RedHanded - RedHaunted #8 - That Child Looks Scared!

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

RedHaunted is back, and in video form (for all $10+ Patrons)!  This time we learn three key things: Pennsylvania is the land of civil war ghosts.  Don’t steal from haunted attics. If your child starts chatting with a ghost in the basement, don’t keep digging. If you have a spooky story of your own, send it to [e-mail] BOOK! Pre-order your RedHanded book here: https://linktr.ee/RedHanded_Book If you’d like to watch this episode of RedHaunted or get your hands on any of the masses of RedHanded bonus content available visit: patreon.com/redhanded   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Red Handed early and ad-free. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. So, get this. The Ontario Liberals elected Bonnie Crombie as their new leader. Bonnie who? I just sent you her profile. Her first act as leader, asking donors for a million bucks for her salary. That's excessive. She's a big carbon tax supporter. Oh yeah. Check out her record as mayor. Oh, get out of here. She even increased taxes carbon tax supporter. Oh, yeah. Check out her record as mayor. Oh, get out of here.

She even increased taxes in this economy. Yeah, higher taxes, carbon taxes. She sounds expensive. Bonnie Crombie and the Ontario Liberals. They just don't get it. That'll cost you. A message from the Ontario PC Party. Get ready for Las Vegas-style action at BetMGM,

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BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hello everyone, welcome to my pod i live in here now i've been in here all day so i was like do you want some lunch what are you doing it's like no i'm not just staying in here all day staying

in your sauna pod my little sauna airplane pod yeah um if you uh don't know what i'm talking about uh you could be watching this on video and you're not and that's a decision you have made um so yeah we're trying something new with red haunted we are aware that it's an extremely popular piece of content uh in fact some of my own friends will say oh yeah i'm not that bothered about red handed red haunted though fucking fantastic i'm like oh is that a compliment is it thank you ever so much that's so bizarre okay so if you've never listened to red haunted before here's the fucking deal what we do is you guys send us your creepiest ghost stories and then hannah and i read them to each other uh we used to do this like in the weird

little boxes that we record our other episodes in but what we realized is like it's quite scary to stand in that box and talk about some of the fucking weird shit that you guys have sent us. And we've had like such a good response to people just really enjoying more video based content from us that we thought, why not try Red Haunted in the same way? So this is the first time ever we are trying Red Haunted as a video and as audio. So if you are listening to this audio only, but you're like, like hey where's the video um go watch that instead i think for the moment we're posting them on patreon but available to anybody but we will eventually just be posting them all on our brand new youtube channel that we're gonna start oh whoa dropping the youtube bomb

yeah we're we're trying it out um we've uh we've decided that maybe we don't have faces for radio and our long-term career goals are to box jake's paul so we have to get a youtube presence somehow i'm not entirely sure what that means but i'm here for it so i'm excited so ghosts should we talk about ghosts yeah love a bloody ghost all right it's me so we've got two stories each uh another plot twist as if the video wasn't enough um i decided i'm not going to read these ghost stories before i start recording that seb put together i'm just going to go for it so i don't know how wow the two are um that i have been allocated by dear seb we're gonna find out together i don't know how scary they are i don't know what's going on but let me kick off i've got one here from a

listener named michelle hello michelle and her story is called no ghosts to see here so michelle apparently apologizes in bold in advance for the fact that her ghost story takes place during the day apparently ghosts in gettysburg don't know the rules do you know what i think that is infinitely scarier i feel like the whole cliche of obviously like ghosts being out at night and daytime feeling safe i love a horror movie me where they do the ghosts in the daytime or the scary shit in the daytime because I'm like, that's even scarier. Like Texas Chainsaw Massacre,

scary shit's happening in the day. Like that's scary. Yeah, I am infinitely more afraid of the dark. I'm having real struggle like enunciating my words today. Like maybe we've got some sort of brain injury going on. I really don't know what's happening, but we'll get there. So if I slur my words, it's because we've got some sort of brain injury going on I really don't know what's happening but um we'll we'll get there so if I slur my words it's because I'm dying please continue I wonderful and I agree like infinitely scared more scared of the dark imagine if someone

was like I'm terrified of the light I'm so scared of the light I could just see too much and I'm terrified but I I do love a little plot twist horror film or story that is set in the daytime, because I think that's a nice like mix them up. So here we go. This is Michelle's ghostly mix them up. So at some point in the relatively recent past, Michelle was working as a museum docent. Docent? I don't know. Apparently this is what americans call museum tour guides well i've never heard that in my life as a previous roald dahl museum employee museum docent um i know i saw some of my school friends at the weekend and they're like hannah do you remember when you went to the roald dahl museum for like a really long time yes I do remember that very rogue from you remember of course I

remember working at the fucking Roald Dahl museum as a I mean no one's calling you a docent we're not American but apparently a little bit of American lingo I can chuck in there oh there you go I've learned docent there you go I've learned also this story I can already see you from just skimming the next two lines is set in Gettysburg it's a bit civil war-y we've been here before we've been here before you guys said it's like secretly a civil war reenactor on the weekends and he's just too embarrassed to tell us and he's just leaving a little trail of interest crumbs by giving us a civil war only themed red oranges but it's happening we're off for another i mean i'm i'm

predicting i don't know okay it is set in uh it is set in a museum house in gettysburg pennsylvania which is a bit civil war-y isn't it well gettysburg address fame precisely and uh and this isn't just me you know guessing because michelle says in her own words penn words Pennsylvania is the land of the civil war um okay yes I I believe that that sounds like a thing that sounds like an accurate thing so this house that Michelle worked in had a particularly um like great claim to fame in Pennsylvania because apparently their motto I don't think it's their motto, but their like claim to fame was that it was the only museum house in Gettysburg that wasn't haunted. Well, you're asking for it really, aren't you? I mean, you are asking for it as we will probably go on to see. I hope so, because otherwise I'm just leading you all off a path

to absolutely nowhere. Seb needs some workshopping on his how to set up a twist exactly so uh this is the only place in gettysburg that's saying that it's not haunted i quite like that you know i all the ones the other ones like exploiting their civil war ghosts to get the punters in this place is like fuck it we're fine we're clean did you see um comment someone commented on the patreon that a company tried to do ghost tours in the belanglo state forest and then were like very swiftly shut down because of how incredibly poor taste that is oh my god no i didn't see that and i was like yeah and also every time they take a fucking tour group up they find a probably a bunch more dead bodies that the police

have missed if you don't know what we're talking about go and listen to our most recent episode on Ivan Milat and every and all will become clear and there's a lot of places that I would go on ghost tours to the Belangelo forest is not one of them nope no thank you no no no thanks very much um so anyway this place important to notice uh Michelle works in not haunted okay everybody with me so on her first day at this grand old house during her orientation the museum director went out of her way to say this is the only house in gettysburg without any ghosts and this really apparently is a bit of a standout feature in gettysburg as apparently the whole town is completely obsessed with ghosts and most of the museums are constantly flaunting their hauntings that is quite a fun phrase to say flaunting their hauntings

and encouraging ghost hunters to have a good old poke around you would you would wouldn't you that just makes good business sense to say that your place is very haunted but not this place and to be honest apparently it was a bit of a relief for Michelle as you know that makes sense of course it would be she loved history and she loves the old houses of Gettysburg but um she's not a fan of ghosts and she really enjoyed the idea of being a museum tour guide here and not having to gloss over the house's actual amazing story just to go on about some ghost fanatics to like get the punters through the door so I think that's quite a nice thing she seems like a very um serious docent

you know I'm gonna just keep using that word I may not be pronouncing it right don't care so Michelle started her new position and thoroughly enjoyed telling people um all about this house's history but at least one day every, a punter would ask, does this place have any ghosts? To which Michelle would indignantly reply, this is the only house in Gettysburg that doesn't have any ghosts. It's a happy house because its story is being told. Looking back at her constant indignation of the ghostlessness of this house seems to have been tempting fate. As we have covered before on Red Haunted, ghosts do not like being told that they do not exist. So don't do it. Don't keep saying you're not haunted.

Because it might be. And then there'll be angry ghosts. So Michelle's first year or so at the house went swimmingly. And she got into the rhythm of getting um getting on her 1860s clobber oh my god i didn't realize so she was like dressing up for this shit this is hilarious i love this and opening up the heavy doors at the front of the house bringing in her troop of happy tourists and then locking them all in so nobody could wander in and make a mess of things i don't know how locking them all in makes them not be able to make a mess of things i don't know how locking them all in makes them not be able to make a mess of things but apparently you know i'm not like maybe there's like bits of the house

that like they're gonna want to go and touch it and like fuck with it and you've just got to keep them in an enclosed pen with very strict rules of what they are and aren't allowed to touch because otherwise they will fucking touch everything and ruin it got it got it got it so she'd bring them in and apparently she would show them all the way around the old house, right up into the attic, where they knew from luminol testing that once a confederate sharpshooter had actually died. So that's quite fun, I guess, if you're into that kind of thing. Why not?

I mean, I didn't know there was a historic use for luminol, but there we go. No, I mean, I wonder how long the blood, I wonder how long the blood like can have been there before. If it was just never cleaned down with like oxy bleach or something, like would it really show up on luminol? I don't know. Apparently here the answer is yes. So that's a fun story. But you know, this is happening. And one day, she's doing her usual rounds. And there was nothing particularly special about the day in question. Michelle was in her second season at the old house, and she was on the second floor. I don't know if this is so by Michelle, but it's spelled second F-L-A-W.

Hey, man. I love it. And I and i was like well what am i saying um talking about the battle and that had taken place in gettysburg she was only five minutes into her chat when the large door which she had locked behind her suddenly clunked open and closed downstairs then there was a sharp silence and then Michelle could hear the sound of footsteps. Michelle quickly scanned everyone in front of her to make sure they hadn't left someone behind but everyone's faces looked stricken with fear and the weird noises from downstairs continued. Trying to break the tension and expecting to see either another tour guide or a lost tourists michelle stuck her head over the banister and called out we're on a tour can i help you i love the fact that everyone's just immediately scared wouldn't you just be like it's just like

a fucking person that's coming downstairs but i it's the atmosphere if i was in an old and timey house specifically looking for ghosts like if I was a tourist and I'm like there's got to be at least one in here and then like a massive heavy door just opens on its own I'd be like yeah sold ghost town like imagine if we when we went to um Dracula's castle in Transylvania if I had heard even the slightest shit in there I would have been yeah vampire's real sign me up yeah exactly the only thing i will say about my querying so far why everyone is scared is because they're in the house that claims to be the only one that isn't haunted and also they can't see who's opened

this door they can just hear the door open downstairs but like i said michelle leans over the banister and shouts down but there there was no reply. At this point, Michelle convinced herself that it was either another tour guide who had used the front door rather than the back, or she just hadn't locked the door properly and that someone had wandered in. Makes sense. I buy that story. Either way, Michelle knew that she had to go and check. She has to be a responsible docent. She has to go and check. So to be a responsible docent she has to go and check so despite her horror movie knowledge telling her that she should run out of the place screaming which I'm like don't do that while you're at work just run out of the house screaming I frequently run out of work

screaming these days so excellent excellent so there you go maybe it's fine then um so so michelle decided to gather her stuff together told everyone to stay put and went downstairs to investigate she told the group she didn't want someone wandering around downstairs unintended and a large stocky man from her group offered to go down with her feeling a little spooked out she took him up on his offer and they went downstairs. Firstly, they checked the door, which, as Michelle had suspected, was locked and bolted. So they split up. Why?

That's why he's there, so you're not alone. Don't split up. Don't then split up. Don't do that. No, never split up in an old and timey house. Everyone knows that. Don't do it. And once they split up, Michelle checked the store cupboard, while the tall man checked the rest of the front rooms but there was nobody there

so michelle and the tall man went back upstairs and back to her group they all looked as stricken and scared as before michelle had no shit but michelle had no shits left to give to pretending that this wasn't super weird and after one guest said, I guess the Confederates are back. They carried on with the rest of the tour and the atmosphere generally kind of chilled out. I bet whoever said that is so pleased with themselves to this day. I bet they retell that story 15 times a year and everyone's like oh my god uncle dan we're fucking so after the tour was over michelle went straight over to the museum director's office and told her exactly what happened she was expecting raised eyebrows and looks of disbelief maybe a bit of

eye rolling but instead the stern lady told michelle to shut the door and sit down guys you guys so fucking extra museum director mate like okay i mean i don't know what happens next and maybe someone gets horribly murdered by a ghost and then i'm being like fully you know not reasonable so the museum director told her told mich Michelle that on her first day at the old building, before it had ever been renovated, she and a friend had heard the exact same noises and the exact same sound of footsteps walking up the stairs. She and her friend were in the attic and the footsteps were so loud, they stopped chatting and called out hello, expecting maybe her friend's husband to walk around the corner and join them. But nobody arrived. The museum director then finished by saying that she had seen and heard

plenty of unexplained things in the old house, but that she had never told anyone, as it, quote, took away from the house's story. I guess the story of it not being haunted. Right, like your very convenient plug of it being the only unhaunted one is pretty I love it you're gonna get nice it seems all these ghosts that are haunting this house are gonna get in that in your in the way of your marketing ploy of it being the least haunted haunted house in Pennsylvania which is an odd gimmick guys come on that's something else come on so apparently the house never felt the same again uh for Michelle after this and she decided that it would be her last season there in fact she moved away after that and made sure it was in

fact her last season in the whole of Gtysburg because she was the ghost and the museum maybe maybe wait maybe i feel like i had it maybe the museum director and michelle are the same person and that day oh okay okay i've got it that day the museum directors the first day the first season the museum director worked when she heard those footsteps coming up the stairs it was actually a ghost who murdered her right and then she stayed in the house because it had actually you know it had been haunted because she got murdered by a ghost but then she stayed in that house and then um she's Michelle I don't know I felt like I had it yeah I feel like Michelle walks into the museum director's office and then she gets told to sit down and then the museum director

takes off her face and she's just been Michelle the whole time and there's two Michelles but actually one something like that I'm thinking a lot about like mirror images at the moment because I um I'm trying to or it's decorating my new flat I don't have a full-length mirror in my room which I feel like owning a full-length mirror is extremely important um. I don't have a full length mirror in my room, which I feel like owning a full length mirror is extremely important. And I don't have one. I currently have a dressing table mirror. So it's just like midriff height. So every time I walk past it, I can just see like my least favorite part of my body. So that needs to go, needs a new mirror. But I don't know where to put it because I cannot, repeat, cannot have full-length mirror that is reflecting on my bed while I sleep and it's limiting to where I can put the mirror in my room because otherwise the

mirror ghosts will eat me while I sleep I don't want to see myself while I'm sleeping in the same way as I don't want to stay in a hotel where there is a mirror where I can see myself while I'm showering that's weird don't need to see that uh no no I agree with all of those things don't put it there yeah so I am but I am strictly limited in what I can do now so we'll have to figure it out I'll keep you updated on mirror please could you put it on the inside of a cupboard door or a wardrobe door? No, because they're slidey. So that, yeah. And I kind of want, I quite like those sort of leaning mirrors, but I don't think the room's quite big enough for that. And it's always going to look a little bit unfinished.

I don't know. Anyway, would you like to hear about some lesbians and some tap dancing? Oh my God, absolutely. In fact, I'm going to, I'm accidentally on your notes. So so i'm gonna scroll away from the notes so that i can reach total blindness for this entire red haunted episode okay fantastic so uh seb has once again started this one with the year was 2018 we've spoken about this before so we can't do that the year was 2012 a paranormal activity was it 2018 the year was 2018 and hannah and sruti had been doing for red-handed for two years what the fuck no no no no unless it is 1820 you can't say the year was. Even then it still sounds a bit Yoda to me.

Anyway so we're in 2018 and we're with Brittany who was working as a biologist. She also had a dog and she was wearing a lot of flannel and she was dating a firefighter. In other words it says here she was living the lesbian dream. Sebington I sincerely hope that that is the way Brittany has described herself and not what you have decided to call her, because otherwise we're going to have to have some HR meetings with the pig. So one night, the firefighter that Brittany's dating invited her to a local restaurant with her friend, who is a man, and this man's 10-year-old daughter.

And it turned out the man's ex-girlfriend and the mother of his daughter had actually taken her own life a few months before so intense already and quickly um the subject moved from this apparent suicide to the creepy goings on in the man's apartment and the daughter also lives in this apartment and according to britney these creepy happenings seemed to be endless but britney had already had quite a lot to drink by this stage in the conversation so she can't quite recall the full list but she has sent us the highlights and they include footsteps creepy voices shadows of figures on walls when there's no light outside, things falling over, things moving around by themselves. And this man's daughter suddenly had an abundance of imaginary friends.

And on top of all of these occurrences, there was a very, very noisy attic. Oh, no no thank you and a very strange humming has just started in my headphones so i'm having a horrible time apparently i've seriously got like white noise in my headphones right now i've quit i don't want to do the show the whole of like a week two weeks ago for like a whole week I thought I had developed tinnitus and I was like that's it my life is over I've ruined my life I've got tinnitus and then I realized I just had an ear infection and now it's fine oh yeah your ear I was genuinely like fuck I've got tinnitus it was like every time maybe it was a ghost I don't know

but it was either it was either an ear infection or a ghost um every time I would like walk or move my head too quickly I would hear like like wind rustling in my ear it felt like um it felt like a whoosh in my ear no what the fuck is that and then it would feel like um imagine like if you had a butterfly trapped in your ear canal but it wasn't in a way it was like a tiny butterfly that was like the size of your ear canal so it's not like it's a thing in there stuck right it was just something in there beating its wings and i felt like why can i hear wings beating in my ear obviously i googled it and it was like a specific type of tinnitus where like a blood vessel just pops in your ear and it's like, you can't do anything about it.

That's it. You've got it for life. And I kept getting really dizzy and I was like, oh my God, I've got tinnitus. And then the pharmacist was like, no, you've got an ear infection. And I'm like, what am I fucking six? Why have I got an ear infection? But it's weird. Stop putting poo in your ears, Saruti. God.

I know. Disgusting. Okay. Right. but it's weird stop putting poo in your ears saruti god i know i'm disgusting okay uh right out of saruti's ears and into this guy's extremely noisy attic um apparently both him and his daughter could hear footsteps voices and worst of all laughter coming from above them and it shut this man up so royally he'd never managed to go up the ladder to have a look that's sensible so britney being a biologist with a scientific mind and having quite a lot of dutch courage um being quite a few drinks deep uh and she was also sat next to a firefighter that she's so she's feeling she's feeling pretty on top of her game britney threw caution to the wind and she loudly proclaimed that she was brave enough to go to the

attic and look oh god so the group which is britney her firefighter date this man this man's 10 year old daughter all go to the apartment um and they're all eating and messing around um and seb has written here with an air of i ain't scared of no ghosts seb you are fired i ain't afraid of no ghosts those are not interchangeable sorry um then they waited for the daughter to fall asleep um but she wanted to uh stay up and meet the ghosts apparently because they were in her own words pretty nice to her um but britney was pretty convinced it was a raccoon at the stage so she was like no the kid has to go to sleep do raccoons laugh i i mean the raccoon in pocahontas definitely makes some chirpy noises and that is the extent of my raccoon experience he does did that raccoon speak what was

that raccoon called i don't remember miko miko and he was called miko and he made a little like chirping noise oh well and he was very good at plaiting hair so maybe it's miko from pocahontas which is fine if not then that's not a raccoon sounds like a fucking ghost um or it could be camilla harris from our last under the duvet you know what there are worse people to have living in your attic than if you don't know what the fuck i'm talking about then um you need to go and listen to our under the duvet from about not this week the week before possibly the week before that um where you can find out why i almost died in my own bed at 3 a.m on a saturday morning because of kamala harris

and that's all i'm gonna say so eventually britney got a hand on a torch uh pulled down a ladder and prepped herself to walk into the attic-y abyss as she looked up into the black square above her she came up with all of the rational explanations she could find for the random noises maybe a squirrel had found its way into the attic and made itself a little squirrel home. Maybe there was a gap letting in enough of a breeze to blow things around up there. All right, Jonathan Creek. But is that like Black Square? That's the fear. That's the fear.

When you can see the Black Square of unknown attic slash loft abyss, that's the fear. This is such a loft abyss let me tell you because when britney got up there she found not a little squirrel house she found not a stiff breeze she found what's essentially the set of a horror film in this attic piles of old dolls in various states of decay an old basin which i assume means sink covered in like shit um and a pair of tap dancing shoes hold on to those they come back later um and hundreds of old yellow newspapers one of these papers stood out immediately to britney who i'm assuming is a red-handed fan so therefore a true crime person one of these old newspapers featured a picture and a headline about everyone's favorite nobbed ted bund oh my god this was just right on the top

just a paper from the fucking like seven when were you killing people 70s just on top okay can i also just say the newspapers is one thing like whatever if you've just got bits of broken dolls in your loft you are a deviant there is no need for this kind of thing is somebody just taking the piss because you've obviously seen all the stuff on the internet where it's like um bury a plastic skeleton under your thing and then just wait for the next person to buy it do a renovation and I was like I think I might be a bit of a deviant um so when I was a kid my dad worked in lots of different countries and he would bring me back what are called character dolls from each country and I've got about 30 of them okay um in a cabinet at my mum's house because when I was a kid I didn't understand that that's a creepy fucking hobby and like no one should have allowed me to do it but I the fact is I have these dolls now like my dad's dead I'm never gonna throw them away so like I but so I have to accept that

at some point in my future I will have a box of dolls in a lot of that will just be in there so I I could be setting myself up here truly I mean look I'm just gonna say don't don't break them keep them in good condition so I was like that's okay I'm not gonna lie to you though like you've got to keep them obviously because they're from your your lovely dad who gave you a bunch of fucking dolls you've got to keep them it is it is uh it's deviant though yeah it's just a deviant behavior like it's absolutely like, why was it that I don't remember ever asking for them? It was just decided that that was the thing. But like, I was a very like girly girl.

So I was like very into that. But they weren't for playing with. They were for looking at. But that's nice, you know, it's like teaching responsibility. It's like looking after these things. And, you don't know I don't know I was never given dolls um because I obviously was in India until I was like six and my dad used to come here though come to the UK regularly and then come back every like two months to see me and mum um until we could finally move over with him and uh I don't know I just had loads of like fucking toy airplanes and

plushies plushies they don't they don't like um they don't look as good they don't survive as well as like a doll so my keepsakes are kind of gross and just all in the bin which sounds really horrible but they were mine are just uh porcelain and definitely haunted. That'll do it. So tune back in in 10 years when I will have been murdered by a doll. I'm Jake Warren, and in our first season of Finding, I set out on a very personal quest to find the woman who saved my mum's life. You can listen to Finding Natasha right now exclusively on Wondery+.

In season two, I found myself caught up in a new journey to help someone I've never even met. But a couple of years ago, I came across a social media post by a person named Loti. It read in part, Three years ago today that I attempted to jump off this bridge, but this wasn't my time to go. A gentleman named Andy saved my life.

I still haven't found him. This is a story that I came across purely by chance, but it instantly moved me. And it's taken me to a place where I've had to consider some deeper issues around mental health. This is season two of Finding. And this time, if all goes to plan, we'll be finding Andy.

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fame, fortune, and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Radin was found dead in a canyon near L.A. in 1983, there were many questions surrounding his death. The last person seen with him was Lainey Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break into the movie industry. But things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went missing. From Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder. Follow Hollywood and Crime, The Cotton Club Murder on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of The Cotton Club Murder early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. You don't believe in ghosts? I get it.

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you find your favorite podcasts. So where were we? Ted Bundy in the newspaper. So Britney, in her infinite wisdom, decided that she was going to take the Ted Bundy newspaper and the tap shoes out of the attic with her into the normal world big mistake i was gonna say is there some sort of ghosty rule that uh you know zach bagan can tell us about like not taking stuff away from i feel like you don't steal from the dead i feel like that is uh but then if you're dead you can't just like have your shit everywhere and be like, well, you can't move it. Yeah, right. Please neatly have it in a storage facility that you pay for with your estate. I mean, I don't know where this is going on. You may have said, sorry, I forgot.

But if you were like, I don't know, let's say square footage in somewhere like London. Sorry, ghost. You can't just take up like fucking five square foot with all your random shit and threaten to haunt me. It's got to go. It's got to go. Yeah. yeah okay i told you about my basement should i just quickly tell you about my basement yeah please do okay so the basement right um obviously got a new house in layton it's got a basement i don't know why that felt like it rhymed it doesn't rhyme but you know what i'm saying so you go down the stairs and there's um the normal size of the like Victorian cellar that's downstairs right um everybody who comes in there is like this is amazing there's no damp in here how do you have this cellar without any damp and I'm like I genuinely think the man who lived there before

Mr William Crease took very good care of the house and that's why there's no damp go down and also um the floor doesn't need dropping which in most Victorian houses um would need to so that you can actually stand there. It's like genuinely quite high ceiling. So I'm like, this is a fucking win. When you're coming down the little wooden stairs into the basement, if you just look across, like across the basement, like this way, when I'm saying this way, I mean right. There's a wall, right? That's the wall of the the cellar but there's a little gap the size of maybe like a brick or two that runs along the top of that wall at intervals when you look through those gaps there's just a black void a black space on the other side of the wall that basement is

no thank you and I was like this is weird so I obviously have that I have the kind of like um the blueprint of the house like the schematics of the house and when I looked at it I was like this is weird because actually my cellar um runs for the entire width of the ground floor of the house so technically this cellar should be a lot bigger than it is because it should run all the way up until the other room is done when it touches the cellar of the next door's house. So why is my cellar so narrow? I mean, it's good size, but why is it so narrow? And why is there a black void here? And I know it wasn't just an empty space, because I can see it on the blueprint that there is a room there. And I was looking through it and like shining a torch, there's a room behind that

wall. And I was like, what the fuck? So speaking to the builder, I was like through it and like shining a torch there's a room behind that wall and I was like what the fuck so speaking to the builder I was like can we knock this wall down can I put a doorway in it like to get into that room what's on the other side and he had a look and he was like there's definitely a room there but the problem is this wall is a load-bearing wall so you can't just knock it down and like have a giant cellar unless you put like a steel brace in and stuff like that, which is going to cost you much money. And he was like, obviously it's in London. So the square footage is valuable. So maybe you do want to think about putting a door in and going in there.

I'm like, no, thanks. No, thank you. Why is whatever's in there? I think it's just maybe it's like whatever these people were like, whatever's manageable. So we don't need this whole space. So we'll just leave this load bearing because this wall in the middle is literally holding up the house and they were like we'll just put this wall in and there's just a whole nother fucking room in this house that has no you know that's like fucking tootin communes tomb you can't go

in there i'm like i don't want to put a door in to open it up because whatever's in there can just stay in there it's clearly fine and there's just like little pockets of windows along the top not even windows holes along the top where you can look into it but I also don't look into it because I'm scared I might see no absolutely not absolutely not I know so leave alone the square of like dark abyss fear this is like a room of dark abyss fear that you can see and there's stuff in there i can see stuff in there but like define stuff like i don't know like when you look up and you shine a torch in there are like objects like i can see something i can see something i can't know do you know do you know what if you ever ever open like just build the door and open it it's just going to be rocking horses covered in like shoes yes dolls just a hand from the ceiling no oh that you can never go in there

when you come around you can come have a look at it um but i send your brother in he won't go he's more he's more scared of it than i am are you kidding i'm the brave one so my brother's obviously my brother's gonna to be living in the house with me. And he is like, I am never, ever, ever going to go in there or look in there or ever want to see it. We just pretend it's not there. Yeah. And we can't like block off the top bits because there needs to be like ventilation for. So, OK, you're just going to have to live with the mole people yeah fantastic sorry do you know what i bet they're being so quiet now because they want to entice you to live there and it's

not going to be until you live there yeah they start making a fuss oh my god stop they've been very happy on their own they have you're gonna ruin it i know with your life oh my god guys wait till i tell you more about this fucking house we'll wait till i'm in there and we'll talk about it then but basically it's never been owned by anybody apart from this one family which is creepy which i find creepy in and of itself oh i think so a victorian house that's never been owned by anybody else apart from one family and also that means you're like violating the legacy so that's what i mean but this is what i'm saying you can't own everything once you're dead you've got to let it go you've got to let it go i think mr william crease might have a different opinion um okay right sorry attic um maybe we should do a

do some sort of something in your basement when we not not knock the wall down but like send like a camera on a string um well i'll put it on the list we'll put it in the youtube meeting um so um where am i she took the shit out of her yeah she's taking the shit and she's carrying the tap shoes particularly um as spoils of war it turns out britney uh has a bit of a flavor tap did it in high school so britney made in my opinion a fatal mistake uh-oh i know what you're gonna say and she put the shoes on no they fit like a glove apparently and then she spent the next 10 minutes showing off and trying to teach the young daughter who's appeared from her bedroom apparently some tap moves um and she had just taught her the box step which is not particularly difficult britney um when they heard some loud banging coming from the

attic oh my god why are you doing this why are you trying to get yourself possessed do you know what had been really creepy as if the banging had been in the sound of like the rhythm that they had just tapped are you psychic oh my god is that what happened shut up yes okay i'll stop talking so yeah no no sooner as she mastered the box step the door starts to freak out and start to swear there were bumps and thuds coming from the attic that had been copying britney's tap rhythm exactly oh my god it's like ghostly so you think you can dance i hate yes exactly exactly um uh in britney's own words however she was so drunk by this stage in the evening that even if the ghost had fallen down the stairs to her it probably would have sounded a little bit like the rhythm that she was making

get it um when okay so britney is now determined to catch whatever was making the noise she's still pretty sure it's an animal so she scrambled back up the ladder to point the torch into the darkness expecting to see a raccoon or a squirrel but there was nothing and everything looked exactly as old and creepy as it had when she had left it absolutely nothing was out of place britney is like a dog with a bone here because she decided that she might as well bring down some more of the creepy stuff britney go home yeah britney britney your date's probably like what the fuck this girl's mad um so she's up there trying to find the most disturbing shit she can in there for whatever reason um and she's rummaging around and britney says no matter how hard she tries she can't accurately

describe what happens next she's drunk but apparently out of nowhere, everyone heard and Brittany felt a heavy set of footsteps run across the attic right past her. Oh, no. She said that she could hear the sound of each individual's footsteps on the beams as they ran past. And she even felt the attic roof bend ever so slightly as the weight shifted across the room after that britney shouted at the top of her lungs and then her date the firefighter let's not forget pulled her out um practically chucking her down the ladder this fucking date man she's got all the patience in the world in it i think i'd rather be bored to be honest I'd rather be on an aggressively boring date with an Italian chef uh than than this this would be too much for me so you couldn't handle a drunk date hanging out in your friend's attic that you've just introduced him to um yelling and

screaming and being drunk to be honest as soon as the suggestion of would you like to hand hang out with my friend of a friend's 10 year old child i would be like no thank you but so i probably wouldn't have got to this stage in the game but that's because i'm just completely incompatible with all children but so they slam the attic door shut and then they all stood in the kitchen in a stunned silence but every so often this silence would be broken by more thudding above their heads. There was nowhere, there was just absolutely no way any of them were going back up there,

so I assume that the thuds continued until the end of time, and we'll never know because Brittany and the firefighter no longer see each other. I'm sorry, Brittany, I shouldn't laugh. There was no way that wasn't going to end in an empty-handed case. Yeah, but, you know, you and us both, Brittany, I shouldn't laugh. There was no way that wasn't going to end in an empty handed case. Yeah. But, you know, you and us both, Brittany, so it's OK. So she hasn't seen the friend, the daughter or the tap dancing ghost ever since. But she has sent us a picture.

Oh, my God. What? Of the Ted Bundy newspaper clipping. And just behind it is a very scared looking child. I know. I was like, what the fuck is that that child the little child from the story because I think so because like honestly let's all leave that child alone because she looks fucking scared oh my god okay that is quite creepy that is a creepy creepy um like newspaper cutting but is it me I was like Ted Bundy it doesn't scare me you know if it was like another case if it was like Albert Fish I'd be like oh but Ted Bundy I'm just so like filled with contempt for him even Gacy even like boys found in walls like you know that yeah that

would do it for me more than Bundy would I I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Well, that is a scary and hysterical story. I love the idea of it just being remade into like a horror rom-com where- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Britney's just like trying to make it work with this firefighter, but just can't. And when you were like at the end,

it was like no one was going back up into the attic. I could just imagine Britney like desperately wanting wanting to but people just holding her back this is great but you gotta give her you gotta give her credit you gotta give her credit for the spirit i like that all right good work britney i've got one here from a lovely spooky bitch named caitlin and it's called the Soldier. Once again I'm not going to hype it because I have absolutely no fucking idea what's going to happen so let's all find out together shall we? When Caitlin was a child, oh it's another attic, we've got another attic, the attic in her grandparents house was her playroom. She would go up there most days and play with her toys however a grandma her grandmother would always go up the stairs first and occasionally she would say nope we have a visitor and no

matter how much caitlin pleaded there would be no going up into the attic that day okay so i assume her grandmother is turning around to caitlin and saying nope to caitlin we have a visitor and then she wouldn't be up there okay now caitlin's grandmother was apparently a little bit eccentric so the visitor never really bothered her too much she just assumed that it was her grandma being a little bit odd. Sadly, Caitlin's grandma died when she was 16, when Caitlin was 16, not when her grandma was 16. And imagine she's the ghost. Sorry, I'm trying to plot twist all of these and I can't. And a few years later, at a family gathering, Caitlin's dad, Jim, told her a story. Apparently, when Jim was 18 18 he was a volunteer firefighter in a place with the

weirdest fucking name of a town i've ever seen right so pass about this out for me so thank you very much kansha hocken kansha hocken that's why not quite a lot of names in that area of um the states are total greek to me like i find it so i know i'm sure that like they are supposed to be phonetically spelled but i've just no no no idea but yeah apparently conshahakan and again i'm back in penn Pennsylvania. So this is back in Pennsylvania, land of the Civil War. And apparently, Kanshahakon was an old milling town. And that was its particular claim to fame. Now, apparently, General Washington, during the War of Independence, another claim to fame, apparently stopped there on his way to Valley Forge, which presumably is of some sort of importance to the Americans featured in Hamilton I will not know about it and I can tell you with 100% confidence there is no reference to Valley Forge in Hamilton how do I know because I know all the words so and I respect

that I haven't seen Hamilton so even if it isn't there, I wouldn't have known. Between us, we would have known. We don't know. Valley Forge, don't know. Presumably of something important. So there you go. Claims to fame all round. So another thing about this town, Kunchahuckan, is that it has three fire stations,

which I know I haven't said the size of this town. So maybe it's fucking massive and that's why it's got three. But it sounds like, why has it got three? I haven't said the size of this town so maybe it's fucking massive and that's why it's got three but it sounds like why has it got three I don't know and apparently Caitlin's dad had worked for fire station number two so we got another firefighter on our hands in this case so that's quite fun and apparently one morning before the sun came up and remember this is when he's like 18 Jim was awoken by the sound of his firefighters radio buzzing there was an urgent call going out to one of the fires from one of the other fire stations in town it was a station furthest away from his so he decided to turn his radio back down and rolled over in his bed in his attic attic bedroom window. So I guess he's just like,

it's not anything to do with me. And he just turns the radio down. He's like, I'm going back to sleep. Fine. Now this attic that had been her dad, Jim's bedroom is of course, none other than the same attic that became Caitlin's playroom. Apparently after he turned the radio down and rolled over to go back to sleep Jim froze because outlined against the faint light of his window he saw the shape of a man looking out across the street. No. Nope. Hate it. So 18 year old Jim slowly put on his glasses so that he could make out the clear sight of the man. And he saw that the man had a funny grey hat pulled over his eyes. As the sun rose, Jim stayed still and began to notice a rifle slung over the man's shoulder. The man paced from foot to foot

slightly and fiddled with his rifle strap. Jim apparently by this point was absolutely shitting bricks. There was a man with a gun in his house and his family were downstairs. So Jim stayed dead still while he worked out what to do next. The man seemed completely undisturbed by the sound of Jim's radio and he just kept looking out, out of the window that is, fiddling nervously with his rifle strap. After what felt like an absolute lifetime had passed, Jim's radio started to kick off again and this time the call was for his own station. Thinking it was now or never, Jim steeled his nerves, leapt up and turned the light on. He braced himself for whatever came next. But nothing happened.

The man at the window had completely disappeared. Jim was in between where the man was stood or had been stood and the stairs. The window was locked. There was nowhere for this man to have gone. So it's all confusion centre, right? This man's there, he can kind of see him in the dim room. Then when he turns the lights on, he's gone. A few weeks later, Jim told his mum, who is Caitlin's grandmother, about the incident. Apparently, grandma wasn't shocked. when she had moved into that house 20 years previously the old owners had mentioned that there was a ghost who would occasionally

stand lookout. Most of the neighbors had come knocking at some point saying that they'd seen a man that they didn't recognize looking out of their family's attic window. And, like, this was just apparently a thing that would go on regularly. Apparently, after that, Jim slept with a light on and was relieved to never see the soldier again. But Caitlin's grandma did, however. And that's why she would always go and check for the visitor before Caitlin could go upstairs. No, I can't stand that. i can't stand that i can't stand

that at all god there's just so many fucking like civil war ghosts guys like so many so yeah very i mean it's quite convenient i know we're all the ghosts of the native americans i mean just the simple war ghosts but i don't know uh it's creepy it is creepy i just think like i don't know i'm not scared by like man ghosts or like by like middle-aged man ghosts like a soldier i don't know maybe it's quite a controversial opinion i'm scared by little kid ghosts and by old people ghosts okay well i've got a i've got a middling ghost it's a lady ghost though which i do agree are scarier oh i'm oh i i do think they are scarier also apologies for everyone who can hear blue absolutely fucking losing his mind downstairs uh welcome to the madhouse. This is just what happens. Sorry. Yes.

So Lady Ghost. Lay it on me. Lady Ghost. So this has come from Nikki, who grew up in Ireland. Whether she still lives there or not, I don't know. But we're not in America. We are in Ireland. And she grew up in a little bit of a strange home. It wasn't old when her parents moved in um

but the previous owners had some weird planning permission issues which meant that their ground floor basement um which could in theory open up onto the garden had to be filled in because of some planning nonsense blah blah blah blah um so nobody could do what they actually wanted to do with it but when nikki was around two her dad thought that it might be nice to open up the basement into the garden and decided you know fuck the planning department or the equivalent the count fuck the council it's probably the council but always fuck the council i truly believe that there are two things i live by and one is don't play on the railway tracks and two is never tell the council the truth no fuck council fuck the council um yeah hackney council still broken i haven't paid a penny of council tax they just won't i they won't and they're just

like we are broken we can't do it so we'll see um anyway uh Nikki's dad pulled up the floor under the stairs and started to dig out the large cavernous space under the house being as unrelentingly active unrelentingly active as any two-year-old Nikki spent most of her weekends helping her dad uh which much the two-year-old can I love that yeah just gonna go help dad it's basically just wearing dungarees isn't it like that's as much as she's gonna be helping yes fisher price plastic toys and wearing dungarees exactly but it's quality time but the deeper they dug the more two-year-old nikki started to talk about the lady in the dress. What? So Nikki described to her parents a stern looking lady in a Victorian dress with a cane who just hung around in the basement. Oh I hate this. And two years of this go by

as Nikki's parents continued the hefty undertaking and possibly illegal undertaking of digging out their basement without planning permission dropping that floor for that by the time Nikki was four years old she was talking about the lady downstairs almost all the time. But now she wasn't the lady in the dress. Nikki was referring to her as sister. Yeah. As in like nuns or like my sister? Well, why do you wait? I'll tell you.

No. So Nikki actually had two sisters at the time time and she wasn't particularly bothered about having another one no one could understand why she would play act having another sibling when she all already had two and it seemed like Nikki wasn't even that fond of this imaginary sister that lived in the basement and she spent most of her time trying to avoid going into the basement to specifically get away from this person slash thing she was calling Sister. One night, Nikki woke up to find Sister in her room calling her name. And this was very out of the ordinary as Sister never usually left the basement. So Nikki, being the kind, innocent child that she was,

decided the best thing to do was to take sister back down to the basement where she belonged. So Nikki got out of bed and walked slowly down the stairs. And when Nikki and sister got to the basement door, Nikki couldn't open it. It wouldn't budge. She pushed it and wiggled it with all of her four year old strength, but it just wouldn't open. And this made sister really angry so angry she started waving her cane around and yelling at Nikki in sheer panic Nikki threw herself at the door and the door flew open and Nikki's momentum meant that she couldn't stop and she tumbled down the stairs onto her stomach hearing this crashing in the middle of the night Nikki's parents came

running downstairs and they found Nikki lying face down on the floor of the basement. She'd fallen all the way down the stairs. Her face and stomach were bruised and scratched and bizarrely there were two strange bruises, one on Nikki's back and another on the back of her head. Nikki's parents asked her how she'd hurt her back and Nikki said that the sister had hit her but also she had just fallen down the stairs so that bit I'm not buying um I love the idea of them just being like but where did this mark come from yeah right I literally found you at the bottom of a flight of stairs and you're four years old but these mystery marks oh my god for the next few years the basement door wouldn't open easily for Nikki. But she could feel the sister's presence in the basement always.

And this carried on until tragically when Nikki was just 11, her dad passed away. And apparently the feeling of sister lifted from the house the moment he passed. Sometimes Nikki would wake up late, would wake up as a teenager and hear her dad's infamously loud snoring coming from her parents' bedroom, only to find out there was no one in the house. Nikki's dad had always been funny about leaving people to sleep in the house. But apparently he's still there sometimes. But Nikki had never felt the sister again. But as a grown up, Nikki has found out that the house. Uh oh.

Was built on top of an old house and the old house was connected to a convent. Fucking knew it. Yeah. I hate it. Hate it. And this all would have been fine, right? Nikki sent this a year ago.

She sent it last April, apparently, and it got lost in the red haunted pile. But she sent us an update as of last month. Oh, no. apparently and it got lost in the red haunted pile but she sent us an update as of last month oh no and this update caught seb's glinting young fetal eyes um because it has a photo oh my god attached to it shall i look is it time so apparently this update goes along the lines of I had a Zoom call over the weekend

and my friend started freaking out because there was somebody behind me no okay and apparently two separate friends who are on this Zoom call have taken a screenshot of Nikki being on the Zoom call

and you can look at it I don't know if I want to I'm scared I'm so glad that we're quite like close to the camera so there's not much background space for things to appear behind yeah I know what you mean oh fuck right off okay i'm scrolling down i'm scared sorry i'm scrolling very slowly no it's okay take your time oh my god oh what what what the actual are you serious that is like some fucking like out of the movie sinister or insidious level i mean nikki we love you with all our hearts and we desperately want to believe you but that is a cardboard cutout that is so i'm scared of looking at it in case it like moves like i remember we've talked about on the show recently um how sinister that fucking ethan hawke film um was voted like the scariest film of all time. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm just like, you people are trash. You people are trash. Who the fuck voted for that? But this is the kind, this looks like Bagul. And yes, the main fucking demon in that movie is called Bagul and you people voted it the most scary film ever. Please check yourselves.

This looks like that. And in that, it turns and looks at him when he's not looking at it. And that's what this looks like that and in that it turns and looks at him when he's not looking at it and that's what this looks like i'm sorry i don't i i don't it needs to be more ambiguous like subtlety is scary you know that's why the Blair Witch is so good because it's like like subtle this is but wait for listeners we will put it on the instagram yeah uh so you can look at it yourself and make your mind up don't be too horrible about it because yeah it's just a bit of fun i i am like if it was more blurry and more just of a shadow i would have been more scared it if it is real then the ghost sister you've just fucking like given the game away as like a ghost you gotta

be more subtle you gotta be more subtle um but no that was really that was a really good story though i really enjoyed that so thank you for sending that in britney but fuck me yeah um and thank you for all of our red haunted uh contributors this month um we don't know when we'll be out with red haunted but it will be soon um and we're also going to go and stay in what i assume is a haunted barn like next week yeah why not so maybe something will happen then fantastic we'll tell you about it then um i'm certainly haunted exciting exciting can't wait to go spend um four days with you in a maybe haunted barn then so everyone uh thank you so much and we hope that you enjoyed this video version of red haunted we feel like uh this just it's a lot more fun for us to be able to like do more of these video content bits

um so yeah let us know what you think unless you hate it in which case uh maybe just keep it to yourselves um and listen to the audio version. But whatever. We will see you very soon with some more ghostly goodness. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. So, get this. The Ontario Liberals elected Bonnie Crombie as their new leader. Bonnie who? I just sent you her profile. Check out her place in the Hamptons.

Huh, fancy. She's a big carbon tax supporter, yeah? Oh yeah. Check out her record as mayor. Oh, get out of here. She even increased taxes in this economy. Yeah, higher taxes, carbon taxes. She sounds expensive. Bonnie Crombie and the Ontario Liberals. They just don't get it. That'll cost you. A message from the Ontario PC Party. He was hip-hop's biggest mogul, the man who redefined fame, fortune, and the music industry.

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