RedHanded - ShortHand: Lili’uokalani - The Last Queen of Hawai’i

Episode Date: July 24, 2026

America the beautiful: from sea to shining sea! (...Plus a bunch of random islands 2,000 miles away in the Pacific Ocean.)The story of why these seven Polynesian islands became part of the US of A is a wild one, taking in a slew of sweet-toothed sugar barons, a pinch of rampant colonialism, and one heroine who refused to let her culture die. When a white militia surrounded the palace of Queen Lili’uokalani, she was ready to spill her “last drop of blood” for the Hawai’ian people. This is the ShortHand.--Patreon - Ad-free & Bonus EpisodesYouTube - Full-length Video EpisodesTikTok / Instagram

There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at bellair direct.com. Hello. Hello. Or should I say, Aloha? Ahana means family. That's all I got.

Is that there's no word for goodbye? Is that true? There's just Aloha. It's the same. Oh, okay. But I think loads of languages do that. Like chow? Mm. Mm.

So, we kind of take it for granted. that when we say America the Beautiful, land of the free home of the brave, from sea to shining sea, that Hawaii just counts in that description, despite being over 2,000 miles away from the mainland of the United States of America, it is the 50th state. 2,000 miles. Yeah, wow. And I, for one, have always wondered why that is. I have asked many an American.

They have not been able to tell me. I know. But I have to wonder no longer, because on this shorthand here today, we are going to tell you the inside story of how Hawaii went from proud Polynesian cultural centre to its tourist trap present. It's a tale of how a bunch of power-hungry sugar barons stripped the native population of their rights and their land

way before Hawaii was officially swallowed up by the US. And also, the story of how an iconic monarch called Queen Liliuwokalani. While she was imprisoned in her palace, she did everything in her power to protect her people's sovereignty until the bitter end. So, Aloha and Mahalo for joining us for this short but not so sweet history of Hawaii

and the life of the incredible woman who fought tooth and nail to save it. This is the shorthand. The islands known as Hawaii sit at the top of the Polynesian triangle in the Pacific Ocean. The seven main islands are called Ni'ihao, Kauai,

Oahu, Molokai, Lanai, Maui, and Hawaii, the easy one. With the last one also referred to as the big island. Ancient Polynesians are thought to have settled there from around 400 AD, developing their own unique culture and spiritual beliefs.

It was a tribal society with local chiefs in charge of their own settlements. There was a clearly stratified social hierarchy. The Alalii were top of the pile. These were the chiefs and their noble families. Next down, were the Kahuna, priests and healers that served as trusted advisors and spiritual guides for the community.

Then you had Makahainana, working class people responsible for farming, fishing and building. And then, Kawa, outcasts and slaves. They were at the bottom of the ladder. Each island had its own supreme leader called the Alar Li'i Nui, translating to High Chief, the Big Daddy, if you will.

And these big dallies were thought to have descended from the gods and goddesses themselves who had created the earth. People paid their taxes to the Alali, who in return were responsible for maintaining the sacred kapu, the rules and laws that governed all aspects of Hawaiian life. And for centuries, the Hawaiian people basically just did their own thing, until the late 18th century when famed British explorer Sir James Cook rocked up on the shores of Hawaii, with his crew in 1778. Cook had been on a quest to find the elusive northwest passage between the Pacific and the Atlantic oceans,

and he reckoned it was as good a place as any to dock his ship for a break. He struck up a friendly relationship with the Hawaiians at first, engaging in casual trade. Some historians say that the locals actually worshipped Cook as a personification of the god Lono, since his arrival coincided with the Harvest Festival in his honour. I am sure there is an island that think King Charles is God, and they have for a really long time.

I can't believe it. Old sausage fingers. Certainly, the very same. He was very young when he went there, though, so maybe he had slender chippalata. In February 1779, while Cook's ship was docked for repairs in a bay during bad weather, tensions rose between his crew and the native Hawaiians. Locals alleged that crew members had taken wood from Marai, a sacred Polynesian, religious site under Cook's orders, which I can believe.

And when a group of natives stole one of his cutter boats, Cook was seriously pissed off, so much so that he tried to kidnap the island's supreme leader as revenge. But as Cook was leading the Ali Inui onto his ship, an angry mob broke out. One of the chiefs clobbered Cook on the head with a club and another stabbed him. So Cook was cooked. He died of his wounds. And it might have been bye-bye for Captain Cook, but it certainly wouldn't be the end of Western interference in the Hawaiian Islands.

Just a few years later, Kameha Meha, the first supreme ruler of Hawaii Island, began a campaign to unify the islands. And in 1795, the kingdom of Hawaii was born. King Kahe Mehaeha. was determined to put Hawaii on the map as a nation, establishing trade deals with the British Empire and those young upstarts, the United States of America.

The country retained its traditional social structure and became something like a European-style monarchy. The supreme ruler was the head of the state, and the Al-Lila were titled noble families with considerable power. But unlike in the Western world, this wasn't a system based on individual land ownership, The land belonged collectively to the people, but was managed by chiefs and monarchy. But it didn't stay that way for long, because the yanks were coming.

American merchants started rocking up from the early 1800s, and did they have a sweet tooth? In 1835, businessman William Hooper of Massachusetts leased 980 acres of land from Cahe Meja Meha III to grow sugar cane. And within 30 years, sugar plantations were operating. on their four largest islands of Hawaii, employing native Hawaiians, as well as immigrant workers from Asia, who, surprise, were treated pretty badly.

But the Hawaiian economy was booming. So at first it looked like a pretty sweet deal. Sugar was big business, getting into bed with the Americans via an exclusive duty-free relationship seemed like a mutually beneficial system. But the foreign businessmen started getting pretty cozy in a way. so cozy in fact that they decided to try their hand at politics after all they were responsible for a large portion of the country's wealth

why shouldn't they have a say and how things were run it's very British of you so to keep his new pals on side Kamahmehameha the third created the constitution of the kingdom of hawaii in 1840 doing away with the old order of absolute monarchy and creating a semi-constitutional democratic system More importantly, by creating a lower house of representatives that could be voted into government,

he gave your common garden sugar baron a seat at the political table. Were the sugar daddy satisfied? Of course not. Because this constitution still didn't let them own land, they could only lease it, and they fully spat their dummies out, culminating in one British naval captain, declaring the occupation of Hawaii for a few months.

A scrabbling Kamiméha Meha, the third, managed to smooth things over somehow. And he finally responded to pressure for land ownership in 1848, with what was called the Great Bahale, a land redistribution scheme that divvied up Hawaiian land between the monarchy and the Ali nobles, and then the people, including foreign-born citizens. And this was the beginning of the very slippery slope into Hawaii losing. itself. Because here's the thing. Hardly any native Hawaiians actually went for it. Why would they? It was their ancestral land, and they'd been cultivating it for generations. And those who did apply were often hamstrung by arbitrary new wealth requirements. The great Mahaley basically became

a giant loophole for rich, influential foreigners to game the system and hoover up native land. It was a death by a thousand administrative cuts. not to mention the very real destruction caused by foreign presence on the islands. When Captain Cook first touched down in Hawaii in the late 1700s, the native Hawaiian population was estimated to be at least 300,000 strong. But by 1850s it had plummeted to 60,000, and would halve again by the early 1900s. Why?

Sadly, the classic colonial story. Disease. The native people had no immunity to Western diseases like smallpox and measles. So this alongside the political upheaval in Hawaii meant the aliens were truly taking over. The heroine of our story, Liliuakalani, was a child during this period of political turbulence. Born on the 2nd of September 1838, into Nalii family, following the custom of naming young nobles after events coinciding with their birth, her name, somewhat unfortunately, meant smarting tearful burning pain sore eyes

Wow Sounds like me in the summer Hmm And she was given that name because The current queen Wife of Kameha Meja the third Had quite a nasty eye infection She was baptised by American missionaries

And given the Christian first name Lydia But we're not going to give you that We will be calling her by her royal name And not her Christian one Because as you will come to see Liliuokalani earned it. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple.

Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at bellair direct.com. Her parents follow the ancient cultural practice of Harniei, which is informal adoption and handed over their daughter at birth to an even higher-ranking noble couple. High Chief Abner Pahaki and Chief S. Laura Keone. She was educated at the Royal School, which was pretty selective. It only had 16 pupils, all of whom were potential contenders to the Iron Throne.

While there, these high-born brats studied English, Latin, Greek, mathematics, music, geography, physics, and countless more academic pursuits. And of course, there were European court-inspired etiquette lessons ensuring that they'd grow up into the best little royals this side of the Pacific Ocean. As she grew older, Liliocalani was considered quite the catch in the Hawaiian court. After a few failed matches to various nobles and merchants, she was courted by American-born John Owens' Dominus, a royal staffer for Kamihah Meja Mejah the 4th. They'd known each other since childhood, as he'd lived just across the road from her school.

He once apparently fell off his horse and broke his leg trying to impress Liliocalani, but still insisted on walking her home before getting it seen to. The lovebirds tied the knot just after Liliot Kalani's 24th birthday in September 1862. But let's just say the honeymoon period wore off pretty damn fast.

John's mother Sarah was hostile towards Liliocalani, disapproving of her son marrying a native Hawaiian woman, despite her being, you know, royalty. And on top of the snooty mother in law, Liliocalani also had to deal with dirty dog John's affairs. He had several bastard kids running around Honolulu, rubbing salt in the wound.

She was unable to have her own biological children. I'll do it. Against John's wishes, she adopted three children, one of which was the illegitimate son, a husband had with one of her own maids. Fucking hell, ma'am. Lily Uo Kalani and John lived apart for most of their marriage. and she kept herself busy without her husband under her feet, throwing herself into philanthropy and the arts.

But Liliuokalani's life was about to get a whole lot more interesting when her birth brother, David Kalakawa, ascend it to the throne. The Kameha line ended in 1872 when the 5th King died without naming a successor, so the Hawaiians elected their king for the first time. But it wasn't great choice. They chose a guy with a nickname Whiskey Bill, famous for his fondness of boozing. And he died of TB after just a year on the throne.

And that left a pretty contentious power gap. While the Americans favoured her brother David, the British were angling to push her bestie Dowager Queen Emma into the hot seat instead. And it really kicked off on Election Day 1874 as British naval officers on Team Emma attacked American legislators in what became known as the Honolulu Courthouse Riot.

King David Kalakawa ultimately won 39 votes to six, which in the midst of a riot is very impressive and was elected King of Hawaii. This did put a bit of a dent in her relationship with her best friend, but Liliuakalani was now officially a princess. King Kalakawa was initially chummy with the American. sugar barons, going along with their demands for lighter tariffs on sugar exports and giving them yet more political power. And at first he certainly enjoyed Lendolce Vita. He built the lavish

Eolani Palace, which had plumbing and electricity a decade before the White House. That's very impressive. And he was the first Hawaiian king to travel the world. So while her big brother was away on tour, the princess was left in charge as regent and still found the free time to go. composed probably the most famous Hawaiian song ever. Aloha O. They featured in Lilo and Stitch and was even covered by Elvis. I would argue that the most famous Hawaiian song ever is the ukulele cover of

somewhere over the rainbow. Let's rewrite. Let's rewrite Hawaiian history. But she went through a rough patch when her three best friends, her her her nice sister, Bernice, Pauwahi Bishop, biological sister, Princess Miriam Laika, Lika, and lifelong pal, Queen Emma,

all died in quick succession. I only thought of this because she has a friend called Benice Bishop. Rachel Fairbairn of Orkilineophila came off on my TikTok yesterday. Did you know that Hitler had a sister? No. Well, he did. And her name was Pamela.

Pamela. Pamela Hitler. Pamela Hitler. And Rachel's got a whole bit about it. She's like, it's like someone in the office who you really hate. It's like, you're fucking Pablo Hitler. I know. It would have only been better if it was Karen.

Yeah, imagine. What history could have been. Exactly. What we could have known, what we could have seen. So yeah, our princess here is not having a great time. All her friends are dead and she's obviously naturally bummed up. about that. So the king sent her on a royal tour in 1887 to try and cheer her up. And she even got to hang out with Queen Victoria during the Golden Jubilee celebrations in London. But the trip

had to be cut short because it was all kicking off at home. It turned out that the American sugar daddies had decided to repay King Kalakawa's loyalty to them by royally fucking him over. How uncharacteristic. The Honolulu Rifles are voluntary. military company made up of mainly white soldiers surrounded the king's house. He was forced at gunpoint to sign a new constitution for Hawaii in July 1887. Aptly named the bayonet constitution, it stripped the Hawaiian monarchy of pretty much all of its powers, and, on top of that stripped two-thirds of native Hawaiians of the ability to vote. And then, the final blow.

The 1890 Tariff Act, a law that eliminated tax on sugar imports to the USA destroying Hawaii's duty-free advantage for good. The King died of a stroke age just 54, while in California negotiating these new tariffs in 1891, reportedly and very believably heartbroken by how brazenly the Americans had betrayed him. And as the late King's oldest living sibling,

Liliu O'Kalani was crowned queen nine days later. She would be the first and the last queen of Hawaii. Inconveniently, Liliolani's husband, John, died just a few months after her coronation. Archibald Clareghorn, her sister's British widower, became her new advisor upon her husband's death. And he urged Lilioclani to abdicate the throne to his throne, to his son. 17-year-old daughter, Princess Keulani, as a less threatening prospect to the rising anti-monarchy brigade. But did Lili Okalani listen? Hell no. Instead, she got to work trying to replace the bayonet constitution with her own version, which would restore her powers and bring the vote

back to all Hawaiians. Basically, it was a big fuck-you to all the guys who had screwed over her brother. And, like, completely understandable. Yeah. I would like two-thirds of my people to be able to vote, please, in this constitutional monarchy that I did not sign up for. But unsurprisingly, this did kick up an almighty stink. Baltered by the Honolulu rifles, the American politicians plotting to overthrow the monarchy set up a club called the Committee of Safety. The Future Planning Commission. It's like where Sam's parents live in Australia used to be called Shark Bay.

Now it's called Safety Bay. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not convinced. Thanks, though. Office of Straiting strategies. And they called Liliocalani's proposed constitution greedy, tampering and revolutionary, spreading rumours that the natives were planning to rise up and slaughter them. For them to consolidate their power in Hawaii, Queen Lilioccalani was going to have to go. The Committee of Safety called on their buddies in the US Navy to station 162 armed sailors

to quote-unquote protect American lives on the property in Hawaii. and those 162 armed sailors strategically were located around Honolulu. And whilst they didn't fire a single shot, their presence was enough to give any royalist defenders the hebi-jeebies and stopped them from speaking up. The coup marched to the palace in January 1893, and they deposed Queen Liliulu O'Kalani, and martial law was declared.

Thousands took to the street in protest. Liliu O'Kalani agreed to temporarily relinquish her throne. She was confident that once he had heard her story, the president of the US, would sort out all of his naughty countrymen and restore her. And Grover Cleveland was sympathetic, at first. The government offered compensation of $25,000 a year for Liliocalani and a lump sum of $150,000 for the princess, Kailani, in exchange for amnesty for those involved.

in the coup. But Liliocalani told them to stick it. Her usurpers deserved death for their actions. Now this, of course, didn't do her any favors with the Americans. Hawaii was incorporated as a U.S. territory in 1894. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at bellairdirect.com.

There's no shortcut for saving time. But saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at bellair direct.com. But, Liliu O'Kalani wasn't going down without a fight. A part-native Hawaiian soldier named Robert Wilcox led a rebellion in January 1895, in a last ditch attempt to revert the bayonet constitution and fight the US occupation. But he did manage it, the rebellion failed.

and the Americans, unsurprisingly, responded very brutally. And among those arrested for this conspiracy was none other than Liliu Okalani herself. Her diaries were confiscated and her home was ransacked. The Queen was accused of revolutionary activity, including storing firearms for the rebellion and dragged in front of a military tribunal in her own throne room. She was sentenced five years of hard labour.

which was later reduced to house arrest in an upstairs bedroom at the palace. And when she was asked to officially abdicate, she said that she would choose death over surrender, which was very noble. Unfortunately, when several of her supporters faced death by hanging, she was forced to sign on the dotted line and relinquish her power in exchange for their lives. She said of the Hawaiian people,

It is for them that I would give the last, drop of my blood. It is for them that I would spend, nay, am spending, everything belonging to me. During her two years of house arrest, Lili Okalani was visited by well-wishers, his mugged in news by wrapping bouquets of flowers in the daily papers. As always, she was a busy gal, making a patchwork quilt full of words, images and symbols to represent the history of Hawaii and her dreams for its future. She composed some more hits as well, and even translated the Hawaiian creation myths, the Kumalipo, which previously had only been passed on orally. Liliocallani was released in October 1896 after receiving an official pardon. But was it too late for Hawaii's freedom? Yes. In 1897,

a bill proposing the annexation of Hawaii into the USA went through Congress. Liliocalani and her niece, Princess Kealani lent their voices to the campaign against it. But then the Spanish-American War kicked off and the USA needed a strong naval base in the Pacific to fight the Spanish-controlled Philippines. Hawaii, with its glimmering Pearl Harbor, looked like the perfect spot. And so the USA officially annexed Hawaii in 1898, breaking international law and devastating the population. Very stupid question. And I know that this is like, you know how everyone talks about how.

our perception of the size of countries that's wrong because of the way our maps are drawn. How close is Hawaii to the Philippines? Because in my head, they're on opposite sides of the map. But I suppose that probably means quite close. I actually don't know. Let's look it up. 5,440 miles.

It's quite a lot. But I guess there's not really anything else in the way. Except Hawaii. Yeah. If you're going that way. Right. Okay, that makes more sense, and now I understand. Got it.

So yeah, the US annexes, Hawaii and the Hawaiian flag was taken down from outside, the palace, and replaced by billowing stars and stripes at the annexation ceremony, signaling that Hawaii was now the 50th U.S. state. But like most of her fellow native Hawaiians, Liliu Kulani refused to attend. Strip to her former power, Liliu Kulani, was recognised as simply Mrs Lydia Dominus. But make no mistake, she remained an inspirational queen for the rest of her days. She went back to live in her marital home, Washington Place in Honolulu.

Surviving multiple health issues, including cancer, paralysis of the legs and Alzheimer's, Liliu Okolani devoted her remaining years to supporting native Hawaiian causes. In 1909, she created the Liliuokalani Trust, dedicated to sport. supporting destitute Hawaiian children, especially those of native blood. And she told her adopted daughter, Lydia Aholo, I could not turn back the tide for political change. But there is still time to save our heritage. You must remember, never to cease, to act because you fear you may fail.

And the last Queen of Hawaii died in 1917, at 79 years old, after a stroke. She was given a state funeral and laid-in state for seven days, during which thunder loudly rumbled overhead, which is considered a good omen in Hawaiian culture. So just like she did in life, she went out with a bang. The Queen's legacy lives on, through the Liliocalani Trust, a cause more vital than ever. Data has found that native Hawaiians experience higher than average levels of poverty,

homelessness, unemployment, incarceration, ill health, school failure, substance abuse, suicide, and welfare dependency than the general. US population. And despite President Bill Clinton publicly acknowledging the US's wrongdoing in 1993, a move that can only be described in the good words of Jojo as maybe too little too late, the people continue to feel the damaging effects of their land being stolen. The biggest issue? Tourism. Whilst it does, of course, boost the island's economy. The tourism industry mainly lines the pockets of the foreign corporations rather than the Hawaiian people,

who often are just employed in low-paying service jobs. So if you're lucky enough to board a plane to the tropical paradise of Hawaii, at least now you know a little bit more about its history. And if you get a chance, pop in and visit Queen Lilioccalani at her resting place in the Royal Mausoleum at Mauna Alaa, and tell her we sent you. Or that maybe this is controversial, don't go at all. It's tricky, isn't it, when with a country that's so dependent on tour, but we were thinking about going quite a few years ago

and then my friend who's Californian was like there was a water shortage, I think, of something like that. And she was like, don't. Like loads of native Hawaiians are like all of the water is going to the hotels and the resorts and we're struggling. So just do your research before you go

would be the advice I would give. As to anything, just think about it before you do. Absolutely. I agree. So that's it. That is the history, a brief history of Hawaii.

And we'll see here next week for another short hand. Aloha. There's no shortcut for saving time, but saving money is simple. Just combine your car and home insurance with Bel Air Direct and save. Get a quote at bellairdirect.com.