of the guests left within the next 30 minutes while making polite excuses about having other obligations. My parents were devastated that my graduation celebration had turned into such a disaster, and they spent the rest of the evening trying to figure out what had happened and how things had escalated so quickly between Emily and me. Emily ended up calling her friend to come pick her up because Dennis had taken their car when he left, and she spent the entire time waiting for the ride crying and saying that everyone was ganging up on her and that I had always been jealous of her life. I helped my parents clean up the decorations and leftover food from what should have been a happy celebration. I'd offer reacting the way I did.

Edit. I'm getting a lot of questions about the details of what happened and why the situation escalated so quickly, so I wanted to provide some additional context about my relationship with Emily and the history of her attention-seeking behavior that led up to this incident at my graduation party. Emily and I have never had a particularly close relationship because she's always been the type of person who needs to be the center of attention in every situation, and this has caused problems at family events for as long as I can remember. When we were younger, she would do things like fake being sick on my birthday so that our parents would focus on taking care of her instead of celebrating with me.

Or she would start crying and claiming that other kids at school were bullying her whenever I brought friends over to the house so that everyone would comfort her instead of paying attention to my friendships. As we got older, Emily's attention-seeking behavior became more sophisticated and manipulative, and she learned how to create drama at important moments in other people's lives to redirect focus back onto herself. She announced her engagement at our cousin Megan's wedding reception by standing up during the speeches and showing off her ring while saying that Dennis had proposed to her that morning, which completely overshadowed Megan's special day and caused a lot of tension in our extended family. When our grandmother turned 80 last year and our whole family gathered for a big celebration dinner at a nice restaurant, Emily waited until everyone was seated and the meal had been served before announcing that she was pregnant with her first child. She made this announcement by standing up and clinking her glass to get everyone's attention. And then she spent the rest of the evening talking about her pregnancy symptoms and due date while our grandmother's birthday became secondary to Emily's news. Dennis has always been a quiet person who doesn't like confrontation or drama,

and he works as a mechanic at a local garage and keeps to himself and doesn't get involved in family disputes, which is why everyone at the party was so shocked when he finally spoke up and revealed the truth about Emily's affair. The reason I was so angry about Emily's false accusations at my graduation party wasn't just because they were lies, but because this was supposed to be my moment to celebrate a major achievement that I had worked really hard for over the past two years. Nursing school was incredibly difficult and demanding, and I had to balance studying with working part-time to pay for my expenses while living at home with my parents to save money on rent. I had struggled academically in high school and never thought I would be able to handle college-level coursework,

I was determined to pursue nursing because I wanted to have a stable career that would allow me to help people and support myself financially. When I finally graduated and passed my licensing exam, it felt like I had accomplished something really significant that proved I was capable of more than anyone had expected from me. My parents were incredibly proud of my achievement because nobody in our immediate family had ever graduated from college before, and they wanted to throw a big celebration to show how much my success meant to them and to thank all the people who had supported me throughout nursing school. They spent weeks planning the party and invited everyone who had been part of my journey. Emily knew how important this party was to me and to our parents. And she also knew that her accusations about me flirting with Dennis were completely false because I had been focused on talking to my college friends and catching up with relatives I hadn't seen in months. Update 1. For days later, I had a long conversation with my parents yesterday about Emily's behavior at my graduation party

and the years of attention seeking incidents that led up to this situation. And I told them that they bear some responsibility for what happened because they've always forced me to pretend that we're a happy family instead of addressing Emily's problematic behavior directly. My mom and dad have always had this philosophy that family conflicts should be kept private and that we should present a united front to the outside world regardless of what's happening behind closed doors, which meant that whenever Emily did something inappropriate or hurtful.

They would tell me to just ignore it and not make a big deal. deal about it because family harmony was more important than individual feelings. When Emily announced her engagement at cousin Megan's wedding reception three years ago, my parents told me that I was being petty for being upset about it and that I should be happy for my sister instead of focusing on the timing of her announcement. They said that Megan wouldn't remember or care about this detail years from now, and that I was making the situation worse by bringing it up and creating tension between Emily and the rest of our extended family. After Emily announced her pregnancy at her,

our grandmother's 80th birthday dinner last year, I tried to talk to my parents about how this pattern of behavior was hurtful and disrespectful to other people, but they dismissed my concerns and said that Emily was just excited about her life milestones and wanted to share her happiness with the family. They told me that I was being jealous and unsupportive, and that I needed to work on being more generous and understanding toward my sister. I told my parents that their refusal to address Emily's attention-seeking behavior over the years had enabled her to escalate to the point where she felt comfortable making false accusations at my graduation party, and that their approach of always prioritizing family peace over individual feelings had taught

Emily that she could get away with inappropriate behavior as long as she framed it as sharing her happiness or being emotional. My dad initially tried to defend their parenting approach by saying that they had always treated Emily and me equally and that they couldn't control how their adult children chose to behave at family events. But I pointed out that equal treatment doesn't mean ignoring problematic behavior and that their failure to set boundaries had directly contributed to the situation at my graduation party. I explained to them that Emily's false accusations weren't just hurtful to me personally, but that they had also embarrassed our entire family in front of friends, neighbors, and extended relatives who came to celebrate my achievement and instead witnessed a

dramatic scene involving affairs, paternity questions, and a physical fight between sisters. I told them that some of these people might never feel comfortable attending few. future family events because of what they witnessed, and that Emily's behavior had damaged our family's reputation in the community. My mom started crying during this conversation and said that she never realized how much Emily's behavior had been affecting me over the years, and that she thought I was just being competitive with my sister rather than genuinely hurt by her actions. She admitted that they had probably been too focused on avoiding conflict and maintaining the appearance of family unity, and that they hadn't considered how their approach might be enabling

Emily to continue behaving inappropriately. I told my parents that their apologies were appreciated, but that I needed to see actual changes in how they handled Emily's behavior going forward, and that I wouldn't be attending any family events where Emily was present unless she publicly apologized to everyone who witnessed her false accusations and the resulting drama at my graduation party. My dad asked me what I meant by a public apology, and I explained that Emily needed to contact all the guests who were at the graduation party and acknowledge that her accusations against me were false, that she had created unnecessary drama at what was supposed to be a celebration of my achievement, and that she was sorry for putting everyone in an uncomfortable position with her

personal issues. My parents discussed this privately for about an hour while I waited in the living room, and when they came back, they told me that they had decided to ban Emily from all future family events until she completed the public apology I had requested. They said that they would call Emily that evening and explained their decision, and that they would also reach out to the extended family members who were at the party to let them know that they didn't approve of Emily's behavior and that steps were being taken to address the situation. My mom also said that she wanted to personally apologize to some of my college friends who had attended the party because she was embarrassed that their first impression of our family had been so negative. And she asked me if I could

provide her with their contact information so she could send them a message explaining that Emily's behavior didn't represent our family's values. My parents called Emily that evening while I was at work, and according to my mom, the conversation didn't go well because Emily immediately started crying and saying that everyone was turning against her during the most vulnerable time in her life. Emily argued that she was eight months pregnant and dealing with marriage problems, and that the family should be supporting her rather than punishing her for having an emotional reaction at the party. Emily also claimed that Dennis had been acting suspicious and distant for weeks before the party, and that she genuinely believed I was flirting with him because she was feeling insecure and

paranoid about her relationship. She said that her accusations weren't meant to be malicious but were just the result of pregnancy hormones and stress about her marriage, and that she shouldn't be held responsible for Dennis's decision to reveal private information about their relationship in front of everyone. My parents told Emily that they understood she was going through a difficult time, but that behavior at the graduation party was unacceptable regardless of her emotional state, and that she needed to take responsibility for the false accusations and the scene she had created. They explained that the family ban would remain in place until she completed the public apology, and that they hoped she

would use this time to reflect on her actions and work on repairing the relationships she had damaged. Emily hung up on them before the conversation was finished, and she hasn't responded to any of their calls or text messages since then, which is pretty typical behavior for her when she doesn't get the reaction she wants from family members. Update two, few days later, Dennis followed through on what he said at my graduation party and demanded that Emily take a non-invasive prenatal paternity to determine whether the baby she's carrying is actually his, and the results came back yesterday confirming that he is not the biological father of the child. Emily called our parents this morning in tears and said that Dennis had kicked her out of their house and told her that he was filing

for divorce because he couldn't trust her anymore and refused to raise another man's child. According to Emily, Dennis had been cold and distant toward her ever since the graduation party incident, and he had been staying in their spare bedroom rather than sleeping in their bed together while they waited for the paternity test results. When the results confirmed that the baby wasn't his, Dennis apparently told Emily that he felt completely betrayed and manipulated, and that he couldn't continue their marriage knowing that she had been lying to him about the affair and the pregnancy for months. Emily is now 38 weeks pregnant and could give birth at any time, and she has nowhere to go

because she doesn't have enough money saved to get her own apartment and most of her friends have distanced themselves from her since word about the affair and false accusations spread through our social circle. She called our parents crying and begging them to let her move back into their house temporarily until she can figure out a more permanent living situation after the baby is born. My parents were conflicted about what to do because they had just banned Emily from family events until she apologized for her behavior at the graduation party, but they also didn't want to leave their pregnant daughter homeless during the final weeks of her pregnancy. They asked me how I

would feel about Emily living in their house again, and whether I thought it would interfere with our relationship and my willingness to visit them. I told my parents that despite our current feud and my anger about the graduation party incident, I didn't think an innocent baby should suffer because of Emily's poor decisions and behavior, and that they should let her move back home temporarily to ensure that she has a safe place to give birth and recover. I explained that my issue was with Emily's attention seeking behavior and false accusations, not with her unborn child, and that I could separate my feelings about her from my concern for the baby's welfare. I did tell my parents that I expected them to maintain some boundaries with Emily even if they let her move back home,

and that she still needed to complete the public apology for her behavior at the graduation party before I would be willing to have any direct contact with her. I also said that if Emily tried to use her pregnancy and homelessness to manipulate them into dropping the consequences for her actions, then I would reconsider my advice about letting her stay in their house. My parents agreed to let Emily move back home with the understanding that this was a temporary arrangement focused on ensuring the baby's safety and health, and that it didn't mean they were excusing or forgetting about her behavior at the graduation party. They called Emily back and told her that she could stay in her old bedroom until six weeks

after the baby was born, which would give her time to recover from childbirth and start looking for a more permanent living situation. Emily moved back into our parents' house yesterday with just four suitcases of clothes and some basic personal items because Dennis had told her to leave immediately and hadn't given her time to pack properly. According to my mom, Emily has been crying almost constantly since she arrived and keeps saying that her life has fallen apart and that everyone has turned against her when she needs support the most. Dennis apparently told Emily that he would continue paying for her prenatal medical expenses and the cost of delivery since they're still legally married, but that he wouldn't provide any financial support for the baby

after it's born because he's not the biological father. He also said that he wanted Emily to remove all of her belongings from their house within the next two weeks and that he would be changing the locks and filing the divorce papers as soon as possible. Emily has been trying to contact the biological father of her baby, who is apparently the Randall person mentioned in the text messages that Dennis read at my graduation party, but according to my mom, Randall has been ignoring her calls and messages since he found out about the pregnancy. Emily told our parents that Randall is married with two children of his own and that he had made it clear during their affair

that he wasn't planning to leave his wife or take responsibility for any consequences of their relationship. My parents are feeling overwhelmed by having Emily back in the house because she requires a lot of emotional support and attention while she deals with the divorce, the approaching birth, and her uncertain future as a single mother. My mom said that Emily has been monopolizing their time with constant conversations about her problems and fears and that she's been asking them to make

decisions for her about things like finding a lawyer, choosing a pediatrician, and applying for government assistance programs. I've been staying away from my parents' house while Emily is living there because I'm not ready to interact with her yet and I don't want to create additional stress for my parents who are already dealing with a difficult situation. I've been calling my mom every few days to check on how things are going and to offer practical advice about resources that might help Emily transition to independent living after the baby is born. Final update, one year later, it's been a full year since the graduation party incident that destroyed my relationship with Emily and exposed her affair and pregnancy lies,

and I wanted to provide a final update on how everything has played out for our family and what the current situation looks like now that the dust has settled. Emily gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Grace three weeks after she moved back in with our parents, and the delivery went smoothly despite all the stress and drama surrounding the circumstances of the pregnancy. Dennis came to the hospital when Emily went into labor because they were still legally married and he wanted to make sure she had support during the birth, but he made it clear that this was the extent of his involvement and that he wouldn't be taking any parental role with the baby.

The divorce between Emily and Dennis was finalized about eight months ago after a lengthy process that involved dividing their shared assets and determining spousal support payments, and Dennis ended up keeping the house while Emily received a small settlement that she used to pay illegal fees and start a college fund for grace. Dennis has been decent about the whole situation and didn't try to make the divorce more difficult than necessary, even though he had every right to be bitter about Emily's lies and betrayal. Emily never completed the public apology that my parents had required before she could attend family events again, and she has essentially been living as a permanent resident in our parents' house rather than finding her own place and establishing

independence as a single mother. My parents applied for and received legal custody of grace. when it became clear that Emily was struggling with depression and wasn't fully capable of caring for a newborn on her own, and they've essentially become Grace's primary caregivers while Emily works part-time at a retail job. The biological father Randall has refused to acknowledge paternity or provide any financial support for Grace, and Emily has been working with a family court attorney for the past six months to try to force him to take a paternity test and pay child support. Randall hired his own lawyer and has been fighting the paternity claim because he doesn't want his wife to find out about the affair and he's worried about how child support payments would affect his existing family's finances. Even if Emily wins the case and receives child support payments, the amount

probably won't be enough for her to afford her own apartment and child care while working full-time. My relationship with Emily has remained strained and distant throughout this entire year because she never apologized for her false accusations at my graduation party or acknowledged that her behavior was inappropriate and hurtful. We've only spoken directly a few times when I've been visiting my parents and she's been in the same room, and these interactions have been polite but cold with no real effort to address the underlying issues between us. Emily seems to have convinced herself that everyone overreacted to what happened at the graduation party and that she was the real victim in the situation because she lost her marriage and ended up as a single

mother with limited resources. My parents have been struggling with the financial and emotional burden of supporting Emily and Grace, and they've aged significantly over the past year from the stress of essentially starting over as parents in their late 50s. They love Grace and are committed to providing her with a stable home environment, but they've admitted to me privately that they're worried about their ability to handle the demands of raising a child while also managing their own health issues and retirement planning. I've tried to help my parents by babysitting Grace occasionally and contributing money for baby supplies and expenses, but I've maintained my boundary about not having a close relationship with

Emily. Grace is an innocent child who deserves love and support from her. extended family, but I refused to pretend that Emily's actions were acceptable just because time has passed. I hope you enjoy this story. Factory destroyed my initial Mother's Day by compelling my spouse to assist with garden chores instead of commemorating with me and our infant, thus I wrecked his father's day and bestowed him an ultimatum to choose between his mom and our marriage. Our little boy will be one late this summer, so this was the first Mother's Day and Father's Day for both me and my husband. My husband asked what I wanted for Mother's Day. I didn't want slash need anything big or expensive.

What I asked for is, for husband to get up with the little guy and get him fed while I pumped and chilled, breakfast in bed, just toast, scrambled eggs and coffee, for us to take the little guy to the zoo for the first time. This was the main thing I was looking forward to, go to my fave taco place for dinner between morning and afternoon naps. We have about four hours of a wake time. The zoo is ABT 30 minutes away, so I had figured if we left as soon as he got up from his nap and ate, we'd have a couple hours at the zoo and worst case he could sleep in the car on the way home. We took my mom and my mill out to brunch the prior weekend to celebrate them as mom on Saturday and my mom on Sunday. I also got them each a thoughtful little present in flowers to celebrate their first mother's day as grandparents. I arranged everything and told my mom and mill that we'd be celebrating on the actual day with just our little family and sense.

them a group chat, which included husband, my dad, and Phil. Just to make sure everyone is on the same page. My mill is very pushy and overbearing so I didn't want there to be any surprises or confusion. The Saturday before Mother's Day, Phil sent my husband a text with a picture of all the mulch he just had delivered and said something like going to be a busy weekend. Or something like that. Apparently he had 300 bags of mulch. They have a big yard with lots of flower beds. That night my mill called my husband and asked him to come over first thing in the morning to help his dad move the bags of mulch to where they were going to be used. She said since we weren't going to the zoo until after little guy's nap, that husband could go over and help for a couple hours and then come pick us up to go to the zoo. I was obviously not happy, but she guilt him and said Phil was going to end up hurting himself if he moved all that by himself and that it's not a big deal and should only take an hour or two.

I told him his mom was doing this to try and get us to skip our plans and spend the day with them, but he kept saying it's not a big deal, saying his mom promised it would only take a couple hours, etc, etc. I think most people know what happened. Husband went over first thing, which means no breakfast in bed and I had to get up to feed the little guy. I was kind of pissed, but whatever. Spent time with the little guy then when he went down for his morning nap I texted my husband to let him know he should start wrapping things up. Then when little guy woke up two hours later, I called husband to tell him I'd be ready to go

as soon as I finished feeding the little guy. He told me it was taking longer than he expected, but that he'd hurry. Like an hour and a half later husband called and said they weren't done, but he was getting ready to come home. It's 15 to 20 minute drive from Mill slash Phil's house. At that point, we'd miss the window to make it to zoo,

so I told him to just stay there and finish and not worry about Mother's Day. since he hadn't done a single thing I asked for. I don't think there was any doubt in his mind how pissed I was. A little later his mom called and said since we decided not to go to the zoo, that me and little guys should go hang out with her while the boys finished with the mulch. I admit that I was pretty pissy and told her I had no interest in spending time with the people who decided to ruin my first mother's day.

I ended up staying home and ordering a pizza and binging Netflix. When husband got home he was all apologetic and asked how he could make it up. I was still pissed and told him he could make it up by not ruining my first Mother's Day. I also told him he should plan on spending Father's Day with his mom and dad, B.C. Me and the little guy were going to go celebrate Father's Day with my mom and dad. Since Mother's Day Mill has been texting and calling, but I've been keeping conversations short and just giving very bland generic responses. My husband has been apologizing and asking what he can do, but honestly I don't want to bother. I know it's just a day.

and we can celebrate any time, like we did with my mom and Mill. But it was my first ever Mother's Day. And it's not like I asked for anything expensive or difficult. The only difficult thing is he's incapable of setting boundaries with his mom. And she's incapable of considering anyone's feelings but her own. This past Saturday he asked if I was still going to my parents then said he'd like to go with us. I told him he could do whatever he wanted but since I hadn't done anything for his dad he might want to go see or something. We did both end up going to my parents and spending the day with them. It was actually

a nice day. My dad insisted on grilling because of course he did, but the weather ended up being nice and we spent a lot of time hanging out on their deck playing with the little guy. I'm not sure what if anything my husband did for his dad. I know he was getting a lot of texts during the day, I assume from his mom. She did send me a snippy text saying it was hurtful to spend the day with my family at the expense of husbands, but I told her she got to spend Mother's Day with her baby boy, so it's only fair that I spend Father's Day with my family. I know my husband was hurt that we didn't acknowledge him for Father's Day, but I told him while we were driving to my parents' house that I'm just matching his energy.

I admit that I haven't done anything to de-escalate the drama, but I'm still just so hurt he continues to prioritize his mom's feeling over our little family. This isn't the first time his mom has done crap like this, and I'm just so tired of it. She always oversteps and insists on doing what she wants. I'm doing better at keeping her at arm's length and holding my own boundaries, but my husband is absolutely incapable of it. Update, I wanted to thank everyone. I've had a lot of people asking for an update, so here we go.

This weekend the husband and I sat down and talked about everything. I expressed to him how incredibly upset and disappointed I was at how both Mother's Day and Father's Day went down. I really wanted to recognize and celebrate my husband for FD every bit as much as I hoped he would recognize and celebrate me for MD. He said he knew he shouldn't have gone to his parents on MD but didn't know what to do since his mom was pressuring him and saying if his dad got hurt it would be husband's fault. He admitted that he knew he messed up and has been terrified that I was going to ask for a divorce. Since he cut to the chase, I told him that if this is how our life is going to be, I don't want to stay married to him. I explained to him that I realized that while yes, I was upset about what happened on Mother's Day,

that isn't what is making me feel this way. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. This kind of behavior from his mom has been happening since we before got engaged and has just escalated. This has been happening for years. As someone here suggested, I had listed all the times slash events that I could remember, that she had overstepped or just completely ruined. for our freaking honeymoon, she called him twice a day. Every morning to find out our plans for the day and then every evening to hear how the day went.

Plus the constant texting, asking for pictures, telling him how much she missed him. I don't know how I thought this was acceptable. She tried to make our wedding about herself, tried to make my pregnancy about herself, tried to take over when we brought our son home, just constantly inserting herself and overstepping. I told him that I don't really want to get divorced right now, but it's going to happen anyway, I'd rather get divorced now while we can still do it amicably. Because if nothing changes, I'm going to end up so angry and resentful that it would make divorce very contentious and I don't want that for our son. At this point we were both crying, upset and emotional. So I told him that I'll

give him some time to decide what he's going to do, but if I don't see clear effort being made to start prioritize me and our son that I'd move forward with the divorce. And the change has to continue. Every time we've fought about this in the past, he's promised he'll change and sometimes he has, but then his mom pulls him back into her orbit. If we are to stay married, these are some of the things I'm insisting on in no particular order.

We each own the relationship with our own parents. That means I'm not planning anything for his parents anymore. No cards, no presents, no brunches or parties, no pictures, nothing. If his parents reach out to me I'm going to redirect them to him, I'm not entertaining or visiting with his parents when he's not around. I'm not taking our son over to theirs by myself. And if they drop by, I'm not inviting them in unless my husband is there. I'm not changing my plans at the last minute just because they decided to drop by without coordinating with us in advance or because they want us to do something with them. Neither of us makes plans with our parents or

accepts invitations until we discuss with our partner. And if we don't both agree that we don't do it. And we don't throw each other under the bus. We just say something like we checked our schedule and were not available. Holidays like Christmas, Halloween, Easter, etc. are at our house. We can discuss inviting our parents but we're not going to someone else's house to celebrate something involving our son when we can do it at home. This includes his first B-day which Mill is trying to take over and plan, other holidays were alternate between our parents. And we will focus on being present. That means no more texting talking to his mom nonstop when we're with my parents, no more over sharing with Mill.

She doesn't need to know about our finances or health medical issues or vacation plans or anything unless we both agree it's something we want to share. His visits to his parents can't be at the expense of spending quality time with me and our son. I don't mind him visiting his parents, but he's over there a couple times a week. We are his immediate family now, we should get priority. We're not doing things just. just because she said we should. And we're not changing our plans just because she doesn't like them. She really doesn't understand that wrong and different are not the same thing. In her mind, if we're not doing what she wants, how she wants, then we are in the wrong.

He needs to go to therapy with someone specializing in enmeshment. And we need to start going to couples therapy. I didn't even realize I have so much pent-up resentment that I can't look at my husband the same anymore. I'm just angry at him all the time and I hate being this way. When it comes to our son, our word, husband and me, is law. If she disregards or minimizes our decisions for our son, then she loses access until she learns to behave. When me or my husband say no to either set of parents, the other person will support them and

back them up. That means my husband has to stop trying to get me to agree with his mom all the time. I can tell he's freaked out and really stressed. about the idea of putting hard boundaries in place or distancing from his parents. And I do feel for him. He said he feels like he's caught between a rock in a hard place and that me and his mom are both putting a ton of pressure on him and both have conflicting expectations.

And that's fine. He just needs to understand that I'm not tolerating this anymore. I know this will cause an absolute shit storm with his parents, but I feel like if we don't do it now, it'll just be harder down the road. What does everyone think? Am I being unreasonable? Are there other boundaries we should put in place? Next story, BF became controlling and clingy after we moved and together. When I tried breaking up, he refused to leave my house and said I'd have to evict him.

Then he installed hidden cameras and attacked me when I finally got help. I, 46F, and BF, 38M, James refuses to let me end the relationship. We've been together for a little over a year and living together since November. Before we moved and together things were good. We lived in different areas, so most of our time together was over weekends. We got along well, talked often, phoned in texts, did things together, met each other's families, etc. If any issues arose we talked about them and worked it out, which is why we decided to move and together. That's when things changed. After moving and together, he started becoming more and more clingy, wanting to spend every available minute together.

He started staying home a lot. I work from home. We all the sudden were constantly together. It started to become an issue. But when I tried to talk to him about it, it was my fault he was being that way. I wasn't giving him quality time, because being in the same room with someone isn't being together, just occupying the same space. So I made it a point. to give him the one-on-one, without distractions daily. It got worse. He started throwing tantrums. We'll get invited to go somewhere and last minute he'll decide he doesn't want to go but says it's

fine if I do. I won't be gone 30 minutes when he'll start texting me and he'll text non-stop the whole time. If I stop answering I get messages that will say things like I won't be here when you get back or you're not going to like what you find when you do get back. Then when? I do get back, doesn't matter if I come back right away or hours later, he's crying and telling me how neglectful and dismissive I am of his feelings. At first I listened and apologized, tried to be more mindful. But then his insecurities started. He started questioning if there was someone else.

He said it was his insecurities, nothing I was doing, but it's better to voice them and have my reassurance than to just let it fester. That makes sense the first time, maybe the second time, not the 15th time. We started arguing, because when exactly do I have time for someone else? We are never apart for more than 10 minutes. It just got worse. He started arguments over nothing. Nothing would be going on, nothing would happen, he'd just come in the room yelling. He's read my journals, he either goes through my phone or has installed spyware on it. He questions me about things I've written in the journal or text messages, then tried to lie and say that he read it over my shoulder. This week has been the worst yet. We were out for dinner, he decided it was the

appropriate time to discuss things in our relationship. In a very public, intimate dinner setting. We had been having a good day, no arguing, both enjoying the day, laughing not five minutes before this. I was immediately uncomfortable and very much on guard. I don't like airing my dirty laundry and he knows this. He's insisting on talking about it right then. I said it wasn't the place or time. He doesn't stop. I'm not engaging. After a few minutes of this he decides we need to leave because my demeanor is making him look bad. Everyone can see that something is wrong and it's making him look bad. We got up and left without eating a meal that we'd already paid for. On the way home, I started to quietly cry and he started yelling.

He was driving erratically into I told him to slow down. He slammed on the brakes from 77 to full stop in the middle of the interstate. Twice. We are lucky we didn't cause an accident and hurt other people. He wouldn't let me out. This went on the whole two-hour ride home. I ended it that night. Told him it's over.

I'm not doing this anymore. That car ride was the last straw. He refuses to leave. Says if I want him out I'll have to evict him. He begs, he cries, he takes my keys so I can't leave, he threatens to kill himself. I don't want to go to my aunts because she doesn't need the drama. I have no other family close. I have nowhere else to go.

I can start the eviction process, but that takes a month or longer. He just keeps saying he can get better. I don't care if he can. I don't know what to do. Am I really going to have to deal with this until I can evict him? The police here won't do anything because he hasn't physically assaulted me. I tried a civil no-contact, judge said the same thing. I called a lawyer, same thing.

Until he physically assaults me there's nothing they can do to help me. How do I handle this? Edit for clarification. I've been married once. He was abusive, was sleeping with his first wife, behind my back. Once my divorce was final, 2014, he remarried first wife. She died less than a year later under mysterious circumstances. Two years after the divorce he died of a massive heart attack. He has a son that I raised for years, that is 17 now. My boyfriend died in 2017. He fell asleep

while driving home from work, graveyard shift, crossed the center line and hit a semi-head on. Steering column was pushed into his chest, broke his ribs, rib punctured his heart. He was pronounced at the scene. He was a mile from home. The next one was in 2018, he cheated and an alcoholic. We split up October of 2023. I met current BF, in December of 2023. I know not much time between last two. Also, I'm not questioning if I should get out of relationship. Just how to handle this until I can get him out of my house. I own my home. So there is no landlord to speak of. I've called the police, a lawyer, and my county judge. All days since he hasn't physically assaulted me that there is nothing they can do to help. Update, it's been four months and I thought I post an

update. I took some of the advice and filed the eviction a week after my original post. I switched bedrooms and placed locks on my bedroom and office doors. I tried to stay calm and not engage in arguments. Did my best to keep things smooth until eviction. He was not having it. He would go from crying, to talking calmly, to yelling, daily. The more I refused to engage the more volatile he became. The more aggressive he was.

If I didn't respond to him within five minutes, text or in person, I was ignoring him. Didn't matter if I was working, driving, doing stuff around the house, or just sitting at home. It was exhausting and I was just counting the days. Approximately one week until eviction, he was sending me texts while sitting in same room as me. I finally told him I was doing to answer another message. He sent three more long texts. I set my phone down and got to to leave the room. He attacked me before I got to the doorway. He knocked me to the ground, slammed my head and arm against the floor, tried to force himself on me, and then headbut me, gave me two black eyes. After this he took my phone, loaded his things into the car,

and left. This happened on a Friday evening. My cousin and a friend came to stay with me for the weekend. That night my friend found a hidden camera in my fireplace. I took pictures and disconnected it. We spent the rest of the weekend looking for others. We didn't find any more but did find a GPS tracker on my car. We also found my basement door, that leads to outside, had been tampered with. Also, my basement door, leading into the house, has a chain lock. While the bracket that is attached to the door frame had the screws clipped short and then pushed back into the frame, so that it would hold but with just a bit of or pressure wouldn't hold. Making the chain lock useless. I documented and took pictures of it all. He continued to call and make threats all

weekend. He said he went back to his hometown, but I don't think he did. I think he sat in his car watching my house all weekend. The following Monday, I filed a no-contact order through the courts. That same day he was arrested on his way back to his hometown, unrelated charges. I was granted the no-contact order. He is still in jail. The last couple months have been a struggle for me emotionally. I didn't realize how much of a toll all this had taken on my mental. I've been looking into therapy. Couldn't hurt any at this point. My physical injuries healed up, no permanent damage.

Just swelling and bruising. That's it. I've just been working on me. He's still in jail and I'm unsure of when he'll get out. But I'll be notified when he does get released. Thank everyone for all the advice. I really appreciate those that answered and gave advice. Edit, I really appreciate everyone's advice and concern, it really does mean a lot.

I decided to heed everyone's advice and move. I went and spoke to my aunt and told her everything. I'd previously told her very little. She has offered to buy the house so it can stay in the family. We have also found someone to come twice a week to help her with her household stuff and a daily meal delivery service. I've also spoken with my son and he assures me that he is and will be okay. He'd rather I be safe. I work from home but my boss is helping transfer me to a different office.

But assure me that I don't have to wait for that to happen before I move. I'm also now working with a DV organization. I've been in contact with an advocate and she is helping me navigate through all this. I'm overwhelmed and stressed. But I'm doing what I need to do so that I'm safe. I'm sad and disappointed in myself for putting my family in this situation and making them have to rearrange their lives because of my bad choices. Again I want to say thank you to everyone that responded. I hope you enjoy this story. Relatives deceived me in the legal proceedings, leading to the loss of custody of my son.

Presently, they are seeking assistance from me following a betrayal by my former partner. I covertly captured their admission of guilt on tape. Hello. So this is going to be kind of long because there is a lot of context that I have to mention for everything to make sense. I, 33F, got divorced a couple of months ago but it had been in the works for almost a year. I met my ex-husband James through friends when I was 25 and after dating for two years, we decided to move and together and get married. His family was a little conservative and traditional and did not approve of love.

live in relationships so we had to get married if we wanted to stay together. And I really liked James, so I didn't see a problem marrying him. My parents were also on board with that decision and so we got married. Within a year of living together, I found out that I was pregnant and we were overjoyed. It felt like our family was really coming together and everything was kind of falling into place. But unfortunately, when I announced that I was pregnant, my in-laws started pressuring me to quit my job and focus on being a mother. It didn't make it any easier that my job was not very

lenient with a maternity leave and since it hadn't really been a long time that I had been working with them, my maternity leave would be especially short. So at the time, I weighed the pros against the cons and decided to quit my job. It was not a decision that I made alone, everybody had been a part of it. James and his parents kept telling me that it would be the best decision in the long run, and I simply had to do it. James seemed pretty sure. of everything and said that he would take care of the family, I didn't have to worry about the money. He would bring enough home and all that I had to think about was raising our kid. My parents and my older brother also thought that it would be for the best if I quit my job

and stayed at home because that's what my mother had done. And even though she had the choice of going back to work, she chose not to because this was a priority for her. I had a lot of pressure on me from both sides of the family. So I decided to quit when I was in my second trimester. Everything had been going well and I had full faith in my husband that he would never let me down, which is why I left my flourishing career to be a stay-at-home mom. However, soon after my son was born, I realized that there was something strange about the way James had been behaving in the last few months of my pregnancy. I could never quite put my finger on it, but there was something off about his energy and everything.

Sure, he seemed happy when our son was born, and I thought things would go back to normal, but instead, it started getting worse. He started being very irritable around me and any time I would try to talk to him, he would just snap at me. The only time that he seemed happy and content with life was when he was playing with our son, but other than that, it always felt like he was very annoyed

to be at home with me. So he would spend long hours at work, and even on the weekends, he would consistently come up with some excuse not to spend time with me. I just couldn't understand what was going wrong, but I kept trying my best to make our marriage work because unlike him, I loved him and I didn't want to give up on us. This trend continued for about two years after my son was born.

He would stay at work for way longer than he needed to and even when he was at home, he wasn't really with me. I couldn't exactly complain about it, because every time I would try to talk to him about it, he would just tell me that he was really tired from work and it was not an easy task for him to be the sole breadwinner for the household. And that was really insulting for me because it wasn't as though I was not capable of bringing home money for myself, but I had to rely on him because he had promised me that he would make it easy on me. A couple of times, I even asked him if he would prefer for me to go back to work, so then we could split all the expenses and he wouldn't have to take so much pressure, but he said that it was an insult to him and his capabilities. Besides, my in-laws would never approve of it and we would be in for a really hard time with them if I went back to work. So I continued to stay at home and raise my son, which is pretty much the only thing that brought me joy because James had changed, and he was no longer the man that I had married. It was only about a year ago that I found out that James had actually been having an affair with one of his co-workers.

It had been majorly difficult for me to find out about because, honestly, I had been kind of suspicious about it for a long time. I had even snooped through his phone and laptop a couple of times when he was asleep, but I found nothing. I knew all his passwords because he wrote them down in his notepad, but even that didn't help, it almost felt like he had nothing to hide. And I felt like an idiot for even being suspicious of him. I even went through his belongings to look for a burner phone or whatever, but I again, found nothing. At one point, I had actually started to believe that maybe I was just being paranoid and

insecure, but the universe had my back and the proof of his cheating was something that I saw for myself. James and I were throwing our son a pretty grand birthday party about a year ago and he had invited the co-worker. He had been cheating on me. She was a single mother with a son around my son's age, so I didn't find it strange that he had invited her. He had also told me that she was a really close friend of his so I didn't find it unnecessary at all. After my son had cut his birthday cake, I decided to go to the upstairs bedroom because I wanted to change into something more comfortable for the party, but when I walked into it, to my bedroom, I realized that my husband was already in there. And so was his co-worker, on his lap. They were full on making out when I walked in on them and it took me a couple of

minutes to even process what I was witnessing. First of all, it was my bedroom that the two of them were going in and that was the most horrifying part of it. And secondly, they didn't even break apart when they heard the door opening. So I had to walk all the way over to them and make my presence felt for them to snap out of it. I'm pretty sure that they thought that it would be fun to make out in my bedroom, in my house, just for the thrill of it, but they probably didn't count on me having a complete breakdown over it. I'm not proud of it, but knowing that what I had been suspecting for so long was actually true made something snap inside of me.

I grabbed the coworker by her hair and started dragging her outside the room, and I was unstoppable from what I was told. James is considerably stronger than me, but he couldn't stop me and I don't even remember most of it because I think I had a rage blackout. I dragged her downstairs with me with James right behind me, and pushed her into the middle of the room, while everyone was there. I don't remember most of the things that I said, but apparently, I called her a bunch of derogatory names and told everybody what she and James had been getting up to in my bedroom. I didn't even care that my son was right there and so were a bunch of his friends. Now that I look back on it, it's extremely

embarrassing and inappropriate, but at the time, that didn't even occur to me and I was just screaming at the top of my lungs. My parents, my brother, and my in-laws were also present there, and I think it was my father who finally calmed me down and took me back to my room. Once I was inside my room, I completely broke down and started crying. I was sobbing uncontrollably, but instead of staying with me and comforting me, my dad locked me inside my room and went back out. I guess I should have known instantly that my parents didn't care about me. I had always known that they cared more about appearances than being real, but that was just insane. Nobody came to check up on me for the next couple of hours and even after I had calmed around considerably,

I had no idea what was going on outside. I didn't even have my phone so I couldn't even ask anyone. It was only after midnight that I was escorted out of the room by my brother, who didn't even ask me how I was doing. They probably would have made me stay in the room for longer if I hadn't started banging on it like a crazy person. When I came out, I asked my brother what had happened after I had been locked in and he told me that pretty much everyone cleared out after my breakdown. He also said that James had left with his parents and my son and the only people in the house at the time for me, my parents and him and he had let me out of the room so we could discuss what we were going to do about this now. But my family's idea of a discussion meant telling me that I had to apologize to all my guys. guests for the way that I had behaved at the party. And not just that, but I also had to apologize to my in-laws and James for what I did. They told me that he had found it extremely

difficult to convince his coworker not to press charges against me because what I had done was an act of physical violence against her. So now, I owed it to him to talk about this and work things through instead of making this a big deal. I freaked out at them and told them to get out of my house because I was not going to allow them to stand under my roof and tell me that I had to apologize to my cheating husband. I got into a huge fight with my family because they were telling me that I owed it to him to make things right and give this marriage a second shot, or else, they would cut ties with me. So I told them to go ahead because I had reached a point where I couldn't care less about what anybody else thought of me. I was going to file for divorce and get out of this mess

and I didn't need anybody's permission for it. So I contacted a lawyer the very next day and and filed for divorce within a week of the incident. James was served soon after, and he actually had the audacity to be disappointed and shocked. He came back home the day that he was served with the divorce papers and demanded an explanation. I told him that there was no way that I was going to take him back after what he had done and the way he had insulted me.

We got into a nasty verbal argument where I said a lot of things to him and called him a lot of names and he ended up promising me that I would never be able to see my son again. but I didn't realize that he would actually ensure that he lived up to his words. Then, the legal battle began. The divorce proceedings were easier and simpler compared to the custody battle since we had very few joint assets to speak of. The house belonged to me and there was no question about it because I had purchased it with

my own money. Everything else was going to be sold and the cost would be split between the two of us. We just had to wait for six months due to the waiting period in our state, and after that, Once we had come to a settlement, the divorce would come through. The only thing that we couldn't agree upon was the alimony that was due because I had to start from scratch since he had forced me to quit my job and I didn't have enough money of my own. He thought that I shouldn't get any alimony at all, but of course, that was not possible

since he had told me that he was going to help me and make sure that I never felt the need to work. Thankfully, I had a couple of texts to prove that, or else I might not even have been able to get that alimony. The divorce process was emotionally easier for me to deal with because, in my head, I had already disconnected from James. But the custody battle is what really screwed me up because, unfortunately, my parents and my brother decided to stab me in the back for money. My ex-husband and his lawyer were horrible people who started making a case against me for being a terribly careless and psychotic mother to prove that I was not capable enough of handling the task of raising my son on my own. So James and his parents were supposed to have full custody.

Now I assumed that my parents and brother had to be bought out by my ex-in-laws because they were seriously loaded and I couldn't think of any other explanation as to why they would turn on me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that they even started sucking up to my in-laws in the first place because of their money. Anyway, James accused me of being incapable and unfit to raise our son and demanded full custody, because apparently, I was a functioning alcoholic with serious anger issues. They made up several incidents where apparently, I had lost my temper and put my son at risk of being hurt. Of course, none of that had ever happened, but they needed something to make me look like the bad guy. I thought that at least some people would be on my side on this, but all my friends decided to take his side on this. And I think a lot of that had to do with my breakdown at my son's birthday party. But the worst betrayal of it all was when my parents and my brother also testified in court against me and claimed that I needed

rehab and serious intensive therapy before I was even allowed to be near my son, because I was clearly not in my right state of mind. And that was probably also what had driven James to cheat on me because he was sick of dealing with me. So unfortunately, even though I put up a good fight with my lawyer, I was unable to get custody of my son. The cards were stacked against me and there was very little that I could do to prevent the inevitable. My lawyer and I had been trying our best to put together scraps of evidence to prove that I was a good mother, but eventually, all of it went to waste. The verdict was announced a couple of months ago, and that was the last time that I saw my son in person. I did get supervised visiting rights, but James never let me see him anyway,

so it's kind of pointless. He is four years old now, but he barely even gets to meet me and I'm constantly afraid that he's going to forget about me when he grows up. From what I know from a couple of relatives who are still on my side, my family still gets to see him since they post pictures with my son all the time. James and my son are still living with my in-laws and basically everybody gets to see him but me. I can't imagine something more heartbreaking than that. I had been living solely off of the memories of my son and myself, believing that at least he was taken care of by James. Because I don't think I would have been able to give him a nice life on my salary since I'm just starting out. I was able to get a job in my friend's company, but it's a

startup and they don't really make much as of now. So my salary is not what one would expect from a woman in her 30s and even the other employees there are all in their early 20s, just there for the experience so they can move on to better opportunities. I do get alimony every month, but it's really not enough because I still have to maintain the lifestyle. I was living before and I can't exactly live like a bachelor and cut costs. But this is all I have right now because of the massive gap in my resume. I had believed that once I cleaned up my act, I would apply for shared custody again and maybe I would stand a chance then. But the opportunity literally fell into my lap a couple of weeks ago, when my parents reached out to me after months of not being

on speaking terms to ask me for help. The help that they needed was that they needed me to bail them out because surprisingly, James was not the wonderful guy that they had believed him to be. My brother sent me an email saying that I needed to come over to their place ASAP because they had realized something huge and they wanted me to know because they were sick of hiding things from me and wanted to be a part of my life again. I tried to ignore that email that day, but I couldn't stop thinking that maybe this would help me with my son, so I went over to their place in the evening. When I did go, I had expected them to be living like kings because they had sold me out for money from my ex-in-laws. But if anything, they were living worse than before.

My son was thrilled to see me, though, so that was the cherry on top of a fantastic evening. When I visited my family that day, they literally started begging for forgiveness. As soon as I walked in the door because apparently, they had realized how badly they had screwed up, and there was no going back but still wanted me to forgive them. After the divorce, when they approached my ex-in-laws and James to ask about the money that they had been promised, James told my family that that was not happening anymore. Apparently, it had only been insinuated that they would be compensated handsomely if they turned against me and testified in their favor, but there was nothing in writing to prove it, and if my family tried to backtrack and tell me about all of this then they would just make sure that they never saw my son again. So for the sake of my son, they decided to keep their mouth shut, even though they were not even getting paid for it, like they had been promised. But it got worse because they had been used terribly and not only had they been manipulated to testify against me, but they were also being treated like free babysitters.

James would drop our son off at my parents' place every single day and they had to watch him while sacrificing their own time. It was highly inconvenient because even my dad and my brother had jobs to attend to, and my mother had jobs to attend to, and my mother. couldn't handle all the household work and looking after her grandson all by herself because she was getting old. So either my dad or my brother would have to work from home every day and it was becoming really difficult for them, which is why they had contacted me to finally put an end to this. Apparently, they wanted to strike a deal with me and said that if I gave them the money that my ex-in-laws promised them, they would take my side this time in court and make sure that I got custody of my son. I was about to suggest this myself but honestly, it was not surprising that they did it. My family had always been very materialistic and even more

so now that my dad's business had failed and they were back to working jobs for other people. Obviously, they would want money more than ever now because my dad wanted to retire, but he didn't even have enough money put aside since he had put all his money into the business and it went on to fail. They said that they could concoct some story about how they had been pressured and coerced into testifying against me, so they couldn't be charged with perjury while under oath. But Little did know that I didn't actually need help anymore. I had been recording everything that they had said right from the second I stepped foot into the house because I knew that there was something messed up going on and I didn't want to take any risks.

So I had everything on record anyway, but nevertheless, I told my family to send me the screenshots, if they had any, to prove that they had been used and lied to. And then, I told them that I would help them out and then left. I had already seen my son and I had more than enough proof to file for custody again. So that's what I did the next day with my lawyer and this time, I was prepared. The custody case is still ongoing but one thing is for sure, I'll be able to prove that none of the things that James had accused me of had been true and my family had been lying about everything all along. I've already played the recording and that has swayed things in my favor considerably. James and his lawyer are literally scrambling for evidence in their favor and I am taking it

all in and enjoying the show because this is what they had put me through last time and now, I get to do it to them. It's karma at its finest, and I couldn't be happier about it. The only thing that's been less than ideal. They have been claiming that I have also used them just like James did and that I had no right to record them without their consent and use it against them. But in my state, it's completely okay and admissible in court so I didn't understand what they were referring to until they told me that I had betrayed their trust by recording them. These are bold words from people who betrayed my trust first by taking my ex-husband's side in the custody case. They believe that what I did was wrong because what they had done was out of necessity. They needed

the money, but I didn't need to screw them over and put them at risk of perjury because they had already agreed to help me out and testify against James and his family so I didn't have to go behind their back. They've been texting me relentlessly and it's getting harder for me to ignore. So I'd have for going behind my family's back and putting them at risk of being charged with perjury? Update 1, hello, everyone. The custody case is still ongoing, and James and his lawyer are trying their very hardest to prove that they have been telling the truth because of course, they might be facing charges and that's a felony so they might get jail time. But that's really not my concern right now and it shouldn't have been at any point. I don't even know why I was getting worried about my parents when they clearly didn't worry about me when it was my turn.

So it's really just tit for tat right now. The comment section opened my eyes to how my parents were extremely entitled. But anyway, I have cut ties with them. All of them can go where they want to. I want my son to be all right and with me. I have waited long enough for this and I'm not going to let my family and their constant victimization of themselves. If they can sell me out for money, I don't think it's necessary for me to show any loyalty

towards them. I'm done now. Update 2. so, the good news is that I finally got custody of my son. I don't think I've ever felt so happy in my entire life. The other good news is that my in-laws, James, and my family were charged with perjury and yes, they might go to jail for it. I bet they're regretting everything now. But I don't care about any of it because I got what I wanted. I got my son back and that's all I had ever asked for. From what I know, James is still trying to fight it and stay out of jail, but I don't think it's going to work.

I've already filed for a restraining order against all of them because I've been receiving very threatening text messages and I am 100% sure that it has to be from these people. Because nobody else would want to harm me unless it's them. Things have been really busy and hectic for the past couple of weeks, but I'm learning to slow down now. I desperately want to spend more time with my son, so I have decided that I'm going to cut my work hours short. I've also thought about selling the house and moving to a smaller apartment so I can save more money. I still have a lot of work to do. Rebuilding my relationship with my son is not going to be an easy task because even though he is happy to be with me, he still asks about his dad and his grandparents and I don't know what to tell him.

He has told me a couple of things about them, like how he had been living with his grandparents for the most part and his dad and my in-laws were only there for him for part of the day. Whenever I ask him about how it was living with his grandparents, he makes a face and says that it was not that great because everyone would constantly be fighting. And I can totally see that, it sounds like they really gave him a rough time. Just because they didn't want to take up his responsibility. I can't imagine why they would treat a child like that, but I couldn't put it past these people. They are most definitely capable of even making a little boy feel bad about himself. But anyway, I don't have to worry about that because now he is with me.

Update 3, Hi, Everyone. So, I can't believe I'm back here after almost five years. It feels kind of unreal how different my life is right now. Five years is a really long time and so much has changed, the first being how much older my son is. We have a beautiful relationship right now and after countless therapy sessions, he and I have finally become the mother and son that we should have been right from the beginning. He's growing up to be a wonderful man and I'm sure that he will turn out to be nothing like his father

because I just know it in my heart. He is nine years old right now and already a perfect gentleman. I'm raising him on my own and I have full custody because James gave up and moved to Europe after he was out of jail. I can't say that I'm surprised. He went away with his co-worker, who he had been cheating on me with and now, they are married. I guess he just replaced his actual, biological son with the other kid. It's horrifying but that's the kind of person that he is. As for my parents and my brother, they were out of jail after six months for good behavior. We have not kept in touch and they did not try to reach out to me after they were out, which I am grateful for because I don't think I would have had anything to say to them anyway. I don't have any news about my in-laws. I haven't heard

about them or from them for years and it's for the best, I think. I'm living a life now, I have a stable job and a steady income, by God's grace. I'm still working at the company that I started out with my friend's business, and it's doing pretty great. So, life turned out well for me and my son and it's more than what I could have asked for. I'm truly grateful for everything.