Regulation Podcast - Natural Skin Grip // Geoff's Million Dollar Gauntlet [107]

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Andrew's bed situation, Phil Collins, shirtless, emergency alert, This is a Gardening Show, population, island on an island, PB&J, PB in J, dip foods, corn counts, whiffs, raw bacon, Million Dollars But, Temu, Zawrt, TV, motorcyle, shedding, outside, security verification, Doom Guy keyboard, snip, favorites, Vine, dead internet, Severance keyboard, Super Hand Adventure, and Nick's Prison Milk. Sponsored by Factor. Thanks Factor! Head to FACTORMEALS.com/REGULATION50OFF and use code REGULATION50OFF to get 50% off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. (See website for more details). Also sponsored by Shopify. Sign up for a $1/month trial at shopify.com/regulation Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is number 106. My name is Jeff with me as always. Eric, Andrew, Nick Gavin. We're all on a first name basis. Hello. Hello. I like to go by Dilly personally.

Not D. Pop. I'll take any variation of it. I'm a Dilly guy personally. I like the bar. I like ice cream. I like soft serve. It's not soft serve, but I'll take it. What about Val Dilma?

Oh, Val Dilmer? Sure. I like Top Gun. Would you say soft serve is your favorite kind of serve? No, I prefer ACEs. What's hard serve? I guess that'd be an ace. Yeah. I guess like a, can you say, I was, you know what?

When it comes to serving, I was a slicing guy. I like to slice it. Oh, you like to slice up the streets, slice up the cakes? I'll keep the streets unslice. but I slice up the court. Oh. Take that established tennis organizations. I'm worried for you, Andrew.

Why? After the last episode, you are too, I think you're too quick to say you're a guy of something. And I think that you proved that you don't know what kind of guy you are like most of the time. No, I love to slice it. You ever slice a serve?

I'm just saying that you've already said that you're two different guys in this episode, and we've been recording for like two minutes. I take that as just Andrew being a man who knows exactly who he is. But that's not true because we tested him against what he was on the regulation. No, I aced it. I aced it. I was wrong when the machine was wrong. The machine was wrong.

No, you talked about being a big cans guy. I don't know, Andrew. I don't know. I worry for you. I just think that you're playing fast and loose with being a guy guy. What was the last time you sliced a serve, Eric? I haven't played like a virtual tennis game in probably like a decade, so probably a decade. I didn't even think about virtually.

You don't get the, you need to do it physically. You need a physical slice. Got to feel that. When did you last do it, Andrew? Probably, oh, good question. How old am I? I'm probably like, probably like 13 years ago was my last serve. I don't think that like I think if we paid you money and bet that you like tried to like intentionally slice a ball, I don't think you can do it.

Oh, absolutely good. It's not hard. All right. Here's what we're going to do. We're all going to go up to Nanaimo. We're going to find a tennis court and we're going to have a slice off and we're going to see who the best slicer is. It's not. I mean, I don't want to make a competition.

And I just said I enjoy you. I want to see everybody slice. Very American of you. Can we eat slices of pizza? Oh, slices of pizza are a good slice. But can you be a slice guy if you haven't sliced in 13 years? Yeah. That's what I'm saying, man.

Absolutely. I don't know. I'd consider you a red versus blue guy and you haven't directed a season in like 15 years. You consider Gavin a red versus blue guy? Absolutely. If anyone, do you not? I totally. agree with you there. Andrew. You're such a red versus blue guy. You travel to different countries.

Here's another one. You're one of like eight people to ever direct red versus blue. It's a pretty exclusive club. You've directed more red versus blue than I ever did. I directed one episode. You're a testicular torsion guy, but I wouldn't say you've done that in 13 years. Yeah, I think I'm wrong here. I think I'm wrong. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're right. You're right. Don't listen to these other guys. Don't listen to these other guys. Don't. They're faulty logic.

They shouldn't. No, no, no, no. Because testicular torsion isn't a thing that is as common as slicing a tennis ball, a thing he has chosen not to do for a generation. I just haven't had a racket. But like, if I had a racket, I'd be slicing off my balcony every morning. I don't, what? Are you talking?

Just buy a racket right now. That slice a, slice a ball out there. There are dogs walking around and stuff sometimes. They'll enjoy a ball. Just. just hitting tennis balls at dogs from a height. I wouldn't be aiming at the dogs. I'd be aiming in an empty space for the dogs to enjoy later.

I don't think you could put the ball where you wanted to aim it, is what I'm saying. Like, you want to slice a ball. I don't think you could slice it. And I just don't think you can do it. My point, my, my, my wanting to aim it is, is just, uh, is anywhere. I wasn't, I wasn't claiming accuracy. I think the owner would be quite confused, though,

when you were like, oh, I'm going to serve up this ball. The dog's going to go so far. you deliberately slice it? Uh, well, the joy of the slice, why am I? Well, I would confuse the dog, yeah, because the whole point of the slice is it changes direction. Are you mainly slicing for, for, uh, like, back spin? Or left and right or like, I'm not a spin guy, I don't know. I'm just, uh, you, you slice it. You slice it like a, like a knife.

I mean, isn't the spin the result of the slice? Isn't that how the slice? works? Yeah. Yeah. I just, you know, I'm not a slice. Yeah, but I'm not a slice scientist. I don't know what direction is spinning. I just hit the ball. Well, if you slice under it, isn't it? It's going to spin back towards you. So, so when you serve up a slice, it's just as much of a surprise to you as it is to the person receiving it. Yeah, absolutely. I know that ball's going to do something crazy. That's for them to deal with, not me. That's the point of the slice. I'm not slicing myself. I would do that. That's craziness. You sound like, I bet you'd be a knuckleballer in baseball.

Oh, yeah. I don't know how to do that. The name kind of scares me. Andrew, when you serve, when you serve in tennis, and you hit the net and you get like a fault, double fault. Do you do it all the time? Do you do a gent?

Do you do a gentle second serve or do you still go like, oh, the gentle, the baby, the second serve. If I mess up my first serve, which is a 98% chance I'm going to mess up that first serve, you're going to get the easiest little smashing that you could have imagine on that second serve. That's when you get the soft serve. That's a full circle. I am a soft serve on the second serve. How would you hard serve ice cream, though?

Hard serve ice cream straight out of the freezer. Well, I mean, isn't that just, it's just a scoop of ice cream. It's not like, like, for like, you know, like soft serve out of like a machine, right? I was thinking about it. I think it would have to be a scoop of ice cream dunked in liquid nitrogen. So, okay, so what is... Isn't that astronaut ice cream? So what is just a scoop of ice cream? So what is just a scoop of ice cream? cream. Is this a serve? I think hard serve is serving it to somebody in a container with no like utensils.

Yeah, to me as a hard serve is when you have an ice cream scoop and you got to like put all your fucking weight down to get the most frozen ass piece of ice cream out and then go, fuck this. I'll just wait 10 minutes. I think it's like you got to lick it out of the container because there's no. What? What? What?

A hard serve to me because to me a hard serve. If you put it in a cone, it's no longer. hard surf. It's easy. That's easy mode. If you give somebody a container of ice cream that's too hard, or it's like incredibly difficult to scoop out and you don't give them a spoon and they have to like eat it out of the thing,

that would be hard serve. Like if their hands were tied behind their back too. If I gave you a frozen piece of ice cream that was an exact mold of your esophagus. Do you think you'd be able to just push it straight down? No. Just no enjoyment.

No. Take all. all the fun out of ice cream, just suck it straight down. Wait, what flavor? It doesn't matter. You're not going to taste it. It's going straight to your stomach. Matters to me, damn it.

You'd get a little bit of it. I don't think you could put something that of that size in your esophagus without grazing the tongue. I'm going to try. Rocky Road. No, I don't want a rocky road. Yeah, it'd be rough.

be a rocking road catch an edge on the way down slice your throat up is that a joe wulf song slice your throat up no rocky mountain way oh okay rocky mountain way

that's different they don't have an ice cream called that this is off to a weird start I gotta say this is not how I saw it going this one man not how I saw it going this one talking about my slicing you guys are challenging my slicing

if I could I do think I would serve every day. You can. You could do anything every day. I'm like, as part of a wake-up routine, I would like, because, you know, you live in an apartment, whatever.

You have to share the space with people. If I had my own area, just be slamming tennis balls. But you could just walk outside, slam a tennis ball into the side of the building, and then just come back in. No, but the joy, the joy to me is like hitting a home run. And they don't go retrieve their own home run. if you don't call a little park nearby

there's something you know in the same way that like you wake up and you brush your teeth like waking up opening a door and just pelting a ball and then just going about your day not thinking about that ball for the rest of the day would bring me a lot of joy having a daily travel a little bit won't go out you could easily achieve this

it just no no you're not understanding what I'm saying I could you're right I could do that but that's a different than what I'm saying. Then just waking up, twatting a ball, go brush your teeth. Yeah, and then just not thinking about it for the rest of the... Just hitting a tennis ball as hard as you can to get it to go as far as you can possibly get it? What if we put you on your wall, a tennis ball on a big spring? Like, oh, imagine like a bike suspension.

No. Right? It needs to fly. What if it just had a really, really, really, really long string tied to it? I can't come back. It can't be the same ball. I need a new ball every day. I want to wake up essentially in a top golf and just like annihilate it.

And then go about my day. Sounds like you just want a roof deck and some people who won't report you. It needs to be safe for the people. I don't want to be hitting people. You keep saying need for everything. Everything that you've laid out here is a need, not a want. And it's like making me nuts. What do you mean?

It needs. It needs to not. come back. I need a new ball every day and everyone needs to be saved. Yeah, there's no half measures in this fantasy. I'm telling you exactly what I would need to fully get the joy of this fantasy.

I have to have an acceptable narrative. Thank God it's not a half measured fantasy. No. I tried to count sheep the other night. Disaster. First time I've tried to do it. Couldn't do it. Why did you get lost? How did you mean you couldn't do it? No, I just, I went through for how my brain worked.

I need to buy into it and I'm like, okay, this is, first of all, why are there so many sheep hopping this fence? Two, can sheep hop the fence? Why am I observing this fence? Do they have to have a fence? I don't know, in my head whenever I think about it being presented, so I was like a sheep hopping over a fence. Oh, the concept of counting sheep. I thought they were just walking by. Yeah.

Oh, no, I picture, I picture them like jumping over like a little, bush. I just picture like a little bush. I never thought about like a fence. I always think I'm going through a open gate. Oh, you're right into a pin. Oh, I never thought about them just walking. Like counting him on the way in. But see, the problem becomes like where were they before? See, when I

think of jumping, I think of the cow jumping over the moon, but I don't necessarily think of sheep jumping over. Yeah. Oh, I think about it all the time. Like, how did he get up there? How did he get up there? The point is, I need, I'm not a half measure guy. I need to have a scenario that I've

created that makes sense. So even if the ball on a spring gave you 65% of the enjoyment, you wouldn't be into it. Well, you're just describing as a paddle ball. You go, bubub, bu, bu, bu, bu, but it's on the string.

Well, yeah. It's on a spring, though. I don't like it. Well, if he doesn't want a half measure, he doesn't want a 65% measure either. How long is the string? How far can it go? further than you can hit a ball

a mile a lot of string to have to carry probably a heavy amount of string I could be you know what let me let me tell you how I'm on board let me add some fun to the string idea if you could connect it to a fishing rod

and that's how I pulled it in I'm on board that sounds fun so there's okay my spring became string at one point I don't know how the spring would work how would I spring it back

a ball on a spring ball on a spring Boy owing But how do I get it back from that It's always on the end of the spring It boi-o-o-o-o-o-ins back Nick can I get that isolated audio I see I see okay so it's like a giant spring

Imagine like a giant doorstop Oh That's kind of cool I don't know how that would Yeah but I don't know how that would work I don't think that would work It'd be dangerous right Because it would have to

Would have to loop around That's where he draws the line I don't think this would work I'm trying to imagine It's so crazy to him I can imagine having a balcony That went that was like into nothing And a raw

And not a well I guess a rod possibly Depending on the string idea But a racket and then just having a bunch of tennis balls. That all seems very viable. Would you say a tennis racket is your preferred way to hit a ball? Oh, yeah, I think so.

Because you could do paddle, you could do golf club, you could do baseball bat. There's a lot of different ways to interact with a ball. There are so many ways, yeah. Yeah, I'd say tennis. Tennis is a lot of fun.

Because you could get, you could really get some distance on that thing and it makes a fomp noise that's pretty satisfying. And it's also really easy to do. because it's such a large surface area. It is pretty cool when you hit the sweet spot. Oh, yeah.

Just unload on that thing. I think you should get back out there and see how far you could hit a tennis ball. Yeah? I mean, it's not a thing I've never, like I've ever measured before. How hard do you think you could hit one? I don't know, like an average speed,

a regulation speed, I guess, whatever. We're talking to like how fast the, ball is going or how fast my swing rotation is? How fast the ball's going? I don't know what the average person's tennis speed is. Probably very human is what I would describe the speed as.

Average person's around 60 to 75 miles an hour. So people could throw a baseball faster than someone could twat a tennis ball? That's crazy to me. Could be the dynamics. It could be the dynamics. If you had a longer tennis racket, would

it go faster? I mean, you can only barely hit a baseball faster than you can throw one. Like the fastest baseball thrown is like about 104, right? Eric. Yeah, it's like 104 or 105, yeah. And you can hit, like if you hit a baseball 112 miles an hour, you've knocked the shit out of it. And you've only added six miles an hour to its speed.

Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. I want to know why we asked how fast the ball could go that he could hit it. And he said, do you want to know? know my swing speed. And I don't know why you would want to know your swing speed. That doesn't answer. That wouldn't answer the question, I think, at all.

Well, he said how, how, how, how, how, said something about how blank can you this. How blank can you this is the title of the episode? Thank you. I would love that to be one of our shows. Oh my God. The, that's, dude, what a, oh, this is so good. Episode one is getting an achievement in limbo. How blink can you this is like, how far can you throw a football?

How, like, oh, this is so good. Yeah, this is such a good idea. How blank can you this? Oh, my God. Put that in the bit barrel. I'm writing it down. I'm writing down how blank can you this on our idea sheet. Speaking of how blank, the fastest serve ever recorded professional tennis was 16.

3.7 miles an hour. Oh, let's see if that makes more sense. That's fucking crazy. Is that the fastest ball? I don't know. Like, what sport has a faster ball than 160 miles an hour? Fast as a pool ball, gal.

Golf? Maybe golf. What sport produces the fastest ball speed? High lie. Generally recognizes the sport with the fastest ball speed. Pellets reaching speeds of 190 miles an hour.

Yeah, people get like, people get like crushed by those things. That really puts that jackass bid into perspective. It sure does. I mean, they were shooting, I think, on some, like, old, on video cameras. And you couldn't even see the ball in some of those frames on that episode. I can't even imagine. Oh.

They, like, those guys get messed up. And it's just, and it's not anything other than huge welts. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, here's the biggest bruise and the biggest waltz you're going to have. That's it. That's what I'm worried about when I show. the ball off the balcony. I don't want to cause that on anybody.

How blank can you this? What was the name of the show? How blank can you this? Yeah, I mean, you got it right. You got it right. You just added a question mark at the end of it. How big can you welt could be episode one. Oh, God.

Oh, why would we do that? It could be like maybe an FBI investigative show. Somebody gets welted up. and you have to guess what caused it of a variety of options? Yeah, you have like, there's four options on a table you have to match the item to the welt.

I guess this isn't that, but this popped into my head and I'm sure it's been explored. If you're a runner, maybe like a short distance runner and you're like you're sprinting like as hard as you can, if you fart, do you go faster or no?

No. Absolutely not. You don't think so? What if it was like a really, like what if it's like a like a big, fart. You don't think that makes you go faster? It would make you lighter. Maybe like the most

infinitesimally small percentage. Damn. Do you think when like a thousandth of a percent faster maybe? Yeah, but what if you farted one thousand times? Yeah. What I'd like to know from people

that run I don't know, is competitively? Is that a thing? Or marathon? Like I know. Or just run at all because nobody this is. Like marathons are competitive, but I feel like it's all about self-challenge, more so than general speed. I don't know. It's not my world.

But I would like to know if, like, you fart in a race, does it feel like you're throwing like a shell behind you? And that's where my brain is. That's great. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's maybe the only legal attack. I think it's pretty, like, reasonably normal to shit yourself for it in a marathon.

Yeah. Sometimes people just pop a sky. go out and shit and keep going. Yeah. Pissing that. There was that video recently of that lady that was like, please don't film me from behind. I just shit my pants.

It was all over TikTok a couple months ago. Yeah. If I had an infinite amount of fart in me and I could just two indefinitely and I was in space, if I just turned on the fart and just propelled myself with fart, do you think eventually I could

reach near the speed of light? It's not where I was imagining I was imagining George Clooney and gravity thrusting around but it's farts instead of I mean you have unlimited farts

right? Yeah and as long as you don't collide with anything you're not going to slow down you'll just increase your speed each fart yeah I think I would just

if I'm if I'm accelerating constantly I'm surely gonna start like dilating time you could fart your way to light speed. I don't think you could ever reach light speed, but you can get infinitely closer to it.

I guess it all just depends on your farts. Yeah, if you have a really big one when you're right next to it. But I don't, how would they escape your suit? You would just be stinking up your suit. That'd be like a porthole, like a valve. Yeah? That makes sense. Yeah, math checks out.

Science. The science just works. Yeah, the math. checks out. How did you get the space? Face it. I meant conversationally, not in this scenario. I think you were talking about fart propulsion. Oh, yeah.

Talk about, like, do you run faster with a fart? And I thought, let's get gravity and air and air resistance and friction out of this. Let's see what we can do. If somebody was trying to sell me on a sport saying it's not, uncommon to have to shit in the middle of it while you're doing it is is like so not appealing to me that might be number one I'm not interested list you have to you have to you have to rephrase that a little bit you what help if somebody was like hey you should get into running sometimes you have to shit in the middle of

it while you're doing it and it's just part of the experience I'm out well might be my number one I'm out that's how you think people sell you on something? No, I'm just saying that that's a core part of the sport if that's like, sounds like, hey. That's a core part of the sport. Jeff said it's not, not irregular. Uncommon, not irregular.

For a marathon, sure. And for super marathons. Yeah, I think ultramarathists, you'd go like 200 miles or something. Yeah. I just don't think there's any way that anyone could sell me on any part of a marathon. But you decided,

how about this? I got one. I read an article about a guy, who ran ultra marathons. And in the article, the interview was, the interviewer asked, how do you maintain caloric intake? Like there aren't enough gels in the world for that. And he said, I figured out a long time ago, the secret is to ordering pizza to mile markers ahead of me. And then when I get to that mile marker, I time it so that the pizza arrives. And then I just will get like a large pepperoni pizza and fold it up like a taco and just eat

it while I run. So you can't, like, you can't put enough food in you to handle the calories you're burning so you can eat anything while you're running to be awesome. I'd just be chowing down on steak. This is a food cube scenario in my opinion. I feel like a pizza's going to give you mad heartburn. Yeah, dude. It takes a while for the heartburn. I think this is time for a hard serve ice cream. No spoon, no problem. Just lick it up from a bold dog style apparently. Yeah. a cow lick in front of you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do we keep getting back to cowlicks?

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your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash regulation. Go to Shopify.com slash regulation. Is there any distinct thing you think of when you think of a cow lick? my hair yeah you go hair I have cow licks on my hair what about you get like what do I think of

yeah is there like a specific image so like a salt like yeah yeah when somebody brings up a salt lake is there does your brain always go to a specific place probably a cow tongue

that's fair he he doesn't see or say anything in his head so it's true It's probably just the sound of wind in a dark void. He's like moving like a wolf, so maybe he just thinks prey, but that's tough. I can see it in my head.

I just can't hear anything. Got a mute head. Season one episode two, I think, in the Walking Dead game. Maybe it's three where Larry's head gets crushed by a salt lick. It's where my brain goes every time. Oh, God. Ever I think salt lick, I think of a salt lake getting drunk. No, the game.

The tell tell game. I don't remember that. You don't remember that? In like a fridge and one of them was like, oh, having a heart attack. And they're like, we gotta help him. And then someone's like, he might die and turn two zombies.

So they just drop a salt lick on his head. Oh, yeah, that kind of rings a bell. Yeah. You know how when you peel, you can peel an orange in one go in like one continuous strip? Yeah. Wouldn't it be cool?

if it was edible, like the bit you peel. But then I thought, if you turned a pizza into a long strip, how long would it be? You should strip a pizza. Let's strip a pizza and see. Yeah, like if I spiral, if I used a pizza cutter and spiral cut a pizza all the way to the center, it's got to be pretty long. Six feet, probably like five feet long, four feet long.

Yeah, like, am I taller than a pizza? Yeah, how spiral cut can you pizza? That could be episode one of the show. Oh, I like that. And what do we think? Like an inch wide strip? Yeah. Yeah.

Like as wide as the crust. Also, if the peel of an orange is edible, why would you peel it? Good point. Nobody peels a pear. They just eat it. That's a disappointment in it, isn't it? Well, you might peel it to make the fun elephant you can make. And you peel an orange.

What? You can do an elephant with the peel. You can shape a... Is that not universal? Could you show us? No, I don't have an orange. I'm out of oranges. You always have oranges.

No, I had oranges for like a week and it was bad. I learned a pound of Mandarin oranges a day. It was too many. What? Yeah, it's too many. Too many. I accidentally ended up with four pounds of oranges and I ended up eating them across four days. Because I was playing Arc Raiders.

A pound a day. Well, it's because you just, you, a Mandarin orange is infinitely edible. It's like the peeling is like the most. You can just devour a manor and orange. They're small. Do you think that was the furthest away from scurvy you ever were? Oh, maybe. How far from scurvy?

Maybe. It's wild because I have gout and I had a flare up. And so, like, I got to eat cherries because that helps it. And then, like, oranges also help. So, like, yeah, I was so scurvyed away. You said, you told me it was root beer that did you in? Uh. We disarmine the.

you're gonna, I'm gonna take all the root beer bullets and you're gonna take all the taco bullets for me. Yeah, it was something, it was like a meat of some kind too. It was like brisket in a root beer. I had a Jeff Lake experience where I was on the fence where sometimes like my gout flare up. It's like, okay, this is either a low ankle integrity scenario or this is gout showing up. And I decided to roll the dice and I made the wrong choice. And it was bad. And so I had to, I think the root beer's being unfairly maligned. like what you're saying sounds like the root beer

just happened to be there and I don't know that it caught did it like cause the problem oh it pushed it over the edge for sure it was his taco thing you're saying it was actually

nuggets not the root beer no it was both I think it was a combination of both both are not good for gout what's the worst what's the worst for gout like red meat yeah it's like red meat

uh root beer apparently Wait, wait, wait, wait. So you thought you either have like a twisted ankle or it's gout and you rolled the dice on it. It's probably just, I hurt my ankle. Yeah. I really wanted the Nuggies and Rupier that evening. Why take the risk?

That's insane. It's not any less insane than Jeff in the tacos. He's not wrong. Are you back on tacos? Mine was hubris. Dude, I had two tacos. this morning. I'm 100% normal on food. I'm not 100% normal on shitting, but I'm

eating normal. Anyway, pound of oranges a day, not good. I would love to see my meters, though. Like, I would love to see a scurvy meter. Oh. And, like, see where the needle is. And, like, what's the closest I've come to scurvy? And was it more than, like, 50% of the way?

Gavin, do you think that your life would be improved a lot if you had meters that were, like, fully visible to you? Yeah, I'm a huge data guy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This sounds like you.

It sounds like something you would want. Like I always, I've always said, I wanted the toilet seat the weighs you so I could get my shit stats. But I've never done anything to implement it. I assume it would be relatively simple in this day and age. Yeah, I don't think that'd be hard. I think it'd be easy to pull off. You want to try it? Nah.

I was actually just thinking my head how I would accomplish this and I have no idea. You need a seat and then you need to scale. Yeah, and you probably have a scale that also is under your feet. Would you, if you could have a meter for anything on your body, would it be like a goutometer? Or would it be something different? Like something like... Gautometer is fun. No, yeah.

When you have a flare up, no, because when you have, here's the thing about gout, when you have a flare-up, it is devastating. painfully painful. It's terrible. But I also find it weirdly fascinating because of what the body is doing. It's like you have to... It becomes an interesting thing to fix because you have to pee it out, essentially. Oh, really? Comes out of your piss? You're trying to essentially drain your body of uric acid to reduce. Ah. It is interesting where everything's end point is. Like, I think when you lose weight, it comes out as breath. breathe your weight out. And I think when you get a tattoo removed, it

like goes into your kidneys and stuff. It's weird that everything has like a different point of exit. Interesting. Would you pick just one point of exit if you could? Like a bird, like a cloaca kind of situation. Like a one and done?

Yeah. I don't know. I think it'd be weird to shit tattoos out. Now when you say that, It's just, it's like, it's like the dye leaving, right? It's not the tattoo transferring. That's how it exits. No, yeah, it doesn't cut.

Like, if you get, if Jeff got his nose removed, he wouldn't have a nose. He wouldn't have a nose on his kidney and then his tears. Yeah, what other points, what other exit points are there? Ears. Tears, nose, mouth, right? Yeah. I think ear only does waxer, don't it? I think it does.

Or anything else can do that. Yeah. The skin in your ear, I think, is like a conveyor belt. It's like, instead of growing outwards, like the rest of your skin, it grows like alongwards. It's like a, like the fingernail of skin. Fingernail of skin. You were talking a second ago about data points, which reminded me that I had prepared

something the other day that I was going to show you guys. And so I went to grab it and I realized I had taken a screenshot and it, it didn't turn out well. And I wanted to share it with you. I hadn't looked at it since I had taken it. But I'm, I wanted, I was curious to know how much time I spend a day doing certain kinds of entertainment like television, TikTok, listen to the podcast. And so I recorded all of my entertainment for a day and made a pie chart. And I thought it'd be fun.

We could all share our pie charts and see where we, and this is how my pie chart, I just went to grab it and that's how it's fair to that. Jeff. Jeff. Well, what happened? Jeff, Jeff. Jeff. If you're listening to this, Jeff's, I think Jeff's pie chart's been run over sideways, so it's

tall and not why. It's like one by 11. Imagine seven iPhones stacked on top of each other. I have no idea how that happened. I made a different one because that didn't work. If somebody took a photo of a pie chart by taking a photo of a stop sign at the side of it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Don't explain this to us.

I mean, this, this is already a ridiculous picture. Don't explain it to us. Don't explain it. This is Andrew levels of decisions, but I don't think it is. But I'd love to know, I'd love to know what you have, what you're taking an issue with. Okay, I want to, I know I want to ask, but I want to ask Nick, music is two. and what do you think that too is? I thought hours in this instance.

You think so? You think he consumes two hours of music, two hours of podcast, 0.75 hours of TV, and half an hour of TikTok. Maybe on this particular day. It's not his whole day. He didn't spend his whole day doing all this stuff. Gavin, do you think this is in hours? It's got to be hours, but writing 0.75 of an hour is madness.

It's fucking crazy. 405 minutes is let me know when I can come in not not yet not yet I will I just have a question of what is this supposed to display exactly wait what do you mean I want to know what I'm looking at I want to make you before I get critical of this pie chart I want to make sure what do you think you're looking at go why did you explain it zero video games which is just insane as somebody who streams like three hours well I can explain that whenever all right Hang on, and Jeff, we don't need you yet. You can relax. You can wait.

We're trying to get this out of Andrew. I would say while you're creating entertainment, you're not consuming it, which would assume be why it's not on this pie chart. I don't know if I disagree. I don't know if I agree with that. That doesn't feel right. Do you think, okay, I can't ask him questions yet. Yeah, not yet.

No, no, I'm pulling my number. I'm going to stand at the back of the line. Okay. The colors are really sort of surprising to me also. Default colors. Okay, I wasn't asking you, Jeff. Thank you. Okay, just saying, I didn't pick colors.

No, no, I understand. What colors would you have liked to have seen? To me, more of like muted tones. I just think teal with yellow, green, and orange was weird. Orange, I think is really throwing me. If like, if it was red, I think it would be a little bit more digestible. I'd say that's more of a cyan than a teal. I can see that.

I can see cyan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I believe we can open the floor up to Jeff. If anyone has Jeff questions, go ahead. I mean, I could just say out the gate, you guys nailed it and got everything correctly. Nick fucking completely nailed it. I listened to, this is yesterday. And here's why I did that, because I sat down to do the percentages.

And I was like, well, I don't really know what 45 minutes is as a percentage of five and a half total hours or whatever. So I just put two for two hours for music, because I rode my bike and listened to music for two hours yesterday. And then I was working on some stuff. And while I was working on it, I listened to a podcast for about two hours. And then in bed last night, I TikTok for about 30 minutes. And then before that, I watched about 45 minutes of a basketball game that I turned off because it was boring. So that's the total amount of entertainment I consumed yesterday as broken down in a pie chart by percentage. Now, I absolutely played video games, but Gavin 100% nailed it.

I don't consider that to be entertainment because I was on the clock doing my job. Interesting. I just don't. So you don't consider Twitch streaming entertainment? I know you didn't necessarily do that yet. Okay. No.

And I did do that yesterday. And then I went to the office and Gavin and I filmed a video together for about two hours. And I don't count that either. Is there a T-shirt to look forward to from that or what? No, no, no merch. Thank you.

Just great content. I thought that when I watch you, Twitch stream was for the love of the game. I didn't know you're clocking in, both in your simulator life. As I tell everybody when they log into my Twitch, every morning, I go, thank you for helping me pay for my daughter's college. I really appreciate it. That's why I'm streaming.

I don't believe that. I'm pretty up front of us. I've seen how, I've seen the joy in your eye when you restock the shelf. I love to do it. Don't get me wrong. I like my job, but my job's still a job. You know, I'm not, that's not how I unwind by doing my job. I'm thinking about, like, how you consume entertainment.

in a relaxing manner to distract you when you're not working. So I just, I was interested to know yesterday. I thought like, I wonder how much I'm going to consume throughout the course of my day. I should mark it and write it down. And I'm sad to say there's no books on here, right?

There's no movies. I didn't, I didn't really enrich myself in any way other than listening to a podcast about Twin Peaks and listen to good music. You know, the basketball game was ultimately boring and, you know,

TikTok is a waste of time. But I wish I could say that I read a couple hundred pages of a book. But now that's, That's how I entertained myself yesterday when I wasn't working. And I would just be similarly interested to see a slice of y'all's life at some point. And you definitely count listening while working out or exercising? Yeah, I was. The exercising for me is as much about, like honestly, most of what I was doing when I was

exercising was coming up with ideas for this podcast, which I have, maybe we'll do the next video and the next episode. But I still consider that to be leisure. Like, I'm having more fun than I'm trying, working out. You know. Well, what if we all go for a month, but all track a different set of stats? Oh. Oh, every.

And then everyone brings their different pie chart for different things. And we don't even necessarily tell each other what we're tracking. Yeah. Interesting. I like this. This is interesting. We'll just come back with pies in a month. Okay.

So it has to be a pie chart. I think it has to be a month pie. And we have to come up with our own tracking? What do you mean? What? Yeah. We're picking our own activities then that we're tracking. Yeah, like what Jeff's done here, but you could, instead of entertainment, you could do something different.

Okay. Should it, should it be, I'm trying to determine how uniform this should be. Like, are we all doing like four things? Could it be as many as you want? I think it's, the pool is unlimited, but it has to be like the genre. I agree with Gavin. Yeah. I've got mine.

I'll have to think about mine. Yeah, I'm also going to have to think about it. It's actually ties in perfectly to a note I had where there's a commercial. I see a lot, where they just throw out, like, random how many times you do certain things a day as, like, averages. And I feel like it's bullshit. And one of them is six jokes a day. And I keep meaning to track jokes told per day for me, but I keep forgetting.

So I want to bring up on the show to hope that that way, if we all tracked our jokes, to then come back with a number. Six just feels incredibly specific. But then it becomes the thing like, what is a joke? Keep going. Because I'm not, I rarely, I rarely would tell like a structured joke, like a not-knock joke. But is like any attempt at trying to make somebody laugh a joke? Yeah, I think so.

I think in the spirit of this it is. Okay. I want to throw that out there. Well, if you just say something, get a funny voice and it makes someone laugh, that's not really a joke, is it? Well, is the voice intentional? Fucking, what's Jim Carrey supposed to do? I don't think that's kind of most of this podcast it feels like. I think intentionality matters, right?

Like if you just have any voice, it makes somebody laugh and that's not telling a joke, but... But if you're using that voice to command laughter out of somebody. Yeah. I think that's a joke. What's your goofiest voice, Gavin? I wonder if I could pluck that from an old video somewhere. I don't know, but what you just did is pretty good.

That stewarder. Errol talking. What's the last time you dipped into one of us? People said I dipped into Aero recently, but I can't remember what it was for. I did see those comments. What was that? That was on the last podcast, I think. It could be.

I just saw people talk about it. It made me wonder. I like that we've got an audience that knows me well enough to know when I'm dipping into Errol. More than my own brain. Do you ever dip into Arol or Stewart or anybody in your own time? Well, I dipped it to Stuart in front of Eric like a year or two ago. Yeah, he did.

No, no, but that's... I'm not asking like when the last time he did it in this case. I'm wondering if you've ever just done it for you. Have I ever done it for me? I don't think I do a lot for me in that regard. So you do it for other people. Would you count it as a joke? Is that going to be one of the jokes that you tell?

Yeah, I think Stuart's a great joke. Yeah, they're a laughing at a half. The reaction, the reactions I get to see are phenomenal. Do you do to Meg? I definitely have done. You and I approach comedy so differently. I only do it for me, and then if other people laugh, that's a nice bonus. Yeah, but if one of your things was, I'm going to knock everything over on the shelf and then put it all back to where it was.

Do you get anything out of that? Absolutely. He knows he did it. Yeah. I'm making myself laugh while I'm doing it, absolutely. If I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing and then I know I'm going to fix it anyway, fuck yeah. I get it.

That's dad joke shit. Uh-huh. Is it? Oh, yeah. Nobody else is laughing stuff over? Oh, okay. That is dad joke shit. I didn't know that that's what you locked in on is the dad joke.

I thought you're locking in on him knocking over everything to pick up later. I didn't strike me as distinctly dad. I tried to get back into my lawn after last podcast because I revealed that I've not I've not been a lawn guy recently and then I just got thinking about how I think in one of the drafts Nick drafted mowing the lawn is like Yeah A positive I don't what was the do you remember what the draft was? Was it like summer activities? Was it summertime activities?

Yeah Yeah I was just I just like you know cleaning off. the mower, like getting all back out ready. And I just thought you're a psychopath. What? What do you mean? I think that was maybe the most insane draft pick of any of our drafts. You don't like mowing the lawn?

No, it's like, I can't wait to go and do this. I think it depends. I don't know, man. Also, if you've got like a lawnmower, you can ride. I don't have that. Ooh, that does sound fun. Ridingable lawnmower? Pushing a lawnmower on a hot morning when your shirt's off and you're sweaty.

and the sun's like warming you up and you're listening to some music and you know you're gonna have like an ice cold lemonade or a Diet Coke on the, or beer if you're, is that your thing on the other end of it? And you smell like the wet cut grass and it reminds you of childhood.

I don't know, man. I'm kind of with Nick on that. But when did you last achieve that? Well, I don't own a fucking house right now, do I? I can't. Yeah, this is like an Andrew tennis ball off the balcony situation, you know? It's just he needs it to be lined up the way that it needs to be and make sure everyone needs to be safe.

Talk to me in a couple weeks and we'll see. Maybe I'll have something for you on that front. When was the last time you did it? Probably two and a half years ago. There you go. Like exactly how you described there. Yeah, that's cutting the grass. Is there any other way to do it?

Okay. You get up on a Saturday morning when fucking, like, it's still a little early and you fucking hear like all the crickets and birds and shit going to town in your yard and you feel like kind of connected to nature and then you just fucking you just go around and move in that sound you know what i will say i might be on gavin's side because if i was going to do a draft of top sounds to nap to in the background hearing somebody else mowing their lawn great nap sound are you serious sure absolutely it is a good sound yeah that's better than a leaf blow not the sound itself what it implies i'm cozy and then i'm having a nap during the middle of the day and I hear some other sucker out there.

How does a lawnmower imply you being in bed? What do you mean? How are they related? What? Why? Can you hear you. Nicky. How does a lawnmower sound make you sleepy?

No, it doesn't make me sleepy. If I'm, okay, I'm in bed. I'm ready. I'm having a nap. I'm tired. I'm going to have a nap. It's during the day. And the windows open and I hear,

lawn more. Oh boy, my, oh, oh, it's a good nap. But how's that? Because I'm not mowing my lawn. It comforts him to know somebody else isn't doing, that somebody else is doing it, not him. Someone else is out there in the sun doing the thing that you're describing is not a fun activity. Meanwhile, I'm all cozed up in bed. Ooh, it's good to be me.

It's like, to me, Gab, it's the exact same thing as when you go sit in a lawn chair. in the sun with sunglasses on and just like charge your battery. It's the exact same thing as that. You're just getting a little bit walking in while you do it. Like when I'm out there getting D and dodging tree branches? Yeah.

I didn't actually dodge it. No, you didn't dodge it at all. No. Wait, how do you know? Uh, I, I feel like you told us that. Oh, okay. I did have to sit down and do some real hard thinking

if I threw that branch. I got to be honest with you. I didn't, I was, it was inconclusive. It sure does seem like something I would do. Absolutely does. I can definitely put myself in that place, in that moment, and get there. It scared the bejesus out of me. And I think I went from lying almost perfectly flat to in the fetal position, hovering

above the chair for a brief second. I probably didn't do it though. Yeah, probably Probably Now that we're on the other side of it How'd you guys feel that the anniversary went? Great! I think it was phenomenal.

It was so much fun. I had such a fucking blast. Getting to blindside the audience with Sloppy Joe's was so much fun for the first 90% of it. Yeah, it fell off a cliff, man. That was tough. Yeah, for doing it kind of early in the evening. It went pretty well.

the live draft I was a little nervous about. It was definitely a draft that I wasn't super prepared for and it just turned out so much better than I could have hoped for. The whole thing was just a really good time. Great to present the Gerple Jacket finally. I assume now we can release those videos of us making the Gerple jacket that we filmed. So you can see the behind the scenes of it. Really happy with how all that turned out. And then it was just awesome to get to ring in our second year with the audience in that way. Yeah. It was also great that it, we, got the stream extended slightly because the coin sold out midstream

and then obviously we had to Oh my God. Re-order the coin. Yeah, does the coin Coinsar want to give a rundown of that? Yeah, so, no problem. As the coins are, happy to do it. I'm now the Coinsar. I've been appointed

Coinsar and I make all the coin decisions and we did a lot of wheel spins. We did a lot of coin flipping. We did a lot of decision making. And what we landed on, as the coins are I stand by this, is we are making a head and foot coin,

which I think is such a good idea. Heads his heads and tails his feet. Nick can't wait. And we are making, and we are making two. Very unfortunate. Listen, everyone loves the wheel. Everyone thinks the wheel is such a good idea. Everyone loves the wheel.

It's so funny. It's so funny. Then you get something you don't want on the wheel. And all of a sudden, no, no, no, we have to throw that out. We have to do something else. No, no, no, my friends. We are only making two head and feet coins. I don't even know how we're going to do that.

Me either. We might have to make them ourselves. Yeah, it beats me. Gavin might have to 3D print them. I like the idea of making them ourselves. Yeah. I wonder if we could do some sort of mold. Can you do, Gav, can you 3D print a coin that's NIC's head on one side

and then a foot on the back? Please know. Yeah. Just need to do it twice. And then I think we'll have to make one of those, really fine how like sandy molds and then we'd have to melt metal and pour it in.

Yeah, I like that. I like that. So we smelt our own coins? I think we'll have to. Because as you said, prototyping or ordering two of something is the per coin price is going to be colossal. Virtually impossible, yeah. So it'll be a minute before we,

and then we have the stark reality that we are not going to be able to put two coins on our store to sell. Yeah. That is like maybe the meanest, rudest thing we could do to an audience ever. So you'll have to find a different way to disseminate these two coins to the audience. Yeah, we'll figure something out. But what remains is that we are only making two.

I've got to say, every time we put a decision to the coin, the coin sucks. The coin is a dog shit decision making. Holy shit. As far as I'm concerned, the coins 0 for two. And two is how many coins we're making. Well, this is interesting, though. We've only ever flipped the first coin. It's true.

Do we then move on to the heads and feet coin as the next flip? Well, if that's the next flip, do we keep it? Or do we have to get rid of that all? I mean, like, we're only making two. Maybe we make a third for us that we give away to. No, no, no. I think we have to use the second coin and then sell it. Jeff, I don't think you understand how this works.

Why would we make three if we're only making two? That's true. That's a good point. It is a good point. As the coins are, I got you there. And if you want to see all this unfold, it's at the end of the Sloppy Joe's Bingo Vod. So if you see us start running out of steam,

and you start running out of steam, why don't you just skip forward a hair? Yeah, and see this all fall apart. Shouts out to a friend of the show, Rob, who did a great job switching and figuring out how to show all this stuff on the fly. And, hey, Nick, great job putting it all together because what a, what a,

mess that was. That was the most flusked I've seen Nick since this company started, I think. Absolutely. You were doing tech support from the second I arrived to the second I left, basically. It was nuts. He had everything working halfway through the day. And then I want to say like maybe about 45 minutes before the stream, Nick, you checked it again and nothing worked. Oh yeah. We did a, we did a tech check with Andrew and that thing did not work. And then we attempted to fix it for the next 30 minutes. And I said, fuck it, we've got to go live. So we'll just worry about Andrew's problem later. And then the stream at the beginning went off without a hitch.

And then when we went to display Gavin's Gerpil jacket, it just cut out and the stream just went kaput. We had to reboot the whole thing. Oh. And then when we came back, the default audio resets because Windows is stupid. And it jumps to whatever the most recent thing that was plugged in was. And we had plugged in a monitor recently. So it started to try to send audio elsewhere.

And so that broke us talking to Andrew. So we thought he could hear us. We could hear him. But then he and Robert started having a conversation about. Yeah, I can never. In the background about how they couldn't hear each other. That's a surprising amount of moving pieces to that puzzle. Yeah.

But he did a great job, Nick. It was a lot of fun to watch. It was a lot of fun to do. And now Gavin as the holder of the gerpil jacket, how are you feeling? I feel phenomenal. I wore it home. And I took it off and I put the jacket next to my other one. You're a hardcore mini golf jacket?

Yeah. They're now just sat right next to each other. That's perfect. You got two golf jackets. On display or in a closet? Yeah, they're just in my closet. I can see them in the wardrobe. Now, here's a question for you guys.

Gavin has the jacket for the next year. Next spring, when we do the mini golf tournament again, the spring league, do we make a new gerbil jacket? Or do we, he doesn't give this one back, right? We got to make a new one.

And also, I don't want to wait till spring. Can we just do it like the fall or something? Can we do it like sooner? I just want to play more of golf. Are you talking about the fall golf classic? Why, Jeff, I am. I've heard tale of a fall golf classic.

I'd certainly be willing to, to investigate that? Absolutely. When do you think that would start? Probably in the fall. Yeah, someone like around there. Okay, cool video. Gavin's.

Oh. Look, wow. If it's right along it too. Jacket from a dead property and then a jacket from a thriving property. Do you have like a jersey? What is that? What is that? The white jersey with like a little like like a like stripe on the sleeve?

The red stripe there? Oh, it might be like a jacket that I got the Olympics or like YouTube sent me something. I don't know. I can't remember. It looks like it's short sleeve. Yeah. I can go and look if you want.

Yeah. Yeah, what else are you doing? I'm indifferent. You're not doing, you're not telling any fucking jokes. I'll tell you that. I was really happy with the anniversary. It was a lot of fun. Yeah, it's so fun.

I'm glad we got to do it. I'm glad that we got to live stream it. There were like almost 6,000 people. watching at one point. It was insane. So appreciative to everybody who showed up. Thank you somebody. Absolutely.

And so excited to get to do another year of content and then celebrate it again. Yep. In an even more bombastic and ridiculous way. And then that's it. And then that's the last year. No, I think we're good for 12, right? Didn't that come up? Yeah, I have some demands.

Right. Eric keeps talking about his demands. Yeah. Nick heard that I have demands, so he has demands too. Yeah. Right. Everybody get your demands ready. I love a demands draft.

Yeah. We got to make demands. Jeff said we have to keep making the show, so we got to make commands. Oh, is that a, is that a Tottenham? Oh, it's coming home, lad. It's just an English shirt. Ah. Oh.

Never seen you wear that. Three lines on a shirt. How you feeling about, uh, how you feeling about the World Cup, Gavin? Nothing. Well, sorry. Yeah. I mean, you made a prediction for this year, so I don't know. Fuck me, I guess.

Thanks, man. It's some good fucking yes and shit right there, dude. Go check, go see what else is in that fucking closet. Oh, nothing. I'll let you know when it starts there, and then I'll probably be thinking about it. I'm not a big looking forward to a thing guy. Gavin, can I ask you a question?

Yeah. When Eric mentions the World Cup, what picture do you see in your head? Do you see a foot? Do you see a soccer ball? Do you see England? Do you see a jersey? Or is it just the blank nothingness?

Uh, I, I picture penalties. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Because that's where I'm always like pacing around shit and myself. Ah. I have a demand. Oh, oh, Andrew has a demand. I have a demand.

We have to record two of these. Could we end this one so we can do the next one? Whoa. Oh, shit. Whoa, Andrew's demand. A demand formed in, in the form of a question. Demand Drew. Yeah.

I'm demanding to initiate this question because I also need to push my bed back. I'm stuck against my desk. I'm not stuck, but you're stuck between the bed and the desk. I'm not stuck. I'm not stuck. I can easily move around. But I can't go back. I'm not owned.

It's a process I go through. The bed slides away from the wall and then eventually I run out of room to go back and I need to go back. Well, thanks for listening to 106. I can't wait to find out. more about, I can't wait to find out more about Andrew's bed situation in episode 107, which we're going to record right now, but you're going to hear in about a week. Check out the Patreon, check out the game plays, and we'll see you next time. Bye.

Bye. I got to fix its bed.