Regulation Podcast - I'll Have What He's Gonna Have // TPG's Clogtube Accessories [112]

Episode Date: July 1, 2026

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about peetownpasteup, british teeth, Gus, fake accounts, Burnie, mustache, swapped facial hair, ordering, coffee news, musings vs news, Route 66, Baby Games, Finish the Fight: Whoopi, Matthew Perry, Frank Sinatra's address book, Phil Collins, TPG, Clogtube, accessories, hobbies, incredible bird, Ben Simmons, roadrunners, lemmings, penguins, big tuna, animal neighbor, stopping animal attacks, and bearoids. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is episode 112. My name is Jeff with me as always. Eric, Nick, Andrew Gavin. You might be asking, did Jeff get the house? I don't know. We're recorded back to back. It was five minutes ago.

I told you you're going to have to wait a whole other week. This is a really special episode because we're recording this back to back. But we're living in a world right now in which Nick witnessed the Knicks win a championship in his eyes. He saw it live. He was there. Jeff didn't get that. house. What a time. Absolute disaster for everybody.

All you can do is laugh. If Jeff didn't get the house, Jeff's in jail right now and I would appreciate if you guys would come visit me. What do you think bail is? For what I'm going to do, I don't know that there is bail. Oh, wow. I'm wondering if there's like your first offense. I just dropped an image in there.

At the time of this recording, it just went up an hour ago. This is from P-Town paste up in the subreddit. and it is being a relaxation guy and it's somebody saying put him up and their feet go up in a lazy chair. Andrew, you still consider yourself a relaxation guy? I sure do, but like once again, the thing I pitched, he grabs that goddamn leg extender thing

and that gun guy is out. He's done. A little cannon below the leg rest. That is such a cool image. $501. us too. Yeah, the 501 I really like. Everything about it is very cool.

The how nervous the gosh looks as saying, but I'm a relaxation guy is so funny. Oh man. That's a great image. Have you ever been in that position Andrew? Have I what's how he sits?

Not that I can think of. Like I'm sure I have, but like not in a memorable way. Nothing that comes to mind. Uh, speaking of images, though, very quickly, I was playing through a game called Directive 80-20, and there's a scene in it, and the, the video's kind of fucked up for it, so it's not like the clearest of images, but you're watching a video that your family, it's a space game, you're an astronaut, and you're watching a video that this British family left for one of the astronauts on the station, station, and they gave the

child the most obnoxiously British teeth I've ever seen. I just wanted Gavin's opinion on this on the scale of how offended he is. Look at these fucking teeth that they gave this kid. Oh my God. Oh, no. Kind of looks like me when I was a kid. Yeah. Okay.

So not offended. So accurate. Did you wear a lot of berets and when you were a kid or not, but what is that thing, a Barrette? I have no idea. A what? The hair thing, the girl has. I was so thrown by the barrette.

It's just a headband. It's just a headband. That's it. Oh. My whole life is scrambled right now. Excuse Jeff. His house of his dream slipped from his fingers. Don't stop saying it.

It hasn't happened yet. It has. I hate it. Hate it as much as you do, Jeff. It's eat me up on the inside. I still have two hours and 15 minutes before my life is over. Will you text the group so we know whether to phone around police stations? Just, I tell you what?

Just watch the news tonight. Come on. If there's nothing on the news, we're good. Yeah, I'll text you guys. I'll obviously text you guys. Okay. The good news. Yes, the good news.

The good news is that regulations hiring. We got space for one member. Oh, man. Who would you guys replace me with? Oh, boy. Let me think. Oh. I think we would do auditions.

Yeah, I think we'd have to. I know that, like, Gus probably doesn't, want to, but I feel like that would be fun. I would replace you with a spitting image puppet of someone doing you. Fuck you. I quit. Replace me, bitch. I feel like Gus could fill my shoes easily, but Gus is not in a place in his life

where he wants to do that level of work. Gus doesn't want to do the amount of work regulation does. He doesn't want to do the work he should be doing for Stinky Dragon. He's not going to want to do this. That's what I'm saying. There's no way he would be in for the commitment. Speaking of Gus, you reminded me of something I wanted to talk about. Okay.

I had an interesting dilemma occur where I was on TikTok. I was just swiping through. And I got a stinky dragon thing. They made like a video talking about their two year anniversary. So I was watching it for a minute. Was that the two years ago I lost my job? Seven people in a row saying I lost my job. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I went immediately went to the comments just to see what people were saying. And I was confronted with fake me. There is, there was somebody who has an Andrew Panton account that isn't me. But it's a problem because, uh, nothing against Sticky Drake. I don't watch the content. The comment that they left was, I love y'all more than I love eating pencil. C squad is my faith tavern. I love staying warm with my smarsh blanket. And my initial instinct was being, that's not me, but it was incredibly positive towards the people that the content is for. So it was very conflicting in what to do. I didn't end up doing anything.

I decided the best course of action was to just talk about it on the show. There is a fake me on TikTok apparently. Yeah, I guess you're torn because that person is more positive than the real you would be. Absolutely. A million times.

I would never write that to that. I don't think it's a show. I just don't watch it. I mean, there's two ways that could go. The last time I remember being impersonated, the impersonator me offered somebody on the East Coast a job and then convinced them to fly across America to Austin to get the job and then confront me

because I was not returning their emails from my fucking weird hotmail account that I supposedly had. So it could just, the positivity, you know, it's not the worst that could happen. Not the worst public-facing thing. That got way further than it should have. Like that guy spent almost an entire morning in the office. I can't believe it got that far.

I know. It was terrible. I felt so bad for him. But also I was scared to death he was going to kill me because he was very upset. It was simultaneously like tragic and also very suspicious and incredibly sad. Yeah. And it all stems from some dumb shit using a fake account who does this stuff. I hate when people do this.

I fucking can't stand this shit. It makes me so upset. And it's the reason that we don't have certain URLs and certain email addresses and certain accounts. It's the reason. Oh, dude, I got it. Hey, I got you guys. Dude, no sweat. I got you guys.

Cure my demands. Fuck you. I don't know. Some of the most fun I've had on the internet has been with my Eric Padour account. Oh, my God. Dude, it's like, they're not funny, and I implore people to report fake accounts when they see them. It's so obnoxious. It's the worst.

It's the worst. It's the worst. One time. And they were suddenly like, you're not you. This other guy is you. And I text them, I'm like, you're not me, dickhead or I've messaged him. And he's like, yes, I am. And I had to send them my fucking driver's license and documentation.

It took like a week to get my Facebook account back from this other guy who was just me for a week with all my contacts. I couldn't fucking believe it. And that's when I stopped using Facebook. Yeah. It's the worst. I was playing Halo 2 with Bernie once, and some guy in the party was telling Bernie that he had the Bernie Burns on Facebook

and was like talking to Bernie's high school friends. To Bernie. What the fuck? Why? What an idiot? What a dumbass. Bernie was just like, huh. Hmm.

Please don't do that. Please don't impersonate me in public to my real life friends. Right? It was wild. Wow. That's awful. I'm looking through my notes.

Andrew would never say smarsh. I guarantee you. No, I don't know what a smarsh is. Hearing him say these things, like reading what the comment is, like out loud is really. Also, also in a freeze frame on the saddest picture of Gus. Also, yeah, this is a great photo of Gus. Also, Andrew would never use that picture of Andrew, I'm pretty sure. That's my spray from a million years ago.

I don't think I have any accounts for that. That's my image. Maybe my Facebook, but I don't use that. Do you have a thick enough stash, Andrew, to pull that look off in real life? No, absolutely not. No, is it kind of... No, we're close. Oh, okay.

Nowhere close. Have you ever tried? Yeah. Just, uh, I don't have an image. God, that picture of Gus, that is not a happy man in that photo. No. That's sad. That's sad.

That is, he looks bummed. Yeah. I know, Gavin, when you did a, like, laser team, you had, you know, the facial hair in it and everything. But have you ever just done like an actual mustache? Because you grow facial hair like crazy. Like have you ever just gone like I'm doing full mustache, like full on? No.

I mean, in Lays team was the only time I've ever shaved it that way. Would you do it? But then it would look like that I'd be worried that people would think that I look like I could pull it off. What? No. I think people would think that I thought it was good.

There's no way. Just him and I arguing back and forth like that. Your fear with having a mustache is that it would look too good? No, is that people would think I thought it looked good like that. When in fact, I'm just doing it for a laugh. I can't pull that off. Why? I'll try it.

You haven't done it. I can't pull that off. All right, I'll try. I mean, like, do it for a video. Do it for a video one time. Like, we'll get you a mirror for outside and you can shave. And then it'll just be for like a video. Okay, let's do it.

I think it was a great idea. Yeah. I would do weird facial hair if I could grow facial hair. I can't grow anything, man. Like, it's ugly. Jeff and I swapped once. You did.

Famously. What? Not famously. Nick didn't know it. Never mind. Do you ever just do an American accent for fun, Evan? Why would I do that?

I don't have any... I don't talk... I was going to say. You're asking the guy who he doesn't... He doesn't talk to him. or other people. Like, I don't know who he would do the American accent for.

Is white? Do you think in different accents ever? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Absolutely. Do you ever think British? Yeah.

Sure. Definitely. I feel like you should use your American accent when you order at restaurants. That way, maybe you'll get your order right once. Absolutely. The bets, I know we've talked about it extensively, but watching Gavin try to order,

with his British accent and having the server be like, I'm sorry, what? Have you ever got it right on the first try? Have you had to repeat everything, every meal order you've ever made in America? I'd do it all twice. Because no one's listening in British. You have to hear me say it twice to be like, oh, he's foreign.

Yeah, but then if you just order an American, you don't have to worry about it. Yeah. Maybe I'll just write it. Yeah, there you go. I didn't appreciate the situation the first time that we went to like Vegas or whatever together and you just kept ordering the same.

thing I got. You just kept, you kept going, I'll have that too. And I did not understand what was happening. And then it was like, oh, when he orders what he wants with his accent, they don't know what the fuck he's saying. And it is a debacle. Well, there's that. And also, it's, it's a double whammy of if I can, if I can, if I hear what you've got sounds good. Chances are, A, I was never going to order that. It's nice to try something new. B, I don't, they don't have to hear me say anything foreign. And C, it's so far. to just say, say, please. It's so quick.

It's incredible. Efficiency. It's an efficiency order. Yeah. It's a little Gavin life hack. Doesn't work if you go first, though. Oh, true. I'll have what he's eventually having. I'll have what he's going to have.

Yeah. I've been thinking about face off season two, which is... Oh, yeah. this time. And there's a very real possibility in which the audience will have the loser punishment. Hell yeah. And I've been thinking about for the loser punishment for the audience, if we made like the most obnoxious, annoying piece of content that we could think of for them

to have to endure. Do we do that every week? Yeah, we do. But like, we can modify it. We could go for the optimal. And one of the thoughts I just had because of this conversation is a piece of content in which the three of us are doing British accents and you are doing an American accent for the entirety of the content. Oh, that would be atrocious. Yeah. That would be so bad.

If you want to get really boring with it, I could go into detail about the trials and tribulations of my GM mode in NBA 2K26. Oh, wow. I could get granular with the decisions that I'm making as a general manager for the Boston Celtics and how none of them are working out in my favor. Well, Nick's favorite basketball team lost.

Jeff didn't get the house of his dreams. I also have suffered a thing. It's been in my notes for a long time. It was either in the stakeout video that we made or Gavin becomes an adult. But there's a part of the video in which one of you guys brings up coffee news and that fucking blew my mind

and ruined the entire kind of aura of coffee news. for me. I thought coffee news was like a little local thing. What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? You guys talked about coffee news. It's a little news thing in restaurants. It was this. He keeps using

the actual title of the thing when nobody knows what it's called. It's the little fake news people thing. Nobody knows what it's called. Everyone knows what it's called. That was four people going, what the fuck are you saying? And you just kept going coffee news, coffee news. Eric just posted an image of coffee news. I've never seen it before

my life. I still don't know what you're talking about. It's because this is a thing that was inside the restaurant, I think, when me and Nick went to go get sandwiches, they had coffee news that was sitting on the inside. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I most often associate it with the Wendy's. It's in Wendy's here. It's all over the place in like restaurants and that type of thing. But what it is is it's local ads and it's like some goofy news stories and then your horoscope and like a connect the dots and a spot the difference. And it feels very like, local and like small and then you guys brought up coffee news in the thing and it fucking sent me. I was like what do you mean you have a coffee news and I looked and I guess they

franchise coffee news is all over the world and they're all like specifically regional small things but I thought it was just like a in my town little newspaper thing. This is what you took away from the nudie matter. I have no idea what you're talking about still. Well yeah because you've never looked at coffee news I guess. It would have nothing to do with a news. duty mag did it. It was them. I've never seen a coffee news in my life. I still... Oh, they're in every restaurant. They're all over the place. You got to open your eyes. I don't think they are. I went to a restaurant yesterday. It wasn't there. Well, while you're in jail, after you don't get the house, you'll have plenty of time to catch up on coffee news.

I'll have to go to the sandwich restaurant that we went to to film that to grab one, because I've never seen this before in like 50 plus years. Yeah. I'm curious how many other people in the audience were shocked by the declaration of coffee news. I can't be alone. Blew my mind. Is this a prank? No. What do you mean?

I just don't know what you're talking about. You're talking about this little flyer like it's their universal and everybody knows about him and Gavin and I have never heard of it before. Oh, I'm sorry, I kind of tuned out there for a second. You guys talk about coffee news? Yes.

Okay. Jeff, it's coffee news. Jeff, it's coffee news. Complements of McDonald's? I've still. never seen that. I've never seen that. What is that?

What do you mean? It's coffee news. Is that like the penny saver? Is it one of those kind of things? I know. What's the penny saver? It's sort of like that, but it's like, like, faker. Like the one that was there had like some like local, like local ads and then a lot of like

this space for rent type deal. And then like musings from like old people. What I described. That's what coffee news is. But why you describe it? Because it's iconic. Stop saying it's iconic. They're a huge part of the, if we polled the audience, I bet you 70% are up to date on coffee.

Well, at least know about coffee news. You think 70% of our audience. If we did a poll, our audience is all about the coffee news. 70%? Upbeat, fun, interactive, and informative. Their website says coffee news is every. If you went into our subreddit and searched for coffee news, would it come up? No, I don't think so.

Because everyone thinks it's local, so nobody feels the need to talk about it. According to coffeenews.com, they are in 37 states. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And also Canada. And then if you're looking for it to be local, Texas coffee news. Huh.

I'm surprised that you guys aren't coffee news, guys. I thought you were more cultured than that. You're surprised? If Texas coffee news is in more than one restaurant in Austin, I'll be so surprised. Oh, I think it's in a few. Because if it was in, what was the name of the sandwich shop we went to? Two cheese subs, I think. Yeah, if it's in two cheese, it's...

Oh, boy. Well, I'm going to have to look for coffee news every time I go to a restaurant now for the rest of my life. Should we do a coffee news tour? Yeah, we should. Sure. I guess we can start at Tucci's? What if for 2027 we can only eat in places with coffee news? What if we get an ad in coffee news?

Oh. I mean, there's no reason why we can't. It's just Texas coffee news. And then I think we just contact them and say, hey, here's what we do. Like, here's our ad. It's a podcast. Can the ad be my order so I could just grab the coffee news and point to it and say, Can I have this?

I mean, yeah, if you pay for it, I guess. We're going to see how much costs for an ad. We might be able to do multiple. So there's two different ones that I'm finding. There's Texas coffee news, but we can get more hyper-regional with Austin's, Austin Metro advertising paper, Austin Metro Coffee News. Yeah, but have you seen the, have you seen the print area of Austin Metro Coffee News services, Round Rock, Flugerville, Cuddo, and Maynard?

At no point does it say it services Austin. It's true. It says hyper-local advertising. So very interesting. Also, the latest edition is from February. I'm into the idea of advertising through these motherfuckers, getting hyper-local with our advertising. We might have to go through.

I don't know if we use Austin Metro Coffee News because it appears like it's not operating. But Texas Coffee News seems. like it is. I didn't think that Texas Coffee News was going to be such a rich main for us to mine, or a vein for us to mine. Because this is bizarre.

But they have Sudoku and Yeah. I think I came and stuff. And if people want to see it after we advertise in it for whatever reason, they have an online edition so you'll be able to see our ad where it is

Gavin's order for whatever restaurant. Well, we had a a funny, exploration. When I looked into the coffee news more, it's the same news stories regardless of region,

which I think is fantastic. It is the exact same paper. Well, it's not, it's like not news. Yeah, it is. It's like musings. Yeah, well, there's new.

I mean, musings can be news. Newsings? Yeah. I think it's great that when you click, request a quote on their website for advertising,

and it says, get seen, and see. Zina in all caps by thousands every week. I'm looking at the Canadian version. 88 unique additions distributed to 4,200 plus establishments across Alberta. They have a quotable quote section so you can get a quotable quote. This first one is every day is a new day and you'll never be able to find happiness if you don't move on.

That's from Kerry Underwood. The other one is intelligence is the ability to adapt to change. That's Stephen Hawking. Yeah, see, this is great. Two of our greatest luminaries, Carrie Underwood. And Stephen Hawking. Yeah, he had it. His estate had him put in that, I'm sure.

Yeah. I'm getting to the question, maybe the reach of coffee news based on their social media output. Is that right? Is that right? Their Instagram. Well, this is Coffee News, Alberta. So this is just the Alberta outlet, once again,

has 601 followers. Coffee News, the YouTube channel that's on their website that I was on, has 58 subscribers. So it might be... But this is, once again, the Alberta outlet. There's constant, there's so many outlets. There's, you know, I can't be judging this.

But I still hold by 70%. I think more people know coffee news than Archie's weird mysteries. I disagree. Uh, man, I wouldn't, I didn't know either of them. Archie's Weird Mysteries or whatever was like a TV show. This is four old people. in maybe the late 80s, this is really something. I am contacting them right now to advertise.

Yes. Yeah, no problem. So I'll let you know how it's looking. Well, just turn things around. I'm okay with it not being local if it leads to us advertising with the coffee news. So am I saying that we want to advertise within coffee news? I'm saying we're a local podcast in Austin

and we are looking to advertise within coffee news. Yes. to increase our reach. Yes. And visibility. Yes. Visibility. We want coffee news customers to be regulation customers.

Can we track the success of it somehow? That's what I was going to say. Maybe we create a unique email, but people can see online. No, I got it. I got mine. It's fine. What if people who discover us through coffee news could have to comment a certain word? But how do we communicate that?

Because people can see it online. Okay. Hello. we are a local podcast in Austin and we are looking to advertise within coffee news to increase our reach and visibility. Anything else?

That's good. Thank you. All right. Okay. All right. Thank you. Got it. We appreciate your business.

We appreciate your business. Anything else? Or say thank you. You appreciate our business. You appreciate our business. Okay. So it says it ends with thank you, period. You appreciate our business, period.

I would remove the last part. Oh, you think so? You think take that last time? The period? Make it a question mark. You appreciate our business? I'm more on board. Put the ball in their court.

Okay. It ends with you. We appreciate our business. But you do a poll. We can do all sorts of things. I think the best way to prove how right I am is when you guys go on the Route 66 trip. Yeah. Every place you go into, you have to look for coffee news.

And I want to see the giant stack when you come back of all the coffee newses that you guys acquire. Oh, we have to take the news. You have to take, well, yeah, that's the whole point. You take that. Oh, okay. I'm going to promise you that from this point on, I'm going to grab every coffee news I see for the rest of my life and show it to you. Do not worry about that.

We'll do. Maybe as part of Nostradamus each year going forward, there's a coffee news predictor of how many coffee news is you end up with by the end of the year. It's going to be a lot. It's going to be a lot. Well, considering I've ended up with zero in the first 50 and a half years. didn't know you're looking. You don't know what you don't know.

I still don't know I'm looking. Gavin doesn't know what he does, though. What this is. So you're going to start seeing coffee news all over the place. Do they have it in England? Oh, I don't know. Does it sound like I know whether they have it in England? They have it in New Zealand?

In England, it's called Crumpet News. Yeah, it's T-tips. Yeah, it's T-news. T-news. That doesn't sound as good. Yeah. Tea leaves. Oh, the tea leaves.

Teet leaves. Tea leaves is good. Yeah. Reading the tea leaves. Yep. We got to get in coffee news. This is good. I mean,

I don't think it's good, but it works. If it works and we, it ends up being like a boon for us, we should create our own competitor to coffee news, regulation news. Regulation news. Put them out of business.

Yeah. No, you can't run coffee news out of business. It's been going strong since like 88. It's been going since 88. Yeah. It's, Gavin and coffee news strong since 88.

I'd put my Gavin up against their coffee news any day of the week. Yeah. Me against the whole industry? Yeah. Well, industry might be a strong term for what we're dealing with here. Yeah. Also, you're kind of an industry in yourself. You know what?

Yeah, you as an industry might be stronger than coffee news. If you're listening and you are a coffee news franchisee, let us know. Please do. Please do. Yeah. Thank you. There are people that like, I mean, Nunya, does Nunya have a coffee news?

Nunya needs coffee news. It could. Well, we should get a coffee news in Nunya. I think that's a really good idea. Yeah, it's a really good idea. Absolutely. I wanted to point out, and by the time this episode comes out, it's maybe a little past its expiration date,

but it's always good to promote, you know, our old videos. Eric's baby games, rousing success, a lot of positive comments from the community who really like watching Eric play war rats. I think they liked Gavin watching Eric play war rats I don't think Gavin liked watching Eric play war rats you don't remember?

It's horrible. What do you mean? Yeah, it was stock shit. I played it like dog shit. It was a fun thumbnail to make because the art was good though. Yeah, the audience really seemed to enjoy it. Can't wait for this baby game rotation to come back around.

Hey, hell yeah, like let's get another one of this. People are really into this. They liked your misery, Gavin. Oh. To be fair, it's a pretty, I like it too. Yeah. I really, I want a second part of that game Jeff played in Jeff's baby games where he put

the key on the door handle. That game was crazy. There's a gun, there's maybe a gun up the office or something. I want more of that because that game was so weird. Can we have a full part two of it? Well, we'll do it next time we do Jeff's baby games, part two. We'll do it. Jeff trying to put that key in the lock and instead putting it on top of the lock.

put on top. I almost shit my pants. I can't believe it. I don't know why that was so funny. It was crazy. It was crazy. Out of nowhere, too. That video was totally out of nowhere.

And it was so good, man. It was awesome. God, it was good. Speaking of videos that we've done recently, expiration date and all, I feel like we should talk about the Finish the Fight Whoopi Goldberg video that we put out. Oh, that's right.

A lot of comments. A lot of comments in that, in the video posting about how it's because of certain awards or I guess like, I don't know, titles she's received, that means that she's beaten the game a minimum of two times. Yeah, but that's finish the fight is about picking up where the save left off. Oh, so she left the fight on finish. She was halfway through a campaign. If she finished the fight twice, we still got to finish the fight.

She could have finished a fight eight times. there is a save that's halfway complete. We're finishing off from that save. I think that is a perfect... I think that's the perfect answer to that question. Is it? Gavin, what do you think of the perfect? Gavin, what do you think of the perfect answer? Is that really true?

Like, she's already beaten it twice? Yeah, at least twice. Based on the badges, yeah, I guess so. But you know what? She gave up. Our first ever one, we're ref finishing the fight. I realized that she was having the same problem with that hammer guy that I had

and that's why she stopped at that level. It is possible. I think the flight ended. She was like, I just can't do it a third time. Yeah. I don't blame it. And that's where we step in.

Yeah. That was good. Larry adding all the whoopee faces on the left and right side of the gameplay of that. Incredible. So funny. Yeah, Larry did a tremendous job editing.

Editing it for sure. Shout out to Laryl's. Did, uh, did you buy chance acquire any new celebrity consoles or Safe files? Still not. Should we talk about one we tried

to get that we didn't get that we gave up on recently? Yeah, the Matthew Perry the Matthew Perry Foundation did in a state sale of his where all of the contributions were going to a foundation they have that supports addiction and we lost out because it's too expensive.

It got way too pricey, unfortunately. There was another item that's not video game specific, but would have been a lot of fun and presented a lot of options for us to be fun with the information. We bid on and briefly thought we might be able to acquire Frank Sinatra's 1980 address book, but we got blown out of the water on the bidding

and it's no longer in reach. But we might have had access to every one of Frank Sinatra's friends and relatives address and phone number in 1980 to do what we wanted to with it, but unfortunately the universe didn't want us to get that one. It's all such personal stuff, though.

Like if one of us died and then they announced what on the auction was like, hey, here's Eric's phone. Yeah, here's Jeff's calendar. I'd be funny. I wouldn't be upset by it. I mean, yeah, no, it's like,

if I'm dead, I don't care. I guess it really doesn't matter. It's just, but I'm, But I'm with you, Gavin. I mean, everybody in that address book is dead. It's going to be more like, oh, look, Frank Sinatra had Jonathan Winter's home phone number. That's cool. Oh, look, he had Milton Burrell's address.

That's cool. I bet, you know, who doesn't live there anymore? Milton Burrell, but, you know, it would have just been funny information to have. I don't think Billing lives anymore. Exactly. I don't think anybody in that address book is alive anymore. How old was Frank Sinatra in 1980, for Christ's sake? Oh, he's up there.

Hey, Siri, what year was Frank Sinatra born? 1915, he was 75 in 1980. 65 in 1980. Spry young fella. Very spry. So, Andrew, you'd be fine if you stacked it one day and then a year later. It was like, hey, here's Andrew's hard drive. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

You'd be fine with it. Yeah, I'm dead. He's right, he's got a point. The fuck does he carry. He's dead. What do you give a shit? It sort of becomes a problem for everybody else. I, like if your address leaks because I'm dead, that's really your problem.

Is that my problem? Is that my problem? Yeah, it absolutely would be your problem. It's not my problem. It's not my problem. Dead. I'm fucking worried about it. If you don't want me to leak your address and phone number through my death, don't give it to me. I just went to start poking. I went to go start poking around to see if there were any auctions that we could jump on. There is, yeah. Found that in, appears in November of this year.

Phil Collins archive. Will Philly C. Ooh. Genesis. I like going through these auctions because celebrities tend to own really stupid things. I found a chair that I didn't know they made. Maybe you guys have seen these before.

I at first thought that this was like a small item. It is a full size real chair that I guess was owned by Anne Margaret who liked the Raiders. It is a football helmet for the people that are just listening. It is a Raiders giant football helmet where the top of it has been cut open

and is a seat that you can sit in. Now is that image stretched? Yes, it is, right? The photo that is in our Discord is so stretched. It looks flat. It is not, it does not look like that. It is a single seat.

chair. That's crazy. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you like this so much because this is a hat that would fit you? It would. That would solve a lot of problems. That's pretty neat. The grill could be a footrest. Yeah.

We should get it. No. Why not? Let rats ruin it? I will say it is funny that the current bid on it is $25. Yeah. Estimated range 400 to 600. I was looking in line though.

Like some of these still exist like modern ones But I've I'd never seen that before And I thought that that was a very fun dumb thing It's officially licensed too That's what makes it great The idea that this got approved and The whole thing What could regulation make this massive like that?

Like make one of What's the biggest thing we made at Rouser Teeth to sell? Look at the ass on the thing The biggest thing we made at Rouser Teeth to sell skateboard yeah probably skateboard you gotta be up there didn't we sell

didn't we sell freaking like shower curtain at one point oh you know what we definitely did car screen shower curtain beach towels that fucking nonsense kind of stuff yeah

yeah that was some dumb shit in there for sure not dumb funny just dumb dumb Let's make an Ottoman. Ooh. Regulation Ottoman? Nick picks something the foot goes on. Interesting. Shocking.

Damn it to hell. Shit. Jason. Oh, Christ. I have an amazing thing to share, speaking of old, dumb regulation products. TPG over on his YouTube channel, the Green Life.

when uh one of the last products we sold at rister teeth as regulation was the clog tube which is an idea i had of taking a grown tube and making it into a plunger uh and i wanted tpg to make a commercial for it because i just wanted to see what would come of that and he had kept it in a box for like the past two years or whatever and he finally just opened it and he made a like two videos about it. He did something that was so fucking smart that I never considered that I think really opens the door for what, we've never made a grown tube

as regulation. He cracked the end of it and then attached a shovel attachment to it and he turned the clog tube into a shovel for his garden. Oh, purple shovel too. The idea of having like attachments for a grown tube is so good.

Holy shit, like an accessory case with all the different ends? Yes. Like we just sell a grown stick and then you can add anything. Yeah, like we have the grown tube and then you can make other attachments for it. It's a rake. It'd be like that scene in hook where they bring out different attachments on the pillow. But yeah. Check out TPG's YouTube channel, The Green Life. It's phenomenal. Just imagine him doing some gardening and all his neighbors could hear is, you dig some holes in the video and there is some sorry I was I was working on my phicus

but just like what attachments would you want I was thinking like a rake is a funny one I was thinking like a giant like fork or spork type situation um toilet scrubber we have a toilet plunger toilet scrubber would be good comically large toothbrush that's also great

Definitely rake. Fraying pan end? Frying pan end? Do some pancakes. Spatula's good. Frying pan end is scary to be. You wouldn't want to flip a frying pan that's not attached properly. How about grown oars?

So each end has a as an oar on the end of it. You can go rowing. Oh, that would work great. What if we sell the paddle for shit creek? Oh, shit. It'd be cool if you'd make a grown gun and then the bullets made that noise when it was a barrel.

Oh, wow. You're dead. That'd be the sound of the immunity bullet going off. Hey, let me ask you guys a question. I was thinking about yesterday when I was trying to think of ways to decompress from my intense anger. What's a hobby that you wish you enjoyed?

Like, you see other people doing and you're like, man, I wish I got joy out of that. Like, I win, it looks fun. Dude, that's mine. I have two. I'm running and fishing. Anytime I see somebody fishing, I think, like, they have so much fun. They look like they're so happy.

And I, it's, I never do it. Same with running. I actually hate running. How far do I have to go for the run as high to enjoy it? I've never had any fun running. I've run, the longest I've run for like an extended period of time is probably two hours. And I was miserable almost every minute of it. I ran five to seven days.

a week in the Army for five years and I never once met the runners high. It is a bullshit lie people tell you to justify buying so many running shoes. Maybe it applies to where you're running too.

No. Coffee maybe. You wish you got, yeah, I can see that. You've talked about it in the past. Yeah, I've talked about it in the past. Yeah, I've talked about it. quite a bit on the show. I like the idea of the ritual and like being a coffee guy. Cheese, same way. What? Yeah, we talked about the cheese wheel and watching cheese wheel,

TikTok. Yeah, like knowing about cheeses and birds. I don't get it. I don't know that I wish that I enjoyed it, but like so many people do, I don't know what I'm missing and I've, you mean like bird watching or just what do you mean? No, just yeah, I mean, bird watching. Like texting a picture of a bird that you saw at your feeder to your friend and going, dude, I saw this bird and then they go, dude, I saw this bird. I don't get it.

I know Jeff and Nick are all about it, but I don't get it. Yeah. Have you ever been next to a bird that's like incredible? Have you ever stood next to a painted bunting? An incredible bird? I think birds are weird enough

that you just end up watching them. You're just like, well, my wife is losing her fucking mind because this bird is in Austin right now and she wants desperately to see one. and she can't find one anywhere. That is a cool bird.

That's a painted bunting, yeah. Nick just texted me a video of birds. It's a cardinal. I don't care. It's a bird. That's not an invitation for additional birds. I don't care. I think you guys are approaching this the wrong way.

You need to find fucked up birds to get Eric into it. Yeah, I just don't. I don't get it. I don't, like they're just, I don't know. They're just birds. I've been around incredible birds. They're just birds. But I don't feel like this applies to the question of you don't get it and you don't want to get it.

I don't think you want to be a bird guy. Eric, I think I can flip you in one image. Okay. You ready? Yep. Stupid. It's the most exotic bird I've ever seen. What an idiot.

It's a picture of Jack's pigeon. Nick texted me two more birds. It's a dove and a blue jay. I don't, I don't care. It's a dove. I don't. Stop. sending me birds.

That's not sending me. That's a squirrel. Nick sent me a squirrel. They like to steal the bird feet. That's not a bird. That's a squirrel. I'm trying to think what other hobby. Yo-yoing?

If you were into squirrel watching, I think that's something I could get behind. Bird watching, I just don't understand. And it's not that I don't want to get it. I must be missing something really incredible. But boy, I cannot wrap my head around it. And that and that was the point. to this question, Eric. I feel the same way about running. It sounds like Gavin does too.

And fishing. I wish I wanted to get into a little kayak and go fish. People seem so happy when they're doing it. And to me, it just looks like, there's a barrier to entry to do it that makes it just not worth it for me. I could be wrong, but I feel like unless you're really into it, the majority of people that like fishing like the just being disconnected from everything else. probably but with the focus of what they're doing i think the actual fishing aspect of it although you then have those people that are insane that are like cheating and fishing competition by putting fake weights in the fish like you got you got people retiring from the NBA to become professional fishermen like ben simmons for Christ sake it would be every hobby has like an extreme of just crazy

people that take it incredibly seriously i would love to watch a show that just explore that. Like the craziest people for each of these hobbies, especially ones that are more relaxing, like bird watching, I imagine has some insane people in it. Like hyper hobbies? Yes. Like who's the Billy Mitchell of bird watching? I want to know that. Just somebody that is insane, probably cheating in someone in their bird watching. It might be my mom. Hey, I birds. What? I don't know if she's not cheating. That actually is a funny concept. I wonder if there's ever like a bird watching scandal where it was just clearly somebody used like laptop screen. You know, you know, not to take this back to Nick's team again and

the utter, the abject failure of the spurs here, but, you know, I was watching Game 4 last night. I saw something that I wanted to talk about today that popped into my head and that I realized I looked it up, it's true. There's a guy on the New York Knicks. named Jeremy Sohan, who he played for a little bit last night. Earlier this year, he was a San Antonio Spur, and they traded him at the trade deadline. So that dude is going to win an NBA title no matter what.

He's either winning as a spur or he's winning as a Nick. And I got me wondering, how often has that happened where a guy has gone into a finals, whatever sport, and is guaranteed to be a world champion either way it shakes out? Oh, wow. Yeah, that's pretty unique. because surely that's happened before, right? Probably, yeah, not sure.

That's the way to do it. Get traded to the team that's going to win or lose to the team that traded you. I feel like I saw that in baseball, like in the 2010s, but I don't remember who it was. But man, it's got to mean more to imagine beating the team that got rid of you in the finals to win the championship. I'm sure he would rather be a Nick champion.

than a spur champion, but either way, he's got a ring, you know, yeah. Maybe you can share in Jeremy Sohan's happiness, Nick,

as a former spur. Oh, okay. I can try. He was an alright guy. Hey, Nick, I got a question for you. Yeah.

How come we're not sending pictures of birds to each other? We're both bird boys. Yeah, we got to fix that. We got to get the ball. As best friends,

you would think that that's something you would already be doing. It's definitely a way to enrich our friendship. What would get you into it, Eric? Like, if you had a peacock? No, I used to work at a zoo.

I saw peacocks all the time. I don't give a fuck about these birds, dude. That may be why he's not into it. He's seen way more exotic animals. You ruined it for some. I used to be around guinea fowl and peacocks and then like an ibis and paris. What if it was just different rats and different variations of rats?

Other creatures, like if it was like a squirrel thing or whatever, then it's like, yeah, I just think, I just find birds so uninteresting. What if there was a rat with peacock feathers? So is that what you think a bird is? Or what do you think here? Well, would you be into it? Yeah, would you not?

I would find it terrifying. So Gavin, you would, if you saw, if there was a rat with peacock feathers, you would be like, eh? No, I think that was cool, but I also think a peacock is cool. So it's like, of course I'm going to be impressed by the rat cock. I'd be upset by the rat cock.

This is the closest I could do on Google. I see roadrunners all the time on my street really brag about it in the road do you ever take pictures yeah no coyote nearby with t and t

well there's a coyote and he's painting on a wall and then I'm running right into it I don't know how he's getting through there I never considered seeing a roadrunner in real life what were they called before roads I mean that's a cartoon animal just simply runners I think

runners Roads have been around for a while. Yeah. When was the road invented? Roman's done good roads. 4,000 BC. Yeah, I think we're probably all right. I think we're discovering roadrunners after that.

They've been roadrunners for a while. Yeah. Do you think there was a point where people were naming stuff and there was so much to name that they were like, I will get to that one later? Or do you think everyone named everything like the moment they saw it? No, no, I agree. I think that's probably how Roadrunner came about. Yeah, I think you're probably right.

It seems like it. There it is. It's running. I don't know. Road runner. Okay. What is something that if you encountered, you'd think you would need time to name it? Like, we'll name it later. Oh. Munt Jack.

What's a Munt Jack? I don't know. He's got to figure it out and get back to you. No, wait. I think if I saw an Armadillo for the first time, I would think this is going to take some time. Oh, I think I think I'd call that thing like Turtle Rat. I wouldn't come up with Armadillo ever. Yeah, I think an Armadillo, Armadillo is unique enough that you'd have to name it.

But I think a Munt Jack is like, it kind of looks like a bunch of different shit. I'm not, we'll come back to that one. What the fuck's a Munt Jack? Yeah, it's like a little shit. It's like a little, it's like a weird, it's like a deer-sheepy kind of. Sheep?

Is it a sheep? No, I think it's, I think it's closer. I think it's closer to like a little deer. It looks like a deer. I feel like I saw those in Mass Effect and thought they were fictional. Yeah. their thoughts will have begun appearing about 35 million years ago.

Andrew, you ever seen a roadrunner in real life? No. As I said, to me, that's a fictional animal. They're not made. They're not purple. Yeah. No, I would never identify that as a roadrunner. That's what it is. Do they do anything? Do they exist anywhere near a coyote?

Yeah, what? Absolutely. Coyotes are everywhere. And I see coyotes on my street. Yeah. How do they interact? I don't think they know that. The coyote has dynamite and he puts it in the back of his roller skates and he tries to

he looks at it. He looks at it like that. The road runner runs really, really fast and where I live, there's a bunch of cliffs. He stops just short, but the coyote keeps going and then hangs in the air for just a second. And that's the face he makes the ball falling. First, he has to feel below his legs to make sure he's good at full. Yeah, and that's such an interesting point. I never thought about the fact that cats and dogs have no clue that they

such beef. Yeah. What animals have beef and they don't know it? So many of them don't. Lemmings have no idea that most people think they commit suicide all the time. Yeah. No. That'd be shocking, I bet, for them to learn.

And we do what? Do you think a coyote has ever worn roller skates? In Russia. And maybe was propelled by a giant rocket on a stick? Once again, in Russia. I'm going to search for coyote wearing roller skates. Yeah, it's a lot of the cartoon and not a lot of the real animal. Not a lot.

Yeah, I got some of this. Oh, man. I got a lot of that. I wonder how many animals know what they are. Probably zero. Dolphin maybe? Yeah, like a dolphin or an elephant. See, this is like, you guys made fun of me when I came back from,

uh, from Dallas for my birthday after going to medieval times. And I was like, do you think those horses think that they're in the olden days? And you guys are like, you idiot, horses don't think anything. They don't care, they don't know, it doesn't matter to them. Horses don't have thoughts. Shut up, stupid. And I'm like, no, but it's like olden times. And they're like, they don't give a fuck, you're stupid.

Shut up, Jeff, you idiot, you dumb idiot. What if animals, every animal had a super, super smart animal, right? Like somehow overnight, there's one hyper-intelligent, can-speak languages animal. and they all go to a conference, which animal do you think would be the most shocked to learn the human perception of it? Like sharks?

Do you think sharks would be like, we don't, what's this Jaws bullshit? Like we don't. Maybe a weasel? A weasel's an interesting one. Yeah. I would say like maybe like a raccoon, but I think also raccoons do do all that stuff

so they can't really be against it. I feel like, yeah, The representation of a raccoon is fairly accurate. Yeah. It's interesting to think about who would be the most offended and who would be the most flattered. I feel like the fox would be pretty flattered. I feel like foxes are generally portrayed in positive, cool ways. I bet a skunk would be really fucking offended.

Oh, that gas, right? Would be like, you guys fucking lose your mind over cats, but because I have a stripe and I have a self-defense mechanism, I don't get to be cool with you. You think I'm gross? Yeah, plus, yeah, because they either stink or they're perverts. That's true. Yeah. Like, the skunks over here, like, I may, I may stank a little bit, but at least I'm trying to get down. Because even, like, there's, like, babe is a positive side of a pig.

They're, like, you could claim as an animal. Most animals I can think of have, like, a bad depiction and at least a positive one. skunks are just sort of universally terrible. How many animals do you think have a bad depiction and would embrace it? Like, I know it's spiders and insect not an animal, but I bet if you told the animal, like a spider, the perceptive spider, it'd be like, that's right, bitch, that's right. Don't forget it. I'll fucking crawl in your mouth and bite you on the tongue when you're asleep. A badger?

But badger's good. Porcupine? Yeah? I think hedgehogs would be the most bummed. Yeah, they're not fast. Yeah, but they're not fast. That's true. Sonic is really good.

I think they would be offended at the inaccuracy and kind of bummed out that they can't do that. Yeah. You think we do, huh? We're not fastened. And we're not blue. None of this makes sense. What does Julie dog? I was going to say, like, do they think that?

And then I thought about as a human, I'm bummed. I can't dunk when I see that. You think penguins would be mad that we make fun of their waddle? It'd be like, it's just how I fucking walk. I think penguins would be mad that like they, they kind of, they went through a face. Nobody gives a shit about penguins anymore, but like in the early, 2000, like 2005. No, no, you're right. It was happy feet, happy feet.

And then Mr. Popper's penguins happened and then it was just like fell off a cliff. Happy feet, March of the Penguins, Madagascar. Like, there was a moment for penguins, and it's not now. It's gone. We're done. We're over, dude. I'd love to hang out with a penguin. Is there animals that have, like, like,

like Andrew Uson about people who can dunk real good. Yeah, yeah. I feel like every animal can do everything. Every animal can do everything. What do you mean by that? Like every fox. Every fox. If a fox could do something, I feel like every fox can do it.

Oh, every fox can do what every other fox can. There's no fox that could do something that all the others can't do. But how would we know? Are your cats capable in equal ways? Hmm. Here's my challenge to that. Okay. Going back.

Going back to the fishing thing, every once in a while, you know, like you got average fish, and then you'll see a guy that has like an 80 pound tuna. Like there has to be variants. Wait, who's impressive that? The guy that fished it or the fish? The fish. Oh. The other fish are probably like, whoa, that's a big one of me.

That's crazy. I can never be that big. And the same way that I look at like maybe like shack. I'll never be that big. That's crazy. That's impressive. What do you think the poundage of the largest tuna ever caught was? It's an Atlantic bluefin.

I'll go ahead and let you know the variety. Okay. Those are some... I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. Before you guys continue. Uh-huh. Because I got to start...

I got to clean out my office for the new house, assuming I'm not in jail. Uh, I have vinals to get rid of. So I'm going to give a vinyl to whoever gets closest to the number. It is in pounds. Can we get the average weight of one before we get the maximum? Average weight of a blue fin tuna. I'm going to times it by 15, I think.

The average weight of a bluefin tuna is 550 pounds. Oh, okay. I'm not. That must have been one that topped a ton. I would have been, I would have been under, remarkably under. Yeah, I was thinking like 20 pounds, maybe. 20 pounds? I was going to say 165.

Oh, for Mac. No, I'm saying for average, for average. Oh. Oh. I was fairly close. For maximum, I'm going to say 3,000 pounds. Okay. maximum will say 880.

880 pounds for Eric, 300,000 pounds for Andrew. Nick and Gavin? 1200 for Nick. I'm going to say 1,0002 because that's 501 twice. Nice. Well, that's a good way to lose. Nick, you got the closest.

You're getting a vinyl, my friend. The largest tuna ever caught on a rod and reel is a massive 1,496 pound tuna in 1979 by 187. Ken Frazier. You know what the funniest part about your vinyl is Nick? What's that? You're not going to get it because he's not getting his dream house.

And yeah, I'm already at jail. Nick's one. It's hard. It's good, you know what you can do that? Nick, you can buy it at the auction. Oh, sweet. You can buy it on Julian's auctions from me. I'll reach out to Emily. There it is.

That's your fish right there. Wow. It was 12.6 feet tall. I don't like the ocean, man. I'm not, I don't like. That's just in there. I, dude, the ocean sucks. That's just in there.

That's just in there. And what's crazy about that is if you just walked up to it or swam up to it and took a bite, it'd probably be really good. You know what, though? That's true, Gaff. You know to fish like that tuna, we are the rats in the attic. Yeah. They're probably just as scared of us. I wish, and this isn't a real wish, because I understand that if this actually worked this way, it would be detriment.

There'd be so many dead fish. But whenever an earthquake occurred, I wish it was sort of like a snow globe. and all the stuff at the bottom got pushed to the top for a brief amount of time. So you just got to see some crazy fish. It would be like raining anglerfish? I mean, I think it kind of is. If you're in the water.

Yeah, just like, little angler fish popping up. Assuming that like everything's fine, it doesn't hurt any fish. No, but nothing dies because of this process. Just like from the pure getting to see what's down there because there's some fucking insane stuff down there, that'd be pretty cool. How big is an angler fish?

Oh, that's an interesting. question because in my mind, it's massive, but I think they're small. I feel like you only ever see them when there's no reference to anything that we know the size of. Do you think over under a foot long subway sandwich? Let's say over. It's got to be over, right? I have the answer. I'll say that they vary drastically by species, by subspecies of angler fish.

Oh. I would take the slight under, I think, for the average angler. Under what? A foot, a subway foot. What did? Nothing changed. I forgot the computer comparing it. What the hell?

They range from a few centimeters to more than six feet. Damn. More than six feet. I would die. I would die immediately. You would die from the bites and the ingestion. Well, I would just, I would die. Oh, my God.

I wouldn't want one. as a neighbor. In deep sea species, males tend to exhibit extreme dwarfism. Bidges. They generally measure only 0.2 to 6 inches. Losers. Well, have you, there's the, uh, I think it's the anglerfish where the male, the mating is really weird, where the male eats a hole in the female, in the side of it, and latches on, and then its eyes dissolve. And it sort of becomes a part of the female. And the female just takes sperm from it when it needs it.

So it basically just becomes like a hanging bollock on the side of a female anglerfish. That's crazy. I hate the ocean. I hate the ocean so much. I love it. I hate the ocean more than birds. The biggest angler fish will weigh about 130 pounds. Oh my God.

I think of all the animals, I would be most intimidated by an angler fish moving in as a neighbor. I'd be intimidated by a bear Like a bear No, I wouldn't That's fine Polar Bear Polar Bear would be I would be the scared of stuff

Oh yeah They they It is like with the only Land-based animal That views us as prey right Yeah I think I would be most excited If an orangutan

Moved in next door They're very private They would be great neighbors Adult orangutans Live in silence and solace The thing about a polar bear though Is I feel like I know What's going on in there

Where the angler fish I don't know I don't know what's happening in there. But it wouldn't be able to do anything. No, I'm saying like, imagine like a Bojack Horseman, like scenario. I don't know what scenario that is. It's like an animal that can like walk around and like that stuff.

Okay. I haven't seen it either, but like I've at least seen photos. Right, no, I haven't seen it, but I get what you're kind of like laying down here. Like, I'm with you. I'm with you. I just, I don't, I don't know. Is the angler fish in therapy? Isn't that a big part of Bojack horsemen? Yeah, that sounds right.

Yeah, sure. Maybe the anglerfish is the therapist. If a polar bear was on its hind legs and like roaring up at the sky before it was going to attack you, could you kick it in the bollocks or are they like too far on the back? No, absolutely. No, no way. I'd give it a Coke. Why no way?

I just, I feel like it would be pointless. I just don't know of an animal that would react the same way as a human if you naged it. If you kick the dog in the balls, you don't think the dog would go down. Well, a dog's quite small, isn't it? You know what? I've seen a clip of like a bear getting hit in the balls and it like takes the bear out. So maybe that would work.

Was that an advert for salmon? Can you stop an animal by kicking it in the balls? It's not a reliable or recommended way to stop an animal attack. Okay, maybe don't do it. Last, last defense. Well, I think a lot of animal testicles are on the inside, aren't they?

Well, they're like more tucked up than a human. Yeah, that's why I went with dogs. dog. A dog, you can't have see the bollocks. Right, which is why I used it as an example. We're going to end this episode because Gavin is not okay. Nick, am I not making sense or what's happening?

No, it was a through line. That was the through line. Are you coming from the back? What? Anywhere! The scenario you put up is the animal is on its hind legs. Yeah, but doesn't a dog have really backward bollocks? What?

Albert, get here. Albert. Grab them, Jeff. Grab him and squeeze them. Albert doesn't have balls anymore. I want pin the balls on the animal with Gavin, and I just want to know where he thinks the balls are. That can be your show, I guess.

Oh, the Nick and Gavin show? He's pin the balls on the animal. I guess they are where mine would be if I was on walking on all fours. I just feel like animal bollocks are like super behind them. Hold on a second. You be on all fours that I don't think is relevant. to the point are the testicles. I just felt like I answered the question.

Your balls don't change body position based on how you're standing. Oh my God. The number one answer, the number one result when I searched for where are the testicles on a polar bear are from live science.com study polar bear genitals are shrinking. Oh no. The ice cap may not be the only thing shrinking in the Arctic. The polar bears are greenland.

That's just for the headline. They just know that for the headline. It's because of industrial pollutants that shrink in their balls. So it's kind of like... It's like Coke they've been drinking. Yeah, it's kind of like, I guess, bear steroids, right? It's like sort of the Jose Canseco thing.

Baro thing. Baroids. That's great, Eric. Yep. All right, wrap this up. This is... I hope you enjoyed your last episode as a free man, Jeff. Look at that.

I see you guys a picture of a polar bear laughing at another bear's dick. What's it? Why is it doing that? I don't know. That's very funny, though. That's a real funner. It's the same position when I stay. I think it would be

harder to kick me in the balls if I was on all fours. But that's not, doesn't matter. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a shit. I don't fucking care. You're a maniac. This is two hours with you is maybe too much. You're nuts.

You're just, you're starting to sound like Andrew. I can't do this. What? Just for the record, too, the polar bear's testicles are on the inside. They're deep inside its body cavity because of the extreme cold. That makes sense. Yeah, that checks out. That checks out.

Where are your testicles? Have you seen them lately? Got to keep an eye on them. You don't want them running away. Hey, thanks for listening. Kevin doesn't cartwheel because he's worried they'd end up on his face. Somebody else ended. I got to go to jail.

They're going to jail. Bye. That's your ending? Oh my God. Thank you for listening to another episode of the regulation podcast. This has been episode 112. Please like and rate and review on whatever app you're listening to this podcast on. Tell a friend.

And go ahead and sign up for the fucking Patreon if you want to. My legal defense fund needs it. We'll see you next week. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye.