Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 1359 | From Trans Abortion Advocate to Christian Evangelist: Haley Furst’s Testimony

Episode Date: June 12, 2026

How does a leftist TikTokker become a servant of Christ? Allie is joined by Haley Furst, who shares her departure from a Christian upbringing to identifying as transgender while supporting feminism and abortion. However, God reached out to her in her brokenness, shaking her progressive worldview to its core. Haley discloses how she tried to hold onto her liberal beliefs while following Christ, but she gave up those worldly holdings in order to join God’s kingdom. Haley gives advice for how Christians can reach out to others as well as how Christians can deal with having children who identify as LGBTQ. Share the Arrows 2026 is on October 10 in Dallas, Texas! Tickets are on sale now at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://sharethearrows.com⁠⁠⁠ Share the Arrows is sponsored by: A'del Natural Cosmetics: AdelNaturalCosmetics.com Range Leather: RangeLeather.com/ALLIE We Heart Nutrition: WeHeartNutrition.com Buy Allie's book "Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion": ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.toxicempathy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Time Codes 0:00 Introduction 0:44 Haley’s “Trans” Life 36:20 Return to Christianity 56:29 How Should Christians Approach LGBTQ – Today's Sponsors: Hillsdale College | Go right now to ⁠⁠hillsdale.edu/relatable⁠⁠ to enroll. There’s no cost, and it’s easy to get started. Patriot Mobile | Go to PatriotMobile.com/ALLIE or call 972-PATRIOT. Use promo code ALLIE for a free month of service. Good Ranchers | To support a company that honors America’s past, present, and future, visit ⁠GoodRanchers.com⁠ today. When you start your plan, you’ll get to pick a free meat that will be included in every order for life, and you’ll get $25 off your first order using my exclusive code, ALLIE. We Heart Nutrition | Check out We Heart Nutrition at ⁠⁠⁠WeHeartNutrition.com⁠⁠⁠ and use the code ALLIE for 20% off. Episodes You May Like: Ep 1020 | Botched: The Brutality of Trans Mastectomies | Guest: Soren Aldaco https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-1020-botched-the-brutality-of-trans/id1359249098?i=1000659311855 Ep 897 | A Detransitioner on the Lie of Trans ‘Joy’ | Guest: Laura Perry Smalts (Part Two) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-897-a-detransitioner-on-the-lie-of-trans/id1359249098?i=1000632747460 --- ► Buy Allie's book, "You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love": https://alliebethstuckey.com/book ► Subscribe to the podcast: iTunes: https://apple.co/2UVssnP Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2FwkXxj ► Connect with Allie on Social Media: https://twitter.com/conservmillen https://www.instagram.com/alliebstuckey/ https://facebook.com/allieBlazeTV/ ► Relatable merchandise – use promo code 'ALLIE10' for a discount: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Haley first spent years of her young adult life identifying as a man. She even gained a million and a half followers on TikTok talking about transgenderism and all kinds of left-wing issues. After being raised a Christian, she was sucked into a social media algorithm that told her that she could only be fulfilled if she transitioned. But Jesus saved her out of that darkness about a year ago. And now she is here sharing her testimony and everything God has done in her life. you are going to be so encouraged by her story. So without further ado, here is our friend Haley. Haley, thanks so much for taking the time to join us.

I for sale your videos on Instagram and you talked about once identifying as a man. I think from ages 18 to 22, you had this big following on TikTok. So first talk about that because you're sitting in front of me, this beautiful woman. How in the world did you decide that you wanted to identify as a man? Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, so much of it people think was this like situation in my childhood where I always knew I was a man, but I actually wasn't, you know, that wasn't my circumstances. I actually never had these episodes as a child where I was, you know, seen trying to wear boys clothes or play with the other boys. Actually, it was like quite the girly girl growing up. And about at the ages of 13 or 14, like I started to really. watch a lot of YouTube videos and like the pocket of YouTube and the pocket of social media that I had found myself in was the LGBTQ side of YouTube and of Instagram.

And it started out really innocently of just watching these creators making fun videos that like happened to be gay or bisexual. But a lot of these videos just kind of tumbled into videos about people talking about why they transitioned from from being cisgender to transgender and people's, you know, how many days on testosterone and all of that? And what a lot of these people had talked about in their videos is feeling like lonely or feeling uncomfortable. And that like they when they would speak about loneliness or they would speak about a hurt inside of them that was then made whole from transitioning. I really identified with that. And it was something that I related to in the way that I was like, you know, I always feel kind of uncomfortable in situations.

And I feel like there's something different about me that I'm not quite sure what it is. And so that was something that I would watch in secret because I was going to youth group because I was involved in a church because I went to a private Christian school. This is something I was watching secretly and watching a lot of in secret is no one really knew what I was observing on the internet. And so that was something that I would watch in secret. And it was almost becoming something that I secretly supported that I would go to church and I would go to school. And LGBTQ started to become a really popular topic that it was quite a pressing social issue that a lot of people were talking about in Christian spaces. And I would two people's face say, oh, you know, like I agree with what the Bible says. I agree with what people have taught me that, you know, God's design for me.

marriage is best and that God has a design for marriage. And then I would go home and watch these LGBTQ YouTubers and be like, all these Christians don't know what they're talking about, that this is people living their truth. And it wasn't until, you know, I was 16 years old and I had ended up in a public school where I was trying to witness to people around me and trying to be the light in those spaces, the only Christian, really, the only outspokenly Christian at my entire high school. And I had become friends with people who were in really unfortunate situations where they were maybe doing drugs or they were constantly out.

And I, you know, had felt that I was supposed to be friends with these people, that I could be a little piece of Jesus in their lives. Unfortunately, one night what that looked like is that I had gone to hang out with a friend of mine who didn't know Jesus who was starting to do drugs. and I had ended up at this house with her where she had invited some older men that I didn't know and she started drinking a lot. She was smoking and could no longer drive me home. She was my ride home and said, you know, one of these guys can drive you home.

And so I was driven home, supposed to be driven home by one of those men and he ended up not taking me home but sexually assaulted me that night. And because of that, you know, I really sank into myself and I told no one. I wouldn't even pray about it.

I wouldn't talk to anyone about it. This is something that I decided that night that I would put deep down to myself and tell no one. But it resulted in me becoming really uncomfortable with myself, with my body. And so, you know, I started to dress in a way that I felt protected me, that I never wanted a man to look at me

and see something feminine to take. I wanted to protect myself by hiding my femininity. in a way. And so because I told no one, because I randomly just started to show up in these spaces, I cut my hair short. I started to wear what would be called men's clothing. Like I started to dress androgynous. And what people saw in my school and in my friendship circle was someone who randomly started seemingly presenting as a boy. And so I would have teachers take. me aside and say, you know, what pronouns do you want me to use? You know, we support you. I had never once said anything about wanting to identify as a boy, but they would take me aside

and say, hey, we see what's happening here and what pronouns would you like us to use? What name would you like us to use? And so I kind of saw in that a, almost like a gateway to end up and a place that would make me feel better that would soothe this, this hurt, this trauma that happened to me. And I saw that, you know, these YouTubers, these creators that I would watch so much of their videos that, you know, they all had something in their past that was hard. And this seemed to work for them. And people are telling me, hey, this is what seems to be happening in your life. And it was almost told so much to me. And I in took so much of that media. I started to believe it for myself. I started to believe, you know, well, dip my toes. Maybe I'll tell people

that I'm non-binary and that I use they-them pronouns and maybe I'll start to dip my toes and maybe that will make me feel more comfortable. And I was really, really welcomed in when I started to do that. I had began to have more friends. I was a part of an LGBTQ club in my high school. And for the first time in my life, I started to feel like I had an identity that I could cling to. to that would open doors, open doors to friendship, open doors to making me feel like I had community. And so I really went full force into that. And I had ended up coming out to my parents when I was 17 years old. And I had told them, I'm going to identify as a man. I want to take hormones and I want to go by a different name. And you need to respect me and you need to, as my parents

change and call me that. You know, and there were moments where I would run away from home if they wouldn't call me by the correct name and the correct pronouns. So in a way, you know, someone that I've struggled with is in a way I really almost guilted my parents into support in that. And as soon as I left home, that's when I started taking hormones and fully going online, presenting and living as a transgender person. All right, quick pause to tell you about our first sponsor, it's WeHeart Nutrition. Y'all, I am pregnant. which means that I care more than ever what supplements I'm taking. This is my first pregnancy where I've been taking wee heart nutrition. I started taking them postpartum after my last baby.

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You're a part of youth group. You're a part of church. you were almost kind of living a double life, but at that point, it was online. You were just affirming what these LGBTQ creators were saying while also affirming what your Christian friends were saying. Is there a reason why you switched from Christian school to public school? Did your parents know that you were having like a change of heart? What went along or what was going on right there?

Yeah, absolutely. So the switch from going to a Christian school to go into a public school actually really had nothing to do. with how I was presenting or what I was consuming or even my own beliefs. So it was just a family matter that happened. But some of my parents were really excited about. They said, you know, with an opportunity to evangelize of like, you will probably be the only Christian kid at your school and I was. And it really did start out that way of like when I began in that high school, I was every

evening when youth group was happening that night, I was able to invite four or five new kids from my high school to come out to church that night while consuming these things and while being friends with a lot of people who were trans-identifying at that high school. And it really, really honestly did start out from a place of, well, maybe I can play both fields and maybe that's a good thing of maybe if I am supportive of LGBTQ while being a Christian, maybe that will result in a lot of celebrations. That if I say I'm okay with this and I go to church, that that will show, people that God will have you as you are and I'll be able to impact these people's lives that way. Yeah. I hear so many stories that are similar to yours that have to do with sexual assault

and a woman kind of wanting to run away from her female body because of that. Did your parents know that you were assaulted? I didn't tell my parents about the assault until I was 21 years old. And they were the first person I told is the first person, the, um, The first time that I told anyone about what had happened to me was when I was 21 years old. And that man actually lived in the same neighborhood as me. And I would drive past his house every single day on the way to school. And I told no one. Wow.

Another aspect of your story that I've heard time and again is that the affirmation, which you weren't necessarily expecting or asking for at the time from teachers, starting to ask things like, you know, what can we call you? what are your pronouns, that I'm sure probably started conditioning you to think, wow, this is kind of making me feel cared for and seeing and special. And maybe this is the direction you want to go paired with kind of the already thought that you had previously before any of this had happened that, oh, these people who are transitioning, they're able to find themselves and make themselves

whole. Well, now you're in this broken place and you have people saying, hey, if you want this new identity, we will give you a new identity. And that was probably really enticing in the moment. Yeah, absolutely. I think so much of it was, you know, the church that I was attending. It was really far away. And so it was hard to be fully into community. And we had switched churches a few times. And I think that I kind of felt the tension as a young teenage girl that so many do where, you know, I was just trying in the middle of trying to find out where I fit. and I think that right at the time that I had started to believe, you know, I don't have the same interests as the girls at church.

I don't seem to look like them. I don't seem to, like, we go to different schools. I think maybe I don't fit in here. And right when I started to feel that hurt is right when those teachers started to kind of affirm that, hey, like, do you want to join this LGBTQ club? like there's a space for you here. And so I think that unfortunately, I really believe the lie that, you know, that the church maybe wasn't the space for me and that this is where I could find my identity, that this is where I could find my community.

And when you told your parents when you were 17 that you were going to identify as a boy, how did they respond? You know, it was kind of one conversation I had had with my dad. and then it wasn't really spoken about for a long time. One evening I had come across a YouTube video called The Science of Being Transgender. And I had known that my parents did not support LGBTQ identity, that they believed in biblical truth and biological truth. And I knew that if I wanted to identify this way, that it would have to be a sort of slow warm up to letting them know that. And so I would slowly, slowly, you know, send them articles about why as a Christian you should support LGBTQ marriage or, you know, studies about, you know, it's actually best if you transition people if they're identifying this way.

And so one evening I had sent my dad a video titled The Science of Being Transgender. And he replied to that video and said, do you identify as trans? and I did not reply. And then moments later, I had sent a large text about, yes, this is the name I go by. This is what I'm going to do. This is how I identify. And he came to my bedroom and knocked in the door and said,

you know, you're still my kid and I love you and good night. And then it wasn't really a conversation again for four or five months. And it wasn't until I started to, you know, I would go online and say like, you know, I came out to my parents and they still won't call me by the correct name and pronouns. And, you know, of course, the assurance was, well, you need to stand up for yourself and you need to let your parents know that they can either have an alive son or a dead daughter. And you need to let them know that that's the options. And so that's what I did after four or five months, I would start not responding to them unless they would call me by the correct name. I would start lashing out at them if they wouldn't use the correct pronouns. And it actually really started to cause. a division in my family. And it was a really big problem. And it was actually a really hard time. At that time, my mom was actually going through cancer treatments. My parents were facing trouble in their business. And on top of that, they had a child that wouldn't speak to them anymore. Yeah. Wow. So that was when you were 17. You talked about even running away at times.

Tell me about the actual transition, starting to really be as much as you could try. a man. Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, I was living with my parents, obviously, when I was 17 years old, when I was a child. And, you know, when they first started to say, you know what, like, okay, we'll call you with male pronouns. We will call you by the name that you were trying to go by because it was really the only

way to create some sort of peace in our house. but they let me know, like, while you live here, we will not let you take hormones, that you will not be allowed. There was a lot in my province in Canada that a parent had to sign off on their child going on hormones. If that child was underage, thankfully, I really, really do thank you, thank the lawmakers in my province that actually put those laws in place. Because only a year before, we had had a government that had laws in place where a child could transition without their parents' permission.

And so at the time that I wanted to start medically transition, I did live with my parents. And the law at the time was overturned, and they did have to sign off on my transition. And thankfully, they said we were absolutely not doing that, that you would have to wait until you're an adult. because once you're an adult, we can't really, we can't really stop you, but we need you to know that we don't approve of this. And so as soon as I turned 18, I had moved out with an older boyfriend that I had at the time. And as soon as I moved out, that's when I started to medically transition that I met with a few psychologists. I said two or three things, and they signed off and gave me a prescription for male hormones. And I started to take those that day.

Wow. So you were just 18 years old and I'm guessing that your boyfriend was supportive of all of this. At this point, you had a lot of friends who identified as LGBTQ as well. And I'm sure they were all encouraging you in this direction. Yeah, absolutely. Even at the time where I was living with my parents and I was an underage child, I had plenty of friends that their parents actually volunteered in running the LGBTQ alliance. in our city. And so, you know, I had plenty of friends. I had a friend as young as 14 that their

parent not only signed off on them taking these hormones, but really almost encouraged it. And I had looked at that and been so envious and thought, you know, if only I had been born into a family that would support this, I'm envious of my friends that their parents allow this. So I would look at that. And when I would, you know, have these moments where I would run away from my house, I would go and I would see. stay with those friends. And those friends' parents would, you know, say really horrible things about my parents. And they would say, you know, look what our family has done for our transgender child. And we would never stop them from being how they were really made to be. And so that really

affirmed it further that, you know, at that point, everyone around me who identified as LGBTQ had not only pinned my parents as an enemy in my life, but had pinned my Christian up Brennan as a roadblock and an enemy in my life. That was very difficult. That was difficult. I was even told at times by my friends that were trans-identifying or LGBTQ identifying that I was a bad person because I still spoke to people in my life that were Christians. Okay, y'all, there is a very short list of universities that I would recommend to you. But Hillsdale, is on that list. They are awesome. They've got all kinds of online courses that you can enroll in. You don't have to be a student there and you don't even have to pay. There are 40 free online courses

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deem anti-trans content or Christian content? that like made you angry or how did you begin to react to things like that during this time? Absolutely. Absolutely. No, I came across a lot of that. I, you know, my sort of look into LGBTQ life was at the time where the Westboro Baptist Church was being put under spotlight. And even though I went to a church that was nothing like that, a church that, you know, welcomed with open arms. who wanted to learn about Jesus. I had almost consumed so much content. I would watch videos reacting to the Westboro Baptist Church

or I prank called the Westboro Baptist Church. And I'd watched so much of it. And I had heard people speak of it so much that I'd almost start to associate my Christian experience with an experience like that. So even though no one in my life had ever even really talked about LGBTQ very much and the things they said, you know, they were biblical truth where, you know, God has a design for marriage.

But they never spoke poorly or hatefully towards LGBT people. But because I consumed that comment, that because I consumed that content, it was almost like I had projected those extremist beliefs onto what I was actually seeing about Christians. And so I almost justified the beginning of the hatred towards Christians in my life because I would just say they're all like that. They are all hateful towards LGBTQ people where they'll call them hurtful things or they'll spell on them or they'll abuse them. They're all so intensely against me.

Christians are against me. It's an interesting thing consuming so much social media that can sway you in such a way because it's almost like I self-inductrinated, which is kind of embarrassing. Yeah. But it's an unfortunate reality that we see this actually happening a lot. So tell me about going on testosterone and that process. At first, did it make you feel good? It was actually really scary.

You know, at the time I was doing injections with needles and I would get really scared before. I would not want to do it. I remember at the time, you know, I still had a lot. lot of like feminine traits in my face. I actually really liked those. It wasn't so much that I wanted to look more like a boy. I think I just wanted to be called a boy. And I was frustrated that people would see me. And even though I had short hair and would wear men's clothing, because of my facial features and because of my voice, they would assume I was a woman. And so, you know, I was like, well, I just don't want to be called that. And so I'm going to take these hormones

so that I can look more like a boy. And I would go on and off these hormones over the next three years. I would start them and stop them and start them and stop them because as soon as I started to see those results, I would almost get scared. I would, you know, as soon as it almost started to show, that's when I would get scared and want to stop them. But then I would start them again as soon as people would look at me

and continue to call me a woman and continue to refer to myself as she. At one point, taking testosterone gave me such bad acne that my face, it literally hurt to talk because I had so much cystic acne at the time. And I had never struggled with acne before. And then, you know, the change was so quick that it was causing me physical pain. And not only that, but my voice lowering so quickly. I didn't know this, but it causes your vocal cords to actually thicken.

And a woman's throat is actually just not built for that. It's not built to have such thick vocal cords that it was giving me pain. And I had constant throat pain. And that's still a pain that I actually still feel to this day that after long times of speaking, it's actually like really hard on my throat. So yeah, it was on again, off again. And it was almost like the want from these results of this testosterone, as soon as I would get them, I would just stop and not want them anymore until I wanted them again.

So I would go on and off this hormones for like three years. And during this time, was this when you were building your platform on TikTok? Yeah, this would have been at the time that I was building my platform on TikTok. And I would, you know, I would get really happy when I would post it. videos and people say you know I've been following you for a year and you look totally different now like you look so good and so I got a lot of I don't know I got a lot of comfort in people telling me you know you are starting to look more like a man I never really would post videos exclusively about you know this is what like to

take hormones but I would make a lot of videos about my experience coming out and coming out to a Christian family and A lot of people would identify with that and we would have discussions like in comments and everything about how much, you know, it was like viewing it as an us versus them of like, you know, this is what we believe and this is what we're trying to come out of. And this is where our Christian family members, our Christian community or a Christian town is fighting against us and we need to band together as a community to, encourage each other to empower each other and kind of fight against that oppressive

Christian belief that oppressive Christian belief that we have. Yeah, so it was interesting. When things would start to get hard with taking that hormones of my face having like a lot of painful acne, I remember one time I had actually posted one video about it. I posted a video saying like one thing they don't tell you about taking testosterone, you're You're going to get such bad acne that it will physically hurt to talk. And that video actually got so much hate that I had to take it down where people are saying, this is dangerous because you're swaying people against taking hormones. Like, you're going to cause people to, like, this is going to inadvertently cause people to take their lives because these hormones save lives.

And so you really need to take this down because this is going to harm your own community. So I did. Yeah. So it's like in that community, you're not even allowed. to talk about the very real consequences, even though you weren't anti, you were just saying, hey, this is something that I've gone through, but your real life experience was not an okay thing to share, according to them. And you weren't just sharing about transgenderism and hormones. You also during this time got really passionate about other progressive causes.

You would talk about things like abortion and things like that. Can you talk a little bit more about just like the total worldview change and why you also decided to kind of take up these other causes as well. Absolutely. I think like I think so much of it so much of that story actually just has to do with safe internet use of you know like I really was raised by parents who of course didn't grow up in an internet generation that didn't know what it looked like to have devices in the home. And they really did a good job when I was younger protecting us of we didn't really have computers in the home. We weren't allowed to have personal cell phones. And of course, once I came to the age where I could sign my own cell phone bill, where I had a part-time job where I could go out

and purchase a phone. And I started to have that unrestricted access to the internet of you don't really realize how quickly you can fall in from I am a YouTuber, how. happening to make a video on the boy making a video with my boyfriend. And somehow that goes all the way into, I was consuming videos about anarcho communism. And I would listen to these podcasts about, you know, what the U.S.

government says about Russia, about China actually isn't real and that China actually really loves their government. And you're being brainwashed as Americans, as Canadians, and it, you know, it really is, it boggles my mind to look back, that that's actually where that started, that it started so innocently as me watching these YouTubers that I enjoyed that would talk about LGBTQ topics, that it fell fully down into, I was looking at anarcho communist content and really not only just consuming it,

but regurgitating it back to a massive audience. So it really boggles my mind of how quick that slope can be, of how much political ideology is tied alongside what can seem so internet. Sorry, what can seem so innocent of these videos on the internet, of people who just want to show them making their, outfit for a drag performance. But it really did start with that before it tumbled down into me believing these things because I was told, you know, this was in 2020 where I was told to not speak about these things and to not speak out was to cause harm. That it actually wasn't an

option that I couldn't even, it wasn't enough to just make the content that I was making. But I had to use my platform to speak out for the, these issues that a lot of people on the very left-leaning side cared about at the time. Next sponsor is Good Ranchers. We have been eating good ranchers in our home for over five years. I can't eat anything else. It's so good, so high quality. And I just love knowing that it's coming from American farms and ranchers.

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and you can see your profile, or one of your profiles, one of them might be Instagram or YouTube or something, but it says, he, they, 18, BLM. And so you were just, as you said, you felt like you were obligated to take up all of these causes, because that is something that you hear a lot in progressivism, that all, you know, trans liberation is also black liberation. That's why on the pride flag, you have the black and the brown.

They're all seen as like these, interconnected things and you have to be a soldier for all of these causes, including anarcho-communism. And of course, what we know from all of those movements is that they induce a lot of anger and a lot of angst and a lot of frustration. They don't actually bring the peace that they promise. And it sounds like eventually you kind of wore that out. Like you kind of realized, okay, this is not giving me the fulfillment that I thought that it was going to.

So talk about that. about realizing I haven't been going the right direction and oh yeah, this Jesus guy might have had something to say. Yeah, absolutely. You know, I had been creating videos online at one point even doing it as a full-time job. And I had gotten to this place where, you know, I thought I was just living the life where I had this boyfriend at the time that, you know, we were, you know, we were, because I was identifying as a man, we would actually present our relationship as, you know, this is two men in a gay relationship. And so I would show that online and I would live with him and make these videos all day. And, you know, it really started when I had discovered his secret alcohol use. And that relationship came to an end because of that, because there would be episodes where there would be drinking and driving involved. And I said, you know, I need to exit this relationship. But because, you know, our lives were so intertwined and because he was older than me

and because I relied on him for so much as I exited that relationship, I started. You know, I had a huge life change. And during that time, you know, I couldn't post as much because I was going through moving out and going through the thing, going through the hurt and the change of leaving a five-year relationship where or sorry it not a five-year relationship thank god but you know it was like a three-year-long relationship and going through the herd that i couldn't post as much and you know tic-tok is very much at the time it was very much you had to post every single day and so the views started to go down which meant that i wasn't getting as much money from sponsorships and it made me depressed and i was

sad and so i kind of stopped posting on the hole i decided i wanted to to get a regular job. And honestly, I think that I really struggled to get a job because I really held fast to the beliefs that there were a large list of companies that I could not work for because they were not outwardly supportive of LGBTQ. So I decided to get a job at Starbucks.

And I started just as a barista. And I started working there. And I was really at the period of my life where I would go to work and then I would come home when I would just sleep. And then in the evenings, I would go to these heavy metal punk shows that were about trans liberation. And so my life was really just depressed and sleeping

or work or at these insane shows. And I had made friends at my work that were also LGBTQ identifying people or just people that liked to go into these type of shows or liked the sort of party lifestyle. And so as I would work with them, we became friends. And one of these girls that I had been friends with at Starbucks, she starts asking me about Christianity and asking me what I believe about Christianity because she had said a friend of hers randomly gave their life to Jesus

and she was curious about it and she was curious to know about it. And so I remembered as she was telling me those things, you know, what do you believe about Christianity? What do you think of our friend that gave her life to Jesus? us. One night I actually called her on the phone and I warned her. I said, you know, I grew up in the faith and I know about Christians and they are actually these very like hateful people and you have to be so careful because they'll say all the right things and it sounds really great, but it's actually like very hateful movement that you have to be really careful because you'll fall into it and then

you'll start to believe all these things that are, you know, hateful towards not only LGBTQ people, but black and brown people. And I just would really hate to see you fall down like that. I would really hate to see you become that. So just be really careful. And I gave her that strict warning. And about a week later, she started to come to work and just being totally different. She had this unique joy that I had never, not only never seen in her,

but I had never really seen in anyone else. She just had this unique approach where she just spoke to everyone with so much love. And she approached every day with such positivity. And I remember one day I was speaking to her and I had said something, blah, blah, blah, oh, my God. And she stopped me and she said, don't say that. Do not use the Lord's name in vain. I said, whether are you a Christian now? And she was like, yes.

And so I was like, what happened? This is terrible. and I had gotten angry about it because I was like, oh, this is terrible. One of my friends fell into this. And then another one of my coworkers started talking about Christianity. And he said, you know, I went to this Christian camp where I worked at over the summer and the things they say are really interesting.

And I remember one evening when we were working together, he started to read the Bible to me. He said, you know, there's this one thing in here that's really interesting. Can I read it to you? and what he had actually read to me was Romans 8. And he had gotten to Romans 838, and something in my heart clicked where I had remembered that scripture from my youth. I remembered memorizing it in Sunday school,

memorizing it again in my Christian school as part of a Bible curriculum, and hearing it in sermons, and also having it spoken over me. And even though I had not thought about that verse in so many years, I could recite it perfectly back to him. And as he read it, I read it alongside him. And it just made me start to think.

I was looking at the way that Jesus was reflected in the lives of the people around me. And I started to wonder if that was what I needed. And slowly I became very sure that that was what I was needing, that I could no longer try to find happiness in followers or in followers. or in even a political movement or a community that I knew that it was deeper than that, that it wasn't just about community. It was actually about the state of my soul. And so I knew at that point that Jesus was the answer,

but I had told myself that there was no way I could ever be a Christian because I'm a leftist, because I'm transgender, and I'm not letting go of those things. And so I can't give my life to Jesus because Christians are, conservative stray people and I am not that and I will never be that. And so I mold that over for a long time and it made me feel very angry. I had so much anger in my heart because I was jealous. I looked at my friend that had given her life to Jesus so easily that she could just easily take on that title of Christian, that she could easily bear Christ's title and she just got to do that.

And I said, I want to follow Jesus. I want that for my life. I want to do that. I want to be made new. I want to be found in Christ, but I don't get to do that because I'm transgender. And I would just think about that over the next month. And I remember one day it just peaked where I was alone in my room and I was mad.

And I was thinking to myself, well, what would I even do to accept Jesus? Like how would I, what would that even look like to follow Christ? and I had remembered from my childhood of, you know, when people accept Christ into their heart, they just pray for it. And so I said to myself, you know, I don't know if this will do anything. And I bet Jesus wouldn't even really like me. And so I just prayed. And I prayed the prayer.

I said, you know, like Christ, if you would still have me, I want you come make your home in my heart. And right in that moment, the presence of God fell so. heavy in that room that I physically could not stand up, that I kept trying to get up and I would just fall on my knees and I just began to weep. And it was this weeping in a moment of almost mourning a life spent apart from Jesus because the feeling of Christ entering my heart and the experience of his love in that moment, just a touch of his love, made me mourn all the years I had spent apart from that. And I knew in that moment that I can never spend one day of my life apart from that ever again. And so I decided to follow Jesus that day. And I had texted that

friend that first came to work completely different. And I said, let's get tacos and talk about Jesus. And so we did a few days later. We just discussed, you know, giving our lives to Jesus and what life was going to look like walking in faith. And she sat me down and she asked me, does this mean you're going to detransition? And I said, no, never. That was the conversation at the time. Wow. Okay. So tell me what then happened from there, because obviously God did change your heart in so many ways, but specifically on that, you wanted to hold on to that identity forever, but eventually he made your grip loosen. Yeah, absolutely. When I decided to follow Jesus that day, I knew that I need to be plugged into a local church. And I was like, Christians go to church. That's what I need to do. But I was

afraid to step into a church because I had only taken hormones for about a year because I kind of still looked a little bit androgynous at the time. I was scared to step into a church because I was like everyone's going to know this about me. So I went and I cut my hair and actually went and I saw my doctor to get back onto hormones because I thought to myself, you know, if I'm going to join a church, no one can know this about me. So I have to go further into my transition so that people see me as male because I believe that not only, you know, does God want me to follow him, but he wants me to follow him as the man that he made me to be.

And to do that, I have to be what the Bible describes a man as. And I'm not masculine to fit that right now. So I'm going to try to fit that mold of a Christian man and then step into church. And so I had cut my hair. And I started to take testosterone again, and I started to attend a local church, and I really found myself there. I found people that loved me and cared about me and wanted to see me grow close to Jesus. And I remember I still had that anxiety of, but no one can know this about me because if they

knew me, they would kick me out of the church and they wouldn't like me. And that anxiety consumed me. And so I emailed my pastor after having had been at that church for about, a month and I said, hey, can you meet? And I had planned to tell him in that meeting, you know, you need to know about me that I'm transgender. And so I told him and his response was, you know, we're going to walk alongside you in this and tell who you would like to tell. And in the meantime, we just want to see you pursue Jesus with everything you have and we're going to walk beside you as you pursue Jesus. And, you know, I think so many people assume that me coming to faith and

then detransitioning was a work of Christians were repetitively telling me that this is wrong enough until I changed. But actually, I never had one person ever confront me about it. Never once actually did anyone say anything. I had one or two people ask and I would tell them the truth and when I'd say, you know, I am. Their only response was, I'm so glad you still come to church because that's hard. A lot of people wouldn't do that.

And I'm glad that you still show up at church. And it's so interesting. And it was a year of coming to church and pressing in and reading my Bible and following scripture where God started to do a work on my heart, where it was hard because I would read scripture like in 1st John 1, where it would say, if you love me, you'll keep my commands. And I knew that there was one place where I was not keeping God's commands, where I was going against his best for me. And I thought, you know, I'm just going to keep chasing God because that's all he wants.

All he wants is for me, love him, so I can love him as I am. And I remember one evening thinking to myself, I don't think I'm going to heaven as a man. I don't think that I'm going to stand before the throne room. I don't think I'm going to look at Jesus and I don't think he's going to see a man. I think he's going to see the girl that he made. I think he's going to see the woman, and I think he's going to welcome me by my name, not a name that I chose, but a name that was lovingly given to me by my parents, a name that he called me by for so many years. And I sat with that reality for a while, and, you know, I thought to myself, but, you know, like, this is my comfort after the hurt that I felt that, like, I just can't step back into that femininity. because look what happened to me when I presented that way.

And God never said, you know, I don't like this about you change. But he said, actually, I see what hurts in you. Actually, I see the striving. I remember he had told me I was so anxious after someone at church had texted me and said, hey, are you trans? And they were actually really loving in that conversation, but it filled me with so much anxiety and I was mad at God. And I was like, wow.

Why would you allow this and why won't you just let me get over this? Like, why can't I just reach a point where no one asks me about this? And he said, hey, I see that striving and that anxiety. Would you let me take it from you? Like, you were never created to bear this. Would you let me take it from you? So I surrendered it. And I said, Lord, this is terrifying.

I had a surgery. I took testosterone. Everyone at the church sees me and calls me as a man. This sucks. I can never go back. But I just decided to surrender that to him and say, Lord, do a work. Do something that I think is so impossible. Would you move this mountain? And so that day, I just stopped taking testosterone. I started to grow up my hair. I started to slowly tell people and God's really done a miraculous work. And what I thought would be taken from me, I thought, you know, I'll never get married. I'll never,

work in ministry, I'll never get back what the enemy stole. And the way that the Lord has not only restored and redeemed, but given back a double portion in my life, I just stand in all of what he's done in my life. Wow. And how many years ago was that? How many months ago this was? This happened in August. It has not even been one year.

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So you took testosterone and you also had surgery. And I'm unclear on how many surgeries you had or all of the surgeries that you had, but you did have a hysterectomy, correct? Yeah. At the time, so what I had was a hysterectomy where they took my uterus. as well as one ovary. And so they said, you know, you go on and off hormones. So we do still need to leave at least one of your ovaries intact.

So that if you ever decide, you no longer want to be on hormones, your body still has the ability to produce the necessary hormones like estrogen. And so that was a surgery that I had had. I was also on a wait list to get a double mastectomy. And so I had had that surgery. It just so happened to be that there were surgeons available in my area to do that surgery. So it was a fairly short wait list. I had booked that surgery and had it three months later.

I'm very thankful that the surgery I had that would have taken both of my breasts never happened. And it was such a long wait list. and laws started to be put in place where you had to be seen by more psychologists before you could get such a life-altering surgery. So I'm very thankful for that. Yeah. But I live approaching life, you know, as a woman who wants to be married, who wants a family, and will never be able to experience pregnancy and everything that comes with that with building a family. Yeah. Yeah. How easy was it for you to get someone to sign off on that? I mean, you were an adult at this point. I don't know how old you are, maybe 20 at this point. But was it just a matter of saying, hey, I want this done and a doctor saying okay?

Yeah, absolutely. It was incredibly easy. It was actually the first appointment that I had had, the very first appointment I ever had to talk about formal. they asked me within that appointment, would you also like surgery? And I had said, yes. And they said, we can give you a surgery that will remove your uterus so you won't get a period anymore. Sorry, how old were you at that point? Yeah, it was in my first appointment, they had asked. And I was 18 at that point. And they began to put in the letters of recommendation to have me have that surgery. And they actually offered it about five months after that initial appointment. And I got scared and I canceled it. And then when I was 20 years old, I had an appointment with my doctor where they would ask how the hormones were going, where they would ask me again. Hey, do you still want

this? We noticed that you had asked for it and then never responded to coming into any of the appointments and when I had said yes, that time around, it was about three months later that I would see a surgeon and go in for surgery one week later. And you just felt like you needed to do this as a way of affirmation. You didn't want to have a period anymore. You felt like a uterus made you more of a woman and you thought that it would feel better if you could be closer to what a man is like. Yeah, I felt that it was. was an annoying thing, I felt that, you know, I'm a man and I shouldn't be getting a period. And so this surgery will stop that for the rest of my life.

So this is something I need to do. This is something I should do because, you know, this would further show that I was presenting as a man that this would further, you know, where I could say to people who on the internet maybe were saying, you know, you're still a woman like years still have these parts and if I got rid of that that would bring me a step closer into how I'm trying to become. If you could go back and you could tell your five year ago self the truth, what would you what would you say? If I could go back and I could speak into the kid who was starting in this transition, who started to look at those things, I think I, I think I would just tell her to to trust in what the people around her say and to what her parents who love her say and also what God is speaking to her because at the time that I started to look at those things there was that conviction. And I think I would also say that God wants your whole heart, not part of it because I did have that point in my life.

where it was kind of living a double life, where I was consuming this content, yet going to church. And I thought that I could do both, that I could have one foot in the world and one foot in a kingdom world. And I would just say that there's so much that God can do if you would give him your whole heart.

And that following Jesus means he gets your whole heart, which means that he gets to rein over everything, which means he gets to do really cool things in every single aspect of your life. Yeah. I would love for you to kind of talk about the balance between loving someone, showing up with them, welcoming them, just saying,

look, I'm glad you're here. And also speaking truth, because you have this wonderful platform where you share your testimony, but you're also speaking the truth. Like you're talking the truth about the lie of truth, transgenderism, the deception there, the false promises that are presented there. And so you and I both agree in that there is value and just saying, hey, this is how it is.

This is what God has for you and your body and your identity. This is what the world has. God's ways are better. But at the same time, you know, you talked about going to church and where people weren't really pressing that issue with you. They were just loving you and accepting you. So can you talk about like how you navigate with all of your experiences, is doing both speaking the truth and love, but also just loving someone where they are.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Honestly, I think it really comes down to comfortability. I think that, you know, so much in loving people as Christians, we will love them as much as our comfortability allows us to love them. I think that we forget that the most loving thing you can do is to tell someone the truth. You know, I think of Jesus' warning. Matthew where he says, you know, if you lead one of these little ones astray, it's better to have

a millstone hunt around your neck and be thrown into the sea. So Jesus is very clear. It is not a loving thing to lead someone astray, to lead someone away from the truth. And so I think we shy away from those conversations so much because it makes us uncomfortable, because we're scared of what it would look like to sit in a conversation and say to someone, God has a best for you and his best for you is how he lovingly made you. It makes us uncomfortable so we don't have those conversations. And I think there's really an aspect where we have to realize someone's soul will always be more important than our comfortability. And I think that we're so scared that if we tell someone the truth, it's going to turn them away from Jesus. But I think if we look at the Bible and we

look at scripture and we think that we have to change certain aspects of it so it's more palatable to people. I think that we're not putting our full belief and trust in the power of scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit. And I think that if we think that we have to, you know, glamorize the gospel, that we have to package it a certain way so that people can receive it better. I think that we are doubting what scripture can do. And I think we just have to put our trust that this is the full complete work of God, that nothing about it needs to be changed or reworded or revamped, that we can trust. You know, I believe what it says in scripture that the word of the Lord will never return void, that you might sit in an uncomfortable conversation where you say,

hey, I understand that maybe you're a woman, you're in relationship with a woman. I think that God has a best for you. And I think the best design that God gave us in marriage was the example they gave us in the Bible, the only example, which was one man and one woman in Holy Union. I think that we get so scared of what it would look like to be in conversation with that, that we just pull back from it completely. And I would love to see in this cultural moment a boldness come over the church to speak truth and to realize that there's love and truth. Yeah.

Wow. And what is the restoration of the relationship with your parents been like in the midst of all of this? Absolutely. I think, you know, my parents really were learning how to love an LGBT. identifying child. And they did a good job of loving me, even though I strong-armed them. And I really appreciate the way that my parents chose love, and they chose to unite our family rather than, you know, push me away even though I was pushing them away.

And, you know, I think the way that my parents loved me and loved me through that period was such a reflection of God's love for us because they really did continue to chase me down, even when I strong-armed them. And now, you know, even, it wasn't even just a detransition that reconciled my family, but it was just me starting to follow faith that started to bring reconciliation. And it really was just the scripture about honoring your father and mother that pressed my heart that, you know, I'm going to disagree with my mom and my dad, but I need to start looking at what it would look like to honor them. And, you know, I find it interesting that scripture says,

honor your father and mother and you will live a long life. So it says if you do this honoring act towards your parents, not only is it just a good thing, but something that brings you life. And I really saw that as I began to try to live it out to, you know, I'm not going to disagree with them violently. in this conversation, but I'm just going to choose to listen and honor them. It started to bring life to me, and I really believe that that was part of the work God was doing to push me back and to right identity. And you were passionate, as we talked about, about things like abortion,

and has the Lord also changed your heart on issues like that? Absolutely. Absolutely. I, you know, so much of it I had to realize that I actually never even believe. leave that that fully, fully in my heart, I, you know, and this is maybe quite vulnerable. But I remember I had thought to myself during that time, you know, like I am a biological woman. Like I do still have the ability, you know, before I had a transitional surgery that stopped my ability, took my uterus and stopped my ability to have children. Before that time, you know, I would think to myself, I do have the ability to get pregnant. And I am living up side of God's truth. I'm living with my boyfriend at the time. And if I were to get pregnant

on accident, I could never do that. I don't think I could actually ever do that. And, you know, I believed in still fighting for it at the time. I was like, okay, well, maybe this really scares me. And I could never live with a decision like that, but other people should be allowed to. And, you know, God really had to reveal to me so much of these ideologies that I was fighting for, so much of it that I was saying I believed in really came down to pride, that it wasn't so much that I believed these things, but I just believe that whatever Christians stood for, I needed to stand for the exact opposite.

That if a Christian said the sky was blue, I needed to shout that it was red. And so if Christians are very, very pro-life and fight for the right of unborn babies, then I need to be so pro-choice. to fight for women's rights. And so God not only had to reveal that it was pride that was making me hold so firmly to these beliefs,

but it was also just me being lost and me not understanding where I really stood and not understanding God's heart in these things. And so as I began to look at scripture, you know, I first began to look at scripture still with that pride where I would say, you know, I'm going to be a really liberal Christian And I'm going to show that Christians, Christians are actually really cool.

And I'm going to sort of repackage that gospel. I'm not going to speak out against LGBTQ. I'm not going to say that I'm pro-life because I want to be approachable to these people that still believe in that. And, you know, again, back to that scripture in 1 John 1 that God really convicted me with, if you love me, you'll keep my commands. And so God had to show me and teach me through his word and through church. community that following Jesus is about laying down my beliefs, laying down my truths, and accepting his truths, that these beliefs aren't from the Bible and that if I'm picking them up, then I'm bearing the world instead of bearing my cross. Yeah. Wow. Healy,

thank you so much for just your vulnerability and for sharing your story with us. And praise God. He is so good and so incredible. faithful and I love how he's using your testimony and I just encourage everyone here because, you know, Satan doesn't like testimony shared. He doesn't like light being shown into darkness and spiritual warfare is real. I just ask everyone watching and listening to pray for Haley and to pray for all like her too. It is hard to leave your community, leave followers, leave the identity that you thought you had and was giving you fulfillment to give all of that up through the power of the Holy Spirit and to count it all as loss.

And so I just pray for you and that the Lord would continue to use you and strengthen you and emboldened you. I know it can be tough. So just thank you so much. Thank you for taking the time to come on and share your story. Thank you. Thank you so much for continuing to platform these stories because I know you've had conversations with detransitioners before.

But I appreciate the fact that you would continue this conversation. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. Thank you.