Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 1002 | No Man Can Replace Moms

Starting point is 00:00:00 A three-year-old girl with two gay dads says that she wants a mommy. But her dad, an opinion writer for The Washington Post, says, eh, men can be moms too. Today we were talking about the state of the American family and why Christians must care about this and speak up about it. This episode is brought to you by friends at Good Ranchers. Go to Good Ranchers.com. Use code alley at checkout.

Starting point is 00:00:25 That's good ranchers.com code alley. Hey, guys, welcome to relatable. Happy Tuesday. hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far. Thank you so much for the love last week on the 1000th episode of Relatable. Your encouraging comments, your prayers mean so much to me. So thank you so much, Relatable family. I just, I love y'all. It's all for y'all. Y'all are the ultimate executive producers of this show. I try to do everything that I can. We try to do everything that we can to add as much value to you as possible. And you guys always help us do that

Starting point is 00:01:14 by giving us your awesome ideas and encouraging us along the way. So thank you so much. I have got a very, very special announcement tomorrow for my relatable family. It's not today. This is the biggest announcement that we've ever had. No, it's not a new book. It's not merchandise. I may or may not be the vice presidential pick for President Trump. I'm not going to let you know, but that's not the announcement tomorrow. It's also not a relatable cruise, which I thought was an awesome idea. I'm also not getting bangs on YouTube live. There was another guest that someone made.

Starting point is 00:01:54 But there are people on Instagram who have guessed what it is. It's a really big announcement. I'm so excited about it. I am pumped, pumped, pumped about it. And so you will find out tomorrow. I actually, as I'm saying this, I don't know if I'm announcing tomorrow on the show first or if I'm waiting to announce it on social media tomorrow evening and then talking about it on the show on Thursday. I haven't decided on that yet.

Starting point is 00:02:20 But you will find out tomorrow. Woohoo! I'm super pumped about that. Two other small things. We still have our 1,000 episodes T-shirt available to you all. Alliemerch.com. It's got a bunch of our most popular sayings on the back there. Super cute.

Starting point is 00:02:38 It's limited edition. So it's not going to be for sale always. So if you're a real one, if you're a real Relatable, related bro, then snag you one of these. Very special for our 1,000th episode. And you still also have time to enter to win our amazing giveaway. This is incredible. I'm so thankful for our sponsors just in general. But in particular for participating in this giveaway.

Starting point is 00:03:03 So this is our 1,000. episode giveaway. You've got until, let's see, when's the deadline for this? I think it's Thursday. Thursday, May 16th. This is the deadline. So you enter for your chance to win, a relatable merch package, assigned copy of your not enough and that's okay. One ESV study Bible, my favorite study Bible. And then over a thousand dollars worth of products from our sponsor. So Adele Natural Cosmetics, you got a gift package from them, $250 gift card to Carly Jean, Los Angeles, a set of Sheets from Cozy Earth. Amazing. Amazing gift. A pair of pajamas from Holy Pals. Super cute. This is for your kids. A ranged leather, belt bag. Love it. Seven weeks coffee. Bags of coffee. And then WeHeard Nutrition.

Starting point is 00:03:47 Get this. One year supply of vitamins customized to your needs. Amazing. Go to the giveaway post on Relatable Show page. That's Relatable with ABS. Tag three friends in the post. Follow Relatable with ABS and Allie B. Stucky on Instagram and then follow each of our seven sponsors tagged in the post. So we'll put those instructions in the description of this episode so you can make sure to do it all correctly. And again, the deadline is Thursday, May 16th. Okay. So as you heard at the top, we are going to talk about the state of the American family and fertility and the need for a mom and dad based on recent developments that I've seen in the media, some stories that were released over the weekend, as well

Starting point is 00:04:36 as some relevant data. But first, I want to continue or bring up a conversation that I was having on Instagram, as sometimes I like to do, because I like to get responses from my YouTube viewers, from the people who listen to this if you didn't happen to see it on my Instagram story. And that really doesn't have anything to do with the topics that we're discussing today. This is just kind of random. It was actually. because I was watching American Idol for the first time since Kelly Clarkson season when I was in, at first I said second grade, but I think I was maybe in third or fourth grade. I had not watched American Idol since then, but I watched it over the weekend because Jack Blocker,

Starting point is 00:05:15 who is incredible, he went to the Christian school that I went to growing up and he graduated in 2017. And when I heard that, I was like, oh, we're not that far apart in age. I graduated in 2010. And yet, if someone were to tell me that they graduated seven years before me, 2003, I'm like, ooh, we are not the same, not the same generation at all. And so it made me think about how this stage of life is very delusional when it comes to our age. It's a very delulu time when it comes to coming to terms with how old we actually are. it seems like sometimes, even though, of course, we grow and mature, we get all the responsibilities that come with marriage and work and children. We pay our taxes.

Starting point is 00:06:07 We're responsible citizens. It's not like a failure to launch situation. But it's like I have to put an effort to remind myself that I'm not 25 or 23 or 27, somewhere in my 20s. That's where I feel like I am. And I have to remember that someone who is seven years younger than me does not feel. like we are in the same age range. Sometimes, like I have friends who are between like 38 and 42 and they will say things like, oh, you know, our age. And I'm like, are our age? Our age? That's how it feels to be 32. You don't feel like you are close in age. You feel like you're closer in age to people

Starting point is 00:06:49 who are 22 than 42 in some ways. And yet it's really not, it's really not reality. And after I said that on Instagram. I got so many messages from you saying that you feel the same way in your 40s and your 50s that it really doesn't get better, that you're constantly kind of stuck in like late 20s, early 30s and feeling like you're still there. And then your body reminds you, oh yeah, I'm not a 27 year old anymore. I don't know what it is about that. I don't even desire to be younger than I am. I don't wish that I could go back to being 25. I don't miss those days. I I don't see that as like my glory days or the best day. I don't see that at all.

Starting point is 00:07:32 I love the stage of life that I'm in. I love being 32. I think I'm a lot more confident that I was 10 years ago. But for whatever reason, it is like really hard to wrap our minds around the fact that we are full grown adults, that we are like the age of the parents and rug rats. Like that isn't, I mean, that's just like crazy. I wasn't allowed to watch Rugrats, by the way, because Angelica was a brat. But I saw a meme about that, that we thought that they were so much older. And yet here we are, the ripe old age of 32.

Starting point is 00:08:06 And I am indeed much, much older than people who graduated seven years after me. It's been 10 years this month since I graduated from college. What? What? 10 years? Bree, do you ever feel delusional about your age? Um, yeah. Well, I'm about to turn 30. I know. So that's going to be kind of a... What day is your birthday? I haven't in my calendar, but... September 1st. Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Yes. Yeah. Wow. So I probably will start feeling delusional about it. Yeah. Right now I'm still in my 20s, so... Yeah. Oh, you have to milk that. Yeah. And even when you're 30, you're late, late 20s. Yeah. You just hang on to that. Late extra late 20s. Do you feel delusional about your age? getting there okay getting there anyone else feel delusional i know that y'all can't hear them or see

Starting point is 00:09:00 them but i'm just taking a poll around the room how old are y'all back there 28 25 oh i am the the elder the geriatric geriatric woman in this in this room wow wow 25 did you say 25 oh my goodness oh my goodness Wow, wow. Okay. I really am old. Thank you for that. Okay, that's all I wanted to say. So give me your opinions in the comments and the messages, please, if you feel like that or if your mind has always been able to keep up with how old you actually are. Okay, so there was yet another debate discussion on conservative Twitter. I would say even independent, maybe even center left Twitter. This seems to actually unite a whole bunch of people with different, backgrounds on social media, the conversation about surrogacy and the ethical issues with buying eggs from one woman, renting the womb of another woman, purposely creating children through IVF that are going to be raised motherless and the need for a newborn especially, but just a child in general, to have a mother.

Starting point is 00:10:29 Now, children also need a father. And so creating purposely fatherless children is also evil. I think having your mother and your father is a birthright. Now, we understand that it is a broken world. And there are situations in which a mother who is pregnant cannot take care of her child. And so she adopts out her child. And that child is. is taken into a home, hopefully, that loves them and can care for that child. But adoption is different than sperm and egg selling and surrogacy, because as we often say, adoption redeems an already broken situation, whereas surrogacy, ag and sperm selling, create that broken situation because you are intentionally creating that child to take them away

Starting point is 00:11:24 from their mother or father, or even in a situation where you say you have two biologics, parents that are using a surrogate, you are still creating a child through what I believe is the unethical process of IVF because it requires eugenics and destroying embryos and indefinitely freezing embryos. And because these are people made in the image of God, I think that is unfair treatment of children in their earliest stages of development. But even in that case, when you're using a surrogate for a heterosexual couple's genetic child, you are creating that child to take them away from the only woman they have ever known, the woman that they have bonded with, whose heartbeat she knows, whose smell and feel and touch she knows

Starting point is 00:12:12 and longs for, you are using a surrogate, creating that child to take them away from that bond, to sever that bond at the earliest stages of development. And I know it's easy for us to say, while there are no consequences to that, it's no big deal. We'll get into some data about, you know, what the numbers actually say and what people who have been born through surrogacy actually say about that. But the truth is we are just taking advantage of a baby's inability to articulate their needs and we are assuming that everything is fine. And that is cruel. That's worse treatment than we give to puppies and kittens. We understand, even though they can't verbalize their needs, that they need to be with their mom for six, eight, 12 weeks after birth.

Starting point is 00:13:05 But we just assume that human newborns don't in the name of inclusion, in the name of empathy, especially in the name of LGBTQ celebration. We just say that two men or two women can use these services, use this reproductive technology to purposely create motherless or fatherless children. And it rightly causes a lot of anger and sadness and conviction in people, especially when it comes to newborns who are being taken in by two men. Because while all children need both a mother and a father, babies especially need their moms. They need that comfort, they need that familiarity, that bond that has been created for 10 months. of pregnancy is so special and so important for their emotional and physical regulation when they're born for that bonding. And really, what happens, like, in the first few moments and few days after birth is very foundational for a person. That doesn't mean that that person can never

Starting point is 00:14:12 recover. If you had a, like, traumatic experience after birth as a baby that you're not going to live, like, a healthy and fulfilled life. But we know it can have very serious. effects on both the mother and child if they are not able to bond after birth. And yet again, in the name of LGBTQ inclusion, we are taking that away from children. There was a video that was going around. We've talked about this couple before. They are two men who used their friends' eggs and one of the man's sister's uterus to give birth to a boy and a girl twin. and they have documented this process from conception. They have monetized this process since the beginning,

Starting point is 00:15:01 and they continue to build their lucrative TikTok empire based on their children and their story of obtaining these children. And so they posted a video of one of these babies being placed on one of the the men's chest and the baby is shivering and quivering and screaming and crying and it caused this very visceral reaction from a lot of people on social media. This is Sot too. I mean, if that doesn't just break your heart. Now, this man might be a very nice man. And I am sure that he feels love for these two babies. But at the end of the day, no matter what a great guy he might be or a great dad he might be, he's not a mom. He's not a mom. And babies need their mom. That baby right there is crying for her mom. She needs her mother. She wants her mother's smell. She actually longs for the body. of the woman who just dated her. She doesn't even get the chance to connect to her biological mom, who is the egg seller. And yet she is forced onto this chest of a man who she doesn't even know.

Starting point is 00:16:46 And so that's how we are treating newborn children in the name of LGBTQ celebration. This is the perfect example of children always being the unconsenting subjects of progressive social experiments. we are willing to sacrifice their well-being, their needs, and their rights for the whims and wants of adults. It is wicked and it is wrong. And I know this particular couple is very upset with me for talking about these things. They're talking about it on TikTok. But look, I care about the rights of kids. Kids need a mom and a dad, not just.

Starting point is 00:17:32 a female presence, not just a female influence. They need a mom and a dad. And yes, I do think it is cruel to purposely create children that are going to be motherless or fatherless. I do. And I will continue to stand for that. And I think one of him even said, don't you, he said, you're a Christian woman. Don't you know that in the Bible they used concubines? My gosh, I'm sorry. I couldn't keep a straight face. Use concubines as surrogates in the Bible. Sir, sir, that is your response to me being against surrogacy, saying that because the Bible you slave women to impregnate and carry a child, that that's the justification for surrogacy today? Are you also advocating for slavery?

Starting point is 00:18:23 You understand that those concubines were raped and forced to carry children in those times. Are you saying that you condone that slavery? Are you saying that you condone that? I don't think that that is the biblical example that you want to point to to justify the choices that you are making today. Maybe there is a better and more sophisticated argument that you have. I personally have not ever heard a convincing biblical surrogacy argument. The surrogacy example that I think of is Hagar and Sarai and Abram. That did not turn out well. That's actually a perfect example of the brokenness and the pain and the, just the trauma that that can cause. And so, no, sir, no, sir. I'm sorry, I don't desire to hurt your feelings. But look, you're putting it out

Starting point is 00:19:15 there for everyone to see. You are commercializing this process. You are monetizing this process. You can't expect everyone to celebrate. There are going to be people who are against this because we believe what human beings have believed for all of time and all of cultures that men and women are different and that moms and dads are both irreplaceable. Now here is a beautiful example of what it looks like when a newborn is given the comfort and the familiarity of his mom after birth. Here's thought one. Hi, Mama. I'm sorry, I was a stinker. That's it. She's really beautiful.

Starting point is 00:20:07 That's it. Every mom knows it's exactly, that is exactly what happens. All that baby had to do was to smell his mom, hear his mom, touch his mom's face immediately calm down. That is what's supposed to happen. Every mom that has birth to child, whether C-section or what, whether it was a natural birth, we all know. We all know that feeling of that crying baby who just wants to be held and just wants the comfort of his or her mom. All of us moms have been there. That is how it's supposed to be. And it's so obvious that God created that, created it to be that way, that these babies long for their mom. And again, to take that away from them intentionally, to create them, to sever that tie is cruel and wrong.

Starting point is 00:21:06 There was a stunning example of this and the prolonged trauma and pain that this causes actually in the Washington Post over the weekend. This was their way, I guess, of celebrating Mother's Day. Publishing an op-ed titled, Our Daughter Wanted a Mommy, so she picked one of her dads. This was written by a gay. a man who obtained his children through surrogacy. And his daughter, three and a half years old, said, actually, I want a mom. Okay, in the Washington Post, I mean, this was just stunning what this dad was willing to admit.

Starting point is 00:22:02 And then how completely wrong he was in the conclusion that he drew at the end of this. So the summary is this, the TLDR, the three-year-old. daughter of two gay men realize she does not have a mom despite being inundated with gay children's books. So she insists that one of her dads will now be her mom. This is the very common story, by the way, as we will get into after I read you some quotes from this article. So he says, sometime last fall, our oldest daughter than three and a half years old, began telling us she wanted a mom. My husband and I, two men, had known this moment might come. We had done everything we could to lay the groundwork for her and her little sister. So two girls purposely created without a mom.

Starting point is 00:22:49 By the way, in the IVF process, you choose the gender that you want very often. And I'm sure they did. And so they decided to create two little girls to be raised without a mother. Again, cruel, selfish. So he says, her and we've, we had done everything. We could delay the groundwork for her and her little sister to feel pride in our non-traditional family. We'd stocked up on two dad children's books and recounted many times the story of how they'd come into the world with the help of a generous egg donor and an amazing surrogate. It's so funny that they say generous egg donor and an amazing surrogate. Egg donors and surrogates get paid tens of thousands of dollars to do this. So I'm not sure where the generosity is coming in. But at least for our older daughter, none of these preventative measures had seemed to soften the blow of realizing that every.

Starting point is 00:23:40 other kids she knew had a mom. For a week or two, she seemed genuinely upset, but then came a twist that neither my husband nor I expected. She announced that she would now call my husband mommy. I guarantee that this husband or this man is probably the more feminine and passive one in the relationship. She picked up on that because kids are smart and she decided, you're more feminine. I'm going to call you mommy. And that in her mind seemed to settle it. She also, started calling him by she her pronouns she really she didn't just want the label of a mommy she wanted a mommy and she decided in her sweet little brain that i am going to make myself a mommy i want a mother i want the love of a woman and then this was interesting i thought it was so interesting

Starting point is 00:24:31 his comment about uh his daughter calling his so-called husband she hurt he said was it okay to let her bend reality in this way. So calling him she her, even though he goes on to say that the dad was okay with it, that he's okay with being called mommy. He's okay with being called she her. He says that calling him by these she her pronouns is bending reality. He says, wasn't this too big a concession to heteronormativity? And then he says that it's gone on in all.

Starting point is 00:25:10 on it didn't stop the way that he thought that it would. He says to hammer home the point, she began every so often calling him, She Mother, the title, my husband, delighted in. Here's also just, ugh, so selfish, so self-centered, such narcissist. The daughter's school was confused. Her teachers the previous year had, after consulting us, rebranded the holiday of Mother's Day as Parents' Day, A gesture we really appreciated, but this time we required no special accommodation.

Starting point is 00:25:43 So again, mothers and women have to be erased in order to accommodate two men. I mean, how much erasure can two gay men accomplish in their lives? I mean, you've erased the role of mother, of gestator by paying them and then separating them from your family. you are entering into a space that wants to celebrate mothers through Mother's Day. And then you are encouraging an accommodation, which takes away the special attention from mothers who are different from just parents and different from fathers in order to accommodate you, a choice that you have made to raise motherless children. And then he goes on to say this year, however, they could do mothers. Day because now his partner is called a mother. And so this year at school, they got to have Mother's Day. Yay, we just get to change these celebrations and what our holidays are called

Starting point is 00:26:50 based on what two gay men won. It's really incredible how they wield that much influence and authority. I wonder what the other moms in the class thought about that, that it was just parents' day. But the father, because Father's Days in the summer, still got to have Father's Day. So these parents got to have Parents Day and Father's Day really incredible development. He goes on to ask, but did she have a mother? That was the question or a version of it that I've kept turning over in my head these past months. If a mother is simply a woman, simply a woman who is raising a child, simply. That's just so myopic. Then no, our daughters do not have one. But are women really the only people?

Starting point is 00:27:36 who can be maternal? Why can't the roles that were historically assigned, assigned, that's the language that they use, is just arbitrary, assigned mothers be fulfilled by parents or loved ones of any kind, because you don't have a uterus, you don't have ovaries, that's why, because you're a man, and y'all might be great dads, you'll might be great dads, but you'll never be a mom. You'll never be a mom. Men and women are not interchangeable. You know that as a gay man, right? You're know that men and women aren't the same because there's a reason that she chose to be with a man and not a woman. If men and women were interchangeable, then surely you would have just chosen to be a woman or chosen to marry a woman and to have children. Naturally, you know that men and women are different when it comes to your

Starting point is 00:28:21 attraction, but you claim that men and women are interchangeable when it comes to parenthood. That's interesting. And yet it really is the same math. And this is what even some people on the right don't understand. The same math that says that men and women are interchangeable, therefore transgenderism is totally valid. Transwomen are women, the motto goes. It's the same math as love is love. These are circular mantras that have no real definition, therefore they have no concrete reality, no grounding in biological truth because they can be defined however you want to define them. If love is love, then it can be anything. If trans women are women, then they can be anything. If you're not defining what a woman is, if you're not defining what love is, then these are completely

Starting point is 00:29:09 meaningless mantras that are used to simply manipulate people. They're just kind of these vapid euphemisms and they work as really effective propaganda, but again, there's no moral truth to them. And the love is love mantra that justifies two men coming together in marriage, two women coming together in marriage. Again, it's the same mentality that men and women are the same, that they're interchangeable, that they're replaceable, that human beings are just widgets, that kids don't really need a mom and a dad, that they can be raised by any kind of person and turn out perfectly fine. These are the same people, by the way, who say that we need fair representation of the genders in all spheres of society, that on every board of trustees,

Starting point is 00:29:58 on in every C-suite, in every chamber and sector of government life, we need to make sure that men and women are fairly represented. But not in a family, but not when it comes to marriage, but not when it comes to parents. They're also the same people who are constantly chiding everyone to trust the science. Are you telling me that the science of reproduction doesn't tell us anything about what a child needs for healthy development, you know that you need a man and a woman to have a child, don't you think, just using deductive reasoning, that that tells us something about what children need also to be raised, not just to be reproduced, but to be raised. But apparently, the science doesn't speak to that. It doesn't give us any indicators, any signals

Starting point is 00:30:52 of how we should structure families and structure and structure, um, and structure, um, society. Now, he does not walk away, unfortunately, with the conviction that, wow, we've created this motherless child and innately she knows that she wants a mom. She wants to know who she is and where she comes from because those are basic instincts as human beings. We want to know our origin story, even children who are adopted. And they might love their parents. Children of gay parents might love their parents. And maybe they were afforded all the opportunities given all the resources in the world, they still have a mother hunger or a father hunger. They still want to know who they are. What's in their DNA? Where did they come from?

Starting point is 00:31:39 What is the nationality of their ancestors? Where did they get their personality quirks? Where did they get their strengths and weaknesses? We are taking away the right of people to know who they are and where they come from and impart what their purposes and where their place is. And we are just assuming that everything is going to turn out okay. Kids innately know that they have a mom and a dad and need a mom and a dad. And again, it is so wicked for adults to sacrifice that in the name of fulfilling their own wants. But unfortunately, this author of this article, he doesn't get that. He actually still thinks, as all progressives do, that it's society's fault, that society just hasn't caught up yet.

Starting point is 00:32:24 He says, even in our liberal East Coast community, the local Spanish language program that's advertised as mommy and me and the email in other class parents that started high class moms. And so any mention of a mother is offensive to them. Everything has to be gender neutral to accommodate them. We have to erase the idea of motherhood all together. And they think that when that happens, their little daughter will all of a sudden not. want a mom anymore. Again, it's heteronormativity that has caused her to desire a mom. No, it's not that. It is that everyone craves their mother. Everyone does. And everyone in the world has a mom and a dad. And you can't erase that. And you can't make her forget that. And it makes it even worse.

Starting point is 00:33:14 I think that this is a little girl. Of course, she's going to want her mom. Gay men know the very least about women than any other kind of person. Like, what business do you have raising these girls who are going to turn into women one day. He says he worries about the message regarding gender roles that it's being delivered to our kids. And I wonder about the messages being sent to other parents of all types. What about non-binary parents who aren't reflected in the mom, dad dichotomy? His conclusion is this.

Starting point is 00:33:41 In the end, I've come to believe our daughter has been telling us something beautiful and profound that she has everything she needs. She's literally telling you the opposite. Literally the opposite of what you took away. including those attributes that society has normally treated as the provenance of mothers right here in her two dad family. No, your sweet little daughter is actually saying, how did I end up with two men? Where the heck is my mommy? That's what your daughter is saying.

Starting point is 00:34:11 And it's very sad. And I pray for her and I hope that she does have a wonderful life. And I hope that she is able to find some fulfillment and stability. but I promise you her entire life she's going to wonder who her mom is and why she didn't get raised by a mom and why she never got to make memories with her mother. Why when she's sick or when she has a question about growing up, why she longed to be able to talk to her mom and she didn't get that. I promise you that that is going to affect her forever. And it's really sad. It's really sad. Dr. Al Mueller also commented on this. And he says, Mother's Day 10.

Starting point is 00:34:52 to bring out the very best in our culture and simultaneously to bring out the very worst. The big lesson here is that the three and a half year old sees what the others will not see. Christians must look at this kind of argument and realize that the fact that the article appeared as the nation turned to observe Mother's Day tells us just about everything we need to know about the Washington Post and the dominant media class in Washington. But it's not enough for Christians to refuse the Kool-Aid. We must recognize that this level of confusion and contortion underlines the fact that our current cultural warfare is now at the level of an ontological crisis and an outright rebellion

Starting point is 00:35:26 against the creation order. He is absolutely 100% right about this. And that's why Christians have to care about the so-called culture war. That's why we have to be willing to be, quote unquote, divisive. That is why we have to be willing to be called all kinds of names, to be accused of not having empathy of not being loving enough, of being too judgmental because on the other side of those accusations are children. They're children, helpless, vulnerable children who don't have political capital. They don't have a voice. They don't have a lobbying group. They don't have anyone that is standing in their stead. And that's what Christians must do. That's what Christians have always done. If you look back in ancient pagan times when Christians burst on the scene,

Starting point is 00:36:20 One of the most transformative changes that Christians made was how society treated children, no longer as sexual objects, no longer as things to be discarded or pushed to the margins of society or ignored or neglected, but people made in the image of God who can be by grace through faith, saved by Christ, people who deserve dignity and respect and need special care. The church has always been a refuge for the most vulnerable, namely for children. We serve a Jesus who said, let the little children come to me. We serve a Jesus who said that we should have faith like a child. That is the Christianity that we are supposed to embody. And that means speaking up for the motherless, speaking up for the fatherless. And Christians who think this is too political, it's too divisive, it's too unloving, You have just been effectively brainwashed by the culture into believing that love means the affirmation of sin.

Starting point is 00:37:26 But the God who is love, 1 John 4-8 created us male and female and gave us the family in the very first chapter of the first book of the Bible. That's how fundamental it is. And I don't believe you if you say that you are bold enough to share the gospel, John 146, but not bold enough to stand up for Genesis 127. I don't believe you. We have to be bold enough to stand up for both. because the creation order matters. The creation order is protective.

Starting point is 00:37:52 The creation order glorifies God. And our purpose is to glorify God. Our purpose is also to love our neighbor. You cannot love your neighbor without defending the creation order that God put in place to protect the most vulnerable. And so, Christians need to get a lot louder about this. Pastors need to get a lot louder about this. And we'll look at some of the statistics very quickly.

Starting point is 00:38:17 quickly before I end with another story. So this op-ed isn't just, isn't just a one-off. This is actually very common. I think more common than we know because these kinds of stories are suppressed because the spirit of the age, the secular, moral and sexual revolution narrative

Starting point is 00:38:47 says that there's no such thing as gender, that the family is completely arbitrary, that marriage doesn't really matter, that male-female does, really matter and therefore if kids are raised by three men or one trans non-binary furry and a mom that it's all well and good it's all the same and yet it's not there are a lot of examples of this on reddit actually and it really is super sad and many of you have actually messaged me stories of when you were a nanny or a babysitter for two gay men for example

Starting point is 00:39:24 that you knew their kids, the questions that they would ask, trying to call you, mother, more than a few of you have sent me similar stories. And it's just very heartbreaking. Here's one from Reddit. Nanny of a three-year-old girl who has two gay dads said the little girl calls her mommy. She is asking how she should respond to the girl and whether or not she should tell the two dads. She says, maybe I'm making it into a bigger deal than it is, but she's three. And she calls me mummy or asks if I'm her mommy. to laugh it away and redirect it and say, I'm not a mummy, I'm a zombie, or I changed the topic. And then another nanny on the thread has said the same thing, that she is a nanny for two gay dads too.

Starting point is 00:40:10 And she says she has jokingly, a little girl, has jokingly called me mama. And she has asked me to play pretend as her mom. But I would always say that these incidences were just in playful ways. And then she came home pretty recently, annoyed because a kid assumed that she had a mom. And then another kid chimed in. She doesn't have a mom. She has two dads. And then the other kid said, but you need a dad and a mom to have a baby.

Starting point is 00:40:37 Two dads can't have one. Smart kid. And this nanny on Reddit says that the child asked her, am I a rescued baby? And so she wants to make sense of her origin. She wants to make sense of herself and her identity. And she's trying to do that, and it's so, so difficult for kids to understand that. There's a similar story on the thread of another nanny of a three-year-old child with two gay dads. She says, I nanny for a gay couple with three kids, and I would definitely recommend letting dads know.

Starting point is 00:41:13 She's talking to the original poster. Their daughter was about three and a half when she started to ask me a lot of question about moms and her mom. and was I someone's mom already? They had all kinds of books about different families, but as someone else has already said, she was starting to truly understand that her family is different from some of her friends and trying to sort it out.

Starting point is 00:41:31 So it says her twin brother's biological mom was already semi-was around semi-regularly, but her bio-mom had chosen to be uninvolved. So she was trying to sort that out too. So really, really upsetting. There was also this article in today's parent from August of 2022 that says, My kid didn't feel like two moms were enough. So we created Project Queer.

Starting point is 00:42:02 When he was three, typically seems to be around that age. That's interesting. This is what one of the women says. These are two gay women. When he was three, her son started asking to see his daddy. Then at age four came to theories that his father used to live with us, but got bored and wandered off or that Jacob did something bad. dad had to suddenly leave. The last one got me. It felt like someone had speared my stomach. Yeah, that's conviction because your son is trying to figure out who his dad is and why his dad isn't around

Starting point is 00:42:30 anymore. He doesn't even know his dad. He was donated by a sperm donor or sold by a sperm donor. And then, of course, she goes on to blame society. Cisgender heterosexual parents are the ubiquitous norm. One of the people that she consulted for this article said, it comes to be seen as normal, natural, ultimately healthy. Well, it is normal and natural and healthy. And so, again, rather than this woman, understanding where her conviction is coming from and understanding the mistake that she has made, what she has robbed her son, she says that she began something called Project Queer, which aimed to do whatever it took to instill queer pride in her son, Jacob. The mother describes how each time she tried to read him LGBTQ books, that's another theme in all of this,

Starting point is 00:43:18 tons of gay propaganda in these kids' lives. And yet these kids are still like, okay, but where's my mom or dad? Goes on to say, I didn't believe having a dad was an inborn need, but it was one that had, for whatever reason, either nature or nurture, been instilled in him. What if instead of trying to stamp out this need, I simply embraced it? And then she said, she asked her dad and step dad if they would agree to step into the father figure role. They agreed, but lived far away.

Starting point is 00:43:46 So the agreement included more frequent Zoom. meetings and agreeing to call themselves, dad, how freaking heartbreaking is that? How heartbreaking is that, man? And I understand, like, if you are a gay parent to reckon with the mistake that you've made, to try to come to terms with the fact that you have robbed an unconsenting, helpless child of the right to a mom or a dad, and that, I mean, I'm sure as a parent, you want them to be happy, you want them to be whole and realizing that you've taken that opportunity from them in a lot of ways. I understand why there's all this mental gymnastics to try to justify what you did because that is a painful, tragic realization. And it would take

Starting point is 00:44:34 so much humility and repentance to embrace that and to try to seek some kind of like forgiveness for that and try to make that right because you can't, like you can't take it back. and you love your child. You don't want to say that you regret your child because I'm sure you can't imagine your life without your child. I think that that is true of most gay parents. And so to try to come to terms with the fact of this really like egregious choice that you've made, this burden that you have forced them to carry of fatherlessness or motherlessness.

Starting point is 00:45:05 I imagine that that's really hard. So you try to, you write all these op-eds and you start all these organizations and you jump through all these hoops to say it's society's fault. It's everyone else's fault. We're the ones who are normal. It's not innate. It's the problem with the cis heteronormative patriarchy out there. It's the media. It's Christians. It's the right wing political machine. Whatever it is that you want to blame when really it's just innate because everyone has a mom and a dad and everyone wants to know where they come from and who they are. That's what it is. And that's what you're taking from kids when you purposely create fatherless or motherless babies. I remember a couple of years ago, hearing the story about Hayden Panadier. And this is different. This doesn't have to do with anything LGBTQ, but it speaks to this that children need a mom. Children need both of their parents. I remember she went through something. She went through, I guess, what you would consider some

Starting point is 00:46:00 kind of mental health crisis. And she was going through a custody battle with her seven-year-old daughter. And she interviewed on Red Table Talk. And she talked about the custody situation with her seven-year-old daughter who lives in Ukraine with her father, who is now her ex-husband. She's lived there since 2018. Her father petitioned for full custody in Ukraine, Penetier's efforts during Penetier's efforts to treat her own alcoholism. Penitier said that while she goes to visit her daughter when she can, her absence was affecting Kaya in some alarming ways.

Starting point is 00:46:37 Here's Sot 3. I also remember her dad calling me and he said, Kai is going around and asking other women if she can call them mommy. And my, like, breath hitched and my heart stopped. And he was laughing. He thought this was funny. Ugh, it just breaks my heart. Breaks my heart.

Starting point is 00:46:59 It's not enough for kids just to be raised by adults. That's not enough. We need intact families. You know them before us by now because we talk a lot about Katie Faust. and we've had her on a few times, and she has been a champion of children's rights and the importance of marriage and intact families for a long time. She was raised by two women. She also has an adoptive son, so she understands so many different sides of this, and she really has been on the front lines for such a long time when it comes to this, very taboo topic, and she's gathered a lot of data on this. And if you go to the Then Before Us website, you can read all of this.

Starting point is 00:47:41 look at the sources yourself. We don't have time to get into all of it. But for example, a new family structures study researcher Mark Regnerus concluded on 25 out of 40 outcomes evaluated, there were statistically significant differences between children from intact biological families and those of the mothers and lesbian relationships in many areas that are unambiguously suboptimal, such as receiving welfare, need for therapy, infidelity, STIs, sexual victimization, educational attainment, safety of the family origin, deposition, deposition, deposition, Impression attachments and dependencies, marijuana use, frequency of smoking, and criminal behavior. We know that fatherlessness can increase the risk of all of these issues.

Starting point is 00:48:24 Using data from the U.S. National Health Interview Survey, Paul Sullen, discovered that when compared with children in dual gender households, children in same-sex-headed families, one, were likely to suffer emotional behavioral difficulties at a rate of 9.3 percent, more than twice the rate for children and dual gender families, experienced definite or severe emotional problems at a rate of 14.9% versus 5.5% where he diagnosed with ADHD at a rate of 15.5% versus 7.1% struggled with learning disabilities at a rate of 14.1% versus 8% receive special education and mental health services at a rate of 17.8% versus 10.4%. Research from Focus on the family says dreams of social science and medical research convincingly show that children who are raised by their

Starting point is 00:49:13 married biological parents enjoy better physical, cognitive, and emotional outcomes, on average, than children raised in other circumstances. The Center for Law and Social Policy says that research indicates that, on average, children who grow up in families with both their biological parents and a low-conflict marriage are better off in a number of ways than children who grow up in single step or cohabitating parent households. Princeton University research even says, if we were asked to design a system for making sure that children's basic needs were met, we would probably come up with something quite similar to the two-parent family.

Starting point is 00:49:50 Ideal, the fact that both adults have a biological connection to the child. So that would require a mother and a father would increase the likelihood that the parents would identify with the child and be willing to sacrifice for that child. and it would reduce the likelihood that either parent would abuse the child because that's the thing. The riskiest place for a child to be is in a home with a non-related male. Is that saying that all step parents or all gay dads who are not biologically related to one of the children in the home are abusive? No, but the stats are the stats. They are far more likely to be abused by someone they are not related to yet lives in their home.

Starting point is 00:50:30 that's why the cohabitation, the rotating boyfriends or girlfriends in the home, they're all very dangerous to a child. God created this biological family for the safety of the family, for the safety of children. We've talked many times about the data on fatherlessness, how the risk of delinquency of eating disorders of teen pregnancy all go up when there is not a dad at home. And yet, we are continuing to move in the direction for the most part of creating children to raise them in purposely broken situations. Even NPR is saying this is not a good thing. In an article of October 2023, why children have married parents do better, but America is moving the other way. The U.S. has the world's highest rate of children living in single parent households,

Starting point is 00:51:22 according to a 2019 Pew Research Center study. What? That is insane. Almost a quarter or 23% of U.S. children living or under the age of 18 live with one parent and no other adults. Kearney finds that this arrangement hurts children, widens inequality, and ultimately damages society. So, Kearney, Melissa Kearney is the author of the two-parent privilege, how Americans stopped getting married and started falling behind.

Starting point is 00:51:52 She points out this obvious fact that children raised by two parents have a much higher chance of success than those raised by one, particularly those that they are biologically connected to. One fact is undeniable in all of this. More women are deciding to have children and also remain single, that is stupid, that is wrong, that is selfish. Kearney notes that families headed by a single mother are five times more likely to live in poverty than families headed by a married couple. That also shows that many single mothers don't have help from any other. adult like a grandparent or a family member. Kearney says the problem is that unmarried parents very rarely stay together even if you say, well, they're being raised by a loving boyfriend, girlfriend. Well, that very rarely is a stable, solid situation for that child. She says this.

Starting point is 00:52:41 I don't know exactly what it is about marriage, but it is a very practical matter. If you just look in the data, marriage is what delivers kids a stable long term to parent household in this As an economist, she sees marriage as a long-term contract between two individuals to pool their resources and share household responsibilities, including raising children. Two is better than one. The genders of the parents are irrelevant according to Kearney. Of course, we know that that's not true because, again, the data shows that kids are safest when they are being raised by those who are biologically related to them because God has

Starting point is 00:53:17 given us that instinct. Yes, there are bad biological parents. Yes, of course, there are many, many, many amazing adoptive parents. But, again, the statistics are the statistics, that that biological connection actually matters. Okay, let me just tell, let me end with this. I was going to do this whole other story about Aaron Andrews. We'll get to that tomorrow. We just didn't have time for it.

Starting point is 00:53:50 But let me end with a little bit of a positive trend. So this is according to Brad Wilcox. And this is in his book, Get Married. So he accumulated data from the U.S. Census Bureau. population surveys from 2007 to 2022. You'll remember Dr. Brad Wilcox is UVA professor. He is a fellow at Institute for Family Studies. We've had them on a couple times. And so he says also note that as divorce falls and motherhood becomes more selective, the share of kids being raised by single moms is dipping. And the share of kids being raised by intact married families is surprisingly ticking up.

Starting point is 00:54:29 So it's still lower than it was, for example, in 2007. In 2007, 60% of children aged 0 to 17 lived with married biological parents that dipped to 57.8 in 2012. Now it's back up to 58.9. Now, does that include two men or two women? Is that what's really making the difference here? Or are we actually seeing positive trends away from divorce and a way? from choosing single parenthood. I would say that that is a positive development if it is that, if people are simply making

Starting point is 00:55:08 better choices because divorce also tears apart families. Unless it's in cases of abuse, it is very often parents doing what is best for their feelings and their wants and not what is best for their children and their needs. it's almost like the God of the universe knew what he was doing when he created all this, when he gave us the creation order, when he gave us families, when he gave us genders, when he gave us moms and dads, when he defined the family in the very first chapter of the first book of the Bible. God's order, his parameters, his boundaries, his definitions are all good. They are all for our good. And it is the godless mind that sees God's

Starting point is 00:55:58 parameters as limiting and as evil and as things that need to just be torn down in the name of liberation and it is up to the godly to show how God's ways are better. They're actually more liberating. They're more freeing. They're more protective. They are for human survival and also human flourishing. So all of this stuff about families, about reproduction from the point of conception onward, it all really matters to the Christian. And as unpopular as these things might be, children's lives and their well-being, they're on the line. And if we care about anything, we have to care about that. All right, that's all we got time for today. We will be back here tomorrow.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 1002 | No Man Can Replace Moms

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