RedHanded - Episode 356 - Davy Tweed: Behind Closed Doors

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

As far as the people of County Antrim, Northern Ireland, knew, Davy Tweed was a sporting hero, dedicated public servant, and good Protestant family man. But his stepdaughter Amanda Brown knew what this public façade masked: a volatile, unstoppable juggernaut of physical and sexual abuse, who made her family’s life a living hell.In a very special episode, we directly hear from Amanda herself – who tells us exactly what it’s like to walk down the street with your abuser, while people shout ‘hero’ at him.Exclusive bonus content:Wondery - Ad-free & ShortHandPatreon - Ad-free & Bonus EpisodesFollow us on social media:YouTubeTikTokInstagramXVisit our website:WebsiteSources available on redhandedpodcast.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Red Handed early and ad-free. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. So, get this. The Ontario Liberals elected Bonnie Crombie as their new leader. Bonnie who? I just sent you her profile. Her first act as leader, asking donors for a million bucks for her salary. That's excessive. She's a big carbon tax supporter. Oh yeah. Check out her record as mayor. Oh, get out of here. She even increased taxes carbon tax supporter. Oh yeah, check out her record as mayor. Oh, get out of here.

She even increased taxes in this economy. Yeah, higher taxes, carbon taxes. She sounds expensive. Bonnie Crombie and the Ontario Liberals. They just don't get it. That'll cost you. A message from the Ontario PC Party. They say Hollywood is where dreams are made.

A seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored, and capture America's heart. But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune, and lives can disappear in an instant. Follow Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery app I'm Hannah. I'm Saruti. And welcome to Red Handed. And I was going to try and say that in Irish, but I chickened out. Give it a shot. Nope.

I have done two sessions of Duolingo and yet conquered it. Yeah, it's fine. Absolutely fucking fine. What's hello? I can write it down. I can hello? I can write it down. I don't think I can say it properly. Duolingo, not sponsoring this. It's two words.

They both begin with D. Good. We're getting there. Yeah. Anyway. Some of the worst people alive, as we are so unfortunately aware, hide in plain sight. It was literally the name of the book about Jimmy Savile. And over the years, we've seen a raft of squeaky, clean-seeming public figures called to account,

exposed for unthinkable acts of abuse behind closed doors. But what is it like knowing that dynamic from the inside? Amanda Brown's stepfather, Davy Tweed, was a big man in their community in Northern Ireland. Literally, he was a big man, who's six foot six, 20 stone and a rugby player. But also his presence loomed large. Thanks first to his achievements on the rugby field, and then in Northern Irish Unionist politics. Davey Tweed was congratulated and admired wherever he went. But Amanda knew the truth.

That same man that played happy families on the side of the rugby pitch was a volatile, unstoppable juggernaut of physical and sexual abuse, who made Amanda's family life a living hell. Now, at Red Handed, we get sent a lot of books, particularly, obviously, true crime books. I wonder if we should do some sort of car boot sale. We have so many books. We read them once, and then they just sit there taking up loads of space. I know. I think we need to... Or donate them to something then they just sit there taking up loads of space. I know.

I think we need to... Or donate them to something. Yeah. They take up a lot of space in our office. In my neighbourhood, they have little boxes where you take a book, leave a book. Oh, yeah. Or just fill all of the London neighbourhood public little library boxes with true crime books. Yeah, exactly.

It'll make the Daily Mail for sure. And some of them are better than others. And believe me, we have also come across the word brave being very overused when it comes to memoirs and biographies. But we were amazed by Amanda Brown's book. The book is called No Peace Until He's Dead. We would highly recommend that you guys go out, buy it, read it. It's well worth your time. And the title is not exactly subtle. I think it tells you everything you need to know about exactly how many fucks Amanda gives. She shares in this book her entire life story in unflinching detail. And we were super lucky to also have interviewed Amanda for this episode over a call from her home in Belfast. And much like in our Rob Parks episode,

throughout this episode, you are going to hear Amanda speak and tell her story today. You'll hear firsthand what it means to live under that kind of tyranny at home to endure a childhood blighted by the vilest kind of abuse night after night after night definitely not going to be an episode for the faint-hearted so everyone prepare yourselves amanda will also say in her own words how she built up the courage to speak out, how it felt to finally walk in and see her stepfather in a courtroom facing the music and also what it meant for years to walk around town with your abuser while people shouted hero down the street at him. And one more thing before we move on. Amanda was born in the 80s in Northern Ireland.

And if you've listened to our shorthand this week, you will already know that this was a very tense time and place to be. So if you haven't checked out that episode yet, what's wrong with you? Go catch up now. It's all about the troubles and it will put this episode into total context. And it will definitely be useful once we get into Davy's political life a little bit later on. Amanda's parents had been together since they were 14. She was born on the 5th of June, 1980,

before her parents turned 18. Like any good church-going Irish couple who suddenly find themselves in the family way, they got married. They moved into a terrace in North Belfast, but it was all too much, too young. And when Amanda's father cheated, Margaret took Amanda and her brother Aaron, and they all moved in with Margaret's sister. Still, Amanda's memories of her early childhood are vivid, happy, and amazingly clear. Her and her cousin Jessica grew up as close as

sisters, and Amanda recalls paddling pools crisps sandwiches and even the distant roar of lions not because she lives in a jungle it's because her grandparents house backed onto the Belfast Sioux fuck lions don't even live in the jungle do they no it does it they live on the Serengeti the savannah pass be fair, Simba is in the jungle for quite a bit of The Lion King. I mean, we should all take that as a solid, very clear nature documentary. Tiger's Jungle, Lions, Savannah. Yeah. I think.

But I haven't been on safari. I don't know. But then, at a wedding, Amanda's mum met Davy Tweed. At the time, Margaret was still heartbroken. And as a single mother in her early 20s, she was looking for stability. And Davy Tweed promised her exactly that. His huge stature alone projected that stability. He worked on the railways, as he had done with his father since he was a teenager. And between working on the family farm and learning the family trade, Davy was obviously strong, reliable and hardworking.

He was also a star player on his local rugby team and had shown athletic promise from an early age. Now, Davy had been married before, but refused to go into any details about that. Still, the relationship between him and Margaret moved fast. And before long, she, Amanda and Aaron moved in with Tweed. They lived with Davy and his sister Rose in a bungalow in Ballymoney, which is a small village in County Antrim, an hour's drive north of Belfast itself.

Margaret knew no one among its 5,000 or so residents, and the average age in Ballymoney was higher than the church steeple. The only people that ever spoke to her were members of Davy's family. Margaret's life, very quickly, began to revolve around her domestic duties. She'd spend her days making hot meals for Davy, cleaning, tidying and, of course, raising Amanda and Aaron. But it wasn't long at all before Davy started to find fault wherever he could. If Margaret left so much as a fingerprint on a window, Davy Tweed would find it. And he'd say things like he'd worked all day

and Margaret couldn't even keep the house clean. And if you're already shouting leave him down your headphones, it really is not that simple. Far from it. First of all, abusers know what they're doing and he would do this while constantly breaking down Margaret's confidence, telling her that no one else would take in a single mother, she's already been divorced once,

and Davy was just making her feel completely worthless. And then, as Amanda's going to tell you in a minute, there were the added pressures of the time. You know, back then, it was very much, once you were in a relationship or married, that was kind of it. It was a real sin if you even tried to leave your husband because you just done as you were told. When you got married, you were in servitude. It was like what you would kind of think that a 50s housewife

would be like. That's what we were kind of like in the 80s still. Here in Northern Ireland, mum was in servitude to him and the house had to be spotless. The dinners had to be made, you know, to his liking and they had to be hot on the table when he came in home from work. And she'd done everything, bar wiping his backside, but everything. And that is kind of the way it was. And you don't complain about it, you know, because that was your job. Still, no life or childhood is simple. And it wasn't all bad. Amanda remembers snapshots of Davy as a fun, silly dad too. He'd burst into their room in the morning, air-guitaring to status quo. And when he was in a good mood, the family home could be a nice place to be. But when he turned, he became violent.

The first time he hit Margaret, it was because a man supposedly looked at her wrong in the street. And it didn't take long to escalate. Soon, Davy was punching her for minutes at a time, kicking her into a corner or dragging her around the room by her hair. They were still at this time in Davy's sister's house, but she and their neighbours turned a blind eye. And soon, Davy, Margaret, Amanda and Aaron

moved into a home of their own. And then, Margaret became pregnant. Davy was delighted, and everybody hoped that this would calm him down. But as we have seen, time and time and time again before on this show, of course it only made him worse. When Margaret was just 24, she ran a bath to help with her pregnancy pains. And while she was in said bath, Davy returned from drinking at the rugby club. Not being able to find his key, he started pounding on the door. Margaret got out of the bath and ran

downstairs as fast as she could, but it wasn't fast enough. Tweed dragged Margaret by her hair upstairs and then pummeled her with his fists. Hearing his fury of shouting and the obvious sounds of assault, neighbours called the police. But when the police realised what had happened, officers just shrugged at the bruised, bloody, pregnant Mary and left. Younger listeners or perhaps our United States friends might not have come across the phrase just a domestic before. But what it is, is it's a dismissive term to describe physical fights between a husband and a wife. The implication being that the problems are domestic, i.e. between the husband and wife.

And no matter how viscerally bad it gets, it's their family business, not the police's. And that attitude was around for a very long time and arguably still is in some places. Oh, 100%. I think we've talked about this before on the show. Like, why is it that an assault, if it took place outside of the home between two strangers, for example, would be treated completely differently to the same assault taking place between a husband and a wife, or a husband and a husband, or a wife and a wife behind closed doors? That attitude is still there. And I haven't followed sort of what she's been doing about this that closely but i did watch an interview with mel

b quite recently where she was saying the same thing she was like why do we even differentiate using the word domestic what does it mean domestic abuse we get it it's it's to label the specific type of abuse but why when it comes to our policing of that is it treated differently because she's been through an absolute nightmarish relationship and thankfully she's out of that and kind of moving on with her life and trying really to lead this campaign so yeah it's still very much a problem yeah i'm jake warren and in our first season of finding i set out on a very personal quest to find the woman who saved my mom's life you can listen to finding natasha right now exclusively on wondery plus in season two i found myself caught up in a new journey to help someone i've never even met. But a couple of years ago, I came across a social media post by a person named Loti. It read in part,

Three years ago today that I attempted to jump off this bridge, but this wasn't my time to go. A gentleman named Andy saved my life. I still haven't found him. This is a story that I came across purely by chance, but it instantly moved me. And it's taken me to a place where I've had to consider some deeper issues around mental health. This is season two of Finding. And this time, if all goes to plan, we'll be finding Andy. You can listen to Finding Andy and Finding Natasha

exclusively and ad-free on Wondery+. Join Wondery in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. He was hip-hop's biggest mogul, the man who redefined fame, fortune, and the music industry. The first male rapper to be honored on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Sean Diddy Combs. Diddy built an empire and lived a life most people only dream about. Everybody know ain't no party like a Diddy party, so. Yeah, that's what's up. But just as quickly as his empire rose, it came crashing down.

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with Wondery Plus. On another occasion, a social worker came around and told Margaret that it was up to her to tell Davey Tweed to leave. Margaret told the social worker that he was violent and she was worried about how he would take the news. And the social worker told Margaret that it was her choice. She had to tell Davy to leave or she would never see her children again. And then the social worker left. Here's Amanda. I have no way of rationalising that. I think they absolutely threw my mum under a bus. They were aware of how violent he was. There was no, we'll try and rehome you somewhere else if that's not possible. It was just that those are your two options. Either lose your children or you go and face this man. And we don't care what the consequences of

that are going to be. We don't care if he turns in you and murders you. That's for you to deal with. You worry about that, that's a you problem. You know, even now, I think it's awful to leave anybody in that kind of a situation. I think it's tied to how disjointed our services are here and how inadequate they are, particularly whenever it comes to child protection issues and domestic abuse situations like we have experienced.

Because where was she supposed to put her children whenever she was confronting him and asking him to leave, knowing full well that he was as violent as what he was? And it wasn't just the authorities. One Christmas, Margaret's brothers came to stay with them. And when Davy came home to see one of them sleeping on the sofa, he went berserk, punching and kicking him and dragging him out onto the street. When Margaret asked him to stop, Davy turned on her. He beat her senseless, and the police were called again. When they pulled up, Davy told Margaret that if she made a sound, he'd kill her.

The police came in, saw Margaret's bloody and bruised face, but still, once again, just left them to it. The next day, Christmas morning, Davy's mother came round, and when she saw the devastation, smashed presents, a torn down tree, and Margaret's obvious injuries, what did she decide to do? She took the kids off to hers and left the couple alone to sort the row out. Margaret and Davy spent the rest of Christmas Day alone in that house. Amanda remembers that for weeks after that, her mother

Margaret winced whenever she moved. It was so bad that she couldn't even leave the house. On another occasion, Davy took Margaret out to the woods and showed her where he would bury her when he eventually killed her. It was terrifying. He had threatened to kill my mum many times. It was bad enough to see her face in the beginning, you know, and see the bruises and marks in the beginning but whenever he started like being more upfront about it we didn't care whether we heard him screaming or shouting or not he didn't care whether we heard him you know

thumping her and we did we heard his fist crashing into her body to a point where he started throwing her into our bedroom and making her through tears and blood and snot telling us that she deserved the beating that she was getting and you know for him then to so roughly pick her up and drag her out of the room whether it was by the hair or by the arm or by the neck. This man was six foot six. He was a rugby player. You know, he was a big powerhouse. And my mum was five foot two. He was like a giant, a big, angry giant. We were all terrified of him.

We felt at peace when he wasn't there. But as soon as we knew he was on his way home from work or whatever, you know, that's when the anxiety and the fear would really set in. The abuse only got worse. And it wasn't just Margaret's life that Davy was terrorising. Not even close. One day, when Amanda was six, she told her mum that she'd noticed blood in her underwear. When Margaret told Davy, he told his sister, who was a nurse. The sister asked if there was anyone who could have been interfering with little Amanda. Davy immediately pointed the finger at a local man with learning disabilities

who had given them sweets when they were playing outside. But Amanda said no. She had no memory of anyone doing anything. But she couldn't explain her recent nightmares, when she felt like she'd woken up glued to the bed, unable to move or make a sound. Soon after that, Davey Tweed turned his violence on Amanda as well. First off, it was punishment for catching her weeing in a bush, but soon enough he would punish her for even the smallest imagined transgression. And soon Amanda learned to cry in her room without making a sound. And like so many other children who suffer abuse, she found ways to blame herself.

Then one night, when Amanda was eight years old, she woke up to use the bathroom. Her bedroom door opened right out into the living room, and when she opened the door, she could see Davy on the sofa. She could also see that there were naked adults on the TV screen. When Davy saw her, he didn't flinch. He just asked her to come closer. He then asked his eight-year-old stepdaughter to keep an eye on him while he napped and to wake him up for work. He told her to sit on the chair while he sat on the floor with his head against her legs. But when it seemed like he was fast asleep, his head rolled over.

He grabbed Amanda's leg, pulled her towards him and assaulted her. Staying silent so as not to wake anyone, Amanda hit at him, trying to wake him up. Finally, he yawned and rolled away and asked why she was crying. And then he told her that he'd been half asleep and must have mistaken her for her mum. And then Davy told Amanda that if she told anybody about what had just happened, that he'd go to jail and that her and her sisters and their mum would be out on the street. Then he pulled her back towards him and started masturbating. And almost every night for years after that the abuse continued a few months later amanda had an idea she asked davy tweed to adopt her by this time she had four younger sisters who were all

biologically davies and in amanda's eight-year-old mind becoming a part of his family like the others would mean that he would have to stop coming into her room at night but amanda overestimated davy tweed the only change after she took his name was that she heard it every day when the register was called at school she was legally bound to him now and the abuse just carried on so sad i can see the logic yeah absolutely i mean she's a child and she's hoping that perhaps this small change might save her from this abuse because he'd start seeing her as actually his daughter the naive child logic of it is just so heartbreaking. Now, the entire time that this abuse was taking place, Margaret had no idea. And Davy's violence against her was only escalating.

And a few times over the years, Margaret did come close to leaving for good. Once, when she was so badly beaten she could barely move, her father came with a van and took them to Belfast. Amanda remembers sitting with her siblings on the suitcases, pretending that they were on a rocket ship. But that same night, Davy turned up screaming at the flat, threatening to smash the windows if they didn't come home.

So they returned. And I think, yeah, it's just the same story, whatever era we're in, wherever it's taking place, it's such a common pattern. And we all know that the times in which a woman is most at risk from a violent partner is when she's pregnant, which Margaret's already been through, or when she tries to leave him. And you can absolutely just empathise with the sheer pain and panic that Margaret would have been going through. She tries to escape. She tries to do her best to get out of this situation. And she does what anybody would do. She tries to go back to her family. But then she's aware that Davey's not the kind of man who's going to give up and he's going to come there and put her family at risk. So yeah, she goes back. Then sometime later there's another violent incident. In this,

Davy ends up pushing Margaret physically out of the house. And when the baby wouldn't stop crying, he threw the baby after her. She walked to the station and got the train to Belfast. But by the time she got to her parents' street, Davy's car was already there, waiting. She ducked into a nearby garden to try and hide. But then the baby started crying. And he found them. Meanwhile, Amanda carried the guilt and shame of her experiences wherever she went.

And when Davy started mocking her weight, she stopped eating. One night, as usual, she heard his footsteps creaking up the stairs. And he came into the bedroom that Amanda shared with her two sisters. It had been years of the same abuse, and Amanda had just stopped trying to fight it. So, as Davy Tweed approached, she stayed perfectly still. But then, her sister, suddenly awake, asked Davy Tweed what he was doing. And he froze. Amanda was terrified of what would happen next. But he just calmly replied that he'd come in to say goodnight. He did his trousers up and left.

And that was the last time Davey Tweed ever abused Amanda. And it's interesting why that particular incident made him stop. I don't know. No. Because he's obviously very plainly for everybody to see

beating the shit out of his wife. Nobody really seems to care too much about that. Is it because it's a whole other thing if anybody finds out he's touching kids? But the fact that another daughter sees him, why does that make him stop? I don't know. It's unusual. Maybe he thinks he's playing it too close to the edge now.

Maybe. I think you're right in that, like, it's been made very clear to him that he can do whatever the fuck he wants to Margaret because, I mean, he's just the police and social workers have told him his mind basically but even for an upstanding orange man that no one's going to defend a child rapist yeah so now you all have a picture of Mr Davy Tweed the child rapist so now it's time we introduce you to Davy Tweed, the child rapist. So now it's time we introduce you to Davy Tweed, the local hero. He'd always been, like we said, a capable rugby player, and at 35

he played his first match for Ireland. He represented the country at the Rugby World Cup that same year. It's interesting how they don't care about partition when it comes to sport, isn't it? And also 35 to play your first match, that's interesting. Well, they just don't have about partition when it comes to sports, no? And also 35 to play your first match. That's interesting. Well, they just don't have

that many. And over the next few years, Davy played for Ulster. And in their small town, this was a big, big deal. People would call out to him in the street. Groups of boys would wave to him everywhere he went.

Kids idolised him. Even Amanda's own brother started to talk about Davy differently. And what you're about to hear is Amanda speaking about this adoration, and she's 15 at the time. There was a lot of polite smiling and nodding throughout that time inside. I would have felt nearly like I was burning on the inside and I was kind of hoping that it didn't show outwardly throughout school because of the rugby you know that's people always knew me as Davy Tweed's daughter I wasn't known as anything else I didn't have my own identity and a lot of my peers I went to a big rugby school as well so even my teachers thought he was brilliant.

People seen him as a sporting hero. He played for Austria, he played for Ireland, especially in somewhere like Northern Ireland where we're quite small. And, you know, whenever people do well, we like to celebrate them. We like to let them know that we're proud of them. I had a secret that I needed to hold on to through fear of what would happen to my family if anybody else found out. And yeah, it was very, very difficult to hear people speak of him in such, just in the way that they really admired him. A lot of my peers did as well.

So it was difficult to pretend that I agreed with them and that I was also proud of them. And that was my mask that I had to keep on so that people didn't find out the truth of what was actually happening. Davy was making waves in the Ballymoney community. And his reputation as a very good Protestant and family man followed all of them around wherever they went. And Davy started to turn up at local council meetings, as well as meetings for a bunch of Protestant organisations. As we already know, he was a very active member of the Orange Order

and the Apprentice Boys and the Black Preceptory, which are basically the same things, but a bit smaller. They're all fraternal Protestant societies founded in the 1700s. They're theological groups sworn to maintain Protestant ascendancy in Ireland. Anyway, these days, unionist groups are best known, as we know, for their marches through the streets of Northern Ireland. And for anybody listening who wants to understand more about what exactly an Orangeman is, or wants to know more about the marches that we're going to be talking about,

I would highly recommend checking out this week's shorthand on the Troubles. It will help put the rest of this episode into context politically. And when one of these very marches broke out into protests, Davy Tweed was seen to stand up for his community against the police. Riding this wave of public adoration, he ramped up the public servant shtick. He started picketing Catholic churches, standing outside and shouting that the priests inside were all paedophiles. And soon he decided to get into local politics. He was voted in as the DUP councillor for Harryville in 1997. Now, before we hear from Amanda about this particular point, I do think it is very interesting, but not surprising

that he is going and standing outside catholic churches uh screaming that they're all a bunch of uh pedophiles and child rapists maybe there's something in it that he thinks it's fine if he's uh doing it to quote unquote his own property there's no doubt that he saw his children and his wife like that but also maybe there's something in it to, well, they're girls. I'm not a fucking gay. I'm sure there's something there. I completely agree. How could he possibly square two sides of himself?

Pedophile and pedophile basher, wife beater and family man. Well, Amanda says that quite often they were exactly the same thing. The same things that made Davey Tweed an abuser also made him a success. He was one person outside and a different person inside, although there were elements of who he was in the house, bled into his political career, his political career and his sporting career, because on the pitch, he was very aggressive. And that's how he made his name. And that's how he got where he got to with his rugby was because of how aggressive he was on the pitch. And the same with the politics, he was very, you know, aggressive and, you know, nearly like leading someone into battle.

You know, whenever there were various protests and things going on he was always at the front and being confrontational with the police but people still didn't look at him and think oh he's beating his wife you know or abusing his children the person that he was outside he was this doting father you know and he was very protective of his children especially his daughters if we were at the rugby matches, it would have been nearly as soon as he got into the car and closed the car door. There was a difference. It was like Jekyll and Hyde. Very often you couldn't have risked assuming what sort of mood he was in. You had to wait and gauge what sort of mood he was in before you even spoke to him

because sometimes saying good morning could just set him off. Now the silver lining to all this public adoration of a serial abuser was that Davey was mercifully busy. He'd frequently be out all day and all evening at secret stonecutter-style meetings with the Orange Order. But still, if he came back angry, he'd take it all out on Margaret. Once when she attempted to fight back, Davy choked her so hard that she passed out. And Margaret knew that the next time he raised a hand to her, it would probably be the end.

So Margaret phoned the police and soon a taxi arrived to take her to a women's refuge. But there was one problem. There was only room for all the younger kids. They didn't have a bed at the refuge for Amanda. So Amanda stayed behind, in the house, on her own. She locked herself in her bedroom and waited for Davy to return. And it's just one of those moments where you see the level of Amanda's selflessness. Her priority all the way through is to her mother and her sisters. Even if it meant facing Davy alone.

And it really feels like that image you have earlier of when she's living at her grandparents' house and she can hear the lions roaring from the zoo. It feels like now she is trapped in the actual lion's den with this man on her. It's heartbreaking. I would say I was sick with nerves. Do you know, and I just locked myself in my room and just hoped that he wouldn't kick my door down. But, do you know, I knew that I had to do that to make sure that she was away. Do you know, to make sure that she was away somewhere safe

because to me this was her opportunity of freedom. I was willing to sacrifice myself so she could get that. When Davy Tweed finally came home, he went upstairs and knocked on Amanda's bedroom door. As soon as Amanda had moved into her own bedroom away from her sister's, she had pleaded for a lock on it, saying to her mum that it was because her sister's kept barging in on her. But it was always to keep Davy out, and now she needed it more than ever. He asked where her mother and her sisters were, and she said that she didn't know.

She stood shaking in anticipation of the fury to come. But Davy Tweed just silently returned downstairs, perhaps biding his time, weighing up his next move. That's so much worse. Yeah, so much worse. Obviously none of it is of it is good yeah no it's the waiting the feeling of her knowing that's gonna come but just not knowing when and again the bravery of this child to not tell this man who is probably the man she's more scared of than anyone else in her entire life i think children who go through this are probably

not scared of monsters hiding under their beds because of the abuse they're going through on a daily basis. But she stands up to him and doesn't tell him where her mother and the other kids are. For the rest of the week, Amanda spent her days out with friends or at college.

And at nights, she locked her bedroom. But that Sunday, Davy Tweed took her to his parents' house. And the three of them sat Amanda down and grilled her. It's so sick. Yeah. They told Amanda that she was duty-bound to tell them where her mother was. Because if she didn't, she would be the one breaking up the family.

Which is just astonishingly vile. But Amanda kept her word and didn't say anything. Which, in the face of now three adults emotionally blackmailing you, putting all this societal, culture, familial pressure on you for her to still not say anything. Well, it's astonishingly brave. Again, it feels like such a pointless word to use yeah but that's what she is so after this amanda's life was difficult she dropped out of college but she did eventually manage to join her mother and her sisters at a refuge in coleraine they were finally safe safe. They made meals together, got to be a normal

family. They chatted with other families. They became a tight-knit community. Amanda finally felt secure, like they were finally, finally free. But Margaret started acting increasingly withdrawn and something slowly dawned on Amanda. Her mother was going to go back. And in this community, even though they are Protestant, and even though it is technically allowed, leaving your partner was just not done. And keeping a man from his children, or even being seen to, was even worse. and you can listen to our episode on the Kerry babies for more of a background on this but Margaret probably had very little education like something like 70% of Irish women didn't work during this time period like she she kind

of doesn't have much choice no and everybody thinks he's a fucking hero. Like, yes, within the confines of this shelter that they're in, the other women there, the other families there understand what Margaret's going through. But that's all she has. That's not going to put bread on the table. That's not going to feed her kids. That's not going to put a roof over their heads. She has so little choice. And that's not the only reason that so many people do go back to their abusers. It's difficult to understand the way that domestic abuse and domestic violence impacts you. It absolutely destroys you. You are a shell. You're unable to think for yourself. You know, there's no such thing as independent thinking whenever you are in a domestic violence situation. And, you know, especially with someone that is the way he is, the way he was so able to control himself outside of the house, but inside was so very manipulative and volatile. And, you know, there was a lot of control, a lot of coercive control that went on between him and my mum. Over years, he told her that she wasn't good enough and nobody else would

want her. And, you know, she needed him. You know, anytime she tried to get a job, he would berate her for it and make her feel worthless. And he just done what he could to break down every ounce of confidence that she may have had and she wasn't starting off with much but he destroyed her as a person and made her feel entirely dependent on him and he would have given her these wee glimmers of the nice guy that he put on in front of everybody else so it was those wee glimmers that pulled her back in again. Do you know that hope that he would be that person that she thought he was in the beginning? It's almost like an addiction is the best way

that I could probably explain it, that you cannot live without them. So when they show you this glimmer and make you feel special again then you have that those feelings of love coming back in again and you've got that rush and that high and that's why you end up back again in the end margaret called david tweed and after professions of love apologies and promises of marriage counseling and anger management marg Margaret agreed to see him. Before long, they were all back in his house.

And naturally he didn't follow through on any of his promises. Anger management classes, he said, would ruin his reputation as a counsellor. So inevitably, things went right back to the way they were. Amanda got a part-time job and mostly stayed away. But then, one conversation started a domino effect that would change everything. They say Hollywood is where dreams are made. A seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored, and capture America's heart.

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Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial today. Caroline, a close friend of Margaret's, came around to talk to her one day. She said that her daughter had confessed that she had been abused by Davy Tweed. It was clear from Margaret's reaction that not only had she never known or suspected this, but also that for her this was way beyond the pale. All those years of hell for Margaret were one thing, but she had never in her wildest imagination suspected this. And I think it's such a typical thing.

I think these days we're much more aware of the idea that a grown adult could sexually abuse a child. I think at that time, this idea, I just don't think would have ever occurred to anybody. I don't think it was in anybody's sort of vocabulary. So I can't even imagine the horror of being told this. But Margaret does the right thing. She told her friend Caroline to go straight to the police. Amanda, meanwhile, kept her experience to herself. It was just too much and she couldn't bring herself to speak just yet. It was because, again, of the fear of what he would do to my mum or me even at that point. It was just because he had threatened to burn the house down, you know, with my mum and my sisters in it.

And I believed that he was capable of that. I had no reason to believe that he wouldn't do it. So, you know, at that time, it was that fear because he was still in the house. I was just, I was so frightened of what he would do. I also think for Amanda, watching her mother's reaction to her friend telling her that her daughter has been abused and Margaret falling apart in the way that she does, there's no way that Amanda's not going to realise. If she finds out that he was doing it to me, my mother is going to die. And we see throughout her entire

young life, Amanda's role as the eldest daughter has very much been the protector of her mother. So an investigation was launched. And when Tweed next came home, Margaret told him that the police had been in touch with allegations, but that she didn't believe them. Again, Davy Tweed was characteristically unfazed. Not shocked, not concerned, nothing. But he did pack a bag and leave. I'd love to see a scan of his brain. A few days later, another girl came forward saying that Davy Tweed had abused her as a child too. And Margaret took it hard. She felt the feelings of guilt build up inside her.

Certain she should have seen something. And she was sure that she was the one to blame. Amanda also felt guilty for thinking that she was the only one. And now she felt even worse for keeping it to herself. But she wouldn't for much longer. The next day, her brother Aaron came round

and asked her directly, did Davy abuse you? It was a shock for Amanda. She wasn't ready. But she says that she understands. I understand why I did it. Because whenever you love and care about someone you do, you just want justice for them. And you want to protect them.

So I understand entirely why I did it. I don't have any issues with that. You know, and it takes a lot to get yourself to a place of being, you know, mentally and emotionally ready. You know, it's not even just of being you know mentally and emotionally ready you know it's not even just about you know being emotionally ready you need to know that you've got the right support around you as well to be able to do it you know and it's it's hard and it takes a lot of work to get to that place even and the next day Aaron went to the police they phoned Amanda and asked if she would be willing to make a statement. She said that she didn't know.

She told them parts of her story, but couldn't make an official complaint. She still wasn't ready. By this point, Amanda was married and her husband had no idea. I can't even imagine that feeling of keeping such a big secret and knowing that there is so much pressure on you now to reveal this thing about your past that even your husband doesn't know. So Amanda started going on long walks with her dog Buster and she started telling him everything. everything? It started off just the bits and pieces of memories that I did have. And that's where talking to Buster came in. But the more I spoke to him about those, the more that these other memories started to come in. And that is what afforded me to, you know, I've likened it to putting together a jigsaw puzzle. We are not sure of what the picture is, but you've just got all the pieces here. So just talking to him helped trigger other memories and afforded me the

opportunity then to put my jigsaw puzzle together. There is still that level of dissociation and emotional detachment, you know, where it's almost like I'm telling this story. But, you know, it's like I'm separating my inner child from me and I'm telling this child's story. Yeah, it does, it gets easier. Do you know, the more you talk, the easier it gets and the closer that little child and I become. We'll see how it goes when we're fully aligned. He'll be a mess.

In the run-up to the trial trial the community was rife with chatter and everyone had an opinion disappointingly most people followed the same tired line since people knew amanda as davy's stepdaughter they would stop her in the street and say what a shame it was that all of these girls were lying and it was obvious that the great man had done nothing wrong and all Amanda said was there's no smoke without fire. We asked Amanda what she would say

to those that tend to doubt alleged victims that say that they're doing it all for attention and making it up to cause trouble. People will not go through the court process as it is currently anyway just for attention. There are other ways of getting attention. The entire process from telling somebody your story initially, the wait you have like a three-year wait from you first report until it actually gets to court, to then be interrogated

in court, you know, in front of your abuser. People don't do that just for attention. They don't do that just to say mean things about somebody else. It's an incredible challenging process. It's a traumatic process. Not any part of it is easy or nice I was told that my mum put me up to it just to do him down you know and my response to the barrister was my mum has enough on her own to do him down without the pain of watching her daughters go through this experience and that's the whole court process in itself as I say is trauma in itself without the added trauma of your childhood abuse being on display for everybody to hear you're in front of a jury of 12 people you've got the barristers you've got family you know not just my family his family were there as well they are members the public, the gallery of press that were there as well.

You know, it's not something that you do just for fun. People don't want to believe that this sort of thing exists in their communities. So when someone speaks about this, then it's difficult to believe. You don't want to believe that that's happening next door you don't want to believe that one in five houses in this street has somebody being abused in it and I think society generally you know has a long way to go in terms of how it treats victims how it views victims you know we're very quick to blame the victim well why didn't you speak up sooner well I was a child and even you know to be asked things about what you were wearing and what pajamas you were wearing and things like that it's it's

I was a child Northern Ireland has some of the longest waiting times for sexual assault cases to come to trial in many instances victims wait up two years, trapped in a painstaking limbo, not being able to fully get on with their lives. In fact, even today, fewer than one in ten rape cases in Northern Ireland over the past year even went to court. But finally, after two years, the day of the trial came. Margaret attended every single day, even though it must have been excruciating for her. The accusers came ready with dates and times of the incidents. But Davy and his lawyers counted these with work timesheets, showing that he was at work on all the alleged occasions. Margaret knew immediately what he'd done. He had often bragged about how easy timesheets

were to forge and how he'd often write them up and make up times for when he was asleep in his van. The jury found Davy Tweed not guilty. He was acquitted and for the community this was all the proof they needed. Case closed. For Amanda, Margaret and his other victims, it was devastating. I felt so disappointed for the two women who had taken him to court. I felt really, really disappointed for them and a lot of guilt for me not having spoken up or taken the opportunity to have spoken up at that time. If I had have been there, would those extra charges have made a difference? So with his name cleared, Davey Tweed just went back to his old life. He went out drinking, strutting about town, hanging out in bars with women who were younger than Amanda.

It was his attitude, you know, it was like Mr Big, he was just so cocky and confident out walking around. And it was almost as if he was rubbing our noses in it. That's what it felt like, whether that is what his intention was or not is another matter. But that's what it felt like. And there he is out, largest life, strutting the streets as if he owns them. That was hard to see. You know, I was sitting with all the guilt that I was carrying and he was walking around with his head and shoulders up. You know, there was like, how have you managed to get away with this? And how do you not have any shame for what you have done? And finally, it was too much. Amanda told her husband, and then resolved to make a full statement. The police came straight round to pick her up, and she told her whole story,

from the beginning until it was dark outside. And one by one, Amanda's sisters spoke up too. To Amanda's horror, it had happened to every single one of them. And each had thought that they were the only one. Incredibly, Davy was still getting visitation rights with his four biological daughters. And the only supervision was his own sister. And then he started turning up everywhere. When Amanda left work, he was sitting in his car across the street.

She couldn't escape him. And the weight of all of this was just too much. Amanda had to deal with the experiences of abuse themselves and then the guilt and then perhaps a trial approaching and now Davy himself was stalking her, taunting her wherever she went. After her Aunt Rose died, Amanda sunk into a deep depression. She texted her husband that she was going away and wasn't coming back. I had to get away from the situation. I was at a point where I was planning on ending my own life.

I had the plan in place, I had the means. I knew what I was doing, I knew when I was doing it. I was packing things up and organising and doing what I needed to do. I had letters written and I didn't want to pack up and tidy too much in case people noticed. But I knew where everything was and there were clear instructions on the letter for things to be organized and passed out to whoever and it was the death of my mom's sister and she also died by suicide and it was seeing the impact that that had on my mum I knew I couldn't do that on her you know I had to find another way and so the only way that I could see was to escape

everything and move like I left everything behind I just got up and left everything behind and and I moved to Belfast. I was still in a very dark, deep hole. I still did not want to survive. I still did not want to be here, but I had to. Do you know, I felt like I had no other choice because I could not do that to my mum. There were days that I got through days just hour by hour. There were days I sat, the majority of my day, I could probably draw the pattern of the wood chip wallpaper. It's so deeply ingrained in my mind from just staring at it all day. But having to get up every day and try and get through your day, knowing that you don't actually even want to exist,

that you don't want to be there. It's such a struggle. And I'm so glad that I did struggle through it. It's not that I moved away and my life miraculously turned around. I sat in the dark for a very, very long time until, you know, the darkness started to fade. And then she got a call. There would be another court hearing.

Eight women had now come forward and given statements about abuse that they had suffered as children at the disgraceful hands of Davy Tweed. That's the two original accusers, plus Amanda, her four sisters and her cousin. They all chose to attend the new trial, apart from one. Tragically, Amanda's cousin Gemma took her own life at the age of 20, just two weeks before the trial. Amanda was offered by the court the opportunity to attend via video link but she chose to be in the room she walked in and there he was

do you know when he was sitting the big smug grin on his face with two prison guards either either side of him whenever I had followed my sister in on one of the times and seen it I was filled with rage. I was incandescent because that's my wee sister. And that's his daughter, his firstborn. And he held her as a tiny baby when she was unwell with pneumonia and yet did all of those things to her and still had the audacity to grin smugly in her direction when she was in absolute pieces on the stand. The trial was weeks long. One after the other, the women were

interrogated. Amanda and her family were told that the jury had come to a decision on the first count, one of indecent assault. David Tweed was found not guilty. They couldn't believe it. Surely this couldn't happen again. The court was adjourned and they retreated to the family's room to regroup. Finally, they were called to hear the remaining verdicts. Everybody else went up to the court, so I was in the family room on regroup. Finally, they were called to hear the remaining verdicts. Everybody else went up to the court, so I was in the family room of my own, and I just heard squealing coming down the corridor, and I recognised it as being my aunt, one of my mum's other sisters. And I just thought, oh, he's been found not guilty and everything.

And that's just what I had thought until she burst through the doors of the room and said he's been found guilty. And I didn't believe her initially because I was just like, what was all that screaming about then? You know, because she sounded as if she was in, you know, emotional pain. Shortly after she had come in, everybody else started coming in and my mum just hugged me. And she was like, yeah, yous have done it. Yous have done it. He's been found guilty. I felt that we had done it for the other two women that came forward to start off with, and everybody else that had spoken up afterwards.

David Tweed was found guilty on 13 counts of gross indecency and all the remaining counts of indecent assault. At sentencing on the 25th of January, he was given eight years, which astonishingly is the maximum term possible for his charges, which is mind-blowing. And as he was sentenced, Davy Tweed blew kisses to the gallery. In prison, Davy Tweed was well looked after. It was known in the town that he was being afforded all sorts of privileges. The UVF, another loyalist group, believed in his innocence and made sure he was protected while he was inside. I would add that the UVF is slightly more than a loyalist group.

They are a paramilitary unit. And then his convictions were quashed on the most technical of technicalities. Davies' defence team had been appealing, saying that the jury at his trial hadn't been fully briefed over the so-called bad character clause. The Court of Appeals granted it and said that he'd already served four years so he wouldn't be retried.

And on the 25th of October 2016, Davey Tweed was released. Five years later, in October 2021, Tweed was riding his motorbike down White Park Bay Road in Dunasverick. It was a bright, dry summer day, and he was a free man. But, always impatient, he was overtaking, and he lost control, and he came off his motorbike.

His neck snapped as it hit the tarmac, and he died instantly. And incredibly, despite his four years served for being convicted in a court of law for raping children. Tributes in the Northern Irish media poured out. North Antrim MP Ian Paisley, fucking thunderclap, said this, To his family, I send my condolences and heartfelt prayers at what must be an unimaginably heartbreaking time for them. And then Jim McAllister, leader of the TUP, said, Davy, a larger-than-life character, was widely known across North Antrim and further afield.

I express my deepest sympathy to his grieving family at this very difficult time. But the only thing Davy Tweed's quote-unquote grieving family were regretting is that his death hadn't come sooner. And I'd seen the tributes pouring in. That was the point in time that I felt I needed to speak out publicly because I didn't want him being hailed a hero. There was a new roundabout in Balamony outside the rugby club and I just had visions of them naming this roundabout after him

or putting some sort of memorial on the roundabout for him. You know, because it's not just the lives of the people he abused. He's destroyed the lives of many. You know, he's destroyed relationships. He's destroyed so many people and he doesn't and didn't deserve to be remembered as a hero. These days, Amanda Brown lives in North Belfast with her family and runs her own holistic therapy business. She specialises in women's wellness and helps her clients find balance and serenity in their lives. She says life is good. Life is really good now. We've come a long way from the dark days and every day just gets a little bit better. And as I say, I don't think I'll ever be finished healing and growing, but I also think that that's a good thing that I have the opportunity to heal and grow.

Life's brilliant. I love what I do in terms of my complementary therapies. And, you know, I use the fact that I have experienced that trauma to be able to bring some level of trauma awareness to my my treatments as well so it's good to be able to support people you know through some of their own situations as well but yeah it's just recognizing whenever you're getting close to burnout there's nothing wrong with you you. It's a trauma response as a result of what happened to you. It's not that there is something wrong with you or that there's something bad within you. It's recognising that where it comes from and being able to put myself out there, I guess, you know, in terms of being open to receiving, you know, love and whatever from other people. Of course she still lives with the scars of what

happened. We asked her if she could talk to that scared little girl now what would she say? I would probably let her know that everything's going to be okay that we've got it you know that these things that have happened to her are terrible but she is still so loved and she didn't deserve any of that. If you see any shades of your own experience in Amanda's story or that you suspect someone you know is suffering in silence we've got some very final words from Amanda for you. Things do get better. Everybody has their own path to healing and my path to healing is not going to look the same as anybody else's. But keep moving, keep moving forward. There is a path to the other side. It is difficult. There is support out there. Seek it out. And what I have actually

found in spite of me believing that the majority of people would be against me for speaking out, I have received so much support from people who don't know me. There have been family members who have turned their back, but there has been so much love and support from other people. And that support still remains. And, you know, there is support. There's professional support. But yeah, just keep moving through it. It does get better. It will get better. And you have to be committed to making it better for yourself. She's so inspiring. think that's it. I think, you know, we can't unfortunately skirt around these cases when we do the kind of podcasts we do. And when we got sent Amanda's book, we knew as soon as we read it that we had to tell her story or at least give her the platform to tell her own story to all of you. Thank you, Amanda, so much for sitting down and doing that interview with us. I think stories

like this, they're already so powerful, but they're even more powerful when we can hear the person's own words. And also, yeah, go check out Amanda's Holistic Therapy Business if you're in North Belfast. But more importantly, buy her book, No Peace Until He's Dead, because it is fantastic. It's absolutely worth a read. And Amanda deserves it. So, yeah, definitely a difficult episode but we hope you know you took something away from it and uh yeah just next time you're going through a rough time remember amanda brown and we'll see you guys next week or something else bye

you don't believe in ghosts? I get it. Lots of people don't. I didn't either, until I came face to face with them. Ever since that moment, hauntings, spirits, and the unexplained have consumed my entire life. I'm Nadine Bailey. I've been a ghost tour guide for the past 20 years. I've taken people along with me into the shadows,

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