Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 159 | Missy Robertson

Episode Date: September 6, 2019

Missy Robertson of "Duck Dynasty" and founder of a jewelry line, Laminin by Missy Robertson, joins me to discuss motherhood, faith, and running a business that helps struggling women by giving them a second chance.

Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. I'm so excited about today's conversation. I'm talking to Missy Robertson of Duck Dynasty. She has a lot of other roles too. We're going to talk about motherhood. We're going to talk about the business that she runs. She's going to give us some advice, whether you are a new mom like I am or you have been a mom for many years or you're a dad. She also gives us advice for godly marriages. She is doing so much. I'm really excited for you to get to hear the conversation that we're going to have. Missy, thank you so much for joining me. Thank you for having me. Yes. So I am sure that everyone listening already knows who you are, but just in case, could you tell everyone who you are and what you do, all the things that you do?

Oh, goodness, gracious. Well, they're probably going to know me best for Doug Dynasty. Yes. So I'm married to the best-looking one, so that should explain itself. There you go. The one with the beard. I'm married to Jace and we've been married for 29 years. Wow. I'm an old fogey. I think of myself now. So we've got three in college and one still at home.

Wow. And you also have a company as well or an organization. I'm not sure how you exactly describe it. Laminin, correct? It's a company. Yes. It's a business. Laminan by Missy Robertson is a jewelry business.

And that's what it looks like. And that's what category is in. but it's really only about helping women who are in need of a new purpose. Jewelry is just what makes it look pretty and how we do that. Yeah, I want to talk about that a little bit first because I think that this is an awesome mission. Like you said, it is a company, but like you said, also, it is a mission for women who are in need and need that purpose.

So can you talk about how you started this and how it's grown since you started it? Sure. We've always been mission-minded. I say we as in my husband and I, my family when I grew up, and even Jason's family. So we've always wanted to look out for those people who needed that extra little spiritual guidance and help. However, this background of the women that I'm helping now, I knew nothing really about

because they are coming from backgrounds of drug addiction, homelessness, self-trafficking, alcohol abuse. So there were many factors that led these people to me, ones that I did not see coming. So when I first wanted to start the jewelry business, it was just something. on the side that a friend encouraged me to do during that dynasty. And when I asked Ms. Kay, okay, now we've got this set up. We've got supplies ordered. If you know of any women, because she works with some women too at church, that need an extra side job, part time or whatever, send them to me. She sent me six women that were all post-drug addicts. Wow. That really could

not find a job. And when I realized that, I thought, this is so sad because these women are turning their lives around. They're sober at this point. They won't stay sober. So why don't I just give them a chance at this? And that's really what it went to. It went to really not thinking in that direction to now that's the only thing that Laminin is about. Really. So it started out as the jewelry business. It kind of ended up as both the business and the mission, something that you didn't necessarily intend. And how long has it been since you started it? We've been in business a little over three years. Wow. And tell me what you guys specialize in and where people can find you and what they'll find when they go. Becky, you can go to the name of our company, L-A-M-I-N-I-N-I-N, Laminid Designs.com.

And you can not only see all of the beautiful jewelry that we make every season, special occasions, holidays, even special lines there on the website, but you can also read and see stories of very intentional stories of women who have gone through a lot of abuse in their life. And so if you click on each woman, it kind of tells you a little bit about each one of them. Wow, that's amazing. I looked online and it really is moving, seeing all of their stories. Have you found that this is a problem maybe bigger than you thought it was, that people who are trying for redemption, they're trying to turn their lives around and do the right thing, that they're just, not even given the opportunity. Have you found that this extends larger than just your community?

Yes, we don't market that we are only higher women with post-drug addictions. We just, you know, when we put it out there, friend of a friend or whatever, to say that we've got some openings. It seems like that those are the women that have found us. And so we want to make sure that when these women come, because most of them have also been incarcerated at some point in their life. So they have to check that box that they've been convicted of a felony. And lot of times, you know, employers, they're scared of that box. And they're like, we don't want to take a risk on this person. So we're open to taking a risk on that person, but we're not entitled to having them hold

that job. They're going to have to earn that and keep that job, just like any regular employee. All we're doing is giving them that chance to break that cycle that their families pass down to them. Right. We just don't want that to be passed on in poverty, in dysfunction, in more drug abuse onto their own children. We're trying to help them break that cycle. Exactly. That's the difference between a handout and a hand up. You're giving them the opportunity and then they have to work for it,

just like anyone else does. It's not something that, like you said, they're entitled to or that they get to hold forever, but that they actually have to prove themselves to be competent and to be qualified. And I would guess that that fact gives people a lot of confidence who maybe were struggling before with all kinds of insecurity and thinking they're never going to measure up again. They're never going to be able to prove themselves or prove their worth and to say, hey, look, you've got to earn your keep here. I imagine that that helps give them a sense of self-assurance that they didn't have before. 100% correct. Their problems don't start with taking that first drug or being locked up for the first time.

Their problem started in childhood when they were rejected by a parent or a caregiver over and over in their life, someone telling them they weren't good enough, someone telling them they'll never amount to anything. Their self-worth was taken away long before that first trial of whatever drug that was. So that's what we're trying to help them understand that they are getting back because of the skills that they are learning and what they're doing here at Laminin. I mean, my jewelry designer, everything that you're going to see, you see behind me on our website, is designed by one person who has exactly this history. She was looking at 20 years in prison and she went through a drug court program and had to find a job.

And she came to Laminant and we took her in. And she finished that drug court program. She graduated and she's now our official designer of all of the jewelry that we sell. She didn't know she had that. She asked me, Miss Missy, will you give me a chance at that designing job? I was sure, why not before I go out and hire someone else? And she's doing fantastic. That's just one example.

But so many times people have said, why don't you turn this into a charity and then you could just raise funds instead of risking your own financial stability in doing this? And I thought, you know, we have a charity. We have the Mia Mu Fund, a charity where we help cleft children because of our own daughters and our own experience. I don't want to do another fundraising project. This is not just about handing someone a paycheck, no matter what they do and saying this is charity work. But with the rise and the fall of this business, it's all in their hands. And so the more we succeed, the better they feel about themselves, the more that they understand that they do have a skill, they are valuable, they are worthy to have

this chance in life, and they're recreating new cycles for their families. It's a different sense of responsibility. I think when you know that you're actually needed, when you are filling a role because of your competence or because of what you bring to the table, rather than just, okay, we know that you're a charity case and we're going to allow you to fill this role just because we want to. But no, we need you to and the skills that you're able to bring to the table actually add value. And people are buying the products that you're designing, not just not because they feel bad for you, but because they're good, because their quality. I think that makes a huge difference to people.

So I like that you made that distinction because I'm sure people were wondering. And also I think that you speak to the power of redemption. the same thing that Jesus does to us raises us from death to life when we weren't deserving of that and says, I mean, who are we to not give someone a second chance or an opportunity when Christ has forgiven us of far worse? And so I am very encouraged by how you guys are living out the gospel in that way. There are a lot of people, I think, listening to this that probably are thinking, well, I'm really inspired. I want to maybe do something similar or do something on a smaller scale. their community. Is there any advice that you have for young women that are like, I really

wants to walk the walk in this whole pro-life movement that they might be in and they just, they just don't know how? Sure. I mean, not everybody can open a business. I understand that. But if you already own a business, maybe take a risk on that box one time and maybe pray about that opportunity to hire someone who has been incarcerated and who has committed a felony, but really is trying to turn their life around, take a chance on them. Another thing I thought of was, since I don't have this background in my own personal life or my family, I didn't know how common it was. I really didn't. And I wasn't aware of how to look for it in families around me. So I thought back to my own children and how, you know, even teachers when my kids were going

through something at school, they would reach out to me. I had my oldest son read. He got just in kind of just altercations with this one little girl in first grade. Her name was Maya. And they just didn't like each other. They just kind of just yin, back and forth. And the teacher called me and she said, I just want you to know that I took read aside and I talked to him about his attitude with this girl and about how to give her mercy and patience.

And she's going to do the same thing with him. And I thought, I love that that teacher did that with my child. She cared enough with my child to do that. And so when I think about the way that my employees, these women, were raised. If there would have been a teacher, someone that was in their life every day, that saw something was not quite right and pulled that child aside and said, you know what, I don't know what's going on at home with you, but you are worthy, you are loved, you are going to amount to something one day because you are smart and you are beautiful because of the way

you were created by the creator of the universe. You're purposeful. You were made to be here on purpose. And maybe even that one conversation with that child could have led to a conversation with the mom for the mom to know that their daughter was very well loved and taken care of because all of these cycles, and I know this is a crazy statistic, we've had 51 women come through laminen in three years. And all but one, I would say, had toxic mothers, not mothers who made mistakes, not mothers who really tried but failed. These mothers were toxic because of the way they were raised. Their own way of having to deal with being told that they weren't worthy. They're not loved. They weren't made on purpose. And they passed that down through drugs and alcohol

and abuse to their own children. So what we're trying to do is break that. At Laminin, we're doing it. But when you say, what can someone else do? Just look around. Maybe have that conversation. with that child that you know is going through something, have that conversation with the mom, see where they're going, pull them into your circle, make the mom realize she was made on purpose so that maybe she can go ahead and stop that cycle. I think a lot of times we don't see adults

that either get into drug addiction or commit some kind of crime. We don't see them as people who used to be children, that the things that they're doing as adults, they're not doing in a vacuum. They probably didn't just wake up one day and say, hey, I'm going to be a drug addict or I'm going to get involved with this abusive boyfriend.

It happened over, you know, many years and probably started in childhood. And I think that if we started viewing adults as people who used to be children and were raised in a particular way and we're influenced in a particular way, we probably have a lot more empathy and compassion. It's definitely opened my eyes just being a new mom, just realizing what kids go through and how much impact you really have on your kids, even from the time that they're, the womb and how just not everyone has the opportunity to get told, hey, you have a purpose and you are loved by God and you were created, especially in your mother's womb. You're made for more than

all this stuff that you're seeking to find fulfillment and happiness. And I think that you're absolutely right. Even just starting with that kids going into school and seeing that one kid who might be alone by themselves and isn't included and doesn't have any friend to talk to, maybe it just starts there. Maybe it starts there on college campuses and in high school. school and different places like that for kids to just be the one to reach out and to speak into that person's life. Is there any advice that you have for moms that are wanting to raise kids that are includeers that maybe are the first people in these people's lives to say you matter? Right. You know, kids are so self-focused. I've raised three. So it's so hard for another child

to look and empathize with another child. Yeah. But we can start. talking to them about their experiences at school and just those little encouraging messages like what did you what did you see about her today or something that's off because I know now after raising kids that if they are having trouble with another kid at school or this kid is annoying or this kid's trying to get attention or he's acting out something is not right at home and to give that friend that that annoying classmate whoever that is give them a little mercy and understand something's not right. And usually all those times that my kids have come home complaining about someone like that, and I've told them that, they'll come back a few days later,

and they have found out what's going on. So I don't know if they've asked them, had conversations with them, talk to the teacher, but once you plant that in there and realize they're doing the best that they can, they're not getting the substances that they need in terms of love and acceptance and hope for a future from their own parents, because their parents are going through something that's not right in their life. And they, we don't want, we don't want to, but sometimes we interject all of our own insecurities onto our own children. And so in order to, you know, write those wrongs, go ahead as a parent, apologize.

This is what I'm going through. Love me. I love you. I'm going to make mistakes and you're going to make mistakes. So let's give each other some mercy. And sometimes that, that really can solve a whole lot. You know, love can conquer a lot of things. and patience too. But as children, we look at our parents like they can do no wrong. And when that

happens and we see that they are doing something wrong, we're confused. Like, why are they doing that, but they're telling me not to? So transparency in childhood, I think is a big deal with that. And when they get older, that's what we're trying to actually teach here at Laminant. It's just when you mess up because you're going to, tell your child, I messed up. I hope you still love me. I love you. and they're actually implementing some of those things in their daily lives. That's awesome. I think that's especially hard to do as parents because you want your kids to think that you have it all together.

You're afraid maybe that if you show your weaknesses or your failures that they will either not respect to as much or maybe even see it as an excuse to misbehave themselves. But I think what it does is show then that, hey, I am in just as much need of grace from God as you are. And we're learning together and I'm trying to lead by example, but I'm not always going to be perfect. And you hope that that breeds dependency on Christ from them. And I think that's really the best you can do. Is there any other advice that you would have for new moms? I'm a new mom. I'm always looking for godly wisdom. The newborn stage is is fun. I've heard the other stages are or even harder.

But I'm always looking for advice from people who are a lot more experienced than I am. So just any general wisdom. If I could go back, I would show my kids a lot more mercy. I will say that and not be so hard on them in terms of how I want them to act. They're going to mess up. And so like what you said about Jesus, his blood covers me every single moment of every single day. So who am I to not give that same mercy and forgiveness to my own children? or even the women here at Lamin.

No one is perfect. We're all going to mess up. But that's what I so love about what Christ did for us is that as long as we are walking in the light, we're not hiding what we're doing, which is what these girls have seen from their parents. They hide, they hid their lifestyle so that their children wouldn't see it. But we see it, right? Our kids see all of our flaws.

So as long as we're walking in the light as he is in the light, the blood covers all of and forgives us. And we have fellowship with each other. In order, in other words, we can relate to each other. We can encourage each other. We talk to each other. We can be open and transparent. Fellowship is not just the surface stuff. It's deep fellowship is getting to know each other and understanding that none of us are perfect, but we can be perfect if we're walking in the light with Jesus's blood. So we're making a difference here at Laminin and it's encouraging to me, completely blessing to me to see these women who are so strong, so courageous to get up every day and fight these battles because even though a lot of them here have put Christ on as their

Lord through this whole process of working here, the people around them have not. So their lives around them have not changed, even though they've changed. So they have a different perspective on the life they still have to go home to every night and every weekend have to deal with. with, you know, baby daddies and people who don't support them and all of the mess that they've tried to escape from. So just because that they've become Christians doesn't mean that their lives have been cleaned up around them. So that's the hard part for them is just that daily encouragement. And they get that from each other. And we've seen actually really good success rates here. And I mentioned 51 women. 80% of those women are still clean, which that is exactly in contrast

to what's going on in society with drug abuse, 20% stay clean. So we're seeing 80% at laminin. So another thing about having a secure and a safe place to come to work every day and being encouraged that you're valued and that you're worthy and that we need your skill set and that you're loved. And also that you're not just loved by me and the women around you, but you're loved by the creator of the universe and you matter. it's giving them that purpose and that acceptance and belonging that they've probably never really felt

and maybe we're seeking through drugs or seeking through bad relationships all of us have been there in some kind of way even if it wasn't drugs or relationship just looking for happiness and fulfillment and things where we know that they aren't we know that they're in Christ but maybe we've gone through temptation or I know you know when I was in college the party scene is tempting to to to find that kind of satisfaction in and we just know that it's not there. So for these women, maybe for the first time ever to hear that, hey, instant gratification and temporary happiness actually isn't worth it. There's something bigger than you.

There's something bigger than those fleeting highs. There's a purpose that you can strive to. I imagine that's why you see such a discrepancy between the people that are at Lamin and the people that are just in society hoping for the best. If you don't attach yourself to something else, you're just going to keep on going back to the thing that's familiar and feels good. Yes. So I imagine you're breaking those cycles. Do most of them have kids?

All of them. All of them have children, yes. But I will say that none of them right now have successful marriages. Right. So, you know, those are not just coincidences. Yeah. You know, with all these statistics. But one of the girls told me recently, you know, no one really, as a little girl,

old says when I grow up, I want to be a prostitute. Yeah. No, exactly. You know, and not even when you're looking for a job, you know, like maybe I could just sell myself. Yeah. So those are not real conscious decisions. It's when you fall into that lifestyle of having to get that next fix.

That is when you start having to go to the desperate means of selling your body to do that. And so once you do that, of course, then the less you feel about yourself, the more ashamed you are. And that's because that when God wrote that sin on your heart, we, We know that when we do things wrong. We upset the creator of the universe. We know that we're not right with him. But yet then we don't feel worthy enough to go to him.

And it's that cycle and the devil telling you, you'll never be good enough even for God. And that is just such a lie. I mean, God is so much bigger than we can ever even imagine. So to understand Jesus and the cross and that it does not matter what your background is, does not matter what you've done, he is there and he can save anybody. And they're learning that here and their lives are changing.

That's what I love about the Bible is that the stories that we get to read are the stories of the people that are unexpected, the people that we feel are unentigled to this, the people that we feel are undeserving. God actually says that he picks the people that you least expect. He picks the weak and the unwise according to the world's standards. and he kind of flips the whole economy of that on its head. And it not only humbles us, but it also allows us to see people equally and see people as on the same level that we are, that we're all dead apart from Christ and in Christ, we have purpose.

And it doesn't matter what you've done in the past. And I think it's really hard for people in the world to see that because it's so counterintuitive and countercultural. But you're right. They are seeing that. And I did want to touch on just one more thing. You talked about that they don't have healthy marriages, which is true for a lot of people in society. The divorce rates are obviously high.

But you and Jace are showing them an example of what a godly marriage looks like. So can you give us advice that maybe you would give them as well for a godly marriage prioritizing your husband when you're busy and have kids and just kind of what that looks like? Yes. Again, I think I'm going back to that word mercy. Yeah. You know, because a lot of little things can add up. But mercy can go a long way because I need it too from him. But, you know, we've worked together for a long time.

And I thought when I first, I used to work away from home for many, many years in a doctor's office. Once I started working for Duck Commander, I thought, how's this going to work? I'm going to be with Jace, like all day and all day. all night. Like, I don't know if this is going to work or not. But it actually, it did. And we've learned to better communicate. We've learned to kind of discuss it out emotionally. And then we're okay with that. You know, so we're not scared to tell each other anything and we don't hide anything from each other. So 29 years and I love him so much more than the day I married him. And I really, really love to be with him. And we have a lot of fun together, even though he says we have nothing in common but Jesus on our kids.

But we have a really good time together. We like LSU football, too. So I'll say that. So a few things in common, three things in common. Jesus, your kids and football. That's perfect. Okay. One actually, one more thing.

I know I said one more thing. You wrote a few books for faith girls. Is that correct? Yes. We both did together. That's so fun. Can you tell people about that and maybe where they can go to look for these books? Sure.

It's the Faith Girls series and it's called Princess and Cammo. It's a four book series. And you can find it. It's from Zonder Kids. Zondervid Publating. So it's on Amazon and I'm sure there's many other places. They've all been out. Actually, I think yesterday on my Facebook memories, the last two came out a year ago.

So they've all been out for one year now. And they're just precious. They're good values for preteens. Mia and I wrote them about her and her cousins that everybody will recognize from Duck Dynasty. And it was really fun because they got to pick their own characters and their names and their hair colors and all of that. So just one example, Bella wanted to, she said, well, I just want my character to be able to sing like Adele. And they all busted out laughing because Bella's not known for her singing voice. And so they got to pick some really fun characteristics about themselves.

and it's some really good adventurous, fun, encouraging stories. Well, I wanted to bring that up just because people are messaging me all the time asking me what books are good, not just for them, but for their kids. And I'm always looking for that too now that I have a daughter. And so I wanted to make sure that people know, like you said, I think you can get it on Amazon, Zondar Kids, so you can probably just Google it and purchase those. Is there any last thing that you would like?

to leave people with. You can, of course, tell people where they can find you. I think you've already said laminid designs.com. Anything else? Yes, a lot of people after they hear what we're doing here at laminin, they're moved and they want to help. And so we get a lot of requests of, what can I do? Can I contribute? Can I donate? We're not a charity. Once again, we're a real business. So I have three words for anyone who wants to help us, buy the jewelry. The more jewelry we sell the more women we can hire. And that's the main goal here at Lamin. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me. Yes, thank you for having me. I hope you guys enjoy that conversation. I was so encouraged. I know I said that last week too when I talked to Dale Partridge,

but it's true. I am so encouraged by these conversations of people not just talking to talk, but walking the walk and giving an example of how we can be the hands and feet of Jesus to people. And I I love, the thing that I love, and I wanted to bring this up, but I didn't want to derail the conversation because we weren't talking about politics. But when she was talking about giving people a purpose and actually making a profit and making this a real company, now that there's anything wrong with nonprofit organizations and charities, I think that those are awesome too. They serve their own purpose. But having a company where people have this necessary role, where they are bringing value, real value to the marketplace, because people like their work

and like their designs. That is why. That is one example. I know I'm kind of getting off topic, but I didn't want to finish this episode without talking about this. That is why socialism is so stupid. That is why socialism doesn't work

because people were actually created to work. Work is not a product of the fall. A lot of times we see work is inherently bad, but it's not work actually existed. The responsibility that man and woman had to work and to work the ground and to name the animals and all of that happened before the fall.

So what that means is that human beings were originally made to work. We were made to be productive. We were made to create something. We were made to actually earn. Additionally, the idea of private property is also a biblical idea. Thou shall not covet, thou shalt not steal. That's getting a little bit off topic. But the point is that there is purpose and work.

There is goodness in work in actually making a profit in making something that people want and need and desire to purchase, that is a good thing. And so I love that she is doing this kind of Christ-like work in a way that is like, hey, you got to earn your keep. You have to show your worth. You actually have to show up on time and do hard work. That is the beauty, part of the beauty of the free market and part of the evil of socialism is that it takes away that responsibility that we have to the market.

and it makes us in a lot of ways a pretty much purposeless. Now, that's not to say that you have to make a profit in order to have purpose. A lot of people are stay-at-home moms. A lot of people run nonprofits and they're not actually making a profit. But the point is that work in general, work that is actually needed, whether it gives a profit or not, gives people a kind of higher calling and purpose that can change their lives. and it can change the direction of their journey for the better.

So I just wanted to bring that up because that's what I was thinking about the whole time. It's like this is why socialism is so bad because it robs people. And that is why when people get out of work, for example, or when they lose their job, they can very often become depressed. They can very often become dejected because the human spirit was made to work. It was made to cultivate. It was made to produce, whether that is raising children or whether that is working as a publicist or an accountant, whatever it is, we are meant to have purpose. Not only the purpose

of being Christians and laying ourselves down for the cause of Christ, but also we are just, we are made to have an endeavor on earth and to make the tiny plot of earth that we have around us better. So that's just one thought that I wanted to add. I didn't want to say it to her because I didn't want to derail the conversation, but I wanted to make sure that I added that in. Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoyed that conversation. Make sure to go to laminendonsons.com. You can use promo code relatable and you will get a discount on their products. I am going to do that right now.

I'm really excited to get some new jewelry, awesome company, awesome mission. So make sure you go to laminendidelines.com and use their promo code relatable. That is it for today. I will see you guys back here on Monday.