Regulation Podcast - 90's Lost in Detroit // That's When Things Go Wrong [93]

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

DON'T EAT LUNCH DURING THIS EPISODE Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Detroit fun, Emily's birthday, snow, airbnb key, heat tutorials, Pistons, lost, cheese chair, nacho haver, flat tire, Pudgy Penguins, Amon-Ra St Brown, the presents, clogged toilet, Taco Bell, Benihana, gamertags, the gloves, rotting meat, Gavin has a clip, valley of interest, and chair number. Sponsored by Factor. Thanks Factor! Go to FACTORMEALS.com/REGULATION50OFF and use code REGULATION50OFF to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year.  New subscribers only, varies by plan. 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year while subscription is active. Also sponsored by Shopify. Sign up for a $1/month trial at shopify.com/regulation Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Andrew, we're trapped in the time machine. Andrew, you have to help us. Andrew, what's it like inside the time machine? Do you like it here? It's glowy. It's their, why are there feathers everywhere? Why is this happening? There's feathers everywhere

because this Friday at 4 p.m. Central time, we're gonna live on Twitch. And then at 4.10 PM Central, we're going to have a bunch of new merch. Oh my God, it's new patches and it's coins. Andrew. Are you flipping coins? We're flipping coins. We're doing things.

We're selling coins on Friday, on Twitch. Also, Nick won't be there, so you can't hear them in the time machine. I think that was Nick. I couldn't tell, though, because of all the feathers. Why are there feathers here instead of coins? That would have made way more sense for what this is about. Twitch.com. The regulation pod 4 p.m. Central time.

4.10. for all of the merch. Gavin, let him know. Hey guys, it's Jeff. I just showed up in the time machine. What did I miss? Where's the coins are? Oh, it's recording.

Hello. I'm quitting this company. Oh, and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is episode 93. My name is Trigger Man. And with me, as always, A colorful cast of character. No, wait, I'm not Trigger Man.

I'm the Candy Man. God damn what I hate these. Welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is episode 93. My name is Jeff Ranjy with me. As always, Andrew Pant and Gavin Free, Nick Schwartz, Eric Baddor. They go by other names from time to time. Occasionally you've heard me referred to as the Candy Man.

I don't mind. How's everybody doing? Fantastic, Jeff. How are you? I'm good, Andrew. Although I will say, Eric threatened me this morning on the street before in pleasantries that were, it was not so pleasant. Whoa.

He asked me, he said, did you deserve to live yesterday? And I said, as a matter of fact, I did. I've had a really good week. And he said, I'll make sure you feel differently tonight. Yeah, that's right. Hey, Jeff, can you give us about half an episode of stories? Go for it. Jesus Christ.

Do you, boy. Gavin, what is your wife told you about the trip we had together to Detroit over the weekend? She has told me like the first. first five words to so many moments and I've just been like, uh, be like, uh, be to, gotta save it for the podcast.

Don't tell me anything. It sounds like, I wasn't able to go on this trip. It sounds like it was fun. Yes. But you had an absolute mayor almost every single day. It was fun. I think,

well, I'll say this. It was fun for everybody. I laughed more over that trip than I've can remember laughing in a long time. Like, I genuinely, I think everybody had the time of their lives. And you were missed, believe me. But, and mostly because we felt bad that we were having so much fun without you.

But for me specifically, there was more to it because I was dealing with all of the things that went wrong. And in true my life fashion, things went wrong every eight seconds. It was, first off, the whole point of the trip was me and Meg and Emily and Bernie and Vanessa all went to Detroit for like four days. Emily and I went for a little bit longer. She wanted to spend some time with her family because it was Emily's 40th birthday. We wanted to celebrate her however she wanted to be celebrated.

And she wanted to go to Detroit badly and go to a Pistons game. And then I took her to see the traveling phantom of the opera at the opera house there. And that was amazing. And we had a wonderful time. But she wanted to spend time with her friends as well. So you guys all very graciously flew up with us. And we rented this big house in Detroit, like a big old fancy Tudor mansion. and just had this wonderful time hanging out in Detroit together.

Here's how started. Emily was the advanced team. She got there eight in the morning, got the house, got the rental car, big ass Ford expedition or whatever, whatever their version of like the suburban is, right? And got everything set up, went to the grocery store, stocked the fridge, did all that. While Meg, Bernie, Vanessa, and I flew in that evening.

because, you know, we had to record the podcast and stuff. And so this was last Thursday. We get in at like, I don't know, 8 or 9 o'clock at night. It's 12 degrees in Detroit, and it's snowing sideways, you know, which is fine. And Emily picks us up at the airport and she takes us to the house, driving in snow, which she's never done before. She does a great job. It's a little precarious and a little scary, but we get used to it real fast.

Pull up into this, into this awesome house. Everybody gets out. It's fucking cold. right? Emily grabs a snow shovel she got from her dad and shovels off real fast. She's like, she shovels off the sidewalk for us so that we have an easy walk up to the door, which is very kind

of her. We get up to the front door, she goes to open it. She goes, where's the key? Where's the, where's the key? I had the key in my, I had the key of my hand. How did I lose? I had the key in my pocket and then I put it on my hand. And it's like, it's an Airbnb, so they don't give us like a big key ring. They give us one fucking little key with nothing else attached to it.

She pulled it out of a lockbox, you know, like it's like your tour in a house or sale. Yeah. And she goes, I somehow lost the key while I was, I guess while I was snow shoveling. And it is, you know, 10 p.m. now or something. 15 degrees outside, 10 degrees outside, actively snowing, a lot of wind.

And we start looking through the snow for a key. Oh, no. A tiny brass key. Do you have lights on at least or is it dark? We're all using our phones. So we're using our phones as flashlight and we're combing the yard, the walkway, everything. Probably a good 10 minutes before we just can't find the key.

So Emily calls the Airbnb guy. That poor son of a bitch spent a lot of time on the phone that weekend with us. And calls the Airbnb guy and he's like, well, there's no other key but I can give you the code to get in through the garage. And we go, fuck, that's awesome. That's a great idea.

So he gives us the code, we punch it in, and the guy goes, eh, and it doesn't fucking move. Try it again, doesn't move. Have to call the Airbnb guy back. He goes, oh, yeah, it's so cold outside the garage is probably frozen. What you got to do is you try it like twice, and then it like locks down for like five minutes. And he said, if you just like try it enough times, eventually it'll unfreeze and you can get it up that way. So Emily then just starts trying to get the goddamn garage door open. We're another probably 15 minutes in, maybe 20, 25 minutes into the whole process.

Vanessa and I are still just like comb in the yard. And suddenly in a spot that all of us have walked over and looked at a hundred times, Vanessa goes, where's the key? It was right there in the middle of the walkway. And I don't know how we, it just looked like a leaf. And everybody missed it. So we get into the house finally after freezing our dicks off outside. I would just love to see an angle like POV of the key, looking up at everyone's

I know. Just my fucking foot going on at me, making eye contact with it probably. And so I was like 10 minutes away from us having to like go to a hotel or something, you know. And so we get in and it's awesome. And the house is warm and cozy. And Emily has prepared it for us and it's adorable. We all go up to our respective rooms. And every room is toasty warm.

Except for our room. The birthday girls room. Our room is 30 degrees. It's freezing because the, The house is one, everything in Detroit's a thousand years old, right? And so this is like a 150 year old house. So it doesn't have central AC in the way we do in the south. It has those split level things that are up in the ceiling, which I instinctively hate because I don't know them.

But turns out they're not bad. However, it's not turned it on and it's not working. And so we spend like a half an hour trying to get it to work. Call the Airbnb guy back. He sends us a YouTube tutorial video on how to use it. I watch a, I shit you not a 15 minute tutorial video sitting on a bed in this room, do everything it says, still not working, still not turning on, just, I mean, it lights up and stuff, but it never kicks in. So I kind of just give up, because at this point it's like 11 p.m.

and everybody's hanging out downstairs and having fun and, you know, joking and laughing and watching the Olympics and shit, and I'm up here on a bed in a strange house just fighting with this little AC unit, or this little heater. So I just grab a space heater because we brought one over from Emily's parents' house just in case, because once again, Emily's a hell of a planner, man. And we plug it in, and I just walk out the door, come back upstairs like 20 minutes later to check and see if the room's a little warmer. And it turns out the space heater tripped a breaker. And so I just have no electricity in my bedroom or bathroom now. Rest of the house is fine. Go down into the basement, which is definitely a basement people who have been tortured and murdered in.

Like, it's a labyrinth. It's 2,000 square foot basement with, like, Heidi holes. And I'm sure there are hill people living in it while we're there. Like, it's just creepy and scary in every way you can imagine. Find the breaker box. Burndog and I do. Flip every breaker in the house. Poor Meg was trying to take a shower, I think.

And we just kept turning the fucking power off on it. And flip every breaker in the house. Makes no difference. cannot get the electricity back on. At this point, it's midnight. I can't call the Airbnb guy at midnight. So we just, luckily, because once again, Emily is a prepper, not like a doomsday prepper.

Although if there was a doomsday, I'm sure she would be pretty quickly prepped for it. She bought and shipped to her parents' house an electric blanket just in case because she gets cold. So we get an extension cord because luckily the house is full of extension cords, honestly. And so we find an extension cord and we run an extension cord from the hallway into the bed

and then we huddle up under an electric blanket and that's how we sleep for the night. While everybody else is like too hot because it's so toasty in the house, right? I'm surprised that didn't trip a breaker. Well, yeah, I guess not. It was fine in the hallway. So get up the next morning.

The first thing I do, Emily is not happy. She did not sleep well. I slept great. But I go downstairs. I start tripping breakers again. Immediately fixes it. Come back upstairs. Everything's on.

No idea why it didn't work last night. Didn't do anything differently this morning. I was just like, just, I don't know that electricity needs time, but apparently are, that this house just needed a little bit of time, right? So what do you say you tripped the breaker? Was one of them not actually? No, they were all far. Okay. Weird. What if it was like a fuse or something?

I don't, I don't know. I don't know. There was one that was kind of weird, but it was listed for the third floor hallway, not the second floor main bedroom, you know? And didn't seem to have any effect on it. But anyway, so tripping all that worked. then miraculously the heater started to work. Didn't do anything differently. It just kicked in and started to work.

I don't know why it didn't work last night, you know, but I did everything in the 15-minute tutorial video, but maybe it would have kicked in had I not killed the power. Sure. 15 minutes after I did it. I don't know. But so then I think, okay, well, that was fine. That was an ideal first night,

but we got through it. We have a key. We have heat. You know? We have electricity. in our room. So we go about having a great day, hanging out, having fun. That night, we're going to go to a Pistons game. I don't know why, but we asked Kent to get, like, where we should park because nobody wants to walk in the cold. And he's like, got a perfect parking

spot. He told us to get parking here. We all, like, because it's just like me and Kent and Sarah, Emily's sister and her parents. And so there's a lot of cars going to the game. And so we all got parking passes. Get into the car to go, pull out, uh, are driving towards the game and start to hear this in the back, the, the, but, but, but, but, the, the, but, but, but the back, right of the car. Actually, I can't hear it. Emily can't hear it. We're in the front.

Meg hears it. And Bernie and Vanessa hear it a little bit. It gets a little bit louder as we go. We pull over. Bernie and I check the wheel well. We check the tire. We can't see anything wrong. Everything's fine.

Tire looks fine. Weird. Get back in, drive a few minutes more. Same problem. Pull over. Check it again. Totally fine. Get to the game.

Park at the point. parking lot, outdoor parking lot, and look at the tire again. And sure enough, there is a giant bolt in the tire. A mat with a washer. Whoa. Now, Gavin, you have access to these photos, right? Oh, because Meg said it? Yeah, because it's in the group photo. Would you, let me see if I can find it. Okay, I have it here too. Emily's in the other room sending me these files. I didn't have a chance to prep all that this morning. All right, so I'm going to put this photo up so you can see what I'm talking about.

Yeah, as soon as I glanced this, I just looked away. I was like, I can't know about this yet. I don't think I've ever seen what you're describing. You'll see it in a second. Let me tell you. I've seen plenty of like nails and that type of thing, but like full bolt. Okay, here we go. Yeah.

So here's a picture. Oh, shit. Holy shit. Oh my God. It does have a washer. The washer. It looks like somebody manually put it in. Like it is perfectly wedged.

There, what the fuck? I've never seen that. What? Did that surely. Like a bolt doesn't have a shop end either. It's flat. Dude,

you ain't kidding. So I, I, uh, I think when Bertie and I would pull over and look at the tire, it was just on, it was just, we just managed to park on the bolt every time.

So now I'm like in this parking lot, looking at this tire and realizing there's this giant fucking thing in it. And I go, but we got all the way here. It was like a 30 minute drive. And we didn't lose any tire pressure. So maybe it's sealed because of the washer. Maybe we'll be okay. I don't know. There's nothing I can really do about it right now anyway because we're about to go into a game.

And everybody's like, fuck it. We'll deal with it after the game. And I'm like, we're not going to want to deal with this tire at 11 o'clock at night in downtown Detroit in the snow after this game. But I kind of agree. fuck it. I've been dealing with shit the entire trip so far. Let's just go enjoy the game. So we walk, turns out, and the reason I bring this up, turns out, the parking

lot is very far away from Little Caesar's arena. Like 10 blocks in the snow. And it's incredibly cold and windy. And so we make this trek all the way passing hundreds of parking spots that were much closer, I'd like to point out.

Was Ken taking the piss? Or did he actually think that was good parking? I think he just thought it was good. I don't know. I think he thought it was good parking. It was good for him. They're not affected by the cold in the way we are. You know, it's like they live there. Did he lose sight unseen trust? Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Never again. Never again. He's got to gain it back.

Love them to death, but I won't be letting him pick our parking ever again. So we walk all the way to Little Seedars Arena and then Emily goes, do you have the keys? And I go, no, I thought you did. And then I look and I realize in the, like in the, in the, in the, chaos of looking at the tire, I've left the keys in the car. So she goes, let's go back and get him. And I go, no, you guys go forward. Here's where it got complicated. I had all the tickets on my phone.

I had 10 tickets. I had 10 pistons tickets all on my phone, on my ticket master. So I'm like, here, take my phone. And she's like, what? I'll come with you. And I'm like, no, no, no, don't worry about that. You let everybody in the fucking game. so they're not standing around in the cold.

I'll hump back to the car and get the keys. And 10 blocks in the sideways snow to get the keys. And so I give her my phone and then I just turn on and take off and I start heading back. And I'm a block and a half away

when I realize, I don't know where the parking lot is. I'm following people all the way there. No. You're Chris Damaris. I instantly then realize, oh, I just gave Emily my phone. I have no way to contact anybody.

God. Now you're like 90s lost. Now I'm like 90s lost. I'm like, dude, where's my car lost? And so I just, I think you can you can reverse engineer this. You must have taken in enough information to get back to the car quickly and safely.

And I'll be, I'm proud to say I did it. You did it? I got all the way back to the car. And sure enough, the keys were, the car was open and the keys were just in the cup holder. So I grab them. I, by the way, I ran the entire way back

and then all 10 blocks in the snow and then I turned around and I was able to run about halfway back before I just couldn't do it anymore and I walked the rest of the way. So by the time I get to Little Caesar's Arena, I'm ready to go to bed. I'm exhausted. I'm fucking, I've hit, just about hit muscle failure

and in this intense cold and I realize I can't get in the building without the tickets, but once you get in the building you can't come back out. Well, and you also can't say can I have a ticket? I don't know how to contact anybody. So I just stand outside for like five minutes thinking somebody will come get me, you know?

I don't see anybody. Somebody would come get you? I don't know. Emily would know to come get me. Eventually, you've clearly, you're missing. Yeah. And so, but I'm too cold. I can't stand outside in the cold anymore.

So I just go through security and then just stand to the side. And as I'm doing that, Emily's like they're waiting for me. We just couldn't see each other through the. 10 billion people coming into the game. That's unreal. Wow. And so she gets me in and we go in and then I'm good from that point on. However, I guess when we're filling in, I go in first. We have like two rows of chairs.

I go in first. We have like boys up top, girls at the bottom or vice for it. However it was like girls in one row boys in the other row. And I go all the way in and then I hear a kerfuffle. I don't know what's going on. There's a lot of people standing up and moving around and looking and there's paper towels everywhere. I don't really know what's going on because it's on the other side of the thing. I find out later that when Emily comes in, her jacket, I guess, she was holding it, dipped

into some kids nacho cheese, some kids naches, and covered her jacket in nacho cheese without her knowing about it. Okay. So then she ends up sitting in a sitting down in a chair or something and then getting up and moving over and then Meg sits in that chair. And then somehow Meg is covered in nacho cheese. No. And Emily is covered in macho cheese. And the chair is covered in nacho cheese. It became the cheese chair.

Nobody sat in it because we had an extra ticket because Gavin didn't go. And so it was where we were going to pile our coats up, but nobody wanted to get cheese on the coats. Anyway, so, by the way, Emily and Meg were cleaning cheese off their clothes the rest of the weekend. Oh, this is Friday. On Sunday, Meg is finding cheese on her jacket still. It was apparently that little bit of cheese went everywhere.

Was there any reaction of the nach's owner? the holder the notches? It was a kid. I don't know if he noticed. Like I said, I wasn't there and I didn't find out about this until after the game, really. I just love this stealth cheese spreading like a virus. No one's even noticed it. Like it was all over two people before either of them knew

that there was cheese to the game with. I imagine he got halfway through his notches was like, where did all my cheese go? Nacho havo is a good shirt. Nacho haver is a good shirt. I saw somebody say, I, fuck, somebody had a funny idea on Reddit for a Fram shirt, but I can't remember it now.

So anyway, games over. Pistons win, beat the Knicks, it was awesome. Everybody yelled at Jalen Brunson all night. It was really fun. Yeah, get him. Yeah, we got him. And then they beat the shit out of the Celtics two days later,

so we didn't get them enough, apparently. So then we get up and it's time to leave. Conditions outside of deteriorated. It takes us twice as long to get back to the car in the snow and the ice. It's colder, it's windier, it's worse, and as I'm getting closer to the car, I know I'm going to get to a car

that has a problem I'm going to have to deal with, right? Oh, man. What is the... Sorry, just to interject from me, what's the vibe from Kent? He's with the group in this? The vibe's fine. Like I said, nobody else seems to have a problem.

Like Kent and Sarah and those guys are like, yeah, it's cold. It's cold. We're fine. We're not wimps like you guys, you know? I feel like I know Kent quite well. I assume he's, like, smiling and... shrug in at everyone's uh, disdain for the walk.

Probably something like that, yeah. I'd be so uncomfortable. I'd feel so much guilt. If he did, it wasn't on display. I'm not sure it's been on display for that man. So this is a, uh, this is a picture from the next day because you're going to see it in the daylight,

but it is essentially what the tire looked like when I got back to it. So, Oh, it's so fucked. Tires. Tires. Does not get much flatter. It gets a little flatter. It gets a little flatter. Did you pocket bolt down to try and stop some of the air coming out?

No, I didn't think about that. But I should have. Because it had held pressure the entire like 30 minute ride there or whatever, 25 minute right there. So I get in the car and I'm like, it's mostly flat. We'll just like limp to a gas station, put air in it and get home. It's midnight. I'm not dealing with AAA or Hertz or whatever at midnight, right?

Get into the car, it has six PSI. On the tire thing. And I'm like, yeah, it's not my car. Fuck it. We paid for the insurance, right? So we drive two miles an hour, which is fun, by the way, in post-game traffic. People fucking honking their horns and yelling and screaming and wanting to go home.

There's 15, 20,000 people trying to leave Little Caesar's Arena and we're going four miles an hour down the road on a flat tire. Get to the first gas station, go outside, of course it's a dollar machine to pump up the air. Nobody has cash. Thank God Meg or somebody goes in and gets this money. And Byndog and I stand outside.

It takes what feels like a half an hour to fill this thing up, right? We get it up to about like 36 PSI eventually. It took so long. You know, you turn that you put you put quarters in. The machine kicks on. It kicks on for five minutes. It turns off. We did two full rounds.

It kicked off the second time before we got enough air. You're filling up a bucket with a hole in it. Yeah. I assume it to get it to 36 PSI, that wash has got to be doing some work. It definitely was. So we get enough PSI in it, and then we drive it home.

And by the time we get home, we're from like 36 PSI down to, I don't know, 27 or something. So I'm happy with that. We make it home. And then Emily and I are like, we'll just call Hertz in the morning, have them come out, take care of it. Easy peasy, no problem, right?

Go to bed. everything's fine get up the next day everybody's still like eating breakfast and watching the Olympics I'm outside with the AAA guy Emily Coles hurts gross Andrew

I'm outside with the say apologize or something I'm outside with the triple A guy and takes him he's actually pretty fast but he's you know changing a tire it's 10 degrees outside luckily the Ford has a

a full-size spare. It's one of the ones that's like under the car so you have to go into the back into the hatchback and then like open a bolt and it drops down and so it has a full-size spare

he puts it on. He takes the original spare. I thought he would have like put it back under the car the original tire and rolled it up but I guess they don't do that. So he just like and it's like eight degrees outside

so who am I to say? So he just throws it in the back where you know at the back of the hatch of the expedition where we were going to put luggage and shit and it just barely fits. By the way these tires

have you ever picked up a tire on a Ford expedition. It's about 60 pounds. It's fucking pet. Those things are no fucking joke. It took him and I to put it in the car. So he's like, you'll be fine. I'm like, okay, cool.

And that's it. We're just have a spare tire now. Cold days, big goals, and no time to cook. Factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dieticians and crafted by chefs. So eat well without the planning or cooking. Like me.

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Go to Shopify.com slash regulation. That's Shopify.com slash regulation. The next day, I can't remember. No, it was later that day. I realize I have to go get Emily's birthday cake. So it's her 40th birthday. I wanted to do something very special for her. She loves these fucking penguins on TikTok.

There's a pink one and a blue one. And they're in love. And they have these little cartoons. I think they're called pudgy penguins maybe where they're like, they're like cute little relationship TikToks. And the penguins are adorable. So I found this cake shop. They're kind of famous now because they did,

I don't know if you guys remember when Amunrah St. Brown scored a touchdown last year. And then he did that thing where he stood on his head and his feet rubbing in the air. The vertical cake? They made that vertical cake. him like that, that like seven foot cake. I hired those people to make this cake. Oh, wow. And so it ended up being, I don't know, Detroit, right? So it ended up being 45 minutes away from where I was in Detroit.

Everybody else is having a fun time. This is my task. I've just dealt with this guy. I honestly need a little bit of, as Emily calls up, Barbie time where I just need to be alone because I've been dealing with a lot of frustration on this trip already. So I figured the trip out to get Emily's cake will do me good. So I get into the newly fixed car. I strike out 45 minutes. I get to the cake shop. girls are like, oh, you're that guy. And I'm like, well, what does that mean? And then they pull out the cake. It takes two of them to pull out the cake.

This cake is fucking massive, dude. You can see the pictures. I don't know if you have seen the pictures on Instagram. Let me see if I can attach one here. So it's just, it's like a long cake. Are we talking a vertical kind of cake? Here, I'll show you right here. That's it.

Okay, so, oh, it's the two, the cakes are the two penguins. The cakes are 3D are 3D-sculpted penguins. They're about 15 inches high, about a foot and a half high maybe. Whoa. And somewhere between a foot and a foot and a half high, they're huge. They're about the circumference of a tire, it turns out. So I get there and the girls are like, where do you want us to put this in the car? They can't lift it.

I have to help them. And we have to take it out on a cart. The boxes, you can imagine the box that they come in. And the only place to put it in the entire Ford, is where the tire is. And so I don't know what else to do. So I take the tire out of the back and I, there are two girls

and I put the cake into the back. It barely fits. Then I have this giant tire. What the fuck do I do with this tire? I have to return this to AAA or to Hertz, right? Like, I'm not going to get away with not, with not returning the tire. And so I have to put the tire

in the cab with me. So here's a picture of me and the tire driving home. This tire became my best friend. This is like you take a selfie with people at conventions. Yeah. So I drive 45.

Actually, it just takes me about an hour and 15 minutes to get home because the roads in Detroit are dog shit and I've got a $800 cake in the back that I'm trying not to destroy. And so I very slowly, the tire and I get the cake home and safely.

I'm terrified the whole way. Every bump I hit, I know I'm going to come home, and the blue penguin is going to be smashed into the pink penguin, or one of their arms is going to have fallen off, or suddenly the penguin doesn't have a no, whatever, you know? Yeah, I feel like, depending on the impact, that tie is killing you or two penguins. Yes.

Oh, absolutely. Someone's going down. So I get home and am horrified to open the back of the trunk. I open it, so scared, cake's fine. Nothing wrong. Survived impeccably. You can't. This cake could.

could survive a nuclear war. This is a tough fucking cake. I'm no longer worried about the cake. That goes incredibly well. I'm so fucking happy that the cake is safe. So then I go in and we have to like prep for the party. I brought a bunch of streamers and a happy birthday sign and a bunch of stuff. And then Megan and Vanessa went out and got a bunch of stuff as well.

And then we're just like waiting for Emily to go to bed so we can decorate the goddamn house for her party. and she doesn't go to bed until 1 a.m. And we're like, please go to bed. Finally, she does. So then we get together and I had brought, I'd wrapped all the presents before I left. I brought a whole suitcase just with wrapped presents, but I didn't want to put bows and stuff on until I got here

because I figured that would get all fucked up, right? And so I sit down at 1 a.m. And I start wrapping, finishing the wrapping on her presents. I bring a hot glue gun. I bring tape. I bring scissors. I bring 30 different kinds of ribbon. I bought a bunch of fake flowers and I cut them

and I hot glue them, and I make these little bouquets on the presents, and it takes me about an hour to do all that while they're decorating. And then as I'm putting the presents in on the table, I realize somehow I don't have two presents. Not just two presents. I don't have the two expensive presents,

the big presents, the nice presents, the jewelry presents. I don't know where they are. And I checked my bag. Did they get stolen at the airport? That I forget them at home when I was in the mad dash to get all this together by myself? because like it basically, we recorded the podcast that day.

As soon as we were done recording the podcast, I was running to put everything together and get all the presents together. Did I accidentally throw the presents away? I fucking hope not because they were expensive. And there's no way I can verify or check or discover what happened to those presents. I just have to live with the fact that I'm not going to figure out what happened to those two until I get home on Wednesday. This is Saturday.

So I'm happy to report when I got home. I found the presents. And I gave them to Emily. I just forgot to pack them in like the milieu of the whole thing, I guess. So that weighed heavily on me the entirety of the rest of the trip. And I didn't completely relax until I got home and found those two presents. Thank Christ. So that's fine.

We get up the next day and this is where things go wrong. What? This, I'm sorry. This is where things go wrong. Every day has been a disaster in some aspect. You know what? You know what? I'm missing one thing. Let me take it back. No, no. I'm not. I'll tell it later. Okay. So this is where things go wrong. I get up the next day and I have to go to the bathroom.

No. I take, listen, I have a disease, right? I have diverticulosis. We know about my condition. We know that I take a Mirilex every day. We know that I haven't taken a source. solid shit in a decade, right? Like, that's a well-documented thing. I basically pee, poop out of my butt every day of my life. It's like a Jackson Pollock paper. So, I don't have to worry about clogging toilets. I don't make enough mass to clog a toilet.

Oh, no. I take what's for me a very, very normal shit. Just a fine shit. and I go to flush in my upstairs bathroom and the toilet clogs.

No. I don't know how because I barely, I just, I basically just peed brown water into it. And so, I, uh,

I, I go, I look around, I'm a little, trying to figure out how to tell this that would be too gross. I look, around and I can't find a plunger.

So I go to the, I go to Bernie Vanessa's room, they don't have one. I go to Meg, he's like, yeah, I got a plunger. So she gives me this plunger. Have you wiped already, by the way? Yeah, I'm clean. I wiped. I white. That's the toilet paper that clogged the damn thing up, I guess. I, uh, I take the plunger and I go in and I start to plunge. And I go about like that, right? And this, this toilet is sitting, just imagine, it's, it's in the back right corner against a wall and to immediately to the left of it like six inches is a stand-up shower

and it's one of those stand-up showers that you just walk into it's three-walled and it's tiled it's kind of small it's very old and then there's no glass front there's just a curtain you pull shut right and the curtain's open because i don't know i took a shower and i plunge and i hear a noise i plunge again it doesn't seem to be looking, something catches my eye at the left. I look over to the left to see poop water bubbling up. Strap in,

baby! It gets worse. To see poop water bubbling up out of the drain into the shower. Like, just straight up brown shit water. And I

I, that intensifies my plunging. I plunge and I plunge and I plunge. I'm like, I gotta get this thing fixed. I plunge and plunge. Every time I plunge, it

makes the shower worse. So I eventually have to stop when the shower has three inches of standing people. Oh my God. No, I have not I have, I have For everybody's sake I have not taken photos of any of this

Thank God, thank you. I didn't, I didn't want to I don't want to make you guys suffer through that. I did, there is one photo I'll show you, but it's, uh, it's gonna be fine. Okay. I don't know what to do. I've got standing shit water in our shower.

The bathroom smells like shit. There's a toilet full of shit water and a, and a bathtub or a shower full of standing shit water. I can see little particles of my poop floating around in the floor of the shower.

This is miserable. Nobody else has any idea. Much like all the other bullshit, everybody else is having a great time downstairs. I tell Emily, I hate to do it,

but we got to call the landlord. Or call the Airbnb guy. Again, this is like our fourth call to the Airbnb guy in two days. He goes, stop plunging it. that'll just make it worse. No problem there.

He's right, by the way. And he goes, I'll have somebody there. They'll be there in like four hours. And I'm like, fuck me. That's a long time. That's gross. That's a lot of gross. No problem. I go downstairs. Go down the stairs. It's one of those big old houses that has like a wraparound staircase in the entryway that goes up.

And I guess the bathroom, my bathroom is right above the bottom of the stair in the entryway. Oh, no. I go downstairs and I see water on the ground. I'm gonna die. And I look up.

I'm gonna die. And I look up and I see coming out of the ceiling in the interior of the house is drippy little poop water. Where did it get outside of the pipes? I don't know. It's a 150 year old house

and I get the impression this is not the first time this has happened. You can see the ceiling where they have cut away the ceiling where it's dripping and have replastered it. So this is obviously something that they've dealt with before, right?

So I go, Emily, you got to call that guy back for the 80th time, and you got to tell him, your ceiling is dripping shit. Four hours is not going to cut it. Calls him back, the guy's like, I'll have somebody there immediately. Plummer comes. The rest of the people in the house

seem to be fairly clueless. I don't think they understood the gravity of this until much later, a day later, maybe. I'm trying to protect them from it, right? So I send them off. I'm like, why don't you guys go off and have a fun day? They went out and they explored. They went and had lunch in Indian Village.

They went and toured the Powabic Tile Factory. They had this great time together driving around. Everybody but Jeff. They sent me pictures of all them having lunch, sad without me. I wait for the plumber to get here. Plummer shows up. He walks upstairs with this pipe snake thing. He goes in.

He goes, and he looks at me and he goes it's real bad man okay and he goes I'm going to have to get the electric steak and I go yeah man whatever you got to do I don't give a shit

you know once again not my house he goes out he comes back in he's got this contraption on wheels that probably weighs 80 pounds it's got tanks on it of like I don't know I don't know what it's powering this thing but it's a fucking massive and it's just dripping

gross shit right already and he goes hey this is gonna make quite a mess do you want to maybe pull the carpet up on your stairs before I take it up there and I'm like A no B this is not my house C I don't know how to take this

the carpet's like stapled down and I'm like no I don't know what to do and he goes okay and he bum bum bum bum bum bum all the way up to the second floor leaves a line of brown and black

all the way up through the house from the front door all the way upstairs. So he goes up there and then he starts to get into work. I'm horrified and grossed out, right? So I go downstairs and I just start cleaning the poop line and trying to clean the stairs and the floor with a towel and I'm just working on. There's not, there's limited cleaning supplies. So after I get things kind of where it's not visibly gross, I go back to, to check on them. And the toilet is off. and it's in the other side of the room. And there's just a hole in the ground. And he's wearing giant yellow gloves

that are covered, absolutely covered in shit. Solid shit, my shit, years of shit, 150 years of shit. He looks horrified. This guy does this for a living. He's like, it's just real bad, man. And then eventually he takes off one of the gloves and he has to call his boss.

And he's on the phone with him or like 15 minutes trying to get advice or whatever. And he's like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And he's like, and he takes one look at it. He's like, I need to call a supervisor. And I'm just like hanging out in there as much as I can, but I'm also trying not to throw up and get in his way and stuff. And then he's like, all right, I'm going to be able to fix it.

And he's like, I'm sorry about the mess. And I'm like, yeah, no worries, I guess. And so I go back downstairs and I clean for a little bit longer. I come back upstairs. Well, I go back downstairs for a little bit longer. and then the walls start to vibrate. What? And let me send you this.

I hope this isn't going to be too powerful. I took a video. Yeah, I'm going to try the house first, but if it's too powerful, I'll put it on slack. I have been, just so you guys know, I've had the volume so low on Jeff telling the story that it's just barely audible because it feels like I have to be so far away

from everything that he's explaining. It's like, it's just chopping me down from the inside. is brutal, Jeff. I'm trying to evaluate. I think of all the trips you've taken and talked about. I think this is the one

I'd least like to be on. Yeah, I was... From your perspective. Up until the start of this podcast, I was so bummed I wasn't there. Once again, I had... This is how good the trip was.

None of this takes away from the trip to me. I still view the trip as one of the... What the fuck? Best trips I've been on. Jeff. What those guys?

It sounds like the house is haunted. I would... I would tend to agree. Guys, the fun was so much fun that it was more fun than this. And I'd also like to point out if any of you were on the trip with me, like Gavin, if you'd come, you wouldn't have experienced any of this. You would have been outside in the cold looking for a key. And that's about it. I dealt with the tire. I don't know about that because I... Yeah, I agree with Gavin. I get so much enjoyment from just being around you when stuff like this is going on.

I think I would have just stuck with you. Hung back and walked? Yeah. I would have hung back also, 100%. I would have been like, I'd be... doing my classic like 25% helping, 75% like trying not to fall over laugh. Check the video I uploaded. Did it come? The video that you sent

sounds like someone, it sounds like a group of men are working on your roof in fast forward. It's so loud. I don't know if you can tell, but the wall, you can't tell in the video, but the entire wall is shaking. And Nick,

if you want to like overlay the audio or something there so the people can hear it. Oh, yeah. All right. And so when that happens, I'm like, I got to go see what's going on. So I go upstairs. And at that point, he's putting stuff back together. He puts the toilet back in.

He's like, I got it as clean as I could. He's like, the shower is empty. And now it's just, you know, drying particles of poop on the ground in the shower. And so he leaves. He takes the machine down the stairs, puts a, a fresh line of shit down through the house. Here's the one photo I will send you guys. This is the snow outside where just like a little line.

No. It's going to make Gavin throw up. It's going to be Gavin throw up. Just a little line of poop water on the snow that's slow. I'm going back to the cake photo. I'm just going to look at these cute little penguins. So he leaves. I go to the store and I buy bleach and clear.

and I come home and I clean the floor and I clean the stairwell and the carpets and I clean the shower and I clean the toilet and I clean the bathroom and I clean three. I shit you not three feet up on one wall where the shit sprayed three feet up on the wall. Like it's my house. Like it's my home and it is my shit partially although I guarantee you there's 150 years of other people's shit in there. And I just, you know, you put it beside you and you deal with the trauma at hand and you The only way out is through, right? And so I spend like two hours, maybe hour and a half just cleaning up all the shit to get the house back in order.

And everything's fine after that. Then I reconvene with everybody they come home. They still don't really know what's gone on. And I'm sending them videos and stuff. They're not watching them. And then finally they see it and they're like, holy shit, that seems like a lot. And I was like, yeah, it was kind of a lot.

Then that night, It's like 8 p.m. We're exhausted. We're watching the fucking Olympics and just laughing and goofing around. And we decided to order Uber Eats. I order Taco Bell on my phone for everybody. What are you doing? At 8.30.

The immediate, you said the restaurant, everyone got mad at you. Yeah, dude. You know what happened. Order Taco Bell for everybody. For everybody. So you thought, well, I've tested out this one toilet. have everyone test out every toilet. All the other toilets seem to be fine.

Everyone got so mad at you. Taco Bell. It was just a, it's a lobby full of people who said Taco Bell and everyone went, fuck you. Everybody at the house was all about it. You know, they still have chili cheese burritos up there. They were shadowed by the darkness.

So we order Taco Bell. Two hours into my Taco Bell order. It has not arrived yet. And I can get no communication with the, driver. And so Meg is like, I'll order the Taco Bell through a different service. And we'll see which one gets here first. So we order the same Taco Bell order on Meg's account. 30 minutes into her order, they say there was a problem. We have to remake your order. We've assigned you a new driver. When it was all sudden done, both of our Taco Bells showed up within about 10 minutes of each other

at 1230 in the morning. So nobody ate dinner until after midnight. We got our Taco Bell. There is one minorly funny thing where Meg's delivery driver, let me see if I can find the Taco Bell photo. God damn it. Meg's delivery driver left the Taco Bell on the tire. Which was kind of funny. Sorry, I apologize.

That's the one photo I don't have prepped here. Well, you'll just have to trust me. It was there. Yeah, well, no, when the first order was like not, coming. Was there any thought by you of like maybe this is a sign that this is not supposed to be the food? What I thought was happening was I thought we were being scammed because this happened to us last time where we ordered the Taco Bell and it never came and it never came and it never came and then eventually they were like you cancel and then it's like an Uber scam where they wait you

out and then eventually you have to cancel and then they still get paid but you you get fucked. And so I was like we're not doing that again. We're going to wait until it absolutely shows up. Turns out the Uber driver I talked to him. A young kid was very sweet. He got his car stuck in the snow. He could be lying to me, but he seemed sincere. He got his car stuck in the snow. It took him forever to get it out.

Whatever. Here's how, if I got the, it was just so fucking funny to walk outside at 1230 in the morning and see this. Such a great spot. Just sitting on top of the tire. That's perfect. That's like the thumbnail. the trip. Yeah. Incredible. So we eat, we have double the Taco Bell. We all eat our Taco Bell.

We go to bed. We get up the next day. It's Super Bowl day. We have a great time. We have the birthday party. Emily's family comes over. We have a big blowout. It's amazing. She has the time of her life, I think. Celebrate her. It's awesome. Roll around about 5.30, the Super Bowl starts. We sit down to watch it. Nobody really gives a shit about the Super Bowl. But Emily goes, I want to eat Benny Hana. And we're like, I'm like, oh, okay. So we all get in the car and we drive during the Super Bowl to Benny Hana, which I don't know when the last time you went. I'm not a fan of Benny Hana.

I like the little onion volcano thing they do. It has gone down significantly since I was last there. Almost inedible, the food. But we go to Benny Hana. We all sit down. We get this like kind of young dude. who, I don't know, he's like maybe in his early 30s, and he's,

he's doing his best, right? But it's a messy affair. None of the tricks work quite like you think they should. He does the thing where, and I'm like the person that wants to be there the least because I don't like a performance with my food, and I don't like that kind of food. And so, I'm like, okay, I order some chicken or whatever.

And I'm the guy, you know how they flip the shrimp in your mouth? I'm the guy, he's like, I have my head down. I'm like, I don't want any part of this. I have my hat on. He uses his fucking food tongs to tap me on the hat, so I have food on the top of my hat. On the general hat.

And he goes, hey, catch this. Then he chucks a fucking piece of chicken at me so hard. It just hits me square in the chest. Doesn't come anywhere near my mouth. He goes, oops, I look down. I've got a giant stain on my shirt. A giant stain. on my shirt now of grease and shit.

And I'm like, God damn it. Are you serious? And I'm like, that's probably going to stain, but we'll see. And so then we just go through dinner. Bernie and I are talking about, or some combination of us are talking about video games. And he goes, you all play games? And we're like, well, yeah, I play games. Then he starts talking about Ark Raiders.

He's a big Ark Raiders fan. And then, and he's a really cool guy, and I really liked him. But we're, like, just joking around and stuff. But he's a terrible Benny Hana chef. And the food was terrible. I ordered steak, medium rare. It was black and blue. It was like, it was still, it was mostly like a live cow still.

And I completely couldn't eat it. I had to pick off a little bit of Emily's food. Just like, everybody was like, oh, poor Jeff. And get home thinking, I know my shirt's going to be stained. It's like a new shirt that I got for Christmas that I like. And so I, I immediately wash it. This is me after I put it on the next day.

Oh, no, that's me with the mop. That's me with the mop. That was me cleaning up with the mop before. I may not have a... Yeah, that's how I was feeling. I may not have a picture, but I wash the fucking shirt and it has a giant permanent stain on it. So, Benihana cost me a fucking shirt.

And then at the end, the guy asked for our gamer tags, and now Bernie and I are our Xbox Live friends and we were going to play games with it. You're insane. Oh, that should be insane. You're crazy. Yeah.

I haven't hopped on yet, but I think Bernie's already started playing with him. Yeah, we should play. We're our graders' buddies with the Benny Hanna guy now. You should play Overcooked. Yeah, overcooked to be great. And then the rest of the trip went off of that a hitch. Oh, I don't know whether I'm just devastated to have missed that,

or I'm so thankful to have missed that. I'm sort of caught between it. Look, I'm telling you, every bit of misery that was visited upon the trip was focused at me. I stood in front of all of the bullets and I caught him in the chest

with a smile on my face because it was my baby's, yeah, that's true. It's my baby's, my sweet baby's 40th birthday and I wanted her to have the time of her life and I wanted all of our friends to love Detroit and have a great time.

So I was determined to take the brunt of all the misery. And I think I did. but holy shit do I need a vacation after that vacation I was imagining it you know that game you play where it's like a cop game and there's a train and everyone has to build the track

in front of the train yeah yeah Jeff was just doing that for the entire trip sure and everyone else is on the train well I was trying so it seems like these were day by day events yeah I was there a day where like something disastrous didn't happen after everybody left

Monday Monday and were great. Monday, Tuesday, fantastic. But even within those days, you were still stressed because of the gifts. But even during those days, I was like, I had bought her two pieces of jewelry. They're pretty small boxes. I had

been in a frenzy to clean up before I left, so I'd thrown everything in the recycling. I couldn't remember if I'd put it out in the street or not. So I was thinking I might have literally thrown away a bracelet and a necklace. And there's no way for me to know until I get home. So I was still miserable in that front the entire time. You've lost

your keys like six times by this point in the trip. Like it seems very reasonable that you've also lost this. Yeah. No, it's true. Yeah. As I get older, I get more forgettable too, and I make mistakes that I didn't used to make. So I thought that was a really good chance that I'd thrown away those gifts. And so I was... Did you start

looking for a necklace in this now? No. No, I did. But yeah, the Phantom of the Opera was great. Everything else was great. We had a wonderful time. I had a wonderful time regardless. But I was busy most of the trip, trying to deflect shit bullets so that they didn't hit anybody else. I mean, looking at some of these photos, I think you should be thankful for the order

that they occurred in. Like, at least you weren't looking for the key in the shit snow. That's true. That's true. Jesus Christ. So when's your next trip? Phenomenal. Gonna go watch the Celtics play the Oklahoma City Thunder in March when we're doing our thing. Which is why we have that issue. But yeah, I'm done with traveling for a bit.

Like the family's going to New Orleans. I backed out of the trip. I'm like, you guys go without me. I've had enough. I'm fine. I'm going to stick around home for a while. I, uh, yeah, I need a break. Absolutely incredible.

I feel like it's so important that when you're on that break when everyone else is on vacation, everything needs to go well for you at home. Yeah. Because that would be the worst. I just check to make sure we're still recording. And my wave file is uninterrupted talking for 54 minutes. I didn't realize the story was going to take that long I apologize.

No. I only gave amazing details of this. It was a wonderful, terrible trip. Riveting in a terrible way. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I feel like I've come through so many emotions. I almost threw up on like my fourth gag.

It was incredible. I came pretty close to throwing up a few times. Yeah, it was not good. How did you serve the penguins at a curiosity? Cut their heads off. Cut their heads off. Cut their heads off first. One was chocolate and one was funfetti cake.

And so... Which was better? I thought the... You know, I'm more of a funfetti guy, but I thought the chocolate was better. So did you have to like lay them down, like knock them over on their side to decapitate them? No, no, I just fucking sliced right through them here. Let me... I'll send you a photo. Hold on a second.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. Let me... So they're both equally chopped into. Yeah, there you go. They're chopped up. Eric got it. Yeah, off with their heads.

Wait, is there just a piece of piece of... TVC down the middle of the cake? Yeah, that's how it stands up. It's connected at the bottom to the thing. So Emily's family has about 200 pounds of cake to eat over the next week. Dude, Emily posted, Emily posted the pictures of the cake. Just, I'm not sure, I'm sure she probably brought it up to you. She posts the pictures on Instagram.

Pudgy Penguins replied. The actual Pudgy Penguins account replied. Hilarious. Did they mention the decapitation? They said, oh no, my head. What did you do? do. I'm imagining Gavin ordering these cakes and getting them without anybody's guidance,

cutting into them, and then being outraged that there's a PVC pipe down the middle of them. They scammed us. Well, is PVC like a food safe thing to have cake on? Absolutely. They, I'm going to use food safe grade. I don't know that anyone could have handled the situations that you were in. at all, Jeff. I just,

it's just thinking like, Andrew just said like, oh, imagine Gavin getting the cakes. And that made me imagine Gavin having to go and get the cakes. And it's like,

well, none of us would have survived any of this. Like, there's no shot. It was just, this is all meant for you, unfortunately.

It's, I mean, I'll take that as a compliment. I'll take that as you saying that I'm capable of handling extremely stressful situations and,

and compartmentalizing mentally to get through it. I appreciate that. I will say it was a taxing experience, just having to deal with what felt like an unending series of foibles and catastrophes. And all I wanted to do was make sure that everybody else had the time of their lives.

And so I think that that was accomplished. Was the cake before the plumbing issue? After. So you could have given some PVC. Oh, oh, wait. I got the cake before the poop, but we didn't cut into it until after. I see.

Oh. So maybe the part he needed was in the fridge. Got some in the fridge. Did the plumber know it was specifically your turds he was dealing with? Oh, interesting. No, I don't think so. I didn't tell him I clogged the toilet. That's great.

I wish I had, I wish I was brave enough and I had a stern enough stomach to take a picture of the man's gloves. No. I'm telling you, I've seen a lot in my life. I've seen a lot of terrible things in my life. I've found a foot in the desert in Kuwait. I've seen horrors at the tank graveyard.

I saw a lady die in a car accident and her dead eyes stared at me straight in the face. But I swear to Christ, I don't think I've ever seen anything in my life. I saw my daughter throw up a gallon of blood after her jaw surgery in the hospital. And I thought she was going to die. I thought I was going to die.

I don't think I've ever seen anything as disturbing that rocked me to my core quite like those shit-covered gloves. Oh, my God. It kind of, I don't know how to describe it. It kind of broke my brain a little bit. It was, it was so heinous. And I know it was just a pair of gloves covered in shit, but there was something about it that was like, I'll never forget the side of that. Do you think anyone has ever gone to therapy for PTSD over shit-covered gloves?

Like, do you think you'd get laughed out of there if you went to therapy for that? Or would they just treat it seriously? Like, you know, it's pretty traumatic, yeah. That's a good question, Gab. I don't know. I don't think anyone's laughing that off. Been thinking about checking back in with my therapist. So maybe I'll bring it up if I do. I have the plumber as a therapist.

I, dude, like, as bad as I had it, he had it worse. Like, he was in the muck. Like, he looked, honestly. This guy does this for a living. And he looked shaken. by the experience. Yeah. I like that on your list

of traumatic things that you've gone through, the big fridge full of rotting meat didn't even come up. Like it must have been so much worse than that,

than that. There's nothing in my life that will compare to the smell of that fridge, that freezer. But this was, that's tough because I had to clean that up myself.

And this guy did most of it. But it was, I think this was still worse. There's something worse about, There's something about the accumulation of human shit that is even grosser than spoiled rotting 580 pounds or so of rotting cow meat is pretty heinous,

but I don't know that it holds a candle to... Yeah, and that's not like a mass grave. Do you think we should put a no lunch warning on the front of this episode? I can put it in the description, but we can record something if you want to. I don't know if it's worth firing up the time machine to be. Maybe we should do a post-story trigger warning.

If this, if this story was in any way triggering to you, maybe don't, maybe don't, take that into consideration if you're going into a second listen. Don't have watched this with lunch. So what, yeah, what's everybody else up to? Well, I have a theory about Eric. Okay. Because I know sometimes, you know, a lot of your job is dealing with the calendar, sometimes struggling with the calendar.

I have a clip that I think might be the root cause. Cool. But I'd say about 30% of the time, just a, just a useless piece of shit. You give yourself a break sometimes. You're saying three days a week you don't deserve to live. Eric thinks there's 10 days in a week. That was, I was bracing myself for so much. and that was the clip you brought.

Wow. Gavin, I got to say, man, you're really like off your game. I just, I really, when I'm anticipating a clip from Gavin, I am, I'm like ready to take like a bracing shot of something to like really weather the storm. That's the level that you have to come with me. I just, you know, I appreciate it that you think of me so often. I think that's really nice. I just think that like you're better than this.

and I just to watch the to watch the mighty fall is really a bummer. It's just really a bummer. I will say, I feel like he teed you up because I got up this morning to see what we're doing today. And I thought, oh, let me look at the calendar and see what it makes sure I didn't download any games or whatever for the let's plays. And there was nothing listed. There's no games listed on the let's play channel for what we're playing today. And so I thought, well, I'm definitely going to bring that up. But then in the before the meeting, Eric said, well, we didn't bother having a Monday meeting.

because you aren't there, which is weird because four-fifths of you are available. I don't know why you, I'm required. But then I thought, I won't even bring it out, bring it up because, well, what's the point? That's Gavin's thing anyway. But you had that right there. Like, you could, there's no, I have, I still,

there's no slack or calendar that's telling me what we're about to do as soon as this podcast is over. Now, I'm on everybody's side here. Okay. I do think, I enjoyed the bad maths. I do think. the problem might have been the placement of this. I think you gotta recognize some time.

Jeff just hit a grand slam. Oh yeah, I agree. He's running all the bases. Yeah, Gavin came in with a bun. I think you're a blunt. If this is the beginning of the next episode, I think people are on Eric a little bit. Gavin, do you wanna save it?

No, are you sure? And I feel like following up with Jeff, that Jeff set the bar so high within this episode, it does feel like you follow followed up the Grand Slam with like a bun. I was like a little bit of entertainment on the walk home. Yeah, you know what? It was.

Gavin, Gavin got the bill and a cup of tea at home. That's exactly what Gavin just got for us. Thank you. Hey, Gavin, you know what? Actually, thank you. Thank you very much. It happened last episode. You know, follow up episode.

It did. The other thing that happened last episode that I still want to revisit is the Valley of Interest. I re-listened to the episode and the Valley of Interest was the most interesting thing that we didn't continue talking about that I just wish we would have that interesting of a valley I went over it's not... Did you do the drawing?

Yeah, I have a drawing of the valley of interest. Do you really? I really want to see it. I really want to see it. I've spiked the ball into the ground so it's all uphill from here. Well, the ball bounced up and now Andrew's going to volley it back into the air. Well, we got to run her on second. This is sort of the display of the valley

of interest. And I said at the time, like it's a very specific valley. Now, I believe in the context I was talking about sort of my willingness to enjoy a Twitch stream when I get a notification for it. And this is sort of a visual valley

of interest. It is a it's the interest spikes. Okay, now I will say very narrowly. Hey Gavin, Gavin, when you imagine a valley of interest literally the opposite of a valley for a start what is that said? What is that?

That's interrest. You can't read interest? Why is the R? It looks like interr, but it's interest. It's an ST connected, yeah. An ST connected, yeah. Because all the symbols are on the right side of the phone, so I don't add stuff to write on the right side. Can we make an interr shirt with the backwards are?

You'd use the corn backwards our Russia style, dude. What the fuck? I mean, I wasn't trying to do it. I just, I did the S and I was trying to get the T in and it was the whole thing. What do you think? What do you think of the valley is? What is a valley? Here's the thing.

I'm in the valley and I'm taking a, I can't show the whole valley in the drawing. I don't have enough space to display the valley. So this is me in the valley of interest and I'm showing the interest in the valley. So wait, it's P-OV of... This is the P-OV of the Valley of Interest, yes. So what's the line on the left? Brown. So you're looking at, you're looking at like a cave opening.

Okay, hang on. The line on the left is brown. Okay. But it's very tall, and that's the interest. Is it like the obelisk at the beginning of 2001? I haven't seen that, so I don't know. You know what else you haven't seen? Die hard, apparently. Yeah.

Oh, I've seen it. Oh, you want my side about that, Jeff? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I heard that too, and it was just, it was so confusing. I don't think about feet in the same way, Nicklaus. I will say, I will say, I will say, I will say, I will say I was laughing about it in bed and Emily's like, what is the deal? And I explained it to her, and she goes, I've seen that movie too, and I don't remember that.

And I'm like, how do you not remember? That's the whole beginning is making, it's the whole first half of the film, making fist, stepping on glass because they know he's barefoot. Like, it's a whole thing. I would put the feet thing in. my valley of interest. It's one of the flat parts. On the obelisk of interest. It's, uh, I saw it and I evaluated it for a moment and then I moved on. The obelisk of interest. So what sits upon the top of the obelisk of interest? That's just a very high peak. It's pointed. In regards to the

Twitch stream, like, is this a graph over time? What are you, what are you showing? What is it? Okay. So the base where it starts going up, that's the notification that somebody is live. Wait, so time isn't moving left to right. It's moving up to down to up? No. What? What? We're on the left, then. Left to right. Okay. You said the bottom. Think about it as like a heart monitor thing, right? So we flatlined. My interest is flatlined in the valley. I get the notification. That's where the spike begins. Oh my god. I open it. I see a waiting screen.

We plummet. Back to flatlining. We're gone. No time spent. That's my evaluation of, as far as my Twitch experience, my valley of interest. In the valley. If you guys want more valley, I can show you other parts of the valley, I guess. I mean, you haven't showed a valley yet.

Yeah, I mean, there's no valley. Well, when you're in the valley, it's hard to show the valley. Why are you in the valley? because I wanted to show you the interest If you turned your image upside down That's a valley That's a valley So your interest doesn't start at an all time high

And then dip and then come back up It's not a valley No, we're in the valley You could only be on the valley In your diagram No, I'm inside the valley I gotta say For me, the valley of interest

I'm deep in it right now I'm deep in my own valley of interest. I'll do some mountains and stuff next time if you want to see the... I thought we were focusing it on the interest in the valley of interest. I definitely would like to see more artist renditions of the valley. If you could take a step back and we can see a little bit more of the edges of the valley, that would be cool. I got to say that I was pretty stunned with the pictures that Jeff sent kind of threw out. It's like there's like a lot of shit.

He's holding a mop. The food on the tire. Like there's so many. Like the, don't forget about like the washer with like the big screw. The stunned noises that everyone made when Andrew put the Valley of Interest drawing in here, rewind it and listen again because it's shock. It's utter shock the picture that we saw. I'll do a selfie from the Valley of Interest next time.

You'll see a redition. Oh, stuff portrait? Yeah. I think next time you throw out something as wild as the Valley of Interest, we all have to draw it and present it in the next episode. Why don't we just do that anyway? I'll show a selfie of what it looks like, and you guys can show me what your, uh, your experience in the valley of interest is.

I think the four of us would have drawn valleys and you would have drawn this. Well, I'm in the valley. So I don't know. Like, if you wanted me to stand up above the valley and shoot down, that's not me if I misunderstood that. I thought you wanted in the valley.

So when you see a graph, like say a line graph of the economy or something, where do you think we are stood in regards to the line? Well, I mean, being in the valley isn't the same as looking at a graph. But like, are we in the economy? Like, where? What's the POV? Okay. I went into the Valley of Interest and this is what I showed you what it looks like in the Valley of Interest.

You don't go into the economy. He graphed the Valley. He grafted the Valley. So, but what you have done is like time moving left to right and interest moving up and down. So it is a graph. It's a symbolic showing of my interest in the valley of interest. I took you into my internal valley of interest and showed you the interest within the valley. I can take a step back. I can show you around the other parts of the valley. I can make it.

Would you? Yeah. I'd like to see an alternate angle next week if possible. Absolutely. Yeah. As I said, I'll do a selfie. I'll do a portrait selfie in the valley. But you're not going to see any interest

because I already showed that. So is this kind of what it's like for you? In the valley? Yeah. Like if like it's like a rolling hills kind of like highway situation where like POV you're looking at how interested you potentially could or won't be? Uh, I would say that there's a lot more moments of potential interest in that compared to my valley. Which means the roads would be going up or down in what you think the valley of interest would be. It would be one very steep road.

Okay, so could it potentially be something like this? Yeah. That's a better representation. But how is that better? Because you have to drive back down the road, so you're going to come towards this again. Well, either way, it's a pretty big spike. You got to go up elevation regardless of the way you approach it. That's the basic science.

That's basic science, Gavin. I just love these visuals. I've got some visuals that I would like to present to Andrew. Because you were trying to describe the way you sit in your chair last week. And the first question I asked was, are you sat on the front and it's tipping you forwards? And you said, yes. And then you sort of described as though you're actually sat on the back, sitting backwards. And then you made it sound like your ass was actually on the back of the chair.

So I was wondering if you could pick from some of these images, how do you sit? Oh, Gavin, thank you. Gavin, thank you so much. It sounded like you were describing number two, but then at the end, it sounded like you were maybe describing number four. And I don't understand what you're doing in the chair. Before you answer, let the audio audience know. Gavin has sent us a picture, four photos of him sitting in a chair profile.

This is a fantastic diagram. And I like that also last week when I had fallout questions, you explained it by saying I'm sitting in the seat. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I probably was. It's halfway between three and four. It's half. Okay.

Oh, that's that's, that's fucking crazy, bro. So that's how you would describe it actually, Andrew. That's how I envisioned it, what you're described. Yeah. Three and four, between three and four. I'm not up. I have the chair as low to the ground as possible. Because of my short legs.

And then I got the arch back across. So like, imagine you pull the legs down and foregavin and slightly lower your back. And that's what we're doing. I don't know what to do about this episode's thumbnail. There's too much. There's too many. It felt like it was a slam dunk for thumbnails. pretty like early.

But dude, the photos just kept coming and they are. This, it's hard to choose, dude. I, I don't understand

how between three and four is anything like a dunk tank chair. Surely number two is the closest to dunk tank. Well, the dunk tank chair is when it's broken.

So wait, so like between three and four is turning into a two? Or it's tipping you back? Let me look. So, when the chair breaks from the sitting in three and four, it then turns into a two, essentially, but with a more steep chair climb. So, imagine the seat in two is downward like a dunk tank, dunk tank chair. That's the seating position.

That's why I needed to get a new chair. because it's not sustainable. Because if you sat on the chair portion, you just slide right down the front. You slide, it's like you're in a squat, you're an assisted squat, and you can only do that so long.

It's not comfy. Huh. So if you fixed it? Yeah, have a new chair. It's a brand new chair. Okay. Brand new chair.

How would you say you're sitting on that chair? You know what? I'm sitting, I'm sitting like photo one in this chair so far. Like normal style? Okay. Normal style sit. Way to go.

Looks comfortable. And what number chair is this since the beginning of face? I have to genuinely think about that. That's such a great question. Could, I wish we'd like broken off a bit of each chair and we could frame each one in our office. Maybe the, maybe the fifth one we've heard about? I think so. Yeah.

I mean, some of them are, the Herman Miller was broken upon arrival. But surely, you just didn't read it. You just didn't do it right. No, no, the bolt shot out of the Herman Miller. Well, it's under warranty when you broke it, surely. Well, it's a weird thing where, like, it was sent to me by someone, and it was a whole, and I could fix it. Like, it was clear how to fix it, and then the fix stopped working. Like, if I would have taken it to a repair guy, he would have done what I did.

I don't know if you would have done what you did, but I mean, I get the idea. It's a bolt. It was a bolt that shot out, so I just reconnected the bolt. Was there a knot on the end? Or was that like a, were you screwing it in? Yeah, it was screwing it. It was, oh boy, how do I describe it? When it popped out, it didn't fly all the way to Detroit by any chance did it.

Yeah, it was the washer still off. You know what? Honestly, it could have been. It could have been. The Herman Miller chair took you down. like it took me what what uh what is this current chair is it a chair you've had before

is it a go to or is it something someone new you're trying oh it's a different one I swapped it up has it been a new chair every time or have you ever repurchase the same chair I only I only had oh hmm no it's the same I bought the same one for like three times in a wrap

Gotcha I think you should potentially just do VO over pictures of each chair and just do like a review video for the channel Like say how each one felt The comfortability How each one failed Sort of how long it lasted I think people would be interested

My value of interest would be Hit in the ceiling Yeah I was gonna say Mine isn't that high But you know I'm willing to do that for you What episode I think we should wrap up Before the audience's value of interest

Of this episode is the same as mine I assume like mine But my interest in lunch has gone down Since starting this podcast Yeah Yeah. I'm not so hungry anymore. Well, I guess we should do it then.

We should end this one. Thanks for listening to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. A lot of people around are telling you, my name is Trigger Man, but it's not. It's Candy Man. Please don't call me the other one.

Thanks for listening. And tune in next week for episode 94 of the Regulation Podcast. You are going to love it. Goodbye. Bye now.