Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 1364 | War on Dads, Is Podcasting Preaching? & the Worst Pregnancy Comments 

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

Happy Father’s Day from the New York Times! Allie highlights a number of headlines from the outlet bashing fathers instead of revering them (even Mother’s Day isn’t safe). However, research has shown that children who grow up with present dads have far better outcomes than children deprived of a father figure. Shifting gears, Allie is joined by Al Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, to explain his Truth and Unity Amendment outlawing female pastors in the SBC. Last but not least, Allie covers what and what not to say to a pregnant woman. Do you have a question for Allie? Leave a voicemail at 844-755-5252 Share the Arrows 2026 is on October 10 in Dallas, Texas! Tickets are on sale now at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://sharethearrows.com⁠⁠⁠ Share the Arrows is sponsored by: A'del Natural Cosmetics: AdelNaturalCosmetics.com Range Leather: RangeLeather.com/ALLIE We Heart Nutrition: WeHeartNutrition.com Buy Allie's book "Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion": ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.toxicempathy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Time Codes 0:00 Introduction 3:09 NYT’s War on Father’s Day 21:57 Why We Need Dads 40:21 SBC President Justifies Female Pastor Ban 57:38 What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman – Today's Sponsors: A'del | Visit AdelNaturalCosmetics.com and enter promo code ALLIE for 25% off your first-time purchase. Seven Weeks Coffee | Experience the best coffee while supporting the pro-life movement with Seven Weeks Coffee; use code ALLIE at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.sevenweekscoffee.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get up to 25% off your first order, plus your free gift! We Heart Nutrition | Check out We Heart Nutrition at ⁠⁠⁠WeHeartNutrition.com⁠⁠⁠ and use the code ALLIE for 20% off. Alliance Defending Freedom | Every dollar you give to ADF by March 31 will be doubled by a special matching grant, only while matching funds last. Go to JOINADF.com/ALLIE or text ALLIE to 83848 to have your gift matched to protect brave Americans. Good Ranchers | If you go to ⁠⁠⁠GoodRanchers.com⁠⁠⁠ and subscribe to any box of 100% American meat, you’ll save up to $500 a year! Plus, if you use code ALLIE, you’ll get an additional $25 off your first order. Episodes You May Like: Ep 804 | My Mom on Mothering Toddlers, Teens & Adults | Guest: Lisa Simmons https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-804-my-mom-on-mothering-toddlers-teens-adults-guest/id1359249098?i=1000612674542 Ep 631 | Allie's Dad On the Economy, Fatherhood & Raising Christian Kids | Guest: Ron Simmons https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-631-allies-dad-on-the-economy-fatherhood-raising/id1359249098?i=1000566681855 --- ► Buy Allie's book "You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love": https://alliebethstuckey.com/book ► Subscribe to the podcast: iTunes: https://apple.co/2UVssnP Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2FwkXxj ► Connect with Allie on Social Media: https://twitter.com/conservmillen https://www.instagram.com/alliebstuckey/ https://facebook.com/allieBlazeTV/ ► "Relatable" merchandise — use promo code ALLIE10 for a discount: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey

Forget the war on Christmas. It's the war on Father's Day that we've got to pay attention to. Also, Dr. Al-Muller is here to clarify what is the function of a pastor that a woman cannot biblically fulfill. Also, did he really say he doesn't believe in female Christian podcasters? Also, at the end of this, we've got some lifestyle pitter-patter. Here's what you should and should not ever say to a pregnant woman. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers. Go to Good Ranchers.com. Use code alia check out. That's goodmanchers. com code alley. Hey guys, welcome to relatable. Happy Wednesday. Hope everyone has, is having a wonderful week and has had a wonderful week so far. We got a lot to talk about today. I first want to cover this war on Father's Day that is going on.

And look, I haven't talked about the war on Christmas and some of the paranoid things that Christians are accused of caring about. But truly, blatantly, grossly, there really is a battle against celebrating good fathers and good mothers too. Like, what does this say not only about our culture's perspective on the family, which we already know is completely degradated, but also just our view on the Amago Day, our view on the authority of all things, the creator of all things.

It really is that deep, y'all. It really is that deep. So we'll get into that. As you can see, I'm in a remote setup. I will be for the next couple episodes. Next week will be a little bit different. we'll have a Monday, Wednesday episode, then for the 4th of July. We will not be having an episode next Friday.

And then the next week, we're taking off for recording. So it's a vacation week for the relatable team. And we might be putting out some interviews that you haven't heard before that we have stocked up. Or we might be doing some replays, but just FYI, what's coming down the pipeline in the next couple weeks. Also, if you haven't gotten your share of the arrows tickets, women, we are expecting probably if the Lord wills to sell out. But looking at the numbers now, we are so far ahead of where we were this time last year by orders of magnitude. And so we have a 7,000 person limit. And if you have not gotten your tickets yet, I really do encourage you, go ahead and get them, bring your small group,

bring your mother-in-law, bring your mom, bring your sisters, bring your friends, whether you're a Christian or you're a skeptic. If you've never been to a Christian women's conference, or if that is like your thing, this is going to be different for you. You're going to love it. You're going to feel refreshed. You're going to leave with lifelong friends. It's going to be hard hitting gospel-centered and so edifying. If you go to share the arrows.com, you can get your tickets today. That's on October 10th in Dallas, Texas, Shane and Shane leading worship. We've got Elisa Childers. We've got Rosaria Butterfield. We've got Kosti Hin, a whole group of incredible speakers that I cannot wait for you to hear from. It's brought to you by our friends at WeHeart Nutrition this year.

So go to share the arrows.com, get your tickets today. All right. Let's look at what the New York Times decided to publish this weekend of all weekends of all things. Now, as I read you this headline, you might be thinking really in the year of our Lord 26, this is what the New York Times is talking about. I thought we were over this madness. I thought we realized and successfully stigmatized roping kids into being sources of affirmation for gender delusion.

But apparently there's, the expiration date on that has not come to pass at least for the New York Times. So just let me reach you what their most circulated story was from this weekend that apparently was supposed to celebrate Father's Day. To my daughter, the headline says, my gender was never complicated. Now, if you didn't dig up on this, this is a woman who has quote unquote transition. to being a man. And I say quote unquote because it's not actually possible. You can't change your DNA. That was already determined at conception, but you can tragically take off your breast. You can inject yourself with synthetic hormones, which are not good for your body at all. And you can present yourself as a man. And you can convince your children that the mother that they have is actually

a father. And because children are hardwired to please our parents and to make sense of the world, that they are in because they're so vulnerable and they have to orient themselves to make themselves feel safe and secure, that child will probably affirm, affirm whatever the parent wants. And so that is what this article is about. And it's filled with these like comic weird animations. Like you've seen this. This is like the progressive calling card. I don't know why they use this kind of animation. But you can see we've got what is supposed to look like a five. father and a daughter. It's the kind of cartoon, if you're just listening to this, that all of the limbs are really fat and the heads are really tiny and everyone kind of looks gender neutral.

It's aesthetically, objectively, objectively, very ugly art, which progressivism ends up devolving into ugliness anyway. That's just what happens when you deny truth. So you can see here, here's one of the comic strip things, I guess, if you can call it that. So the top says they, kids can move between complex topics. And then the text bubble or the word bubble says, how long did you have breasts for, dad? What a tragic, tragic line for a child to utter. The daughter is later shown at school with friends where a friend says, you can't grow a beard. You're a girl. And the daughter responds, my dad did. And he was a girl. And these children are like hanging from monkey bars. And this is.

post to prove that this is super simple. Or maybe it proves that it is so delusional that a child who still believes that there is a fat man that can circle the universe in one night, fit down their chimney and put presents under the tree, like that they believe it because they believe all kinds of fantastical things. It doesn't actually speak to some kind of transcendent truth just because a child believes it. So this entire article is about a woman trying to convince her daughter that she is really a man and that she is really a dad, which is really the opposite of what fatherhood is because fatherhood requires sacrifice. It's about putting your needs and your wants in subjection to what your child actually needs.

And so you are sacrificing, certainly your delusions, your most carnal desires, in order to serve your children well. And this woman can't do that because she will never be a dad. And this is what the New York Times chooses to highlight on Father's Day, someone who is not a father and who can never be a father. And hoisting this person up is actually the pinnacle of fatherhood. It's just meant to be subversive. It's meant to be as far from actual healthy fatherhood and masculinity as possible.

And that's really the point. It's really a humiliation ritual for men. It's really a belittling, condescending practice that is trying to say, look, like, men aren't really that important. Fathers are completely replaceable. Nothing that is innate within you is something that a child needs or that this world needs. You can don it like a costume and you can, you know, force it into your children and say that it's some kind of spiritual affirmation. who you're supposed to be. It really is just like saying two plus two equals five.

It's satanic. Goes all the way back to the beginning. All right. We have more examples of this. Let me pause tell you about our first sponsor for the day. And it is We Hard Nutrition, the very same lovely company that is sponsoring share of the arrows this year. I took my prenatals last night,

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The New York Times also has a podcast. And in their daily podcast, they did a Father's Day episode, and it was called Can a Bad Man Be a Good Father? In the interview, Geno describes discovering his father's collection of extreme porn and his father's romantic and sexual relationships with women, he met while selling handbags all while married. Here's that, saw two. The thing about my dad was he presented himself in a very, very much. very forthrightly sexual way. And it wasn't like that was simply for show. My father had an affair with my first friend's mother

when I was three years old. And I knew it. You knew it. I knew it. Somehow. Somehow. I knew that something was wrong. Something was off.

Something that made my mom unhappy. Okay. So in this, not highlighting a good father, I mean, from what I could tell, this is the, this is the only episode they had honoring fatherhood. It's an interesting question. Can a bad man be a good dad? Like I think of Tony Soprano. There are certainly moments when he was, I guess, a loving father to his, to his kids. But again, we're seeing something subversive. We're seeing something scandalous. We are presenting something. We are presenting something. or were being presented by the New York Times with this thing that you think is really bad or really awful or stigmatized, it can actually be okay, it can actually be healthy, could actually probably be good. There's another op-ed. Dads get postpartum depression too. Look, there's a lot of things that men can get.

There's a lot of issues that should be highlighted for the sake of men. Can, like, you just let us have this one? Can women have the postpartum depression? Can we just hold on to that one? there's another one, the pain of caring for a parent who abused you. So again, highlighting abusive parents, that's not to say it's not important to talk about that or to talk about people's experiences and having these very complicated and bad parents. It's fine to have those conversations, but I would like to see among that some positive stories

of what a great impact your dad had on you, how present he was, how much he loved you, how much he cheered you on and how that shaped you for the rest of your life. But we don't see any unapologetically positive stories about dad from the New York Times. Here's another one that I just find terrible. These are all in 2026. Okay. So these are all leading up to Father's Day. This is the road to Father's Day was paved with all of these stories about bad deaths. My father's death, this is a New York Times article, was the start of my life. It was written by a woman who gives an account of her relationship with her emotionally absent father and credits his death with understanding her own mortality. All right. So again, just subversive. It's kind of like that book by Jeanette McCurdy,

which actually was a really interesting and compelling book, but the title was, I'm glad my mom died. Okay, that's on her own personal story. I'm not saying that's a bad title. It's an interesting title and a very like interesting story of her life. But again, the New York Times, is only going to highlight things like this of, oh, your dad's death was a good thing because he was bad. There was also this piece and the Toronto Star, a modest proposal, why it's time to abolish father's stay.

It claims that the holiday puts an undue burden on kids to scramble to buy useless gifts. Now, this is a little bit of bait and switch. It's a little bit of clickbait because the author claims, like, the real gift is quality time. Okay. So if your problem is material, materialism. That's one thing or you just think it's a made up reason to buy Hallmark cards.

That's fine. But the title, we need to abolish Father's Day or we need to abolish Mother's Day. Another thing that I've heard in the past, due to some undue burden, that's just perpetuating this idea that celebrating fathers and positive fatherhood is not something that we need to do. It's just excessive and even oppressive in some ways. And then if you'll remember Mother's Day, We've had this conversation for the past two years. Why does it seem like Mother's Day is a day that requires so much coddling from companies? It's not that trauma around your experience with your mom is not legitimate or if you lost your mom that you shouldn't be sad about it or that it's not a sensitive day. It just seems like these companies go out of their way to say, you know what, anyone can be a mom.

No matter what kind of mothering you take on, it's all the same validity. it's all the same importance. And then also, you can opt out of seeing any kind of celebration of motherhood whatsoever. Not trying to be insensitive to the real pain that you can carry when it comes to bad experiences with your mom or dad. But also, like at some point, we just need to say, take my feelings out of it, my experiences out of it. That's my responsibility. I'll do what I have to do to protect myself that day or work through those feelings or heal. But the more important thing is that in general, mothers and fathers need to be celebrated. At the very least, these roles need to be celebrated. There's this article in Pop Sugar. No, Mother's Day isn't just about mothers, and here's why.

Instead of having the day revolve around only mothers, we should celebrate the mini fantastic roles all women out there have. So minimizing the importance of motherhood and being the giver and the nurture of life by saying it's basically the same as working at a marketing. company. It's basically the same as planting flowers. Those things can be good and they can glorify God, but they're not the same as motherhood. Last year, in a New York Times op-ed titled, My Mother and I Bond Over- Ignoring Mother's Day. The author celebrates the fact that she and her mother neglected the holiday despite big florist. All right. In May 2017, the Washington Post ran the headline for some gay parents, Mother's Day or Father's Day is awkward. So again,

centering the subversive or transgressive aspects of our society on a day that's supposed to celebrate the institution that has existed since the beginning of time. A Time magazine piece about Mother's Day a few years ago wanted to refocus the holiday, not on women who have children, but on women being able to kill their children. Not joking. Aubrey Hershey Hersch's article was titled, Flowers and Cards Are Nice. I'd rather have bodily autonomy. She wrote that it's the first mother's day since Roe was overturned. So again, I think this was 2023, it would have been. Why is this a problem? This is having serious effects on the lives of people who can become pregnant. People who can become pregnant. That's not just moms, according to Time magazine. Research by the Society for Family

Planning shows a sharp drop in the number of abortions in the six months after Roe v. Wade was over suggesting that many people who might have otherwise terminated a pregnancy, another euphemism there, killed their child, could not legally do so. So what's most important, according to this article in Time magazine on a day celebrating the fact that only women can get pregnant, only women can bear life, only women can mother, is that one, anyone can be a mom, girl or boy, mom or dad, or man or woman, and that the real pinnacle of purpose and motherhood is, is the ability to legally kill the baby inside your will. How did you damic is that?

In 2020, psychology today, a journalist there or a writer there argued that society should abolish Mother's Day altogether. Mother's Day is an unfair holiday to push upon the world, an unjust holiday to force upon people who have lost their mothers, lost a child, hate their mothers, hate their children,

want to be a mother but can't, don't want to be a mother and are societally shamed for it, thought they wanted to be a mother and realize, whoops, that was a mistake. Okay, these days are not meant to cater to every single subsection of society or every single person's trauma or emotions. That's not what these days are for. We are so unable to read something or to see something and say, that is true or that is good in principle, even if it doesn't apply to me. And this is not just true of the secular world. I see this every day online. Someone says something that is generally true or even, puts a million caveats on what they're saying and says, you know, this is what I believe. And I think that in principle, this is right. You'll get a million comments from people saying why their situation is the exception to the rule that that person just articulated. That is a narcissistic, me-centered way of consuming information in the world. Like I like to say on social media, if it's not about you, it's not about you. If what someone is saying doesn't apply

to you, then it's not about you. And actually, you will conserve a lot of your energy that is much better channeled towards other people or channeled towards your own joy and fulfillment if you don't exhaust it trying to explain away why one person's celebration or one person's observation isn't applicable to your specific situation. Like, you know, we talk a lot about therapy culture and how therapy culture has kind of infected the church in some ways and infected different parts of society. but it's like people believe that everywhere is therapy, that every person is their therapist and they just are dying to be understood in the most minute way. That's actually not a great

way to live. And I blame like which Disney princess are you quizzes, the personality test that we were all required to take in high school and college and not saying that there's no benefit to understanding yourself. But it comes like it comes with limitations with parameters. Like eventually you just have to de-center yourself and realize the world and Mother's Day and Father's Day and Christmas and all of these things that might make you sad, they aren't about you. And it also just speaks to our need for a Savior. Our need for like a source of joy, a source of purpose that is transcendent, that is outside of ourselves. I think it's exchanging the God of Scripture for the God of Self. When you worship the God of Self, you see everything through the lens of the God of self.

And it really steals your joy. everything becomes about victimizing you and sliding you. And that is a way to live that will impede your happiness. Ironically, because these are the people who claim to always be pursuing their happiness and doing what makes them feel good. All right. We'll get into more of that in just a second.

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I don't even know if it needs a modifier. But secular is a leftism, typically go hand in hand. It really is just a rejection of not only the created order and a rejection of things that have worked, a rejection of things that are true and good and natural, but also a rejection of the creator of those things. And so if you want to know,

like, why would you do this? Why are you trying to be so transgressive? Why are you trying to undermine what clearly has brought stability to every society and all of time? designations of male and female, the necessity of mom and dad, the strength of a cohesive nuclear family with mom and dad and children, all living under the same roof and working together. Why would you want to undermine something that works so well? Because everything is about rejecting the creator. Everything is about worshiping the creature and worshiping the self

and worshiping and following carnal desires. We've seen that in every single. We've seen that in every society that has existed for all of time. When you try to defy nature, when you try to defy God's moral truth, chaos ensues. Sexual chaos, which always ends in the victimization of children, societal chaos and corruption. Go back and listen to the episode that I did with Seth Gruber, and he talks about the history of this and how societies that embrace this kind of sexual confusion and depravity, especially once it is institutionalized, commercialized, normalized, glorified seen as good, that nation typically only has about 90 more years of survival. And the clock is ticking for us. And so go back, listen to that episode because super insightful.

The beautiful thing is for Christians, this doesn't have to be complicated. And in a world where I think a lot of people, especially children, as we saw in that first New York Times article, they're searching for clarity. They're searching for understanding. It's not that gender confusion and depravity is good and normal and right to them. They're searching for the truth. They just won't answer. So the reason that they simplify these very weird, complex things like, oh, a woman became a man and a mom became a dad is because they're seeking truth. They're seeking what is clear. and Christians have this wonderful privilege and honor. And not only that, but this responsibility to say it actually is really easy.

Not only is the science straightforward and easy X, X, X and X, Y, and the anomalies that exist within that just point to the fall and the fact that nothing is perfect on this side of heaven, but it doesn't negate the rule. The exceptions don't rewrite the rule of X, X, X, and X, Y, but theologically, it's clear. Like, it was so clear and so fundamental that, God put it in the very first chapter, the first book of the Bible, that we are made in his image, male and female. That means somehow kind of mysteriously, since God himself is not actually in a gendered body, that to be made male and female is to be made in God's image. And to be made in God's

image is to be made male and female. That's what Genesis 1-27 tells us. It's like God was like, you don't even have to read 30 verses before I tell you what's up. You all are going to be so confused about this. And if you end up denying Genesis 1.27 when it comes to marriage, when it comes to gender, when it comes to the existence of that institution to create and to protect children and to be the building block of society, you're going to end up messing up everything else too. It's a trickle down effect. And this is true whether you are a secular society, whether you're a Buddhist society, or whether you're a Christian society. But specifically within Christianity, you absolutely see that once you deny Genesis 127, that person almost always

ends up denying John 146. When Jesus says, I am the way, the truth, the life, no one comes to the Father except through me. That just ends up being the theological direction that people go in. because if you are denying the authority of the creator when it comes to biology, then of course you're going to deny the authority of the Savior when it comes to salvation. Why would you accept one that takes a lot more faith than seeing the reality of the biological distinction between male and female? You know, in talking about this whole thing about female pastors, which we're about more in a second, when we talk to Al Mueller,

my brother texted me something that I hadn't thought about when I was talking about this on Monday. We were talking about what the Bible actually says, what this First Timothy passage means when it's talking about, hey, women aren't supposed to be exercising authority over men in the local church. They're not supposed to be pastors. They're not supposed to be preaching and teaching to men. He says, my brother, Paul gives Timothy at 1st, Timothy 1, 18 through 20, one of the reasons why there shouldn't be a woman in this type of role. He tells Timothy that others who have not followed the instructions that he gives in the chapters that follow have shipwrecked their faith. This issue is no small issue. It wasn't to Paul and it shouldn't be to us. And isn't that

so true that when you see Christians start saying, well, you know, I just don't agree with that part of scripture. And I actually think that it's okay for a woman to become a pastor or whatever it is eventually they fall away in other ways too. I'm not saying every single time. I'm not saying that's 100% a rule. But Paul is saying, hey, people who haven't followed these instructions, which have been given to me by the Holy Spirit, they have ended up walking away from the faith that they thought saved them. That's really scary. That's a really big deal. And I hadn't really connected that previous verse to the verses later about women not exercising authority over men in the church. So if denying the gender differences within the church leads to chaos,

I mean, just imagine how much bigger the consequences are when it comes to society in general. When we look at how this actually manifests itself in legislation, one thing that comes to mind is this effort by New York lawmakers to remove any gendered language from state family law replacing terms like mother and father with gestating parent and non-gestating parents. See, the funny thing is, is that these progressives who simultaneously will be like women are so much more than wombs. There's so much more than just their bodies. There's so much more than just mothers. Well, they've now reduced us to our ability to have kids or not.

That's all that means, gestating and non-gestating, which I actually think goes to the biological brass tax even more than the terms women, men, mother, father. Okay. Just aiding parent, non-gestating parent. The bill is now on governor Kathy Hokel's desk awaiting her signature or veto. This is what happens. You know, we talk a lot about people who try to out nice God or out love God or out mercy God by disagreeing with him saying, oh, his dictates when it comes to sexuality and sin. Those are just too harsh. I think I can out mercy him and out compassion him. So let me try that and kind of apologize for God. Can't do that. God is love. First John 4.8. people also try to outsmart God. Like, ooh, what new fingled language can I use? What euphemisms can I use to try to deny this very blatant reality and reconstruct society in our image? You know, they tried to do something like that with the Tower of Babel and God confused them. And I see a lot of the reflections of that story in our world today that we are starting to use language that people don't even understand within the same country. And not because of a different in accents or a different in dialects or a difference even in our original primary languages.

But because of a difference in belief system, we don't even have the same language anymore. It's interesting. As G.K. Chesterton observed the men and women who, for good reasons and bad revolt against the family are for good reasons and bad, simply revolting against mankind. And that is absolutely true. When you look at the stats on fatherlessness, it is absolutely undeniable that God knew what he was doing when he created this institution. When he made Adam our first father, when he calls himself our father, we don't have as many statistics on motherlessness because it's a cultural anomaly. And the history of the world, it's pretty new, this phenomenon of children being raised motherless.

And why it's happening is not because suddenly moms are denying their maternal instinct. and they're no longer raising their children. Of course, that happens in a way through abortion. But children being born and abandoned by their moms, it's much rare than children being born and abandoned by their fathers. But we are re-engineering society by allowing two men to buy eggs and rent wombs and create these children and steal the children away from their mother and away from their gestator and to raise them motherless.

I mean, it's cruel. We talk about that all the time. we don't have the statistics on that. We probably will never have all of the statistics on that because it's politically incorrect. So about one in four children in America don't have a father in the home. One in four and the number of children living only with their mother has doubled in the past 50 years. Black Americans hit absolutely the hardest. I think it's about 70% of black children do not have a present father in their home. Historically, around 70% of incarcerated youths didn't live with both parents while growing up. According to an NIH study, children without fathers had poor social

emotional adjustment and worse adult mental health. One study of juvenile delinquents found that 66% two-thirds had experienced fatherlessness. This is true about sexual promiscuity, teen pregnancy. This is true about eating disorders, anxiety, likelihood of poverty, all of those things go up when you don't have a present father in the home. Not a perfect father, but a present father. on the hopeful side the fathers who are present are much more involved than they used to be in a study from april economic analyst aziz sundurgy um outlined how modern dads spend far more time actively raising their children than previous generations i mean this is true we've all seen this we've all experienced this with our husbands fathers today spend more time caring for their children than fathers did 50 years ago millennial dads do four times more child care than boomer dads did now some of that is probably because women are working outside of the home more. And that doesn't have a positive impact when all of these women are outsourcing their care to, you know, daycare centers. But we're talking about present dads. We're not just talking about outsourcing care to strangers. And dads be more present and doing more things with their kids.

It's a good thing. Dads who spend more time caring for their children report higher levels of happiness. Today, fathers prefer to care for their kids more than watching TV. That is wonderful. that's not something that you expected to see. I do think COVID had a lot of negative impacts, especially when it came to child abuse and things like that. But for the dads who have been able to work from home and really be with their kids and spend time with their kids for the past six plus years, they're like, yeah, this is amazing. I get a front row seat to like the best show ever.

And that is seeing all of these little moments that dads in the past have historically had to miss or in some cases have chosen to miss. Psalm 103.13 says, as a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? He disciplines us for our good that we may share in His holiness, Hebrews 12, talking about a father disciplining his children because he loves them and God disciplining us because he loves us over and over again. We see that a father's love is opposed to reflect God's love for us. Parents are to train up their children with godly instruction, train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old,

he will not depart from it. That is a principle. Obviously, that is not always true, but Proverbs is filled with principles. That it's better to do it this way because it's more likely to lead to this outcome. That's Proverbs 22.6. Here, my son, your father's instruction and forsake not your mother's teaching. So both mother and father there. It's not that parenting is only a mom's job. It's both of your jobs. You do different things in different ways, in necessary ways, but both the teaching of the mom and the father's instruction is necessary. For they are graceful garland for your head, Proverbs 1, 8, through 9. My son, keep your father's commandment and forsake not your mother's teaching.

That's Proverbs 6.20. And what we also read in Ephesians 5 through 6, typically what the secularists, what the subversives will point out is only that Ephesians 5 verse that we've talked about so much. wives submit to your husband. Oh, how oppressive, how awful. Well, that would have been very normal at the time. Women were seen as submissive. They were seen as in a submissive and a lesser role in many of these secular and pagan societies, even in societies where they're worshiping female deities in practice, women were not seen as full people. And so this idea of a woman submitting to her husband wouldn't have been radical. What was radical is that husband had to

love their wives' wives of the church. It wouldn't have to. have been radical for in Ephesian 6, Paul, to say, hey, children obey your parents. Yeah, of course they were supposed to. What would have been radical was the parameter and the rule of the chastisement given to fathers. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. Don't provoke your children to anger. That is a parameter for the dad. This was a time where men really weren't given these kind of of authority structures besides the government, besides by people more powerful than them, to treat those weaker than them with dignity and with grace and with love and with gentleness.

Colossius 321 also echoes this. Fathers do not provoke your children, unless they become discouraged. That's because the father's word and the father's discipline and the father's instruction, his actions, his disposition, his mood, his facial expression has a huge, effect on children. Again, not looking for perfect fathers or perfect mothers, but present ones, loving ones. That is why it is so important for moms and dads to submit themselves to the Lord, because we can't do it on our own. On our own, we become these crazy New York Times headlines

that are denigrating fatherhood and motherhood. We become very confused. We become very selfish. We become very angry. We become very overstimulated. And we excuse ourselves for all kinds of failures his people and his parents. We need the Lord and we need his grace. And gosh, this country does too, because we are very confused about very fundamental things. You can't outsmart God. You can't out kind him. You can't out wisdom him. You can't out science him. He created all of it. And the most loving thing that we can do as Christians, if we believe God's ways are better, if we believe he is love, is to be agents of this clarity in a world of chaos, to push back against the darkness, forced motherlessness and fatherlessness, the denigration of fathers and mothers started in our own

homes, how we treat our spouses, how we talk about marriage, how we talk about children, how we talk to our children. That is true if you're single. You got a bunch of single friends in your Bible study who don't like the idea of children or get easily annoyed or have feminist mentalities about getting married and having godly marriages. Maybe you're the voice of truth in that group or at work with your friends, with your family, whatever it is. You can be an agent of clarity in this world of chaos. And God does great things through that obedience, even if it seems small right now. All right.

Speaking of the truth about gender roles and how this matters within the church, I want to talk to the author of this constitutional amendment that is still up for a vote next year in the Southern Baptist Convention, Dr. Al Muller, about what actually went down and why it matters. it'll be a short conversation, then we'll have some lifestyle pitter-patter about pregnancy at the end. But before we get there, let me pause, tell you about our next sponsor for the day. And that is seven weeks coffee. I love seven weeks coffee.

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Go to 7weekscoffee.com code alley. That's 7weeks coffee.com code Allie. Dr. Mueller, thanks so much for joining us again. You know, one of the questions that I've gotten is we've talked about your truth and unity amendment, even from people who agree with us, about this role of pastors being exclusive to men, as outlined so clearly in scripture, is what exactly the word function means in this constitutional amendment? Yes, to office, but some people seem to be worried that the word function will be. to all-encompassing. So can you clarify, like, what is meant by that? What would qualify as a woman occupying the function of pastor in a way that is unbiblical? Well, you know, when the language is

seen in what the SPC has taken the first step to adopt, it says function specifically preaching to the gathered assembly. So this goes back, Allie, Beth, and it's so good to be with you. it goes back to historic Baptist confessions, and in particular, it goes back to 1689. So, of course, I want it to be the most classic Baptist language, biblical language, that Baptists can muster. And that confession makes very clear that the pastoral role is both an office and a function. And I'll tell you why it's necessary. It's because right there in the state of Texas, you have had churches that have had women preaching on Sunday morning and not called them pastors. So if we don't say that that specific function is reserved according to Scripture to men as qualified by Scripture, then we basically are leaving a barn door open.

And so, in other words, the entire office of pastor, overseer, elder, is reserved for men as called, not for all men, but men is qualified by Scripture. And the function, the specific function of preaching to the gathered assembly is reserved to those men. Did that make sense? Yes, it totally makes sense. And if you don't put function in, then you could have people who say, well, she's not called a pastor. She's not called an elder. She's not called an overseer. But if she's preaching to the gather assembly, that's what the pastor is to do.

You know, this conversation kind of got lumped in with an answer that you gave on your podcast to a woman who had written in asking. what about a woman in our church who doesn't occupy the office of the pastor, but she is answering questions about the sermon on a church podcast. I remember I got some messages about this from some people saying, oh my goodness, can you believe this podcast? And I listened to it. And I was like, that's it. That's what people are worried about. Your answer to that seemed very clear and very limited to the situation that this woman had asked about. But could you talk about that a little bit more? maybe expound upon that, why in this situation is a woman that's a member of a church expounding upon a sermon for the church?

Why would that be considered something that is outside of a woman's authority in the local body? Well, let me say, first of all, I really appreciate you bringing this up. And I can also say that there's, you know, you can teach an old dog new tricks. I did not see the timing coming between that particular question and the SVC action. there was no premeditation there. But the bottom line is, is that the woman who wrote the question, it was a woman who sent in the question. She was troubled because this was presented as an explicit extension of the preaching ministry of the church. So in other words, it was an incredibly specific context. And so I just wanted to answer, if you set the context as the continuation

of the sermon more or less, well, then you, I'm just going to say, obviously, I wasn't speaking to Christian women doing podcasting. Otherwise, I wouldn't be so glad to be with you today and so thankful for you. That's not at all what I was talking about. It was a specific situation. And yeah, I stand by my answer, because if you're going to say to me, this is a continuation of the church's preaching ministry. That's what it's presented as. Well, you just answered your own question. I don't think that's what's taking place in most podcasts. And by the way, I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman in particular, you know, responding to a sermon. But it was, it was clearly in what was understood to be something of an official teaching role. So, you know, usually when you have a question like that,

the answer is implicit in the question. Right. So I hope I've been, I hope I have clarified and not further, you know, confused the situation. If you're going to say that what we're doing on this podcast is continuing the preaching ministry of the church, you just answered your own question. I'm clearly not talking about women on Christian podcasts. That was not even in my imagination when that's what held the question came. No, it was very clear in the context of the question and the context of your answer that you were talking specifically about this woman's question. And to me, it was very clear that you didn't go beyond that in that answer.

And if that was something that you believed about podcast in general or about Christian women in general, I don't think that you would be afraid to say it. but you were very specific in your answer. But as things go, things change and more fun social media, all different kinds of things end up happening. And yeah, the timing. The timing was interesting. It got kind of lumped into the whole conversation about women preaching and pastors and

about this specific constitutional amendment. Reiterate to us again why it is important that it's not just what we read in the Baptist faith and message, which is very clear from 2000. in that only women are supposed to be pastors, but that this actually becomes a constitutional amendment. Well, the Baptist faith and message statement is very clear that the office of pastor is limited to men as qualified by scripture. So again, it's not all men, what the New Testament reveals is those particular men

called to fulfill these roles, but not women. And that's in the sovereignty of God. I think the vast, and I do mean capital letters vast majority of Southern Baptists, are absolutely clear on this. and their churches are clear and in right order and in right doctrine. The issue, though, is that the Southern Baptist Convention is an assembly, and you have people from thousands and thousands of churches. And honestly, in any large group, you've got to be clear about how this is applied.

And so, you know, Ali Beth, 30 plus years ago, the Southern Baptist Convention was confronted with the real challenge of the LGBTQ revolution. And so the Southern Baptist Convention, more than 30 years ago, just put in the Constitution, a definition of a church in friendly cooperation with the SBC, as one that takes no step to affirm or to legitimize or in any way, make a positive statement about LGBTQ issues, behaviors, relationships, etc. I just want to tell you that that was not a right, it was necessary, and it has been incredibly efficient for the SBC. There has not been a debate on the floor over these issues at the Southern Baptist Convention for more than 30 years,

years. And I think that's a tremendous achievement. That is exactly the achievement I want through this constitutional amendment so that the issue on the role of pastors and in men serving as pastors, that that is a constitutional issue so that it should free the SPC from having to deal with this on the floor every year. Next sponsor is Alliance Defending Freedom. Y'all, I love ADF. That's why I have them as guests on this show so often because they are doing such great work. I am always looking to partner with them in any way I can. They are serving on the front lines, not just in the U.S., but around the world protecting Christians' rights to speak up, to live out our faith in our business, whether we're an elected official mom trying to adopt kids from the foster care system,

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thanks to a special matching grant. That's join adep.com slash alley. One thing that has surprised me and some of the pushback that I've seen is that it doesn't just come from progressives. Those who deny the reality of gender altogether. I've seen some people that are politically conservative, even in some ways,

theologically conservative, really push back against this, push back against the entire idea that women can't be pastors. And they'll appeal to some form of scripture. And they'll say that these commands against women preaching in the church, that they had to do with something extremely culturally specific

at the time, that it's not a general principle or a general regulation for the local body. And these are people, like I said, ways. But when it comes to this, have a very progressive interpretation of scripture. You know, don't end up following the rest of the verse, which actually goes all the way back to creation for the reasoning why women should be exercising authority over men in the church.

I'm sure you've seen lots and lots of arguments like this for decades. They're not really new. But what is your response for pastors even who say, you know what? That's just because women were yelling at the time. It was specific disorderly context in that. culture has nothing to do with today. Ali, Beth, I so appreciate the question and the two dimensions of it you ask. And so let me go first to the explicit biblical text. And here's where we have both a positive and a negative. So we have in scripture very clear setting out of the office of pastor.

So think of 1 Timothy chapter 3, Titus chapters 1 and 2. And look at this. And you'll see that there's the positive statement, the objectively, just absolutely crystal clear statement of the men who are qualified for these posts and with extended biblical texts. But you also have very clear text and you make reference to it. You know, for instance, the Apostle Paul, he doesn't just ground this in a local church problem. As you rightly said, and this is so key, he grounds it in creation order. So in other words, he makes the point. this is not an episodic, particular, eccentric local church issue. This is a creation order issue,

which is to be reflected in the order of the church. There's a second to mention this I want to mention, and I've been at this for a very long time, and I will just tell you, and I will stake my reputation on this. The way of interpreting the scripture that is necessary in order to get around those very clear texts, limiting the teaching office, office to men. There are all kinds of, I would say, liberal mechanisms to try to get out of that problem. There are the same mechanisms that authorize LGBTQ issues in direct violation of scripture. And so I'll just tell you, you look historically at the denominations that have moved to affirm the ordination of women. Overwhelmingly, they're the denominations that one generation

later approves the LGBTQ agenda and the rainbow flags out front. And it is because the pattern of biblical interpretation of getting around the text in order to meet a cultural end, that is a parallel process. And I know it infuriates some people for me to say that, but I'm sorry, we've got decades of experience to know that that's exactly what has happened. And, you know, I think there are some people who just don't like saying no. And so I'm just being blunt here. They just don't like saying no. But, you know, I think we need to recognize the scripture often just says no. You know, even in the Ten Commandments, you shall and you shall not. Obedience includes the shall nots as well as thou shales.

Yeah. Gosh, that's absolutely true. And it all comes down also to how we read scripture. Do you read scripture thinking, what can I get away with? How can I finagle this in a way that is going to allow me to ultimately do what I want to do? You could do that for a very long time and find all kinds of seeming permission slips. if your goal in life is just to follow what you want to follow. If that's the case, then Christianity isn't for you.

It's not for any of us who want to do that. But if we read scripture, which it's a process. Sanctification is a process in reading scripture like this as much as we possibly can, but asking the question, how can I glorify God the most? How can I do the holiest thing? Not just what is God telling me not to do, but what is God telling me to do? Then that actually, you know, some people see that as restrictive. it's actually the most freeing thing that you can do. And I think it's the best and the safest way to regard

scripture. Otherwise, we play a game of trying to figure out how we can sin, but make excuses for it. No, Ali Beth, I think that's exactly right. And I appreciate the very, you know, gracious but clear way you set that out. Let me also just say, you know, I, this past Lord's Day was at our church, Third Avenue Baptist Church in the Louisville, Kentucky, sitting with my wife in worship and with this wonderful congregation. And we're looking around, and what we see is a recapitulation of creation order. And it is ordered by scripture, ordered by gospel. You know, the building is full. And by the way, of overwhelmingly young adults, and of husbands and wives and mothers and fathers, and they're just all gathered together. And I just want to say, holding fast to biblical authority and to the biblical pattern actually produces enormous health.

why in the world would evangelicals want to follow the way of mainline liberal Protestantism, which has been nothing more than the dust of death and disaster? I just want to say, and so unless we say no to that future, then we're not saying no to it. I mean, that's the problem. I think what you're pointing to is there's some people who don't want to take responsibility for saying yes, but they will not take the responsibility to say no. And I think the vast majority of Southern Baptist just need to understand right now. We need to say yes to all that scripture affirms and no to all that scripture restricts and then go on with Christ's business. Amen. Amen. Dr. Mueller, thank you so much. Thank you just for your clarity and for your courage for being an example in clear, articulate,

and brave communication for so long. I'm just so thankful for you and your leadership and continue to pray for you. And I'm just very, very grateful for the impact that the Lord has through you. Allie, best, so kindly said, and I'm so thankful for you. And God bless you and your family. Thank you. You too. All right, y'all, last sponsor is Good Ranchers. They've got a great deal going on right now for America's 250th birthday.

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halfway, but this is my fourth pregnancy. And you know that the more pregnancies you have, the more you pop sooner, the sooner you pop, I should say. And you just, your your belly just looked bigger than it did when you had your first pregnancy. And so you're like, I'm sitting there thinking, do all of these people think that I look 30 weeks pregnant? Oh my gosh, I look so much bigger than I should. I haven't worked out as much as I should. I'm like beating myself up for that, not eating as healthy as I should. And oh, I said this was going to be different. All of these things swirling around in my head, okay, feeling very self-conscious and secure my own issues. Now, some of it is valid because when you are pregnant, there is a segment of the population that abandons all

filters. Okay. And you know how toddlers, when you pass by a person like in a wheelchair or a person with disability, say a person doesn't have an arm or doesn't have a leg and they'll just stare at that person? And you're like, oh my gosh, my child is just like gawking at this person. I'm trying not to make a scene, but how do I say? Yeah. It's the same way when you're pregnant for a certain segment of the population. It is stunning to them. It's like they've never seen the species before. And they will say things to you. They'll just make comments. And sometimes it's well-intentioned. Other times just like, did that really just come out of your mouth? Most of you pregnant women, if you've been pregnant before, have probably experienced something like

that. And so at this point, I start to like anticipate things that people could be saying. And as I'm about to leave the gym yesterday, this sweet lady doing a wall sit stops me. And she looks at my belly and she looks me in the eye and goes, you look so pretty. Pretty? Pretty? That is literally the last thing I was thinking about myself. The last thought I had about myself in my head was that I looked pretty in that moment of all the adjectives to describe me in the gym, no makeup on with my hat on, feeling. about 35 weeks pregnant, even though I am not even close to that. And this lady tells me,

I look pretty. And so that is my, that's my encouragement to myself, but also to all of you out there. Not all of you, only women. This is only for women. If you are a man, please don't take this advice unless you are talking to your wife. But if you are a woman and you see a pregnant woman out there, especially a woman who is in the third trimester past where I am, but she's waddling through the grocery store. She's huff-puffing in the gym. I want you to stop her. And I want you to tell her, you look so pretty. The oxytocin will probably fill her body in that moment and she will just go into labor because she will be so happy to hear the last thing she was thinking about herself. And there are some things that I just want to help you out. Maybe some of you older related bros out there

who might feel tempted sometimes to say things to pregnant women. I just want to, it's not just, it's not just men at all. I have been told crazy things by people, some like public figure. is backstage at speaking events who have said things. I'm like, I won't, I won't embarrass those people, but people say crazy things. So let me just give you some examples of things that you should not say and then things that you absolutely should say to pregnant women. Okay. And this is not a pregnant women are so sensitive and you need to be, you know, extra just like gentle with them, but you probably should. And we are like a little bit sensitive. And that's okay. But also this is just basic manners. Okay. So here are some things.

to never, never say, never say, never ask if there's more than one in there. Don't do that. Are you sure there's just one? Have you asked the doctor? And you know what? Janet, you can come with me to an exoner appointment if you're curious about that. People used to say that with my first. I always get large and in charge when I'm pregnant. Okay. So you all can just anticipate that if this is your first time being around pregnant alley. Um, you there's got it or you've got to be almost there. That's another one because you might say that and she's like 28 weeks pregnant. Okay. She's not almost there.

Don't even say it. Don't say it. You've really grown since I saw you last. No, that's something that you could say to your five-year-old nephew. It's not something that she's say to a pregnant woman. Okay. And this next one, I wouldn't say unless you're close to this person. Okay.

And you talk to them regularly. Don't say this to the stranger at the grocery store. You hanging in there? Because she might be like, wow, I took a shower and brushed my hair this morning. I put on a little makeup. I thought I was looking great. And this person just told me I look exhausted. Another one, don't tell someone they look exhausted.

That's just general. But don't tell a pregnant woman, you must be exhausted. You must be so tired. I personally just would not express unless you know them. Intense sympathy for that person. Okay, because that just makes them feel bad about themselves. It more tired than they already are. Don't tell them they look.

tired. You know, before I announced, I was getting very obvious that I was pregnant, okay, because I was like 20 weeks when I announced. And I posted a video from a speaking engagement, and which was very obvious that I was pregnant. And I wasn't worried about people knowing I was pregnant. I knew that we were about to announce in a couple days and that was fine. But the things people said to me, I'm talking people who are fans of relatable, message me. You should fire your stylist if you're not pregnant. Um, you're, either a pregnant or that dress should never be worn again. You should throw that dress away, basically saying if you're not pregnant, you look really fat in that dress. Now, tell me,

sweet ladies, why you would ever utter that to a human being. If you cannot picture yourself coming up to me in person and saying that, you shouldn't say it. You shouldn't say it. I want you to think about, okay, if I saw Allie in public, would I say this to her face and would she have a positive reaction or not just me to anyone. If you would not go up to someone and say that in church, hey, if you're not pregnant, you should fire your stylist. Don't say it online. Come on. This is like basic social interaction. Okay. So just don't say things like that. Don't ask someone unless you really, really know. It is like abundantly obvious and you know the person if they're pregnant. Phil Robertson used to tell this really funny story about how he asked a woman at some

like family engagement when she's due or if she was expecting and she was not expecting. So now I think the first time I met him, I was literally like eight or nine months pregnant. He didn't say a word. He did not say a word about it because he was like, I learned my lesson. You just never know. I was feeling good about myself at one point postpartum. I went to an exercise class. And I was not at all overweight.

And anyway, this was after my third. But I do have some diastasis recti. And so, you know, the stomach kind of curves out a little bit because of that. And the instructor afterwards, like, I was feeling good. I was feeling pretty strong. I was feeling like, yeah, I'm back working out. The instructor afterwards was like, oh, my goodness. Congratulations.

How far along are you? And, I mean, the color drained from her face when I was like, not pregnant, not. pregnant. She tried to save it, but you really can't save it after that. Can you? You really can't. So I would just not do that. Now, I feel pretty comfortable as a woman and as a mom myself. If a mom, like if I'm in an interaction with her and I don't know her and she is very, very pregnant, and I can tell it is pregnancy to say like, oh my goodness, what are you do? That's so exciting. But I, you really have to like test it out. It has to be the proper circumstance. It's always an option to say nothing. There's nothing wrong with saying nothing. I just want to say that.

But if you are going to say something, this is what I would, these are the options that I would say. I wrote some things down. You look so pretty. That woman, she will have a place in my heart forever. My husband tells me I look beautiful every single day, multiple times a day, which obviously means a lot to me. But everyone knows that a compliment from a stranger at the gym, you're like, whoa, that's really going to speak to me forever. It's going to carry me through the rest of the to this pregnancy. Another thing you can say to someone, especially if she's got a lot of kids running around with her and she's pregnant, you are so blessed. I am thrilled for you. You are glowing. How wonderful. Your baby is so blessed to have you as a mom. You look so peaceful.

All of this is better than saying, you're almost there. You got this. Or you have your hands full. That's not always wrong to say, but sometimes it's interpreted as like, why did you have this many kids? All of these positive things are better than gawking at them. You can say, what incredible blessings. You're an awesome mom. If you clearly see, like I've done this in an airport before, if I'm traveling by myself, if you see that a mom is really struggling. She's got her, she's got all of her luggage. She's trying to open doors.

Just open the door for her, grab something for her. like, you're doing a great job. You're doing a great job. Not, oh, my goodness, are you okay? Because then they're like, oh my gosh, do I look stressed? Do I look exhausted? She's like, you're doing great job and open the door for her. Okay. It's always an option to do or say nothing. But if you feel the urge to say something to a mom or to a pregnant woman, these are some good things to say. I don't know why our filters go away when we see pregnant women, even me. Sometimes I'll see a pregnant woman and I just feel the urge to be like, how far long are you? Oh my goodness. You look tired. I don't know why. I don't know why. We shouldn't. We shouldn't. Just only say positive things.

Okay. Thank you to the woman who told me that I look pretty in the gym. That was so sweet. All right. That's my advice for you today. Go tell a pregnant woman that she's pretty. I'll see you on Friday.