Regulation Podcast - Back on the Pap // Low Stakes Blame [57]

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Gavin's mucus mistake, weak tissue, stomach pump, toad in a hole, invention of the stomach pump, The Pit, autopsy simulator, Gumpler, Andrew's dentist, good kip, Gavin took Nick's mouse, mouse limits, strikes, deconstructing the track, regulation foley work, cheek theft, fart bass, human mr potatohead, bacon bits, bacon bits blaster, revolving condiments, inside out spaghetti, a guess, catching a traitor, and a group text. Sponsored by Shopify. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/faceAlso sponsored by Factor. Thanks Factor! Go to FACTORMEALS.com/REGULATION50OFF and use code REGULATION50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping on your first box. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is number 57 and going by our 2025 nicknames, I am Baby Pepsi with me as always. Gassy Goo, Gizmo, The Mechanic and Lil Ricky B. Hello, everybody. How are we doing? I made a mistake. I'm great. I messed up. What was your mistake? What did she do? Well, I've been having a bit of a cold, right?

And then, yeah, um, I haven't been able to use the old pap because my nose has been running. But then I thought the sleep I'm getting is just dog shit. Like the other day I fell asleep at like six a.m. because I couldn't sleep all night. So I thought last night, get back on the path and those, I guess, started running in the night with the path pushing all the mucus back into my face, down my throat. And I woke up today with a mouthful of, it kind of looked like the gunpla. It was, it was a melted gunpla throat.

You leaf blower yourself with mucus, essentially. Yeah, I done the old mucus backwash back pipe. Horrendous. That's so that's right. Yeah, you don't sound good. It sounds like you struggle to me that the C PAP is at best a dangerous machine to use. You got to you got to pick your pick your battles with it Uh, I would say that Gavin's experience is not The average I would say I feel like you have had a lot of problems

That at least half of I have not encountered. It's my first cold with it It is a bad combo the cold and the CPAP for sure. Yeah, I'm surprised that you how long have you been up for? Today? Yeah, today. 20 minutes. OK, never mind that checks that reads. Wait, you're are I thought you're like an early morning guy, but then you're just all fucked up from this thing. Yeah, usually I'm up at seven or eight.

Those end of the sentence. I thought there was the tone in which you delivered that really felt like you're going to expand. You really ended it up as if there was something to follow. I'm going to need you to be up at least 30 minutes before any recording going forward. You want to take 10 minutes to gather yourself and we'll just move on. No, I'm all right. I mean, I've experienced what Gavin's gone through, but it's typically if I use the machine without putting water in it.

And then there's probably a rough like 30 minutes start of the day. So you should be almost done. Maybe I'll maybe I'll settle in the next 10 minutes. That'd be nice. Can I ask what you did with the gumbler that was in your mouth when you woke up? Oh, God.

Okay. I was just checking, man. I just kind of want to see what kind of guy you were. I went for tissue immediately and I thought this tissue is not built for this. It's not. It's always a risky gamble. Yeah. Oh man. Have you, have you done like a full full nose blow yeah yeah okay find some down the sink percentage would you say you're at right now oh 70 well what were you at yesterday when we were in the office? 85. Yeah, you sounded great from what I could tell at least comparatively to this.

I felt so much better yesterday because I got good sleep the night before and then I thought, you know, now's the time to go back on the pap. Yeah. Big mistake. Yeah, so you repapped a little early you think maybe. Yeah, I repapped too early. I'm gonna wait probably an extra day next time. There should be a way to do a reverse pap where everything blows out. He somehow have a way to grow up like a stomach pump.

I guess. Yeah, I don't know where the point of entrance would be. I always heard about my friends when I was at school getting a stomach pump because they drank too much. But it always seemed like it was quite traumatic and I never asked how they actually do it. Did you say always? Was this a common thing?

Kids getting their stomach pumped where you grew up? Yeah, I grew up in England. Yeah, I had one friend who had like four stomach pumps. I think. What? You would just get too bevved up. You'd have like a nice pint and he'd be like, oh, that was too many.

More than what? And just walk himself to the emergency room to get pumped. Yeah, but I just don't know. Is it just a hose down the throat? I guess if you've done it like once and you're okay with it, there's no barrier at that point. Has anyone here gotten their stomach pumped never ever never ever and I grew up in Alabama where people did dumb shit to themselves and each other all fucking day right and I knew one girl in high school who got her stomach pumped for taking too many

Aspirin I think but like that was it. Yeah, like I can't I can't think of anyone that I know that got their stomach pumped other than like Rod Stewart Yes, that's it I not only have never had my stomach pump It has never crossed my mind that that would be a solution to whatever ails me at any point in my life It has never been a consideration for stomach pumps my life. It has never been a consideration for stomach pumps. Is there like a stomach pump specialist over there for you?

Is there like a pumper? I think it's just like one of the machines they have behind the reception desk. It's like, oh, come on, come on. It's like how you go into the store and get the like the liquid IV hydration or whatever. You just say you go the other stall is stomach. Yeah. Oh, God. That's crazy. It was really funny. V hydration or whatever you just say you go the other stall is stomach. Yeah God that's that was really funny. Thank you. Thanks, man. I felt really good about the run You had it out you had it out so much faster than I was just forming the idea and it was I was Started to laugh. That's not your first thought. What do you hear? Stomach pump.

It just wasn't that fast on the update. He said stomach pump minutes ago and I'm like, all right, we got it. We got to walk this road for a little while before I get this one out. Jesus Christ. Apparently just really common in England, you know, for you drinking too much of anything. Yeah, my friends, my friend, Steph, she had a few. Yeah. Well, the pint of what? Yeah. Nine pints, a. Just booze. Well, pints are bigger than I would.

I would like to hear this would be a perfect toad in the whole situation, because I want somebody from where Gavin's from to just say, no, what are you talking? And it's this is something very specific than Gavin's friend group and is not nearly as wide as he's acting like it is. Well, can I invite the friends I've not spoken to at 25 years to tell you the whole thing? They just validate your point. I mean, you can do whatever you want, but like as far as somehow changing that narrative, I think like I believe it. It's not that I disagree with what you're saying. It's that I would just love to hear somebody else's perspective, not in your circle,

and just be like, no, this is that's horrifying. Yeah, they all said it so casually. I'd love to hear from the kid who got his stomach pumped four times, because in the last 20 years, you figure he's good for another five or six, right? He was an absolute machine. He could easily put away eight pints. It sounds like he couldn't keep them away, though. Yeah, I think it was the ninth and tenth that usually did him in. But he would easily be stood there at Waitrose on, you know, 7am,

stacking the salad, just kind of swaying on eight pints. And he somehow managed to be there on time every week. He had a punch card for fucking stomach pumping I've never really thought about I don't know how any of this works Like when I imagine someone getting stomach pumped I imagine that minigame and Mario Party where you got to inflate the giant Bowser balloon Like that is sort of the visual I Don't know how to doctors something a burn Yeah, it's a definite thump situation in my head.

There's like maybe one of those, you know, like foot pumps is mashing their foot over and over again, getting the pump going. I'd love to know who is the first person that required the stomach pump. Probably someone who got poisoned. You think so? I guess that would make sense. I can see that out of it. First person to get just the idea of being like, oh, you

know what? We need stomach pump for this. Fuck. That's not invented yet. Well, yeah, but like, it's not even it's not even crazy because when you think about like like where surgeries came from and like all this stuff or whatever, sometimes it's like, wow, how

did they even get started with this? This is just something is in there. We have to get it out. Shove a tube down to get it. It was probably like turn them upside down at first. And then they figured out suction. But like that's not probably too far off from like how it started to where it is now. Just technology is doing the pumping instead of a guy on one end, siphoning it out

like a gas tank. Oh my God. Would you guys like to guess what year the, if anybody can guess the year, and you're not cheating, I'll give you a vinyl. For the year the stomach pump was invented. Damn, I was gonna say 1810, goddamn. God damn it.

I got an 1850 from Gavin, 1810 from Eric. No mine was 15 1815. I'll change. I'm gonna change mine to 1799 Okay. All right interesting Nick and Andrew big party. Yeah I'm gonna say 1905 Gavin was the closest Alexander Monroe a Scottish physician, invented the stomach pump in 1767. Wow. Okay, so,

So Eric was the closest. Evan wasn't the closest. Oh, sorry, Eric was the closest. Whoever said, you guys are right neck and neck. You know what? You know what? Closest doesn't get you a vinyl, only Zach. Jesus Christ.

Oh man. Nick, Did you say 1910? Well, there's a thumbnail for this week Visual of a stomach pump horrifying you think this you think the stomach pump didn't exist during Red Dead Redemption 2 What didn't exist during Red Dead Redemption 2? No! What? Seems recent. You think the stomach pump didn't exist during Expedition 33? I hope they didn't keep that thing in the same drawer as the horse inseminator. Oh no! They were pretty damn close.

And you know they didn't know about washing shit back then either. I speaking of old surgery stuff, there is no thing less created for me than the show, The Nick, is somebody who struggles with surgery stuff like that is I hear it's fantastic. I can never watch it. Impossible. I got a worse one for you. My wife watches this show, The Pit. Fuck me.

That is the grossest, most gore filled show I've ever seen in my entire life. It's like Eli Roth directs every episode. She's. I don't like that. I don't like I enjoy, you know, but that's good. Tick't like that. I don't like, I enjoy, you know what? But that's good TikTok content. I wanna see the TikTok of the guy stuck in cement that they can't fix for exactly 45 seconds.

And then I'm good. That's all I need. I've only seen the pit on TikTok. So it is great TikTok content. That's fake ER, right? The pit? Yes, it is. Yeah, it's like the spiritual successor to ER.

Michael Crichton's estate is furious, but it's so upset. Not happy. Yeah, HBO's doing well. Were you bummed, Andrew, that you didn't come close to passing out in the autopsy simulator video? I was pretty tingly. Like, it wasn't, I didn't have symptoms, but I had, I got enough out of it to not be disappointed. It'd be funnier if it was worse, but like I was happy.

Well, happy maybe isn't the right word, but I was glad that how much further would you take it or is that it? Oh, no, I'd love to do it again. We just haven't had time on the schedule. I'd love to do another part. I want to see what's going on there. Ghosts or something. I don't know. You guys couldn't hear the audio when we did it.

Got demonetized. I don't care. Whatever. Got to get those bodies. We've got to open them up. Yeah. See what's inside. There's a spear, Jeff. We played a surgery game and we think there's a ghost. It's tough to read.

I watched probably like seven or eight minutes of it, and I was confused because I was bouncing around and you'd just be like doing a normal autopsy and then there'd be a cut scene of skulls or something and then. Yeah, it's a game I'm excited to play more of but surgery stuff. No thing. Hey, speaking of games, should we mention that we had a bit of a milestone yesterday? We went into the office and I know it's so weird, right?

Because we record a little bit ahead. So it's been weeks since we have had an office at this point. But in the real, in our recording time, it's only been about a week since we did the stream. And so we went in yesterday and we recorded our first gameplay from the computers in the office and fucked it up. But it was fun. It looked fun. Yeah, it just didn't sound fun.

Yeah, we learned some stuff. Got some got some audio channels to fix and reroute. But other than that, I think I think we're in business. Also, we finished filming or we filmed the next part of the Gumbler saga, which I'm really excited about the audience getting to see. That's one thing I'm enjoying about the new office is that we're already into sagas where it's like, oh, this didn't work. But, you know, we're not done yet.

Let's not spoil too much of the videos here. But yeah, it's we've decided there'll be there'll be more Gumbler videos for sure. I Was sad to have missed everything but I was in the dentist and it brought me joy While laying in the chair and pain knowing that you guys were in an office in Austin Figuring out how the Gumbler works. I was very happy. That was the one thing I had gone for me. Oh very happy. That was the one thing I had going for me. Oh, man. It was sad looking over to the the dead eyes of the little robot. Yeah. He was a saint.

How are you? How are you doing, Andrew? You were just so pretty rough yesterday when we were talking. What would you say you're like? No pain today. You're totally fine. No pain. Totally good. It's funny, because I came when I got home, I came back home. I realized just leaving. I came by itself. Terrible idea. When I came home, I opened the thing to be like, I wonder if they're still there. What's going on?

And you guys were just starting your test. And I really wanted to roll in and just be like, ah, but I was I was too. I was out. I was done. That just took a lot out of me. Did not have the energy for it, but I popped out later. Like emotionally or physically? Did he take a lot of teeth out of you? Emotionally and also just like, half my face was numb,

so just like rolling up and going, ah, really wasn't. Just didn't have it in me in that moment. And plus you guys all had headphones on and there is nothing I thought would be more disappointing than to go through it. And you guys not noticed at all. So I was like, it's just not it's not worth it. I'll come back later. I'll recover a little bit.

When you texted that you were at the dentist and in pain, I almost cried. I have such dental anxiety. I'm transferring it to other people now. And I felt so all I could think about last night was you and the dentist. I'm so glad you're feeling better today. I learned that apparently if you have like a tooth crack, they can't easily detect that via their x-rays. So you got to vocalize it.

I'm glad I did. Really? I guess like the perspective in which cracks usually occur and the like angle that they get like it lines up. So it's hard to tell if there's a crack in it. The tooth will visually look fine, but obviously upon inspection. So you knew it was cracked though? Yeah, I had a feeling,

because I had cracked it two days before I had an appointment for something else. And I thought, oh, maybe I just ate something the wrong way, like I jammed in my gum or something and then I could feel my tongue. And I was like, I think that's I think I split. That's not great. Yeah. So then, yeah, I had to go in and they're like, OK, so we're going to do this. And I had to go, no, no, no, no, no, no.

One second. I have a I think I have a crack. And they're like, oh, this tooth. And I said, no, that that one, that's what I was supposed to come here to work on. And I said the one next to it. And they went, oh, this one. And it hurts so much. They like put their fingers out. They're like, OK, yeah, it's that one.

Let's figure this out. How long were you there for? Uh, a little over two hours. Yeah, yeah, that felt like about a two hour one, as you were describing it. That sucks. Yeah. Oh, the only positive what's nice about those experiences is I've never had a tooth crack, but not like fully detached from the rest of the tooth. So when they said like, OK, we got to extract this cracked part, I was like, oh, boy, that sounds

like a bad. And they pulled it without me even realizing the process had begun You like did the numbing stuff and then they went in and I was like, okay I guess you're like kind of gonna size this up and then they said okay, so we've extracted the crack part I was like, oh, that's great. Fantastic. I was kind of worried about that. No love resistance that yeah, this instantly Instantly gone. It's overall good. Feel a lot better today. Excited to be doing stuff.

I was glad to hear that. I missed it. You sound great today. I was also happy that Gavin got good Kip, which is a word he used. I think it's the first time Gavin's ever said anything to me that I then had to Google to try to figure out what it Sorry tip is nap right? Yeah, it's like sleep. Yeah, it's like good quality sleep sleep. I appreciate it

It's a good word. That's a good Kip. I like Kip. Are you gonna start using it? I think I will for some reason my head it Resonates is like dog food is the imagery I imagine when I hear Kip. Like like kibble. Yeah, like kibble, like some dry ass dog food. But I like the term. Well, that's what my throat feels like. Dog food. Dry ass dog food. Try and get some kibble. Oh, Christ.

Kip it out. I looked at my file from the test yesterday and I noticed that my audio was there and everyone's audio was in it and I thought, oh well, you know, Nick was in a rush when he, when he set up my routing through the go XLR stuff and then I listened to someone else's audio and everything was there and I listened to everyone's audio and everyone's audio was on everyone's file. I appreciate that though. We're not losing any audio at that point.

We got so much coverage. Everyone has everyone's backups. We established that it was a test, so it's very low stakes blame. But I feel like Nick really messed it all up. It sounds like you really want to sign blame. Ooh, Nick defend yourself. Gavin kept taking my mouse. I did keep taking his mouse, which I will say has nothing to do

with how we ended up with all the audio on all the tracks. But that is something that did happen. But I couldn't monitor my audio as a result. Well, there we go. Suck on that, Eric. That's a great defense there. I thought, Nick, you were just doing the classic routine of you're going to say something I did wrong. I'm going to say something you did wrong.

Now we're both equally wrong. But there's a whole logic behind what you just did. He can monitor his audio. Eric ordered three mice. You can only order three mice at a time on Amazon and it goes, hey, you want to order more mice? You actually can't do that. And I think Jeff had the same problem with Xboxes. And Xboxes and mice are not the same because one is $30.

Give me 10 mice. Who cares? Oddly, it let me buy five capture cards all at once the other day. No problem at all. How are you going to use those without your mice and your Xboxes? Could be like a three blind mice rule. There's no four blind mice Well, they don't got eyes The three blind mice rule.

Well, they don't got eyes. Amazon, if they can't see, if they don't have eyes on what you're using the mice for, they're going to limit you to three. When you're starting a business, it's insanely stressful. Feels like you're spinning 16 plates at once. And as you proceed, they only multiply. It's why I'm so thankful for an incredible service like Shopify. Shopify, in my opinion, is the best of what it does. And knowing that we will have all of the support and tools it provides is the best feeling. Shopify is the commerce platform behind

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The cool thing about the office, if we're still talking about it a little bit is Gavin has done some technical wizardry where our download speed and upload speed is out of control. It's so... we downloaded Grand Theft Auto in like four minutes. It took so long to install, but the download was so fast. It was like, it made my head spin. It was maxed, like 980 down, 980 megs down or so.

It's less to do with anything I did, it was just more about the internet that you ordered. Well, when I ordered the internet, the guy was like, why do you need this much speed? And I went, Oh, we're going to be like doing business out of here or whatever. And he's like, okay. I mean, usually I just tell my customers you probably don't need this much. And I went, I, I appreciate it, but we do. So we'll take it. This guy's never had four people downloading GTA, pull a gigabit at the same time. Right.

And then he's also he's also never had them all record their audio on one track in one place for a test. But that's here. Neither here nor there. We were pulling like four gigabits just on GTA yesterday. Gavin says it has nothing to do with him. But the second the internet got installed, he went in uninstalled the modem and the router that they gave us, put his own in, brought in some sort of a rack system with green and blue lights going that indicate things that I don't understand that's way more complicated than anything I've ever seen. He's got ethernet cables running to the system where these cables, the smallest cable I've ever seen in my entire life.

It's thinner than like an iPhone head headphone cable. And I don't recognize any of the technology that Gavin used. And it's there's no way it's not all on Google. Gavin, you did some work there. Yeah, there's some research. It's actually the same the same sort of stuff that we had a recently. But it just means that we can remotely fix problems without having to go there. Also, our Internet was never that good at Rooster Teeth. So once again. Oh no, it was all like limited in. We're unlimited here at our office.

And now, and now we have a place to put all of our files. So like it doesn't even, it makes even less sense for you to have strikes now, right? Well, I was going to say, I, uh, I, that was maybe the best laugh I had yesterday. Unexpected laugh was Gavin in the slack posted a giant thing about how he optimized uploading and of all the people to optimize uploading. That was hilarious. And that made me really happy. I read this very technical long thing of like, yeah, now we can upload from home

and it's great. And it's like, okay, we upload it all. But first let's just get in a basic upload gun. The next phase of it is I'm going to set everyone's capture folder to be like watch folders for the raid. So it just sucks everything onto it without you having to press anything. I, uh, I'm imagining with everybody's track, everyone having everything in every track.

I think it's always so cool when somebody deconstructs a song like a music producer, like only plays the drums. That would not translate to what you guys just did. Just listening to like Gavin's track and be like, OK, now let's just let's just zone in on this. Let's see what's going on. Isolate, isolate, isolate this. I really doesn't add anything to that setup. The same way with music.

I think that's so cool. Anytime there is isolation of a song, especially with like hip hop of like learning what the the tracks are being pulled from. It's awesome. Doesn't apply to less place. There was that documentary series that Rick Rubin did with McCartney where he isolated tracks and instruments and stuff on Beatles songs. And it was it was the wildest thing I've ever heard. It was really fascinating.

Definitely wouldn't get that from anything we do. I wonder if you could tell what video game was being played. How long that would maybe that's like a competition we could do at some point where it's games that we've all played and then how long it takes each of us to register what that means. And if it's accurate. Or maybe we do like a blind let's play someday where the just audio don't say what the game is and the audience has to figure it out.

And if they get it right, we'll give them some. Let the audience do the work. Yeah but given I were talking about this recently of that humans are Terrible at recognizing what things sound like Based on movies and TV like I feel like I'll see like a horse Walking in a show and then you'll see what they used and it's like cabbage pushed against the garbage can lid. Like nothing sounds like it should. Like the, the ability to recognize what these things actually are. It'd be fun for us maybe to do that. Maybe do our own sound effect type work.

Our own fully work. Our own fully work. Yeah. Like we each, I don't know. I want to see a show where a guy walks out of a saloon and hops onto some cabbage and back to the bed. Well the sand they use for him hopping on cabbage, actually cactus getting hit by baseball bats.

Completely different. I had a weird thought the other night. In bed? Yeah, in bed. It was specifically in bed. It was a weird thought the other night. But do you think that? Yeah, in bed. It was specifically in bed. It was a bed thought. I was thinking if somebody stole your cheeks while you're sleeping about cheeks, how long do you think would take for you to not instantly? Really? Instantly.

You'd roll over onto your butt and it'd be gone. No, no, no, no. No. The Indiana Jones steal your cheeks put other cheeks in I don't think I would notice You talk about your face. No butt cheeks face cheeks I would notice because I see my face regularly I was thinking about how rarely I look at my butt And I don't think I notice a feel difference If somebody like kind of tried to Indiana Jones it, like obviously if it was completely different, then I think I would notice. But if it was relatively the same.

I noticed my butt way before my face. You shitting me? Really? Yeah, I sit down more than I look in the mirror. Yeah, but you've got new butt cheeks. They're just different butt cheeks. I don't think like the butt cheek experience changes all that much. I think the second I touch my butt, I would know. I would know that that wasn't my butt because everyone has different firmness of butt.

How often are you touching your butt? I mean, I don't know, at least once a day. I guess. Yeah, I guess. But I feel like there's so much other stuff going on with like a wiping situation. Like I'm just sitting on my butt right now and I'm aware of my butt and all kinds of stuff about my butt. But I just don't think it would be that different if I sat anywhere too long and thought about it. I'd be like, well, the seat's uncomfortable. Why does a seat feel weird?

It feels different than it did yesterday. And I let everything's a little different. And then you start touching and you're like, holy shit, this is somebody else's ass I I know my butt in so many different ways like I know it's level of cushioning I know how it clenches I feel like if I was to like swap butts with Nick I would be able to know immediately is because Nick's someone who does What way more exercise? Interesting yeah plus like the second I took a dump I'd know I Yeah, if you poop through a different butt, you're going to know.

And I spend a lot of time on the toilet doing that, you know. But the anus would be the same. Yeah, I would. I don't think it would be as different as you feel. Yeah, but the vessel's different, man. The thing you're sitting on, it's going to there's going to be subtle differences. And the toilet is an exacting and harsh thing to sit on. You're going to feel the difference immediately.

It would have like a different different sleep number. Yeah, exactly. You think so? Your butt would have a different sleep number. That's the problem. I've never I've never sat with another man's cheeks, but I feel like the experience is probably pretty similar. I don't think there's a wide range of feeling. I think maybe size and shape, there could be a difference. But as far as like sitting, I imagine sitting is kind of a universal feeling.

I could be wrong. But if you if you swap with someone who had a different sized but it would feel different, I guess. I also just think that like even the angle of your sit would be different because the butt would be subtly different. There'd be you'd be you'd feel like you're on the piss all the time. Like everything would just be a little skew, you know, like it wouldn't it wouldn't quite fit in the same way. Maybe this is specific to me issue because I think I would just realize like things might

be slightly off and then I just I wouldn't really flag it, but I would start adjusting and then I just have a new way to sit and I would have gone unnoticed. So you would just sit differently before you investigated your butt any further and think maybe I've got a different butt. Yes. I, my initial response to a problem typically is let's solve this problem and not necessarily what's the cause of it. I think I'd solve it. Then I would move on and then maybe like a calendar year later somehow go,

oh, what happened? What did this happen? Yeah, you're like a patch the holes kind of guy as opposed to a total. Well, let's figure the source of the problem. I get. Yeah. I like as long as I don't. As long as this is a scenario in which the problem isn't going to get worse by whatever I'm patching, if it's a, this doesn't actually solve it, then that'll

change my approach to it. But if it's like a thing of discomfort, then yeah, I just adjust. I wouldn't think about it. If you and I swapped butts, I would be texting you within 20 seconds being like, Hey, do you have my butt? And it sounds like you would wait at least a year before saying anything. I think I'd be like, I don't know, do I? I guess I do.

I don't notice. Oh, I'm shitting totally differently. This is crazy. I definitely do. Farts would probably sound different. That would probably be the weirdest thing. Oh my god. Definitely Definitely, I guess that would maybe be the giveaway. I think the reason my thoughts are so shit is that All of my fart takes place at the anus and none of it takes place in the cheeks Hmm, I feel like if you've got like if you got more fleshy ass. It's also working through the

Through the cheeks to give some reverb and some maybe some bass on each fart. I feel like the sound is diffused through multiple layers of hair with you as well. Yeah. Oh, there's definitely a muffled effect. Yeah. Jeff, imagine how happy you'd be if we had like Mr. Potato Head bodies where you just pop things in and out that you could go out and get an ass just for farting. The optimal fart ass. I would like an ass for long bicycle rides.

That's the ass I want. Like what you just propositioned, Andrew, sounds like to me more than anyone else, that would be like Jeff's dream is just like, let me pop these ears off eyes go in Like I'm doing like crazy mouth today. Like I think Jeff I think Jeff will be loving it Oh, yeah, are you kidding? I can imagine pick it up all Jeff shit off the floor and putting it on my body They're just being in pain

What's this spied about What's this spied about? Oh, it hurts. Oh yeah, it's not good. There's a lot of pain wrapped around this 49 year old body. Oh God. Hey, speaking of pain, can I tell you guys a dumb thing I did? Please. Yeah. You guys remember a couple years ago when I was in my smoothie era, I unintentionally created something called the Purple Nightmare.

It actually made it into our face cookbook, which is still available to this day digitally on our Patreon or for free if you sign up. Right. Like it's a I think it's a it's a gimme. That's right. If you're a paid member. Was the Purple Nightmare the one that you spilled everywhere? Was that the initial one or was that a different smoothie? No, that's the one. It was the smoothie that I was making for Millie that just fell out of my hands.

And when it hit the ground, it exploded. And it was on the ceiling and the walls and behind the curtains and on the other side of the like it went outside like a like a fucking James McAvoy bullet. And it went outside and took a turn and came back and got splattered on the other side of the window somehow, referencing that movie wanted, obviously. And anyway, I unintentionally for twenty twenty five updated the recipe and I was and I'm a little bummed about it because it is fucking annoying.

The other night I opened my fridge just to get a verner's a diet verner's soda. And when I shut the fridge, it like pushed back on me for a second and I heard a crack and a little, and I thought, that's weird. And I opened it back up and I guess what had happened, see what had happened was somehow a big canister of bacon bits got dislodged from the door and it fell, you know, like the bacon bits that are hard and crunchy and that are like kind of like an impossible color of red to be real food?

Yes. Kind of a purple- yeah. Yeah, bacon bits, right? Thank you, Nick. And, uh, it was about three quarters full, and so it got- when I shut the door, it fell, and it landed just as such that the door cracked it. And it exploded just as such that the door cracked it and it exploded.

Bacon bits. And it was a nightmare. My entire fridge was instantly covered in bacon bit glitter. It was. Unbelievably, unbelievably destructive, right? So I open it up and I'm just kind of looking at it and there's bacon bits all over the ground and I'm just like, oh, I can't fucking believe this. And Millie and her boyfriend and Emily are in the kitchen

laughing at me going like, what happened? And I'm like, I don't know, it was a bacon bit explosion. And so I grab a broom and I start just trying to sweep up the bacon bits off the ground and I put them into a pile. And then I look and I realize they're on every shelf, right? So I just start taking stuff out and putting it on the kitchen counter and cleaning out the shelves and the worst concentration of bacon bits is obviously at the bottom right because of gravity so I Go to take the bottom like the veggie crisper out and in this fucking fridge that I don't own because I rent it

It does not come out. It's the only one that doesn't fucking fridge that I don't own because I rent it does not come out. It's the only one that doesn't come out. But it's also it's a veggie crisper, right? So it's clear plastic. So you can see right through it to the bottom and back of the fridge where all there are is like 1000 bacon bits. It is hideous and it's disgusting. And I'm like fighting with it and wrestling.

And I think like I'm just I'll just break it and put a new one in. And like that's I'm not going to do that. And then Emily or Millie or somebody said, it's too bad you don't have a way to blow it out. And I thought, oh, I do have a way to blow it out. And this is where I made a tactical error. I went into the backyard and I grabbed my leaf blower. It's the first thing I thought of.

So I stuck the leaf blower in the bottom of the, in the corner of the fridge and I ram jammed it right. There's nothing tactical. There's nothing tactical about this. And it works. It works too well because I got hit with stinging bacon bits in the face. And I hear Millie coughing in the back. I'm going, oh, and I turn around and Millie and her boyfriend

and Emily and the kitchen counter and the rest of the house are now covered in bacon bits. I tattooed the house with bacon bits just from that quick little two second pump from the leaf blower. And it didn't entirely get all the bacon bits out of the fridge. I still had about 20 minutes of work there

getting the rest of the bacon bits out of the fridge. But now, now there are just bacon bits all over my house. Like all day long, I step on a bacon bit or I move a pot and there's bacon bits behind it or there's a bacon bit on the Xbox controller in the other room. Like how did that happen? I somehow put, I put, I don't know, a hundred thousand bacon bits into play in my house, the first floor of my house, and realized that may be one of the dumber things I've done in the last decade or so. I bet taking the bottle and just drop kicking it in the kitchen would have made less mess. Yeah.

I mean, it was a mess that was at least contained to the floor and the fridge until I brought the the Leaf blower in to the mix. Why did they suggest a blow instead of a suck? They did suggest a suck maybe a blow. I don't know they were just like it's a way to get maybe I don't remember they might have said like a but we don't have like a Like a shop vac or anything and I thought I just blow it out the end So you know like and it was was just the heat of the big Gavin. B day was occurring and he just had to respond.

This to me sounds like the greatest thing that's ever happened. Albert Albert is going to be walking around that house, getting free bacon all day. It's getting his little bit. Yeah, I I assume that anything from like Bulldog neck down in the house is clean But I'm fine. I'm fine and bacon bits everywhere, dude. They're like in the cracks of the sofa. It's like it They went airborne and just covered the house I think of all the bits of all the meat bits. I think bacon is the best one could have occurred with So you have that going for you?

So overrated they sound so much better than they are. Oh, I disagree. Yeah, I disagree as well. I love bacon I just don't I don't appreciate the the bits format for bacon Big potato, they do team them go everywhere everywhere If you sprinkle a hundred bits in a sandwich you're getting like 80 bits in Sam Why are you putting bits in a sandwich bacon bits on a sandwich you lunatic there for salad and baked potatoes? I was think of where I've had bacon bits before I was coming in to agree with Gavin then he said that and now I don't Really feel like agreeing with Gavin. So wait, they're never used in sandwiches No, what no bacon is used in sandwiches? No. No. What?

No, bacon is used in sandwiches. I swear that's where I've seen them. What? How would you eat? That's bacon. Maybe like a salad or like on mashed potatoes or something like you'd throw them on stuff where they would like hang out. I'm just imagining somebody pouring bacon bits onto a sit, like into a sandwich that they're making.

And there's nothing I think more psychotic you could do in the sandwich making realm. Just covering it in bits. I swear I've had that at a restaurant. I much prefer a full slice of bacon. I'm a, you know, bacon, big bacon, but you got. Yeah, I think that was just a shit restaurant. I don't think you could blame the bits on that. I think that's user error.

Yeah. Yeah. That's on you. Maybe we should all make salads around Jeff's fridge and then he should blast the bits out into the room and see who gets the most bits. Okay. Well, we have an office. Yeah, I was about to say I don't want to do this because it's not a Jeff's house anymore.

It's at our office. I don't know. I feel like maybe we need Jeff's crisper specifically for the Gavin again, I do like the idea of inventing a tool to and to I don't know improve bacon bit Distribution like a bacon blaster. Oh bacon bit blaster bacon bit blaster that we could blast on to our salads and our baked potatoes and stuff Like maybe we could get into the lab and invent whatever that is, you know those Salt guns that like yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, I wonder if we made bacon bits small enough we could do that And then put bacon bits inside of the bug assault gun

Like and then things gonna get real gummed up. We should definitely do this. Jeff, do you want me to put it on the idea thing or do you want to? No, if you wouldn't mind. I'm just gonna bake bits, bug assault, and yeah, we got it. Can I also try and make my own bacon blaster?

Absolutely. Gammett, I would be offended if you didn't. I think mine's gonna be, mine's going to involve a paintball gun and a very sharp. I can't wait. Grid of wire at the end. You need a sharp grid away. In the Resident Evil movie. Yeah, yeah. It's going to like Colin Salmon, the bacon.

Oh, I was thinking like bacon retriever like blast the bacon out and then you can pull it back in somehow and then fire again. You know, we can make that grid pretty easily. Pull the bacon back in. I thought it was like the wire was connected to the bit and so you shoot the bit and then you retract the wire back to the gun. So you have an infinite. Just like's just for like luring people? Like a tape? To chase a piece of bacon.

Tricking men and dogs. The women are fine though. They'll ignore the bacon. Yeah, well they know it's a trick. They know it's a trick. They're smarter than that. Women don't fall for bacon. Oh man, it's too bad that Doom just came out because this is you send them an idea

They have the BFG now. They got the BBB Yeah, this will get a mod going for the new doom to put bake the bacon bit blaster in it But then also we need someone to mod all the milfs into last of us to we already have two months who knew that in 2025 regulation was gonna need a professional modder on staff that in 2025 regulation was going to need a professional modder on staff. Can you imagine you're sitting at like a fancy ish kind of restaurant? You order a dish. It has a baked potato. And then they say, would you like bacon bits on it?

You say yes. And they pull out a gun and just start blasting your potato chunks of potato flying everywhere. Oh, grab the shotgun with one hand. Fucking cocked and locked. How many many blasts would you like madam? To blasts, please get load me up six shooter. Let's go Maybe I think a potato is a great example of the bit. That's no way all of the bits is staying on the spud Well, they go in and you open that you put you

staying on the spud. Well, they go in and you open the you put you the little bowl out of the big that a lot of baked potato before. There's no. Do you think? OK, so if I gave you a big, big potato, jack of potato, yeah, and you and I said put 100 bits on that, you would get all of them just to stay on the potato. I don't know if I'd use 100 bits. I mean, I'd probably get like 90 of them in there.

Yeah, you for me. Cut open the baked potato, mush it around a little bit, throw some butter in there. Exactly, I was about to say. If you're fucking weird, I'm not. You know, throw some chives in and then dump in the bacon bits and they're in the potato bowl that you've created. I would even sometimes mix with the bits already in. So you put the bits in and then you start mixing it all around because it's...

There you go. Yeah. Massage it in. So you put the bits in and then you start mixing it all around because it's... there you go. Yeah. Massage it in. Is there a way we can change our twitch bits icon to bacon? I don't know. Bits? I don't think we can. It would just have to be our currency, like our regulation points. I don't think we can do... we can call them bacon bits. Why don't we just start calling them bacon bits? Yeah, I mean I got no problem with that. I really this conversation has led to me thinking about a novelty restaurant that shoots everything with weapons at you, but doesn't advertise. They do that at all. So like the premise of bacon bits.

That is the scariest restaurant. Oh, my God. Do you want someone orders a salad? Do you want cracked pepper on this? And it's like, yeah, sure. They pull out like a chain gun to crack it and just unload on the salad. Just everything is shot at the food. Oh, that'd be great. What a terrible idea.

Our food guns. Condiments just bouncing off your plate like a super soaker. It would be cool if there was a restaurant that had just like a constant like imagine a ketchup gun and it would just shoot ketchup across the restaurant into like a catchment bucket. And if you want to catch up, you just have to lift your food up and take one of the ketchup hits. Oh, isn't isn't that like like when you put your hand

there's like some restaurant where you like put your hand up and like they throw rolls to you from like across the restaurant. So it's kind of like that. That's fun. I was more imagining with what Gavin is saying, you know how they're like Japanese restaurants with conveyor belts. It's like that. It's almost like a rainforest cafe. But there's a river that runs by every table and they just rotate out what condiment is going down the river. So it's like a, it's like a Wonka factory style. Like it could just be like a ketchup river.

Exactly. So like if it's ketchup, you want some ketchup, you just dip your fries in the river as it's going by. I just wouldn't want to be at the end of the river. What if, what if it's a river of water that moves, but there's little boats on the river and there's different condiments in the boats that go by. You can like dip your nugget in the boat as it goes by. You're going to, you're going to capsize the boat though.

That's going to be, it's going to be watery condiments. Yeah, maybe. And I don't want to take a bread roll from a boat. Why not? You'd rather have somebody throw it to your hand from across the room? And I don't want to take a bread roll from a boat. Why not? You'd rather have somebody throw it to your hand from across the room? I mean, it's a revolving sushi concept, right? But it's little boats.

Yeah. And it's ketchup. Oh, there you go. Of course it exists. Yeah. Yeah, it's just revolving sushi, but on a boat. And then, yeah. Is that but mustard.

I think rolls are the most catchable food that you would have in a restaurant. Somebody threw it at you. Well, I think for the for the little tiny river, I think hot dogs would be the perfect food for that. Mm hmm. It could be quite thin river. Like they just let the hot dog on down to you. Yeah, like buns going by So you'd be okay with a hot dog bun going down the river, but not a roll going down the river

I would like my bun to be wrapped in foil. Okay. I Assumed it was a wet bread issue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah What would be the worst food to catch at a restaurant? Oh My soon. I guess it would be tough because you couldn't. Mashed potatoes would be tough because it would just go. Surely would be a mother. Surely is a yeah.

I don't think you can even do liquids like that would be that's too crazy. We have to be solid in some form. Spaghetti. Spaghetti would be real tough. But maybe you could like wrap the spaghetti around a meatball to like kind of paint it. Spaghetti ball kind of situation.

Yeah. Has anyone ever had meatballs completely yarn balled by spaghetti? I don't know. I don't think so. Like a reverse spaghetti and meatballs? Yeah, but it's just like each one is a complete bite of spaghetti. Yeah. Completely encasing a meatball. I think it's probably really tough to do it.

Has anybody ever done the opposite and hollowed out a meatball and filled it with spaghetti and then closed it back up? I feel like that'd be easier. That would definitely be easier. Because I don't know how you should make it that to stick with the roll of the spaghetti. I feel like it would just untangle. All this

dude. No way. Oh, my God. This is well. Everything's real. I feel like that's a lazy thing. That's a lazy bowl of yarn. Though I can see the meatball.

Yeah, I agree. There's also the kind of the other way, I think. That's similar, but not as good as what I was thinking. Yeah yeah I think I think what you're thinking Jeff. Yeah. Right here. Ah damn it! It's like it's a giant meatball cake. It's a picture of everything. With an innard of spaghetti. It's called inside out, inside out spaghetti. These are all interesting looking gimmicks that I assume are going to be not as good as just a bowl of spaghetti. No, definitely not. But I do like the idea of a restaurant where when you go in they give you a baseball glove to catch your food.

Everyone's got gloves on. Food glove? Could the glove be bread so you can eat it after? Yeah. Imagine a baseball mitt of bread. You imagine how gross that would be, though, to eat that bread after you put your hand in it and caught things. No, it's going to have all the sweaty food. No. Yeah, your hand. Oh, God, it's gross.

It'd be perfect if you still had taste buds on your fingers, though. There's a bad throw and you catch somebody else's meal. That's just free for you. And they still got to make the meal for the other person. But any food you catch that isn't yours, it's fair game. You just get an additional dish. I bet a beef Wellington would be good to catch. Oh, yes. Anything that's like really nicely contained with all the ingredients.

Yeah. Do you think you could eat your way out of a bread helmet? Not for me. No. How thick is the helmet? And are we talking like a Spartan helmet? Are we talking like a fully encased head helmet? I like that I say helmet and you immediately go to Spartan. Well, I'm thinking that's to me the first helmet I think of. Are we talking like an astronaut type?

What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? Somebody says helmet that's the first helmet I think of is the smart captain someone Check the youtuber or video version on patreon for this oh My god, are you that what that person is wearing is not a bread helmet? But is actually the start of a catamari ball that they are just part. Yeah That's like a bread roof. That's more like bread shingles

That's sort of a bread helmet. That's a definitely a bread. Yeah. No, but I don't think what's the helmet you think of immediately when somebody says helmet. Oh, interesting. There you go. Football. I think of an army kevlar helmet. Yeah, I was thinking more of like a sports helmet.

So you don't even have a helmet in mind. You're coming at me for my Spartan helmet. I just I if someone said, quick, put on a helmet. I wouldn't try looking for a Spartan one. I wouldn't look for one because I don't have one. But that's the first imagery that I think of all those fancy Zack Snyder shots of people in Spartan helmets. Yeah. Imagine that. But a loaf. All those fancy Zack Snyder shots of people in the part and hell yeah

Imagine that but a loaf Speaking of speaking of helmets next we're in the mosque yeah, Nick's Nick's definitely wearing the man. Yeah, it's pretty fucking clear Yeah We got him! I didn't think we'd ever win this game! We got you! We got you, we got the monkey, we got the monkey. We got him. We did it! I'm so mad right now. I was like, 10 minutes, 10 minutes. I texted the group, 10 minutes into the episode. I think Nick is wearing the mask

Nick you become a different person with the mask on The whole time And it was I just kept having to ask you to repeat yourself because you were so far away And I thought I never have to do that. Yep. This is weird. I feel like when I was asking him about the audio things I Originally was on your side, Eric, and then I thought he answered that pretty clearly, but I thought maybe he's like pushing his mouth to the front of the mask to try and and then I figured towards the end, no one would know better than Eric. Why didn't you just open the mouth and talk normal?

I've been told that that's cheating. That is cheating. Yeah. That's great that you didn't do that. Yeah. For me, it was the quiet answering sort of, like the way that you sounded far from like the microphone, but way more ooze and yes, like this, you were in 100% eat mode. Yep.

Hoisted by my own petard. I am 100% eat mode. Yeah. Always said by my own petard. It's 100% caught. Now back when I made my great GTA mistake, I am locked in now when we do this podcast. So I didn't immediately notice the Eric text until quite a bit later and me trying to catch up on what happened. And I felt like such a fucking idiot after doing that. Because there's a point I felt like, and is a very specific grasset reference Tom sand of all in the traders where they had they set up a way To like catch a traitor and then he just fucks it up by like explaining for them out of it

Where Jeff was like Nick? could you repeat that and I answered for Nick and Understanding the context of what Jeff was doing at that point. I was like fucking All of this podcast and understanding the context of what Jeff was doing at that point, I was like, I'm fucking, I ruined it. We're trying to get more kick-talked in a subtle way. You're the Tom Sandiball of this podcast. No! I don't, don't put that on me! But it was a, Tom Sandiball, I thought of that in the Traders where I just, through not being part of the loop. In his case, he's just a fucking idiot, but I didn't know what we were doing.

Yeah, there was a lot of extra like What if I swapped arses with Nick? Hey, yeah, what was that? I do love there's a whole set There's a whole conversation going on throughout the entire podcast of us talk texting Yeah, that Andrew finally got on to halfway through though Gavin's like I'm not convinced and it's like what would I finally got onto. Halfway through though, Gavin's like, I'm not convinced. And it's like, what would convince you though? That was so obvious, man.

Like, I felt like it was very obvious. I got Deaconvinced after he was talking about the audio, because I thought, oh, we can hear this pretty well. Mmm. There's some mention to it. Well, Nick, we got you. You got got. I got got.

I can't believe it. That's it. What does this mean now? I don't know. I was about to say. Oh, I have no idea. Oh, I don't know. I was about to say. Oh, I have no idea. Oh, I don't know. We win 2025. Yes. Yeah. That was a prize for it, I think. I didn't get a prize ever. I think the audience didn't.

The audience will let us know if there's a prize. Yeah, if they remember. They will know. I just can't believe it. I didn't think we'd ever win this game. So we're good till 2026. Yeah, we don't worry We know that the the watch is ended. We can all stand down. Yeah. Yeah, we can all stand down. Thank God Damn, Eric. That was phenomenal work. Thank you. It was just I could write two companies with this guy I know when he's in monkey mode, baby. Also hell of a hell of a try Nick really appreciate how bold you were Yeah, well, I thought you hadn't heard me in it yet. No, I thought you did great. So maybe I could sneak it by. Yeah. Fuck.

Tough stuff, dude. Tough stuff. I'm so disappointed. Also, way to play it off. Had no idea you were onto me. Yeah, I just get in that text going. I'm like, oh, should we slack? I'm like, they're not gonna see it if we're slacking.

It had to be a text. And then, man, I just felt like, I'm like, oh, we're on top of this. We got this guy. We got this fucking monkey right here. We're like Lorenz and Lorenz local lawyers, we're on top of this. We got this guy. We got this fucking monkey right here. We're like Lorenz and Lorenz local lawyers. We're on top of it. I was so sure that I had you,

that I was rolling on me the whole time. Awesome. I knew within 10 minutes, that's just a lot of footage. We just, we decided to wait until the end of the episode. God, you really got my hopes up. The thing that surprised me most is that this is the beginning of a text conversation with everyone except Nick.

And I thought that would have existed already, but it didn't. It does. It may. It doesn't for me. So maybe it was a maybe it's a text conversation with that Jeff and Nick. Nope. It's it's the four. It's the four of us and I have tech.

I have a bunch of texts from... Well, now Nick's gonna feel left out. Yeah! For me, it starts with, I think Nick is wearing the mask. These are all from like 2024. When we were working with Nick? 2024, 2023, yeah. I have like a lot of stuff.

What? It's not a lot. Whatever he's saying, it's not a lot, Nick. Good Lord. Yeah. I don't know. I don't... Listen, I don't...

Trying to not make feel Nick feel bad. It's not one way or the other. I'm telling you that there's a bunch of texts from this group. Why can't I see them? I don't know. I'm just telling you what I have. Yeah, I don't know. Sense fake.

Oh, it might be because of Jeff's broken us. Oh, yes. It might have been a different thread for me. Might be. There's pictures of, there's like an iguana jumping and eating a french fry. There's a video from like people, like I guess me dancing at Jeff's wedding.

And yeah, there's like a bunch of stuff. You just didn't want Nick to know? Huh. Who's, are you talking about me? Yeah. Sounds like it. The guy who didn't text those things? Sure. Yeah, I didn't want Nick to know about the stuff

you guys texted to me. Absolutely. It was great when Jeff's phone was fucked up because I would text something in one group text and then it would reply in a completely different text. It would be a completely different conversation. It was crazy. And I wouldn't get any of it. And we would be making decisions about the company that I didn't know anything

about. And then I'd have to figure it out from context clues later when I'm like, did we decide to do that? We just shouldn't talk about work outside of Slack. Yeah, it is the work platform. Is that the slogan? Yeah, it is. Yeah, absolutely. They got dicks in every direction and it's your work platform. Is that the slogan? Yeah, it is. Yeah, absolutely. They got dicks in every direction and it's your work platform. I know why we sometimes talk on the text chain without Nick.

It's because we're planning a thing. They go. Yeah. What the fuck does that mean? Well, it's clearly about you. That's all you can't know. The prank that you were talking about. Uh, well, well, we should probably wrap this one up. I'm sorry you can't know. The prank that you were talking about. Well, we should probably wrap this one up so that way we can do another. We're doing two this week again.

I'm excited. FYI for everyone. So we should probably wrap this one up so we can get into the next one. How do you guys feel about that? I feel about it. Let's do it. I just feel great that we can relax now for the rest of the year. Yeah. Yeah. Put our feet up and just pure joy. Easy peasy podcasting now.

I feel like shit. What I love about this game, being the last man in the rotation is I'm never really playing. It's a game that we either win or lose without me having any impact at all. It's great. I just get to observe even though I'm on the team. All right. It looks like 2026. We're waiting for Andrew's sort of go and we'll see if he's on the watch. We'll see how it goes. Very interesting.

Very, very interesting. But you don't have to wait till 2026 to hear us be idiots again, because we'll be doing it next week right here on Regulation podcast episode 58. Hope to see or hear you there. Bye bye. Bye. Man.